Angry Video Game Nerd - Season 10 (AVGN Full Season Ten)

[Music] it's been ten years since I first began broadcasting to you through the miracle of YouTube technology and since then I've been trying to keep up with the times I just finished upgrading my vinyl record collection to cassettes and I got a new cell phone check it out and I finally got one of those new rectangular TVs I've been reorganizing all my game consoles new video switchers working out all the bugs new shelves I can now get behind my game consoles to reach all the wires and of course the ability to play games in HD clarity yeah high-def yeah now let's play some eight bits [Music] [ __ ] [Music] the angriest gamer you ever [Music] the angry atari sega nerd the angry video game nerd [Music] lamb shooting [ __ ] running around in your blue underwear it doesn't get any better than this it ain't Superman or Ultraman it's Capcom's Mega Man a robot hero built by dr. light to battle against the evil dr. wily and his never-ending supply of robot villains in the year to whatever the 2d gameplay is as classic as they come with a little bit of contra a little Metroid but still stands in its own right with its stage select system and the ability to steal each of the boss characters weapons oh we can't forget about those disappearing blocks one of the many rules of gaming never trust what's under your feet Mega Man 2 is favored by many it's considered to be one of the supreme examples of these types of side-scrolling action games it's the one everybody knows just like another Capcom game Street Fighter 2 which revolutionized the tournament fighter John run I guess you can say Capcom made the best number twos it's the simple things that make it so appealing for example Mega Man's run cycle he's constantly at full sprint you can see the determination the pure gallantry but that doesn't even graze upon why the gameplay is so addicting the jumping the midair shooting it's a science that triggers a phenomenon in your brain it's so badass oh sorry I was just playing the game when you do catch yourself a break to stop and listen you'll realize you're hearing some of the most rockin video game tunes of all time if only the idea of video games soundtrack albums caught on back then you'd get 21 hits in one fantastic collection including this offers not available in stores ordered today I remember when Mega Man was a trilogy but then it became a [ __ ] hex ology six classic 8-bit games on the NES with each installment there were upgrades three added the slide four added the Mega Buster and of course each time they had to come up with more robot villain names snake man needle man hard man dust man charge man tomahawk man Kimmy Gibbler turd salad man it wouldn't stop the series was impressively consistent there was a point where it seemed like the team behind making these games were not human they were machines themselves pounding out each sequel in an assembly line sure by the time six came along it got a little stale but it was rejuvenated with the Mega Man X series on Super Nintendo featuring a new Mega Man robot called ax man oh man if the franchise's foot wasn't already so far up your ass from kicking it now you are about to have your balls blown off til they orbit Uranus X 3 had a lot of cutscenes and dialogue boxes but that's cool X 4 is when they moved to the PlayStation consoles and now the cutscenes were getting a bit out of hand but with every new generation console they want to show off the technical capabilities I get it that's ok but that dialogue but I can see how they're trying to keep the story an integral part of the experience to keep it fresh and interesting with X 5 it starts right up with text you know yeah after a long introduction the game starts or okay all right we're off now and things are starting oh my god it's no joke every five seconds there's more dialog can you see a red rope ahead of you I don't know can I move can I play the [ __ ] game I was just starting to have fun and it goes to [ __ ] ha ha ha now everything's exploding I just started playing the game have [ __ ] mercy every screen there's a bomb you have to defuse but they don't give you enough time to reach it explosions dialogue explosions and dialogue at the same time oh my god [Music] poor [ __ ] I've had enough shitty games I've dedicated myself to this for too long I've had it I quit [Music] [Music] [Music] like I got to get away from this game I gotta get out of this room I gotta go out somewhere do something wild like get a tattoo on my face of a goat holding up a baby snorting cocaine off its penis and most important celebrate your independence not to play shitty [ __ ] games Oh oh my god who are you I'm you I can see that how'd you get here I don't know but I remember this yeah I don't know how else to say this but I'm from the future there I said it really do I get the goat tattoo obviously not on your face look at this old setup you know with the original NES model you can't play European games you gotta get your RF [ __ ] modded into composite still blowing in your cartridges you gotta get your oh whoa whoa whoa why is that there I don't know it just sits there get rid of it why you'll know by episode 100 episode what oh yeah trust me just quit right now what why it's my do it's our duty to review bad games and warn people from playing this [ __ ] what's this here there is a Mega Man PC game on Doss Mega Man on dass this is something that'll make you want to quit okay I'll give it a try first of all I can't get it to work on a controller even after installing all kinds of [ __ ] Mega Man won't stop running to the left so I'm gonna have to use the keyboard imagine playing a Mega Man game on a keyboard where's the jump key what's up with the colors you have it set the CGA you know if you were playing on the most up-to-date computers at the time it would have looked much better have you forgotten we gotta bring people back to the past there was a time when it was common for computer games to look like this why of all colors did they pick baby blue and magenta as the norm I no but that's how it was these are the colors of our childhood why is there a toll booth Mega Man can't pass without paying a toll does he have EZ Pass I can't outrun this dog I'll get away get away I can't get far enough away the rod just rod rod rod he jumps so [ __ ] far eat a bowl of [ __ ] you [ __ ] Ian ah it's the first screen of the game you can't get him off you can't outrun him and if they don't kill him he respawns well I guess that's as far as we can get good no more that oh you did it you gotta keep going now alright so after that you get the classic Mega Man Stage Select screen with only three selections no matter which stage you pick you're always fighting bats frogs bees spiders and rodents no creative robot enemies nothing like that just kill a bunch of animals and they're all too short to hit if you can't shoot on the ground why are all the enemies on the ground why are the e-tanks always in a puzzling spot as if the game was deliberately designed to tease you and piss you off they even put arrows telling you to move to the left so not only do you get to die you can feel like an idiot - these things are like magnets they pull you toward them when you're trying to get through this electrical hazard at the same time did both these things have to exist in the same place and then once the disappearing blocks start happening it's all over remember I'm playing on a keyboard fortunately with the sequel the controller works but Mega Man 3 no I didn't skip to they did there was no Megaman 2 for PC they jumped straight to three probably because the real Megaman 3 on NES was already out that would have made sense if this were the same game but it's totally different you can say it's a big step up from the first DOS game with twice as many stages but for some reason they decide to make the stages as confusing as possible typically in the Megaman games the challenge is in your platform jumping your combat strategy and knowing when to use your special items but this is all about navigating a maze if you want a good where the [ __ ] do I go kind of game try Megaman 3 boss see the [ __ ] is a waste of life you don't believe me play some of those awful Simpsons games I think I will and you know what nerd you should play more of those bad Megaman games who's gonna want to play this piece of [ __ ] I'm lucky if I can get one other person I have a better chance of cloning myself [ __ ] it boss see more horrible hey wait wait wait I'm in a dream I can do whatever I want so why don't we all just stop playing this [ __ ] game yeah so the hell with that [ __ ] yeah the hell with that damn [ __ ] the hell with that damn [ __ ] [ __ ] the hell hell with that goddamn [ __ ] [ __ ] what it was like 'wait told me what's going on here this [ __ ] look I know this sounds weird but I've sort of been time travelling around through AVGN history yeah that's weird we've never seen anything weird before what's AVGN audio a video graphic network a vagina so what time did you come from from ten years into the future that's nice could you have picked a more confusing time to show up not confusing at all time travelling back into a dream that happens all the time makes perfect [ __ ] sense relax all right now look I could tell you that Freddie's around the corner and he's waiting to kill all you but I'm gonna show you how much worse things could get here is Mega Man Legends on PlayStation PlayStation were the angry Nintendo nerd then change the [ __ ] name it's about time how about angry Nintendo commentator how about retro nostalgic video gaming [ __ ] seeker how about nostalgia critic now that's [ __ ] stupid how about angry video game nerd I agree with that Mega Man Legends was when the series made the jump to three dimensions in the late 90s it was almost like a law every 2d franchise must try 3d so the game begins and that explains it don't you think I can see don't move don't worry I can't move every time I try it's another text box turn right there do you see a door oh what that thing in front of me not funny apparently not far from my current position use the circle button really I would have never thought of that that's not at all what I was just about to do the control is prolific you know how in Mario 64 and Zelda Ocarina of Time how natural the controls feel you push the joystick in the direction you want to go and it responds perfectly in Mega Man Legends it's nothing at all like that instead the d-pad moves you two dimensionally left and right while you rotate your view point with the l1 and r1 buttons at least that's the best I can explain the controls the game was later released on the Nintendo 64 calling it what else Mega Man 64 in this version the controls are slightly better but hardly anything else has been updated despite coming out three years later and four years after Mario 64 which set a very clear standard on how three dimensional controls should feel hey link wants his rupees back treasurers what is this megaman legends of Zelda wannabe some say this game is good in the same way some people say anchovies on pizza is good you could do much worse it's an adventure game that serves as an alternate to the traditional Mega Man format it's more about exploring and watching a story unfold but still when I think of Mega Man I never imagined I'd be talking to a monkey and a moustache man dressed like Dick Tracy go the shopping area imagine Mega Man walking into Staples the weight that's not far off here Mega Man is walking into a clothing store a bakery a toy store Mega Man shopping he's walking into a CD store really what kind of music would Mega Man buy does this place have all popular crap or any the obscure good stuff like Witchfinder general look he doesn't have a reflection in the mirror Mega Man's a vampire he can't even walk right how is everybody so casual try that sometime walk into a department store turn around in circles and see if anyone looks at you funny there's some dirty magazines on the racks looking at porn my life is complete mega man like mega meat xxx well anyway this guy's got to take a [ __ ] so take out that Nightmare on Elm Street cartridge and empty your ass all over it I wish you would have said that earlier your [ __ ] so nasty it just reminded future nerd of the shitty Back to the Future games and set him back to the future or I just overthought it you'd rather superglue your [ __ ] shut then play that game you'd rather drown in gasoline you'd rather you know the thing is let me think I'm joking like I'm trying to be funny or something you know the fact that that game exists is a horrible abomination of mankind that game is so [ __ ] horrible and I am not kidding I am dead [ __ ] serious dead [ __ ] serious yes you are I must be drinking too much I see in this man drinking too much yeah but you are seeing this I'm you from the future right and I need your help does this have anything to do with dr. Jekyll and mr. Hyde no but a concerned shitty games good anything but Jekyll and Hyde so tell me how far into the future do you come from a month a year about 12 years almost what are you [ __ ] kidding me and you're still playing shitty game you didn't play Jekyll and Hyde again did you no never mm-hmm what's this Megaman x7 for PlayStation 2 yeah that just came out last fall oh man I'm retro megaman x 7 the first thing to note is that you don't even play as megaman x at least not until much later in the game instead you switch between 0 and a new character named axel now think about that name and go back to Megaman X 5 I noticed Izzie Duff Adler and slash beyond any coincidence they've been naming the characters after members of Guns & Roses that is awesome the game doesn't even know whether it wants to be 2d or 3d it keeps switching back and forth I guess you could say it has variety but the camera angles are a cruel inhumanity I can't see a damn thing according to the manual you can adjust the angle using l1 and r1 but only in designated spots become a cat's [ __ ] in designated spots zero uses a lightsaber but Axel's equipped with a gun you'd think this gun would operate the same as Mega Man's arm cannon it should almost make you forget that you're a different character the same way Mega Man and X always felt the same right well no they turned it into a steaming pile of goat [ __ ] now there's an automated targeting system gone is all the challenge of aiming and shooting now it's all about mashing buttons when I see a bunch of targets I tap the button repeatedly as soon as one target is destroyed it immediately locks on to the next one until they're all gone changing the established gameplay so drastically was a bad move a BM a real shitty move I've seen the worst I just got done playing jekyll-and-hyde well you can't say they didn't try anything new because every stage feels like a completely different game in some ways that's cool but not when this happens get me out of neon hexagon land I don't even understand how to play this then it flips upside-down and not only that the controls are reversed what a piece of [ __ ] the progression of the Mega Man series was like [ __ ] on an escalator once it reaches the top it gets a whole lot shittier it comes back around for more you'd rather superglue your dick hole shut if you ever find a copy this game do yourself a favor and buried under the fragments of the Jekyll and Hyde cartridge that you previously smashed with the hammer so there you go proof that it sucked back then yeah I know buy your time they're probably up to Megaman X 20 no Megaman kind of stops the franchise has been dormant lately well that's good you never rush out anything just to meet consumer demand otherwise you end up putting out [ __ ] some franchises get done to death you can't keep beating the same thing into the ground yeah but I do miss the Mega Man series people want it hmm if you had a series what would you do I couldn't imagine I wish I had something like that if people wanted it that'd be a great thing you can't do the same thing all the time or else it gets old but every now and then it's good to bring it back thanks [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] this game [ __ ] sucks yeah what a shitload of [ __ ] what