As a Kid, How Did You Heavily Affect Your Parents, but You Didn't Know Until Later in Life? (Part 2)

what is something you did as a kid that heavily impacted your parents but you didn't know until later in life i used to always get on my mom's case because we always had to stop often for her to go the bathroom one day my dad pulled me aside and told me that i apparently had caused her some bladder damage when i was being born in the womb and that's why she goes to the bathroom so often i no longer comment on her bathroom activities definitely her known impact but it still works enough my dad had been asking me for years to choose whether i loved my mom or dad more and said i should live with whoever i liked best he detested the 50 stroke 50 custody arrangement he had with my mom and constantly pressured me to pick one home or the other full stop after 14 years of mumbling i love you both i can't pick i finally just blurted out mom i want to live with mom and so it was that he dropped me off at her house with my cat and all my belongings while she was at work said i can't believe i raised such a selfish kid out the car window and drove off a week before my birthday a little over a year later my mom's got full custody and i'm working out a lot of issues i didn't know i had with the help of my counselor hopefully life will stay better from now on and my dad can figure out the multitude of problems he has and deal with them now that he doesn't have the burden of a kid your dad sounds like and but here's to hoping he figures out his crap one day before it's too late my dad was physically abusive towards my sister so one day i couldn't handle it anymore and wrote a letter in broken words i was only 9 or 10 years old to my grandfather and he told my dad that if he didn't stop he wouldn't speak to him and the beatings stopped i wish it could be that simple in all abusive situations good on your grandpa my dad died when i was 16 my mom cried every day every single day for months one day i suggested to her that maybe she put herself out there again and sign up for an online dating site she did she ended up chatting meeting marrying a man from the other side of the usa so we moved to from the south to the pacific northwest he is the funniest most awesome guy ever and 10 years later they are still madly in love with each other not only did he teach her to play guitar billy totally supported her taking risks in her job and is basically her fan club she's now a vp of a company i loved my dad very much but i am glad i told her to stop morning p.s online dating can work out i'm in butthole i told my mom she couldn't come to my school because she was overweight it makes me sad thinking about it today can only imagine how she felt back then in second grade i drew a father's day card depicting my dad as a bear because he looks like one i believe was my reasoning surrounded by half empty wine bottles everyone in my family thought it was hilarious so i did almost exactly the same thing as you but without the significant impact i was expecting some other kind of significant impact you surprised me by not actually having affected anyone's life growing up my mother was a stay-at-home mom who mostly sold avon products my dad worked at a steel mill long shifts and he was literally never home between work and drinking heavily at the local bar anyway she divorced his drunk butt when i was a toddler and they had joint custody since i never really knew who he was i just knew the violent drunk side of him when he actually was home i was terrified of him he kicked us out of his house and we were homeless for a time and then we lived with my grandmother after a year of half-assed visitation on my father's part my five-year-old self blurted out in the car no i wanna go home you're not the mama and started crying he turned around left me at home with my mom and never came back for another visitation never called me and never sent me a birthday card apparently he had told my mother that i was a brat and couldn't deal with me didn't want a kid and i was her problem now i also didn't get to see my half brother dad's kid after that point and that's how you get rid of a father i didn't see him again until i accidentally ran into him when i was a teenager i never really asked what happened until recently and my mom just said it's in the past now also during a session with a school guidance counselor about the divorce i drew a funny picture of my dad being naked because i accidentally walked in on him once when i was younger and thought dogs were hilarious from then after my mother got a phone call about her abused daughter and a bunch of people thought he had physically shamed me he never did they asked me if he had touched me and i could tell i was in serious crap but my mother tried to get me to confess to it multiple times in order to get my father in legal trouble i never did but for a month or two everyone i came into contact with was very concerned about me and my family life i saw the guidance counselor after lunch on a daily basis your mother trying to get you to confess to that horrifies me imagine if you somehow wound up thinking that it had happened or being confused about it or whatever that kind of thing could really freak you up my parents won't let my grandmother around me when i was born until she quit smoking she was a smoker for 25 years and quit and soon as she heard that news my parents told the same thing to my grandmother but well she was so sad that my parents finally didn't care about her smoking she kept smoking for 25 more years three pack a day and died around 80 in her sleep my dad used to chew tobacco once at a restaurant i put a sugar packet