How To Handle The Death Of a Loved One - Wednesday Service

[Music] father we thank you for this another opportunity to minister to these your precious sheep thank you lord that for revelation knowledge that will flow freely uninterrupted and unhindered by any satanic or demonic force and father i pray that you will speak through my vocal cords and think through my mind none of me all of you it's in jesus name we pray and everybody said amen well god bless you and welcome to wednesday night bible study tonight i'm going to begin to teach on um something i believe will help us we're going to talk about how to deal with the death of a loved one in other words i want to make it as simple as practical as i possibly can so that you can use this even in your future uh i'm sure all of us at some time in our life have had to go through the death of a loved one and we need to know what the bible has to say about it because if you don't know what the bible has to say about it you will begin to sorrow as those who have no hope but if you do know what the bible says about it then you'll be able to walk in the in the revelation of what god wants you to see and so uh i want to start off with something here that'll that'll really bless you if you go to first thessalonians chapter 4 and i want you to listen to me very carefully as as i hopefully can provoke some thought in you tonight you know the death of a loved one it it's heartbreaking and i want to be as compassionate as i can possibly be tonight as i teach this and each bereavement has its special set of sorrows and and other strong emotions that are associated with it there is sorrow that comes suddenly and shockingly with an unexpected death and there's a long sorrow of gradually losing someone during a terminal illness and then there's the untimely death of a child which is especially devastating now consider a man and a woman who have had a long and loving marriage and as god told adam and eve they have become one flesh now when one dies the surviving spouse usually feels forsaken and empty and lonely and and torn in two and of course the similar feelings are are appear when anyone dies in your life of course that but when you love someone you become vulnerable to sorrow and that comes from losing that person love is all important and god doesn't want us to hold back on loving people to avoid uh future grief in our life the bible also makes it clear that our grief will be temporary while our joy will be forever and the bible gives us hope of an amazing future when we will reun we will be reunited with our loved ones again so let's deal with the first issue what about the comfort does the bible offer comfort how do i find hope and how do i find comfort at the death of a loved one so i want to go straight to this most to i believe the most comforting scripture in all the bible and that's first thessalonians chapter 4 verse 13 through 18. and as i read this to me this is the the most comforting scripture verse 13 says but i would not have you to be ignorant or not knowing brethren concerning them which are asleep underline that word of sleep that you sorrow not even as others which have no hope he says for if we believe that jesus died and rose again even so them also would sleep in jesus will god bring with him for this we say unto you by the word of the lord that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the lord shall not prevent them here it is again which are asleep for the lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout or command with the voice of the archangel and with the trump of god and the dead in christ shall rise first then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the lord in the air and so shall we ever be with the lord and he says wherefore comfort one another with these words so this is a very comforting thing to know that there appears to be something that happens even after death so the primary way the bible portrays death is what we see in this word asleep look with me at john chapter 11 with me in john chapter 11 verse 11 the primary way that the bible portrays death is found here in john chapter 11 11. he says and he said to them our friend lazarus watch this sleeps but i go that i may wake him up look at that again our friend lazarus sleeps and he's talking about the sleep of death but i go that i may wake him up so john goes on to relate how jesus raised lazarus from the dead to life you know through the rest of the verses down to verse 45 but in the bible death is often referred to as sleep which is a total lack of consciousness in fact look at psalms 13 and verse 3. the bible often refers to death as sleep a total lack of consciousness look at this in psalms 13 and 3 he says consider and hear me o lord my god lighten my eyes lest i sleep the sleep of death lest i sleep the sleep of death now the beautiful metaphor of sleep emphasizes the fact that the first death is temporary and that everyone who dies will be awakened and so that's why this metaphor sleep is used it it's it's to give us this indication that you know if the bible says cause death sleep he also says you can be awakened glory be to god you know those who sleep can be awakened and this is why he chooses to use this metaphor for death this understanding of death is much more comforting than all of the erroneous unbiblical ideas about death that we've probably heard in our past when someone dies family and friends often suffer with regret and feelings of guilt about things that they had said or done or things they neglected to say or to do but god doesn't want us to to beat ourselves up about the past he wants us to repent of our sins and to look forward to our reunion in the next life when we will have plenty of opportunity to talk with our loved ones because please understand that when he says to die means to fall asleep and to fall asleep means you can be