Batman v Superman - The Worst Superhero Movie Ever Made?

this video is sponsored by nordvpn welcome back everybody to the worst superhero movies ever made a series where i help you ignore the decay of western society and today the time has finally come i am finally going to watch the movies i've been avoiding for over a year now the movies that truly inspired this series i think batman v superman is the movie that a lot of people think about when they think about bad dc movies and i avoided watching it for a really long time so yes that is the subject of this video but first i think it's only fair that we talk about the movie that came before it so let's start by talking about man of sponsorships that's right i tricked you i'm sorry today's video is sponsored by nordvpn now you guys know i don't do sponsorships too often in these videos but this is one that i actually use so you gotta listen to me whether you like it or not now i gotta tell you guys a story i i've never told anybody this but a few years ago i was a victim of cyber crime that's right a sneaky little stinky cyber goblin hacked some of my data and it was pretty annoying i don't recommend it and if you're like me you don't really know how useful a vpn is until you need one if you use your computer or even your phone out in public without a vpn it's basically like driving without your seatbelt and if you do that i'm gonna tell elmo that you haven't been paying attention to his his lesson plan the way it works is that if you're ever out using wi-fi that isn't your usual wi-fi network you're actually super exposed and it's really easy for people to do whatever they want and you know just between you and me i've used other vpn services and they've not really been as user friendly i found nordvpn to have a much nicer interface and switching servers is much more simple and right now you guys can take advantage of a limited time black friday deal right now you can get 68 percent off of a two-year plan plus four additional months free if you go to nordvpn.com cosmonaut or use code cosmonaut at checkout keep in mind also that vpns let you do some fun stuff like bypassing region-locked content if you're in america you probably know that we don't get to watch ghibli movies on netflix but if you have a vpn you can just sneak on in and masquerade as a non-american so you too can watch toto's delivery castle like all the cool kids keep in mind though this is a limited time offer this black friday deal isn't going to be available forever but you can also rest easy in the fact that nord has a 30 day money back guarantee so remember go to nordvpn.com cosmonaut or use promo code cosmonaut at checkout for those black friday savings and again i would like to thank nordvpn for sponsoring this video okay let's talk about superman now man of steel is a weird movie i'm gonna be real with you guys i don't even think man of steel is that bad it's not good but compared to the [ __ ] that comes after it it's at least semi-watchable but the biggest problem with this movie is that it feels wrong it shows a fundamental misunderstanding of the superman mythos a character that has been a part of pop culture for a freaking long time okay i think the amount of people who actually get superman is relatively small and i've talked about this in my dc superheroes video so if you haven't seen that go watch that because i don't want to repeat everything i got [ __ ] to do you've seen the length of this video it's already long enough now i've been saying this for years and years but superman isn't as lame as everybody thinks he is but movies have always portrayed him in one of two ways as a boring goody two-shoes boy scout narc or as an emotionless alien demigod that's masquerading as a human without acting like one and that second one has been popularized by these movies and that's because of the director of these movies see zack snyder says he likes comic books but to me he's always seemed like the frat bro who reads watchmen and says bro you gotta read this it's not like other comics it's got sex in it but let's start by doing something that i don't usually do i'm going to compliment him now 300 is a pretty cool movie and i'm not afraid to say that i've said it before plenty of times 300 it doesn't like like you know completely ruin the source material because it's already just a comic about people punching kicking each other so like he's pretty good at that i would agree with you i i think 300 is his best like most iconic movie snyder is really good at looking at [ __ ] at face value and something like 300 is not complex it's very hard to [ __ ] this up and that's that's all the compliments that he's getting right now so it's time to make fun of him again zack snyder doesn't understand watchmen now a lot of people actually like his watchman adaptation and i used to be one of those people but nowadays it kind of ticks me off snyder looked at a story that to some degree satirizes the glorification of comic book violence and he made a dumb action movie that glorifies violence i had a buddy who tried getting me into normal comic books but i was all like no one is having sex or killing each other this isn't really doing it for me i was a little broken that way so when watchmen came along i was like this is more my scene i don't know to me it doesn't sound like he actually gets it so let's take the guy