Andrew Santino's PERFECT Impressions: Bill Burr, Jordan Peterson & Joe Biden

[Music] [Applause] live from New York City it's flagrant with special guest appearances from Bill Burr the Bottom's gonna drop out it's your [ __ ] money Jordan Peterson well you know honestly we have to look at all how can you be born a man and claim to be a woman but tell me how Andrew scientifically it does not make sense and Joe Biden what are we gonna do about Ukraine Mr President well you gotta you gotta understand part of the reason I've never been on a yet you know growing up in Connecticut black smell funny and now for your host Andrew Schultz what's up everybody Welcome to flagrant and today we are joined by um wow man wow are you the king L.A bro I mean look it's it's TV you've got a new season of Dave coming today March in mid-march coming out you got movies house party house party that's a big one movie with Kev movie with Kevin Hart on a show movie a Netflix show with Ali Wong that comes out Netflix then you got the Netflix special yeah January 10th January 10th you got no documentaries made about you nope that's good yeah no yes [Laughter] just for me Chinese New Year you're gonna move to [ __ ] wow wow sticking in them to Chinatown Wow Let's go to Chinatown I got two places me and Gillis are splitting a building in Chinatown what are you guys planning on doing I don't know you'll find out man hey I like it come on down are you no it'll be fun uh I'm gonna come in May uh mid-may because Bobby and I are touring we're doing a bad friend's tour uh March and April what is the bad Friends tour okay we're not it's not up yet it's not all the dates artificial yet but me and him are doing individual stand-up chunks like we're both going to do stand up I think we each want to do 20 or 30 minutes yeah 20 minutes is really fun and then we're doing we're doing a full production of the show like with people from the show with bits from the show the audience gets to interact and all that stuff so it's like a fully immersive bad friends live but it's not for the internet we're not recording it you're not going to be on the episode but it's like a bad friends live episode with some of the bits that we've done over the past two years that people will get to go see when you say some of the bits what do you mean by that like we do we have we we always make Bobby put on a dress and do script readings and stuff like that from his famous from famous scenes and films that he loves so people will get to pick and be able to come read a scene with Bobby and get coached by Bobby so this is stuff like that this will be really smart it's little chunks from the show that fans have loved over the years yeah um and Bobby's actually we're gonna have a I don't know if you guys do you know he's a legit musician do you know this no like he's actually very tall I mean I assume you play violin or something like that [Applause] one single string Hummer you know he uh dude he can he can reach he really can he's he's he can play piano dude he's piano makes sense yeah piano should yeah that's that's par for the course but he can do live songs and he wants to do music so he's gonna play the music 100 too so I think this awesome because I was waiting for somebody to figure out the live podcast I'm not trying to hate on people but like I hate when people just do the podcast in front of yeah we never want he did that we never could do that we've tried it one time in LA it just doesn't work it didn't feel right I've done it I've done it with brilliant idiots and it the most fun part of it is when you have the back and forth with the audience like a question answer and then there's that engaging fun kind of live almost like crowd work feel but just having a conversation with the audience expecting something it's not a [ __ ] Jordan Peterson presentation here you know what I mean like you know honestly we have to look at all that stuff how can you be born a man and claim to be a woman tell me how Andrew scientifically it does not make sense in those videos the funny is how much that cat cries he cries constantly yeah every other video is gonna be like I'm dead serious about this he's like he's like I only eat meat he's like he's like guy who balls every time he's on air uh dude it's so hard it was hard for us to figure it out genuinely of how to do it yeah and we learn fast when we had production meetings about it without Bobby of course I was like there are threes he's like when are we doing it yeah I'm like we did it it's over we would talk about the best bits we liked from the show and the best bits that fans kept commenting on or bringing back and it always came down to us doing interactive [ __ ] with them yeah we're like how much more can we get them involved 100 so that's going to be hard I mean it's a big coordinated effort we're going to be having to pull people and we have you know people that are working for us that are going to organize it to physically get people on stage because you have to be you have to be good about it you have to be good about it but how did how did Bobby take it when you told him you were going to replace him with Theo he was stoked yeah man [ __ ] gotta move on dude yeah I hope I have to work in between Theo's uh alligator wrestling schedule [Laughter] not as good as a chalky Moon that's another guy out there yeah of course yeah but he but uh Bob and I are gonna work it out and then when I come to New York he's gonna come out here for a little while and then shoot out here oh really yeah he doesn't know it but that's gonna happen he doesn't have a choice but I wanted to come out here because I wanted to just dip out for a little while La is just different now what does that mean what does that mean everything you're the king bro everything is [ __ ] it's your fault it's just yeah yeah it's not my fault dude I was just left the castle burned down that was the last cat like what happened you gotta build it back up this is my opportunity we're trying but it doesn't feel like you're trying Bobby's in Hawaii every other week you're never nowhere I'm never there because because you don't want it it's segmented you don't want it nah dude you don't want that I don't want it the problem is [Laughter] it just feels like everyone's got a gun out there is no sense of community we talked about this before the show and it doesn't feel like doesn't collapse I don't know bro yeah but but the problem that's what Joe did because everybody left fell in line but because they left now everyone kind of feels like they're in their own little competitive Circle because they're waiting for somebody to extend the Olive Branch man that's the Netflix special and maybe a couple movies with Kevin Hart yeah I need another one from Kev I don't know what Kevin you know we should call we can call him that is the thing I've noticed especially in like this in this career it's like everybody is naturally kind of out for themselves right because they have to work their entire life to get to this point right and they think that I'm not saying everybody thinks a lot of people think like oh if I'm helping this person if I'm using resources to help that person maybe I won't get thing I want right and the way Joe flipped on his head is he's like I'm just gonna help everybody and then it just made him so much bigger because it was almost like the Drake formula where it's like Drake puts on everybody and then everybody is Drake Drake is everybody's biggest The Tide Rises All Ships you know whatever yeah yeah let's all ship it it truly is now everybody but he was at uh the problem is like you need to reach a level where you're kind of one of the only ones on there and then go all right let's go I'm gonna pull everything level where you like sell out four shows at the Wilbur no no no no the level is the level is where you are you have so much of a history in comedy that's built in that you've built up where everybody kind of looks to you a little bit already like everyone kind of looked to Joe already to be like what is he doing on the next thing people think there's anybody that could do it like I know I know Sheffield loves helping people that sounds like yeah that sounds like an excuse coming from uh Andrew I think that sounds like an excuse me I'm not big enough you got to be a big enough because there's a lot of guys that are bigger than me in LA but they're not taking it like Jeselnik is is bigger than me and he's an LA guy and he's not that's not his thing you know shots fired is there anybody stealing jokes you got to call them out on stage continue the cycle yes imagine imagine they let men see you back into the store and I clip them again [Laughter] but also it's like there is something about that live in L.A that's so fragmented now well yeah everyone is kind of going their own way maybe now there's not okay like when there is a benevolent King everybody knows who is potentially their savior yeah right so everybody knows how to you know fall in line fall in line is kind of what it's like we were talking about this the other day about like stories but like essentially all like the stories in the Bible or something like that just reinforce the behavior of the tribe right it's like every story is like hey this is how you should act right this is how you should treat people by the way that's what that was that was white privilege Browns then Browns wrote that yeah so you guys started off this [Laughter] [Laughter] oh yeah uh that's a good point heaven on Earth baby you don't think he was tan he was dark he was dark but maybe he was black he was like Jeter cheetah you know you think he's kind of like him what about Al you think I Think Jesus could be like oh no me yeah with the shape up a little too much in the sun he might get it because it had to be somewhere in the middle it had to be like just tan I like how white people are willing to give Middle Eastern but they're like yeah for years it was like blonde hair blue eyes and I was like all righty Thomas because he pressed to me he could have been all of us he's not brown uh bronze skin and curly hair I don't see it I mean he literally is that yeah yeah look at that bronze I think he's dead look take off your glasses you're really splitting hairs here you're splitting curly hair bronze you're pretty close he's about as close to bronze as you can get yeah all right [ __ ] he will be anyways yeah no it is I think you look more like that point I'm saying is is the guy that everybody was looking to right was the guy who was the most generous and and so everybody was like all right well I better act accordingly like you know if I'm not generous I'm not gonna get on Rogan ever see me being shitty you know still doing it self-servingly but the king is setting a precedent where you're where everybody seems to be benevolent groups [ __ ] tone bro you're not moving to New York then I switched it up I'm staying because [ __ ] New York [Music] [Laughter] things need to change out there but I think it's just a time and comedy needs to shift again too we've talked what I've talked about this everyone talks about like what club is doing better or what club is doing the best well the store is always kind of a standby you know what I mean but like The Improv took a big dip and now the Improv is back a little bit but they all kind of go through these waves so does the city of Comedy it's just that's the way La has always operated because comedy in New York is uh and we don't have to [ __ ] go inside baseball enough some of these fans are like [ __ ] checking out but comedy in New York is Ever Changing with the this the city itself you're not attached to the business we still have a piece of us that are attached to the business so it's either part of it because he means like Hollywood it's part of our culture so like it's inherently going to affect who's doing stand-up and who's staying in La for a while and it changes the scene that doesn't happen here I mean it just doesn't not a part of the culture yeah yeah and whether or not it's like super deliberate it it just happens it ends up being a part of it 100 so I think that's kind of part of LA's growth Cycles are when it's humming and things are working and young people are getting up and getting more in Hollywood and their names become bigger and it helps the scene in La kind of grow and Thrive I also think part of the Rogan thing was because people who moved to LA you're like you said you're drawn to even if you're a comic you're drawn to show business in Hollywood yeah once Rogan popped up it's like oh maybe I can make money without that I don't need to cater to that yeah that was a that's a healthy way to think