Bobby Lee: "My Ex Will Get NOTHING"

is [ __ ] incredible do you think that he's better than you at acting just being it wow you don't think that santino just has another gear bro let me ask you a question then dude can you cry in the scene yeah you could write right now yeah bobby set up for it that's your son needs a heart transplant there's no donor and you realize there's only one heart that can go into your son's chest it's your own you're gonna have to kill yourself to save your son and start seeing my son i love you so much and i gotta tell you [Music] the only heart that you can have is mine [Music] but i'm not gonna give it to you because there's so many other koreans i can buy what's up everybody welcome to flagrant bobby and collider back together [Laughter] [Applause] so how did you guys reconcile the whole thing why are you open like that bro i didn't open like that would you why do you do why do you do do avoid that i was almost did it back to you yeah yeah okay but seriously yeah yeah we're not we're not yet we're not she's gonna touch me we're good friends she's moving out she when is she moving out we were looking for a place she's not moving tina santino's like she's not moving out she's never gonna move out she's moving on why would she it's such a nice house it's a nice house did you tell her about your fling with the her niece [Laughter] dude she's like no she's like my daughter dude they didn't have sex that's a cultural thing no they like culture no asians don't have a cultural thing like that yeah you're like a targaryen oh that'd be great imagine this on dragons yeah yeah yeah that's why i love you yeah okay right just doing but you guys aren't together no okay that's good right uh and then how's marriage this is great killing it right dude dude having like a woman in your life it's so good that yeah that loves you it's a [Music] when you guys did that fist bump on the wrist thing it made me so sad i was like yeah god for me i married porcelain because i had this whole fantasy like you know when you're like like a [ __ ] beauty no beast you know how she's like a poor [ __ ] who's cleaned floors and [ __ ] it's i was always attracted to the poor [ __ ] who cleans forever why why because you want to save them you want to be the prince yeah you want to be the knight in shining armor and they can't go anywhere it's security that's got to keep them close yeah yeah yeah i'll put you back out on the streets yeah you want to be able to say you can't say that to your wife she goes good i'm gone i can't wait yeah you can impress them easier yeah how you take them to arby's and go this is a michelin star because they don't even know how to say really did they go is that is [Music] imagine you're eating a girl out of who's asian and you go your [ __ ] tastes good she goes weary that's hot bro you're into that yeah really [Music] [Laughter] that's how they do it yeah yeah actually [ __ ] with soy sauce would be kind of good why just a little bit of flavor just a little bit of different flavor it makes sense yeah if you if you put a little bit on your finger and then i licked it off that'd be delicious like shark fin yeah tonight little shark fin soups maybe ponzu is a little too much did your did your um did your parents side with uh like who they side with in the rodney king rides like were you asking [Laughter] we know we know who's upside what was their take yeah yeah yeah uh well you know korean's [ __ ] up before that you know that right hey uh i lost his mic who's because because you keep [ __ ] moving around cause you won't sit still for five [ __ ] seconds [Laughter] unprofessional sound like that he even told me i'm professional [ __ ] you [Laughter] i love them you know it's just jokes man comedy bro yeah then that's gonna happen three more times a little bit 100 like there's no doubt in my mind that it's going to happen again okay i'll sit still like this good luck can you hear me now dude well he's not back there yet go back to our station dude pressing testing what's your name i want to call you dude because i'm going to call you dude [Laughter] can i let me tell you something bobby the look in his eye is bobby's underwear inside out he [ __ ] hates you it's his second day on it probably oh do you hate me dude look at his face always stop stop oh [ __ ] look at his [ __ ] face he's livid you know what you know what he wants to say he wants to know he wants to say charlie yeah like we're attacking him like why are you saying we yeah you're attacking him and you're charlie you're korean try that again try it again clean in get a clean ticket didn't work it didn't work i'm glad what was up with his face santino do you notice something about his face the [ __ ] was that what was on his face what do you think he was thinking dude yeah he thought uh he he's mitch mcconnell and i'm his wife god damn dude what the [ __ ] let's try that one what rodney king let's go back to that all right you were on the roof weren't you on the roof yeah i was on the roof you were on a roof but here's the thing this is not a joke what happened before rodney king was a year before it's so funny you're old enough to remember the timeline yeah i was around dude i'm old bro relax oh i'm sorry my bad relax you know dude you do get defensive around akash yeah have you noticed that can i tell you why though why because that's not who he is oh [ __ ] who am i bobby oh you want to know who you are yes go where's my phone at yeah i'll be on the table right there okay yeah i'll tell you who you are he planned he planned this last night at dinner yeah i you [ __ ] yeah i said bobby lee because you didn't have my number right yeah you open up with love you but love you buddy love you buddy yeah everybody is that new yeah but that's not the vibe you're giving me you're not giving me a love your body and then i'm gonna read all of them you two you're super funny and you're nicer no that was me saying that for real men i said youtube and you're nicer than schultz let's [ __ ] my bag i [ __ ] that up yeah yeah but you keep dude i checked you keep going buddy can i tell you something yeah how are you doing every day how are you doing i don't know i tell you i show you this and i sent you this picture what was that it did my penis it's a dick pic yeah that's a little macaroon oh yeah yeah are you circumcised no yes he is yes i am yes yes i don't even know what that means but i pointed you once a week i texted him once a week because he hasn't just gotten sober i want to check on him never responded this guy wow yeah you'll get high if you eat that that's a mushroom that's so wild i've never seen that in my life that was that burning man my point is bro so by the way the text thing didn't work because everything sounded nice you didn't get you cared about you would yeah i told you i'm just saying that's who i like do you ever want to see you on the podcast if you need anything you call me or schultz will be there for you no [ __ ] questions yes i don't lie about this i know but when i came up the stairs just now you're like [ __ ] you no no no no no no no no you did give me a hug i gave you a big hug that's right that's my dog you want to see toxic text messages akash what he said to me listen to this [ __ ] [ __ ] okay ready ready yeah go ahead and this isn't this shit's insane okay go ahead sorry for getting back to you so late no problem can you do 20 second absolutely i mean that's the kind of [ __ ] stone back the guy chaos it's a repulsive attitude yeah behavior but he is just a bad guy when you were going through a really hard time you know right you're right and i came here all aggressive yeah are you sober now yeah good for you man seven months seven months sober dude it's not seven months it has been seven months what was the month i don't remember the day yeah that's a [ __ ] but it's been seven months he makes it up i don't make it remember do you think i'm picking it up i think so everyone everyone who's over remembers the the date no that's not true yes when i went to rehab first one in 1988 right i i asked myself if you were born interesting you remember the date isn't that interesting you remember the date [Laughter] you're right you're right seven months dude i can't tell you something you know why he knows it you know why he knows it seven months because i told him at seven months oh but he is actually seven months yeah seven months you're a good friend dude yeah i've been trying i'm his best friend he just doesn't haven't done anything but the interesting thing about you're like almost as funny when you're sober like that's not real no i understand that i don't know new york [ __ ] right he's a new york times he doesn't like new york stuff yo yo-yo he hates new york i hate it he hates the people he hates how busy he doesn't like the culture or the he doesn't like the fast joke talking he doesn't like any of that sound new yorkers yeah who sounds like a dude no you're a new yorker we don't like that no you walked on the street don't look at me at all like i'm [ __ ] invisible right you're like i'm like you know you know what he does he walks like 10 paces behind me when we're walking when we come back because you get all the looks well okay my boy okay okay this is a [Applause] he doesn't want us to not he doesn't if we get recognized like if he he doesn't like it if i get recognized and he doesn't that hurts you it doesn't bother me if somebody goes bobby lee and i walk i don't give a [ __ ] he hates it when someone goes santino and they say they don't say anything to you he hates it why do you hate that so much why can't you allow him to have some fans [ __ ] it see i don't it's a great [ __ ] guy [ __ ] mean dude what is mean i don't do that [ __ ] dude you walk 10 paces behind me you know do you see do you walk 10 paces i do but check that out do you do not like it when someone's somebody else