who doesn't understand watchmen and give him the rights to make batman and superman movies i'm sure he'll do a great job i'm like okay no batman's cool he gets to go to a tibetan monastery and be trained by ninjas okay i want to do that but he doesn't like get wrecked in prison that could happen in my movie zack snyder's not interested in making faithful comic book adaptations he wants to make edgelord fan fiction i don't think zack snyder likes superman so i think he made these movies to make the kind of superman that he would want so instead you get these movies with a bad superman and then eventually you get a bad batman and all across these three movies these characters never improve in any way and i understand that most of this video so far has been me complaining about snyder more than actually talking about man of steel but this stuff is really important when we are talking about this series because as i've said in this video already and in other videos before the biggest problem with these movies is that he doesn't understand these characters you can make a movie that has a boring ass story but if you make the main character relatable and interesting it will still make money and people will still go to watch it marvel has been doing this for years now most of these movies are not very ambitious as far as story is concerned they are simply carried by their charismatic characters and in man of steel we have henry cavill as superman who is not exactly the most charismatic person don't play games with me general oh boy and yeah you can tell that it's mostly due to how he's written and directed but to get into that we actually have to watch the movie now now i'm not going to do a full breakdown of this movie because it's not the [ __ ] show that batman v superman is it's not one of the worst superhero movies ever made so i'm just going to try to break down the general idea of why this movie doesn't work for me and then we'll go to the next one to start with the positives i think zod works decently well as a compelling main villain he's around from the very beginning of the movie so we understand who he is and what he's doing pretty early on and honestly i think he works as this overzealous lunatic and i really like how he reacts to finding out that he has superpowers when he's on earth he takes the opposite approach to superman and he's like oh so i'm basically a god i'm just gonna rule the planet now i think that's pretty fun i have no problem with that and you know sometimes i just like when a villain is hammy and evil and yes it's cool to get a villain that you kind of agree with but it's also fun to see a villain who's totally 100 wrong but it's also believable in how insane they are and i mean it he's actually insane i will find him also michael shannon is the only actor in this movie who seems to be trying even a little bit he's the only person here showing a shred of emotion so i'm gonna have to appreciate that even if that emotion is insanity and the scene of superman flying for the first time is kinda cool snyder's really good at montage scenes like this any scene where the main character isn't talking has like a 10 chance of being decent and we're going to see something like that later too however when you actually think about this scene for more than 10 seconds it falls apart but we'll get to that later as for the things in this movie that i don't like we have basically every other thing in the movie to start i hate the way zack snyder directs some of these scenes every single scene has shaky cam and it's pretty disorienting even just a scene of two characters having a normal conversation is going to have shaky cam the action shots also employ other handheld camera techniques and it's never motivated by anything other than the fact that it looks cool why does this scene of an outer space battle look like it was shot by a human on earth without a tripod i don't know bro it looks cool shut up and i hate that he does this hand cam quick zoom for everything he uses it so much in this movie stop using it in every scene extreme close-up i think the designs in this movie are some of the worst i've ever seen like superman's suit looks like [ __ ] and i hate how it's this dumb futuristic alien mesh and that's not the only thing that's ugly all of the alien technology suffers from michael bay transformers syndrome where it just kind of looks like a mess of gray metal there are also some other questionable design choices that's a penis oh and also the movie itself is kinda boring because it's too long the opening scene is a good example of things being too long for no reason i don't need to see superman's dad flying around on a dinosaur and doing karate i know the planet's gonna blow up let's just speed it up the movie is also two and a half hours long and if you look at the plot it's kind of hard to understand where they're filling this time up because it's not a complicated story superman lands on earth he grows up he finds out who his family is immediately after zod shows up and he fights him for an hour the last third of this movie is just blind mass destruction and violence it's basically a 60 minute long dragon ball fight and it's not like this movie even has the cool action directing that snyder is known for it's literally just characters slamming into each other for an entire hour after a while you just become