9 QUESTIONS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD ASK A MAN WHILE DATING - Periscope Session by RC BLAKES

oh this is this is a father-daughter talk scope and tonight we're talking about questions I think mine actually that I've listed questions nine questions that every woman should ask a man while dating questions nine questions every woman should ask a man while dating of course there are more these are just them these are just the nine that I've listed tonight and let me show you something let me show you something because it is not common among women to ask too many questions of men when dating you just kind of sit there and try to look cute not shake your head and bat your eyes and all of that kind of thing but Queens ask questions we say that one more time Queens ask questions no I'm not preaching in Chicago my baby's in school here so I stopped by here to see her for a few days and then I'm on my way back to the South Queens ask questions Queens ask questions you cannot come into the presence of a queen without a queen asking questions because Queens need information because Queens do not allow anybody to rest in the presence or to occupy their time or come into their presence without being qualified Queens ask questions if you look in first Kings 10 in 1 talking about the Queen of Sheba it says and when the Queen of Sheba heard of the fame of Solomon concerning the name of the Lord she came to prove him with hard questions she heard all of this great stuff about Solomon but she didn't take it you know she didn't take people's word for it when she met him the Bible says she proved him with hard questions because Queens asked questions that's that's a message in itself Queens always ask questions if you're not asking questions you have an identity crisis questions uncover the reason Queens ask questions is because questions uncover motives and questions uncover hidden agendas when you if you had asked the right questions you would have discovered that you weren't working with much before you invest it yourself and they're not enough of you that are asking enough questions you're dating these guys and you're not asking questions and you're not asking if you are asking questions you're not asking the right questions now it takes questions now check this out listen to this as well it takes questions to determine now listen to this yet pay attention to this it takes questions to determine if you are really attracted to this man on all levels and it takes questions to determine if you're really compatible with this man on all levels because I think we talked last time what initially attracted to a man is not necessarily what's going to keep you interested and if you're a wise woman you're going to get you're going to get beyond the surface and you're going to discover the spiritual part of this man if he has one and you're going to discover the intellectual side of this man that doesn't necessarily mean education but it does mean intelligence and education and intelligence are two different things you have to make certain that you're compatible with this man spiritually and intellectually because just like a beautiful dumb woman is the worst looking woman in the world a handsome dumb man a handsome dumb man a handsome dumb godless man becomes quite unattractive after a while but if you just run off of that initial attraction that physical thing and you just jump in before you determine if you're really compatible with this man on all levels you can only determine if you're really compatible with this man through questions you got to ask questions ladies you got to ask questions you have to ask questions if you ask questions you don't have to learn all of this stuff later on after you've invested your heart and unfortunately many times your body and sometimes you even marry the wrong people because you didn't ask the right questions in the beginning if you had asked the questions you would have known this is not marriage material this can't really go anywhere nice knowing you let's be called you when we see one another but holla we don't have it we can't really go any further but you you gotta ask questions you can't be intimidated by a man that you're going to run him off if questions run a man off he needs to be run off you ain't got no man if he can't answer questions all right look what the Bible says okay just just kind of back up my introduction in 2nd Corinthians 6 and 14 the Bible says be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers now that's a principle there being not unequally yoked together is a principle now now check this out here's the common sense of that verse the point is this the point is he says be not unequally yoked together the point is - no it's an unequal yoke before you get yoked the point is to know that it's an unequal yoke before you get yoked before you get tied to somebody the point is to know that this person and I do not make a match before you get tied to this person you're not supposed to discover that it's an unequal yoke after you've gotten yoked you supposed to discover that before you get yoke so you don't get yoked the point is not to have an unequal yoke but you can't determine if you're equally yoked or not if you don't ask questions see you go either learn that you unequally yoked through questions are you going to learn through many wasted years of experience now take your pick you had to want to learn on the front end with questions over one one dinner or one lunch or you want to learn at the full 510 wasted years two or three babies out of wedlock you know ruptured of self-identity you know just just just total wipe totally wipe out yourself your self-esteem you can either learn it from the right questions in the beginning or through many wasted years of unnecessary heartache and experience take your pain take your pick questions alright let's get in dating is you know something I always teach dating is designed to be the time to collect the necessary data dating data dating data dating data the purpose of dating is not to explore sexuality the purpose of dating is not to try to entice this man with overt sexuality you don't need to be dressing with all this tight stuff and showing all of this stuff on no date because you know after all most of you on here supposed to be Christian women so you're not trying to go to bed with no money at least you not supposed to be the purpose of dating is to gather the data the reason we don't accomplish what we should accomplish in dating is because we bring it to a sinful