Another Case Solved And Yet Veronica Doesn't Even Know I Exist

name's dick Gator I'm private detective middle names investi but that doesn't matter I'll go searching for anything people cherished items pets hell I'll even go looking for your quadriplegic sister if you got the caps for it although we both know she's either right where you left her last or being used as a goddamn flashlight by some Raider gang now rumor is Oh cliff Brisco that works the t-rex gift shop someone came in and stole his damn nuka-cola victory now I'm gonna be the one to solve this [ __ ] case whoa whoa there fella hold on do you remember the first video of mine you watched and to celebrate this horrible PTSD inducing experience I created a t-shirt design in the spirit of a 1950s creature feature film what woman the horror of the first encounter there you are surfing the internet on a glorious expedition of the World Wide Web when all of a sudden you come face-to-face with horror it's a truly frightful experience and one you won't soon forget available on a t-shirt or on a nice little nifty poster whichever you see fit visit general Sam duck Big Cartel this world it's a dangerous one I'll give you that but a man inside of a dinosaur should have no problems keeping his drink behind the counter I promise you I'll find your nuka-cola victory if it's the last thing I do or my name isn't dictator I've been a freelance detective around these parts traveling here and there here and there but mostly here finding daughters missing husband's getting ladies is also part of the job so I was told I haven't really been able to you know break into that front but if you ever lose anything you let me know here's my business card look at that subtle off-white coloring oh my god it even has a watermark all right Veronica I'm not gonna lie to you you might have bitten off more than we can chew it's just a bottle of soda it could be anywhere it's worth quite a bit of caps and we could just sold it you know I could've drinking it health I hear there's even people out there like sticking them up their behinds something about the shape it's very phallic speaking of which I'm getting a half-chub just thinking about it could the man I'm looking for this entire time be myself maybe I went to bed in my apartment woke up in the middle of the night Opera House confused sexually i crawl around the environment looking for anything anything that resembles something that I could shove into my yearning hole water novak would have turned to dust a long time ago what are caravans so this town is having problems with hydration you might just say that a cool refreshing nuka-cola victory it's just what someone might need to sate their thirst I think we're onto something here although I said I was on to something I really wasn't I'm actually a pretty [ __ ] detective and I'm just trying to convince Veronica that I'm an alpha male and not some disgusting soy boy Omega male I'm gonna be honest with you Veronica look I've been trying to impress you because you're the only female I've seen in about the year and a half the trails gone cold okay I have no idea where the [ __ ] this stupid Cola is but if there's one thing that stirs up results its blindly accusing people so that's why we're standing outside of Ranger Andy's bungalow we're gonna go in there and bust some kneecaps figure out where this [ __ ] soda pop is I can't want to fight against the black guy he's got armor on and stuff now let's go next door all right we're gonna go in next door this is a cliff brazos house when you think about it he could have stolen his own nuka-cola victory that'd be the perfect crime he's got action figures what a [ __ ] nerd so I've gotten some good information about a Daisy Whitman she's gonna be on the other side of the store we're gonna go in there and we're gonna skid the [ __ ] out of her look at this I'm just gonna give her a little nothing it's not gonna kill her let me give her a little nick you know sure that we're serious then it might be a little bit more likely to talk look at this place sunset sasparilla sunset sasparilla sunset sasparilla oh we got an addict on our hands where's the Nuclear Cola oh my god wait what are you doing Veronica okay she didn't have the she didn't have the nuka-cola victories that kind of makes us murders look at this old age has taken her we need to get the [ __ ] out of town when the old lady doesn't come to breakfast they're gonna be suspicious so we need to get the [ __ ] out of town yep am i interrupting something am i interrupting something cliff how you doing I'm doing pretty good look I am hot on the trail for your nuka-cola and I think I've tracked the guy at a the [ __ ] out of town let's get the [ __ ] outta here let's get the [ __ ] out here while the people of Novak mourn over that old lady that died of a natural stab wound to the face I'll continue the search at the local pawn shop first place that people tend to go is the pawn shop but their stolen goods they bring in soda and they get cash which they can then use to buy hookers is the only thing anybody wants especially me I'm willing to pay anything for sex anything any I'm willing to do anything whatever pay any amount of money for sex anything do you hear me anything I'll do anything in anything anything all right hey what's this dino toys would you would you get the Dino toys and the guy that sold them to you did he also bring you a nuclear Cola victory bike by chance the pawn store owner said that he got the Dino toys from a junkie but he didn't buy any nuka-cola so if the guy had them he probably sold them down at the liquor store you own a saloon and you're the last person in town which means you're desperate desperate for money desperate for beverages for new stock and I see you have a new Cola collection behind you and I bet you you're the one that stole that nuka-cola victory I know you you're kind as soon as it tough gets going then the going gets tough and you turn into a murderous stealing thieving lowlife doing anything in order to get his goddamn hands on a nuclear coal of victory sunset sasparilla sunset sasparilla sunset sasparilla sunset sasparilla oh my god I've made a terrible mistake I'll just stand you up like nothing ever happened yeah people come in be always just so tired from running this super busy business I can't believe it chewy what just drinking there buddy you've been due Novak before so what's going on in that Cup I need my fix keep an eye on your stuff damn fees yeah I'll say hey stranger hope you been well what do you need I was hoping you had some nuka-cola alright that victory oh my god here it is Nuka Cola victory look at that sir was this sold to you recently the owner of the liquor store identified the junkie out front to be the same guy that had sold him then nuka-cola you son of a [ __ ] with the murder investigation dying down a Novak an old cliff Briscoes nuclear Cola victory safely hidden inside my rectal cavity I decided to head home and wrap this case up let's see I got some good news man welcome back can I get you anything no but I can get you something my friend hey what are you doing dude come on Jesus Christ I'm talking to you can't just sit in the corner and pick your nose I found your nuka-cola victory now eight come on now I don't know who stole it I have no idea who stole it but I know it did end up down at an alcohol store down on the west side instead of storing it on these shelves down here which I mean they were stolen from there last time can put it like you're stored for him for safekeeping it's kind of a pricey drink you don't want this thing getting stolen right so let's put in here Oh what the [ __ ] case closed also I stream Tuesdays and Thursdays at 3:00 p.m. so check out the link in the description and check out this clip of this massive guy rating me on twitch hey who rated me hold on I didn't even see it come up who rated me I don't even see who did it hey whoever rated me thanks for the rate I don't know who it was no idea it didn't pop up Oh cotton hey cotton thanks for the thanks for the raid hey everyone else a came in here you have a nice seat they can sit down on this on this lap well anyways yeah cotton thanks for the [ __ ] raid you [ __ ] I'm out of here go suck a fart out of your mom's ass nerd [Music] [Music]

Channel: General Sam

Views: 307,215

Rating: 4.9596066 out of 5

Keywords: new vegas, funny, novac, detective, general sam, fallout new vegas, fallout, fallout: new vegas

Id: AUCR0yTbpRw

Length: 10min 15sec (615 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 20 2018