because he made it possible for people to even feel that way even if it wasn't going to be true maybe you need to remind them you know what I mean yeah I don't want to maybe you need to get some more bad friends is it also possible that uh people are more reluctant to get as close to one another because we don't know what their other people are doing in their projects I think it's less I think that I think it's document I think people think that yeah yeah the doctor I think I know what you mean but I think truly it's more about we're so self-serving as Comics everyone is selfish every comic you know is a selfish person oh yeah your degrees of selfishness are very but because we're self-serving that City makes you even more self-serving because I don't have to see you dude I can get in my car go to a spot and I can go home to my family and people can do that every night of the week see Schultz is sick oh sorry slick I can't even talk yeah but yeah I do what I do yeah there's only room for one New York Andrew that's why I like it I know you can't leave whoa we don't need to see each other now I need to do reverse psychology now I need to get you to New York oh yeah you know they made documentaries illegal here yeah they literally they need documentaries all right everybody hey I'm coming I'm moving I wanted to change though I do want to come here for a while because I want to feel something different for a while what do you want to feel I just want a new scene man I want a new I want to I want to do I want to work the clubs here and I also want a just a little bit different trying to find yourself you know yeah this is this is your India you know what this is this is you know what I've said before I'm 40 this year yeah oh [ __ ] I don't like midlife crisis I like midlife assessment you're reassessing where you're going and what you want I hate the term process I think it is it's a midlife it's not so [ __ ] old dogs it tasted life though this idea that like a guy reaches midlife and then starts buying like nice [ __ ] he's having a crisis it's it takes your whole life to have the money to buy it that's what it really is it's not a crisis no we have to buy things for ourselves you finally got it yeah I worked hard yeah yeah for [ __ ] 20 straight years it came to me so you can move to a real City well I want to move I want to earned it I want it because I want it because uh you're sick of them [ __ ] Jews running home that's what you said you can't say these things that's anti-semitic when you say that dude I I'm doing a good job I like all the movies I want to cut to like a commercial of you reading like a noping like I am not anti-semitic I pronounce anti-Semitism to all of my friends and brothers in the yeah please if I was leaving Hollywood because of Jews you think I'd move to New York it's like the worst move I've ever made you know Williamsburg baby yeah and walking into it no I I but I do think uh I just want to feel something different and also are you bringing the wife out are you gonna keep her out there no no no she stays in L.A you're a real man bro I know she's excited she's a real man dude yeah that's real man [ __ ] yeah you stay here what you wait for me baby how did you even break it to her like oh she's chained up whoa you know what I said you know what I said both cue the documentaries [Laughter] I actually asked her I said I said uh because we had some stuff in our family lives that affected us deeply that was real that personal stuff in our family lives both of our families some [ __ ] you know uh Bobby make fun of you about it because I saw a clip of that that was very insensitive yeah he's an insensitive piece of [ __ ] I talk about it in my special that my like my dad you know got diagnosed with cancer and it's gonna be okay but like it affected us in a way where we started to like type one type and I get into it okay but it was all like it affected us in a way where I was like oh [ __ ] I really want are we gonna see are we gonna see my um how many more times am I gonna see my dad you want to be you want to be yeah so I thought like maybe we want to let's change our lives to go in well you know I got skin cancer that's common no matter what you can't escape skin but it's like how many more years do I have left yeah with family with family as a whole just an idea so I was like do we want to be stuck out here or can we have more freedoms to go where we want to go and pull my family to different places Maybe no he's fine he's good so he's survived it he's going to be okay it's it he doesn't want to talk about it I have a no I have a lump on my testicle I've had it for years oh but that's fine is it the other ball yeah that's another thing you have to be careful with that it could just be they're supposed to be two oh yeah there's two balls yeah [Laughter] that's something we had to talk about on the tour that I was like dude you can't you can't show your little pecorino on the tour yeah it's illegal now it's illegal now that's documentary yeah for Bobby that's a short film it's an indie it's actually a con this year but no he but I told him I said because he loves to do mangina's he likes to tuck his balls in his ass that's fine see that's what I said I said that's fine as long as you don't show genitals but you can't turn around again the Bulldog then everybody here's the thing there is a length of Dick where it's more more funny than it is offensive inherently and if you have a big dick it's threatened it's an inverse relationship exactly yeah bigger dick you cannot show my dick hysterical exactly I've seen his data now also Bobby's dick is bigger than he presents it to me of course he presents it as a negative yeah because it's part of the it's part of the joke for him yeah I know it takes away about that and then he showed it to me and my first reaction was like your dick's way bigger than I thought have you seen a real micropenis that he like when he jokes about have you seen a real micropenis I saw him take a deep breath and I looked at like I had actually my [ __ ] my wife said she hooked up with a dude years and years ago and she goes down she go she goes to take his pants off yeah and he had a micro penis and she she was like like most people you're like it's a unicorn you're like this is it real yeah because I've never known anybody you feel like you would meet somebody at some point don't you love it when your wife makes up those yeah oh you were hook up with other guys one micropenis once yeah it was like she was like I felt so bad yeah because it wasn't she was like I there's not I played with it for a second but there's nothing you could do what do you did she rub it like a [ __ ] yeah you do two fingers on two or three fingers on no but she said she said this she knew she this must happen constantly every time that like girls back off a little bit and they just want to go kiss again or something and then he you know pushed her away and was like it's all right don't worry about it did this story come up um were you talking about like the biggest puss that you ever done well yeah I talked about walking into something I think one time we were doing that thing everybody's done that with your significant other or your wife or your girlfriend over at some point you're like you know I want to hear I want to hear some of the history for fun never no none of it give me a couple I want to figure it out yeah because I want to know how do you bring it up but you're at dinner did you like who have you had you had have you what have you straight outside died have you had [ __ ] something else have you ever licked a chick have you ever [ __ ] you know what I mean like the girl stuff [Music] your wife didn't [ __ ] anybody before you comedians or secure people no you don't want to know I know everybody everyone no one wants to know but you know it's a reality yeah I just want to [ __ ] I want I wanted to hear we were sharing at the beginning when we were first dating I wanted I was like you know what's your history like you know the number body count yeah it's like 109. check the Carfax bro that's crazy you just said one oh no imagine girl with triple digit body it's out there dude oh dude it just has to be out there yeah what do you mean it's probably out there way more than you know yeah no yes dude yeah yeah yes dude way more than you think uh when a girl says like 10 she means 30 pill you think they divided by three always a hundred percent oh they divide their number by three yes of course really yeah there's no way applying his number by three yeah sorry man whatever makes you sleep at night yo do you think you think that your girl has slept with three times the amount of guys she's told you [Music] yeah what are you gonna get out of there I just want to make sure she got good taste yeah let's make sure she got good taste imagine all the dudes previous were just some lame ass dudes and I'm like [ __ ] am I one of those yeah come on that's fragile yeah you can't even hear it might be more fragile I don't know that's weird I've hooked up with three girls yeah you don't believe in yourself enough I'm multiplying okay whatever we're all multiplying a little okay it's multiply by one it's still one so you don't think your girl has got the RIS unless she's hooked up with finer dudes than you not finer but you want to know that she's cut that she's interested in good stock yeah there's other redheads he's like oh thank God was I the only one oh yeah you don't like feet dude no I don't I don't want to be a fetish like a foot and I do love feet I [ __ ] with feet that's what I'm talking about you don't like feet nah bro oh get out of here bro I like grabbing this throw up right this guy wasn't no [ __ ] he wants to know all these guys in crisis and I've been like this since I'm young I almost hit a child it makes sense for kids when they're closer the feet you know what I mean I read a study about that people that babies climb on the floor and then you get inherently like uh attracted to feet over your mom's feet bro that's wow crazy bro [Laughter] you are on there without a doubt what does that mean Dave somebody took a picture of you while you were like on vacation and you put up on Instagram your feet I guarantee your feet are honest oh yeah I'm cool with that yeah but if you want to know what you're wearing yeah sorry you got nasty feet my left foot is horrible my right foot not bad see he's on the left telling you I knew he was on that [ __ ] easy bro I don't say hi ranking what do I got what is he 4.6 out of five oh pretty good I got it here bro put up current pictures of these foot let me see these ganglers my God that's not bad [ __ ] out of here no they're not nice dude these aren't you you know yourself you don't deserve that score what are you doing there bro what was that your black toe what was that that's how his foot looks no I had so I was I'm an athlete [Music] basketball I just [ __ ] stop stop too hard you know what I mean and then Jam my foot you guys wouldn't know about it I wear shoes every picture it is like I'm matching the shirt in the sandals what's wrong with that what's wrong with that yeah what's your score I don't know look at my rating just yeah let me check my ego yeah I'm surprised how high is gorgeous you look like you got hairy feet bro I'm now they're cleaning 4.99 wow King of New York come on baby oh let's go and your boy on the boat even looking fly on a [ __ ] boat with my foot cams out I don't really I'm not so many feet here I need to see a clear picture [Applause] with the Flies I don't see it man yo Mark you can't get the [ __ ] I'm trying to get it oh that's the Good Foot that's a good foot and I'm being cute with him too seriously flirting with you right now you go to the one in the Bulls jersey yeah oh my God whoa look at the stems on your boy you got a good foot dude I got a nice foot I got a good foot what do you want you like it just give it to him the stems are right the stems are right we're talking about feet that's a [ __ ] horse outside bro let it run he's a hater yo yo Andrew the stallion outfit 4.9 God blessed 4.85 than you do broccoli Asians should have that yeah yeah they're supposed to have really nice this is like their basketball yeah but they ain't break his [ __ ] to get it in the [ __ ] dance shoes I mean yeah these are real feet bro these are actually nice all right good for you let's move on moving on yo let's move on I'm tired of this no leave that picture up bruh what else all right guys we take a break for a second uh listen uh you know shipping costs are the number one cost of abandoning carts okay if you've ever left a cart with items in it in an online