BARGAIN BINGE (A Random TERRIBLE Movie Review)

this video is sponsored by Ray Khan over the past few years I've been gathering quite the collection of what I presume to be awful animated movies I mean just take a look for yourself who wants to watch Zhu Zhu Pets the quest for Zhu why is the cover sticky now most of these films have come from the goodwill or thrift stores stuff that most people don't want and just throw away but that's where I come in I proudly introduce to you all my new series for this channel bargain Benj a show where I randomly pick a film from my bad movie shelf and review it yes folks this is a completely original idea that's never been done before and for our premiere episode we are going to check out God a ripoff Oh already Oh fine we're gonna watch golden entertainments The Hunchback of Notre Dom damn it this was a bad idea why did I do this it's a stupid serious bite I should review more furry characters that always works my channel calls me a furry but they like the furry stuff it's not my fault all right so who's behind this movie unfortunately for us the origin of this movie is short so let's just rip this band-aid off and get it over with the studio responsible for this film is golden entertainment - okay also known as golden films founded in 1988 by Diane Eskenazi wait hold on a second that name sounds familiar the writers for this movie are Cindy McKay and Diana s cannot see who oh my god no so from what I could gather Diane was driving force behind the studio and pushed hard when it came to ripping off other popular movies Disney Don Bluth films just everything it even got so bad that Disney actually sued them and get this they lost the court ruled that both parties were using sources that were from the same pool of public domain stuff as in fairy tales The Hunchback Beauty and the Beast these were all public domain so no harm no foul still scummy as hell though ah yes check out this filmography the legend of Atlantis young Tarzan of the Apes a tale of Egypt all original stories that were totally not made-up because other popular Studios were making their own films about each respective topic not one bit what are you talking about total coincidence they weren't ripping off other popular studios I have no idea what you're saying for over 16 years Diane squeezed everything she could out of these ripoffs but the studio came to an end in 2004 good riddance go to your corner with dingo pictures [Music] so what's the movie about oh what's that you you want a story that makes sense a beginning that establishes the characters and the narrative well too bad you're not getting that enjoy this abrupt musical number instead [Music] yeah that guy's it's obvious Disney's Hunchback has nothing on this one dance to the music this movie is a fever dream of edits day night day night day night and the same animation used over and over and over who are these characters where are we with the win are we help me do they collect once more this movie just inexplicably throws everything at you you're already confused with what's going on oh maybe we're in the 15th century I mean that's when the book takes place but then some random kid wearing modern-day clothes just runs across the screen and disappears what who was that why was he wearing oh no no I'm gonna lose it guys if I keep asking logical questions I am going to lose it okay so let's try and get back on track there's Quasimodo and his bat sidekicks and open ever mind I guess we're done with this scene we don't even get to see our main character we barely see any of him throughout the first half of the movie we barely see him in any of the movie I will get to that in a moment oh by the way enjoy the bat sidekicks I guess they're the replacements for the gargoyles I don't know but they're like they sound like jazz guys I illegitimate Lea do not know what's going on here this series was a bad idea why did I think I should pick random bad movies from thrift stores thinking that this would be a good idea I should stop the video right now thanks for watching folks bye [Music] fine I'll see this through so now we meet the villain of the film not Gaston trademarked that he's definitely against a law I don't get this guy he's like looks like he's got the moustache of Captain Hook he's got the chiseled body of Gaston is he supposed to be Frollo who are you bro we're in France I believe but he sounds like he's Spanish his name's jean-claude and yet they're playing Carmen which I'm pretty sure as a Spanish music hole in the background I have no idea guys I have no idea what's going on there are so many mixed messages and different types of tone in this movie it's I have no idea I have no idea I've no idea what's your leave I just want to stop recording right now guys I smell leave right now and go don't watch something that's good if I citizens do not work they will not touch this well jean-claude here is the law around this town and he forbids anything that breaks the law and that includes magic he and his sidekicks go into town and confront melody who I guess is supposed to be as Murrell de I don't know guys just so you know this movie came out before Disney's so they don't have the luxury of watching Disney's film and ripping off certain points maybe they had the poster or the trailer and that's where they got their inspiration or lack thereof the only similarities between the Disney film and this one is Quasimodo and the towers of nutri Dom that's it that is it no Esmeralda no Frollo no gargoyles it's just quasi and even then they got that wrong I'll explain here in the