Adeptus Custodes EXPLAINED By An Australian | Warhammer 40k Lore

g'day guys and gal it was pretty nice to wake up today and see henry showing his love for the hobby i mean i feel like i was doing a pretty good job lifting the testosterone in the warhammer community but having the embodiment of chadness painting custodies aka the chads of warhammer means that suddenly we're all cool now that's right everyone it's time to shave those neck beads and jump on tinder our time has finally come it's actually a great time to be a basement dweller with the lockdown no one has to feel bad about not seeing the sun for 48 hours and we're already mentally conditioned to not see or even have any friends we are the true alphas now [ __ ] the custodies have recently become my favorite faction in warhammer 40k their incredible armor design badass scenes and comical autism have really blended together well to create these glorious oiled guardians of the emperor it also helps that alfa boozer has shown his creative genius on them recently by the end of this video you will not only know who the custodies are and where they come from but you will also see them as your favorite 40k faction or your money back guaranteed let's get into it the god improved mankind is good at a lot of things he's also quite terrible at a few other things but that's not the topic of this video despite his jack-of-all-trades he really shines through on one particular topic genetic modification the emperor has time and time again created some of the most powerful warriors in the galaxy just by jacking off into a tube the primarks thunder warriors astartes and custodies were all created from his genius so it's pretty ironic that the first to be made were also these greatest creation the custodies have stood by the side of the emperor blinged out in gold since he first decided to clap the galaxy's cheeks every super soldier that came after the custodies failed in some way the thunder warrior's mental state decayed and then they got cancer the austerity spawned erebus and angron was a primark as we have established angeron should been aborted all of these warriors were flawed except for the custodies did you know a custodian has never fallen to chaos ever there's a quote which i'll now paraphrase that goes something like this noga will take a shower corn will overcome his anger management slinesh will swear a vow of celibacy and titsnich will stop playing monopoly before a custodian will fall to chaos to show their awesomeness further unlike everyone else in the galaxy the custody's primary function is not war but philosophy and scholar despite being nine foot tall demigods of war they consider themselves first and foremost as intellectuals but that might just be because they're getting full of themselves because they're the supreme master race and the emperor's favorite toys the law for the creation of the custodies is a little sketchy but what we know is that whilst space marines are created by grabbing a teenager torturing the [ __ ] out of him and then stuffing him full of organs to force him to bulk up real quick the process of creating a custodian begins much early in the child's life and revolves around gene editing so the subject will naturally grow the special organs and power the custodies have they also pump a bunch of the emperor's blood into them as well which is pretty neat this is also why the custodies are not mass-produced the resources required to make each custodian are huge and it's also very difficult you also need to harvest big e blood and whatnot so their numbers have never exceeded 10 000 with their lowest count been around a thousand straight after the horus heresy as they battled to keep terror from being ripped in half more on that later now in terms of their martial prowess for the most part the custodies have been written well and their powers remained reasonably consistent there have been two instances i know of where the writers have gone full [ __ ] and basically displayed the custodies as guardsmen once was when some elder harlequins infiltrated the imperial palace and easily killed a few dozen custodies most of them dying from one hit from a sword the second time was when an unarmored world eater was able to punch a hole through a custody's chest never go full [ __ ] despite those instances there have been more than enough badass moments and times through our custodies to embed their glorious golden image in our mortal minds some dopast stuff the custodians have done include killing demons and world eaters for 15 days straight without a single second of rest and by killing i mean skull [ __ ] them like they were bulimic teenagers one custody once lost a large chunk of his head and brain matter yet continued to fight not even realizing he was already dead another custodian once got ambushed and basically had his head crushed yet when the traitor who attacked and went to retrieve his weapon from the mush that was the custodian's head he was shocked to see the custodian was still alive and looking at him with his one remaining eye in hatred it's heresy for the imperium to record any engagements fought by the custodies as a loss because they pretty much never lose this also led to some pretty false recordings though as let's say one custodians enters a star system to get a milkshake all battles fought in that star system are then recorded as victories no matter what actually happens the custodies are immortal and never age at all however if after a few thousand years of injury and war they lose just one percent or less of their effectiveness then they immediately retire from service as they consider themselves to be compromised they then go off to become an eye of the emperor which are basically just really tall spies that travel the galaxy in search for threats at a glance the custodies don't fight it as a unit even when deployed in numbers which can be considered as their only weakness until you realize that they actually trust each other in combat so much that they don't need to fight shoulder to shoulder as they know their flanks will be protected by their brothers they've been described as lions in combat as opposed to space marines being considered wolves and finally the most badass thing about custodies is the way they prefer to engage in battle they don't approach with stealth or formations no they literally just beam right on top of the enemy forces like they're asgardians or some [ __ ] and they begin massacring everyone around them in glorious melee combat i was reading through their battles and they did this all the time and it works really well for them like they win all the time just through landing on top of whoever they need