in my mouth like daddy my dad quit that and even when he'd fall back into the tobacco habit he only smoked in hiding the image of a five-year-old with a sugar packet haunted him for the rest of his days we got the smoking is bad lecture when i was in first or second grade and i came home and told my parents both chain smokers i love you very much and i don't want you to die from smoking cigarettes i want you to be around forever my dad told me when i was a teenager that me saying that broke his heart and that he quit smoking that day i asked my mom later if she remembered me saying that to her her response yeah but you were just a dumb kid what do you know and then she was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago and that about sums up my relationships with my mom and dad my dad works in construction and after work would have a beer or two every day i was around six or seven and was learning how drugs are bad for you and told him that when he died we would place beer cans around his grave instead of a headstone he stopped drinking for the next 15 years until my sisters both started dating as a father of beautiful daughters i understand when i was little my dad was in the navy and would spend months away at sea once when i was two years old he came back from being gone for four months and i didn't remember him at all even though apparently he had a promising future in nuclear naval research development he stepped down and got a normal job so he could be with my mom and i and actually see his daughter grow up i can tell he still misses it in some ways your father sounds like a stand-up guy sacrificing something that makes him happy for the betterment of his family give him a high five for me ah what a sweet story when i was 10 my mother gave my sister and i the choice to either live in a hotel or go back to her abusive husband we chose the husband because we didn't want the other kids making fun of us you can imagine what impact that choice had i'm sorry mom i wish you hadn't cared about our opinion so much i used to be unable to say i love you it was some kind of weird mental block that probably had something to do with anxiety i still have a lot of anxiety problems i just couldn't get the words out so my mom would always tell me she loved me and i wouldn't be able to say it back sometimes she would ask me if i loved her and i wouldn't even be able to nod one time she told me that she actually cried herself to sleep because of this which absolutely killed me mine is less something i did and more how someone felt about me i had an aunt who died before i was born she was in her twenties fell asleep smoking in bed and died in the ensuing house fire i was vaguely aware of aunt peggy throughout my childhood my grandparents kept pictures of her up with the rest of the family portraits and family members would always remark about how peggy would have loved a certain thing now my grandparents were extremely doting they were true products of the depression frugal sensible people who valued love and togetherness more than possessions i never doubted that they loved me and my sisters a brief example my grandpa's birthday was the 16th of february and i was born on the 17th of february every single year at our joint family birthday party he would tell me that i was the best birthday present he ever got i've never felt more special flash forward to my 20th birthday i find out in the early hours that my grandpa has passed away i am inconsolable for the next week or so my uncle asks me to say something at the funeral and i agree i told the birthday story again choking back tears the entire time then my uncle gets up to give his eulogy he starts telling the story about my aunt's death my oldest sister was only one or two at the time and my mom got pregnant again a couple of years later then had my second oldest sister another girl then she gets pregnant again and has another girl pregnant a fourth time my mom and dad are crossing their fingers extra hard hoping that this one me will be a boy at this point in the eulogy my uncle starts to smile he looks at my parents and apologizes telling them that he's about to reveal a huge family secret he says that before my parents knew they were having a fourth daughter my grandpa pulled him aside and said tom i already know it's going to be another girl my uncle asks how grandpa says peggy was taken from us far too early and it was unfair but the universe is making up for it when i was born my grandpa pulled my uncle aside at the hospital winked and said i told you our entire lives my sisters and i never had any idea how much we truly meant to my grandparents i had the worst fear of the cuties so much so that i began telling my parents that i would much rather marry another guy i'm straight as an arrow and you can't make this crap up i paraded around the house proclaiming myself gay little did i know my parents were majorly conservative and fundamentalist christians and once they experienced love for a gay child they did the 180 and became major supporters of gay rights t.l dr cooties made my conservative parents think i was gay made them love gay people this is absolutely classic a tiny unknowing civil rights activist my mom cheated on my father when i was a little kid i don't know why but she took me over to his house one night when she stayed over with her new boyfriend i played with this kid that was my age and watched free willy don't know why i remember that a few weeks later my dad sat me on our kitchen counter and plainly asked if mommy had another boyfriend besides daddy i told him yes and even proudly admitted that i knew where he lived because it was right by grandma's house we