extreme we want to go straight to the bed and that's not always just dudes that's the same thing you ladies got to slow it down y'all got to pump your brakes because what you well I'm not gonna get into that dating is for data number one question number one first question the Christian woman should ask any man you know not just straight off the cook but you know eat drank a little tea eat a little bread you know spooling up a little soup or whatever y'all working with you don't get what you expect you get what you inspect exactly first question you should ask are you a Christian are you a Christian are you a Christian don't just ask do you believe in God because that could mean anything that could mean a lot that could mean you know I'm young young young that could mean anything are you a Christian not do you believe in God because there are a lot of people they have you know you got you got a million different degrees of what that means when you when you ask somebody do you believe in God are you a Christian believing in God and knowing him are two different things you can believe in God and not be saved for that matter you can you can be a so-called Christian and not be saved the point is you got to get to the heart of this man's true spirituality because again 2nd Corinthians 6:14 talks about being not unequally yoked together verse 15 says and what Concord hath Christ with the devil or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel or an unbeliever if you're a believer why are we even having continuing a discussion with somebody that doesn't believe because you turned on sexually you just go override the fact that this man you and this man have a fundamental spiritual difference is that what we're going to do you're just gonna ignore the fact that that you know you're saved this brother doesn't even believe in God or he got some other strange kind of religion you're gonna just ignore that what you're gonna do with it you gotta ask you got to find out where this dude spirituality is you need to know the extent of his relationship with God you need to observe his connection to his church and to his pastor you know you are you a Christian yeah yeah sure yeah I'm saying you knew yes what church you go to if you go to my um um um um um it's not a good sign it's not a good sign see because if he if he's really saved the way you need him to the kind of man you need he needs to be firmly rooted in a church she needs to have a past and he's having a relationship with his pastor he needs to have a Bible that he uses on a regular basis because he cannot love you as Christ loved the church and he doesn't even know him how are you going to get out of this man love like Christ loved the church and he really has no spiritual basis I mean unless you're ready to just put in the work is you know trying to sanctify because you know try to sanctifying somebody that's not not a believer or or you want to be in a position where you spiritually he's a spiritual war next to you are you a Christian number two what matters most to you you know this is just in conversation that's why we sitting and sipping on tea what matters most to you and you see a person's priorities will reveal their philosophy about life a man that has a real relationship with God will automatically go straight to ask a man that really has a relationship with God what matters most to you he's going to go straight to where you know number one God he's not going to stutter he's not going to talk about you know making six figures a year he's not going to talk about how big of a house how many not going to talk about his car you know he's going straight to God and then when he moves away from God he's gonna probably talk about you know his mom siblings family his friends you know then he may move to his career something like that but you're gonna see a consistent balance with God being at the top of the heap and if he comes in with anything other than God see you discerning things right now this guy doesn't even know that that you you calming through you you picking up information he has no clue because you had a depth he can't go to what matters most to you I'll tell you what my my band's I love my being who I don't know what I'd do without my being my money oh man come on dude dude doesn't have the depth for you he doesn't have the depth for you he does not have the depth for you now you can fool yourself and try to talk yourself into believing that this man is enough man for you but you're fooling yourself unless you are seriously ready to just settle and lose your total identity you're fooling yourself with any man if you ask him that question what matters most to you he starts with anything other than God the only time he should start with something other than God possibly could be a slip is if he's talking about his child or his mother sometimes he'll you know men will slip with that you know and slide mom in there but then you know he'll he'll all he ultimately get around but you know really God you know his base of everything in my life but if he starts with anything other than God mom or his child you know his priorities are not you know the Bible says in Matthew 6:21 for where your treasure is there will your heart be also so where you put you where you make your investment your heart will also be there you see you you know where you know where a man's heart is by where he makes his greatest investment and when you ask somebody what matters most to you they're going to talk about where they make their greatest investment if you ask me that question I'm automatically coming up God my wife children I'm family Church you know people that's that's gonna be my thing that's what I'm coming back with God all the time you know I don't think I would make a slip but sometimes guys do but if you know you got mom in there you know you're dealing with a guy of substance there you're not you're not dealing with no number three well let me see am I ready to lead Emma yeah number three here is going right here now this is a good question to be asked this question should be asked ideally within the first few conversations if not in the very first conversation actually here's the third question what attracted you to me that boy that's a good one right there and and and come out of left field with it what attracted you to me why am I sitting here with you what attracted to me what what what drew you to me this question should be inserted abruptly so as not to give any opportunity for pre thought if he stumbles and fumbles he's reaching