*melancholy piano music intro* Well, helloooo. Oh, how's it goin'? *mark reading*: Find a way out of the house, take away the valuables So Imma BURGLAR! In this game, where it says "Don't Play With the Dolls" ...Imma buuurglar *intrigued ohh?* OKAY, well, what kind of things am I gonna "burgle" (???) Oh, I'm real slow Alright, well, I'll--I'll play with dolls if I FEEL like it And how will I know when there's things of value?? Nice--woAH Do I have b00bs? Heeell YEAH *chuckles* Oh, HELL YEAH! I've got b00bs! Heeeell yeah, owoh, look at meee! Heeey, how's it goin' there? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Either that, or I've got incredible pectoral muscles But I think I got b00bs...heeey, how's it goin' there?( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Anyway, get ready to watch a lets-play that's gonna be entirely shot from a downward angle *Auh du dodododo do-do-doo do la do dodododo* OH Press "E" to open? Oh *opens* *Realization gasp* I snuck in through the attic! That makes seeense! Okay, alright *whimpy in-game "ow"* Owww *laughs* what the hell? Uh oh O-kayyy HmMMMmM Well, why did I go in this place... ...in the first place? WHY'D I do this? I'm just gonna be honest, this seems like a bad idea ALL across the board Is there gonna be some jumpscares in here? This seems like the type of game that would have a lot of jumpscares... And I'm just gonna go out on a limb here and say that there's gonna be...TONS of jumpscares... I don't even see anything of VALUE I'm not able to GRAB anything... It's not like there's any MONEY here... Am I here looking for something specific? Okaaay... Who's--who's *sudden crash* *le gasp* Who's playin' the windchimes over there?? Alright... I dun like this OH Looks like there might be some DOLLS in here! Okaaay... Cigar box... It's a blue triangle Needed that in the other game I was playin' Red circle there! All the things that I needed in the other game Anything in here? No, there's nothing! Like, what am I even doing?? There's NOTHING that I can interact with! If I'm supposed to take--OH You know what I just realized? This looks like that house from the game--uh--where you're tryna steal valuables from the house! Like--like, uhh, THIEF-something. Sneaky thief, somethin' like that I can't remember what it was called, but you guys remember that one, right?? I'm not crazy... Okay, it seems ODDLY cheerful. I think it's trying to lull me into a false sense of security here and I don't like that Okaay... I still have no idea what I'm doin... THE VERY ORGANIZED THIEF! That was it--THAT was it! What I said was NOT it Can I hide in here? Okay, so I CAN, but what would be the point of that? I don't know why I need to hide... That's the first thing that I've been able to interact with this ENTIRE time... *le gasp* I dun like this room This feels like a BAD room Ohhh... OHHHH... Ooookaaaay... Moooon SOMEthin'... SOMEthin'? *whispers* what the hell's goin' on? I don't...get...what I'm...DOIN Also, this seems VERY, like, DIFFERENT than everything ELSE that I was seeing in this place, so-- OHHH HOW LOVELY, what was the point of that? Bu--but what would be-- *Mark reads:* When the moon shines in the sky, the traveler will be protected" There's moon ones... Is THAT what I'm supposed to do?? Noo? What am I doing?! Why am I here?! Why am I doing ANY of this?? What does it all MEAN?! I think this is gonna tak--yeah, this is back to the kitchen What the hell does this all MEAN??? Can't go in there...THAT'S all locked up Okay, there's one more place that I haven't seen And that's THIS weird--oh, this isn't even a door, that's just off it's hinges WHAT am I doing?!? I was told there was gonna be dolls--I don't see any dolls! I got a wierd mannequin here with a bunch of MOONS I dunno WHAT the fuck's goin' on... I'm LOST in a BUILDING and NO ONE'S given me ANY directions. I thought that was something on the WALL over there Turns out it was NOT GOT SOME--maaatches (?) DA'RIGHT Oh OH So there ARE parts... There ARE things to take... Well, I wish I WOULD'VE KNOW THAT I wish somebody would've told me THAT WHAT THE HELL?! How did someone not tell me that?! A'right, wutever Okay, so I gotta find these blue pieces or somethin'? I-It's talkin' about the moon, right? There's gotta be, like, a piece of the moon Whatever it was talkin' about...so If I can just find them, wherever THEY are... This is gonna be a big hunt through the house Wind chimes stopped... As a matter of fact, everything...stopped- Now I'm seeing... -match lights up- ...thing... ...Am I seeing something or is that-- OKAY GOD I thought--oh my god that scared the crap outta me, I thought I thought that thing was two arms of someone dangling down. -sigh- Apparently not though. Okay so--what do I need to do... So there must have been something upstairs that I overlooked because it seems like this was in more of a...readily available place, so I was Oh! I don't think I went down this way So I must have missed something... Can I light this? -match lights the candle- Yeah... I can Okay! There we go, wasted a match but that's okay *gasp* I found the doll Well la-de-da How are you doing? C-can't open that... Maybe I don't want to open that. HEYYYYY How you doin' (Haha Joey) You good? Oh you look good, okay, so you're not going to like... Sneak up on me when I turn my back, are ya? You're not just gonna like Murder me... as soon as I drop my guard are ya? Oh here we go Clock pocket... Okay