drove out there during the day while my mom was at work when we pulled up to the driveway my mom's car was there she had been skipping out on her job to cheat on my dad my dad told us to get out of the car hunt the car horn and drove off my sisters and i jumped out my mom saw us and realized what deep crap she was in when we got back to our house it was surrounded by cops my dad was trying to kill himself the cops talked him out of it but the next week was a downward spiral in the beginnings of my parents separation i didn't realize until i was older that the information i told my dad began the end of my parents marriage i know they would have separated either way because my mom was being unfaithful but i think that it was a lot rougher than it needed to be because of what i did said tl dr told my dad that my mom was cheating on him took him to her boyfriend's house and then my dad threatened to kill himself the information i gave my dad started my parents divorce absolutely and unequivocally not your fault nothing about that situation was your fault the divorce wasn't because you said it it was because your mom did it my father never wore a seat belt ever when he was young and when he was getting his license people didn't wear them and even though it was 1999 in this story he still wasn't wearing one and this terrified four-year-old me i thought every time he drove he was for sure going to die so every day when he'd get in the car with me to drive me to preschool i'd say buckle your seatbelt daddy repeatedly until he became so annoyed by my nagging that he did it this went on every morning for months my father normally came home from work at nine o'clock every night 9 30 if he was really late until the 11th of january 2000 it was 11 45 and daddy wasn't home yet an officer came to the door and said there had been an accident and my mother needed to go with him to the hospital my dad had been in a 50 mile per hour head on collision but he was alive he sustained back and neck injuries but he'll come home soon and make a full recovery and you know why because he didn't sail through the windshield upon impact he wore his seat belt without me even having to tell him to but he thinks i did he told me years later that when he got in his car to come home that night he was about to leave and he swears he heard my voice say buckle your seat belt daddy and that's why he chose to wear it and that's why he's still here with my family being the best dad a girl could ever hope for tl dr annoyed my dad to the point of having auditory illusions that saved his life i was 18 in final year of high school and my mother was suffering from a bout of bad dreams she would realize it is a bad dream but was unable to wake up she would try and scream but as dreams work only soft little yelps would come out so one morning around 2 a.m i go for a pee and i hear little mules yelps coming from my folks bedroom down the hall so i dragged my sleepy butt over there peek my head in and ask my mom if she is ok she stops making the noises and responds that she is fine years later my dad tells me that he wasn't allowed to touch my mom again until i moved out of the house three years later tl dr i don't blocked my dad for three years i come from an immigrant family and both my parents had to work hard after the first several years that we moved here my parents were out of the house a lot and needed a babysitter for my younger brother he's six years younger so we have a pretty big age gap so basically i played babysitter from ages 13 17 when i got to being a freshman in high school i lost some of my really good friends from middle school due to stupid drama that happened anyways i wanted to make new friends at this new school so i asked my parents if i could join soccer my dad told me i couldn't because my brother needed to have someone to take care of him after school i cried a lot that night but my parents convinced me that i was really helping them out and i eventually understood fast forward when my brother got to middle school he started playing soccer and getting involved with local park district teams and traveling teams during his second season a little girl's team would play in a field nearby and my dad always had tears in his eyes from remembering how much it hurt me that i couldn't play when my sister and i were little kids ages 3 10 my grandmother regularly took care of us during the summer time every week she'd drive to one stroke two hours from san diego to los angeles to watch us for about three or four days she'd take us to malibu to go to the beach and go shopping i know that sounds incredibly pretentious but in a nutshell she spoiled us rotten i mean rotten she eventually moved in with my mother and did most of the cleaning cooking and babysitting she spent most of her retirement buying as gifts and expensive outings one day she made some playful comment along the lines of i'm not your servant i said yes you are because i was so accustomed to her waiting on me hand and foot she looked completely heartbroken and a few days later decided to move out my younger sister being about six years old felt completely betrayed that her grandmother had abandoned her later in the year my grandmother came for a surprise visit when i wasn't home my sister greeted her with some insanely snarky comment like well where have you been and then gave her the cold shoulder for the rest of the day none of my family members have seen or heard from my grandmother since this event this was 2005 my mother hired a private investigator to search for her but they've largely been unsuccessful i later learned that she suffers from an extreme anxiety disorder tldr my sister and i took my