Death Note (2017) - Why it Sucks

the Netflix deathnote movie is hot garbage yeah it's really bad I know most people expected it to be bad all anime movies are bad all anime movies will be bad for the rest of recorded history guess what guys I liked this movie because it's animated if you take that away I won't like it as much I don't I don't understand why they don't get it anyway I watched this movie knowing that I was probably going to get mad but holy [ __ ] it is so incompetent I was surprised at how messy and inconsistent a movie can be it's been a while since I got this upset now originally I was gonna approach this video as a review of the movie for people who haven't watched the anime or read the manga I was gonna see if this movie worked as a standalone experience spoilers it doesn't so then I realized that ignoring the original series is impossible in this case the movie literally takes elements from the original series and just makes them worse so if the movies gonna be that awful then yeah I'm gonna compare them now I'm still not gonna rely on comparisons between the two but there are some parts where I am NOT gonna be able to help myself I'm gonna try my best to explain why this movie sucks all on its own now you guys know that I like to start off my rants by talking about the stuff that I liked I like to give everything to benefit of the doubt so what did I like in this movie not really a lot of things I like this one scene right here [Music] now I'm looking for this guy shut the [ __ ] up that was probably the only time that the movie intentionally made me laugh I was still laughing though believe me but not because it wanted me to what else did I like I liked that it wasn't two hours all right so let's go to the stuff that I didn't like now when you start this movie you might originally think okay so this isn't really that bad it's not very good but it's not like offensive either it's not awful but then you get to the halfway point of this film and [ __ ] just gets crazy so let's start with the first half of the movie the problem with this section is that the pacing is way off at the two-minute mark light has the death though at 8 minutes in he meets Rhee uke a short while later he kills his first person and then shortly after that he gets a girlfriend this [ __ ] speeds up way too fast I understand that they have to cram all this content into this movie within an hour and 40 minutes but with the writing so rushed you never get time to actually learn anything about ryu mia or even life we've met all the core characters at this point but we don't really know anything about them there's some brief moments where we see Ryu light and Mia all in the same scene and it starts to get kind of interesting if we had more time to flesh out these characters this movie wouldn't be nearly as bad I'm not saying make the movie longer though don't do that please don't make this movie two hours I'm saying make this a show spend more time fleshing out the relationship between these two characters spend some time making your main character likeable and relatable in some way you spend this whole movie not really knowing anybody that well and you hate everybody just about equally so light has the Death Note he has a girlfriend he has a demon following him so now he's like a super murderer and he decides to come up with a name for himself now in the original series here was a name given to light by his followers kind of a cult status in this movie his reasoning for picking this name is this it also sort of means killer and Japanese so they're gonna be looking for him it's gonna be on the wrong continent that's really dumb this is the first point in the movie when you're gonna realize that the logic of this film doesn't really make a lot of sense that is a really really dumb idea but here's the thing guys his dumb idea actually works the cops actually think he's [ __ ] Japanese when L first gets introduced he's like hey guys guess what I'm super smart and I can find Kira because guess what I know a secret Kira isn't really Japanese yes vii thinks the killer is operating out of Japan but the name is an intentional misdirection hi I'm Captain Obvious that's what you've figured out that's the first thing you're gonna reveal to us that doesn't make you look very smart that makes you look even dumber than light and that's saying a lot also in case you didn't know in the original series L likes to eat sweets he's kind of like a man-child and it's just like a cute character court but in this movie they decided to give him a reason for why he eats [ __ ] candy insulin spike from the candies would focus your mind for final consideration when it fades you asleep for one hour what [ __ ] L doesn't need a reason to eat sweets he doesn't need one they don't explain why Ryu likes apples that's something that the original series does here's the thing Ryu cliking apples is weird enough to warrant explanation plus not only is this explanation unnecessary it also makes no sense sweets can't keep you awake for 48 hours the movie is just starting to not make sense but it's gonna get way worse later on believe me I'd also like to point out that while this movie isn't shot poorly it does have some noticeable moments of bad editing assistant director POTUS did huh detect just now we need to contact every FBI agent on their team uh-huh boy it's not just seen in the cuts or the audio mixing it feels like this movie is straight-up missing scenes like I swear that there are a lot of things that would have been explained a lot better but they probably got cut for some reason there's a lot of indications of this for instance Ryu says that he's disappointed in light and he advised him earlier to get rid of the Death