andrew santino you should see my face i always go like this it's so condescending i do like like it's hard that's a pain look that's a goodness no say it say santiana watch it stay safe what's up man that's [ __ ] love bro right love right now it hurts so much there is suffering there is there is suffering but there's pleasure too it's a combination of things because there is enough what it is meanwhile you call out call out bobby lee bobby [Applause] there's something going on behind his knife that was i'm so glad somebody finally recognized this guy it's been all day all day what if it's a white guy that only recognizes him does that sting a little bit more [Laughter] what if it's an athlete what if there's an athlete that recognizes him over you like a famous [ __ ] pig it's never happened yet well that's not true what who who who who no no no no i only know one last leader yeah he only knows one and aunt donovan yeah yeah and no one gives a [ __ ] about him he's a great soccer player he's one of the best but landon i only know landon he's the only one yeah yeah well you know i know robert gronkowski yeah you do yeah well the gronk his government with him he's right i did a tv show with the gronk serena what was that tv do you think if you saw youtube he'd recognize you and not santino 100 100 but what was the tv show it was called game on it was like it was so good what was it [Music] serena williams tea and you guys compete in games oh wow and you have green slime you're climbing up a lot it's [ __ ] terrible okay yeah but you do for a moment oh you're definitely yeah yeah you don't do it for money so of course because you do right of course you don't do [ __ ] for money yeah yeah what are you talking about nobody cares i would do gay porn if a car like how much oh dude how much [ __ ] a million to shoot you would pay a million dollars just to do it yeah [Laughter] oh it's like a membership it's like yeah yeah yeah you wouldn't you would never do gay porn no if for a million dollars to shoot i would no you can't i would do 40 in a row 40 days in a row my [ __ ] would be [ __ ] grizzly and open right yeah but i would just be like i'm gonna i would go to nevada get up ranch and heal up for the rest of my life that's a good idea so funny just to see like a little chained up dumpling and everyone just comes in and just annihilates your [ __ ] you just have just like you know your legs and your arms are just roped to the wall like yeah yeah there's comments is dick is pixelated just one pixel no i'd have that same andrew sent you a link yeah a million a million you would a millionaire million is the name a million but you would have millions yeah don't you have million how much do you have left like you feel like you're stressing me out you're stressing me out what do you mean how much do you have left how much did she leave with we weren't married again we weren't married during the process and there's no common law thing in in california no but like yeah there literally is comment that literally is coming not in california look it up they're 100 as common law in california google it google it right now somebody google it mark has a computer that you're insulting that is i want you to poke my dick 10 times in a row there is no common-law marriage in california no chance there isn't what does it say does not recognize common law marriage even though california does not have common law marriages unmarried people have been together for an extended period of time do you still get some rights yes there is rights there's laws that protect can i tell you what those rights are yes that's only in situations where let's suppose i was paying mortgage she's paying my mortgage with me then she has more rights but i paid the mortgage shelter shelter yeah yeah you you know he's looked this up yeah yeah you know he got [Laughter] dude i love her yeah she's my best friend right and i'll always help her yeah come on yeah what the [ __ ] are you doing pretty good hey that hurts a little bit you didn't say that anymore when you broke up when i went to therapy you have your inner circle yeah so in the circle is you and god yeah right and then you have another circle and those are intimate three right so my mom my brother and probably kalila and then the third circle oh [ __ ] in the third circle you're the only one in that third circle but why can't he just get into the second what circle am i in your circle i don't have any circles man oh everyone's in your circle three like me by myself and that's right everyone else is just rotating where would you really be yeah you'd be in my intimate my intimate whatever the one that is yeah okay you're in two then oh that doesn't feel real that doesn't feel [ __ ] [ __ ] i've walked you through the fire multiple times multiple times why not lie to me in [ __ ] mexico whoa what did i lie about what did i lie to you about because everyone called me don't get me [ __ ] liquor right and you would bring me a drink go get i'll get what you drink this what about what's about to happen is great please tell is going to be another great message thing yeah this is why i never backfired with you i feel like when you tell a story with an accusation yeah tell him what happened in mexico in mexico okay yeah everyone yeah tell them what happened look at this face dude this acting brother okay okay i'm [ __ ] serious no you're in pineapple express i know go ahead let me start over dude in mexico yeah all right in mexico all the people we work with we're telling him don't get him alcohol don't get in a call right now so there was an open bar right and and he goes what do you think you already know is to knock you out and you look at me you go what do you want to drink because i'm gonna have the same thing you're having you went to the [ __ ] thing you had liquor and you gave me some weird sprite thing that had no liquor in it right right what a [ __ ] wow how dare he save your life but i'm already in the disease so i'm gonna get it anyway i'm not gonna support it not gonna support it not gonna support it yeah if i relapse andrew andy schultz yes if i relapse yeah what do you think dude he got mad at me how do you get mad so mad at me for not giving him like what do you think love is this is what addiction is that why you stay in that relationship [Laughter] [Laughter] i love you that's what you [ __ ] texted me you [ __ ] dude you got up like a transformer dude [Laughter] brother [Laughter] where is he looking for the camera oh my god so proof is in the pudding that i did the right thing in mexico yes dude you know why this whole thing started he got in a fight with him yelled at me yelled at me for not getting a boost bobby's the only transformer that's more dangerous as a car though [Laughter] dude [Laughter] [ __ ] oh [ __ ] you're real this dude relapsed in mexico got mad that i didn't serve him booze and then the breaking point was got drunk got drunk on his own no you started this but in the hotel room don't talk about that i'm absolutely gonna tell the hotel room say it what happened got trolling well he's sober now so we're actually and we're happy we're not using i'm not using this against him at all and he knows that but he got drunk he got drunk without me yeah he went behind my back and did it anyway because i was trying to like i walked him to the room and then he left and got boozed didn't you what day of the week was this wednesday or thursday wednesday or thursday oh my god and then you threw up all over the place right in my hotel room hotel room and then i came to the door the next day because he wouldn't answer his phone and what did you greet me with poo poo he had [ __ ] all over his hands oh my god dude but because you were having fun you're just having some play time yeah he answers the door with poop on his hands everywhere and then he goes there's throw up all over the chair yeah yeah it was insane well i was so drunk i don't know why there was poo everywhere i poo all over my hands i had a vomit beard and i came i go oh that was that that was our second to last second to last night we had to do one more show and yeah we got them there for the last show yeah but my show was good it was the money it was john no you know it was funny though he that was the last day he ever [ __ ] her i mean he knew that was it that was it it doesn't get lower i think he did it on purpose it does but yeah i just think he knew it was over he would i think i knew it was over i got i can't continue because i don't want to lose everything oh yeah yeah yeah you could just feel things just slipping away and then when i get real serious with him again it's okay andy yeah i'm not a good actor all right um okay but you were saying no i'm sober now yeah that's good santino you're saying when you get real serious he knows when i get he knows when i'm actually being serious yeah and then i got real serious in mexico and then it was like the end yeah it was the end i we knew we both knew it was like it's not going to happen but santino gives you a long leash he does yeah yeah he's very patient you know what i was very patient i want to say something that is not funny it's real you know i have come to understand and feel that he is one of my best friends [Music] [Laughter] it was i've finally come to understand he's one of 20 years old third circle third circle yeah yeah so this man loves you i love him as well i know he knows you love him yeah but do you know that he loves you i do i really do i really do because there's a you know you can be loved i know and i'm accepting it i accept a lot i feel love here a lot of love here we do love yeah i feel when i walk in here i when i lock eyes with you it's like i'm seeing like an old army veteran like we're in war together against against yeah [Laughter] how bad of a soldier would he be though oh in any war oh my god you guys are so stupid what do you mean you