he go um-um-um shouldn't be no arm no no because a man a real man knows why he's attracted to you shouldn't be no fumbling and bumbling no arm no no he should be able to come straight out of his mouth and say a real man she'd be able to say you know I've been praying for God to give me the right woman I'm tired of running around and played all of these games and I need the right kind of woman in my life if he coming out his mouth was almost about you know Betty you you know you don't find mm-hmm you ain't got nothing to bet you got a little boy I'm telling you you got a little boy you can get all up in the air because he talking all that trash in your ears but if he ain't coming out his mouth with you no I'm looking for a quality woman I want somebody I can really settle down with and when I looked at you I saw this quality in you I saw that in you and of course you're a beautiful woman as well and I was just drawn to you I wanted to learn more about you if he's not talking about learning more about you and all he's talking about is your body you know and rubbing on his chin see that right there that move right there you ain't working with nothing you are not working with nothing that's a pimp called slick back well never the boys thing yeah pimp named slickback that's what you're working with right there Matthew 12:34 and 35 says old generation of vibe you know I can't help but prescription stuff I talk about old generation of vipers how can you being evil speak good things fight of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh that's why you got to throw this question and from you know left side but I'd be and make a massive quick because what's in his heart is gonna come out of his mouth if all he thinking about is physical sex and it's gonna come out of his mouth pimp named slickback that's right pimp named slickback a good man verse 35 says out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things whatever is in his heart is gonna come out of his mouth this is why you got to ask questions because questions will massage his heart what's ever in there is coming out and see a man that does not have good intentions he's not comfortable with questions players don't want questions players do not want questions that's why players usually choose dumb chicks or chicks that act like they've dumb and won't ask questions when a player discovers that you go ask questions and you not just falling for every line but you really going to ask questions he gonna cut that he gonna cut the Dennis short and let him go let him go the question number four he has another go here's another Bob teaches y'all some stuff here but all the players man with me I might need bodyguards all the players man with me I see them all over the country man you mention yourself rap hey I'm here to mess up the game man I'm here to mess up the game number four this is the four question what's your vision what's your vision don't let him sit there talk all night buy this car and how much is caught by the killing about how much new car calls I hanging in a man I got an elemental kilobyte of killing about that that don't mean nothing but you just got some debt you took a whole lot of money and wasted it on something that ain't got no value and then something is not an investment that's all the car mean what's your vision where you where you going where you going where you going to be what do you plan on being in ten years see now that this question is that this question is important because it will give you a glimpse at the reality of your being equally yoked with him or not see because the thing you don't realize is that you attracted to certain things now keep saying is you attracted to certain things now but the stuff you attracted to on the surface is not going to be enough to maintain your interest later and so if you if you hook up with a guy that looks good may have a nice personality he may even be saved but he doesn't really have a vision that you can fit into you're not going to be interested in that guy you're not going to be interested in I can promise you that you're not going to be interested in him see God made Eve to help Adam in Genesis 2:18 the Lord God said it is not good that the man should be alone I will make him an help meet for him Adam needed help why did I don't need help because Adam had a whole lot to accomplish a woman is designed to fit into the life of a man that has a lot to accomplish if you got a man that has nothing to accomplish if a man doesn't have a vision he doesn't need help his vision will determine if you have any purpose in his life never connect with a man today that you can't go into the future with if your vision is larger than his where can it possibly go if you're trying to go to the penthouse and you got a man that's satisfied in the project and along with the project great people start in the project but that's what projects should be a start if you try to go if you try to go to the penthouse and he's satisfied in the project how can you submit yourself to somebody whose vision is too small for you to fit into what's your vision see now man a man that's really ready BAM this is what I want to accomplish this is what I'm trying to do this is this is where I'm trying to go you feel me watch this number five is a good one fifth question your TAS I want to come to church with you Sunday can I come to church with you Sunday Oh y'all been dating now he'd been talking on the phone going to lunch going to dinner about two three weeks now he's saved he got a church got you love his pastor can I come to church with you Sunday oh you gonna mess up something if something not right you are going to mess it up when you ask that see because that church all of his friends are there his family's there people that know him personally are there if he is willing to bring you to his church and sit next to you in his church you may be working with something but if he go to making excuses about you know it is not a good Sunday this is not a good sunday I don't you know I don't I don't think um let's try let me I'm gonna come with you let me I want to come to your church in a way no no no I ask you to come to your church I've been hearing about your past I want to come I want to come and experience your pastor I've asked my pastor I told him I want to come and visit he says cool well she says cool so I want to come to your church ask that see because watch this you're not going to allow a man to keep you as a secret never let a man maintain you as a secret because anything anywhere