store it's because the shipping was too expensive you know it you've been through it and there are ways to reduce that shipping cost okay in a landscape where free and fast shipping is the norm it can be hard for smaller e-commerce businesses to compete you're not going to be able to compete with these crazy companies out there they're willing to just lose on the shipping cost until uh you get something competitive like ship station when you use ship station you can lower 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ship station use the promo code flagrant today at shipstation.com to sign up for your free 60-day trial that's shipstation.com promo code flagrant now let's get back to the show all right guys we'll take a break for a second because uh listen I gotta tell you all about Bluetooth you already see the lights you already feel the vibe it's hard dicks in here you know I mean on the couch on a single is hard dicks in here okay that's all it is if you're not in the room right now you don't got a hard dick hit the wide if you're not in the room right now you don't got a hard dick miles in the room you know what I'm saying brick yep bricked up okay it's Brick Squad in here miles got that keyboard just resting on his dick like an ancient weight you know you know how they used to what is that called a scale doesn't matter point is you want the hardest dick in the game is Bluetooth same active ingredients that's is Viagra Cialis but this is the truth it's the one we rock with okay so when we keep lady satisfied with married you know what I mean we out here ringed up she's up ringed up bluetooth.com you can get your first month free all you gotta do is pay five dollars shipping as long as you use that promo code flagrant simple as that God damn pretty good that's pretty great pretty great dick for free just shipping [ __ ] go get it bluetooth.com make sure you use the promo code flaker let's get back to the show kind of curious about this movie and what can you tell us from the movie and from the new season of Dave I'll tell you I can tell you this of the house party movie yeah I can tell you that uh it took a long time for them to shoot it the guy calmatic that shot it shot him cow cattle did that today white man can't jump um it was it was to do it was fun but my my reach in it is so tiny like I'm not as deep in it as I want to be I mean they put me in the whole [ __ ] trailer which scares me I was like I'm in the whole [ __ ] trailer and I'm like I'm not even in it that I'm not sure what's going on with the movie you know you can sue for that now shut up these guys just won a losses so Anna De armas or whatever that girl is whatever yeah um she she was in a trailer for a movie that she got cut out of and somebody bought tickets to go see the movie and then she wasn't in it so they sued to get the money back so you can sue the company if they cut you out of this movie no I'm in it for sure she sued for fifteen dollars no she didn't no the the ticket buyer the ticket buyers yeah the guy I want my 15 yo just call yeah go through a lawsuit before you [ __ ] loser yeah yeah yeah you would do dork that's that's like some cheap [ __ ] no I don't call customer service are you cheap oh my God why are you so cheap what's the deal um yeah it's part of the thing there it's part of the same thing but but like cheap how like relative to you ever pick up a tab yeah I'll do that like if you guys go out together yeah I don't even care about being a freeloader I hate that yeah so I will make sure to try to I probably try to overcompensate with like let me pay and it's all that's an Indian thing too fighting over the bill probably most immigrants but like when the bill comes out I want to pay I want to pay on the pay like I don't know what that is are you able to treat your parents or they will never let you pay they will if I buy my mom a gift she will actively go return it she'll like find a way to get the money back I bought her a purse that was outside the return window yeah I gave it to her after 30 days took it back where about your dad [Laughter] I bought her a BMW 330i my mom I'm not gonna say her age because it's no one's business but she has never had a new car her whole [ __ ] life Wow and I decided I I talked to my business manager I was like I need to buy my own new car she's never had a new car did you do a whole thing like keys in the Box go outside bow on the car what I did with a bow was on the car I got a video of it but I I what happened was I uh I told him I went and bought the car when I went back Chicago and I put it at a family friend's house and I said to my mom on Christmas Day I said I'm gonna go get coffee because you don't have any coffee and she's like there's no [ __ ] coffee shops open in the neighborhood and I was like yes there is and I found one because of that so when I went I took her car and then I came back and I was like I [ __ ] hit an embankment it was snowing in Chicago I was like I slid the car into embankment and our car was like oh seven uh and she was like that's great so I was like no it's wrecked she's like so I was like Mom I [ __ ] up your whole car and she was like I don't give a [ __ ] do you want eggs or not I was like come look at the car that's [ __ ] up in the garage at some point I was like pissed off and my dad's like how bad is it I'm like shut the [ __ ] up like he's the worst actor he's like how bad could the accident have been I'm like yeah you don't look bad at all you look I was like Dad [ __ ] so I was like come look at it and then finally she drug out to the garage and I had you know swapped out her car and my Dad pulled out his car and it was just her car with a big red bow on it in the garage and what'd she do water works man she was really she couldn't believe she was she was like happy and then angry then annoyed because she's like why would you [ __ ] do this yeah why would you buy me a new car but she's never had anything brand new and nice ever her whole life yeah so had to lacer up with them now here's the the real important question yeah it made me feel good dude how did the wife take it when you told her you're gonna buy your mom a brand new car she was like she got a new car she got a brand new car too there's always an agility everybody gets a car you'll get a car you'll get a car yeah no she it was it was a she knew dude she knew like she was super happy about it [Laughter] my mama 2023 whatever yeah it's gonna be a conversation yeah it's gonna be a conversation lace the wife up first she already has a car that she loves so that that was no that was no problem but it was she's never had a new car she's always like had this thing about little beam a little three series you know she loves little tiny threes here she just bangs around town she doesn't go that far in him yeah so she's always talked about it so I got her little 330i with the m package on it so it's got all the sports [ __ ] she don't know what to do with that M package yeah no she honestly she she loves it she I mean she's always driven as fast as she can go and I was like no you'll actually be able to drive quick in like a fun little tiny you know compact car I'm always curious about that do you get your dad a gift after he didn't get [ __ ] let me tell you what my dad got for real he does something quiet the greatest gift give her the sport mode in Milwaukee see you later he got he got um he got a a gift card to Tommy Bahama he's like this is perfect I gotta there's a wing place near the house I got him a gift card to the wing joint and he was like this is amazing this is the [ __ ] best Christmas in my life you can't buy from my dad it's him it's every dad there's nothing you cannot buy for dinner they like well they don't need it they wouldn't want it and even if you're like this is a cool new piece of technology they're like you know that's technology is a waste of my time yeah yeah my dad's iPad is from is the second generation the second one they ever made yeah and it'll call me and be like the screen doesn't flip to the next screen I'm like yeah because that's yeah that's not an iPad it's made in 2008 so yeah you just have a you have you just have a little piece of old technology yeah that you don't need to use anymore [Laughter] so he doesn't get anything he doesn't want anything but it was it was like nice to for the first time in my life I thought you know like you you hear Like Rappers talking about buying their mom's houses or cars and [ __ ] yeah and for the first time I was like this is as close to a rapper as I'll ever be how long before your mom uh complained about something to you oh the only thing that scares her is because she's older older yeah is that the technology in cars now is bananas her car's from 08. it's like yeah the tech now that's an Obama dude it's it's [ __ ] here this the screen is three and a half feet long she has no [ __ ] idea how to do any of that yeah the touch screen it's nuts yeah I mean it's like for her her car has a CD player and a tape deck still in the [ __ ] thing she doesn't it's like all that [ __ ] is so new that was daunting so I set her up at the dealership to do they give you like they hire 20 year olds now at car dealerships to give old people Tech lessons like how the apples are like a Genius Bar at the [ __ ] party yeah for real so this young girl this nice girl went in the car with my mom for an hour went through all the [ __ ] my dad's in the back like a door taking notes you know he's like now the this when you set the speed it'll automatically and I'm like dude will you [ __ ] stop you're [ __ ] because already they're overwhelmed with information yeah yeah and you don't need all that [ __ ] and by the way I told my mom you'll use none of it yeah that's the problem with new cars yeah I have all sorts of [ __ ] on my car I've never used any of the things that's the scary part is that you're looking at your parents you're like these guys they don't understand technology and you're probably like four years away from that 100 just wait till your back seizes up sometimes it's actually funny because you're an old soul the first time I think we ever heard you I just called you old again he called you old on the inside yeah so now you've got nothing left your own already on the outside but you can't even be young no the outside looks good outside of the botox is holding up no it's good it's good I'm confident I'm holding it together you've held on to your 30s for like 20 years like at 20 you exactly and now at 40 you still look in there yeah they're holding on perfectly God bless you yeah no it's beautiful first time we ever hung out we were talking and he goes well he's like about to tell me a story he's like oh yeah by the way how old are you at the time I was like 25 I was like I'm 25 he goes okay and it goes and talks to someone else completely I was like I can't talk nothing to say yeah something adult-like it's probably adult conversation like what happened your wife been dogged up by anyone [Laughter] who's talking about some man [ __ ] I don't know I don't even remember what we were talking about but I remember when he said that I was like oh that can't have them yeah I'm good conversation with this [ __ ] but of course I could because I love him to death I was just like he's an old soul too yeah he's way old shoulder than me bro you're [ __ ] 55 yeah you're you're you already live on the island somewhere I'm trying to get a rant dude he looks like a dude that made a [ __ ] load of money in like music licensing or something and he lives in Saint Barbara I made a jingle for like Arby's right exactly anyway that was my [ __ ] yeah you know the one yeah but seriously though that's what I feel your energy is like you already did it like he feels like uh like you already lived it in another life so you get to calm down and grow into it slower oh wow yeah like when I was 25 when you were 25 our energy was way different than this Restless yeah we were we were I mean it was like chaos and it was wrong because we were all too hungry at that age you were like what can I do how do I get to the thing we're just trying to get [ __ ] Andrew I think that's really all I wanted was all I wanted was to like you I wanted the business I was like how the [ __ ] do I get on how do I get another how do I get to the thing how do I get I was so concerned were you married no dude no no six years ago psycho nah dudes dudes and chicks no not dudes you wouldn't hook up a dude you ever kissed a guy actually in any capacity okay for a roll 20 23. you know [ __ ] come on no would you would you would you go game for a role here's the funny thing no [Laughter] no they won't even let