think you'd be good i grew up in san diego so obviously you know i grew up in the middle class area right with yes courts and stuff like that and surfing brah and all that stuff but if i grew up in an area where i had to be hardened oh brah i'll be hard but you did it but you did it you didn't yeah i know but i'm just saying we're talking about you right now you right now is not hard but if you did what does that even mean you're just making up [ __ ] if i grew up in a tough area i'd be tougher yeah dude all right absolutely so give me the scenario yeah you win any war dead immediately from the pentagon from the pentagon yeah i get a cell phone what number is this i'll pick it up anyway right you're right i'm likely right for synagogue you're going to war right yeah i would have to go to basic training like everyone else right yep right so i would do the push-ups are you i would do it right mecca's that way yeah you're really great push-ups right yeah yeah this guy knows his push-ups pull-ups right you know legs legs and then i would do the wake up do the running run do the straps the straps no yeah there you go i would like how long are you there six months i don't know how long did you do that would turn you into a soldier and then right and then they would evaluate me right would they not evaluate their kid no they would evaluate no they probably need you they need you out there they need to out there they called but it'd be a specific task like because of your age right they're not you can't just you can watch it keep going keep going i want to hear it so bad i'm not i'm not being gentle i'm just saying at a you know what is it called a very mature age there's you can't just join the army for a regular job you can't be in general though you've seen a lot of wars you know all right that's right i would change my name to robert so you did robert robert lee ryan yes confederate flag on my [ __ ] chest in general i think we just found out i'm just in the scenario dude yeah yeah yeah by the way how easily would he be tricked during confederate times to join the wrong side like you know in civil war they'd be like you've got to fight you've got to fight on our side he'd be like all right he wouldn't kick back at all he don't think he is what it is what do you mean you don't think you would kick back dude i would go with the blacks for sure 100 percent 100 see the way he said it sounds suspicious yeah yeah i'd go with the blacks what did you say to the coffee guy this morning there would be communication problems like in rush hour i'm not saying that there's gonna be like a feeling out point of like what are you talking about right now you know what i mean but i would still definitely join your [ __ ] clan we would keep them alive because the funny guy there's a clan i've told you they don't say that they don't you please it's woody that's basically it that's the only one yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's good yeah he does this all the time whenever he's a black guy he gets excited he gets so excited and the coffee guy he he comes down i go do you want a coffee good four shots this guy knows me right dog and i'm like don't yes he does you do that vernacular yeah do you do that that's not wrong no you don't do that yeah all right so what do i say that's right yeah you just answer like a human yeah like what if it was an asian why would you say that what type of is that where is that coffee shop yeah [Laughter] so i don't know so yeah you're right i don't have to do that yeah you're right but he said he said the coffee shop he goes he goes thanks dog and i said don't say that and he goes shut up you don't know this guy knows me and i go he doesn't like that he's just being nice and he's not gonna [ __ ] [ __ ] up his job by being like yeah and then he goes like this then he goes uh what's better if i say what did you say what's better if i say uh what's a player what's up playa and i was like dawg even worse i know i [ __ ] it up oh bro i get nervous in new york he sounds like you know how old you know like an old white guy that yeah it's like a young black someone's young black friend and they always go like what's happening boys like that's exactly what he does he's like are you guys hip-hopping this weekend [Laughter] where's the roof i do that i do this it's insane yeah yeah so it's like i can do whatever i want you kind of can't yeah i don't really wear it with a lot what you get away with a lot i do get yeah like on stage i can show my dick that everyone's fine maybe they just don't see it did you the tension between these two i love it so [ __ ] so awesome it's phenomenal what's so aggressive akash is just waiting in a bunker and just he's just lobbing over it i got too many unresponsive text messages yeah but welcome to the club though i was really upset about that i know but i might not get better that's why you're not getting better he is but but that's what he's been doing for years and years and years and years it's like that's the thing we've tried to work on it it doesn't matter he just i am so much getting better at it you are and i've been meeting up with people now really yeah and i've been having lunch and dinners with people dates you've been going on dates not not really he came to dinner last night which was huge cause usually yeah i don't ever go to he had a friend in town i went to dinner i normally would not go you came here with a girl that was pretty cool yeah you brought a girl she's a friend and uh she's a nice lady see where that happened and um i uh i don't like that you think i'm the only one doing this by the way what do you mean i don't like that he says [ __ ] and you're just like yeah whatever and then i i'm i'm i'm be you're attacking i'm not i'm the occasional way out of love i'm doing out of luck who are doing it andrew's an ally he's an ally i'm an ally he's wearing he's wearing the uniform look i am i told you earlier i put this on for you yeah what rank is that you know right what is that what am i am i a you're you're you're you're a sergeant am i saying yeah yeah yeah oh oh dude in the ming dynasty i thought i was always yeah yeah yeah that's in the ming dynasty okay um that's racist that you would assume that it had anything to do with you if you had a dynasty though if you were the king emperor would you have concubines no you wouldn't have any no look look around what do you think this show is that's right you have concubines they're right here right now yeah no we we rule together as a collective but but but fast but that's not that's nice in this in this crew of of you guys are playing centipede he decides where our predictive rule is listen if we're playing centipede where are you i'm [Applause] bro i get obvious i think mark is hilarious and when they say that he's the caleb presley guy i'm like i'm like that's not fair to kayla presley do you know what i'm saying like caleb what's up he's bar stool no he's mark than there's the barstool guy but yeah this is a collective that is but i know i know that but but you do do you get a little when when markets recognize instead of me yeah be honest be honest like a family function or something in what world would that yeah does that happen actually i'm sure it happened no no no no no it's gonna happen it's never happened well no people recognize me and then they go where's andrew oh yeah oh yeah you missed him he's actually over there see this is this is a friendship this is love right here so yeah it's all about teamwork here guys all right guys we take a break for a second because i got to make sure you keep your hair and keeps has got your back very simple okay going bald is a choice now if you are going bald you can put a stop to it a matter of fact it's better if you even get there before you go bald if you even notice in the slightest bit get on top of it i did it over a decade ago and look at i got the long luscious right now because of it it's keeps they offer low-cost treatments to start at just ten dollars per month and keeps offers generic versions of the two fda approved medications to prevent hair loss i'm telling you fellas this is an absolute no-brainer you you have to be an idiot to let yourself go bald it's the one thing that indicates if you're aging well full head of hair aging well bald aging poorly keeps us everything your hair needs delivered straight to your door with discreet packaging and proven results remember prevention is key treatments can take four to six months to see results so you gotta act fast alright so if you're ready to take action and prevent hair loss go to k-e-e-p-s dot com flagrant to receive your first month of treatment for free that's k-e-e-p-s dot com flagrant to get your first month free k-e-e-p-s dot com flagrant now let's get back to the show all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second because i got big news big [ __ ] news september 23rd to september 25th city fields rolling loud is coming to new york i know you've been hungry for it you heard about the rolling loud miami you heard about rolling loud in toronto you're like when the [ __ ] is the greatest hip-hop festival in the world coming to new york city well it's the 23rd to the 25th of september get on that [ __ ] right there who's gonna be there friday nicki minaj little uzi little tj the baby money bag yo fabio foreign saturday asap rocky little baby a boogie don toliver buster [ __ ] rhymes kevin gates and sunday future 21 savage big sean pusha t st john fat joe benny the butcher and special guest playboy cardi plus many more acts and here's the craziest thing of it all they should never be giving discounts away for this for some reason we manipulated them into hooking you up we tricked them we connived them we beguiled them into hooking you up with 20 off if you use the promo code flair go to rollingloud.com right now you're getting 20 off okay but you got