beds so jean-claude van damme goes into town tells Asma tells melody yo you can't be doing magic that's against the law anything that breaks the law is against the law his words not mine and then we discovered that melody here has magical talking instruments do we get an explanation no no we do not all we're told really is that melody is magical we don't know how why when where what we don't know we don't we don't know this movie doesn't tell us anything but I do know this these talking instruments are so incredibly annoying there are way too many of them there's like an accordion a tambourine a cello the cello stick I know music these these are all clambers I guess is what they're called I don't know they look like beheaded bird heads it's just guys they're way too many side characters and there's way too much of a lack of explanation of why they even exist they're just there and here's the worst part these side characters talk more in the movie than the main characters that is non exaggeration that is a fact when you you barely see quasi melody barely talks jean-claude van damme talks a little bit but these side characters talk more than anybody else which kind of you know defeats the purpose of calling them side characters at this point they're basically the main characters hold on we're about to go into Maximum Overdrive I gotta get my strength for this one so quasi randomly shows up tells the villain named jean-claude to back off jean chases the villagers around melody runs to the church shouting out sanctuary Jean then kidnaps Melody's mom I guess we don't even told that really then we're told that jean claude and quasi are half-brothers okay this all happens by the way within 10 minutes of the film again this film's pacing goes super slow and then just immediately hits you with like major things out of nowhere all at once what the hell yes yes melody then meets quasi who let's be real here doesn't really look that bad when it comes to being a hunchback I actually watched this movie with a bunch of friends and one of my friends Sarah she said you know he doesn't really seem like he has any kind of deformity here he looks like he's got bad posture and that's it you're not a regular so melody and quasi literally fall in love right on the spot and then we immediately get a love song which oddly enough sounds a lot like a Christmas song listen for yourself tell me I'm wrong [Music] melody then sees her mom's donkey deducts that her mother was kidnapped somehow finds out where her mother is her mother is dancing with a bunch of barn animals though she could possibly be doing more with the barn animals from the sounds coming from her body but oh my god it was a trap jean-claude van damme shows up he takes melody he says guess what you're getting executed and melody is like well that's a bummer she doesn't even fight back she's kind of like what what can you do I'm gonna be executed what can you do even the moms the same way it's like we had a good run there so far Jake at the notion that the daughters being put to death it's like oh well these things happen so melody is taken to prison she's thrown into jail she's up shut the [ __ ] up right now it is song time yes song time when I'm in jail and death row you know why why do I want to sing I want to bring things to life I want to uncover a secret cat that's been hiding in my room and sing a song I really should not have had alcohol before recording this video that was a bad idea all right song time and here we are folks climax of the movie you ready so it turns out that Jean here has a case of the big dumb because he decides that he will not execute melody until the bells ring from nutria Dom okay the instruments then run up the staircase tell Kwazii don't ring the bells and then Kwazii runs to the rescue and saves melody from Jean and then folks and then why can't you bring stress this enough I'm gonna go crazy here one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen in a movie ever happens on the spot quasi who is established as being a hunchback people even call him that he's covering his face and then melody is like what's wrong and then inexplicably quasi is normal are you all right [Music] beautiful eyes what he's handsome he looks completely different his hunchback is gone what no legitimately there's no explanation it just happens there's no reason why this happened and it is so hypocritical cuz Melody's like I like you anyway even if you think you're not handsome oh well that's really difficult when the guys actually handsome now is it it doesn't make sense it doesn't make sense it does not make sense just perhaps my looks really don't matter anymore okay so kwazii's handsome id-ff laughs and then we get a random song which to me felt like this song was leading into the outro of the movie psych no it did not despite this crazy dance number which we speed up from slow to fast that one okay this song number took place right before quasi confronted Jean so it doesn't really make sense from a narrative point of view of the sequences of this film kwazii's ugly then he's handsome outro song number just joking we're going right back to the steps where quasi then confronts Jean what's that doesn't make sense that's like Sam and Frodo hanging from Mount Doom and then we cut to the end of Lord of the Rings and then we cut right back to Mount Doom it doesn't make sense I keep saying that in this video maybe that should be the title of the new series it doesn't make sense and you want to know what else does it make sense they get married right afterwards Kwazii and melody