Note I asked politely but you didn't hear me let the note go look at the strife that's causing you and your low girlfriend but he never actually did that he said it was an option for light to get rid of the Death Note but he never suggested that light actually do it in fact he did the opposite he coerced light into using the Death Note now he says that he wanted light to give it up that's kind of weird you never said that another time is in the scene when L and Light meet for the first time oh you're the guy you're a help well that's weird how would you know his name is L why is it L more surprised that light knows his name right away so basically what I'm saying is if you're actually paying attention when you watch this movie you just get punished also real quick I'd like to talk about what's happening in this scene first of all a majority of the original series consists of L in light playing an intricate cat-and-mouse chase when L first confronts light he does it by being friendly to him he even invites him to help in the investigation to find Kira because he thinks it's more important to have him close to him he says that yeah he's like five percent sure that light is Kira but he isn't aggressive about it because that's not how you form an investigation even when he says directly that light is a suspect he lies to him and he says he's only one percent sure despite him having established to the audience that it's actually around five percent he's subtle in his approach every line shared between the two are part of their plots against each other it's been a while but at one time I was actually the British junior champion I asked him if he's British would he think I'm trying to find out more about him because I'm Kira so how does the movie treat their first interaction Elle confronts light in a restaurant he straight up just says I know you're Kira I'm a hundred percent sure then they start yelling at each other this is not how you interrogate somebody this man is straight-up foolish but just this foolish is the fact that light doesn't even hide that he's Kira the movie wants you to believe that light is smart but the second he's confronted he starts cracking under pressure so who's Dumber in this scene I guess everybody's dumb that's cool great anyway light just leaves the restaurant because why wouldn't you and he finds Mia is in front of his house in the rain wanting to apologize for wanting to kill his dad in an earlier scene yeah she wanted to kill his dad she wants to murder everybody but it's never really explained why so we're not gonna worry about it and then she says this this is honestly one of the most shocking moments in the film for me because I forgot that she was a cheerleader I'm not bothered by her because she's around all the time I'm honestly more bothered because I don't know her why is she an edgy murderer why is she so evil she wants to kill lights dad at the drop of a hat oh she likes violent movies okay she likes violent movies whatever so do I so do a lot of people who aren't murderers this is the only development or background we get on this person she gets more screen time than ryu k-- rebukes not even in the [ __ ] movie most of the time also I should bring up that light shows her the death note the second he starts talking to her are you truly the dumbest son of a [ __ ] in the world in the original series light builds this booby-trapped drawer in his desk that will probably set his whole room on fire if anybody tries to Jimmy it open and find the Death Note in this movie light shows it off to the first girl that he meets he even leaves it around to get stolen now remember this is the character that they want us to think is super super smart so all this stuff is bad but it's not the that bad but then things take a huge turn when light decides to brainwash Elle's manservant Watari this is where the movie completely loses any structure or consistency that it might have possessed in the first place so light decides to use the Death Note to brainwash Watari into getting ELLs real name from this database or whatever so you can use the Death Note to manipulate somebody for 48 hours before they die but light doesn't want Watari to die for some reasons so he decides to burn watarase page right after he gets the information that he wants apparently one of the rules in this movie is that you can burn someone's page and you'll stop them from dying okay first of all the rule about burning the page makes no [ __ ] sense Luke says you only get to save one person by doing this so what happens if you burn a page with a bunch of names on it y'all have been riding way more than one name on these [ __ ] pages that rule makes no sense ruk secondly how the [ __ ] did light mind control Watari without knowing his full name the film establishes that you need the full name of a person that you're going to kill he just writes down what sorry you're telling me that his name was just Watari like he has a one name one name who are you seal okay so he has one name [ __ ] whatever now that implies that L is the biggest [ __ ] idiot in the whole world he hides his identity he doesn't use his real name but he lets his [ __ ] adoptive father walk around with his name and face known by everybody he's literally handing his name to people and he says he's pretty sure that light is Kira so he can assume that Kira can get information from the police because lights dad has met Watari light could easily get the name and face of Watari so when Watari goes missing and you realize that this wasn't Elle's plan at all he starts going [ __ ] crazy forced me to do the same he goes absolutely [ __ ] insane it is so inconsistent when considering how he's been acting up until this point again if you're