awakened so there's gonna be a time where everybody's gonna be awakened those who are in christ will be awakened to the first resurrection and then everybody else will be awakened to the second resurrection so how does the bible then betray uh portray death as an uh and and what do we what do we find out what does the bible have to say about death now as far as i can understand death is portrayed as an enemy in the bible in fact look at first corinthians chapter 15 22 and 26 first corinthians 15 22 and 26 the bible portrays death as an enemy verse 22 says it like this he says for as in adam all die even so in christ shall all be made alive now look at verse 26 he says the last enemy that shall be destroyed look what he says is death so death is portrayed as an enemy and he says it will be destroyed now the bible portrays death as our enemy but after the return of christ death will be swallowed up in victory do you know that scripture look at first corinthians chapter 15 and 54 death will be swallowed up in victory first corinthians 15 54 says so when this corruptable shall have put on incorruption he's talking about the death and the dead body and the mortal shall have put on immortality then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written here it goes death is swallowed up in victory so there's a truth that we can live by and there's a truth that we can stand upon and look forward to a person who is close to god now please listen to this because you know i said something a couple weeks ago in fact i counted twice when i said it out of my mouth and and i didn't mean i needed a better way to say that you know i was saying to taffy you know i'm really looking forward to dying but what i really meant was i'm really looking forward to putting on my spiritual body in god's kingdom and one of the things i recognize in scripture is that a person who is close to god can in one sense look forward to death just as paul did uh you're saying looking forward to death well like i said most more likely you're looking forward to putting on your new spiritual body and god's kingdom but but paul really looked forward to this is it possible that that there are some people you know who are so close to god they look forward to it and in philippians chapter 1 i'm going to read this in nlts philippians chapter 1 verse 21 through 24 in the nlt look at and listen to paul as he struggles with whether to stay here or not in verse 21 he says for to me living means living for christ he says but to me and dying is even better what that that's somebody that knows god in verse 22 he says but if i live i can do more fruitful work for christ so i really don't know which is better next verse i'm torn between two desires i long to go and be with christ which would be far better for me but for your sakes it is better that i continue to live are you kidding me i mean you know everybody ever met was i mean nobody i never heard anybody say they they were longing to be with christ but when you establish a personal relationship with god and you spend time with him and you you know his goodness and you know his love and and every day is another adventure with god you can be like the apostle paul what he or she is really looking forward to is not death itself but it's it's waking up with a new body in god's kingdom and that's what i look forward to waking up in a new body in god's kingdom so what about grieving over death what about how do you handle the grief that comes over you at the death of a loved one well let me show you two scriptures write these down and if you don't get them you can hear this over again matthew chapter 5 and 4 says blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted first thessalonians chapter 4 13 says but i do not want you to be ignorant brethren concerning those who fall asleep lest you sorrow as others who have no hope you know what he says don't be ignorant ignorant or what don't be ignorant of one of the things you know some of the things i'm teaching you right now don't be ignorant that when a person falls asleep he can be awakened don't be ignorant of all of the promises that god made concerning life after death he says because if you're ignorant of this then you will sorrow as others who have no hope which is one of the reasons i'm teaching this tonight because there's so many people who are ignorant of this issue and the subject of death that they have no choice but to sorrow as those who have no hope you know it's normal and healthy to grieve when we lose the companionship of a loved one those who repress grief rather than expressing it they suffer more emotional problems in the long run but healthy grieving you know you heard me right healthy grieving depends on facing the reality of death you know in today's humanistic society in today's humanistic culture that is a culture that's obsessed with prolonging human life and many people avoiding preparing for death or even discussing the topic feeling it's so taboo to even say the word died people will use euphemisms like they pass and that's no problem but here's what i want you to want you to understand denying death makes it harder for people to grieve and support one another and to heal and so we no longer have to hide behind euphemisms it's one of the things that will happen we don't deny it uh it'll affect how we grieve it'll affect how we heal in a sense i'm telling people it's okay to sit in the pain around others who are sitting in the same pain so you can heal properly you know those who truly understand the bible feel and they express grief not fear and not despair but their hope and faith gives them great comfort and the apostle paul right after explaining about the promise of the resurrection he said in first thessalonians 4 18 therefore comfort one another with these words so during a time of greece please please please make sure you avoid