are at the chapel they've got some crazy dance numbers quasi throws down the ultimate dance number you can't even compare and that's the movie dance-off [Music] you so I'm just gonna do the same thing I do with my what the hell videos the five-point summary cuz it works and why not first the story this movie has some of the worst pacing I've ever seen there are moments where it goes a million miles an hour and then there are other moments where it just slows down and nothing happens I am convinced that this movie had no story to go with that it's all the poster for Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dom and said just make some animated stuff and then we'll put it together and make a movie whatever here's seven dollars get to work but legit this story does such a poor job of establishing anything it's like oh we're in France we are near no trade DOM here is an establishing shot of nutri Dom but I feel like the outside of the church the Cathedral has nothing to do with the book of the Hunchback of Notre Dom that they just said we've got quasi we got no Joe Dom that's enough just do whatever you want no Esmeralda no Frollo not even a hunchback technically quasi in this movie is technically not even a hunchback why even call it The Hunchback of Notre Dom you should call it the quote/unquote Hunchback of nutri Dom but yeah this movie is empty empty when it comes to its story empty with its characters empty across the board I feel nothing when I watch this film only frustration there is nothing to establish the characters their motives where they begin where the story takes them and how they grow where did melody get her magic that could be at least interesting oh wait no nevermind screw you we're just gonna go forward and leave you in the dust why is jean-claude so angry why does he want to outlaw all of this stuff never mind screw you we're not find out Kwasi once more and this is the biggest sin of the movie he's not even a hunchback so yeah this movie just doesn't care it never cared the writers just wanted to get a paycheck they probably pounded this script out in one hour and said all right we're done let's go we got 26 other movies to rip off let's go already the side characters by the way there are way too many of them five bats I think like five instruments the sidekick of jean-claude you've got way too many sidekicks and here's the kicker they talk more than the main characters we barely see Quasimodo at all in this movie there's like 30 minutes where I think we see him once for like two seconds and that's it so this movie doesn't even focus on the characters who are deserving of it instead it's like let's just buy some time with some mindless prattle from these side characters because we have no idea what we're doing and then worst of all the conclusion Quasimodo in the original movie which again I acknowledge that the movie came out after this one for Disney quasi did not end up with as Morell de forgive me I don't know how the book actually ended if I recall it was pretty dark but quasi and the Disney movie never ended up with the girl they were just friends but he was accepted back into society that despite his deformity he can still be accepted by other human beings and not be seen as a monster in this movie he becomes handsome on the spot for no reason whatsoever so the payoff not even there it's it's like okay quasi instead of you overcoming your birth defects and becoming who you are through your personality and your hardships no instead you just become instantly hands on the spot because you know screw everything else up we people you suck just leave oh that includes me doesn't it next there's the voice acting I love that the voice actors legitimately did not care when I hear them talk and record it seems that they're like let's just get paid and leave ham it up who cares this movie sucks we all know it let's just get this over with and it's interesting because the voice actors themselves aren't even listed in the credits I looked on IMDB they're not listed there now a friend of mine she looked into it and she said oh I think cam Clark is the voice of quasi to which I can hear it it does sound similar but it's like don't you dare put my name on this movie I'll voice for you but don't you Sully my good name by putting my name on your credits don't even try oh and also according to this website John Hurt was the voice of Jean Claude I don't believe that for a second I do not detect his voice John Hurt is a masterful voice actor of the ages why would he waste his time on this movie I don't believe that not for a moment do I believe that and if it is true then that's hilarious the security of this nation depends on complete and total compliance you see dancing is illegal singing is illegal then there's the dialog but what if magic sir is it forbidden as well yeah pretty bad after that the editing this is some of the worst editing I've ever seen for a film and I don't know who to blame him exactly was it the writers the animators the editors how can you go from day-to-night day-to-night day-to-night and one song number that doesn't make sense who am I supposed to blame here one of you all of you and also the pacing as I said before is way too quick and then switches over to being incredibly slow once more I don't know who to blame though I do realize that editors have the power to shorten things down and help the pacing of the movie so in a way you can ultimately blame the editors though at the same time I feel like they stretch this film out trying to make it to where it's a certain length which is