- Hey, gang. What's going on, everyone? Haven't been here in a second. How we all doing? This is Craig's birthday video, right, in accounting? - [Kyle] Uh, no, no, this
is a promo shoot for Oreos, for the product that we make. - Oh. Okay, yeah, of course. Hey, gang, my name is Carl Box, and I'm the proud CEO of
Oreos, milk's favorite cookie. We want you, our loyal customers, to know that here at Oreos, we don't take our position for granted and we will never rest on our laurels. That's why we've been hard at work innovating brand, new ways to enjoy your favorite cookie, from Minis, to Double Stuf, and all of your favorite flavor varietals, like Golden, Mint, and Halloween. (laughs) Yeah, ah, sorry, gang, can we stop here, can we pause down for a second? - [Kyle] Oh, yeah, sure. What's up? - Sorry, okay, number one, just like, we can agree that Halloween
is not a flavor, right? And kinda to zoom out for a second, we should absolutely be
resting on our laurels, right? - [Kyle] Excuse me? - I'm not gonna narc on you guys. Just keep cashing the checks. You don't have to come into work. It's Oreos, we work at a money factory. Like, go home. - [Kyle] Can we hold? Can we hold real quick? - Yeah, let's go to,
let's go home, let's stop. Yeah, what's up. - [Kyle] A lot of people
have worked really hard. - Why? We could just make Oreos. - [Man On Left] We are just making Oreos. - No, we're making crazy bullshit. Kyle, please run me through the new, approved Oreo varietals. - [Kyle] Okay. Well, you got your Double Stuff Oreo. - Cool. - [Kyle] Your Football Oreo,
which is football-shaped. Your Big Stuf Oreo, which is even more-- - How is Big Stuf
different from Double Stuf? - [Kyle] It's bigger. - (stammers) Oh, fuck. After the smash success of
our Birthday Cake Oreos, we got to thinking of all
the other special events that could use the world's
greatest sandwich cookies, from Wedding Cake Oreos
to Graduation Oreos, Retirement Oreos, to
Bereavement Oreos for funerals. Nope. Hey, gang, no. We're not doing that. - [Kyle] People love it. - What do you mean people
love Bereavement Oreos? - [Kyle] Focus groups
love the taste of them. - Yeah, Kyle, they taste like Oreos. - [Kyle] Should I go on? - Yes. - [Kyle] Strawberry Milkshake Oreo, Strawberry Oreo. It's different from
Strawberry Milkshake Oreo. - You need to be able to explain what the difference between
Strawberry Milkshake Oreo and Strawberry Oreo is or I'm going to burn the building down. - [Kyle] So, the milkshake,
it has more of like, a milkshake taste. - Milkshake's not a taste. - [Kyle] It is a consistency. - It has the consistency of
a milkshake, this cookie? - [Kyle] No, it has the consistency of a-- - Of an Oreo, right? - [Kyle] Yeah. (yells) - Our 4th of July Oreos
were such a smash hit, we had to introduce our
Civic Holidays line. Make sure to try our Smokey
Barbecue Labor Day Oreos, our Caramel Memorial Day Oreos, oh, it's a mouthful, and our Green Tea Arbor Day Oreos, now with real wood. (upbeat guitar music) - [Kyle] What? - I need you to be able to tell me what's wrong with this without me explaining it verbally. Keep going. - [Kyle] Okay, Gluten Free. Hey, everybody wins there. Android Oreo, Android, like the phone. Chocolate Oreo, that's easy. - They're already chocolate! I get it. You're losing your mind. We made the perfect cookie a hundred years ago. And now there's no work left to do. I'm telling you, we did it. We won, go home, be with your families, raise your children. Stop making new Oreos. Honest question for the
marketing department, and I really, sincerely mean this. Does anybody here sincerely believe there is someone out there
who hasn't heard of Oreos? Do me one better. Do you believe there is someone out there who hasn't already had an Oreo? - [Kyle] No. - Then what are we do? Uh-oh, what's this? It's the new Bizzaro line from Oreos, putting the fun back into
functionally the same cookie. With the new inside out Oreo, you got cream on the outside with crunchy cookie in the middle. With the Oops All Letters Oreo, you've got a package of
just the part of the cookie that says Oreo on it. And with the Dodecatuple Stuf Oreo, (upbeat guitar music) enough. Enough, enough. The madness stops here. Do you see that there
is nowhere else to go? And Alexander wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer. We done did the good cookie that everybody like, and
now we get to go home. - [Kyle] Can you at least just look at these billboard and bus stop samples? - What do we need a billboard for? What do we need a billboard for? You know where our billboard is? Every cookie aisle in the world. I've never been to a grocery store and not seen half the cookie aisle choked with a sinful glut of bullshit Oreos. You have a poison in your mind and the fact that you can't see it makes me so sad. - [Kyle] We work really hard. - Don't. - [Kyle] Oreo Soft Cookies. They're softer, they don't have as crispy of an outside. Oreo Thins, they're also quite crispy. Cinnabon Oreos, Cinnamon Latte Oreos. - You are a babbling fool and we have built a temple to madness. - [Kyle] Filled Cupcake Oreos, Just Muffin Oreo. (upbeat instrumental music) - Hello? Craig, what's up? Guys, it's Craig. Happy birthday, (laughs) my guy! What's up? Yeah, I'm in the office right now. Oh, man, it's great to hear your voice. You taking it easy? No, you're working 80 hours a week? That's too much, Craig. Bluetooth. (cookie crunching) It tastes exactly like an Oreo, cause it is one.
I know this is functionally a commercial, but "You are a babbling fool and we have built a temple to madness" is such a great line that I can't help but give them props for it.
God I love Brennan Lee Mulligan. The whole cast that CH had before they went under was just fantastic. I always saw them as a sort of holdover from a bigone era of YouTube but their back catalogue is actually very solid.
They didn't even touch on the coup de grace, Cookies & Cream Oreos. Cookie-flavored cookies...
Shit, I recently saw LADY GAGA OREOS. I DON"T EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHAT THEY TASTE LIKE.
Brennan should could list college humour as a dependent.
Carrot Cake Oreos are the fucking bomb... I gotta say...
These CEO videos are so good. I did enjoy the reversal of the boss wanting the employees to relax, and them refusing.
I don't get all the complaining. I hope they make a bunch more of these.
Oreos with wifi got me 🤣🤣
I know the comment cliche here is "this comedy video is too long" but I really felt it with this one. I think I had the joke down about 2 minutes in but it had another 5 minutes left. Maybe the second half gets better but I wasn't invested enough to find out.
I appreciate his talent, but this wasn't quite as unhinged as the previous CEO ones which are works of genius.
I'm surprised BLM (the person, not the group) hasn't been snapped up. He'd be great on SNL.