these two common serious mistakes number one don't try to mask your pain by getting drunk or some kind of drug abuse don't try to drown your sorrows with addictive behavior and then number two don't neglect to sleep and have good nutrition because you know getting sick is only going to uh greatly add to the stress that you already have okay so let's look at the next thing here is it okay to reminisce when somebody when a loved one dies is it okay to cry when a loved one dies is it okay to laugh when a loved one dies well look at romans chapter 12 and verse 15 romans chapter 12 and verse 15. verse 15 says rejoice with those who rejoice weep with those who weep john 11 tells us the story of lazarus's death and resurrection and notice that not only did jesus not criticize the family and the friends of lazarus who were weeping john 11 35 records that he wept the bible teaches us to sympathize and empathize with others who are grieving after someone's death it is important for the loved ones and the friends to to spend time together and and to reminisce and and to talk about their precious memories and and memories that bring forth warm reflection tears and laughter when someone walk uh uh when when somebody walks in and you're you're going through this situation one of the things that i would advise is that you have the depth of the loved one get get each each family member or friend bring the pictures that you have and put all those pictures on the table and sit down and look at the pictures and reminisce over what you see and it may bring some tears and it may bring crying but that's good that's something reminiscing is something that uh should take place in your life i highly highly recommend that sometimes people don't know what to do but to cry all the time get get the photographs i mean you have so many of them spread them out on the table and doing the re-pass or something or the gathering of the family sit there look at the pictures laugh at the pictures rejoice let it remind you that's an excellent thing to do to cause that healing process to begin to take place well but how do our trials and sorrows prepare us to help other people especially our children i mean how how how am i going through this can see that i'm now going to be prepared to help other people or to help my own children i remember when my father died it certainly when things that happened at that particular time in my life prepared me to even help other people second corinthians let me show you something here real quick verses one through three here's what he said second corinthians one through three excuse me ii corinthians chapter one three through four second corinthians chapter one three through four and here's what he says blessed be the god and father of our lord jesus christ the father of mercies and the god of all comfort who comforts us in all tribulation that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by god so our trials benefit us if we learn compassion for others and the comfort we receive should teach us how to give comfort to others we especially must not overlook the needs listen to this of our children we shouldn't try to hide death from our children after the death of a loved one they often don't know what to think they don't know what to say they don't know what questions to ask they don't know how to express their emotions they need to understand they need comfort they need reassurance and they need to feel uh to be filled with love and security and hope and they need to be with the family and they need to be involved in the sharing in those discussions they need to be involved in that grieving and that healing process as well so so very important and so vital and i think a lot of times we just want to throw the kids in a room and not let them be a part of it and that's not probably not the best thing to do first john chapter 3 uh 16 and verse 18. i'm going to read this out of the good news translation first john 3 verse 16 and 18 out of the good news translation he says this is how we know what love is christ gave his life for us we too then ought to give our lives for others my children our love should not be just words and talk it must be true love which shows itself in action now words of comfort have a very powerful healing effect absolutely but more than words is needed remember that that family of someone who has just died they're faced with a whole lot of decisions a lot of arrangements that need to be made and plus their daily choice chores that need to take place it's frustrating it's depressing to to lose a loved one and and you hardly have time to even think because you're frantically rushing around from one responsibility to the next and so it can be very helpful to offer specific help to families in mourning specific things i could pick the kids up for you for the rest of the week uh i'll i'll take care of the cooking for you for the rest of the week i'll do the words are important but if you can get in there and help relieve some of the the duties and things of the normal day life while they're going through that that's a pretty powerful thing and if you're in mourning listen to this be willing to be to gratefully accept uh the help that other people offer you and sometimes people you know they they're a little bit you know you know too humble or something i don't know what it is it's probably not real humility but when people want to help you in that particular time be gracious accept the help somebody wants to do your life oh no you ain't got to do it and i'll do it you got a a million things to talk about because when people are around and they love you let them love you let them and receive that that's so so very very very important now i want to show you a scripture because this scripture really kind of uh caused me to pause a little bit in my thinking but i believe that when you experience the death