then *creepy music picks up* That was a bit more... dramatic then it needed to be Kaaayyyyyy *Mark messes around with buttons* What does this do... Nothing? Oh- KAY I don't trust that it's just NOTHING *scary sound= creeped out Markimoo face* The fuck was that? okay... *rip headphone users* WHAT THE FU- WOAH WOAH WAY WOAH WHAT THE FUCKING.... *sad music= bewildered Markimoo face* EXCUuuuseee YOu UHHHHHhhhhmmmm-uh AHhhhhhhh okay... alright... well... that's bullshit That's bullshit and you know that's bullshit so don't play that bullshit with me when you know that's bullshit Find the way out of the house, take away the valuables Ohhh kay Alright, fine then We're going to do this again, and you're not going to be bullshit to me *Mark mimics character grunt* I wasn't even looking at my boobs for good luck alright I'm looking for valuables, now I know what to look for It's the small objects on top of tables and the such as Let's just go immediately to the doll room And see if we can do something about this Hello, again How you doing, is it going to be the same thing up here? Yeah, it's going to be the same thing, okay grab this grab that... *more spoopy music* SO that must be what starts the whole experience here and I don't know why OH There he is Okay so, he's over there- OH he's a comin Okay so, if I go in here and I HIDE Then I should be just fine, RIGHT? Should be totally fi- OHhh HEY BUDDY Mark: Oh buddy- *while freaky clown says "Where are you?"* *Mark mimics clown* Where are you? HOHO ho ho (Mark that's not Santa) um Creepy Clown in distance: Wannnaaa playyyyyyy Okay... I guess I win then *opens closet door prematurely* *Startled Markimoo sounds* *sad you ded music, while Mark looks skeptical* *Skeptical look intensifies* Alright I had a lot of hopes for this game, it did set quite a mood in the beginning of it *Radioactive breath* NOW not as much Now not as much Now not as much, I'm going to give it ONE more go Just one more go And then we're going to have a great time I-eh-uh- It's so fascinating because at first I was literally like *mimicking 9 minute ago Mark* this seems really good, I'm gettin spoo- OH, I'm gettin' chills down my spine here Gettin' all the tingley wiggleys about it And then a whole lot of nothing Oh it's in the same place, GOOD, that's awfully conveninent Oh I've got the hiccups *hic* OH somebody help me *hic* Somebody help me ohMYGOD Okay so... I don't think that there was anything else down here I looked at pretty much everything and it didn't seem like there would be So if I bolt in there, I grab the thing and then I bolt out I should be fine right? *Mark scatting* And turn this on for whatever that does Okay and then I'm out I'm outtie AND I'm down the stairs, he'll never get me So what does that do, I don't even know what that does *radio making noises* *Mark is very confused* okay alright I'm giving you a shot here game Impress me! So I've got this piece of like half-moon something This has got to go somewhere, right? Or maybe it's just a valuable OH Maybe this is... shook Mark* *confused Mark* Thought I heard something... Okay, maybe not... OH WHY-WHY COME ON MAN NOOOO COME ON YOU CLOWN BASTARD GET- no- GO. GOD- Oh god. okay. fine you clown bastard so... OH COME ON NOW You SASSY HAND-WAVING PIECE OF SHIT (very articulate Mark) *Mark mocking clown again* WHere are you I've lost ye *Normal voice* Why are you a pirate? Can I get out of here please? Can I leave? Can I hide? Is hiding even going to be worth- Okay- well- nope- oh *Mark dies again* *dead music plays again, but Mark is done* *considers restart button* *wants to click Main menu button* *Damn what a sexy main menu button* *looks at viewers* *Slow Radioactive breath* I paid money for this I think that's good enough It's good enough for that That's good enough right there, That's good enough RIGHT THERE Let's just move on! We played it We gave it a chance Maybe there's more to the game maybe there IS more to the game I don't know if I could find it I don't have the patience for that BUT ITS OKay It did set up good atmosphere it's just like, once that clown showed up... It became a LOT- lot less fun So we're gonna re- we're gonna- we're just gonna leave it right there *New game* Okay this one's called "Need a Packet" I don't remember downloading this, I don't remember buying it Just showed up! (that's not good Mark) *mouth farts* *Really confused Mark has no clue what to do* ....why..... *tongue noise* Why would you do that? *Mark literally just can't with these games today* No E-En Ru- Ohhhhhh *still looks confused* the fuck... OH Restart day, new job- *still confused* This money...? What? What do I need money for? Alright, let's just go Easy...? *Mark just can't* TWO DIFFICULTIES! Easy and Insane! Let's go insane (right cause you're not confused already, great choice Mark) I don't know what I'm DOING (then why'd you pick insane) What IS this? Are you NAKED?! I'm going to get BANNED Hang on, wait... *pretends to be naked person* *makes fun of himself* I'M GONNA GET BANNED I'M NAKED THERE'S MY DICK oR MAYBE THESE ARE MY BOOBS, I DON'T KNOW I'M GONNA GET BANNED FBI PLEASE NO *fbi breaks down Mark's door* *serious Mark* Alright, I can't be late for work... today's the first day Do I... OH, oh OH- those there *flustered, giggling Mark* Those WERE boobs! Alright, don't know why you were just standing in the middle of your room completely buttass na- what is that? Oh! Drugs? There's