to do it before the 20th it expires september 20th that promo code you get 20 off your tickets for you and all your boys your girls you know the whole family bring your grandma okay bring your grandma all right simple as that rollingloud.com flagrant is the promo code 20 off let's get back to this anyway [Laughter] going on now yes yes you analyze the dynamics right yes yes akash and i your um sidekicks you have to understand are we the wacky neighbor i'm wait i'm getting that sense right now that we're the wacky neighbor i don't like it you think we would live in the same neighborhood what are you talking about [Laughter] that's my foot bro tonight you pull your dick out in front of people i know i know it's not bad my bad you show how you showed them all your dick like 20 minutes insisted he wouldn't let me not see his dick yeah he sent me a [ __ ] picture well can i tell you i said i love you i'm gonna defend him a little bit okay that actually means he actually likes you that's a if he sends you a dick pic it's kind of like his called the korean house you never send me a dick pic oh oh oh [ __ ] oh but you showed him on the path this is how he makes you want that i see you live that was a photo i've shown you my dick live oh that's true that's true that's so close no that's different yeah yeah but but he if he sends you give him oh it's not my bad i don't know how it works yeah you do raise the [ __ ] room thanks player [Laughter] do you think that we're you're like funny little ethnic sidekicks no no no how do you feel no i don't feel that at all you don't feel it no all right why do you feel that way right now i do right now you feel like an ethnic sidekick right now the wacky neighbor in your you're wacky you're more wacky 100 but i'll be honest with you yeah given a real situation yeah he's way more wacky than you like if somebody if somebody like aggrieves the both of you you would be normal very fast and he would be very wacky quick full crammer like if somebody like cuts both of you off yeah you might be like oh you jerk and then he would follow him home yeah yeah yeah yeah and put like a sign on their lawn 100 i wouldn't even think twice have you gotten out of here i have the signs [Laughter] as i was saying i was like don't do that yeah you got to do it 100 he but that is that is you're not you're not that wacky dude no oh really you're a very reasonable guy you're you you're the you're the most you you've ever been thank you so that's the facts i love that and i love that you're free i'm free dude honestly like i know you kept all your [ __ ] bread um yeah i have all my bread dog yeah hey yesterday yeah yeah yesterday wait yesterday when we go to staten island and that you're still friends with kalila that's dope i love it very close yeah very close we went to staten island to go see what what what you don't like them two clothes dude i'm glad you said it because i had already brought it up once i was like and you're so close very close [Laughter] it's true oh my god he did keep all his bread and he's got a lot we called his business manager on the way to staten island didn't we didn't we didn't we call him on the way to staten island yeah we did i mean you're getting the hbo money that's no no money oh yeah talk that [ __ ] yeah [Laughter] here's the deal with reservation dogs this is what sex in the city i know but this is an interesting point on one of me it's not even a joke right but check it out you're on the native american show yes i am as a doctor no i play the korean doctor i'm a korean doctor you know how eliminated you know all natives have a korean doctor on site no but when i was there they said that growing up on reservations most of the doctors are like korean i think they'll pay back your medical school loans if you do that that's a real thing so like a lot of people will go to like the country or just places where other doctors aren't really flocking you know how little i'm gonna question you about anything in the medical world like any [ __ ] any brown guy gives me medical stuff i'm always like that guy knows exactly what he's talking about and they also said they're a little indifferent that's why he hired you because you're just sort of this guy you know i mean you have that vibe you don't care that much about that right but i want to just say something to a true point that i was going to make that's not you know in the comedy universe right yeah but when i first met you in montreal right i was like oh like to me i met somebody that has like a new outlook on show business and how to wait to do things and i learned so much from you probably i really did okay and i have to quit i had to quit he grabbed it right i'm so used to him doing the funniest thing given the opportunity [Laughter] you learned a lot from them right so no but that's not what i'm going to say what i'm going to let me get to my point right good time because i started way longer ago yeah right that i still have this weird fascination with old hollywood like acting and getting deals and all that stuff right but that's okay too i know but it's just like i don't know why i'm like that and i think you have a little bit of that too yeah you guys also you like acting and you know what i mean and getting jobs and you know i mean you guys also happen to be really good at acting it's hard to say you say plural guys are you thinking he always says i'm bad okay i have never i've no i you always say i'm bad and it hurts my feelings you're li and you're lying for the joke of the show but i've never seen it what did i say to you the other day why did you do the joke just now because it's fun oh that's right about reservation dogs what did i really say you said i was good on that very good dude he's very good on the show now it's the same very used a couple minutes ago the same very easy yeah yeah yeah [Laughter] now listen is [ __ ] incredible at actually so good no and do you think that he's better than you at acting just just being it wow there's a competition there too no no no no we're just saying objectively because when it comes to improv you guys are magic like i was sitting there on your guy's show [ __ ] crying when i did bad friends the last time when you guys did the scene where the [ __ ] girl gets pulled though that was amazing okay now but when you're talking about just acting like let's say you had to do a scene let me ask you a question and it's you or santino you don't think that santino just has another gear bro like let me ask you another question all right yeah yeah we're not talking about comedy we're not talking about what you're talking and you would know you guys went for similar roles in the past yeah we went for similar roles he got everyone it worked and we're actually asking because i haven't seen any of your shows so whoa again with a dagger bro did you see that i thought you son of a [ __ ] [ __ ] but here's here's the thing may i ask you a question that's all i'm gonna ask you a question right yeah do you think he has had more opportunities over the years you think because he is do you think he's had more opportunities over the years and i'm going to be and that is an honest question i think the answer to that is yes i think that you've been alive so much longer [Laughter] like when you were acting in those movies that just had the writing on it instead of the words like you know when you had that crouching tiger jesus this guy yeah okay all i'm saying is i've obviously had not had more opportunity that's [ __ ] oh that's so [ __ ] crazy you got a mad tv like five years into the game you were literally on a [ __ ] hit television show hit five years into the game yeah that's true you barely were you barely were in the world of comedy and action every year a week you didn't miss one or whatever that wasn't me wait what that was alex sports june oh yeah [Laughter] uh-oh okay so that was so much that was so much opportunity yeah this poor guy barely has a single opportunity crushes it every single time climbs out of the [ __ ] dirt okay let me ask you a question then dude and be all completely honest yeah yeah how many auditions do you get a year whoa i don't have to anymore i know but no no i'm kidding of course back when you did it of course i still auditioned back in the day though how many did you get a year you're completely honest uh honestly yeah probably a couple i don't know a couple a few no how many here i i can't really i don't really know 30. here's the let's let's let me ask you a question let's let's go through this and then we'll go through let me make a point about it or we'll not do it let me make it yeah or we'll just do it the way you like i'll make a point about this yeah you're missing the missing piece of this yeah you're pretending as if i was this handsome picked dude the redheaded guy is never tell me the [ __ ] love story just got cut off tell me the love story where they go yeah oh beautiful her red-headed husband walks in never was i like the hot boyfriend who no dude i had to go out for [ __ ] that was like you would just get that roll every time we are both good at our things yeah nobody is better at his thing than him what is his thing uh uh you want the [ __ ] on the hand he's a jordan [Laughter] yes there's only one bobby leaf straight that's what i mean and i could i could have to go head head-to-head with some you know what i mean a bunch of fraud for a role no chance i think i think the only time that i would have like uh you know who i was jealous you know i feel like i could be the uh the who'd you beat out i want to know who you beat out on somebody i don't know i don't know but i don't know no but i can tell you i can tell you that miles teller kid i like him so much he's so jealous of his [ __ ] i could see him and talk i could see santino on top guys should have been in that [ __ ] movie santino on top i wanted to be in that [ __ ] emotional