to kill the issue here is that the custodies basically never leave the emperor's side throughout the unification wars and the great crusade they only really appeared in battles where the emperor was and whilst this was still a decent amount of battles and they saved the space rune's asses on more than one occasion it just wasn't that many compared to how many battles occurred as a whole when horus went all bold [ __ ] mode and declared jihad on the emperor you would have thought that the custodians would be able to turn the tide of battle after all they were easily more powerful than a single space marine legion and it would only take a few custodies to take out a crusade or a primark or if it was just their commander at the time cozantine valdor that only him magnus did nothing wrong and ruined mankind's only chance at beating chaos a [ __ ] huge demon army attacked the imperial palace from the webway portal hence the sisters of science and custodies were the ones holding them back if it weren't for them holding it back terra would be overrun by demons long before horus arrived valdor and lehman then went to spank magnus's arse who was being sulky about the whole situation there's actually a cool couple scenes in the burning of prospero book where the custodies absolutely wrecked the thousand suns by the time the heresy ended and the big e became stephen hawking the custodies had lost 90 of their army due to their war in the web way by the 41st millennium they would be back to full strength however as they entered into self-isolation due to being depressed that they couldn't save the biggie from becoming skeletor from the end of the heresy till pretty much now aka the return of gullyman the custodies have barely left the palace at all they only ever get involved with outside threats if they perceive those threats to potentially one day be risked to the emperor like there could be a full-scale rebellion and war going on on terror and they would just keep jerking off until the moment one of the rebels looked at the imperial palace a little bit funny when that happened the custodians would sally forth and massacre everyone despite sitting in the palace for the last 10 000 years the custodians have never been more formidable see when normal people train you know they spar with each other they punch bags well not custodies the custodians will capture powerful enemies from across the galaxy and then let them loosen the imperial palace to then be hunted for sport this is called the blood games and they will often drop chaos space marines and tyranids somewhere random to test if they can protect the emperor and to find where their weaknesses are that's pretty hardcore since the return of rubbed me up gull my man the custodies led by trial gin and valorus have become a lot more active in the galaxy veloris is in charge since valdor mysteriously vanished after the horus heresy after defeating a really random corner invasion of terror after the fall of cadia and the anal rapids of the galaxy the custodies have spread out across the galaxy in their attempt to unrape it their main goal however has been to be present when gullyman has dropped off the new primaris reinforcements to the chapters spread across the galaxy as a way of being like see look daddy's favorite shiny boys approve of the new space marines so you should too which has worked for the most part in terms of gear vehicles and weapons the custodies basically have a better version of whatever the space marines have as it is their nature to one up everyone else like their armor is aurora might which is the better version of the space marine sermite they have rechargeable shields their guardian spears are power swords combined with bolter guns and the rest of their stuff came from long lost technologies each custodian loadout was unique to that custodian to represent their individual fighting styles the same goes for custody ships tech vehicles and dreadnoughts imagine space marine stuff but way better and also plated in gold to take matters further the custodies also have a regiment of renowned version of each of their weapons in armor so like they have a guardian spear called the gatekeeper that has auto aim and they have a jet bike that has a special shield the best stuff in the galaxy is reserved for these guys now the custodies and the grey knights are often compared to each other they're both a lead incorruptible trans-human warriors who share a direct connection to the emperor one being through gene seed and the other being through semen however a big difference is their politics as we discussed in my grey knight's lore video the grey knights are basically the inquisition's tack dogs and can pretend to be all noble and mighty but at the end of the day they will do the dirty work whereas the custodies are completely separate and above the imperium only the emperor is allowed to give orders to the custodies the highlords and even the primarks can only request their aid hence they don't get caught up in [ __ ] like a stupid civil war with space wolves or random over-the-top exterminators so now we know who the custodies are where they come from why they are awesome and what they're currently up to while they aren't unkillable the custodies are beasts and the latest games workshop novels about them are a joy to read it seems like games workshop has really rained in in [ __ ] riding recently so hopefully our golden boys don't get done dirty when i hit 100k subs i'll genuinely become a custodian like i'm not even kidding quote me on it when we get there and you'll see you'll see what i mean i sleep better at night knowing that henry cavill has probably seen one of my videos and he will probably see this one and that does this for today guys all the lore about the custody is worth knowing i encourage you to look into them more if you want to start your own army with them as the more you know about them the cooler they become if you enjoyed this video and want to support the channel then patreon is the place to be only one dollar gives you access to a boatload of warhammer hentai and also helps me out a lot join the discord for more memes and i'll see you in the next one [Music] bow peace me [Music]

Channel: Majorkill

Views: 639,116

Keywords: Superman, Henry Cavil, Gamesworkshop, warhammer, Majorkill, Australia, Australian, Chad, 40k, Custodes, Emperor, Custodian, Horus Heresy, Legion, Space Marines, Primarch, Sisters of Silence, Sisters of Battle, Lore, Story, Explained, Angron, Ultramarines, Valoris, Valdor, Lions Gate, Golden Throne, Age of Sigmar, Storm Cast Eternals

Id: daNvx0BMmLQ

Length: 11min 49sec (709 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 13 2020