- [Man] What's going on? - [Woman] What should we do? (snoring) Should we call someone? - (gasps) MoviePass. - We're here for the
MoviePass CEA, CBA, PB, PSA. Caught me sleeping on the
floor a little bit, um. Well, you know, you're pulling long hours, you care about your company as CEOs do. My house is fine, I have a, I have my, I have my house, still. Good morning, America. I'm Jonathan Floor, CEO of MoviePass, the company revolutionizing
the way you see movies. Now, you may have heard
some rumors and gossip about us going out of business. But the important thing is this, MoviePass is here to stay. It's taken us a couple
tries to get it right. I mean, who knew people would
see, truly, so many movies? I only thought they made
like 20 movies a year. I way under-guessed. They make, truly, what,
like, hundreds, right? How many? - Thousands? According to our accounting department, we were losing money on
every single subscriber. You know, it's okay. Sometimes in business you
gotta lose money to lose money. Make money, fuck! Changes have to be made here at MoviePass. They have to, they just have to. And we want to be totally transparent with you about those changes. I've been emailing you
guys, conservatively, three to 10 times a day
for the past five weeks, keeping you updated on what's
new and exciting at MoviePass. We've kept you informed
about doing surcharges, not doing surcharges, letting
you see select movies, only letting you see
movies at select times. And our research is showing that none of those strategies have worked and you didn't like them all. But that's okay because if you try hard and you never give up and
you never stop running, they'll never catch you. Just because something doesn't work doesn't mean it doesn't work. In an effort to address these issues, we're unveiling a total overhaul
of the MoviePass system. Now, to be clear, nobody is being kicked
off their subscription. We won't even let you
cancel your subscription, why would we kick you off? (manic nervous laughter) Instead, we're unveiling a few new options that should delight and reward our loyal (cell phone vibrating)
uh, subscribers. One sec, guys, sorry, um. I have to take this, I'm so sorry. Hi, Demetri. I'm getting the money, I'm getting it. How's Molly, is she okay? Oh, you put her on the phone. Molly, hi, it's Daddy! Are the men, the men are alright? They're not? Good. Sweetie, you can't cancel
your subscription (titters). What if we gave people movies
to watch in their homes? Like if we had retail locations - Blockbuster? How's Blockbuster doing? What's their market share? Are they doing good? Oh, shut up, shut up,
shut up, shut up, shut up, how about this, you wanna see
a movie, you wanna see a movie come to our office, I'll
act out the movies for you with the new Thespian
Pass movies come alive in front of you. I just saw Crazy Rich
Asians, it was great. Give me a heads up, give
me like, just tell me if you're gonna come
like a week in advance, and I'll do the whole thing for you. I'll get costumes, I'll get hats. It'll be so fun! - Why? I'll be all the crazy rich Asians. With Diamond Movepass you get to fuck me, Jonathan Floor, CEO of MoviePass as much as you want, as hard as you want for two hours. It doesn't have to be two hours. You can go longer if you
want, we can do it, just oh, and you can also
see Mission Impossible. The original one, not
the new one, we couldn't make that happen. How 'bout this, okay what about a MoviePass
where it's pay as you go, it's a la carte, right? So it's between $8, $20 depending on where you live, what
theater you're going to, the location and you
would just buy individual MoviePasses from the
theater ahead of the show. - Don't. Just don't. I'm hanging by a thread. And the thing I'm hanging
over, it's bottomless. If I drop, I never hit
the bottom, do you get it? - Okay, do you wanna buy, shit, do you wanna buy a MoviePass? With the new Junior Mints MoviePass, see any movie you want as long as you buy all the Junior Mints at the theater. I know, that's a lot
of Junior Mints right, but here's the thing, if
you don't like Junior Mints that's fine, throw them out,
they're yours to deal with what you will. - Oh, no no no, guys listen wait, you're not being reasonable, I'm gonna get the money,
wait, wait wait wait! Do you guys wanna buy a MoviePass? No, listen, hey, no MoviePass, rescue me and you can
see any movie you want.
The Mission Impossible joke was on point.
my god that was incredible
This is amazing and may not be far off
When his phone was ringing I thought it was going to be someone calling Support and he was just going to ignore it.
HAHAHAHAHA YOU BEAT ME TO IT
Grade A actor
This is hilarious!!!
Beautiful.
Good one!