were they thinking hey what's going on here yeah I got you covered nerd you quit you said so long screwy see in st. Louie it's all good you never have to play a bad game ever again you're off the hook hey you know what thanks thanks I appreciate it [Music] [ __ ] you [Music] [Music] I'm back it's yours truly the [ __ ] nerd here to play some more shitty games let's pop this [ __ ] in here [Music] [Applause] fake he's the angry video game [Music] he's gonna take you back to the past [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] angry Atari Sega nerd the angry video game nerd [Music] when you think back to the early days of the NES one title that can't be forgotten is paper boy it was one of the first NES games to come from an American company Atari who first introduced it as an arcade in 1985 and then it was ported on to more consoles and home computers to count Commodore 64 Apple 2 Amiga Sega Master System Game Boy Game Gear Genesis everything you could possibly think of there is even a tiger handheld version also a sequel and an n64 version in 3d style it really caught on it's considered first rank definitive in its field of enduring interest the highest nostalgic value it connected with the public it's universally renowned one of the all-time classic video games and it's all about delivering newspapers it says basic as it gets you're a paperboy riding a bike with one goal deliver newspapers to the subscribers for those who remember it there's nothing more to explain but for the younger gamers today you're probably scratching your heads maybe not but if so I'll clear it up ok a newspaper is a publication issued at regular intervals usually daily or weekly and contains news politics sports business finance advertisements comics etc and they're printed on paper it was [ __ ] crazy yes newspapers still exist and even Nintendo still makes games but that's debatable anyway if you know newspapers and old video games let's continue there's seven stages or should I say seven days at the start of each day you're shown a street map indicating which houses our subscribers and which ones aren't then you're on your way to start delivering papers thankfully you do not have to remember the street map the subscribers homes are very easy to recognize not by the mailbox that would make too much sense the entire houses are labeled by color the white houses are subscribers the red houses are nonsubscribers Wow can you imagine painting your house based on your newspaper subscription next time you and your spouse are going over the bills and they're on your case about cancelling your subscription to that paper you'll first have to consider if you really want to go through the effort of painting your house again the idea is to throw the newspapers hoping they land on the doormat or into the mailbox for more points yeah points it was an arcade game what do you expect for every house you miss the next day they become non subscribers but you can also lose subscribers by smashing their windows apparently there's a brick inside these newspapers yeah all full of bricks now I feel really bad for this paperboy for carrying such a heavy load but seriously can you break a window with a newspaper can't say I ever tried it ok so it's possible even if you get one in the mailbox but you break a window they unsubscribe [ __ ] they got their paper I still delivered it didn't I dude if I was a kid and Nintendo Power came crashing through my window I'd say [ __ ] yeah I've been playing this game for almost 30 years and aiming the newspapers has always been a problem the game is tilted in an awkward isometric angle which was ambitious for its time but annoying as hell when you throw a paper you have to time it perfectly and even after the paper is airborne it changes its trajectory based on the movement of your bike you just have to throw it and hope by some miracle it hits the mark it's sort of like a game kids used to play in the 60s where they would [ __ ] in two separate toilets and flush them simultaneously hoping their turds would meet actually I just made that up it wouldn't be as hard if you weren't so busy moving around avoiding hazards I'm never able to split my attention to the mailbox and the road at the same time I'm either going to break a window or fall on my ass and kill myself not to mention only three hits and the game's over damn I was so close ah again Jesus buck and you know what pisses me off the most is that nobody else seems to think this is that hard but for me aiming the newspaper into the mailbox is like trying to slingshot a dingleberry from a playground roundabout that's situated on a moving parade float aiming into a bottle cap that's tied by a string to a Himalayan snow [ __ ] while drunk it would take somebody from NASA who knows how to calculate exactly when a certain asteroid is gonna pass by a certain plant when it's lined up with a certain constellation during a certain moon phase meanwhile I'm still trying to calculate my cat's [ __ ] comets it spreads across the carpet after wiping its ass on it before it's anal glands have been evacuated but hang on what are we talking about here what's at stake getting a newspaper to land on a doormat or god forbid into a mailbox when would that ever happen all the times I've witnessed newspapers being delivered it's more like this there have you ever seen anybody launch one into a mailbox no nobody tries that if you did you'd be a town hero you get your dick sucked cats would bow at your feet even the neighborhood pit bull would spread out on the ground to bask in your glory they just drop them near the curb maybe in the driveway where you'll run over in the car on your way to work and it'll get soaked by rain before you even realize it's there until the water and paper consistency turns it into a soppy inky mush and then it dries in the Sun looking like some kind of kindergarten paper mache [ __ ] nowadays newspapers are usually delivered by cars I mean by people in cars but I guess newspaper adult car driving deliver or wouldn't have made such a great game but neither did this you want to deliver something deliver us from the torment in his horrible game how hard would it actually be to throw a newspaper into a mailbox only one way to find out [Music] yep what I thought it's more fun to break the windows anyway so [ __ ] it extra extra paper boy goes mad here's some a suffice here you go daily douchebag and 10% off your next purchase a [ __ ] you Cloudy with a Chance ass-kicking Dear Abby make him eat [ __ ] crosswords can you spell [ __ ] horoscopes you will achieve greatness in hell but here's the real kicker you know how to turn a non subscriber into a subscriber you know what you do break their windows is that in your job duty is that the protocol your boss tells you look if they don't subscribe send them a paper anyway through the window I'd like to know more about this boss who is this person who has such extreme solutions to things this is the type of person who takes out a housefly with a grenade and every time their car runs out of gas buys a new car you're breaking people's windows they have to get new glass fast it's cold at night there's bugs getting in please will subscribe to your paper just stop breaking our windows another weird thing about this game is trying to pause it I don't even know how to explain it but if you press the start button too quickly it doesn't stay paused it only lasts for a fraction of a second like if you blinked you missed it you have to be very deliberate with how you press it I've never seen this phenomenon in any other NES game now let's talk about the in-game oddities that you'll witness take this home for example impeccable and spacious with four beds two baths 2,500 square feet new kitchen stainless steel appliances granite counters hardwood floors central air heat professionally landscaped front yard and two gravestones and plenty open lots for the rest of your family why are there gravestones in the front yard and how do you knock them over with your newspapers these are some powerful papers maybe the gravestones are just styrofoam Halloween decorations