ignoring the original series and you're just going off the logic that this movie has established you'll see just how many inconsistencies exist for instance light all of a sudden doesn't want to kill Watari he never actually says why so I guess we're left to assume that maybe he doesn't want to kill people who haven't done bad things he says he'd kill anybody who has sex with Mia though he says he'll kill Elle even though L hasn't done anything evil so uh so which is it also why didn't what Ari finish what he was saying before he died what happens is he starts reading the information that light brainwashed him into finding but then he stops talks to these cops and dies he was instructed only to do what he was told and he didn't even do that much did you just write in the Death Note what sorry finds the information and reads it to light but if anyone breaks in and interrupts him he has to stop in the middle of his sentence and die so anyway a bunch of [ __ ] happens that isn't important and the light learns that Mia has been using the Death Note behind his back and that she's a super evil crazy psycho person but then she also says that she wrote his name down and that he's gonna have to give her the book like make her the permanent owner of the Death Note so that she can burn his page and spare his life but then she gets to keep the Death Note also her plan doesn't make any sense you guys said that you need seven days to pass the book on it's only been two days I've been keeping track this [ __ ] is so vague so I can just give the Death Note to somebody and bypass the 7-day rule Ryoka said many times that if light doesn't want the Death Note anymore he has to just leave it somewhere for seven days you see what I mean when I say this [ __ ] feels like it's missing scenes so anyway now light is running to the ferris wheel so he can meet Mia and they can have their exchange of the Death Note I'll get to why this is stupid in a moment but first we have a stupid chasing so L is chasing light because he's upset that Watari died l steals a [ __ ] police car drives around Seattle like a madman and somehow he finds light running around downtown what the [ __ ] how did he find him Seattle's pretty [ __ ] big how did he find him by erratically driving through the streets and screaming like a maniac l in light are also explicitly going out of their way to wreak havoc during this chase it is cartoonishly chaotic you might think okay light is obviously trying to throw things in the way and make it harder for L to pursue him but there's even a point in the chase where the mess that light made is the only reason that L gets to follow him plus L is creating even more chaos that light is so anyway after the chase scene light and Mia meet on the ferris wheel that they had a date on earlier in the movie and if this [ __ ] wasn't already dumb it's about to get drop-dead stupid literally so when you first watch this scene you may ask a few questions why did they meet at the ferris wheel wouldn't this be a pretty dumb place to get cornered you have absolutely no escape route how did she beat him to the ferris wheel how did the police know where to find them also why are there like a hundred cops the cops were sent to do two things this Detective turn every ability for the individual no no he should be considered armed and dangerous and I want my son Peter protective custody until he's located one apprehend el because he's dangerous and crazy and to escort light to safety well the cops found el after the stupid chase scene so why are there a million of them here at the ferris wheel also why are they wearing riot gear don't worry the movie apparently has a reason for all this [ __ ] except for the reason why there are so many fully armed police officers there there's actually no reason for that so Mia is like [ __ ] you give me the Death Note and she steals it from him and then we get the reveal that he wrote that she would die if she took the Death Note from him huh since when can you cue up a death like that we're never shown that you can have these conditional deaths before that if X happens then this person will die that wasn't established at all okay whatever so now they're both [ __ ] and they fall to their deaths and die except light didn't die because he fell in the [ __ ] water oh don't worry I'm gonna get to it by the way l is just at the ferris wheel also I'd like to point that out remember how he was approached by the police remember how they're supposed to keep him away from light yeah he's just here now no explanation so then light wakes up in a hospital because apparently he was in a coma don't worry I'm getting to it and then his dad comes up and he's like hey I figured out that your cure because it's actually really [ __ ] obvious and then light reveals he's a grand master plan and it's the dumbest [ __ ] plan in the whole movie so let me see if I got all this right so light used the Death Note to make everything and I mean everything happened the way it did so he made it so that the ferris wheel would get destroyed that's insane but whatever I'll go with it that's actually the least crazy thing that happens here then Mia grabs the page with his name on it throws it in a fire in midair and then dies herself he actually wrote this [ __ ] down to happen just like that I am not kidding so light can also manipulate what a [ __ ] piece of paper does while describing how someone dies what if there was no fire nearby in mind that ryuk says something has to be physically possible for it to happen if your plan was to [ __ ] kill her all along why did you need to make this clause where her death begins when she takes the death note from you why didn't you just write her name down right away then say