shameless and by doing so they reuse the same shots over and over again this one dance number with around the fire pit they do that five times in this movie no excuse absolutely no excuse well when it comes to quality if you're trying to be cheap and scummy oh by all means continue oh and don't even get me started on the sound effects it's like they had their own library of already existing sound effects and they're like throw it all in just all of it just go for I don't care he's touching his mustache make it go why not we got it let's use it immediately and finally we have the animation so the way I see it folks is when I review bad animated movies I compare it to going down through certain circles of hell I've been down to like the ninth layer of hell but I would put this around like the third layer of hell where it's like a layer of hell where like you are constantly stubbing your toe but the ninth layer is like you're being skinned alive all the time so yeah I put it in the third layer I've seen worse God knows I've seen worse that being said this movie is still off I'm still technically in hell just the third layer by the by clip repetitive animation boring colors boring backgrounds animation errors out the ass look at his head look at her arm look this guy's changing colors look they're speeding up the frame rates just so they can make them dance faster okay why not [Music] it's just everything is so boring to look at it is awful once more I've seen worse I have seen worse that being said this is still an ugly movie and it's not worth spending your time on check it out guys I have my own original villain not guest on remember I told you all it's not guest on not even close what are you talking about they don't even look alike shut up that's the same picture the movement of the characters is jarring you've got animation that again slows down speeds up look at this guy's runs right across the screen look at the frames on this character they're barely moving at all if there was a word that could define this movie it would be this in consistent boom there you go that's how I would describe this movie and consistent and janky and I guess an abomination and ugly and stupid and I hate it and I hate it and I hate it alright so how would I improve the film can't just be making insults and critiquing it without offering something that could help lift it up so I would give it this I would say that this movie call me crazy this might be insane I think it needs a story being such a smartass but legitimately it needs a story give me characters who I care for give me reasons of why they are where they are who they are what they want and where they are going you don't offer anything really and you just expect us to pay attention and to care for these empty flat boring characters who mean nothing to me I think a 5th grader could write a better story with more meaningful characters and a story here's the thing though you've got the [ __ ] book why wouldn't you use the book read it use that inspiration if you're gonna use the public domain but no you use the likeness of quasi and nutria Dom and that's it you had your source you don't even talk about it god damn this is stupid so yeah I'd say write a consistent story use the source material do something to make characters that are interesting and worth watching outside of that there's the obvious better animation try not to repeat it too much I understand there are some times you do and that can be acceptable but not when it's five times over you cross the line right there and try to explain things that are worth explaining magic is one of those things you can't just present that and expect the audience to just immediately understand especially when this girl is in a jail cell making bricks come to life how please give me something to work with movie I would love that so yeah this was a terrible film this was a terrible idea I don't know why I thought bargain binge would be a good idea for a series this was a massive mistake I should never have done this I should stop right now there will never be a bargain binge episode two you cannot force me we are done thanks for watching and if you want to send me more bad movies send it to my PA box just kidding don't because we are done just kidding we're not because apparently I hate myself alright see you all next time when it comes to sponsors I make sure to only promote products and services that are legit things that are of quality and that I would personally use and folks I recommend rakin earbuds believe me I had my own doubts when it came to wireless earbuds but Ray Khan won me over I use them when I'm walking my dog doing chores around the house where doing workouts in my gym not like a fancy gym it's like a workout binge in my garage but trust me it is so worth it no longer do I have to deal with wires in my arms and in my faces I can now lift weights freely and that is so worth it also I appreciate how stylish they look and they fit well in my ears too they also come with earbud adjustments to get a fit that is perfect for you who's also recharging case 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Channel: Saberspark

Views: 975,408

Rating: 4.966414 out of 5

Keywords: saberspark, saber, bargain binge, random movie review, terrible movie, golden films, the hunchback of notre dame, disney, episode 1, ripoff, disney ripoff, disney rip-off, rip-off

Id: 0uCAhSZcJq0

Length: 33min 10sec (1990 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 24 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/thekidboi2]

yakiee with no brim.