and they're the only home that celebrates it we're only getting started who's this crazy woman this enraged beast that comes flying at you she's a subscriber - you don't even have to break a window to trigger her in fact I landed a paper right on her doormat and she still wants me dead what's her deal maybe she read too much Marmaduke and Family Circus how do you make the same comic strip every day there's no way it can all be good and this guy here can you take that inside really you have to do that on the sidewalk you [ __ ] pervert then there's a tire that randomly comes rolling out from behind the house who's back there rolling tires get a life how about the lawn mower the remote-control cars the breakdancer yeah he's breakdancing all by himself on the sidewalk is it a challenge did I get served what's this a tornado or the Tasmanian [ __ ] devil if there's a tornado coming through town I think the residents have bigger issues than not getting their papers can't I take the day off if there's a [ __ ] tornado warning maybe it's Simon Belmont you didn't know that after he used the tornado he had to pass through paperboy before he reached the other side how about the lawn ornament it's the famous lawn jockey statue an old tradition seen in home alone for example this may be common but it's not common to see them come alive this should be making headlines I should be delivering extra extra a lawn ornament attacks paperboy instead of paperboy calls it quits that's not newsworthy then there's the dog that's the only thing that makes sense the only hazard a paperboy might actually encounter but man does this dog run far somebody needs to get a fence and the grim reaper is in town that's a problem here read the obituaries you piece of [ __ ] you would think maybe the instruction manual has some backstories to these characters maybe there's a reason why all this is happening but no it lists the obstacles and that's it even Jekyll and Hyde had a detailed character list with illustrations and stories this manual tells you the absolute minimum only what you need to know to play the game no illustrations except for the controller it's one of the most boring NES manuals I've ever seen and if I can say anything at all about Jekyll and Hyde being better than you know you have problems speaking of Jekyll and Hyde there's something about this that reminds me of it it's an ordinary town full of things that wouldn't normally be dangerous it's made to look innocent but it's all a trick listen to the music it's peaceful and mellow it makes you feel like there's nothing too urgent going on like you're the one who's [ __ ] up it annoys me to the very core of my soul ever since I've played this game as a kid I've had a personal vendetta against it I just hit a bright-green Model T that's parked could I be humiliated anymore and I respawn right behind it are you kidding me what would happen if an actual paperboy fell off his bike nobody gets their papers you can't ride over the curb if you're in the street you're stuck there until there's a driveway that's your only window of opportunity to get back onto the sidewalk but there's always something in your way that forces you back down so you're always trapped in the bottom right-hand corner of the screen come to think of it the game hardly uses much of the screen at all half the space is taken up by the houses you'll never go to the left very much so that area of the screen is completely wasted it's like Back to the Future you're moving through a town and you can't do anything to stop yourself from moving and every common thing is out to kill you but imagine if you were playing back to the future crammed into the corner of the screen and if you make it onto the sidewalk now you're playing Silver Surfer ask any newspaper delivery person hey what's your job like I doubt they'd say it's like Silver Surfer stretched over a sidewalk as for the houses that's any NES game before it's been cleaned it's nothing this is impossible with only three lives maybe there's a secret method I wish there was a strategy guide Wow the official paperboy strategy guide [Music] whenever you make it to the end of the street you're treated to an obstacle course finale why would you pass through an obstacle course after delivering papers does it just happen to be on the way or was this the ultimate goal all along and say this kid deserves a little fun I mean he has a pretty dangerous job and remember he still has to go to school afterwards he even gets some fanfare that's right there's been people sitting there the whole time waiting for him what's up with the guy on the right looks like his head is missing the obstacles have no rhyme or reason cones hoops and ramps are scattered like random as if the programmer stamped them all over the place while blindfolded it's like designing a course an excite bike for your first time and whenever a path splits it's all a matter of chance if there's going to be a wall blocking the way with the ramps you have to be lined up perfectly [ __ ] this isometric angle [Music] you know what I hate this game if you can't already tell some people are good at it and say it takes time to get used to yeah I'd say almost 30 years and I still suck just as bad for everybody who's taken a beating down the friendly neighborhood of [ __ ] field USA but still remembers it has this great nostalgic pastime I'm here to remind you paperboy was not all sparkles and sunshine so I suggest you unsubscribe to your sentimentality now I have a delivery to make [Music] the Angry Video Game Nerd is not real he is a character some of the games he plays would cause a person to lose their mind break something or get hurt to put it another way don't try this at home Turner Turner Turner doctor doctor doctor doctor return to turn turn in the 90s beavis and butthead was a sensation on the surface it seemed like the most mindless idiotic show on television but on closer examination it was funnier and smarter than you'd think there are two segments to the show first there is the narrative segments this is where you'd see the characters leave the house and interact with society they cause all kinds of trouble and act without discipline they seem to represent some kind of teenage primal inner self a warning of what our generation may come too if we don't subdue that inner self a social satire covered in fart jokes the other part of the show is where they watch music videos while commenting on them in a very loose and lowbrow kind of way it gave us a contrast to the formal critic who traditionally tries to compose themselves in a professional intelligent way but really all you need is two jackasses sitting on a couch making fun of [ __ ] Beavis and Butthead pioneered today's various styles of reviewing media speaking of media it only seemed natural that they appeared in video games like this one on Sega Genesis it was released timely during the show's popularity so a game based on beavis and butt-head where there dude this is gonna be cool or is it the plot goes like this beavis and butt-head get tickets to a guar concert but a dog eats the tickets barks them up then they get shredded in a riding mower scattering the pieces of the tickets all over town and you gotta find them a bit far-fetched but so is the show in fact everything about the game is in tune with the show the humor is there and the game's graphics look just like the show's animation style it feels like you're playing a beavis and butt-head episode the controls take some time to get used to it's hard to tell where you're allowed to walk in the house you're stuck on a two-dimensional path even though it appears that you have a whole three-dimensional space to explore the first thing you do is search the house for items but anytime I try searching the couch I end up selecting the TV and it doesn't let you go back the TV is the main hub where you select what stage to go to next like burger world to the fast-food joint here I'm wandering around behind the place there's a door that requires a passcode okay where do I find that I'll check out the dumpster nope nothing here just a dead rat looking