desensitized to it my eyes just glaze over as it keeps going and it keeps drawing out and i care less and less and the destruction in this film is borderline apocalyptic this is the [ __ ] end of the world superman is just blowing through metropolis without any regard for civilian casualties and to top it off it ends with superman murdering zod which is just so very wrong i've already clowned on this scene before so i'm not gonna repeat myself too much if you're strong enough to snap his [ __ ] neck and leave a shock wave afterwards then why don't you just aim his face somewhere else you didn't even try but the reason this sucks starts at the fundamental misunderstanding of superman as a character the number one job of a superhero movie is to make us like the main character we don't even really need to fully agree with them on a personal level we just have to feel something for them even the [ __ ] joker movie gets this right yes joker is a psychopathic murderer but we still kind of empathize with him in his movie yet this is a movie about a good guy some would argue the goodest guy that's ever existed and yet we feel nothing for him the best superman stories focus on his humanity because that's the key to making us like him he was raised on earth he was raised by humans and his full life of experiences up to this point is that of a human on earth he's a human first a human that just so happens to also be an alien and this is something that i have never seen written well in a superman movie i think the laziest [ __ ] that you can do with this character is compare him to jesus and that's all zack snyder does do you get it guys what does this remind you of for a movie like this to work you just have to make us relate to the superhero and it's really not that hard to do if you just try but this movie doesn't even try to do that take this simple scene of clark washing up on shore after saving people in the beginning of the movie he doesn't have any clothes and he just sees some clothes lying around clark finds the unattended clothing outside he takes them and he continues on his way but what if we take the opportunity to have a cute character moment that's specific to superman i personally don't think clark kent would steal clothes even if he really needed them i could see him awkwardly going up to the door and asking for the clothes this would be a cute chance to have some fun dialogue showing that clark is nice almost to a fault oh sorry i forgot that scene would be too long we have to have a short scene like this one because we spent the first 20 [ __ ] minutes of the movie on space battles and dinosaurs and karate who wants to waste time focusing on boring character development who cares about that hey by the way did you know that superman's hair is too thick for normal razors he actually has to use his laser vision to fry the hair off of his face oh and it looks like clark kent has a beard in this movie maybe it would be cute to have a scene of his morning routine sometimes showing a superhero doing a basic morning routine but with a super powered twist can help us relate to them but no his beard just vanishes between scenes we can't waste time on [ __ ] like that we have to get to the action baby in this movie while we are being introduced to clark kent we see him attempt to stand up to a guy who's harassing a waitress clark then gets bullied by the man and gets so embarrassed that he goes outside and does this to his truck when nobody is looking this is pretty [ __ ] sinister clark kent doesn't exact revenge on people in petty ways like this the first time i saw this movie i really thought that this guy was gonna try to punch clark in the face and then like break his hand or something and then clark would be embarrassed and apologetic and i don't like implying that i can write these scenes better because i'm not a screenwriter i don't want to write a movie but these are just alternatives that pop into my head when i see something that doesn't seem right to me this doesn't feel right for superman now about an hour into this movie we see that clark accepts his role as a superhero but by this point we don't know anything about him as a person other than the fact that he wants to do good which is a trait that every superhero just comes packaged with so it's not really that special seeing him fly for the first time uninhibited may look cool but it kind of feels hollow because we don't know this person and after he becomes superman we don't get any scenes of him saving people or doing anything superman like we don't get to see him be superman it skips the part where the superhero does superhero stuff and it goes straight to the final battle i'm not lying this movie basically is an intro flashback leading up to superman becoming a superhero and then the final battle begins this makes it even weirder in future movies when the characters in this world see superman as a hero because as far as i'm concerned he's a war criminal the first thing he does when he is publicly revealed is destroy the [ __ ] city he destroys the local 711 the local sears and the local ihop and that kind of domestic terrorism would never be forgiven hell sometimes getting the main hero right is as simple as understanding their parents or their mentors and in this movie his dad is so [ __ ] obsessed with clark hiding his identity that he dies for it no stop