you find secrets sin is not far there's something wrong anything you have to keep as a secret there's some desert there's something wrong never let a man keep you as a secret after 2 or 3 weeks of talking and dating it's time to meet people it's time to go places together you never let a man disrespect you and keep you as a secret never I want to come to church with you I want to come to you I'm gonna come visit your church don't let him just keep coming to yours go to here see because [ __ ] church know everything about you they know who you been with I don't know how they know it but they know they find out all your business they know who you've been with they know you know if you dealing with somebody now and more than likely if you're dealing with somebody they are in the church don't ever let a man keep you as a secret I want to come to church with you your family reunion I want to come meet you people well you know this is after you talking all this stuff buddy believe you the one and all of that see a lot of that good talk now y'all got to hear what I'm saying to you a lot of that good talk is just really setting you up to drop your guard sexually man to take you all the right stuff to get you to drop your guard sexually but when you tell you all that stuff and on the sly he's keeping you in the background you have to be wise enough not to play not to become not to come off of the bench I'm a starter put me on the floor put me in the game coach I want to come to your church all right number six john 3:19 for number five talks about how men loved darkness rather than light because they seeds were even the greater principle there is that when people's deeds are evil they love to keep things in the dark when you walk in right you can put everything out on the table number six do you have any children but this of course is a question you asked you early on in in the dating process do you have any children see a real man is a good father and a good father will always talk about his children see once you ask that question do you have any children if he's a man of depth and character the conversation is going to go a little bit in the direction of his children and him telling you about them if he just had I got I got a couple of kids no no no no you can automatically discern from that response that you're not dealing with the kind of man you certainly not dealing with the kind of man that you ever want to have children with because a real father once you ask him about his kids he's going to take a few minutes to go on and on and talk about his shooting I'll probably pull out his phone and start showing you pictures you know don't we don't care him in the wallet and when we carry them in the phone he's going to go on and on and on but if he has children and has nothing to say about them and speaks of a lack of character the only exception would be if he's a father that is in a situation where he's not allowed to be the kind of father that he then even then you'll see the pain on his face you see the pain on his face Bible says in proverbs 13:20 to a good man and even and inheritance for his children's children what does that mean a good man is always attached to his children he's connected to his children he lives and he thinks about his children even his children's children you never want a man that does not take care of his children number seven what's your position on sex before marriage si this is another one that you just kind of pull out of the air and just throw it out there what's your position on sex before marriage a man that can Upstate now none listen to this carefully y'all got to hear me you got to hear me now you got to listen to me a man that cannot abstain from sex before marriage probably won't be able to abstain from sex outside of marriage now you got to hear what I just said a man that cannot abstain from sex before marriage may not be able to have stayin from sex outside of marriage because lust knows no limits if if he doesn't have any control of his sexuality pertaining to you if he saw out of control that he got to have sex with you what's to say that when you marry him that he's not going to be out of control behind someone else outside of marriage you need a man that has control of his sexuality y'all don't hear what I'm saying to you I'm trying to talk to him pastor but they don't listen to me you need a man that is in control of his sexuality you can't find in a turn-on because a man is out of control with lust for you if he's if he if he has lust for you what's to stop him from having lust for the woman across the street or down the hall if he if he can't control himself with you you know contrary to what y'all believe when dudes get married the eyes still work and if his if his eye sees what he desires and their love spills up in him what's your position on sex before marriage now you got to have a position that you're not gonna have sex before marriage you can't throw that out there and you sitting there with all you all this out and you know oh your throne showing and all that you know when you bought them low-cut jeans and you sit down you know what happens and you doing all that stuff in front this man you you can't you can't be living like that and throwing a question like this out you got you got to be living right first y'all got to get it together some of y'all need to take your whole entire wardrobe and throw it out of the house you need to get it out of the house because it's misrepresenting you it is misrepresenting some of this stuff I see y'all walking around in you need to get that stuff out of the house burn it what's your position on sex before marriage that's the first thessalonians 4 3 & 4 says for this is the will of God even your sanctification that you should abstain from fornication that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor every one of you should know how to control your bodies in sanctification and honor you do not want a man leading you that is not in control of his sexuality alright number eight only have nine what time is it all right nobody what is the difference between a man's role versus a woman's you got to ask him that what is the difference below he because when you when you ask him that you're going to discover if he's one of these what I call feminized men that that has subscribed to this modern manhood where a man pretty much plays the role of a woman you know he's satisfied with you earning all of the money and he wants to be taken care of you know you that's not a Bible man maybe a modern man