of a loved one you need to hear this and it's the lesson that you can learn from life losses and sorrows lessons to be learned during the midst of this this loss or this sorrow or this the death of a loved one i'm going to read out of the niv version ecclesiastes chapter 7 and verses 2 through 4. and after all if if i'm not showing you the answers from the word of god then what good is it we've been bombarded with a lot of opinions of people but i'm showing you directly what the word says now listen to this this is kind of interesting so it's going to probably do to you what it did to me he says it is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting for death is the destiny of every man the living should take this to heart sorrow is better than laughter because a sad face is good for the heart see that was freaking me out when i read that i'm like what he says the heart of the wise is in the house of mourning but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure all right so now listen to this everyone needs time to laugh everyone needs time to dance but we also need time to weep and mourn according to ecclesiastes three and four there's a time for weeping and mourning now spiritual growth takes place more in difficult times than in easy times and when a loved one dies it's a valuable time to reflect upon your own life your own mortality a time to reflect upon your own relationship with god you know it has been said that an open casket is uh can be worth a thousand sermons some people avoid funerals they avoid visiting people uh and hospitals they avoid visiting people in nursing homes because those situations make them feel uncomfortable it makes them feel unhappy but to be a healer you must go where people are hurting and if you do your unselfishness will help you mature and grow and that's why this scripture says it's better to go to a house of mourning than to a house of feasting because you'll grow more in that house of mourning than you will in that house of feasting so then what's the greatest source of understanding and comfort during this time during this time what is the greatest source of understanding and comfort and i can tell you right away i'll show you scripture but god is the greatest source he's the greatest source that you can ever have in psalms 147 and 3 psalms 147 and 3 the bible says that god heals the brokenhearted and he binds up their wounds in romans chapter 15 and 4 he says for everything forever excuse me verse 4 says for what whatever things were written before were written for our learning that we through the patience and comfort of scriptures we might have hope god is our source ladies and gentlemen god is that source for understanding and comfort our creator he knows our heart and he always knows best how to help us and all the answers to life's questions are in his word and when we are grief stricken if we will talk to god and if we'll read his word we will experience great comfort great hope and great healing prayer and the bible prayer and studying the word are those two things that we need to do every day of our lives so here's the last issue i want you to think about and i'll give you some practical things that you can do as well what about the suffering and the sorrow is there an end to it yes it is ultimately there's a big end to it uh revelations chapter 21 and 4 says this he says and god will wipe away every tear from their eyes there shall be no more death nor sorrow nor crying there shall be no more pain for the former things have passed away and so not only will families be reunited but we'll all be in one big happy family the family of god and that family will live forever with no more death no more sorrow and no more crying now there's some practical things that that i want to share with you real quick because you know if you've ever experienced the death of a loved one you know i giving a list of things will will really help you out and these are 12 things that i believe you can apply to your life really really quick uh when you experience the death of a loved one number one realize that everyone deals with death differently realize that everyone deals with death differently number two open up and talk about it but only when you're ready open up and talk about it but only when you are ready number three let yourself be vulnerable it's okay let yourself be vulnerable at this particular time number four allow your friends to be there for you that's really big allow your friends to be there for you number five realize and know that you're allowed to be messed up you know somebody why are you doing all that you're allowed to be messed up you're allowed to freak out and and it's okay allow yourself that time number six don't mask the pain it only pushes back the healing process don't mask the pain again it's going to get drunk to try to mask the pain uh using drugs to try to master pain don't mask the pain it only pushes back the healing process number seven maybe go someplace you've never been before why would i even say that so that you can see i mean this this i did this you can see that life go is still going on and that you need to to go on too uh that time when my father died i i immediately went out of town i was doing what what i loved to do what i wanted to do and it said to me that you know he's dead but life goes on he's asleep god will wake him up later but life goes on number eight i believe this is do what you love to do you know what you love to do before they die so do what you love to do number nine cherish the memories of your loved ones cherish those memories don't don't hide behind things cherish those memories all right number 10 give yourself time to heal give yourself time to heal go to bed get up do what you got to do go back to bed get up do what you got to do number 11 one day at a time i had to take it one day at a time make it through