apparently drugs behind my head wait, let me Maybe I should be over here hang on I'm um- I'm movin' myself No one panic GOD There we go, there I go, I'm going on an adventure FLIP Man, what is this? I've got drugs up here I dunno what those are for I guess nothin' Oh, I hate that Ook, well I can't be over here now cause of fu- OKAY we're going back, here we gooooooo *derp face and derp noise* annnnddd flip! What the fuck is this? "No, I just want to air this. Yes... Why we're still taking money from them? No... What? We're on Ahem." What the fuck okay... "Can heal, More furniture, One more defender..." *surprised* Defender? ... What the fuck? "Make our city clea..." Whaaat the fuckkk "Hey! Welcome to the job. So it's actually easy." "Today's a trial day. You ask if they need a package and if they do - you give it." whattt? "Hello everyone, it's Aldan, and today we are making cheese 'maaffins'". "160g of corn flour, 120g of whole 'whaat' flower, 300mL of 'malllk', 150g of hard cheese... "50g of butter, 1tsp of sugar (I have the coconut one), 1tsp of slacked soda or 1tsp of 'backing' powder... ...Sift both toops of floower and mix it togoother. Add all the other dro ingrodients. Moox it. ...Melt the butter on the stove. Add" *mark stutters* miwiwiwah... Whaat the fuck dude! What the... "Put dough into muffin forms. Preheat an oven to the 190 degrees Celsius and bake our muffins for 20-30 minutes" "Enjoy!" the fuck? *nonsense* "Goodmorning! Coming up..." what the fuckk Theres an arrow behind my head Start the day for gods sake huh what What is this... papers police? "You shouldn't sell packages. This is bad for all of us" "Need a packet?" here you gooo milk... thank you... yesss? okay, you need a packet? Alright hang on... hu... how do I... five... thank you *whispers* What the fuck is this? Why is there just a pot here? You do need a packet. I don't understand anyyything thats... goddamn it, well there goes all... ... I know theres a ten... I put those in the... okay well it's unlimited. there it is and theres the five, and theres... no. Thats the ten WHY? WHAT THE FUCKK? the tea was five... wha... I've got negative money now. I've got negative money! What da fuck... WHAT IS THIS GAME? alright fine i'll move... hang on I'm gonna move this to the... how do I move it? ah I've got no saved space There, I guess I'm here now tea please. Ten... heres your change. Theres your change, and theres... and the.. and theres. Heres your change. there you gooo there you are ohhkayy.. ... now I'm doing it right End of the day I'm naked again... Why am I naked?!!! I have no... money... and I don't understand what the fuck so its a... it's a simulator of being a cashier at a grocery store I'm gonna keep going on it "Hello everyone, its Aldin and today were gonna continue making rasgulla" "our soft cheese we can either rub through a sleeve or use blendar" alright I guess I can't be here now I don't know I don't know... I don't know... "After rubbing it we'll have that nice and soft mass... use it to form balls each a..." what the fuu. Ahhkay "bigger rasgulla grows over three times its size... My three liters of milk make about 10-15 (he means 25-30) pieces" why am I playing a... what the fuck I've never seen a m-more bizarre game than this game right here I've never. Okay but I'm gonna stop being flabbergasted by it I'm gonna... through sheer force of will I'm gonna stop being flabbergasted by this and Im gonna take this fucking seriously, and I expect all of you... all of you to... what happened to the soup? why is it black? I expect all of you to take it equally as seriously because if you do not take this seriously... this will not go well "One day little girl did not get pies.." Great story! thank you "need packet?" noo halva halva halva halva this is not enough you need more money more mo- there we go... smart... me have money now think think think okay now I've got it need a packet? oh you need a packet wait *boop* and put it in oh- put it in put. put it. put it in the packet out the packet over... here have a packet kay, you've got a packet coffee... tea... soap doo and doo... and a packet! *inhales* god... okay I got it... why do I only get one dollar for that? thats hard... this is hard this game... *sighs* I feel like I'm playing some horrible math blaster from a different dimension im gonna stop being flabbergasted im gonna stop... being... flabbergasted Im going to stop... being... flabbergasted. what is the appeal of this game? honestly... I don't know I really don't know I don't know what I am doing I don't know why I am doing it I don't know if theres some surreal other meaning to this game I... I really honestly, truly don't understand what is... like what is the purpose of this game? obviously someone put a lot of work into this game... this is like a health bar of some kind theres a lot of... whats with the barnacles? but what is... *whispers* what is the point? theres something more here but I don't get it theres got to be! like... it wouldn't just BE this right? I mean it's kind of... relaxing? I guess at its best its relaxing? I still have negative seven dollars, but I, like I guess its kind of interesting I need five... oh. alright... im bailing I'm... bail. Bail! Bail! Bail! Bail hard Bailing hard on that one just, I... can't I can't... I can't think of nothing even to say. I can't think of anything to do I have no idea what that is about. I have NO idea I