you we won't let you oh yes yes they made me gay for a roll yeah where you belong s soft and they go oh yeah they won't let you play they wouldn't let me play gay because because because the internet would be gay you play what is it called when you're you're really gay but you don't yeah no man the problem is the internet now would be like how why would you hire a straight guy to play a gay guy when there's plenty of gay actors that we yeah but those actors are out now the problem is they don't want you in those things anymore they don't want play closet you can play closet I could play Oh I could play out nah dude you could never play out you don't believe me as a gay guy you dude you don't believe me as a gang I believe you Jordan Peterson never be a gay guy I'll be gay right now dude don't even try it [Laughter] your dick on a podcast you're gay now what no you can't you can't you can't you I'm telling I'm being no joke they won't let you be a straight guy who's playing gay because they'll light you up online for being cast when there's other actually gay men what about a closeted guy maybe but I'm I'm saying it would be it Hollywood is like so concerned with the backlash of like oh you're not you're not Pakistan you're Indian does that bother you that you can't play gay roles you seem very upset by this a little bit pissed off yeah it limits my scope like what have I been training for yeah man but would I do it yes would you play brokeback where you gotta like tongue down no and that's not me being homophobic I just don't [ __ ] it that's not I don't want that's not it for me I love that I'm gonna go with that it's just not it for me and that's okay but not in what way your cheeks to just get clapped like let's just say for example the guy's grabbing your belt yeah your belt's still the belt is still on around your waist and then he just clapped in cheeks but he's not really [ __ ] you but you could feel his dick slapping against you if it was if it was funny enough yeah no not funny Romance I'm making funny as [ __ ] though yeah it's a horrifice don't let him have it no you know what I wouldn't play I wouldn't I would do if it was if it was wild enough in creative and crazy yeah I would try anything but like I don't know it that's never gonna happen I'm telling you Hollywood has this you cannot do what you aren't what's that technique where you like you live it method method would you go method with it like for that month you're just gay and smoked out and yeah we do it for a couple months they'd let you be gay if you're gay for a couple months you think I'm coming to New York for a while what are you talking about bro don't pull away I think I'm coming to New York I want to do I want to do some I would love to do like a big deep character while like a character like everyone gave [ __ ] to that dude for doing Dahmer I would have [ __ ] loved to do that really oh that kid's a great actor yeah that was fun as [ __ ] that's how you if you buried me in that [ __ ] yeah I would have loved to do that and would you do method 100 I'd be killing gay guys I did his honors show people got mad because people were like you're glorifying uh a man who killed gay people it's like well he was gay he was just a serial killer he just so happened he killed people that he loved that he was interested in what's the difference it's like it wasn't a glorification it was a real [ __ ] story what do you mean you glorified it they glorified people got they got clapped for the days yeah no no the people said dude Netflix glorified gay murder you're like bro that's a real tale it's not like they made up that he just went after a game Netflix glorifies a lot of murder do they know that that's like Netflix when it gets into like a gay or a minority category the the lens goes deeper and they're like what are you really trying to say you're like that's right that's what he did that's not what Netflix is trying to say also Netflix again dude I love the way his Cadence was like just sit down on the bed I made you a sandwich oh dude I loved he was so good man he was so like balanced and calm but I would do some [ __ ] like that I would do some like weird character like what's the dream role do you want to play a famous person no unless unless the famous story was it is one of the easier ways to get an Oscar is to play somebody that we've all already seen George Washington so when you and you're great at imitating to him yeah Kanye I could do him yeah yeah I mean I looked a little bit like that guy but is there like a guy where you go I would want to play and you're great at impersonating so we would be blown away by it I don't think there's I don't know if there's who's a famous enough redhead for me to to well they could dye your hair dude yeah that's an imagination everybody can see through that you dye your hair you're not natural Redden no this yeah probably was not gonna let that natural redhead dude everybody knows if you're not natural redhead look at your eyebrows your eyebrows are mostly Brown of course this is my [ __ ] hair color Santino your method come on dude what is that dude is it I think it's a [ __ ] bro I think you got a little [ __ ] down there dude I guess technically yeah you didn't look at his pubic hairdos yeah the respect bro I can't be caught up he can't be caught yeah because why well what do you think there's a difference people can't be caught looking at another man he's dressed like a flamingo they're also vibrant yeah come on but they're afraid of being gay why is that because today is Easter baby we do this because but he doesn't look either because he can't he can't have the internet see him doing that ah it's more about what people think it's perception it's not what he feels he doesn't care I don't want to see a [ __ ] either those guys all the time when you meet them that's your thing they'll walk up give them a hug feel your dick against them give me a kiss on the nose when I walk down there it is how have you been right on my whole bunch of kids five kisses yeah why you gotta tell everybody to act like you're not interested when he just brought out the pubes that was crazy of you you shave your pubes down a little bit I trim them down you have to are you okay why do you have to is that a Hollywood thing yeah is that yeah that's part of it dude welcome to a meeting you have to show your pubes you keep it you don't trim it at all no I do I do I do it yeah it's not this I want to you do it for her yeah I do it for me oh really I think it's nice and tidy I like to clean it up so if I'm feeling everything very late with that yeah it feels it feels better to me when it's nice and tidy when it's loose and nuts when I let it go too much it overgrows it looks [ __ ] gross yeah I don't like it it makes you feel better about yourself well when I'm jerking off I'm just like what am I doing yeah [ __ ] what are you talking about really you don't jerk off anymore almost never he stopped doing it almost never because no I just don't do it his sex drive your testosterone is long yeah that's mainly yeah that's the problem yeah I I I I think my jerk off schedule has gone down when as I've gone older but I'm I still gotta [ __ ] like every day no what the [ __ ] what am I 16 I'm trying to understand I'll jerk off probably once a week oh uh what are you more than that well you're more than that calm down he over here once a week I'll jerk off a week yeah once a once or twice a week it's barely jerking off dude no don't double it up to twice once or twice a week is that's that's normal for me because I'm [ __ ] her the other day so it's like I don't what I mean yeah like how many times a week you said [ __ ] her the other days just so in case she's listening she doesn't get any ideas I'm [ __ ] this guy well how many times how many times you [ __ ] jerking off a week I don't jerk he doesn't jerk off how much times a week less than most people right nah sometimes you can never jerk off maybe once every other week what is going on in here yeah well we all have wives yeah yeah you don't need to jerk off once in a while I mean I'm not hanging around with Dave all the time he said there's two shots of Jews dude he did it at the beginning no he's not Dave is Jewish no I don't believe it I don't [ __ ] buy it Dave bird it doesn't sound Jewish yeah it does not it does not Dave Burr what's the last name from Philadelphia no no no no no I called him out and I said dude I don't buy it I don't buy it oh you think they let me in a couple of Secrets I was like okay okay that's a [ __ ] Jewish you leave coins around they'll start chewing on them that's how you know yeah they'll start just nibbling and it's nuts are they telling you it's real or is it is a flavor that they like what's the deal not a should I tell them I don't know give them a little peek under the hood just uh reminds me well they can taste where it came from they know it's entire they do like a 23andMe they know yeah yeah yeah that's what they call it the mint that's true yeah all right do you wish you were an avatar dude I know a guy that's in that [ __ ] movie and I see his house he lives in my neighborhood and I think he uh what the checks that he cashes from being in that [ __ ] movie which guy his name is Joel David Moore you ever see Grandma's Boy yeah of course oh he's the he's the top yeah I love that guy he's so funny man yeah he was an avatar and every time I see him I'm always like what the [ __ ] does that pay you out a year because it's and that's an endless stream of residuals from he's in Avatar one yeah no he's in both he's in both yeah he's in both yeah I got to see a picture that's where that's when you when you that's the proverbial lottery in Hollywood someone's like you hit the lottery it's [ __ ] like that where you're like I'm part of a franchise well because you but but you became one of the ones that's like forever embedded in the history of film like you'll never not make money on that phone number oh he was in DodgeBall too he's a funny guy very funny he's so [ __ ] okay how is Hollywood reacting to Avatar have you seen it yet no okay I want to know about Hollywood reaction to it but first before I just want to talk about for a second it is the reason why we go to the movies I saw it avatars yeah but regardless of if you like the story or not like some people like Oh I thought the story was traditional or whatever I don't really care about that I love story it's the most important thing but the spectacle of it all to me I thought the story is fine it was it was great but the spectacle the world that you're brought into the Escape that it creates is magnificent and no I I like me I know what you mean it was the same reason that I say Top Gun for me was like 100 visually you want to see something that's that's what Hollywood returns to like he said Top Gun was the greatest movies ever seen I think it's the greatest movie he said it's the greatest story of any movies ever seen that part is totally wrong I mean it's not one of the best visuals I didn't say that you did you did I said it's the greatest movie story that's ever it's probably one of the greatest visual things I've I've seen and Visually I wasn't even that Blown Away no no I thought taka was absolutely fantastic it's safe movies I thought it was great for what it was bro don't do that don't do that I thought it was great for what it was what is no it's a blockbuster it's a great Blockbuster I didn't think it was the greatest story but kind of like Avatar when you go to the theaters if I want to see a great movie a great story I'll see it at home would I if I want to see a blockbuster I'm going to the theater yeah if it's visual you have to go to let me clarify with what I said is it is a traditional hero's journey story okay what I said is it's executed to Perfection that's the little thing I said is this is traditional Hollywood Blockbuster executed to Perfection it wasn't I and I specifically compared it to everything everywhere every whatever once or whatever that was something that I'd never be able to say that movie uh but it's such a good movie it's a phenomenal movie different story completely different type of Storytelling yeah okay you look at that like wow this is something I haven't seen before it's not traditional Top Gun is traditional and executed to Perfection it is it is yeah but but also but also it's like oh I'm turning this ringer off but also my my problem with it is uh it's it's a it's recalling all these feelings you had because of Top Gun one say you weren't in it bro I'm not saying that's the problem you should have been one of those guys pissed did you go up for it no no you didn't even think