though about your dad huh could you be emotional about could you beat goose what was the name rooster rooster could you do that you got to be all emotional about goose there's no way and angry at tom cruise can you cry you can do drama can you cry hold on you can cry to sin yeah you can run right now yeah this is i feel like bobby can you set up for it i'll do it i'll i'll set up a scenario yeah all right okay [ __ ] in your face all right favorite scenario right yeah okay all right so i'm like let's a movie it's like philadelphia yeah but i'm you know i mean a little nigerian kid yeah this is a comedy yeah no no no and i'm adopted i have ebola instead of aids that's not the stakes aren't high enough for this yeah we need high stakes all right able is not high no i think you survived the ebola fight your old gorgeous you're dead immediately that's not true okay give me the stakes then okay this is just we're throwing a hypothetical thing out yeah okay um you're tasked with a mission to go behind enemy lines [Music] um with your old partner's son pilot in the 1980s just keep on saying time is that what is people doing was that the first time yeah yeah um okay okay all right there's there's the same sports agent and i quit and i want to go solo okay all right but i want to be never heard i want to be in the scene huh you have to cry because i'm dying how can we do that no wait what if i what if i want to act too though well what if i rap what if i also rep like mahjong players or stuff like that okay i don't know yeah you're a mushroom the problem the problem is me and him in any movie we'd ever do it it's not impossible to try it'd be laughter the whole thing okay okay so i really want to get to a serious crack okay okay all right so you're gonna come in right at a later point in the scene all right okay but is he gonna cry because of me yes okay good thank you okay okay here's a good one here's a good one no no it's so hard it's impossible you've got this you can do it with you no you don't have that listen bobby lock in you can make it this is this is korean war you were over there what a time what a time you you found out you fell in love with a woman there who literally saved your life behind enemy lines a white woman no an asian woman behind enemy lines no can't do it i just don't buy it she's half asian oh i buy it yeah yeah yeah yeah okay i got it she's like with tits right like you know you don't know it could be [ __ ] you know i mean eastern europeans by the way york yeah not asian at all but yeah for sure absolutely not asian like [Laughter] there's an asteroid hurtling towards earth and you and your friends who are also oil drillers mostly in the most difficult parts of the world okay have to go up yeah and you have to do it you you have to just split it in half with an atom bomb what yeah it's it's it's either deep impact or armageddon make a choice the point is maybe that those are similar we're secret agents yeah yeah yeah yeah and we have the ability we're sent from the government there's aliens walking amongst us we have the ability to make people forget what they've seen okay we're just listing our favorite movies yeah okay okay okay i will make up an actual movie can you make up a original movie original movie right right never been done before i love it here it is here it is all right are you ready i'm ready there's two girls one cup okay what's in the cup he got in a car accident okay yeah so now i'm playing myself and he's playing himself right that's good he has five minutes to live okay no no no no you have you know how quick he went to you in a car accident because it's your joke earlier that was a good thing it was such a callback it was a call in order for you to say bobby's your child in order for you to save as he was transforming into [Laughter] what a funny seat in the movie transformers it goes back into a car and crashes immediately everybody else zooms away he hits a pole all right so all right i'm in the hospital yeah okay that's your that's your son okay needs a heart transplant there's no donor you take the the hospital hostage and you realize there's only one heart that can go in your son's chest it's your own ah you're gonna have to kill yourself to save your son he's getting there very good all right you love that kid more than anything in the world he was dealt a bad deck probably from your wife's side you don't talk to her anymore so can we do the scene and start soon my son i love you so much and i got to tell you the only heart that you can have is mine but i'm not going to give it to you what the [ __ ] because there's so many other koreans i can buy goodbye my son look it has water in my eyes i respect you bro oh you're you're my inner circle dude what a trick in the ring now dude in the ring bro that [ __ ] impressed me dude choice that was really good that movie one queue yeah get uh get it play a dog play a dog yeah raise the roof oh man you're gonna you're gonna have to you're gonna have to cut this yeah go go get him to the show it's so you gotta [ __ ] yeah [Laughter] is the second half i haunt him oh he haunts me because i let him die you let him die he gets a new song right but in the house i'm [Laughter] and with yeah that dude what do you think i mean yeah sold dude yeah like literally sold and sometimes i'll go pan face i'll do some adjectives you know can you imagine when the ghost hunters come to the house can we see that and i'm like did you hear that did you hear that on the on the thing and if they're replaying and they're like i don't know what he's saying i think we all heard what he said yeah yeah yeah yeah oh [ __ ] we if by the way if we we want to do a movie together me and the bulb bad bad bad yeah and we're trying we just got we want you guys not i just want like a really really like acclaimed writer to write us i think he's written a bunch of great scripts just now yeah i mean i want like one of those [ __ ] writers to actually like write us a thing that's so out of our you know before normal rounds funny is if they wrote an actual serious drama and you guys are not serious it would be like oh i'm trying to i don't think this is rocky horror picture show but like what is that it almost comes across as like camp like you guys are trying to oh yeah yeah yeah everybody watching is you're right you can't be a right yeah hot american summer i guess it's invisible it's like a musical oh you have to be in it switching thank you how can i have it oh you can sing you're kind of marcus hold on let him do it what do you want to hear he can only say it's on the artist you pick what you can you saw me cry how about this i know i know what song okay one of my favorite musicals is annie and when she's she's in the windowsill it was like well like when that came out wait a minute oh i waited in line and everything i was 19. i was 19. yeah so i got a job i had a job in the car and stuff so i went you know what i mean there was no online so i just waited in line for two days wait tell him tell him the annie song so i wanna hear the annie song so she's sitting in the windowsill right yeah maybe far away or maybe real nearby that song you know that song tomorrow too maybe do that one that's better yeah is it that yeah it's not it's not the same one it's not the same song not the same song but it's from the same show oh yeah i like maybe that's a good song let him do it let him do it all right the sun will come out tomorrow bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow that's pretty good y'all be sun just thinking about tomorrow [Music] [Laughter] is [Music] tomorrow i love you tomorrow [Applause] [Music] [Laughter] [Applause] very good real commitment dude all right guys we're gonna take a break because i gotta make sure y'all are eating good man and the only way that you can eat good with your schedule is with freshly let me tell you why freshly is delivering nutrient packed meals fresh nutrient-packed meals directly to your doorstep that's what they're doing as many as you you need and you want they're going to bring over there okay nutrient-packed i'm talking that [ __ ] that you [ __ ] stick in the microwave probably gives you cancer i'm talking about packaged with nutrients fresh ingredients the best food you can possibly put in your system is sent directly to you freshly has got your back i mean if we just need to go over some of the dishes that's steak peppercorn fire okay that parm that chicken parm crazy i'm t listen they got a meatballs in there bro phenomenal simple as this it is the best food that you can get delivered to your doorstep and that's what we want we don't want to be cooking every single [ __ ] day if we don't have the time if you're a busy ass [ __ ] that wants to eat good and eating good makes you feel good eating good makes you lose weight look good stay in shape if you want all that then you got to do it freshly simple as that and that's even better we're going to celebrate the holiday i mean you know freshly loves labor day i know it's past labor day but we're going to still celebrate it okay now through september 17th you're going to get 150 off your first six meals at freshly.com you gotta go to freshly.com flagrant that's a hundred fifty dollars off at freshly.com flavoring think about that freshly.com flagrant you get 150 off your first six orders as long as you order by september 17th so get on that [ __ ] right the [ __ ] now now let's get back to the show all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second because y'all need to see events okay and the way that you're gonna go to see them is with sea geek very simple the best platform on the planet for you to get the tickets to whatever you need to go see you want to go see akash perform you want to go see the u.s open you want to go see a wnba game those are usually sold out if you want to see the nfl that's back whatever you want to see you