have no idea. BUT that was "Need a Packet" The name of the game was "Need A Packet" *mouth smack* no idea... *new game intro music* okay looks familiar... NO I've played this one haven't I? No I NO I pla... *confused markimoo* I kno... I played this one *whispers* what? This isn't ringing any bells, but its kind of oddly familiar was there an update? "How did this happen, this is not how it was meant to be. We were meant to get married... Ive played this one! *glass shatters and mark poops his pants* fuck... *door creaks* the fuck no I've played this haven't I? *door slams loudly* shit No I've... what the fuck I've played this! hang on... I've. what the fuck. Why was it in... I've played this!! How about play it again here we go... were just gonna play through it again why not? have some fun! live a little! COME ONNNN whats so baaadd about it!? AHH a plain old classic everybody plays games that they love over and over again right? wh... what do I do? I don't even know what I do. What do I do? Go on and take a sleep? Go nap? okay... were gonna were gonna go ta... okay I got nothing Well, I've uh...OH? THAT'S NEW! Did that happen before?! Noo! Wai--noooo! That's new! Waiiit what da fuck *lights shatter* *Mark waves* Hi *Mark is seriously cunfuzzled* *le gasp *whispers* the baaaby... *whispers* I remember the baby... *Mark reads the note* *sudden crash* woAH-- I do--I did play this before I don't KNOW if it's been updated at all, but...hm I'm not 100% sure about that.. *sudden dramatic boom* *sudden dramatic boom* *again* *sudden dramatic boom* Ahh, that's--that's an issue That's uhh--that's a no good--oHh, I probably need this Excuse me, I'll take this *sudden dramatic boom* Ah- I don't remember that! *sudden dramatic boom* *again* Am I gonna get squooshed? Oh shit--I am Uh--Ho--Uhoh *sudden dramatic boom* Aaah *different dramatic boom* Bwahh I don't remember that I don't remember that! Wait, is it new? *Mark reads the note* Helen is pregnant, we did not plan this *Mark stops reading* Why didn't I use a goddamn condom? I'm just such an idiot Goddamn it! Arrrgg! rawrr-oH What, am I just dead and it's just starting over--or is that supposed to happen? I didn't see an escape--Well there was a key OH WAIT WAIT, is that the same way I died beforeee?! Okay- after this we're gonna go back and we're gonna watch that video together *mouth smack* Cause I don't remember fucking ANY of this I don't remember a goddamn thing here The fuck--I don't remember this Like I remember contextually like kind of this But it just blurs together with everything else *Mark reads note* How'd this happen *stops reading note* OH-How did it happen?! I put my penis in I took my penis out I put my penis in again And then I shook it all about And suddenly she's pregnant! I don't get it! How did this happen?! *lightbulb shatters* Ah-Shit So they've got- there was something else that you gotta do We're gonna- we're gonna play through this we're gonna play through this we're gonna play- *gets interrupted by loud noise* *pretends to be scared* *is done with everything again* So what door am I supposed to unlock with the key again? I don't even know *game makes loud noise* Okay I- got this *more loud game noises* Oh, there we go- easy peasy I guess *creepy lullaby music* Nah... It's the same, I remember it now Oh! I Rem- OHHHHH NOW I REMEMBER IT *Mark reading* "Finally... It is silent. I thought doing this would help me but I still cannot sleep" *Still reading* "What have I done. My mind is lost without her... I need you Helen" Well maybe you shouldn'ta killed that baby Anyways, see ya "I'm coming for ya" *game making scary noise* Who? Who? *scariness intensifies* Why! Is that a baby? *Mark doesn't know what he is doing despite having played this before* Oh! *Mark pretending to be scared* *silence* *gunshot* Wha- OH FUCK OFF Oh I didn't make it- Ah fuck off and fuck you! Oh fuck- fuck youuuuuu Fuck- yeah, yeah I'm out- I'm out- I'm out We're not watching that, we're going to watch some wholesome Markiplier content We're going to watch something really high quality- a Markiplier video Here we go! *starts laughing at old video thumbnail* Oh yeah! Wait! I remember... wait! Okay... Ah, this one? Yeah, there we go, okay What the fuck? I remember that! Why did I do that? And then- *old Mark interrupts* "Hi everybody my name is MARKiplier" "And welcome to hotel remorse" *jumpscare sound, makes Mark pause video* What the fuck? "This is the CREEPIST shit I've ever seen in my entire life" "Holy hell" "Who made this mask "ew" "Just, uh- just having it look at me is just awful" "Anyway. HORROR GAME, nothing I need to explain anymore" "LET'S PLAY!" Hang on, I gotta move this, gotta do like, a side-by-side comparison of this *Mark looks at himself* Alright me, here we go me! Alright, you got this me! Alright let's do this! "Alright, *old Mark reading* Saturday October 2nd, between the times of 2 and-" *Mark interrupts* You know what's weird? I look a lot more like my brother Right here In this- in this moment Like I look a lot like my brother And I don't know why Like me and my brother we kinda look similar But I have like my dad's face and my brother has my mom's face Like mine's longer face and he has like a more rounded face but right here I look a LOT like my brother *restarts video* "two and three am there were several reports made-" *Mark pause video and mocks self* Between 2 and 3 am there were several reports