- Hi, America, my name is Brian
Hat and I'm the CEO of ABC. Our company has always always sought to produce wholesome, original content that brings people
together across the aisle, but recently, we've had
a couple big misses. Roseanne, Last Man Standing, these were attempts at
bringing us together, ultimately, couldn't connect
with our core values. For that, we apologize. Moving forward, we wanna prove to you that we are redoubling our
efforts to create programming that speaks to the heartland while not attacking the
very core of human decency. So thanks for watching
and make sure to tune in for this fall's newest
sitcom, Baby Immigrant, starring Adam Carolla, Ted
Nugent, and Jeff Dunham. This is a fucking time bomb, man. Give me a break. Adam Carolla? Can Ted Nugent act? ABC isn't just for families either. Keep an eye out for this fall's Divarsity, where two college athletes
will lose their scholarships unless they can trick
their friends and faculty into thinking they're women of color. Oh, God. Who agreed to be in this show?! - Logan Paul?! - The sweaty guy from the Charlotte?! (sighs) ABC's more than just comedy. Our new soap opera, Blue Lives to Live, tells the story of a police
precinct full of romance, betrayal, and the one woman brave enough to delete over 300 hours
of body cam footage. (laughs) We're fucked! We're fucked, man. We are fucked. (sobs) Tell me we have something
that will not cause a boycott. - A reboot? - Family Matters. It's a blast from the past here at ABC 'cause we're heading back to Chicago to catch up with the Winslow family and old Steve Urkel in
All Families Matter, an all-white reboot of the classic, no! No! Don't move over to get the poster! Back on me! (groans) I took care of Roseanne! I took care of Tim Allen! How is this shit getting green lit? We cannot keep selling shows to Fox! For fans of Chicago Med and Chicago Fire, make sure to check out
Chicago EMT and Chicago Klan, coming to, okay. Chicago Klan? Who did this show test well with? Can I see the demo information, please? Thank you. Okay, so I've noticed something. This survey was conducted at a Klan rally. Do you think that there's
a problem with that? Marking our first foray
into prestige journalism, we're excited to bring our new hour-long in-depth investigative reporting program, News For White People with co-anchors Mel Gibson
and any blonde woman. - No Homo starring Kelsey
Grammer, green lit! The Handmaid's Tale, But We
Frame It Like It's A Good Thing starring Patricia Heaton. Other than the title, guys,
you know that's green lit! School Shooter Shooter
starring a digitally reanimated Charlton Heston and Ted Nugent! The Nuge?! You know I gotta green lit the Nuge! I wanted to do something good. You know, bring the left
and the right together. We're so divided, I just thought, and you guys hired all
these racist lunatics, and that's not what I, look, Bridget, can we get
that poll information? You wanna know the number one thing that middle Americans wanted to see on TV? It was, uh, racist lunatics. They had to bubble in
Other and write that. That was obviously not one
of the options we put in. This country is fucked. Yeah, it's bad. - We aired Baby Immigrant? What the fuck are you talking about? - First in the time slot? I mean, we can get Nugent
an acting coach, right? Hey, guys, it's Brennan
from College Humor! Click here to subscribe,
click here for more fun stuff, and please keep watching
because if you stop watching, I start to vanish. You get it? I'm not really real. I'm just a thing on your screen. (yelps) Don't forget me!
I think all of you are missing the point. You can use rosemary but be careful not to use too much or you will overpower the dish
Were Last Man Standing and Roseanne racist?
Diff’rent Strokes will be canceled?
Thanks for making my day.
Oh man, this shit was funny!!! Thanks for sharing!
Of course since this video is moderately political, the crazies come out of the woodwork. Conservatives, not every liberal voter was casting a ballot for gender re-assignment surgery for everyone, and AK-47's for anyone seeking asylum from Syria. Liberals, not every conservative voter was casting their ballot for some wall and the incredible privilege of shouting the n-word at every given opportunity. You party line hard stance idiots are the ones that continue to ensure that no change is made. Fuck you, give me my downvotes.
Edit: Thank you privilege bot
What shows inspired this satire?
If you can’t laugh at ignorant stereotypes what can you laugh at?
As a POC I find your assumption that I can't take a joke racist. /s
Jeez guys, is the majority really that thin skinned? Because I'm feeling alienated by all these overt progressive moves companies are making. And the self congratulationing nature of announcements such as these really rub me the wrong way.