but that's not a Bible man it's not a man at all in my opinion but you got to ask him you know and then you may have somebody that's just you know a total neanderthal and just believe that you supposed a home barefoot and pregnant you know it doesn't want you to chase your career ambitions at all you don't want that either you don't want no bum that's gonna lay around and let you play the man play the man's role totally and you don't want you don't want somebody that's gonna stop you from maximizing your full potential but you can't find that out unless you ask the question what's the difference the difference being a man's role vs. woman's role and then he said they say you know what I believe in my opinion the right answer should be something like I believe that I'm responsible to take care of my household my wife and my children but if my wife has career ambitions I want to be able to support that and where I can fit into the the you know the support of the house I'll do that how take care of the children as much as I possibly can to help my wife do whatever she wants to do so you won't you won't you want a man with a balanced perspective but you can't find that see a lot of y'all Maron people then you figure out the man doesn't want you here I want you to go to school he doesn't want you to work he doesn't want you to have a business he wants you to just stay home and have sex and have babies and then you come into office after you but see you should have figured this out before you walk the altar with this man term out I do but you can't figure it out until you you ask him the question what's the difference between a man's role versus a woman what does it mean to be a husband what does it mean to be a wife what are you expecting what would you expect from a wife well I am I would expect you to quit your career I would I would expect you to stop stop going to school and just stay home and walk around in slippers and cook for me all day in that room that being a housewife is the greatest occupation in the world but it's got to be something that you desire to do as a woman you don't want you know you don't want to be enslaved to it because you married the wrong kind of men see everybody not meant to be together some women want that kind of man some men want that kind of woman but you not gonna know if y'all equally yoked until you ask the question what is the difference between a man's role versus a woman's in your your mindset a master in three one of my favorite texts can two walk together except they be agreed you got to come to the same place you got to walk on the same path and then number nine watch this now this question here should be asked thank you Pastor Marty this question should be asked probably after I would say a month I would give it a month of dating and talking obviously no sex no sex this question should be asked number nine and I'm done for the night what have you learned about me after about a month of dating and talking you should ask this man what have you learned about me you see this is this is an important question because love pays attention and a man that would be mature enough to nurture a woman completely at the deepest levels is a man that pays attention and learns her preferences see because what you're going to do you're going to be intentional you're going to you're going to share certain things about yourself what you like to eat your favorite color you know just just stuff about you your favorite restaurant your kind of music you like your favorite artist you can share this stuff just dropping this stuff periodically and in most cases if he's a quality man if he's a mature man you'll find him acting on what you shared you know you will he'll bring you he'll start bringing you to your favorite restaurant and he'll start you know he'll buy you your favorite flower or you know he'll start he'll start catering to your preferences see you don't want to you don't want to go too far with a man it does not pay attention to what you desire what you need and what you like you don't want to submit yourself to man is not concerned with what you like because his role is to honor you how can I honor you and I'm not even paying attention to you so when you ask a man what if you learned about me after month and if he has nothing he has nothing comes up with nothing he may just be playing a role just to get you to the because you know do to play the role for a long time to get get a certain kind of woman to the bed if he if he has enough desire for you sexually he'll play that role for a while but he's not really paying attention to you he's just he's running game and when you ask him the question what have you learned about me it's going to reveal to you if this man is really into you or not because a man that's into you is paying attention to you and he's remembering the stuff that you prefer because he wants to impress you and he wants to give you what you desire look what the Bible says and I'm done in Philippians 2 1 through 4 says if there be therefore any consolation in Christ any comfort of love any felt if any fellowship of the Spirit if any bowels and mercies fulfill ye my joy that you be like-minded having the same love being of one Accord of one mind let nothing be done through strife or vainglory but in lowliness of mind humility that each esteem other better than themselves see true love always esteems others above ourselves I'm more focused on you this is not only true in the fellowship this is certainly true in romantic relationships that may turn into marriages if a man is not seeking women always concerned about what y'all always remember a birthday is you remember everything about us but we rarely remember anything about you verse 4 says look not every man on his own things but every man also on the things of others what have you learned about me and then sit back and let him tell you alright so number one are you a Christian number two what matters most to you number three what attracted you to me number four what's your vision number five when can I come to your church number six do you have any children number seven what's your position on sex before marriage number eight what's the difference between a man's role versus a woman's and number nine what have you learned about me that's a good start that's a that's

Channel: RC Blakes, Jr

Views: 625,775

Rating: 4.8407207 out of 5

Keywords: dating, dating tips, rc blakes, robert blakes

Id: Fcr-05ZQlG8

Length: 40min 6sec (2406 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 26 2016