around looking around wait a minute probably get back to the dumpster there's no logical sense of direction try playing it with two players and you're screwed you're both always going to be moving in different directions causing the screen to change at inconvenient times unless one player leads and masters the art of lightning-fast communication now where's the passcode I looked everywhere you know where to find it I know in the cheaters guide that's where the passcode is Butthead okay I thought it was just gonna be numbers I didn't know who's gonna spell out a word why does the finger go in between the keys it shouldn't do that ah I hit the wrong key how do I delete it oh core that's the backspace key what score correct correct oh my god oh why could they just have de l4 delete and you know who would ever be named Butthead anyway maybe his parents intended it to be pronounced both Eid [Music] okay now we're inside that was way too much hassle there's a guy demanding service you go in the back to get his meal you're supposed to drop the rat into the fryer along with some fries so did I drop it or what what am I supposed to do oh the drop button up there is not for dropping the items into the fryer no it's for dropping them on the floor which is so conveniently hidden by the foreground plane that you would never know the difference to drop them in the fryer you select the items then use the C button ah silly me I'm such a [ __ ] feed who never thought it'd be self-explanatory dropped the item in the fryer by selecting drop figuring this game out as this awkward as trying to wipe your ass in the dark with a piece of floss while doing a handstand we're like a one-legged cat trying to burry a turd on a frozen pond so then you feed the guy that's glorious dead rat happy meal yeah he pukes it up and what comes out a piece of the tickets how did he eat a piece of the tickets I know it's just a game but come on that'd be like if I ripped up a piece of paper and then somehow a piece ended up in a dog's ass across the street everywhere you walk there's something on the ground trying to kill you beavis and butthead each have their own health meter so you can switch between them to conserve health but it doesn't take long for it to drain and it doesn't matter who dies whether it's Beavis or Butthead all it takes is one of them and the game's over no extra lives no continues nothing you can save the game but you have to make it back alive to the exit return to the house and go to the poster where you can put the piece of the tickets in a safe place then it gives you a password but after you die it doesn't continue it still resets back to the beginning in other words every time you die you have to enter the password it shouldn't make you do that the purpose of a password is for when you turn the game off and come back another time huh okay so let's enter the password wait I picked password what happened watch as I clearly highlight password I hit start and the game starts up from the beginning as if nothing happened you have to hit a or possibly any of the other buttons now you get the password screen yay but it's made of upper and lowercase letters when you're writing that down how are you gonna tell the difference between upper and lower case X or o or K what about the L that's not even a real lowercase L it's just a smaller uppercase L and how are you supposed to enter the password when the damn arm is in the [ __ ] way dumbasses who made this game have all the intelligence of a brick combined then beavis and butt-head design this game alright done uh what's happening okay guess what button you press this time start wait where's my [ __ ] health where's my [ __ ] items the ticket piece is still there but other than that the password is useless what good is a password if you're almost dead and all your items are gone I don't want to collect this [ __ ] all over again this game is less fun than 52-card pickup I don't even know what to say I'm out of words so how do you refill your health one way you can eat the rotten burger next to the dumpster then go to the sit room at the hospital if you can make it that far before the burger continuously drains all your health and even if you make it that far good luck getting back out of the hospital they block the exit with some fart knocker who thinks he's out of barbeque at first I thought he's wearing a doctor smock but it's a cooking apron and he has a burger on a spatula I guess I think they put him on the wrong stage by accident by the way there is a quicker way to get out of a stage by choosing sucks but all the items you collected stage are now gone making it pointless another way to get health is to shoot a million spit balls at these police officers who look like Don Knotts they sometimes give you help but look at how many hits it takes to kill this buttmunch every stage no matter where you go the enemies are too abundant and if you step back an inch and other ones spawns in its place you're caught in a surge of bowling balls skateboards and pedestrians jeez enough is enough there should be a name for this kind of game actually there is it's called crap there's a part where you get a gun but most of the enemies in this area are all birds and rats which are next to impossible to shoot the rats especially because they're too close to the ground did you think you can duck and shoot no you can't in the sewers most of the gaps are too wide to jump get over there get over there you know what you [ __ ] game I banged your mom the part I hate most of all is the hospital you're racing down the halls and there's a naked guy chasing after you if he catches you it's game over why is he naked anyway I know why he's naked because he has no clothes on and what are these things health no in any real game a white container with a red cross on it is always health but not in this piece of [ __ ] here they slow you down and you're in the middle of the screen giving you no time to react it's over I don't know I guess they have a closing statement while viewed on its own merits it is non derivative it's John rue however what it has an originality it lacks and fun though it tries to bear the mantle of a problem-solving thinking game it speaks less to the brain and more to the anus I don't know it's it's it's one of the most brutal most unforgiving worst games I ever played it's so bad it goes beyond analysis and I've critiqued so many games I don't even know what to say anymore [Music] that's it it says it right there the game is telling me that it sucks that's all I need to say this game sucks that's the phrase it all comes down to that's where it all started this game sucks beavis and butt-head taught me everything I need to know you know what else they taught me change it yeah that's how you critique it you just say this sucks yeah you know when you eat rump roast are you like eating a cow's butt you know the word this is like [ __ ] spelled backwards or maybe it isn't maybe I should like play another game or something all right here's one on Super Nintendo I guess if we're like going 16-bit then you know yes yes lives it has lives and Wool you can duck this game is like easier to figure out it's just good or you don't gotta figure out what button what on I said what on you know gotta think in this game just move right and beat everything with a stick yeah beat that stick look at the birds taking a dump Hey look there's Daria diarrhea you can like switch between beavis and butthead but why and the other game they have their own health bars but this time they don't sometimes you can do co-op moves like this but not that much no it's weird it has the same plot and almost all the same stages as the genesis version like the hospital and the high school but they're different so they made the same game but it's not the same game wouldn't have been easier to like make the same game once instead of make the same game twice or something I'm like dead [Music] you still got to put the password in to keep playing okay put in the password in let's go [Music] no lives health almost gone by I am the great cornholio honey's TP for my bunghole