can get a ticket to over at seatgeek i'm telling you the app is amazing and the app has also got your back because see geek wants to make sure you're getting a good deal so when you're on the app look for the green dots green means it's a good deal and red means it's a bad deal someone take advantage of your ass they're gonna put that red up and let you know i'm telling you seat geek is where you need to go get your tickets where are you going this weekend let me tell you right now wherever you're going this weekend we got a 20 cheaper ticket for you that's right use the code flagrant you're going to get 20 off tickets to seeky that's 20 off your first purchase with the promo code flagrant make sure you click the link in the description to download the app use the app for everything and guess what you got 20 off so you can get an even more expensive ticket you just got upgraded you just got a little closer to action you are very goddamn welcome make sure you download that app and make sure you use that code flagrant to get that 20 off and let's get back to the show you know you know bob can sing [Laughter] can you sing can you sing it are there like uh any like uh san diego songs or no there's i know some korean songs ah who would want that yeah sing that only like jason mraz no no just korean songs let me hear a korean song this is a real one i don't know what it means okay and i don't know how to finish it okay but alex is going to laugh immediately my dad's singing it yeah you would beat me with a [ __ ] golf club [Laughter] you beat the [ __ ] out of the golf club really yeah yeah bruises all over my body it was [ __ ] terrible wow the one that we all know yeah that's all you know is you were the one that drove the car no you were like the guy you're a man in the house oh my god that was his name let's go ahead send me something hey look at ah gosh loading up like like bullets into a clip he's just like like it's loading in his head yeah yeah yeah it's so good [Applause] or something yeah i probably know i don't really know that many i don't know the rap [ __ ] i can't rap i've been listening i think no the old indian [ __ ] from like paulie you know honey are you amber you're saying this is bollywood are you angry right now i'm wondering why you're so angry i'm not angry i'm [ __ ] fine with a blast this is a fun time but we're not having a fun time i think we're having a fun time have a great time whenever you look at me i see anger i don't know i love you dude i'll keep you on the lips right now but you wouldn't because you're weird about that stuff you are a little weird about that kissing on the lips yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm on the cheek yeah i'd do that okay yeah okay no problem steal it go ahead steal it because i want to make you go steal it come probably do both sides you know okay that's fine okay mommy you're gonna see it and i have to say that on you oh no okay all right okay okay no but you're way too fast because i know you're trying to i know you're trying to kiss me no i'm not i know you're way too fast because i know i know you're a sneaky mother no no no no no no oh homophobic i see homophobic oh yeah when we see each other what do you mean by sneaky yeah yeah yeah yeah did you see that yeah yeah he sent me a project they sent me his dick i said i love you and then he just sent me a picture of his dick that's love that's long that's not love that's not okay [Laughter] to sneak a kiss on the lips yeah i know dude i know i think that's how that whole thing started kissing there was a g a guy was just trying to kiss another guy and he like turned you just turned [Laughter] he's like oh i've kissed you on the lips a thousand thousand times without like too many [ __ ] have you guys get on lips yeah new york bro it's new york [ __ ] you know what it is seriously because the way that we get looked at when we do it fine they it would change a lot of things for this whole show all right yeah yeah yeah print two yeah [Laughter] yeah that's weird yeah you guys like kissing and [ __ ] no we don't we do it for [ __ ] laughs bro oh yeah it's so funny yeah bobby bobby will bobby will to his most high credit will do anything for the last year literally anything when someone's like you're the best bro he is uh there are rules now what will you not do i don't think i could show my penis on stage anymore no yeah i can't do my pothole no i haven't i haven't done it in years you know what he does now he does the uh he'll like do the fake takeout like it never comes out and oh yeah i do like like half of my pubes uh right and then i'll just pull it back up yeah i dissected this on one of our episodes over why i think it's okay because and this is not me being rude his he has a regular he jokes he has a small penis it's a regular penis but it's fine but that's high quality it's okay but i was impressed how many times i saw it if it wasn't but if it was fun it was going to be smaller if it was big it's threatening to the audience yes right yeah you know like if i actually kill o'neill's dick it'd be weird yeah right so if it would be threatening to the audience yeah but his is playful it's fun it's it's it's like a and these guys all feel like a boost of confidence for themselves and the girls think look at how funny that is yeah that's like a funny little it's like a minion hmm [Music] i was beat up twice by whom by the audience members when i showed them my penis then they years ago one guy picked me by my neck and slammed me on the ground which is not a natural response yeah and then a guy shoved me against a wall and they had a nail sticking on the wall and i got i don't know which oh my god how homophobic were those guys wow and i bled all over my arm oh my god that's when i learned a guy was so mad he's like you know how bad i want to suck a dick don't show me that yeah they get aggressive you know what i mean so yeah yeah but you don't do that anymore i don't do it anymore no i do i follow the rules but that's a public rule i'm saying what about when you're with the boys are there any rules no no there's no nothing at all he holds no he would never suck your dick for a laugh what's the funniest way to suck it you're just your dick in his mouth is hilarious that's the funniest i would i was so happy yeah if i was sincere i was locking eyes with you and i was like that would be hilarious yeah yeah i like i do tongue work on the whole tricks with your balls he'd love to do tricks with your boss yeah yeah yeah yeah and i do this right yeah right and we locked it you would laugh if we locked eyes i would laugh yeah allen comfortable right now yeah that's never gonna when we first met you tried to kiss me on the mouth you forgot when yeah when we first met in uh montreal in montreal yeah yeah but you've grown since then you're done two burning man no yeah that was cool but the reason why i do it with you is because even if you get violent i think i can handle it nah that's probably true whoa you're in a fight you think you think you could beat up akash well i was a wrestler dude no no i'm not questioning don't defend i'm just asking is that what you're saying you could beat him up he's not threatening to me so he said he could [ __ ] you up bro i'm fine with that how much you weigh gosh what do you weigh 190 now who knows [Laughter] wait how tall how tall are you five seven five seven how much one fifty five one sixty okay and you're five five five one five five four five three five three five three five two if you're flying no shoot three i'm five three five two without shoes okay one sixty five one no you're 170. 170. yeah 170. that's it that's a pretty fair fight that's a fair fight it's a fair fight but the thing is is that i was arrested i would take you down and it'd be over you wouldn't be able to get up oh dude we need to set this up i'm not doing that i'm not gonna fight i love him no no it's for like for fun no just for like charity yeah charity no no not tonight though not today no no we're doing it now bring it in no but yeah we got a real mad i could never fight you bobby i was taught to respect my elders that's number four that's the only thing i can do we should set up a wrestling match can you wrestle no dude he was a [ __ ] yeah he was a great wrestler yeah i actually do think so what would be a fair fight then because wrestling wouldn't be fair to him you're actually a really good wrestler yeah and high school is really really good i mean going to instagram there's wrestling his bro his brother was phenomenal too he was a champion champion stevie was i saw this like i've really really do stevie wrestling he was [ __ ] amazing he would he [ __ ] up everybody so are you like a sneaky athlete what do you mean yeah i'm very athletic yeah he is yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's it's a bit people think it's a joke it's actually 100 yeah i believe it it's what it's wild yeah but his his his he knows how to harness the you know i mean he's hidden [ __ ] strength did that get molested into you by the oh you caught it no i caught it with the guy that molested me yeah the guy that blessed you he passed it on he honestly i mean that sincerely i think so because a lot of people don't know the story you told me this story once no you told me this story once why are we talking about it no but you told me the story about how you were molested by a kid with down syndrome a man a man yeah what mentally man what are you talking about another way yeah he was a man i think in his 20s yeah anyway this is quick wait wait wait wait wait wait wait quick you didn't get molested he asked if you want to suck his dick and you said yes he had to do this if you didn't do that i'd be like what's going on and right as right as he came bobby's like and he got the strength [Applause] [Music] can you play downs he's the guy can you play come on [Laughter] this