about you why do you think that they look at your headshot and then just tore it in half okay I don't know about that that's they didn't even look at it they didn't they're like santinos had shot and they [ __ ] threw it right back ask you a question do you think they knew your name you know what those people think they said Santino's headshot or you think they just saw red hair and then threw it those people those people those definitely knew you they knew my name no you know what that's the kind of stuff that's this is the hard weird line of Hollywood of being a comedian is you're inherently always discounted for those things you have to push like Jonah Hill used to talk about it a lot nobody took him serious yeah he's strong and they didn't want to like get him in those movies well no but you know what I mean like they wanted him to be a funny dude for that guy I mean he really I know what you're saying yeah but no truth be told they don't really love to I think of comics in those worlds they're like no no there's other real actors that do that that's the way to look at it you're not a real actor dude well most Comics aren't Leading Men yeah that's just the reality most common banana on top on top and they don't want you to be one of the Pilots That's not those aren't those other guys who just called one of those black guys a banana that's kind of what it feels feels like I'm wrong no no no no no but like they don't they wouldn't let you be they wouldn't let you be four fifth sixth down the list because they don't see you like that yeah you're not you're a comedian guy so when you have to sucker them into can you convince them and your agents people go dude you have to see him for this thing like I'm up for this [ __ ] this movie uh that I want really [ __ ] bad can you get us an audition I don't think I want it bad can you get us something yeah yeah and I had to do a Boston accent and all this [ __ ] and I really wanted it bad and I'm still in the mix for it but it's way bigger than me like can you tell us what the movie had two it's Ted Ted two ten three ten three yeah oh there was a tattoo oh yeah and I wasn't in that [ __ ] either can you say what it is a movie and then we bleep it no but I can just I mean it's a it's I mean Matt Damon is it's him so they say no more and when they when they showed me the whole thing I was like holy [ __ ] this is like a lot of scenes in this movie and they were like yeah and they like you for it so I did the tape and they were like okay we're gonna talk after the new year so now I'm kind of waiting in the wings to find out what the [ __ ] the next move is like I'm willing to just be like I'll come down to Boston I'll come back to Boston and go sit with you guys you want me to sit because sometimes that's what's weird when you're on my level you have to go like really sell yourself to them and be like here's why I can be of value instead a guy's like Miles Teller and all those I mean do they get calls yo you can't we want you okay word but for us there's this weird like don't they just tell you that it's like no dude you have to be a Salesman of like you should here's how I can do it yeah you should try the opposite that's worked really well for me oh yeah where they ask you to be in the movie yeah and then you go ugh I don't want to do it and then they put you in and then they just keep asking right and then keep making it worth more money you call my age tell them try that yeah yeah yeah tell Matt Damon to suck a dick [ __ ] off never works again I think that's the they don't don't consider you for they don't think about you yeah like well they can tell you want it yeah well because I was but I was they don't know what to do when someone doesn't want it or doesn't need it yeah in a lot of ways it's not like the Pete Davidson thing where like Pete didn't really he always had that attitude of like and God blessed him for it he was like I watched it I don't know maybe yeah it was [ __ ] amazing they were like maybe you don't know how things are yeah yeah so I guess like I understand a piece that but with stuff like this I want it because I wanna I wanna have another I want to transition a little bit out of Comedy sometimes you know I mean like that my favorite comedic actors were always good enough to do other things and not just stay in comedy [ __ ] like when Jim Carrey left being Jim Carrey for a little while I loved it dude yeah that was very cool he didn't have a choice but to kind of come back a little bit and then that Bert Wonderstone movie was so you went out of this game you went out of Comedy no I want to be able to I want to be able to dip my feet in both babies yeah that's why it's good it comes out of left field sometimes it comes out of right field no you know what I do you're not gonna even know where this is I want a little bit you have no clue what I'm about to ask oh go ahead you I don't even know yet I don't even know it's gonna be best on the next thing that you say okay okay go um and I want to [ __ ] switch it up a little bit I don't want to I like doing movies like house party and all this I shouldn't be in these but I do want something else that's like makes me feel different and then also legitimizes you for other [ __ ] I need it Biden no thanks now you can play Biden you'd be a good you might be biting you did an amazing button yeah his bio pick what are we gonna do about Ukraine Mr President well you gotta you gotta understand dude what part of the reason I've never been on a uh you know growing up in Connecticut black smell funny come on that guy said that guy has done such a disservice talking whenever they get him to talk it makes me sad don't let him talk yeah yeah that's what Stephen Hawking have you seen have you heard the [ __ ] yeah would you say an in-bomb as a character of course I don't even think twice if Tarantino wrote that down she told me to say with riff one let's say your character was a racist okay let's say you're doing his team okay you're doing Curb Your Enthusiasm you're playing a racist where there's no lines you have to riff you're a racist or you drive 100 I'm not even thinking about it you said be the guy I'll be the guy what do you want me to do he wants it Andrew you think you think a guy in the KKK holds himself back from saying it yeah I think so he's like let me tell you something about these boys I'm trying to reserve myself yeah yeah you know I think they have other words for it I think they figured out they've got new slangs exactly because damn we're just like that's old yeah they got some good ones they've got some good ones yeah yeah yeah I saw one that was real somebody said uh Russell on his Def Jam said one they called him Mondays because nobody likes it nobody likes money someone said there was like a meme that was like look at all these burnt ends and I was like oh my god wow that was tough that was genius say something that you say regularly that is [ __ ] smart yeah I should just do that right there it was quick all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second because uh listen I gotta tell y'all a little story I gotta tell you a little story about a very talented error named Shifty who got hit by a car Shifty was riding his electric bike smashed into by a car absolutely destroyed a portion of his brain no longer works guaranteed kid can't look at the light without getting a migraine teeth look different right the back of his head completely flat since he was a child but definitely not more around after that situation point is the point is Shifty could have been said he could have he could have been set unfortunately for him but very fortunate for us he's still working here but he could have been set he could have hollered at Morgan and Morgan they could have your back okay Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury Law Firm they have over 100 offices Nationwide more than 800 lawyers with over 15 billion dollars recover for clients not for Shifty because he didn't call even though he could Shifty could be a billionaire he could be you know billionaires drive high on dies do you know what I mean that was a Hyundai Santa Fe he could be a billionaire right now but he did not call Morgan and Morgan you can't point us if you are submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan it is so easy it's more like using an app than hiring a lawyer higher the Lord thing is uncomfortable you don't know what the hell is going on right you've been watching Better Call Saul or something that's not what it is anymore you get hit by a Hyundai Santa Fe there's a great thing about call Morgan and Morgan Morgan you just asked for Morgan there's gonna be one of them Hey listen you just asked for Morgan they go which one you go it doesn't matter okay give me a Morgan and I'm taking this guy who hit me with a Hyundai Santa Fe to court or maybe I can get a crazy settlement because 15 billion that's crazy that's a lot of money it's a lot of money that's all I'm saying bro with Morgan and Morgan you can submit a complaint Acclaim without ever having to leave the couch which is what Shifty needed to do because he was incapacitated for at least a week okay if it's an injury situation you might not be able to leave the couch that's the genius of Morgan and Morgan they knew it point is if you're ever injured you can check out Morgan and Morgan their fee is free unless you win or they win well you and a is together you are one y'all are one y'all are one for more information just go to for the people.com flagrant or dial pound law that's pound 529 from your cell phone okay that's for the people.com flagrant or pound law okay do you know what pound is #wow wow law five two nine right there don't be like Shifty call Morgan and Morgan that's a fire catchphrase Morgan Murray y'all can keep that let's get back to the show also guys tour dates first of all thank you to everybody who came out to the world where we sold it out it was amazing I love you Boston and new dates January 20th through 21st I'm gonna be in Las Vegas at the Virgin hotels February 9th through 11th I'm gonna be at Sacramento in Sacramento the punchline Comedy Club March 9th through 11th I'm gonna be in Miami at the Miami Improv also somebody sent me a poster that said I would be in Springfield Missouri at the end of January I I don't know if that's real or not so you know we'll see what happens with that but get all those dates and more I just added new dates in Huntsville and Nashville so get those dates at akashding.com now let's get back to the show is this your guy Mr Beast yeah he's the best friend this is everyone's guy okay that's your new best friend bro you're in Hollywood let's have YouTube Bro YouTube yeah he's great Jenny gives away like eight million bucks a day and [ __ ] yeah what do you what are they the cookies yeah they're cookies let me yeah you need to sell them but they're plant-based huh yeah what are you talking about plant-based and gluten-free it says it right on the bag I wouldn't have eaten that if I knew that yeah you don't need that [ __ ] is this really is that what this is yeah it's FDA no that's something it's FBA I'm good yeah what do you think that was great together great my teacher you of all [ __ ] people don't don't say some dumb [ __ ] like that those cookies are trash as [ __ ] I'll be honest with you too you know what don't lie that may be your boy he may be cool maybe nice these are whack as [ __ ] you're not eating those nobody goes get me some of them feastable cookies I've been liking so much listen the [ __ ] out of here those are terrible and you know they are and I know yours are good the bars are good listen you say something here let me say something about this you know how quick he's gonna cut this [ __ ] you know what God bless Mr Beast he's a good philanthropist he does good for the world nice guy from what I know this is [ __ ] cut it out you don't make cookies dude keep giving away [Laughter] people stay in a mall all night you don't make [ __ ] cookies such a hater bro no you gave away one car you talked about for 20 minutes I didn't put mine up on the Internet oh I didn't realize the internet because I don't exploit it listen please go buy his mother a car right now yeah mother a real BMW nothing I'm not on that I'm not my I'm an epic special just came out I can't afford it all right no I do what these guys do is fascinating what those guys do is fascinating what do you mean that they [ __ ] have these YouTube videos where there's a bunch of guys that do that where they these these Grand events and they give away all this [ __ ] it's amazing they've created a subculture that copies them now so now young