fire fire fire fire fire fire dr. Turner - Turner - dirt dirt dirt doctor doctor [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] as a kid one of my favorite series of children's books was that Berenstein bears it's been passed on as a tradition to every generation it began publishing in the 60s and continues to the present day it was about a family of bears living like an ordinary human family with common problems to overcome like sibling quarrels and the pressure of an overly busy schedule often it focuses on some kind of moral lesson like don't pollute don't eat too much junk food and don't watch too much TV other times it's just about a part of growing up like going to school going to the doctor or getting [ __ ] murdered by an evil bear with a chainsaw holy [ __ ] this is the craziest book cover they ever did they had their share of spooky stories and it would be fun to read them but I'm here to talk about the video games most people probably don't know there existed games based on the Berenstein bears and I gotta admit neither did I so my expectations are very low they can't disappoint too much right first let's check out extreme sports on gameboy color it's one of the clear cartridges indicating that it's exclusive for the gameboy color meaning it's not backwards compatible with the original Gameboy or the super Gameboy Super Nintendo adapter well it better be good then the title screen looks like ass the text is so sloppy I can hardly read it I think they made a typo so the concept is simple basically it's a bunch of sporting events like here's brother bear and a canoe but it looks more like the [ __ ] man with a giant dirty q-tip dirty because well you can imagine there's also sledding bike riding and skateboarding you race against the clock and try to pull off tricks without falling on your ass the courses all play the same way basically and they go by quick you could experience the whole game in less than 10 minutes it's even more basic than skate or die in fact it makes skater dye look like one of the Tony Hawk games this would have been alright if it was released on the NES in 1986 but it was released in 2000 late 2000 the graphics those bright solid colors they burn into your eyes the sledding stage is so white I bet if you stare at it long enough and then look away you'll still see the game there's no in-game music and the sound effects are on par with Atari 23 years of innovation gives us this yeah you hear that that's the distinct sound of bike tires grinding over a wooden bridge let's get the whole family involved that's right the whole bear family getting the line and hump each other as they spiral out of control down the slope well after all it is extreme sports this has got to be crazy right whoa it's a bunch of bears spinning around on a raft they're falling off the raft it's pretty extreme here know if this qualified as extreme sports I want to see the Bears in a spaceship shooting an atom bomb through a basketball net I want to see them rotting through a lot of a river with robot Cobras and nuclear sharks passing footballs to electric tornadoes that's extreme sports yes games extreme all right extremely shitty speaking of primitive let's go backwards in time you know they made a Berenstein bears game on Atari 2600 it's pretty interesting because whoa wait a minute Berenstain they totally [ __ ] up the spelling anyway what makes this game interesting is that it was made specifically for the sound 1 or kid vid voice module an audio cassette player that connects to the Atari this is back when video game companies were aware of the sound capabilities of games they made all these weird add-ons to give the games the capability of audible speech kind of reminds me of that other one you know the Intellivision until a voice voice synthesis module which included only 5 compatible games only five including b-17 bomber but you want to know how many of the kid vid had - there were only two [ __ ] games made for this piece of [ __ ] the Smurfs and Berenstein bears it was made by Coleco in 1983 it worked in a completely different way than the n' televise the obvious difference is that it used cassettes it was a crafty way at getting high-quality audio with voice and song to accompany your game but it was more than just an audio player it connected to the second controller poor acting somewhat like a controller the cassette tape contains signals which interacted with the game cartridge contained three different games each game had its own cassette you choose whichever cassette you want to play and that triggers the corresponding game from that point on the audio instructs you on what to do after you complete the task like making the Smurfs piss in the cup the game sends a signal back to the cassette player to advance the tape to be honest it actually works meaning it does what it's supposed to do I wonder if anything would happen if you put a [ __ ] Slayer tape in there now getting back to Berenstein bears the gameplay is as simple as you can get no matter which of the three cassettes you use it's basically the same thing you're trying to catch the correct numbers or letters out of a tree there's the big number hunt the great letter roundup and the spooky spelling bee and after all it is Halloween the bear went out he prayed for the moon give him life it sure looks like a spooky night doesn't it the grass is green the trees are lively it's the same graphics as the other two games how is this supposed to be spooky not even the words are spooky like mom dad ball dog half of them are numbers the closest that comes to spooky is maybe cat the first word is hat but you gotta love the quasi Boris Karloff impressions it's him sound how does a [ __ ] [ __ ] around Bela Lugosi the next word to spell this number Paul and Peter Lorre you can hit it bouncy punch it punch it around speaking of balls this game sucks well here's another one on Sega Genesis the Baron's hang hang the [ __ ] on that can't be the correct spelling I know for a fact it was Berenstein with an e not an a actually the most likely pronunciation would be baron Stein since it was spelled the same way like Frankenstein but everybody I ever met says Berenstein I can prove the spelling because I have one of the books yeah so as you can clearly see it spelled Berenstain Bear must be a new addition why'd they change the spelling I know it used to be Berenstein because the author's real names were standing Jan Berenstain I guess I was wrong my whole childhood was wrong anyway the berenstain bears camping adventure here we go the plot of the game is simple the bears go on a camping trip and the kids feel like wandering around on their own Papa Bear is fine with it pretty much I mean what's he gonna say watch for bears then you get a choice of stage they're all your typical side-scrolling action all of them involved hopping across platform stopping on animals to make them disappear bouncing on organic trampolines and navigating past little tricky dead ends you can get some weapons like rocks but man do the rocks blow how are you supposed to hit anything when it goes in an arc it's just like the rocks in Friday the 13th wow I pointed that out 10 years ago and now still I'm making the same exact complaints but I'll try to find some new interesting observations for you nope nope nope know what the problem is this game is actually pretty good but [ __ ] it can't make these jumps when brother bear squats he looks like he's forcing out of ya done that one to have an eye it's just a shitty habit there's a haunted forest stage which is a million times more thematic than the spooky Spelling Bee but the creepiest thing in the game isn't even on this stage it's from the cave what are these ghost things they freak me out looks like Godzilla's son what's happening I'm trying to pause the game and instead it's making sister bear strike these weird poses the pause button worked before but now it's what [Music] holy [ __ ] I think it's a glitch do you think it's a glitch I think it's a glitch this is the mother of all glitches [Music] is that you nerd me I'm you what's going on it's just a glitch oh