my invincible son do not save my life a core value of jonathan and martha kent is that they encourage clark to use his powers to help people but in this movie jonathan kent tells clark that he should have let children die as opposed to revealing his powers what was i supposed to do just let him die maybe what the [ __ ] can you picture aunt may or alfred saying that [ __ ] oh you should let those kids die instead of revealing your secret identity and another way that i think you can easily get people to like superman is to make lois lane work if you can do a superhero romance really well people will react well to it just look at spider-man and mary jane people [ __ ] love those two together but a lot of the spider-man movies do a really good job of making sure that the two main actors have chemistry together but this movie has more scenes of lois [ __ ] around in doing boring ass investigative journalism than scenes of her interacting with superman and i'm not saying her character has to be tethered to clark kent at all times but if this series wants us to feel anything for them we need to actually see them talking in some substantial way for instance this is the first scene of them together how romantic and it doesn't help that lois lane is probably the most [ __ ] boring character in this entire series her lines are particularly bad perry come on it's me we're talking about i'm a pulitzer prize-winning reporter who [ __ ] talks like this now you might be saying oh murky you said it's okay for movies to change stuff from the comics but sometimes you get upset when they make a change and i didn't think i'd have to explain this outright but i don't think some people get it i've always said that changes are good if they work in the context of that story i always say i like how the mandarin has changed in iron man 3 because i think for that story it makes perfect sense but then i also said that i don't like the movie version of civil war because the comic book version to me has a lot more emotional significance it's a comic book story line that was built up over a much longer period of time and i think that they should have done that with the movie version my general idea is that i'm open to change in a comic book movie if the change works i'm not one of those people who's immediately gonna write off a comic book movie because it's not accurate the aquaman movie is very different from the comic books but i think it is different in a way that works this movie feels wrong on every level because it doesn't improve superman with any of these changes the changes make him worse so superman's girlfriend doesn't work superman's parents don't work and superman himself doesn't work zod works but that's not enough these characters don't act like real people so the movie fails if i didn't know a single thing about superman this might be a little more acceptable but i think it does a really bad job at exploring this character and unfortunately this movie doesn't do anything to convince people that superman isn't a boring character the only reason this movie isn't dog [ __ ] is because it looks like a masterpiece in comparison to the next movie so 4 out of 10 let's get on to the real [ __ ] now i think batman v superman is my least favorite superhero movie of all time everything that i've ever criticized a superhero movie for is present in batman v superman plus there are some things that i didn't even know i hated until i saw this movie oh and look i can watch the ultimate edition an extra half hour of movie gee thanks mom you shouldn't have so let's dive right in so this movie introduces us to zack snyder's version of batman which i've already criticized heavily in the past [Music] i mean i guess i'd probably be a murderer too if my dad was [ __ ] negan now i should probably let you guys know that batman is in fact my second favorite superhero and i fully believe that there are some things you should never change when it comes to batman number one batman doesn't use guns number 2 batman doesn't kill people number 3 batman doesn't use [ __ ] guns to kill people god [ __ ] dammit zachary snyder somehow took superman a symbol of hope and optimism and turned him into a war criminal with no emotions so it's no surprise that his version of batman gets rid of all nuance and just distills him down to an angry punching man now if you're the kind of person who thinks batman should kill people because it's more realistic well that's okay but you and i can't be friends if you think that way his core value is that he values life above everything else because his world was shattered by a random act of violence and he wants to prevent anyone from feeling the pain that he felt that day and when people call him an anti-hero they're actually completely wrong none of this definition has anything to do with batman batman is not an anti-hero he works with [ __ ] cops he doesn't kill people and he goes out of his way to save every life he can even if it's the life of someone evil most of the time he's more of a good guy than superman but he's grumpy so people just call him an anti-hero and if you say well he's a vigilante he works outside of the law so that makes him an anti-hero well then that makes everybody a [ __ ] anti-hero superman and spider-man are anti-heroes too by that logic [ __ ] wonder woman is an anti-hero does that make sense to you because it