being made- What kind of voice is that you fucking prick *restarts video* "of a single gunshot heard from a hotel. The occupants of the hotel quickly vacated the building in-" *Mark interrupts again* The occupants of the hotel quickly- What the fuck are you doing? Stop being such a try hard you piece of shit! *restarts video* "in search of safety' Except for ME!" *Mark pauses again to mock* Except for me- what are you doing- man *gunshot makes old Markiplier have a seizure* "FUCK- oh that was that gunshot you were talking about" "Holy crap! Let me turn down my volume a little bit" *now Mark nods his approval* Yeah it was loud as balls- that is true *Old Mark reading* "We will get through this and soon be married having the rest of our lives to be with one another" "And this baby" *Mark is disgusted with himself* *Mark mocking himself again* And this baby- And this baby "This is a weird hotel, I'm turning my volume back up! Just because! You never-" *Mocking himself again* Just because! Honestly... My voice did change a lot over the years And it's-it's really weird to like actually listen in on an old video of mine Because, it comes down to where for a while there, it wasn't natural Like, cause I was trying to do the thing where I was projecting Projecting was like- it was- it was just weird feedback *get's distracted* Look, I have the exact same headphones though- I've been keeping these headphones for forever Uhm, but, it was this weird moment where I would like project And it would just like encapsulate this bizarre, like, announcer-y voice It's not like my voice didn't have qualities that I wanted out of it It was just like- I was just trying VERY hard to concisely do this cause You've got to admit, this is only like... what? three years after I started? And it was just like, after the- the incident of the Octodad.. After my voice like, intentionally changed And it took a long time to fight out of that habit Like that was- these are BAD habits as far as vocal, uh, training goes So- it- like I learned a lot from this moment Anyway, here we go *restarts video* "Never know what could happen" *Mark mocks himself again* Never knowww what could happen Also my mic now is a lot better then my mic back then *stutters a little* And my audio processing is much better then it was back then too, so *proud of himself* I learned "I mean obviously I'm supposed to vacate but there's someone who has got a GUN around here" *mocks* Got a GUN around here That is just a bizarre thing... Cause when I was recording these, like, I knew that there was a distinct difference from when I was like, recording, recording and like, when I was talking And now it's like, like I'm just talking like as I would normally talk But, it's just super weird to go back and listen to this *old Mark reading* "She was the important one* *glasses breaking sound makes old Mark lose his shit* "AH FUCK" I remember that sound effect, that's actually- that's a sound bite that a lot of people have used, maybe I've used that in a compilation or something *Ambiance scares old Mark* "AH FUCK AH" "OHHHHHHH GAWD NEVERMINDDDDDDD" "OHHHHHH GAWDDDDD-" *scared old Mark, unimpressed now Mark* What a bitch baby What a pathetic little bitch (over) "Alrighty then that's one helluva warm up for my voice" *Old Mark chuckles nervously* Yeah, and that's the other thing like- I would lose my voice all the time, because I was- I was speaking unhealthily when I was making let's plays Like I was speaking with way too much pushing It was also a factor of like- I couldn't exactly hear myself No I've got better monitoring software- I've got an audio interface that allows me to hear myself at whatever volume I want I can mix, on-demand, the volume of the game vs the volume of my voice So I can always hear myself, like I'm turning my own volume up in my headphones so I can hear myself very clearly And when you get in a feedback loop, or when you can't hear yourself you end up like screaming cause you like- you naturally wanna hear yourself, so it's just weird *baby crying noises* Oh I'm scared Scary baby... *old Mark* "You're not the important one!" "I'm a meannnn man" *Mark whispering obscenities towards his past behavior* *Past Mark reading* "I have no one. I'm left here alone in this darkness." Actually I can't really criticize that cause I do that all the time now anyways, just like Imma MEan MaN Just my voices are slightly beTTER THAN YOURS FUCKO You fucking inattentive asshole.... *innocent past Mark* "How do I get to customer service? They better do something about this!" "Seems to be leaking nightmares from" *Old Mark says Hell like a weirdo* The fuck was that? *Mark replays it* What the fuck did I- What was that?! Oh here, I bet I die here, see I think... *old Mark gets jump scared* "Ohhhhh okay its coming towards me, okay I'm going to get this thing" "Whatever it is, I want it!" "I want it- okay I got it! Whatever it was" "Ohhhh, its closing in on me" Unlock noOOOOOO NOoooo? *confident Mark thinks old him messed up too* See yeah it was tricky! "Crap I'm dead" *old Mark survives* Oh *old Mark cackles in background at current Mark's failure* "No, no, no, oh no none of that, oooHHHHH HI HOW'S IT GOING?" "OHHH OKAYY" "AH God! OH no, no-" What is he worried about? He only shot a baby Maybe you should stop beING SUCH A BITCH ABOUT IT HUH?!?! hUUUUUHHHHHH?! HUUUHHHHH *Mark repeating what the voices in his head said* You're so- you're so harsh