- And when he finally reached the table, he pulls the napkin off the bowl and inside was his own head! (group screaming) - Oh, that got me. - That was a good one. - Okay, no more scary stories. - Why, dude? I have an even better one. - Oh guys, if you wanna
stop scary stories, why don't we start music? - Whoa, whoa, whoa,
where did that come from? - Oh, where did this come from? Oh, let me see, I got it ♪ A long, long time ago. ♪ - Oh, oh, I love this song! - What song is this? - You know, ♪Bye, bye Miss American Pie. ♪ - Yes, yes, yes, yes. - Ready? ♪ A long, long time ago. ♪ ♪ I can still remember the
excuses used to take my pie. ♪ - Whoa, those aren't the words. - Uh, Whitney, I know the words. - C'mon let's be honest, no one knows all the lyrics to the song. - Mmm to an extent. ♪ I knew if I had my pants, ♪ - Nope ♪ They couldn't take them, not a chance. ♪ ♪ And maybe they would
slap me, but I'd smile. ♪ - Sing along everyone! - Okay. - Sing what? ♪ February stole my liver. ♪ ♪ Took everything I could give her. ♪ ♪ Bad news on the doorstep. ♪ ♪ Time to use those forceps. ♪ - Is James dyslexic? ♪ Scant, dismembered, miffed and tied. ♪ ♪ Stripped of all my hopes and pride. ♪ ♪ And someone punched me in the hide. ♪ - Okay, stop! - What? - These aren't the right lyrics! - Trust me, I sing this
song every Fourth of July. - Wait, is that song about
the birth of America? - That's where the forceps come in. - No. This is about what would've happened if the communists had taken over America. - That makes so much sense. - No. It doesn't. ♪ The day democracy died. ♪ - Could these be the lyrics? - No Stephen! - Yes Stephen! (group screaming) - Thank you homeless man. ♪ And we were singin' ♪ ♪ Die! Die! Miss American Pie ♪ ♪ There's no Chevy's cause we're commies ♪ ♪ And business can't compete. ♪ - What is happening? ♪ The proletariat is drinking
equal amounts of alcohol. ♪ ♪ Singing this will be the day the ♪ ♪ Disparities between classes die. ♪ ♪ This will be the day the disparities ♪ ♪ between classes die. ♪ (guitar strumming) ♪ Did you write the Communist Manifesto? ♪ ♪ And do you revolutionize
the instruments of production? ♪ ♪ If Karl Marx tells you so. ♪ ♪ Do you believe in the hammer and sickle? ♪ ♪ Can Lenin save your commie soul? ♪ - Thanks for watching! - You guys oughta' try one
of those Purple Mattresses. - Risk free and it fits any body type. - I have one and I absolutely love it! - You do? - Yes James. - I'm homeless not mattressless. - I'm not an animal. - Point taken. - Shall we roast? - I love long marshmallows. - Me too. - Wish we had a graham
cracker and chocolate. - That would make these long marshmallows - really hit the spot. - A little bit of horseradish?
