- Hey, everybody, happy Monday. Now, today we're gonna talk
about being emotionally mature but before we jump into that, did you know that I offer a journal prompt every Tuesday and Friday
through YouTube memberships? You can join today by
clicking the blue button or the link in the description
and it's only $5 a month. Okay, now let's get into today's topic. Emotional maturity is the key to any and all healthy relationships. If we aren't emotionally
mature, we can sabotage things and suffocate within our own negativity and that's why today I wanna
walk you through the six signs that you are emotionally
mature and obviously, if this is something that
you're struggling with, use some of these signs as
tips for how to get yourself back on track because I'll be honest, we all need reminders of how
to be more emotionally mature from time to time. Now, the first sign is that
we have healthy boundaries and I know I talk about this a lot but it is so important to
the health of ourselves and our relationships. We need to know what we're
okay sharing with someone, how often we want to see
them or be available to them and when we have to put ourselves first. So often I see people chatting online as if boundaries are in
some way offensive to them and just trust me, they are not. If you find yourself feeling that way, I would encourage you
to talk about in therapy because chances are you
struggle with enmeshment and codependency, all of which can be
worked through in therapy. Now, the way to set up boundaries is to first, assess what
you're okay and not okay with and if there needs to be some changes in how we interact with
other people in our lives, I'm sorry but we're going
to have to make time to talk with them about it
and it can be just as simple as hey, I just wanted to let you know that I'm working really
hard on myself right now so if I seem a bit distant, that's why and it has nothing to do with you. It's more about me and the
work that I'm doing, okay? Keep it simple like that and I have other videos
all about boundaries so if you need more
guidance with this one, just search Kati Morton
boundaries on YouTube and they'll all come up. The second sign is that we're
able to identify our emotions. I mean, if you think about it, there's no way we can
be emotionally mature if we don't even know what
emotions we're having. So start paying attention. If you wanna cry or scream
for what seems like no reason, we've all been there,
consider what's been going on and how you feel. Are your hurt? Maybe overwhelmed? Whatever it is, make sure
you work to identify it and print out some feelings charts. You can just Google
that and print them out and start selecting three to five emotions that you felt today and you can do this right before bed or when you get home from work or school. Just making time to name them
can in its own way validate it and you'll be surprised at
how very healing that can be. The third sign is that we're able to admit when we are wrong. I know, that person was a total jerk and they deserve to get yelled at but just because someone
else did something doesn't mean that we have
to react in that way. I know. We should always be able to apologize for our part in a situation or argument. Sure, it can be hard
especially if we're still upset but if we've done something
to hurt someone else or said something that we regret, those who are emotionally mature are able to put their
ego aside and apologize. Being stubborn or passive
aggressive about a situation doesn't lend to a solution and
just ignoring what happened and trying to move on doesn't work either. We're going to have to talk about it, admit when we're wrong or made a mistake and work to repair any damage that was done to the
relationship as a result. The fourth sign is that we
are slow to react and instead, we respond thoughtfully
to difficult situations. Sure, they said something that
really got under your skin and you wanted to put them in your place but someone who's emotionally mature is able to slow their reaction down so they don't say or do something
that they can't take back. I also call this utilizing your wise mind. Very DBT of me, I know, but when I'm able to successfully do this, I can sometimes even see where this person's upset is coming from. It could be that they're
not emotionally mature and they're lashing out because of something else
that happened in their day that they just really weren't able to even identify or process or maybe I know about their upbringing and know their over the top
reaction is coming from there. There are so many reasons
people can lash out, yell and try to get a rise out of us but if we are emotionally
mature, we're able to slow down, assess the situation
and respond thoughtfully which will actually prevent us from having to do number three, admitting when we're wrong as often. The fifth sign is that we
can communicate our needs and upsets clearly. This could be as simple
as telling your friend that you really need her to
go with you to that party or letting your spouse know
that what they said was hurtful. People cannot read our minds. I know that would make life
a lot easier in some ways but we are going to have to get better at communicating with one another. It's okay to disagree, to
talk it out, be hurt or upset but that doesn't mean we
have to lose our cool, shout or call each other names. Instead, we talk about it, apologize when necessary
and work to repair and that's why I put this
sign kinda towards the end because it kinda builds
off the earlier ones and I know it's hard to
communicate our needs and upsets sometimes because it means we have
to be a little vulnerable and let people in but
what are relationships if we don't do that? And the sixth and final sign is that we're able to
make decisions on our own. Emotionally mature people don't need others to tell them what to do. They know what they want and
they're able to express that. This could be as simple as deciding whether or not
they want to go to that party or as complicated as picking out the college
they want to attend. Whatever it is, an
emotionally mature person knows how they feel. Shout out to sign number two, remember? They'll know what's okay
and not okay for them and then makes decisions based
on their own wants and needs and this doesn't mean that
we're bullies in any way. It really just means that we
have confidence in ourselves and don't have to look outside for that validation or acceptance. We're already giving that to
ourselves each and every day. I hope you found this helpful. This is something I think
is being talked about more and more and I really
just wanted to make sure that it was being done in a positive way but as always, do you
think I left any signs out? Are there other traits you think an emotionally
mature person has? Let me know in those comments down below and I will see you next time. Bye. (calm music)