people want to get on YouTube and they think they can emulate that yeah but it's never going to work why not because they don't squash no no these guys created a system where it worked because they grew a huge audience yeah there's kids now that think oh if I if I give away 10K on YouTube I'm gonna make that back right away I don't think that's the future that everybody thinks they're gonna happen you're gonna be such a good dad it's unbelievable how good of a dad Dad I'm gonna be a YouTuber I think I could really make it on YouTube get a [ __ ] job you dumb piece of [ __ ] get in school I want to be a YouTuber I heard of two girls talking about that they were like why would a girl why would a young girl who is good looking uh in this day and age not want to be an influencer and her girlfriend was like I don't know give me one good reason why you wouldn't and I was sitting there waiting for my tab and I was like I'll give you a [ __ ] a thousand because what's one what's one uh uh it will never work by the way you're never as good looking as you think you are anybody who thinks you're good looking you're not you're really not you're daughter's gonna be sucking dicks bro I'm just telling you right now foreign or she'll be a guy she'll be a guy I'm gonna do Transition therapy on my own kids are you really yeah I caught the dick right yeah burn it cut the dick right off no you're never gonna be an influencer it's never going to work you don't feel like you want to give people dude you came from a family of a mother that's been driving the same car for the last time all she's wanted is the three series you can make it everybody out there that's thinking about it please be an influencer again quit your job do you like to believe that you're the miracle that only you could have pulled it off yeah to be an influencer no no to you know go after this crazy time and then succeed it's me baby [Laughter] so it's not possible for anybody else not anymore [Laughter] sorry we're all good thank you try it do whatever you got to do I think it's just what do you saying all those young Comics out there [ __ ] mind it's never gonna work you dummy I wonder where the culture in L.A is different these young guys they don't want to hang out with us yeah yeah you know what I I hope all of your dreams come true pretend but he can't pretend to be proud of someone yeah [ __ ] have you ever been happy for anybody like when Bobby broke up with kalilah stop gaslighting me into into being someone that doesn't support young people stop gaslighting me I saw influences Soul Comics what the [ __ ] talking about people take photos yeah yeah every comic out there that's struggling and trying to make it yeah yeah get a job no be a take talker come on oh I hope I hope it works if you're funny if you're funny it's gonna work or sometimes it doesn't it's probably the most you can't do it dude I'll say how I really feel about it yeah all the jokes aside if you have the balls to even try it comedy I'm not talking about influence I'm not talking about people that just take photos on the internet and want brand deals if you have the balls to try performance like that any live performance art and put yourself out there God bless good luck if you have the balls to do it I commend you for trying I was that was good that you well you still wasn't very optimistic that's insane to be like you're all gonna do great everyone's gonna be fine but you didn't say 99 of you will not be fine I think that knowledge is is what is everybody it's [ __ ] brutal you're never gonna make it in fact the Bottom's gonna drop out of your [ __ ] money this is so crazy unbelievable how good you are at impression you know what I think what it really is is people need I think young people know how you feel they need to be they even got it I think we get I think they need to be honestly told the truth that it's like it's the hardest thing in the [ __ ] world I hope you make it it's just isn't the hardest thing in the world yeah it is I think put [Laughter] it's not hard dude yeah this is I think if you're gonna put yourself out there to do it uh commendable because it's tough it's tough it's a nightmare if someone gave you honestly if someone gave you 100 million dollars why would you live your life from this day forward I just gave you 100 million dollars tax-free what do you do what state am I in wherever you want to be where do you want to go tax-free tax-free you could do anything you want 100 million dollars what a republican ass response person what state am I that's Red Foreman bro I'm telling you tell me I'm wrong you were suck you guys were sucking Joe's dick for going to [ __ ] Texas I'm always supporting somebody going to Texas you told me you were thinking about it what happened to that I would never go to Texas I was at Texas or Nashville we've never ever ever gaslighting I've never moved after the podcast say gaslighting one more time don't let him go what would I do with a hundred million dollars and why would you give away none of it yeah because it's mine I'd probably set up everyone that I love which is my family no my parents my just people that my family my parents and my wife and her parents you'll figure it out I'd lace up some people in my family does Bobby get a piece he's like nope Bobby would not get a dime okay I would lace up everyone make sure everyone's taken care of yeah and then I would go uh uh I I don't even I couldn't even I don't even have a creative answer for you because that would be that's a scary I don't know what that would do to me would you stop acting it's not feeling bad [ __ ] no comedy oh stand up yeah probably what about would you because I don't even know I don't even know how what can you tell me I think that I think the the misstep here is your life would you don't you don't even know how to operate with it if someone dropped 100 million what am I doing with it it's like what well otherwise it would be like well I don't really I would just keep living my life the way I am just keep being doing this then why would I need it then that would be the question what would it do for you well maybe you want to buy your mom a real car rich guy bully no the question of the philosophical question is what would I do what would you need it for now well ask him what he got his parents for Christmas would you get your parents for Christmas I got them uh season tickets to the ballet are you really yeah don't call me again bro you thought I was gonna say he abandoned them to go to Columbia and have a great time on Christmas and Costa Rica okay you got them season tickets to the ballet yes that's fire damn that's a decent guy I know I know I know where you came from man that's nice I get my dad chicken wing cars on the class level it was a little different the way we grew up somewhere if I'm like Dad you want pictures to the ballet season tickets to the WingHouse what's going on when you went in Hollywood I like the ballet no I don't know what I would do with 100 million there's nothing you would buy no place you would go is there a place you've always wanted I would travel a bunch but I but I have the ability to do it now I'm blessed to know I can do it now so that's kind of I really mean this from a philosophical I don't know if I'd want it because you have I don't know what I would do with it because you'd be like why do I have all this [ __ ] money I would have to give it to people I love and then go well now I have a responsibility to invest it in things like uh that would grow a future of it that now you have to [ __ ] now your responsibility now you have to raise a community now you have to help out people in your communities around you can't just have it and use it it's a worthless what are you gonna do with it by yourself you get all that money you're gonna have to like start to grow something with it you're gonna have to start a company that helps people out you're gonna have to you have to reinvest that in the community that's a big job in and of itself you don't have to do anything yeah yeah you do though yeah you're saying morally you should no yes but also what otherwise it's useless I'm saying morally I think it's a great idea also it's what does it provide it provides Freedom right but you have enough Freedom already you're blessed enough for you already he said me right now yeah I'm okay right now I'm happy why you can't stop doing what you're doing I would never stop doing what I'm doing but that's what I'm saying I don't know I don't know if you would because you don't have the money to again I would probably I would probably try to put it to work you know what I mean what about an Indulgence like is there a certain thing that you've always wanted to do with your wife and you guys go [ __ ] it let's just go we we would travel a [ __ ] load we would go to places we've never been but outside of that I don't and you can go to all those places now but so yes my point is yeah I don't want the 100 million oh I don't know what I would do I really don't know I think at some point two months nothing huh but I enjoy it I like what I have right now I don't even know what I would I'm not a [ __ ] materialist I don't need a lot but there was a time when you didn't have all this that you have now yeah but dude when I got a house yeah when I finally could afford to buy a house I was so [ __ ] happy I was like do I've never sat in it and gone I need a bigger [ __ ] house I wanted that guy's house don't give a [ __ ] I like my [ __ ] live in the same neighborhood as Avatar so it's probably a pretty big house this house is a little bit nicer than mine but it's just I don't care I don't I never had that thing where I'm like I need I need I need I want I want what about what about with like cars or something I have the car that I like I like my car I've seen his car it's a nice car now but I don't need I don't it's like I don't need a Ferrari I don't need I don't want not about need more about like there's something that you've always liked always enjoyed and finally you're in a position where you can buy it well I'll tell you financially something that I'm that I'm trying to make a possibility is for my 40th birthday I want to take my family and her family on a jet to Hawaii perfect done now we have a thing but I mean that's you know what about that home in Colorado maybe remember you were thinking about that yeah that'd be nice maybe but also I don't need it I'm saying this is the problem I don't need the money so I'm saying I don't awesome blessing but then you're like well what am I gonna do it dude have you ever seen the thing about the people that win the lotto they're miserable they'd have no idea what to do with all of it yeah but think about who's playing the lotto it's like you're not gonna see them at the ballet I'm just saying they're going from zero to 100 million you're going from Imagine Millions to 100 I'm going from a good amount of money to way too much money right also 100 million a lot of athletes make that it's not like you're in somewhere you're in rarified air but it's not like your friends it's not billions where there's like 50 of them on Earth none of my friends make 100 million there are people that we know that I've seen you in pictures with oh yeah yeah athletes that it looks like you're friendly with that have contracts that are worth 100 million dollars and I will tell you some of those friends that have that kind of money yeah they don't do anything different than I do so then there you go but my point is then they just have a lot of money so now you're like at some point what are you gonna do with all that money spoil your friends and spoil your family there you go spoil your family I like when you said take the Jet and you take all your friends on this crazy day that's what I'd love to be able to do just spoil the people in our family with me to go do something private pay for all of it and be like look at that [ __ ] give them cool opportunities they never got you have a cousin of yours that you really believe in they don't have the you know funding to you know learn this [ __ ] instrument that they really want to and it's like here yeah this summer you go to the camp learn your [ __ ] guitar like that but then what I'm I guess what I'm saying is deeply truly philosophically you it you are responsible to do something positive with that money otherwise you will be super sad and [ __ ] really alive this is a cool guilt thing that I'm getting from you that I didn't I didn't predict but this is I've always had I've I can't was free I swear to God I have money I'm so scared of money I don't like losing it I just don't like it I don't like it I don't like