- Hey everybody and welcome to story time. I'm Pear. - And I'm Spider Orange, wee! (laughing) - Dude, would you watch
where you're swinging? - Sorry, didn't mean
to bug you. (laughing) - (groaning) Well, I'm
glad to see you're excited for today's episode, Orange. - Yeah, you might say
I'm really getting into the swing of things. (laughing) Wee! - (groaning) I take it this means you did the required reading for
today's episode for once? - Nah, it was too long. - Dude, it's a comic book. - Oh, well in that case, it had too many pictures. (laughing) - You didn't even open it, did you? - No need, Pear. I pretty much remember
it from the first time I didn't read it as a kid. (laughing) - Oh yeah? So what's the title? - The uh, Annoying Spider-Man. - Close, but also way off. It's the Amazing Spider-man. - We'll see about that. (laughing) - (groaning) Great. - Once upon a time, there was a high school
kid named Peter Parker. Now, he wasn't exactly the coolest or the biggest kid at school, but he was super good at science. How am I doing so far, Pear? - This is actually pretty spot on. - Told ya I remembered it. My mind is a steel scrap. - Uh, that's not how it-- - [Orange] One day, Peter
Parker went to a science fair, but there was no concession
stand or anything. So he got super hungry. (stomach growling) Finally he bit into a radioactive spider. - [Pear] Come again? - [Orange] He bit a radioactive spider. - [Pear] Okay, that's
what I thought you said. See, that's not exactly-- - [Orange] And because the
spider was radioactive, Peter Parker accrued the
powers of the spider. Eight limbs, eight eyeballs, the ability to scare people when the bathroom light comes on. - [Pear] Yeah, I think we're gonna need to tap the brakes here. Dude, those aren't the
super powers he got. - [Orange] Well sure they are. True or false, Peter Parker
got spider superpowers? - Sure. But not those powers. He got all the cool ones. I mean, it's not like he suddenly started eating flies or something. - That's where you're wrong, mon-Pear. He did start eating flies by the bowlful. - [Pear] No he didn't. Why would he do that? Flies are a disgusting thing to eat. - Pear, we're talking about
a guy who bit a spider. You really think he's
going to be grossed out by the thought of eating a fly? - Good point. - Boo yeah. Now if you don't mind,
I will continue the list of spider powers that
Peter Parker accrued. He grew up thorax. He lost the ability to speak. And most importantly,
he gained the ability to shoot spider webbing out of this butt. - [Pear] (groaning) Close enough, I guess. - [Orange] So he went out on the town, shooting butt webs all over the place. He wasn't great at first, but he got into the swing of
things soon enough. (giggling) (Pear groaning) Oh, but here's the thing, just as he gained the powers of a spider, he also gained the
downsides of being a spider. - [Pear] Growing a thorax
wasn't already a downside? - [Orange] Of course not, Pear. The thorax is a very important body part. Plus, the ladies love it. - [Pear] Good grave. - [Orange] Sadly, Peter Parker
got the bad spider stuff too. Like the ability to be easily
trapped under a water glass. - [Pear] (groaning) This used to be one of my favorite origin stories. - [Orange] Also, he lost
the ability to speak. His brain shrunk to the
size of a sesame seed, and his lifespan reduced to
approximately one to two years. - Dude, this is the worst
superhero of all time. - What do you want from me? The guy could have bit into a radioactive Nobel prize
winner or something, but he opted for a dumb old spider. Actions have consequences, Pear. With great power comes, um,
something, something, something. - (groaning) Listen, can
we just get to the part where he fights bad guys, please? - Sure thing. There are no shortage of enemies, and Peter Parker took
'em all on as Spider-Man. There was Lizard. - [Pear] I think you
mean The Lizard, right? - [Orange] Nah, pretty
sure it's just Lizard. Other enemies included
chickadees, bluebird, trout. - [Pear] Hold up. These aren't Spider-man villains. They're just-- - [Orange] Natural
predators of the spider. I know! Don't worry Pear, I got this. Blackbird, gecko, other spiders. - Stop! (record scratching) Spider-Man did not swing around the city, shooting webbing from his butt, battling the natural
predators of the spider. - Well sure he did,
just not for very long. - Oh, and why's that? Are you gonna tell me he
got defeated by trout? - [Orange] No, although trout is a fearsome in formidable foe, Spider-Man met his match
when he got trapped underneath a water glass. - [Pear] Oh my gosh. A water glass? Come on. At least tell me his escape from the water glass was exciting. - Not really. He never escaped. He was under there awhile and, well, you know what I was saying earlier about his severely reduced lifespan. - So that's it? That's the entire story
of the amazing Spider-man. - Yep. - What, may I ask was so so amazing about a so-called superhero
who fought a trout, got trapped under a
glass and promptly died? How on earth did he get the
title of superhero anyway? - You're right, Pear, it defies logic. - I'll say. - It's incredible. - Exactly. One might even say it's
amazing. (laughing) - Oh my gosh. - [Orange] The end. (laughing) (upbeat music)
