>>> HI, I'M JOYCE CHILDERS AND I
AM MAKING THIS VIDEO IN ORDER TO AUDITION FOR THE GUEST HOST
POSITION AT QVC. AND AS YOU CAN SEE WE ARE IN MY
CLOSET BECAUSE MY FORTE IS -- CLOSET -- UH -- ORGANIZATION.
IN CLOSET. AND I AM REALIZING RIGHT NOW
THAT MY PANTIES ARE ALL BEHIND MY HEAD.
AND NOW I LOOK LIKE A PANTY ADDICT.
THANKS, JOE. >> WHAT?
I THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD. >> JOE, NOW YOU'RE IN MY SHOT,
JUST DO IT AGAIN. PLEASE, LET'S DO IT AGAIN.
>> HI. I'M CHRISTIE BERKIE.
AND THIS IS MY AUDITION REEL FOR GUEST HOST FOR QVC.
RIGHT AWAY, I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT I DO KNOW THAT MY FRIEND
AND NEIGHBOR JOY CHILDERS IS AUDITIONING AS WELL.
SHE IS AN AMAZING PERSON. BUT I DO THINK SHE IS -- NO.
I'M NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING BAD.
I'LL JUST SAY THAT ALL OF MY FRIENDS THINK THAT -- NOPE.
I JUST SAID I WASN'T GOING TO SAY ANYTHING BAD.
SHE IS WHAT SHE IS. YOU CAN ALWAYS JUST GOOGLE HER,
YOU KNOW. WHICH I THINK YOU SHOULD.
AND STUFF WILL COME UP. I LOVE HER!
UM, OKAY. ACCESSORIES.
WE ARE CURRENTLY IN MY NECKLACE ROOM.
AND WHAT I WANT TO SHOW YOU IS --
OH MY GOD! I JUST STEPPED ON THE DOG!
HE CAN'T BE IN HERE, LOUIS! >> WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
>> PEANUT HAS TO BE IN HIS CRATE!
AND NOW THAT'S ONE POINT FOR JOYCE BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE A DICK
THAT KICKS DOGS IN THE BUTT, GREAT.
START OVER, CUT. GREAT, LEWIS.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> HI.
IT'S ME, JOYCE. FUTURE QVC HOST.
YOU KNOW, I JUST WANT YOU GUYS TO KNOW THAT QVC IS MY NUMBER
ONE DREAM. AND EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT
KNOWS ME HAS SAID THAT I WAS BORN TO DO THIS.
AND THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT ARE OKAY WITH LIKE
HIJACKING DREAMS BECAUSE -- OKAY.
I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE. I CAN'T BREATHE.
>> ARE YOU OKAY? >> DON'T COME OVER HERE, YOU
STRESS ME OUT! I'VE GOT TO GO WALK AROUND OUR
CUL-DE-SAC -- DO NOT FOLLOW ME, DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING, I AM
FINE! OKAY!
[ LAUGHTER ] >> HEY, GUYS.
IT'S YOUR GAL PAL CHRISTIE BERKIE HERE TO SHOW YOU
HOW TO DRESS UP ANY WORK OUTFIT AND GIVE IT A TOUCH OF SPARKLE
AND GLAM WITH CLIP-ON GLAMOUR BAUBLES.
LOOK HOW THIS GLISTENS IN THE SUNLIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER ] WAS THAT JOYCE?
DID I JUST SEE JOYCE IN OUR WINDOW?
>> THAT WAS JOYCE. >> WHAT IS THAT BITCH UP TO?
[ LAUGHTER ] ANYWAY, WE'LL JUST CUT AROUND
THIS. OKAY.
THESE IMITATION CRYSTAL PIECES WILL ENLIVEN ANYTHING --
[ LAUGHTER ] >> I SEE YOU!
I SEE YOU, GET OVER HERE! >> WHAT?
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STEALING DREAMS?
THAT FRIENDS KNOW IS FOR ME? >> THAT IS NOT GOOD ENGLISH, YOU
WILL NEVER MAKE IT WITH THAT KIND OF ENGLISH ON QVC.
>> ON QVC, ON QVC! THAT'S WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE.
GET YOUR OWN LIFE! >> I HAVE IT!
I HAVE A LIFE! STOP TALKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE I
HAVE IT! [ LAUGHTER ]
>> MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE IT AWAY. YOU SEE WHAT THIS IS IN MY
POCKET? >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS,
JOYCE. OKAY?
I HAVE NO IDEA. >> WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT
HANDLE'S TO? [ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH, IS THAT YOUR GUN? IS THAT WHAT THAT IS?
LOUIS, SHE BROUGHT HER GUN, SURPRISE SURPRISE, I GUESS SHE'S
GOING TO KILL ANOTHER PERSON ON ACCIDENT!
>> IF I DO IT WOULD YOU STOP STEALING?
>> JOYCE, DON'T BE A FOOL. >> THIS IS ALL GOING TO QVC,
THIS IS ALL GOING TO QVC, JOYCE! >> NO, NO, IT'S NOT!
>> YES, IT IS. THIS IS MY AUDITION TAPE AND IT
CAN BE WHATEVER I WANT. >> HONEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
HERE? >> YOUR WIFE IS GOING TO SHOOT
US THROUGH OUR WINDOW. >> IT'S NOT A REAL GUN, IT'S FOR
THE PLAY I'M DIRECTING. >> OH MY GOD, JOYCE.
YOU ARE SUCH A JOKE. >> OH REALLY.
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S A BETTER JOKE?
YOUR HUSBAND IS GAY. AND I KNOW IT BECAUSE HE'S
SLEEPING WITH MY HUSBAND. [ LAUGHTER ]
I HEAR THEM EVERY NIGHT IN OUR BABY'S ROOM LIKE, OH, YEAH.
I WANT IT. >> STOP IT!
>> OKAY, CHRISTE? ARE YOU GOING TO SEND THAT TO
QVC, I'M SURE THEY'D LOVE THAT. >> GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
>> AARRGHH! [ STATIC ]
♪♪♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> WELL GUYS THAT HOUR JUST FLEW BY.
>> I GUESS THAT'S JUST WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GUEST HOST QVC
WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND. >> KEEP SHOPPING, YOU GUYS!
♪♪♪ [ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I love this sketch solely based on the performances alone. While I think Kate and Aidy are top tier as well, I’d still say Cecily is the strongest cast member of this era and has the most range. She’s proven consistently she can go head to head with the best out there
I remember loving this sketch when it was on solely due to how absurd it was. I love when SNL takes weirder turns!
Keep shoppin’ you guys!!!
"You lil stinker, you look dynamite!"
This is one of my all-time favorite sketches ever and I'm a long-time fan!
Hahahaha how have I never seen this before!
Those two women are comedy gold.
Fucking LOVE this
this one kills me. didnt care for it when it aired but over time i kept going back to rewatch it!!! hahaha. It's just so absurd, and Cecily and Kristen sold it.