over your past" Yeah exactly- yeah, see? It's all good It's all- You can be harsh about your past I don't got any regrets about anything that I've done but its just funny to watch Like I- I watch a lot of like my own videos just to like, self-evaluate Like kinda like get an idea of where I am and where I- where I've been I mean this is only- again this is only, what? Three years ago, so it's not that long ago But it's like, yeah, it's super weird *old Mark is still terrified by the game* "AHHHHH NO KIDDING" I had slightly better reaction times in this one then I did the other one but, there you go "Charlie Behan, that was really good!" *Mark interrupting old Mark* OH yeah wait, wait there is a cheap jump scare coming up *skips to old Mark mourning the loss of T-Bag* "Ohhhh how could it happen? That was really good though!" "I enjoyed that thoroughly! That-" *scared by jump scare* "FUCK YOU" Enough of that! Back to business guys, Back to business. Enough having fun That's not what this is about Alright, you guys just wasted your opportunity because now it is time for another break Ha got 'em! *Mark does a depressed dab* Ah, fuck me I hate myself (same buddy) *ominous intro music for next game* "Dementia - Mom Is Home" Welcome to this one Apparently this is a playstation 4 - like game Meant for that But I don't have a playstation controller-I just got this Xbox controller So we're gonna go with that I think actually I do have a playstation controller over there But I'm gonna see if it works with the Xbox first *sigh* Actually maybe I should just do it with - *reaches for controller* *grunts* Hang on let me see if- Let me see if- AH! AHHH! I dropped something... Okay, I think if I just plug- oH You think this is sacrilege? I've got an Xbox USB adapter, and Im plugging it into a PlayStation You think this is gonna be utter sacrilege? (yes, yes I do) Probably... You think- does this even work? I don't know if this is gonna work *USB plug-in noise* Boop bo di doop! Heard that! Now I don't hear anything... What happened? Do- Okay well it worked! - No Got to restart the game Goddamn this shit The shit I go through to try to give you guys a good experience! (tnx Mark) When it comes down to games! I should have just gone with the- WHATEVER Here we go... Alright- were going in again No complaints-It's all good Its all good Its not working It's not working... Wasn't even worth doing! Okay that didn't work We'll put that away, and we'll just bust out- Why did I even try?! Why did I bother to try?! Why did I try?! What was even the point of trying?! I was fine- everything was fine Why did I try? I just needed to- This is fine I bet! I bet this is going to be fine Here we are Spooky! Boop! There we go- Okay It does work-Apparently Alright- Here we go! oh- oOO It looks good Veery nicee I'm not sure why they out this out on PC if it was supposed to be a playstation demo Maybe they just needed accessibility for it- For people to see it Allrightt... ooo Okay- Oof Why is everything so blurry? Oh my God that hurts my eyes Im suuuper drunk I believe Im just gonna try to very gently- non vomishly- Navigate through this place Okay, do I need water or should I turn this off? "X" Here we go Sploosh- Ah! Cleared all the dust out of my eyeballs- Now I can see good! *noise comes from door* Hello... *noise again* *noise* *noise* *noise* kayy? Find the keyyy?? To my own front dooorr?! Why would I need that? Why would that be a thing?- What is this? Oh welp- Found the key to my own front door I guess? *doorknop is turned* Hello? Peek a boo *lights flicker* *thunder* What was... Uhhh Find and pick up the flashlight? What was that?! Grandma?! Grandmaaa Oh wait... Uh Oh *exhales* There we go- Okay there we go Good God- Okay now I can move What what happened? I'm now crouched Why am I- There we go- Okay I thought I was done because I was pressing buttons on the controller and it wasn't working- But I think we're okay Alright Grab this- I've got this Push- Pull... *whispers* what the fuck? *whispers* what? What? What the? Wut? Wut? *mark vigorously presses controller buttons* Wha? I ca- I can't mo- I can't move! I ca- *vigorously presses controller buttons* *exhales* *depressed exhale* I just want to play the game... Okay... I want to turn OFF this contro- I'm gonna- Im gonna turn of this controller Getting steamy up in here (hell yeah it is) Its like you get one good game experience out of like six bad ones And it's just like mann if like- It's almost as if there should be some way to teach people like HOW TO MAKE GAMES PROPERLY! Now I'm being shitty about it- Now I'm being shitty And now I'm being shitty! And you know what? I don't give a fuck if I'm being shitty about it! Because like it should be simple- It should be simple! Playing games should be just easy and simple, and FUN! FUN! FUN GAMES! FUCK OFF! Fun- I can't move But I can press the menu button This button brings up the menu *vigorously presses menu button over and over* *look of frustration* okayy I don't know why suddenly the Xbox controller broke But we're gonna try this again *mouth smack* We're gonna try this again I'm gonna plug the controller in directly And that's going to fix all my problems (I wish life worked like that) I guarantee- All of my problems are about to be solved Nevermind They are not kay... I can't more with mouse and keyboard I can only do this... This is working- Okay that works This no longer works... Try restarting And I'm not gonna be angry about it It's a NEW opportunity A new opportunity to- What the fuck Suddenly... I have motion controls enabled Pretty good game huh? A pretty good game! Oh Imma go get him! Here we goo! I'm gonna get him! YEAHHHH WE WON! YEAH WE WON! Hell yeah guys!! I'm going to throw up I don't know what the fuck is happening here I don't know why the fuck its happening but I can't play that game SOO YAAAAHOOOOEEEYYY! YeeHaw baby Man- And I wanted to play that game it looked great@ That game looked great! But then it wasn't let's do something else Let's try this one... It's called "Miss Eyesore" *melancholy new game intro song* So this is "Miss Eyesore" oooOOoo oh that looks spooky!! *reads screen* "This game contains flashing images, loud sounds and jumpsares" I like the sound of that!