is your stephen what the [ __ ] is his name spielberg no from uh eastbound i'm sam oh no you know you knew who the best the best character that was ever played by a non-dance person that played hand mentally handicapped long way to say [ __ ] oh what's eating great what's eating gilberto daniel what's eating gilbert's right left foot what's eating that was so real dude it was so good it was insane it was insane it was it was that moment with the [ __ ] left oh that's true i want my son dude he was so good in that movie he was great he's been good in so many movies that's why nobody cares what he does yeah yeah yeah nobody gives a [ __ ] dude he but you know they were dying on set oh 100 oh in [Music] [Laughter] you're making me laugh [Laughter] also basketball diaries one of my favorite movies have you ever have you guys all seen that movie a little intense but you know what name a [ __ ] sports movie where you saw the actors doing athletics well uh uh well white men can't jump oh what do you mean what do you mean wesley cooper yeah west no western was athletic and woody can whoop i don't know for an actor phenomenal no you shouldn't have did that though yeah that's what i'm saying it wasn't there was there it just that didn't um okay robert de niro raging bull pulled off the boxing i mean tips of the trade it's it's just cuts that's a lot of cutting that's a lot of great shots and cuts in the way that that's it's just it's not uh wow oh you know who does a great job bill smith ali i thought it was okay it was okay you know who did a great job though that kid that plays mike on the new tyson show have you seen him has nobody seen that it's it's actually like some of the boxing is well choreographed what's the impression like i mean the is he the character well tyson's suing them right now yeah he doesn't look like him oh no because that's how can you how i mean it's so hard to look like that guy yeah yeah he he's suing hulu or he's suing one of them for the something about the show hmm like imagine catching a lawsuit from him immediately if they're like i'm showing you like whatever you want yeah best case scenario you get sued by tyson yeah i was like well whatever you need i'll tell you i would i would stop the show now you got it we quit since you guys know about uh movie stuff what is this movie that everybody keeps talking about where the [ __ ] the guy's spitting on the other guy the hairy hairstyle olivia wilde is something i love darling yeah you haven't heard all the drama around here there's no idea what this is a hairstyle a movie where he spits on somebody no like apparently he spit on chris pine when they were at the venice i guess film festival or something like that like premiere spit on chris pine harry styles why that's what i thought you guys might know harry styles the the the he's in the movie too yeah bro we're not more famous than you we don't we're not in that group you guys know more about we don't than us let's stop we know what happened okay i called harry this morning i picked up his dress from the cleaners and i said i'm on my way over i want to talk about it oh [ __ ] no i don't know i don't know what happened did they get into they have beef i don't know i find myself isn't chris pine jacked i think he's kind of like couldn't he [ __ ] up harry styles he came to a show at the we used to do the village lantern where you get people off the street it was so cool he was in [ __ ] star trek and then he just came off the street watch the show as a great audience member with his girl came up to everybody was like yeah you guys are funny yeah he said the whole show was a great no idea he was in a show you were on okay it was like a sunday i remember him he got yeah he got pretty mouth [Laughter] so wait he super famous people come to your shows do you get nervous or weird or no are you cool more nervous like if my family's there all right that's the friends or somebody yeah hands down yeah whenever somebody's like do you love playing chicago i'm like i mean yes but also my family's there it's the most nerve racks just a different world yeah you're thinking about them yeah and also how many of them are like hey look and where's the thing after the thing yeah i don't know i've got to focus on a show i'm not going to the thing after yeah it's a nightmare well dude you know what the great thing is not like when i did chicago theater you rent out the basement yeah that's like just go downstairs yeah yeah then i can see everyone say hi and it appeases them and then you're done you know what i mean or the stress of like you you put somebody on the list and then it's like you're about to go up and they're they call them we have six more people yeah yeah yeah we're sold out but can you get you know i mean you have to deal with other [ __ ] stress i get why fighters don't like fighting at home yeah you know what i mean like i get why they go to vegas obviously there's more money with the gambling but like fighting at home it's just non-stop phone calls and [ __ ] and with fighting instead of stand-up but you really gotta prepare your life two months yeah 100 with stand-up you've been preparing for a year as long as you've been on tour also we're not going to get cte yeah yeah our ego is on the line their life is on the line right that's very good yeah that's that's that is very good that's that's like the [ __ ] tagline for the film his ego is on the line his life is on the line stand up versus boxing no but that [ __ ] that playing at home is tough tough tough i just don't it's my one of my least favorite things yeah until it's over and you're like oh it was awesome i did it they got to see it but it's different for you because new york you guys new york it's just yeah that's a different thing almost dallas for me but yeah i was curious because you're you're probably more used to family coming just because you're at the cellar and it's just friends and family can swing drop in whenever yeah if i go to dallas it's like that's the one time that year yeah yeah that makes sense it's more like touching a little bit yeah um guys i know that you guys have another podcast that you have to do very soon did you have fun on this one i mean we got something we have we still have time we still have plenty of time yes yeah we gotta have only three okay so maybe we have another like 15 minutes or something i think we have some more fun okay what are you gonna do like those games that you guys play or whatever yeah we have again i know you're like oh look at this video look let me ask you has this been one of the best versions of this show oh it's amazing without it yeah it's amazing you guys had to come back yes yes i mean i'm coming back how many times you [ __ ] down my pocket hey well i've been asking you for [ __ ] years [ __ ] you never come here impressive when he says yeah that's weird like he says oh word and i sort of got i swear to god dude just give him a kiss yeah i swear to god i'm so sorry it's all good is aggressive too this is aggressive oh dude you guys read each other in france [Music] i know yeah this is aggressive too bobby [ __ ] you man see what i mean yeah sexual tension this guy any part of europe he's bonjourno anywhere he goes well what are you saying that tally is no actually we're in france he put on [ __ ] french music he put on an effort i think that's bunch of french [Laughter] fries oh you're saying bonjour and then no guys guys yes no no yes what do you say you say you [Laughter] [Laughter] i was curious what happened to the guy that uh that diddled you whatever happened to him i don't know because he was in minnesota and we moved when i was 10. he owns amazon or something he created that's that means yeah he has downs fifty percent but you know they give you a percentage now i don't remember what i don't i don't know but um check in with him it's beneath me if you're out there listening i think you were beneath him buddy listen yeah yeah i think it's awesome that you um you were able to get something out of it what do you mean no just like you turned it into a positive positive yeah well it's you know here's a serious note yeah but my therapist always says that because you had so much trauma in your life yeah that you had you developed like this weird sense of humor as a defense mechanism and then you chose that one thing that you were able to guys this has been flagrant yeah so that's you know that's your defense mechanism no but i i use that as a career and it's worked out i think if i didn't have that or like if i lived in korea and there wasn't like stand-up comedy and comedy in general can we go to korea i would love to do can we do a trip i would actually love that just to have fun i would love to go can we all go i would love to you want to all go i would i don't i would actually do yeah we could do karaoke together yes i do not want to go i would love to go dude that's mine i'm being [ __ ] real dude i'm being real too i wouldn't let's go to career i just need to be very sure about santino we need to it's my least favorite asian place what's your favorite yeah yeah japan is the best no no no no no no no that's number one korea is now korea dude korea's the number one they got heart they got emotional let me think about it yeah yeah yeah no it's japan no no no two weeks there we go i'll go i'll go 100 percent i love korea i love koreans of course i would go i just need to be sure about the meat that we eat what what oh the dog yeah yeah let's just eat vegetarians [Laughter] but we don't have to eat that i would never eat dog okay you would never i have dogs yeah they're in my freezer and even later [Laughter] no i would never eat i love my dogs so [ __ ] my i would never eat them no there's no way survival i'd rather eat survival if you need it you wouldn't yeah my cousin andy died i'd be sad i would eat them instead of my good dog gobi