the idea the Catholic thing I worked so hard to get it and I'm also like I don't like the weird pressure it puts on you because you feel like if you have it money is I imagine you feel like it's kind of dirty that that's usually a religious feeling yeah well I would assume it's having more than others feels oh a guild complex with money I've always had sure we grew up with that because we didn't grow up with a ton of money so it was always like you know halves have-nots type of [ __ ] like those guys do that kind of stuff yeah yeah yeah yeah that's always a phrase that was like oh yeah well the country club guys yeah you know so I've always had that in my bloodline can you have an insecurity of being one of those people that your family maybe grew up being critical of and yes a little but also because I just um there is an inherent piece of you that was raised a certain way that you're like I'm not that guy no we all have it yeah I don't [ __ ] you're like I don't do those I said going growing up in like strict class structures like my mom's from Scotland and like she grew up like you know don't think you're better than the community well that was always a big you are yeah yeah my mom would always see like when we were kids in Chicago even going to La probably there was some I'm sure sentiment nobody likes La in Chicago who does he think he is trying to be an actor right who does he think he is and if you're going to LA to become an actor or comedian I want to say to you right now good luck I love you you're gonna have to win the lottery you're gonna have to win the lottery no I I said I I applaud anybody that does that I left Chicago I'm happy it worked what did your family think when you left they were they knew that I was going to try it yeah but like the likelihood of failure is probably high for most people that leave so my parents are probably like I hope it works I hope you don't get your heart broken right that's kind of the that's back to this feeling with money because I'm sure a lot of people share a similar feeling as you which is like you you want to acquire it but at the same time you have this distaste for it because maybe it could turn you into somebody that you don't want to be just maybe it'll maybe it'll it will complicate things more even with your family with your friends just like and it does complicate 100 but also makes a lot of things very easy can do yeah like it probably divides security so it depends on how good you are about the way you the the level of relationship respect that you have with it some people are really good about it so you understand their level and balance with it yeah never have been able to the biggest problem I've seen is comparing you're always comparing yourself to the circle around you and then once you grab levitate a level two nine figures you start looking at the other nine figures and being like well he's got X y's everyone's gonna you're always gonna look up that's a terrible place to be yeah for me it's more like if you told me right now I could continue doing what I'm doing for the rest of my La life yeah and just just make the same amount of money I've been making or continue my sign I'll sign in blood I would take that over that [ __ ] 100 million any day of the week so you told me sign in blood today what you made last year yeah or the year before even if you can make that for the rest of your life until I die well inflation inflation yeah you can handle this responsibility you know how to handle the responsibility of the money that you have right now yeah what I'm understanding from you is that responsibility is increased a hundred times or whatever the [ __ ] it is when you have 100 million and taking on that 100 I don't want a responsibility would be too uncomfortable for you that's a really interesting could it also be that's true I feel like you you said it's true because you said what I've made now you feel like you've earned what you made enough you were blessed with 100 million you might not feel like you earned it yeah I'm proud of earning the dollars I'm proud of like doing shows trying to make fans happy and earning your money that is that how you feel clean about you're like dude I [ __ ] I did the thing for you yeah we did the thing together that's great you know I sold you the product you like the product gave me first service but like when you get and I snow people they get grandiose amounts of money for doing almost nothing and I don't think you give a [ __ ] about it I don't think they give any [ __ ] about it any of my friends that have a [ __ ] absurd amount of money or even people I know are met they don't give a [ __ ] about it you can't it's it's it doesn't matter anymore so I I just it gets to a point where it's like they have it but it doesn't do anything they kind of ignored the fact that it's there but in a way it could provide a level of freedom and security yeah I can do yeah and I'm not saying that you have to use it and do all those things but what it can do is for me the way that I always look at money and again I'm like financially illiterate in terms of like investing in all these types of things I didn't learn how to do any of that kind of stuff I'm like very intimidated by money I know how to make it through creating content and through creating comedy shows and that kind of stuff I'm I'm good at that but in terms of what to do with it when I get it I have no [ __ ] clue yeah I don't know either but which and I wish I learned a lot more I don't but what what I've noticed for me the relationship with money has always been about Freedom so it's like if I want to do the exact type of Comedy that I want to do the exact type of podcast I want to do if I want to create if I want to outside just creating if I want to live my life in the exact way that I want to live yeah I have to have a certain amount of it to protect me in case everything goes wrong right so I always looked at money as like that's my freedom and if I get to a certain amount of number like right here I can do whatever I want when I want to do it you have your number yeah and that changes too see mine's in mind to me but but you're at your piece this is your freedom yeah I feel good I feel fine like it's like when I [ __ ] you know you would feel imprisoned by that money where yes yes yeah I probably feel imprisoned by too much money exactly I'd be scared of making too much money yeah because I I would feel uh yeah weird about it yeah yeah 100 I've always I feel imprisoned by not being able to do what I want to do even if it's the smallest thing I'm okay with not being able to do what I don't oh no no I know you are I know you tell me I can't do something I [ __ ] have look at this exactly that's my point is like yeah you know we do our show from a a shoe box in the valley but my your Visions are very are very Grand and you're able to execute the visions and I'm one of those people that's like I Just Want to Have Fun and I hope they keep letting us have fun I I think that there's a lot of people that also think like this and I think that's why it's really cool to hear this perspective about how money can be scary and how money can like put you in a position of emotional instability where I'm always coming from this place like I don't I don't I don't want to be associated with money I don't need to be flexing I don't need to do all those things but I love having it to know like if everything goes wrong like I keep money in case if everything goes wrong that everybody here gets paid everyone here everybody here gets paid for a while put it that way until until it runs out yeah a while meaning I don't touch it everybody gets here a year at least everybody gets paid so that's just my way that's Freedom that's hey let's say whatever the [ __ ] we want let's do whatever the [ __ ] we want right let's go to [ __ ] Africa let's just [ __ ] do crazy [ __ ] and I want to do as much crazy [ __ ] as I can before I die by crazy it doesn't have to be dangerous but it has to be let's go to Paris dude I'm saying like let's just do that and be part of what a crazy adventure now no it's amazing and I I but I recognize I need a little bit of security but I'm a little bit more about this but I'm more the others I'm more like I'm more like uh uh I like seeing it but I'm like I don't do that yeah but I love it I love to watch you guys do that [ __ ] yeah but I'm always like man that's a world that I'm not it's I never was built that way but I like I like the piece there that yeah I'm a little I am I but I do see what you guys do sometimes and I'm always like these [ __ ] are that's living that's wild yep but then I also go play golf near my house and then that's fine for me too yeah my little [ __ ] is fine for like sometimes my little [ __ ] is good enough also it also you're not at a level where it's little it's like you played a beautiful course a huge success and it feels as if you doing some you're doing something that a lot of people especially in entertainment but in life in general don't do which go this is enough people are miserable because they can't go this is enough for your friends have this recipe for happiness even though you seem miserable but how more miserable he would be exactly exactly and like I'll be honest my relationship with money is not like if I don't have it I'm not happy that's not it my happiness comes from freedom and I recognize that the more freedom I have to do whatever I want I'm happy I am but I love that your happiness can potentially I imagine come from just going I have enough I'm so happy that's what I have yeah I feel pretty good I mean it was like it's like again I've always said that if you [ __ ] dotted me out was like can you do this forever and it never goes up though you'll never make another dime yeah yeah I go okay because you're having fun because I'm blessed and life is good and it's like there isn't a moment where I go at this stage in my life I feel it feels good dude yeah because again all the joking aside we did before and I know this got serious but like all the joking about me saying other people trying out to be Comics or whatever uh because your only dream was to get paid to do comedy you're like all I wanted was to get paid I was [ __ ] broke and I came from the trying at the bottom and I do applaud people that [ __ ] try it it's a it's scary as [ __ ] it's wildly hard to do yeah so if you have the ball to do it like dude that's huge and I hope you work hard enough and it works for you I hope I hope that's all you can do yeah but all I wanted was to make money doing comedy when I started making money doing comedy I quit my job my day job and I slammed the phone and I told my boss bye and I literally ran down the fire escape and I ran for like four miles because I was like I get to make money doing comedy what job was that I worked out of [ __ ] I worked at a music company doing visas for international touring Snoop Dogg Cypress Hill no it was wild man I got to like tour coordinated for these bands but I was doing pushing paper all day yeah and then when I quit that job I got a contract for one year they guaranteed me one year of money and it wasn't a lot of money but I was like that one year this is MTV no no this was this was a a an internet show it was like a hosting show you know what I mean but they guaranteed the contracts I said even that they [ __ ] fire me and say this to my mom I go even if they [ __ ] fire me they gotta pay me for the year yeah and my mom was like that's not a real thing you got to check my lawyer I'll never do that I swear to God it's in the [ __ ] contract it says I get I get this mucho a week no matter what yeah and I bet on that and that horse led me to you know start the trials of learning how to make money in comedy and stay out of having jobs and once I got to a place where I'm like oh like you said with the money with the thing if this Falls yeah I was like I'm at a place where I think I can do comedy for the rest of my life make money I was happy as [ __ ] I was like dude I can do this until I die and this I can keep making money I hope doing this yeah and how old are you at that time I got that job when I was 20 27 or 28 yeah and then I got MTV punked when I was 29 or something like that yeah and so then I just it was like that was a big deal for me so all the other stuff is kind of like a lot of icing I feel like it's icing being able to go from clubs to theaters that was icing dude yeah this is you told me I could play clubs the rest of my life I would have been fine what the [ __ ] I was still selling tickets and having fan it's all icing from here for me it's like this is all I'm blessed to know that it's