this day make it through the next day one day at a time and number 12 i want to keep it i want to put it like this keep it moving just keep it moving you can do all those things but you just keep it moving and i think that's a key thing to just keep it moving and when you do that you allow yourself to heal you allow yourself to go on with the great hope that those who sleep in christ and those who fall asleep the sleep of death they will be awakened father we thank you for this night i pray that this has been practical enough so that people who have experienced the death of a loved one well maybe some of these scriptures and and some of this information will allow them to just pick up the pieces and go forward oh while we so love anyone and everyone who's gone through the death of a loved one we also pray that they can rise above that hurt and that pain and that they don't ignore death but they allow the healing process to take place surrounded by people who love them and they love uh they love those people as well so we pray for those who are tuning in to this teaching tonight we bless them in the mighty name of jesus and everybody said amen you know if you're here and you've not been born again don't wait until it's too late you don't want to wait to die before you make a decision to make jesus the lord of your life you don't want to do that you can make a decision right now tonight to give your heart to jesus christ and be ready to die make a decision tonight not only give your heart to jesus but to to grow such a relationship with him that you'll be like paul looking forward to waking up in a new spirit body in god's kingdom if that's you repeat this prayer after me heavenly father i realize that i'm a sinner but right now i repent of all my sins i make you my lord and my savior come into my heart save me jesus and so right now i believe that i'm saved and i thank you for being my savior in jesus name amen now if you prayed that prayer with me uh text the key word i'm saved that's one word to 51555. provide your name and the email address we'll send you a free ebook as a free gift to you today welcome to the kingdom of god and whether you know it or not you are prepared to die at any time to be absent from the body is to be present with the lord amen praise god well let's uh complete our worship tonight as we bring our gifts before god and as we give before him and in this series of understanding series i'll i'll be doing teachings like you know this one tonight like understanding water baptism understanding the baptism of the holy spirit uh teachings like uh before i say i do and enter into a marriage that you're not pro you know prepared for we think that it's time to give some really practical things so that we can make them available for you so that when certain real lives situations happen in life you'll have access uh to some simple practical uh teachings on life's circumstances and situations and so we hope that that will bless you tafa will be in joining me in some of these teachings because right now relationships are being hammered and we believe we have something simple and practical that if you'll do it you'll see the power of simplicity show up in your life and remove burdens and destroy yokes so at this time let's uh prepare our gifts uh to give before god in thanksgiving for what he's already given to us isn't it awesome that i'm already blessed i woke up this morning blessed i woke up this morning healed delivered i woke up this morning having access to all the finished works of jesus christ so my giving is the giving of gratitude and thanksgiving for what god has already done if you're giving through the text tonight you can text world changers space and then the amount to 74483 if you are going to call and would like to use the phone to get some help there on the phone in which you're giving you can call 1-866-477-7600 you can mail of course to 2500 bernat road college park georgia or if you'd like to give online you can go to worldchanges.org or creflodollahministries.org and there you can also use your paypal if you're watching from overseas or or even if here you have one here in the united states we are so thankful and grateful that we have a church that understands that we have partners that understands the power of giving gifts as a worship to god almighty and it's a blessing and so tonight i'm also rejoicing that we have a church that understands how to handle the death of a loved one all is well but please understand this the greatest thing you can do in life is to develop an intimate relationship with god so that you're like always so excited about the day where you will wake up with a brand new spiritual body in the kingdom of god what a blessing of the lord i mean to read that paul had that it it should have blown your mind like wow there actually are people who know god and and love god so much that they're excited about waking up in heaven yeah man and i pray that same desire comes on the inside of you well hey guys we love you so much thank you wednesday night crew and and and all of our friends for joining us for this bible study tonight don't forget to join me tomorrow and for friday for our morning confessions and this weekend we'll continue on our series of understanding um idolatry and how to overcome it so it's a blessing of the lord i pray that you will continue to grow in the things of god and become more and more excited about learning and understanding who you are in christ jesus now unto him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you faultless before the almighty god be glory majesty dominion and power both now and forever and everybody said amen good night everybody god bless you

Channel: Creflo Dollar Ministries

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Length: 37min 47sec (2267 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 24 2021