- How to play I don't like this *reads game details* *inhales* Oh my God *continues reading game details* *sighs* My God *continues reading* *Mark struggles to live* An essay is NOT good game design! Alright lets do this- Got to get the generators 1-9 Got to make sure they don't break But if they are breaking, then they got to break Hello! Hello Hello! *Mark reads screen* Alright "Read the transcript" I don't need to SO What was that about lights? Shinin' Flashin' Dat seems bad so... The doors locked- It leads out but it is locked uh oh Six don't look so good! Wait, where am I? I'm here Uh Kay thats to the right Okayy Is this a generator? ba da bing ba da boom baby! Did that Okay so I did that and then- Okay One, two and three are going out *whispers* I don't know man Generator is fine for now Here we go... Perfect! Okay, so how do I know if Miss Eyesore is coming after me? like- Will I have a clue or is she gonna pop out of nowhere? Okay- Eight and seven No- Oh wait no- Wait Which way was eight? Oh noI went the wrong way It's all down this way Okay oops Well fuck me then This ones fine down here Man why do they need nine generators for this? I mean if they're all breaking down all the time whats even the point of having them? Alright wu- wo wa OH FUCK ME! "You didn't close the door to generator 8 in time" Ohkayy Okay this- this- this Okay whatever- Alright Okay Alright here we go! Okay so I know this game I only gotta survive five minutes Theres a countdown on the top left Okay number five- Easy peasy Easy Peasy Easyy peasyy Easee my pazzizy I've got a lot of pazzizle My pazzizles are good I've been known to have quality pazizzles And nobody can argue that Alright?- Okay we're good Okay this one Eazgy-Pazoozgy Humzky pazumski And amzgy pazozgi (these captions are a disaster) What in the- What kind of What kind of lame excuse is it that like these- Like I'm trapped in here with all the generators What are these powering besides just the lights? Like this many generators Like it would have to be something dramatic Oh that might be going out soon What the- Okay Oh shi- OH SHIT OH SHIT I'm closing that down I closed off that other way but I don't know if that was a good idea Because I may have lost those generators But I think its better just to play it safe for this round Not that one Got it- Okay Easy pazoozle (not again) Can I just close this one too? Just because Got it! ooh! Now we get seven Seven, Im on it! I'm on it babe! I'm on it! I'm in it- I'm in it to win it No Miss Eyesore for me okay Alright I ca- can deal with this like gameplay This gameplay's nice- But just the instructions for it weren't too good- Like you could do an escalating thing For it if you wanted to Nothing over here ooo number five again OOO don't break, don't break rrrgh Haboo Okay- goodx8 And is this one breaking? Seems like it might be breaking Yeahhhh okay alright mmm I'm goood I'm good baby- Im good at this game! uh why are you breaking again you son of a shit?! You think you can jus- I turn my back and you just break?! You stupid piece of crap! Oh man I'm gonna run out of power So all of those are broken now Were looking at number eight- Okay Eight, I'm coming to you baby! Eight you think I would leave you behind? The answer is no Shit There we go Alright I'm just gonna peak over here to make sure that this one isn't breaking Kay, seems fine Okay- I got this! I understand this! I can see how this is going Oh shit! Noo this isn't going to be good Ohh shit Oh- OHHH NO WAY NOPE! NO WAY Not going down there! Okay that's bad Oh that's bad! How in the fuck?! Do- Oh Go- OH GOD OH GOD OH- Oh God! Oh I- uh- FUCK Uhh- Fuck Um fuck Okay well I'm fucked Uhhhh Ummm Uhh I have this- Wait I forgot to- Oh fuck off Come on just let me- I have OH FUCK OFF! NO FUCK IM TRYING TO SHOW PEOPLE SOMETHING STOPPP! DONT KILL ME! Right there Uh Oh WOAH! Woahhh Okayy And there we have it- I'm dead *whispers* How in the fuck *whispers* How would you do that? How would you do that? How would you do this? Like it's- That would be almost impossible Alright I'm gonna give it one more try I'm gonna give it one more try and it's gonna be good I'm gonna- I'm gonna do it more by like when I'm in an area I'm gonna listen Cause this feels like it would just be almost impossible Alright- I'm going Okay that seems fine I guess I can look for like flashing lights Cause if anythings flashing then I would be guessing that- Oh I can shift to run I wasn't sprinting Oh well it was broken Okay so I wasn't sprinting Why would they have two modes? Why wouldn't you always be going as fast as you could go? That just seems silly Okay You