doesn't make sense to me i think the punisher makes more sense as an anti-hero because he does things that are not good to do like [ __ ] killing people and i'm really not trying to gatekeep superheroes over here you can have different interpretations of the character but i'm just saying there are a lot of things about these characters that people ignore because movies get them wrong as well we look at spider-man and we accept the fact that he doesn't kill people because he's a cute fun guy and he's nice and if he killed people it would make us sad but batman is an old grumpy guy so people just assume he's supposed to murder people if you ask me this mentality is pretty dumb and zack snyder is one of the people who thinks this way so his batman sucks [ __ ] and we haven't even [ __ ] started the movie all right i'm gonna be here all day i guess now despite the fact that i just ranted like a madman about batman let's accept the fact that this is the version of the character that we are given for this movie i do think that this version of batman would see the destruction of metropolis get mad and swear to take down superman because like i said in the last movie superman is a [ __ ] monster and nobody would ever be on his side if this was the real world i will at least say that it's nice to see that this movie opens up with a different perspective on what we saw previously i want you to get everyone out of the building right now wait so you're telling me this guy only just now realized that evacuating is a good idea bro if i see the alien ship destroying the city two blocks away my ass is already out the building i am not dying for an unpaid internship at wayne enterprises so at the beginning of this movie the story is pretty easy to follow superman did an oopsie and committed a war crime in the last movie and now batman wants to kill him and yes you heard that right i said kill anyway now lois lane is doing some hardcore super exciting really fun to watch investigative journalism are you a terrorist general what kind of journalists would ask that question anyway to show us that this isn't your mama's superman movie jimmy olsen superman's best pal gets [ __ ] executed by terrorists we just met this guy he gets [ __ ] domed immediately if that doesn't prove to you that zack snyder hates superman i don't know what to tell you man also can i just say what the [ __ ] is this scene for we don't even know these people oh well i guess it doesn't matter we wasted all this time just to give superman a guy to kill and yes i said kill okay so it's implied that someone is trying to frame superman and make him look more violent than he is but we already know based on what these movies have shown us that he is a violent person who kills people anyway let's not worry about that let's instead look at one of the many unintentionally funny scenes of the movie good evening why is he crawling on the ceiling like spiderman so one of the things that batman likes to do in this universe is use a [ __ ] cattle iron to brand the villains like cows so that when they go to jail the other inmates know who they need to murder this kind of roundabout second hand murder is exactly what i'd expect from this version of batman so i'm not even that mad to be honest if i get mad at every single insane thing that this man does i'll probably die of a heart attack also zuckerlex is a [ __ ] joke but he's the only thing this movie that exudes any life at all he's the only thing in this movie that i can laugh at so honestly i cannot complain also now we're like 45 minutes into the movie and so far all we've seen is people in desaturated scenes talking about how shitty everything is i'm not exaggerating when i say that this is the most boring movie i have watched for this series so far we have lex luthor trying to coerce a congresswoman into giving him access to more kryptonite even though he already has kryptonite meanwhile superman is sad about people calling him a murderer and lois is sad because she's dating a murderer and all the while batman is in his [ __ ] cave planning a murder at least show me a murder so i can have something to complain about oh that's better thank you see the weird thing is in this movie both batman and lex luthor want to defeat superman it would make sense to me if zucker lex or bruce approached the other person and was like hey we don't like superman let's [ __ ] kill him but no that can't happen because lex also wants batman and superman to fight each other you may ask why well i can't tell you because i don't know anyway now batman has a dream sequence where the world is taken over by evil superman and this is where we see dream batman using a gun to kill people and people like to say oh well look to dream sequence so it doesn't really count and i'm not even joking when i say that that's still too far for me batman is the kind of guy whose inner voice refers to himself as batman the voice kept calling me bruce in my mind that's not what i call myself what do you call yourself oh yeah he is so deeply connected and devoted to his insane core values that i can't see this and think it's anything other than ridiculous also you might notice that these dream sequences are alluding to future movies even to the extent that the flash literally shows up to tell bruce what's gonna happen in the justice league sequel oh i forgot that movie's never