grandmother completely for granted and caused her eminent disappearance [Music] my parents held the reins pretty tight during my childhood but the weird thing is i never had a problem with their authority and i have no memory of any particular punishment being doled out so once i jokingly asked my mom how she accomplished this without every hitting me and her comment was there we used to hit you and then a little snort laugh wanting to follow up on this i asked my dad about it and he told me the story of the last time anyone got hit as punishment apparently i was around four or five years old and my brother was two three and being about as terribly annoying as a toddler can be he was doing something particularly bad one day and just drove my dad nuts so my dad calmly tells him to stop then when he continues warns him that he's going to have to spank him if this continues the noise and threatening continue in a cycle until my dad is at the end of his patience and approaches my brother to follow through on his word and dole out some punishment at this point i walk up and blurt out he's not going to stop doing that even if you spank him but if you really want to hit somebody you can hit me instead since he made you so mad apparently my dad took a long walk after that one and decided that was it on corporal punishment my laziness saved my mom's life i really didn't like high school very much so i'd stay home a lot one day i begged to stay home and my mom and i fought so much for an hour even but she eventually let up i felt horrible and wanted to be close to her so i decided to sleep in her bedroom it turns out as my sister was leaving for work and phil no reason would she have checked on my mom my mom would have died if i hadn't went to sleep in her room she is a wood carver she uses blocks of wood and carves portraits of animals out of them and sprays her wood with this finishing that adds an extra coat of shine but it can be toxic if in a contained room it turns out she inhaled too much and immediately passed out unable to breath i woke up to her chalking and was able to call nine one one she lived when i was six i was looking through my mom's stuff when i found a really nice ring i decided to wear it to school that day because it made me feel grown up needless to say i lost it in the playground mom never mentioned it and no one ever found out so i figured i was in the clear 11 years later i'm talking to my grandmother about my parents and she brings up the reason why they never married my dad had proposed when mom was pregnant and she refused but they stayed together as a common law couple anyway then when i was six he proposed again she lost the engagement ring and took it as a sign that they shouldn't be married they separated when i was ten three guesses as to which ring i had worn to school that day i still feel like absolute crap about it and i've never told anyone being responsible my parents were never strict at all and as long as my siblings and i were home for dinner we could do whatever we wanted now that i'm older they always say how easy it was to raise four kids i wanted to play volleyball in middle school high school i was never good enough to make the team at school i begged my parents to put me in club volleyball which costs around 2k per season so i could still play competitively my dad was laid off from his job and as the sole earner in the family he found a way to put up the money for four years to let me play i was a spoiled brat back then and wish i hadn't realized it earlier my mom and dad divorced when i was little around eight and at about 13 i asked my mom why can't you be like the other moms she worked two jobs didn't get any help from my dad and i never saw her i wondered all throughout my teens why my mom never talked to me or cared about me when i was 19 she finally told me why and that's when she finally started getting help for her bipolar she thought i meant why aren't you saying like them not why aren't you remarried by now kind of deal we became closer and well i guess it turned into a happier story than i thought it would be yay when i lost my virginity my girlfriend bled a lot and took the blanket we were on from a couch not my bed and tried to wash it before anyone found it my dad found it and asked me about it of course i denied any knowledge of the semen blood freaks white stained blanket flash forward a few years and my parents are divorced flash forward a few more years and my dad finally tells me the catalyst to their divorce he found a blanket that someone had freaked on and since it wasn't mine or his it had to be hers i still haven't told anyone tl dnri caused my parents divorce for real well i have a few concerning my father when i was little he was gone so much that i started calling my best friend's father daddy he still spends every second of free time with my sister and i he also used to chew obscene amounts of tobacco he was rotting his teeth out but when i was four i told him no more kisses till you stop chewing the black stuff that was more than a decade ago and he hasn't relapsed on it in six years when my older brother moved in with us he took up so much of my mom's time that i walked up to her and asked when she was going to love me again i was six she still has nightmares about it if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot Everything

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Keywords: parents, parents stories, parenting tips, parenting, parenting styles, parenting 101, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh, reddit stories 2020

Id: -69nq1e5sF4

Length: 23min 54sec (1434 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 03 2020