okay it's just a glitch that explains it oh you must not be as familiar with this as I am see I'm from a different timeline and where I'm from I've seen this happen before when a game glitches this bad it causes a glitch in the matrix the matrix when reality is disrupted like this two separate timelines converge I'm from a different reality and by the looks of it a different point in time also its October 2006 ten years ago so you're from the past yeah but not the same past an alternate past right now I'm playing Friday the 13th yeah my first Halloween episode but it's different in this timeline Jason killed me don't kill me kill me but you're alive no I'm dead trust me I'm in hell it doesn't look like hell it looks normal like you're just playing the game exactly I'm playing the game it's hell same thing and that now wait you're in the past you're in another dimension and you're in hell too yeah but it's the hell of this dimension whoa once you get into sub dimensions and [ __ ] it gets complicated but look there's no time to explain all that right now because if we end up talking too long the two dimensions might end up swapping and we don't want that to happen so it's best you hit reset okay yeah so just go back to that game whatever it is ference tain bears oh you mean Berenstein bears no apparently it's Berenstain well Berenstain is how I always remembered it but in my dimension it's actually spelled Berenstein anyway by now no that's impossible that didn't happen [Music] berenstain bears conspiracy theory it's on the internet that means it must be real [Music] the mandala effect false memories are proof of a parallel universe some people think it had to do with Time Traveler's setting off the butterfly effect but no matter what the theory everybody remembers Berenstein I'm not alone faulty memory is one thing but how could so many people be wrong I know it was Berenstein I saw what I saw and the only way to prove it is with my own childhood books [Music] I haven't been back to my old childhood home in decades but I'm sure those books are still in the Attic [Music] [Music] [Applause] now it can't be [Music] is the same books I remember the torn page the mustard mark the shitstain these are my old books but it was spelled stained it was spelled Berenstain spelt Bernstein Bernstein you shouldn't have come here get away now it's just trying to prove the Berenstein bears or spell with an e I know so it's true it's true in your native universe what go there's no time to explain give me the quick version I need answers then I'll go there exist many universes with infinite little minor differences the universe you come from it was spelled Steen at some point between your childhood and now you and a lot of other people unknowingly crossed over into this universe where it is spelled stained that's only one example of many other things that people blame on bad memory so these aren't my childhood books they are but they're your childhood books from this universe the ones you remember are still in the other universe so I can't get to them no these undetected interdimensional crossovers happen all the time nobody can truly go back to their childhoods it's all different now like Ninja Turtles on NES admit it you liked that game as a kid it was until you grew up you changed your mind and thought it was [ __ ] did you ever think maybe it was good you didn't change they game change [ __ ] my god like where I come from Double Dragon 1 & 2 sucked 3 was the good one no way yeah only thing it had that weird typo Billy and Jimmy how'd they make a mistake like this Billy isn't even a real name we all know it's Billy and Jimmy no [ __ ] way how about those bears are you from the steen or stain universe neither now I've told you everything you need to go one last thing why are you here I'm one of the rare individuals to find a way to hop between dimensions to find the universe I came from I wanted to go back but it's all in vain with two of the same person or in the same universe creates a paradox the only way to restore balance one of them has to die I killed you [Music] holy [ __ ] and I killed you again and again and again but I'm done running I'm here to be sacrificed sacrificed by who the ones who will restore balance if I don't myself they're coming for me get out of here save yourself in my universe it's not Berenstein or Berenstain it's blood-stained [Music] these are the real bad news bear [Music] [Music] you've decorated the tree you've hung the lights you've made the lists typed up by all those commercials and catalog pages all those hot new video games you got to have but this is the giving season right yeah giving your parents money to KB's and kitty city or if there is a magical place in the North Pole where Sega and Nintendo products are being manufactured on drifting sheets of ice then Santa better get his fat ass down the chimney and give me the presents now dude I got the brand news key how'd you do it I stole them from Santa thanks to my disguise I put on this costume from the 2003 smash a movie elf so awesome let's open it all right the Sega activator the full bike and toilet lets you jump into the action it gives you the ultimate edge for those hot new fighting games get totally physically involved man at first you won't see the advantages of the activator but then it'll hit you [Music] eight panels fire infrared beams so that every punch kick and move is transformed into the action on screen get into the game and become the characters [Music] yeah [Music] I can't even move [Music] imagine playing the you force while standing up and using your whole body that's what this is I can't believe the box actually says better than standard hand controllers what were they thinking [Music] me try Streets of Rage - yes that's my autobiography [Music] [Music] have another one's alright it's opening Wow the aura interactor what the hell's that well it's a new radical virtual reality force be back Rumble we're using electromagnetic actuator technology well [ __ ] yeah low-frequency sounds are transmitted into the interactive power amplifier converting them into gnarly vibrations that means you can now finally feel like you're in the game I've always wanted to feel the punches kids explode and more [Music] how are you supposed to do a hot Dukan with this thing so Keith how's the interactor this wicked man alright let me try this [Music] [Music] [Music] oh my god what it is in this one Oh totally tubular it's the TV golf [Music] Wow [Music] you eat it that's for golf here you turned off Sonic Christmas offense [Music] well it works [Music] the victor max virtual reality stun master Wow now we can really feel like we're in the game wow it's a wire squid how do we hook this up it's easy set the mode switch the adapter connects the cable assembly the multi out jack connects to the video output on the back your Sega Jessa's model 1 the cable assemblies controller jack connects to the first port on the front of the console the other control jack connects the controller the power jack connects to the power output which connects the AC adapter which plugs into the wall that means the video signal the AC power and the controller all share the same wire that is crazy you're really chugging some gigabytes thing weighs a ton that's why you need to victor max tracking tube included with the stunt master for maximum stabilization Wow what is it it's a busted stick you just clip it like this and that's it like so and now you've optimum support great they really figured this out also the movement of your head controls the action from left to right though wow that's some advanced [ __ ] there's a force in this universe all you have to do is get in touch with it stop thinking let things happen be the ball [Music] whoa [Music] it's a batter up baseball bat give me that [Music] I have the ultimate bodily reflexes ah thing is murder on my eyes pumped it's stuck let me try that [Music] oh what's that oh see does take a minute sir can you look more menacing man yeah [Music] the only game good for a man right I'll be right back [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] want