going to happen so these scenes don't matter i gotta admit that's pretty embarrassing so anyway now superman is meeting with the wife of the criminal that batman killed earlier and yes i said kill because this movie is now trying to give superman a reason to hate batman now let me just illustrate something to you guys real quick this is a movie where batman is angry at superman because superman killed people meanwhile superman is mad at batman because batman kills people our heroes are just two murderous hypocrites that still don't learn their [ __ ] lesson by the end because the guy who made the movie doesn't think that killing is bad he thinks it's cool i can stop right there but we're only an hour into the movie next we have a scene where batman kills another dozen people and yes i said kill those guys are definitely dead that guy's dead okay now these guys these guys might be okay oh wait no no they're they're definitely dead now if they weren't dead before that that'll do it these guys these are the most dead people these these guys get killed the hardest um you know i tried to do it in that sort of um technical way uh i tried to do it like by proxy shoot the car that they're in the car blow up that counts as killing that that is murder now you guys might be wondering why i'm focusing so much on how bleak and violent this movie is this movie seems like it's trying to get us to question the idea of killing innocent people if you're a superhero to look him in his eye and ask him how he decides which lives count and which ones do not so the whole time you are being reminded by the movie that killing is bad but then meanwhile batman and superman [ __ ] kill people and not only do the events of this movie teach our heroes nothing but the next movie justice league is just goofy fun times with jokes and booyahs booyah when you compare how airtight the marvel movies are to how [ __ ] insane this [ __ ] is it's like night and day day versus night shut up we're not at that part yet anyway we've hit the halfway point of the misery olympics now and it's time for things to start happening so lex wants to get more kryptonite but elastigirl says he's not allowed to have more kryptonite so he hires one of bruce's old employees who lost his legs during the last movie's final battle so that he can sue superman for being evil lex luthor then gives that guy a cool robot wheelchair and then he blows it up in the courthouse killing everybody except superman also i love superman's reaction to witnessing the deaths of everybody in the courthouse doesn't really seem to mind that much oh and instead of staying to help the people who have just [ __ ] been bombed he flies away you don't need to be a comic book expert to know that superman would never do that oh and this is something i only noticed now editing the video but there's a scene where clark goes up into the mountains because he's really sad and he sees a vision of his ghost dad and now for some reason pog kent is using a weird voice that he wasn't using in the last movie people are afraid of what they don't understand your grandma baked me cake said i was a hero i don't know why this makes me laugh sounds like a completely different person oh and since we have to cram as much [ __ ] into this movie as possible wonder woman watches youtube videos of all the other justice league members so that we can force some sequels and spin-offs [Music] but hey now batman has the kryptonite so he decides to build an iron man suit and a bunch of kryptonite weapons so that he can [ __ ] kill superman but hold on cause things haven't even gotten crazy yet lex luthor's [ __ ] 4d chess multi-layered plan also involves taking zod's corpse mixing it with his dna and creating a monster what are you trying to accomplish i've said this before but i really don't like when a villain's plan is that he can just anticipate anything because it comes across as the plan just being [ __ ] dumb what happens if elastigirl doesn't do any of the things that you told her to do how does he know that batman has a vendetta against superman how does he know that he even wants to kill him did you [ __ ] ask him did you call him on the phone what if lois lane just pushes you off this [ __ ] building after you kidnap her and threaten to kill her what if superman doesn't save lois this one time also how do you know that mixing your blood with the corpse of an alien will resurrect it and turn it into a monster nobody told you that you might think that these questions would be answered in the extended edition but they're not he also tells superman hey i kidnapped your mom and you're never gonna be able to save her or i'll kill her why doesn't superman just go save his mom he could do it like really super fast we saw him do it in this movie with lois lane earlier i seriously feel like i'm losing my mind listening to this man talk he wants to expose superman but he also wants to kill him and also make him do his bidding you can't have all of those things do you know that whatever doesn't matter it's time to fight time to have the battle that the movie's named after pow pew pew bion oh no batman's losing time to use a smoke bomb to trick the man who has x-ray vision so [ __ ] stupid oh look now batman's winning because he farted on superman and this scene really reads like it was made by someone who greatly prefers batman over superman