like oh that's just a great bonus oh I get to stay at a nicer Hotel sometimes that's a [ __ ] that's cool oh I get to upgrade a little bit sometimes that's cool but if it doesn't happen fine dude I'm already eating cake yeah I'm already [ __ ] eating dessert you're just telling me sometimes I get fruit right on [ __ ] yeah like that's how I feel about everything it's like if I'm able to get something else because time and it's a little bit of a bonus cool if not [ __ ] we get to eat dessert for a living like this is It's a pretty good life life is good yeah it's a good life life is good I'll say something funny that is how I feel that's how I feel and I want you know and we talked we didn't get into it really but with the special on Netflix you're like why would you do that and why why this why that route or whatever it's like again dude to me it's like you're quite a Visionary I'm not stuck in your dick you're my friend for years you have great vision I just want to keep making this [ __ ] and I'm kind of letting it go on its own a little bit more of being like I want to see where things go and let them be as they may yeah I'm not good at like knowing how to like chess piece as well I'm good at being like I'm gonna work really [ __ ] hard and I'm gonna put it out and I hope you [ __ ] like the [ __ ] that I made and if not I'm gonna try again and I need to get better at doing the other stuff but for now I'm I'm happy with the little the moments of that I'm trying to push the push the pieces in I mean you know me I always push people to go to YouTube if they can or try moments or these yeah yes just because I think that's where the most eyeballs are and the guys who actually have it and I think you have it in terms of like stand-up chops like there's J usually justice meaning like people see it and then they go see them out look at like Gillis too Shameless Shane was another example exactly so um but I thought about this when we're having that discussion earlier and I was like I wonder if Netflix is actually good specifically for you and some of your goals outside of Comedy because having an impactful special on their platform might make it easier to cast you in a film on that platform that was genuinely part of our attack smart so it's just like it was going to continue my career in that world it's not that comedy is less important to me but you also like this other thing yeah you love it yeah so it's like and it's this weird thing where like Comics I don't know why we feel I think we feel like sometimes kind of feel bashful admitting that they like acting because I think there were Comics that like you stand up to get into acting we kind of viewed them as like pariahs they're like yeah yeah you're getting in our way to do this and we also only celebrate purists you've got to be a comedy purist yeah but but name your favorite purists exactly they all did something yeah that was the biggest problem I always ran into and they were like a tell you're like you had a [ __ ] late night show talking to drunks yeah it was one of the things that made him famous amongst people it was fantastic it was amazing yeah it was absolutely any purist that you know did something the first thing is [ __ ] it's just a way to like uh Christmas people are more successful they all do that yeah I I don't I don't I don't subscribe but I mean it is a comedy habit comedians are like that guy's a [ __ ] I only do it if I don't think if you're doing it for a cash grab do whatever you want I don't give a [ __ ] yeah but like I'm not gonna go oh this is awesome that you're gonna stand up I know what you mean if you love stand up and also love acting if you love stand up and you love surfing um you know what I'm saying I don't give a [ __ ] I do like you do whatever you want to do I just want to know at least for me personally that you love it I don't give a [ __ ] but if you're there's tons of people who going to stand up when they're getting broke they're like [ __ ] it all right but if we hit the road but again if my always the question always remains or it's always gun to head if someone's like stand up for acting you have to give them up right now yeah well yeah I would give up acting tomorrow I mean I don't think no but but I would because I can only control that so much okay you're acting you can't can't control that even if they were like all right uh stand up or acting and by the way acting we're gonna give me you're gonna make sure you get jobs forever you're never gonna not work I'd still go I gotta throw away acting yeah because the vulnerability of stand-up is why we all loved it so much it's like dude I can create my own world yeah and it's not always going to be a banger some sometimes I'm not going to sell out and sometimes the audience is going to wane and I'm going to have times where it's growing and times where it's stagnant and yeah and sometimes my new shit's not going to work that well and so like that's that's the reason that we like performing that you were like dude I can [ __ ] make this thing and see if people want to [ __ ] Freedom yeah it's Freedom that's real I mean that's real Freedom that truly and acting you know you rely on a lot of other parts you are you are you are not greater you're not greater than the ultimate you know like team Endeavor when you see what goes into making a film and 300 [ __ ] people are truly remarkable and it also looks like the greatest waste of money you've ever seen in your life like I'm looking around and I'm going hold on one second we really need a guy to just stand by this box that's open and how cool it is if a box is open you need someone to watch it so that somebody doesn't fall in like there's a grotesque those those job interviews are hilarious if you went up to a guy and you're like what do you do and he's like I watched that award box that chord moves I gotta [ __ ] pull it down and then it's like well uh what happens if it never moves nothing then it's fine don't worry about it what do they pay there's like 180 Grand it's [ __ ] it's a Hollywood might be the funniest that guy does that that person does that yeah it makes you think the mafia still runs it it's like y'all don't have yeah specify here the Italian mafia hey hey specifier get specific over what mob no you but the one thing you'll learn in that I mean that people will learn about Hollywood as we continue to expose Hollywood in terms of like most more people now know about the insides of Hollywood than they ever have the truth is that everybody wants to eat so everybody has a job because everybody wants to eat so when you go why does this guy have that gig and that it's like dude everybody wants to eat and everyone just wants to get their hand and go can I have a little bit of food that's what it is and Hollywood is just that that you're like everyone's trying to make sure their friend eats you know how Sandler did his thing and became I love it I love it to comedians to be like dude you can just put your friends in everything I love it he made sure everybody ate yeah and so that's what everybody else is doing but they're doing it behind the scenes right a production corner is making sure his homie eats and her homie eats and that's just what that is you just see Sandler when you're like why does he put the same guys in on in fact it's like because everybody would do that everybody would make sure their family ate yeah you would all do that that's that's that's what the world is you know what I mean it's like you want to make sure he has a gig and he has a gig and if he's like yo my girl kind of needs you're like yeah yeah that's how the world works but to present that that doesn't work that way is weird but Hollywood is just get scrutinized for it because you're like what do all these people get paid for it's like well because they all need to eat yeah that's somebody's family they need to [ __ ] get paid yeah so I get it it's just it's when you see it in scale you're like [ __ ] it I mean it's remarkable so much money just being on on a set and seeing the amount of people like getting paid and I mean it's crazy yeah like and you look at and you're like oh wow Avatar costs two billion dollars to make and it's just like it's just blue paint blue pants the guys with the drums just don't take their [ __ ] Blue Man by the way that's the best ad Avatar Two it's just Blues um listen Santino we love you I love you guys I want everybody to go check out Santino special go see my new special it's called cheeseburger it's on Netflix why is it called cheeseburger watch the [ __ ] special there we go you gotta watch it to find out um and if you see the Dave and March yeah the Dave is coming to March we don't have a release yet on Dave and March house party comes out in January I think it's the 19th I'm not 100 sure and then a show called beef on on Netflix with a24 with Ali Wong that is absolutely fire created by uh my boy Sunny this will be a phenomenal show it's kind of like the the underbelly of uh of um Los Angeles uh Los Angeles Korea Korea Korean town yeah it's [ __ ] dope it's dope is it drama is it comedy is it a little it's inherently like a comedy at core but if you get cast a lot it's RV white guy I think I haven't seen house party but I'm assuming house party time to stop yeah how funny I am the I'm one of the only whites I think you're the white guy of Hollywood wow I'm one of the only whites in that one I'm one of the only whites in the Korean show the the house party [ __ ] Cal was great because he was like you know we were playing stuff at the door and of course I answered the door and they're like you know it's this old white guy at the neighbor and there's like what are you a [ __ ] cop and immediately I started improving you know and Cal was like man it's so funny We're not gonna be able to use any of that stuff because of course I was like no if I was a cop I would have seen both of YouTube before yeah and he was like it's great but also and I spoke with someone at the studio and they talked about like what jokes like you and I talked about this what jokes you can kind of try out and leave in yeah it's always interesting like what you said about would you say the n-word as a racist character Well yeah if that was the character yeah of course I would yeah people dumb people don't get it sometimes you're like dude I'm playing the crazy guy you want me to play the crazy guy I'm being a crazy guy yeah yeah the crazy guy's not going to be rational about that word right right crazy all the way yeah so so with that like I'm this white dork who suspected these two black men yeah that's literally the character yeah so of course I was going off on this rant but then then I took a turn then the second time I was like well now I'm gonna be like I think I'm cool with black people yeah so I'm like dap me up dogs which is which is funny yeah [ __ ] well I said that one line that might have stayed in the movie I don't know but I said and I'm down by the way I go I'm down boys you know and he's like what and I'm like if anything's here I'm [ __ ] down you know what I'm saying and they were both finger guns and they're both like I have no idea what you're talking about and I was like I posted two black squares on my Instagram you know what I'm saying yeah and of course of course squares that's excessive and I was just like well it's you know just let them know you know what I'm saying like get up please leave but like but playing with those worlds gets super fun because you get to live in that [ __ ] [ __ ] and I hope them I look I hope the movie's good I don't [ __ ] it you never know you know everyone's like how is it you're like I have no [ __ ] idea I hope people like it I hope it works out I didn't see it it wasn't there I was here [Laughter] is he there I said I gotta do flagrant yeah make sure you check out all those things yeah check out the special on Netflix cheeseburger don't give him any money don't give him too much money because he will have a meltdown I'll end up donating him back to the community gave these to me oh they're great [Laughter] do that that sidewalk chalk jacket you got on normal [Applause] yeah go watch that [ __ ] thank you so much come on watch all the pods Andrew Santino thank you for being here I love you thank you [Applause]

Channel: FLAGRANT

Views: 1,770,593

Keywords: andrew schulz, andrew schultz, comedy, comedian, stand up, flagrant 2, sports, entertainment, pop culture, commentary, comedy club, near me, jokes, interviews, akaash singh, alexxmedia, alexx media, alex media, eddin, eddin media, Thankyoueddin

Id: nkvKRdvNKY8

Length: 104min 56sec (6296 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 17 2023