should ALWAYS be going as fast as you sho..could go OH MY GOD- OH MY GOD Okay great Oh fuck me then! Is this one okay? This ones okay? Alright you're fine Why did I even bother looking?! Who else? Who else? Who else? Ahh fuck! Well thats not good Okay pleasee Okay uhhhhh- Ughhh Ughhh! Uh oh Okay not that one! Thats okay! Okay thats bad This ones going down It's okay though Ughhhh Okay this is stressful! I will admit this game is very stressful Like very stressful Okay I closed that one down- We're okay for now Ohh I'm off I'm off It's better to lose just one than an entire wing of 'em Thats for sure Which is what I panic-did the last time Okay Okay- One generator is now down again but which one is it? Oh of course it was- The one farthest away from where I was Of course it was gonna be that one Why would it be anything else? Thats fine for now, sure it is Okay whatever you say... "eeeebooski" Okay, I'm probably super behind On everything "Ahhhhhbooski" Okay what else we got? What am I missing? How am I failing? I'm failing like that? You got it buddy Im failing (me too) I love it- I love failing (I don't) Okay, here we go Ooh SHITT! DWAHHH DAAAAHHH Okay was that one fine? Was that one broken? Okay it was not broken- But NOW it is Okay now it's broken I think I'm gonna- I might make it this time I may make it- Ooh NO I might not No I might not No I might not NOO don't break! don't break! don't break! Okay we're good Okay got that one How are you doing? You good? Okay, you good Okay what do we got? UGHH Eight- Eight and seven Okay got it "Uhhhhhh booski!" And what have we got- Oh You just did that! When did you do that? Okay you're good- I've only got a minute forty-five left Do I have enough time to go down to five? Yes? No? May- Huhh NO No Nope- No One Ehh One! ONE! You alright two? You good? Two's good Okay, Two's good Okay- Uh WHYY SEVEN AND EIGHT Why the farthest ones? You sack's of shit Okay I'm gonna go to seven first, just because I can Cause I thought it was go- I think that one went down first Eight x10 gimmeee Something else went down Something else broke Of course! It broke oohh No- NOO I'm fine Uh let me get this one first- NEVERMIND no I won't Let me try to go for this one first *mumbles* oooh Less than a minute- Ten percent power OH I'm fucked I am fucked I am exceptionally fucked I am unbelievably fucked I am ludicrously fucked OHH Fuck! Ohh f- OH F- FUCK Got close- NO No- Hey! Woah!- Wait! Woah *Miss Eyesore noise* HEY!- Oh fuck *exhale* Thats hard! But good! I like that The mechanic is tight- The mechanic is really good The mechanic is- The mechanic's okay Let's try that again I think we can do that Now that I- Now that I know what I'm doing Now that I really know I just need to be more efficient about the directions that I go to get what I need to get And know I know to run- Like the whole time Maybe it might be- It might behoove me to wait like for like a few- If I know I'm gonna be running of into a distance like- Just to see Yeah but I'm not gonna do that I'm just gonna try to gun it Nine of nine Eight of nine- So one just went down I've got to pay attention to that too Eight of nine, so one is down If another goes down then I got to like inspect Where did it break? x6 We've got two down- Oh shit Well this is one where Ive got to make a choice right? Aw fuck me Aw fuck me it's already falling apart Yeah it's like as soon as you get one thats like away from another it falls apart And then everything goes to shit and-- Oh Goddamn it oh- Oh fuck me Thats got to- AHH I SAW THAT! I saw you Miss Eyesore! I saw you Miss Eyesoreee Uh shit- Well lost one already I'm gonna lose another one if I'm not careful Which I'm not If I lose this one, I lose two of them Please- Yes Okay Another one went down Oh fuck me- Oh GO GO THROUGH THE FUCKING THING YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE Okay two minutes left- We've got plenty of power for two minutes left Thats pretty good Seven and nine- Thats pretty good! I think one's down? Yeah- Oh two's down Okay I'm gonna go to eight first I think Or nine first I think the other one went down juust before that So thats fine This one- Oh another one went down So this is where things are gonna go bad because Things are just going to start "domino-ing" down and I won't be able to control it Shit! No- Oh it was fine! Oh Goddamn it ok well... gonna have to live with that one now Ohh shit-fuck Okay, alright It wasn't broken when I walked by it before, so why would it be broken now? *grunt* This game is stressful *mumbles* too stressed Too stressed Too stressed Too stressed Oh well thats gonna be- Oh thats gonna bite me in the ass Oh- don't break x6 Ohh its gonna bite me My ass! My ass! My ass is about to be bitten Oh fuck me- One minute left One minute- OH shit both of those just went down Oh fuck, Oh fuck, Oh thats down Wait, no did I- *says shit repeatedly* EAYY! SHIT FUCK ME FUCK I'm gonna run out of power FUCK I'm so close No, Noo, Not like this Not like this x6 OHH never mind Not like this! NOT LIKE THIS NOT LIKE THIS NOT LIKE THIS NOTT LIKEE THISS! NOO Shit! Ah Titty sprinkles AHHH FUCKK MEEE! AHHH Thats hardd Ughh Oh well I'm gonna call it. Im gonna call that one That was it for now We played a great game , and some pretty alright games... And then some bottom of the barrel games So thank you everybody so much for watching! And as always... I'll see you, in the next video... BUH BYEEE!!! *lit outro music*