you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah what's the funny you named your dog after a dish yeah you're right yeah that's weird yeah yeah that's not like me naming my dog cheese and that's the one i tongue kiss all the time really yeah that's okay no no it's not why you the behavior what he does with his dogs is not okay you think it's inappropriate i believe you i do it's disgusting he has no idea what boundaries are this guy no like i kiss i kiss my dog on the on the top of the nose like on the head like i'll give it a little bit yeah he'll mouth [ __ ] his dog yeah yeah yeah you gotta give a chin can i ask you something do you think that in your lifetime you will be able to befriend uh an indian or something like that i really do um i really do yeah i didn't believe that i don't know yeah yeah ask me again ask you again okay do you think in your lifetime that you will be able to to befriend in indiana yes yeah i don't know no and what do you think no it's getting in the way no i have indian friends that's what they say i do that's [Laughter] my friend shanti used to open for me she's ashanti yeah the rapper no she's from san diego san francisco okay very funny comic okay that's one she's very indian name another one they have another one is he's in sorry that's two he returns your phone calls no [Laughter] zen zanzari what's the third one i'd say oh no no danny from community danny pooty yeah yeah love him oh good danny pooty great guy really yeah yeah isn't he half indian what he's half indeed yeah yeah still i love him that's why that's all i know that's why you literally only know which half do you like more yeah we know we know the hats that thinks andrew is nice to him [Laughter] how many indians do you know none what i don't i didn't claim to know any of these people yeah do you know a lot my my neighbor has a kid he actually does the best indian accent for a white guy my neighbors are whatever as a kid so yes i do know that wait you can do it they were the only indian as children really yeah yeah you do if you're lucky wait i want to hear the indian his adolf hitler is great look at that dude he's my indian adolf hitler is really good go hit it are the trains ready we've got to kill the jews man oh you are a good actor dude oh my god thank you i do when i come here i wish i lived here for a short period of time come come for like a few months i want to send them a studio do the thing it's too hard man we got a studio he loves l.a he can't leave l.a but don't you have to come here to shoot i thought you're gonna do i come in october for three weeks so then why don't you just come for three weeks you have like a little tournament shooting a smaller podcast you do like that offshoot then maybe we can do something no but you know what you can stay in my place i got extra room sex in the city give me a hotel it's not called sets in the city just like that what is it called and just like that wait what and just like that that's the name [Laughter] wait wait that's what it's called yeah and just like that wait am i stupid it's called sex in the city right no it's now and just like that but the last time you did it it was called sex and stuff no last night was called and just like that oh yeah but is it called second city hyphen and just like just like that yeah oh so sexy so it's called just like that yeah but when you tell people i'm on sex and city they go no and i'd say i'm just like that they go yeah you tell people you're on sex in the city you know what's funny is it it's like you're a great actor kidding you you because the the role that you're playing is you run the podcast studio right yeah that's why you have like a responsibility yeah right so what is it like true acting yeah yeah so it's like you know how to pretend to like be on time and like run things right right so then and then what happens when you're done acting do you ever go like i should apply that no i don't know i tried method acting yeah did you ever go method no let me set you [ __ ] [ __ ] can i say something you [ __ ] [ __ ] wait can i say real quick no no [ __ ] you i'm tired of this bullying [ __ ] you were late to the tiger belly on my episode at your house exactly you're not that important with a guest oh wow i'm on time let [Laughter] i want to say something right now yeah i showed up here on time yes right and that was available yes i was open right yes i picked you up from your hotel i know that's fine i got there though yeah no but i said i'd be downstairs at this time exactly if i wasn't there then it would be like that would be true that that would know what time this show no i did not okay so if i wasn't what i'm saying is that i make it to everywhere i need to be yes it does i put out the episodes every week no other people do it okay yeah all right people but you you make it happen i make it happen without me there is no magic his responsibility is j lately has been incredible really i'm changing my [ __ ] dude i'm changing my [ __ ] what do you think's the difference 50 it's an age thing you're 50 exactly when saggett and louis anderson died you thought you were third for sure having that you thought you belonged in that group [Laughter] who do you think you are bert crusher all right you got me back you got me back does that feel better right did you think you were going to die but when they died i literally thought like i because i was smoking so many cigarettes and i couldn't breathe remember i couldn't breathe smoking anymore i'm not inhaling yeah yeah i'm not inhaling this but i was like getting chunks of blood in my lungs oh [ __ ] i was coughing up blood and i was because clyde was a nurse i would send it to her i'm like i think i'm dying i can't breathe i literally convinced myself i was dying and then when i got out of that i was just like you know what this next chapter in my life is going to be free and i'm going to have joy and fun and and responsibility and connection and all that [ __ ] it's nice that you finally get to have fun are you 50 exactly 51 in two weeks in a week what yeah two weeks two weeks congratulations he looks at me like i'm his dad yeah i love him i love him he'll say something and then he'll go right that's right [Laughter] um well can we sing you happy birthday before we you finish this podcast i'd love to do we want to do it in uh korean or something yeah i don't know the translation we've done it on our show okay make it up no no you haven't no we really did it remember oh yeah i remember okay so does it have the lyrics too yup i love it hey mom [Music] just do that guys uh we've been here with andrew santino bobby lee they have uh probably the funniest podcast i ever have been on the episode we're like the west coast fragrant whatever it is yeah i'm trying to compliment you you guys are so absolutely [ __ ] hysterical on your podcast so i want everybody go check it out bad friends who already know what it is but if you're the few people who don't know what it is please go watch it it's absolutely hilarious they're [ __ ] what does this come out by the way uh next tuesday on camera oh yeah yeah come see me oh yeah they've been my girl in denver oh that'd be sick come see me down the road about theater on september 24th and then i'm doing minneapolis and madison wisconsin 17 16 17. andrew santana.com go to anderson go check out all his dates go check out the special watch bad friends and also we're going to say we don't have it yet we know the numbers but we're doing a bad friend's tour next year oh i love this movie theater tour theater tour and and you do stand up or you do live podcast and then and some caught at the end stand up and live [ __ ] at the end interesting i like he's gonna smoke the whole time i think you guys are one of the few pods that could do a live pod thank you effectively because there's so many like uh games that you guys play within it that are that are actually funny instead of just going in up there and like talking i think people think oh it's funny in the room so it's gonna be funny when you do in front of people like you need punch lines and [ __ ] but like you guys create that within the games and that could be uh yeah that that is uh that's awesome we don't play games but fine i get what you're saying whatever the improv the impossible the impromptu i didn't want to call it improv okay my bad thank you can i say something too not really okay but you can go go i honestly i hope you guys cut this part so bad no honestly i was i want i just want to say one last thing bad friends make sure you check it out and the episodes come out every every monday monday monday every month every single monday make sure you check it out check out their youtube check out everything absolutely [ __ ] hysterical podcast literally one of my favorites love you guys thank you guys very much and also check out whiskey ginger honestly i think santino's like one of the best interviewers out there thank you so i think that you should check out his solo podcast watch tiger belly and uh is tiger belly still i thought it's called trash tuesdays now and check out tiger ability obviously amazing podcast as well go check out these guys okay now say what you want to say no because i know what i'm going to say and they're going to cut me off and say something crazy so i'm not going to say it okay say it say it i say it i want to say that i honestly like continue you guys family my east coast family and thank you so much for having me we love you i love you shut the [ __ ] up guys peace

Channel: FLAGRANT

Views: 5,817,240

Keywords: andrew schulz, andrew schultz, comedy, comedian, stand up, flagrant 2, sports, entertainment, pop culture, commentary, comedy club, near me, jokes, interviews, akaash singh, alexxmedia, alexx media, alex media, eddin, eddin media, Thankyoueddin

Id: 3mLgQ7XvdNE

Length: 92min 40sec (5560 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 13 2022