that she burns her page before she dies then if you don't want her to die just burn her page after that you don't need to start this elaborate chase through the city and die on a ferris wheel there are so many easier methods than this so what was the point of all this [ __ ] oh it's because he needs a reason to clear his name oh but light listen listen light listen to me listen buddy I don't know if you know this but the cops don't think you're Kira I should also point out that light literally writes down in Mia's description of death that he survives the fall okay that makes no sense you should not be able to defy the laws of physics in the details of someone else's death I should also mention one more time that reeks says things have to be physically possible so light writes in that some guy who like assaults people or whatever would rescue him put him in a coma for two days while another criminal being controlled by light grabs the death note and writes names down in it while light is in a coma so this is supposed to clear lights name since he won't be a suspect if the people are dying while he's in a coma now we established earlier that if a person being controlled by the Death Note doesn't know something they can't go do that thing Watari couldn't tell light information that he didn't know so how would this random schmuck go find the Death Note something that he doesn't know exists in the river without knowing where it was that's not the rules that's straight-up not the rules you even told me that now you know what [ __ ] you like I said light is not a suspect at all he doesn't need to do any of this [ __ ] to clear his name only el thinks he's a suspect and all the cops [ __ ] hate him why are you so adamant about clearing your name when you're not really in any [ __ ] trouble there's one [ __ ] chasing you man why was this entire convoluted plan even necessary and anybody who was on Elle's task force was killed by Mia so there's nobody who thinks that light is Kira also at the end of the movie Elle breaks into lights house and finds a page from The Death Note and they tease the fact that he might write lights name in the Death Note hold on a second oh boy here's the thing why would L even think of writing lights name in the notebook without knowing how it works how would he know okay so this magical piece of paper is how light has been killing people the people on the list are dead sure but if you went into someone's room and saw this your mind would not immediately think this paper is magical and writing these names down will kill that person how the [ __ ] did he come up with that so Elle has only seen one thing that says that someone's gonna die and that person isn't dead so why would he assume that the paper is how people are getting killed but it's okay because we never actually see if he does it or not because it's left ambiguous but then we get to the part of the movie that made me just bust out laughing I'm gonna show you guys how this movie actually ends [Music] humans are so interesting it seems like an accident it feels like this movie had another part after that but the editor just forgot to put it in even lights face at the last second it's like wait are we really gonna cut here are you sure you want to end the movie like that and to top it all off the credits have behind the scenes footage and bloopers in them yeah I'm not [ __ ] kidding this pulls you out of a movie so hard this is acceptable in comedy or family films where the tone is a bit lighter but in a supernatural mystery thriller this is not the last impression that you want to leave on your audience here's the thing now you know some of the scenes in this movie are kind of goofy right most of it feels like it's kind of intentionally silly now what if the movie was originally supposed to be a black comedy what if it was fully aware of the silliness and it was just playing it up that would kind of explain a lot of this stuff sometimes it feels like the movie just isn't for real it's really goofy when light and me have fall off the ferris wheel and that cheesy music starts playing I started thinking about how genius it would be if this was just a [ __ ] up spoof of a love story now they're basically psychopathic horny teenagers that would actually be an interesting idea for a movie cut out ryu and just play on the idea of these two manipulating each other all while saying how much they love each other a black comedy romance oh wait that movie already exists it's called Heather's and it's actually [ __ ] good so I'm not gonna say Oh fans of the series should really watch this movie for a good laugh no just go watch Heather's I don't care go watch anything else this movie is just a waste of time stop making anime movies the fact that this movie left itself open for a sequel [ __ ] pisses me off don't watch this movie and make this studio think that people actually liked it please don't because the last thing we need is a sequel to [Music]

Channel: The Cosmonaut Variety Hour

Views: 4,989,648

Keywords: cosmonaut variety hour, cosmonaut, commentary, death note, netflix, movie, anime, review, why it sucks

Id: Dl6btU2QgHI

Length: 24min 5sec (1445 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 02 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/[deleted]]

Death Note is one of those properties that is hard to translate into a movie. Netflix had the perfect platform to make it into a series too.

[u/azelnorth]

This shit sucked so much

[u/IM_ALL_THAT_IS_MAN]

if you have a why it sucks youtube channel you must look at everything through a suck lens. some existence. if I had a youtube review channel it would be called why I found it pretty entertaining and enjoyed it instead of chewing rabbit poop.