some more angry video game nerd the DVD collectors set is available 9 DVDs containing 139 episodes and bonus content DVD number 9 is the newest it picks up where the last one left off and has some awesome new extras and behind-the-scenes footage on blu-ray we have the epic Angry Video Game Nerd feature film with surround sound and if you want to have a marathon of the first 100 episodes they're all on the nerd volume x blu-ray - new blu-rays are coming very soon nerd volume x - and bore james the complete series any episode shot in HD are presented in HD all blu-rays and DVDs are able to play worldwide none of that region coding [ __ ] also we have t-shirts t-shirts t-shirts all on amazon see all product links in the description below and have an awesome holiday season oh my god I just found an old trailer for a lost film called flying [ __ ] or knots versus the Astro bastards and this would have been a phenomenon in the world of cinema this is the kind of stuff I want to see this is what life's all about now I don't need to say anything else just sit back and watch in the year 2000 the year 2050 in the year nine million and nine I have to talk to new life-forms on this planet let us make contact the [ __ ] knots intergalactic horndogs warriors of procreation spreading their seed throughout the far reaches of space the Astro bastards forsaken offsprings of the [ __ ] knots rebel Wrath child's preparing for war the conquest of our deadbeat dads mus and they [ __ ] our ancestors resulting in the rest of our generations getting [ __ ] now we're so [ __ ] up in pursuit to the [ __ ] nots the astral bastards embark on a cosmic [ __ ] captain which course shall we take to intercept the [ __ ] knocks I'll just follow the clacking Positioning System yes captain two parsecs it's taking us through an asteroid why did you drop diving [Music] when science meets senselessness the future becomes obsolete prepare the shields prepare full-on torpedo attack [Music] [Music] [Music] we are receiving a signal from an oncoming vessel they are requesting visual communication agree to it no negotiations fire yes captain fine [ __ ] nuts versus destro we are sorry we'd like to call a truce may we beam aboard to bring you a gift [Music] that was the biggest [ __ ] I ever took the search for intelligent life may never end [Music] [Music] seat wet monkey [ __ ] and done they're [ __ ] a triple [ __ ] up Oh feature my favorite is monkey [ __ ] this city is fun [Music] the following program contains disturbing material that may be inappropriate for younger viewers parental discretion is advised [Music] tonight on America's most mysterious a series of murders near the northern Louisiana state line raises an unusual theory locals believe the victims were killed by a supernatural creature that roams the area he lurks in the forest and he only emerges when he's summoned and I have a way to do that is that you have to travel a very specific route if you look at the United States map and highlight Minnesota Iowa Missouri Arkansas and Louisiana it outlines unique shape that some say resembles a human figure or an elf Minnesota is the Hat the bolts right here on Iowa that's the nose Missouri is the belly and Louisiana is the foot if you combine the state names into an acronym it spells metal men will the elf is is a geographical icon and in school my teacher taught me this is kind of like a cute way to learn that to remember all the names of the states but what they don't teach you is that if you travel through the states in a direct path then will will appear and take your life it's it's a it's an interesting story it's you know scary and it makes the ladies laugh sightings of men will date back to 1789 when a coach full of supplies traveling down the west side of the Mississippi River disappeared why else would these railroad workers be found mutilated just after laying down the tracks in the same direction I mean early surveyors noticed that people who are taking this north-to-south route just they weren't surviving they made they mapped out different routes along just to see how far you had to stray from this path in order to live and and by 1858 the shape of Memel was established you know a lot of people think that the states are divided by rivers and and you know arbitrary boundaries but it's it's not a coincidence on March 3rd 1993 Robert Jones captured this image on videotape is this a hoax or could it be the only known existing footage of memo exactly what I saw was an elf the alleged sighting coincides with the murder of David Brown and Linda Thomas investigations conclude that they were dragged for the vehicle and stabbed to death at approximately 3:15 p.m. minutes before Robert says he recorded his tape the miles of the odometer and the receipts found in the glove compartment suggest that they drove through all the middle states could it be a coincidence or were they the victims of a magical serial who's going to drive this path to disprove it anyway I mean I would like to know that you know the way that my grandfather told with me no one's ever done it no one's ever made this track before we're gonna be the first people this is legendary on December 1st 1998 newlyweds Richard and Patricia Miller departed Minnesota heading southbound on the infamous path it started out as a great journey a great piece of Americana the road trip I mean is there anything better Niagara Falls we could have gone to Niagara Falls that's really important I thought it would be a fantastic gift for her or a honeymoon something that we could share a story that we could have a journey that we could go on for the rest of our lives well first off I felt like those places were a little bit cliche I'd been to Hawaii you've been Hawaii yes graduate it's terrible there's the you know hypodermic needles wash up you know really I've seen it I'll forward you I googled it one time I will forward you the article it's you're basing this off of a Google search what was your search like I I searched hypodermic needles in Hawaii you know as we're as we're moving along through the states I really got more and more excited and I thought that she would grasp onto something and this is our honeymoon this is not like a bored Thursday night and the destination is Louisiana and that's it the destination was Louisiana but little did they know it would be her final destination I would like to assume that you still have something up your sleeve we made it we did I got a piece as Patricia waited for his return she contemplated if this would be the end of their relationship but it just so happened to be the end of so much more [Music] [Applause] for a half second I think maybe she's pulling my leg she's trying to get back at me for whatever and I turn and he's there [Music] and and he made eye contact it and it was it was murder that's the only thing certain you know he'd just taken from me the one thing besides my grandfather the one thing that I really cared about the one thing in the world that I want to share the this journey with as investigations continue richard insists she had come face to face with the fluffy nightmare with bells when we come back cryptozoologist analyzed the double tape and another sighting leaves police baffled when America's most mysterious continues introducing color free our right to the address side internationally for the sportiness work out the right way nobody wants them [Music] [Laughter]

Channel: Cinemassacre

Views: 3,705,573

Keywords: angry video game nerd season 10, avgn season 10, angry video game nerd full season 10, avgn full season 10, angry video game nerd season ten, avgn season ten, angry video game nerd full season ten, avgn, angry video game nerd, avgn full season, angry video game nerd full season

Id: Jt_5O4cJGMg

Length: 98min 20sec (5900 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 09 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/SixlitereaterSRT]

"The fucking nerd"

[u/mrjoejameswwefan]

MIMAL is a AVGN Ep?

Loved Every episode from this season

[u/OD2095]

Pretty happy about this. Like 90% of my time in youtube is just watching AVGN over and over.