5 Ways to Spot Emotional Immaturity

we've just launched a special membership to our YouTube channel sign up today for a host of unique benefits including monthly discount codes for our online shop custom wallpapers badges and emojis as well as an exclusive chance to vote on topics for future films you'd like us to make the best thing about physical maturity is that it's very easy to spot we can so easily tell when someone has another decade of growth to go and can therefore set our expectations and our levels of forbearance accordingly but we have no such luxury when it comes to emotional maturity here we can be constantly surprised by whom we have on our hands the most stunning forms of immaturity can coexist with all the trappings of adult life and a confident and knowledgeable manner it may be a long time into a love affair or a working relationship before we realize that we are unwittingly dealing with an emotional infant it pays therefore to try to arrive at a few general guidelines for how an emotionally immature person can be spotted and if necessary escape from very fast here are some of the lines that emotionally immature people have a tendency to come out with in conversation and that should at the very least set alarm bells ringing loudly I'm not so good at spending time on my own what separates the mature from the immature is perhaps more than anything else a capacity for being on their own without distraction and thinking about who they are and what they've experienced the mature person can allow themselves to examine and as it were feel their own feelings even when these are very difficult and hugely unwelcome they can stomach an encounter with their own rage their own Envy their own shame they don't have to do what the immature person is constantly compelled to do find someone or something else to prevent them from any risk of understanding their own mind I don't really remember much about my childhood there are very few childhoods in which difficult things didn't unfold without anyone meaning for this to happen with the best intentions children's development gets impeded and bruised what counts therefore isn't that someone had a happy childhood almost no one on the planet did entirely but that a person should have a calm and insightful view of what their childhood was actually like it's good and bad aspects an inability to remember much about the past doesn't indicate that it was idyllic or just a long time ago just that it hasn't begun to be processed and that is a red flag I've never really thought about that before emotionally immature people have great difficulties with conversations that require them to draw on a knowledge of their own enthusiasms sorrows projects and histories so as one sits with them over a drink and asks for example why their last relationship broke up or what meaningful work constitutes for them or what they regret most from their childhood one has an above-average chance of hearing perhaps quite sweetly a reply along the lines that this is all too new and that they've never thought about this before it isn't that the emotionally immature person is being cagey they simply haven't properly inhabited in its authentic pain and intensity of a life that they are actually leading everything is pretty good it's fine all is fine it would be churlish to begrudge anyone a good mood nevertheless the emotionally immature person isn't often just in a good mood they are rigidly unable to enter a bad one everything is declared fine their parents job love affair sex life ambitions because they have no resources for coping with anything that might be more newest and more real that might entail anger loss confusion or wayward desires one comes away from a dialog with such a person disoriented and lonely at the idea that any life could be quite so cheerily one-dimensional it isn't that's just the way that the emotionally immature person is processing things that's just a load of old psychobabble as soon as a conversation threatens their emotional integrity the emotionally immature person will shut it down with the imperious verdict that it is a piece of overcomplicated nonsense they appeal to an idea of robust simplicity instead as though the origins of all our problems might lie in thinking too much it's the sort of attitude that might lead them to recommend that an anxious person pull themselves together or to claim that a lot of mental distress comes from not getting out enough but of course none of this stems from confidence it's a terrified way of blocking one's ears and saying no to truths and ideas that might hurt very much emotionally immature people can be extremely charming and it points entertaining to be around but as a general rule we would advise you to give them a very wide berth indeed and aim to check in on them in about a decade or two life is in the end far too short far too interesting and far too lonely to spend very long around people who lack any interest in trying to be where it counts 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Channel: The School of Life

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Keywords: the school of life, schooloflife, top 5, 10, relationships, alain de botton, philosophy, talk, love, wellness, mindfullness, psychology, how, to, emotional maturity in relationships, emotional maturity test, emotional maturity vs emotional intelligence, emotional maturity training, emotional immaturity, emotional immaturity in a relationship, emotional immaturity parents, emotional immaturity test, emotional immaturity and narcissism, overcoming emotional immaturity

Id: XdE17nu0zdo

Length: 5min 47sec (347 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 11 2020