pow pow bonk batman wins the fight it's dumb i'm not gonna waste any more time on it however right before batman uses the magic alien spear to execute superman the dumbest [ __ ] in the movie happens superman in his dying moments refers to his mother by her first name which causes batman to realize oh my gosh he's literally me who the [ __ ] refers to their mother by their first name especially as your final words before you are being killed this is the one thing that stops batman's murder quest cold turkey he switches to being superman's [ __ ] best friend so fast that i thought i missed a scene of them actually reconciling all it took was superman's mom having the same name it is truly the dumbest [ __ ] that this movie could have pulled martha won't die tonight stop saying martha it just sounds wrong now martha martha martha anyway it's time for the only scene of the movie that i unironically enjoy i've praised this scene before i honestly just can't hate it because whenever i watch it i just pretend that it's a really quick batman short film where batman just beats up some guys and i think it's actually the only cool movie batman fight scene yeah he's being brutal he's kind of skirting the line of what is and isn't murder but i just need something exciting okay please let me have this i also kind of like that he gets his ass kicked in this fight like they use his cape against him one guy tries to [ __ ] shoot him in the head but i should clarify that i like this scene up until he beats the last guy in the room because after this cool well-choreographed fight scene we are reminded that this is a bad movie because batman ends the scene by using a gun to kill a man this is disgusting this is awful in every way and even though the movie feels like it should be ending soon we actually have 40 minutes left so it's time to throw in a new villain in the last quarter of the movie and this is officially where the movie enters the realm of being too stupid to be forgiven this movie has officially become a bad video game there's not even anything i can say about this they're just slamming into each other and then wonder woman shows up and she slams into him and then batman watches because he's just a regular guy she with you i thought she was with you what you've met her batman she's your friend you're the one who knows her you know who she is also i love that on two separate occasions we have to have characters say that the places they're fighting in are abandoned strikers island east of metropolis that's uninhabited why did you bring him back to the city the port is abandoned because we can't make fun of this movie please don't make fun of my movie see the final battle didn't kill any innocent people but innocent people did die in that scene and in that scene and in that scene and in that scene and in that scene but not in the final battle so you can't make fun of me anymore oh and while this fight is happening lois is literally just off periodically almost dying lois [ __ ] go away how many times are you gonna get yourself killed it's kind of a joke how prone you are to danger so to kill the video game final boss clark goes and he lands the finishing blow at the magic spear he tells lois that he loves her and we feel nothing because they still don't feel like they're in a relationship because we haven't seen them [ __ ] talking to each other yet and stop at the quick zooms i thought we were done with that so yeah superman totally dies like for real not clickbait and the civilians that hate him mourn his death and the guy who only knew him for an hour mourns his death i failed him dude you tried to stab him to death in a dirty warehouse you weren't [ __ ] friends also it's really funny that the newspaper says superman dead and also clark kent random guy that nobody knows is also dead so yeah after that lex luthor gets exiled to the realm of not being allowed to be in a movie ever again and batman threatens to brand him like a cow and send him to arkham asylum to be murdered just to remind you that batman did not learn his lesson anyway the movie's over now and i feel dead inside it blows my mind that there are people who watch this movie and like it because i'm not lying when i say that i hope i go the rest of my life without ever seeing this movie again i hate it i am not lying when i say that this movie is only given any credit because of a single fight scene and when i say this is my least favorite superhero movie i'm still not saying it's the worst yes i understand that this is becoming a joke at this point but this is still not the worst superhero movie ever made it's just the one that i personally cannot stand you can't even enjoy this movie as a joke and that's why i don't like it i can watch daredevil and catwoman any day because those movies are hilarious they're basically comedies at this point batman v superman does not have any redeeming qualities it is not fun to watch and that's why i personally hate it the most and yeah what really [ __ ] with me is that while i hate this movie the most personally it still isn't the worst movie so for now i'm gonna give batman v superman dawn of justice a two out of ten [Music] [Music] foreign

Channel: The Cosmonaut Variety Hour

Views: 3,509,994

Keywords: Why it sucks, review

Id: _MwVuay1WD8

Length: 40min 39sec (2439 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 01 2020