3 TERRIBLE GAMES

hello everybody my name is markiplier and welcome to a few terrible games and now what do I mean by terrible games I think you all know they're pretty much on the low end of reviews on Steam they're of questionable quality they're of a questionable content and generally all around I just don't understand why they were made in the first place but sometimes you get games that are so bad that they spin all the way around the wheel of quality back to hilarious so I'm gonna see if that happens now with a game called milky boobs what it is all [ __ ] alright so milky boobs is oh I did not need that it's a game where oh boy how do I even describe it maybe I I think what I have to do a I have to read you what the store page says about this game before we even get started about this okay so this game comes in at a mixed rating a whopping 53% only 28 reviews but milky boobs says oh oh my god paradise the summer has come and what could be better than to relax at the beach with some gorgeous ladies having fun but then [ __ ] got real maybe it was the Sun maybe it was because too many mojitos on the beach maybe it was out of feminism but suddenly all the beautiful girls went crazy and got too hot now there is only one thing you can do to cool them down milk lots of cool extra juicy milk good thing you always have that milk blast through with you and are ready to rescue who managed by cooling down some hot babes but why me I hear you crying because life doesn't get better than this okay so protect the beach babes from overeating take a cooling break at the beach with a boobie resort refresh more boobie base than you could ever dream of most importantly milk them all see yeah that doesn't make any sense at all chill mode rescue some cute girls from overheating in the relaxing chill mode or well don't simply lean back and enjoy the scenery everything is chilled in this mode grill mode [ __ ] is getting serious the babes are so hot they're literally on fire better don't get too close to them or you will get hurt I see that one they don't like that at all never played this game before but I can only assume that it is of incredible quality it's whoa what was that it's freaking out and all the babes are going crazy there's only one thing that can help take your milk gun and refresh them with your amazing white liquid but only milk them when they're overheating whoa whoa ladies ladies ladies ladies ladies oh it doesn't want to cool down all right that one's just okay that's bugged apparently okay this one's just not cooling down I guess nope I guess it just doesn't work anymore I'm out of okay all right why why why why why why why I just wanted to milk you it doesn't work it doesn't work it doesn't it doesn't what it doesn't work I got burned seems like those hot babes were tomb we're we're we're too much to handle again shall we again yes okay again I'm gonna go with again okay pick up 50 milks I got it okay all right so far so good uh sorry ma'am sorry oh why are you unhappy okay I did not all right hey whoa whoa whoa don't get too close what happens if you just run in the water why couldn't have just have a super soaker oh they don't even go in the water they all right ah you beautiful ladies please get the hell away from me hmm if I see in the water I'm fine right you can't get me when I'm in the water okay that doesn't make any sense there's a lot of fire seems to be a problem here so you tell me that I could just break the game and I can stay in the water go up get milk jump back in the water and I'll be fine yep this game is incredible why does this even have a 50% why does this even have any ratings that are positive at all okay now it works okay that doesn't make any sense also where'd the steam coming from that's okay all right I don't like that I don't know why you just have to collapse and spasm as soon as they hit them with my milk sorry lady very sorry I don't know why you're congregating behind the bar okay okay nope nope doesn't register I'm literally splatting my milk all over you they're immune to my milk oh [ __ ] those clothes how do women are here and how many women are just on fire all the time you lady I can't sight though how'd you dodge that what are you in the matrix be in the milk Trix the milk Matrix Blue's Blue's Blue's Clues flew sploosh okay sploosh sploosh Blue's Clues I don't like the giggles as the thing I don't like the giggles it's just a constant stream of giggles hello can you please stop okay well that's great I'll go try chill mode all right I'm gonna go to boobie Bay ha ha ha ha chill mode oh god I've never had such a splatty game before but he's perfectly innocent this isn't a euphemism for anything at all it's totally just splatting women with milk which is not good by itself but you know if you think about it it's not that terrible sorry all right ladies all right well I'm getting about 15 frames and say okay and women are falling over wherever they are which oh I didn't do that you seem to be fine ma'am you know you could just take a swig of milk by yourself even though there's wine in here okay more milk for me press F to pick up oh I didn't press F I just walk into it you're lying to me you say press F to pick up it's okay sorry ladies sorry you want some sorry sorry I'm sorry oh hi hello okay sorry you got in the way of that one that's not my fault oh boy there you go lady oh the framerate is great on this game oh I hate it when they just walk right into my line of fire like that hello you didn't need them okay you don't need milk but there you go wait what am i wearing my SWAT officer the my the milkman milkman here hello ladies I see you're all hiding from my milk may I please please cool thee okay now cool you down I suppose I uh okay this is a fun game great milk man feels godless with his life how'd you feel good knowing that I give all the ladies of this island exactly what they want low frame rate and way too much milk I don't know if this game sends the right message I'm not sure what message this game sends but I'm pretty sure it's not the right one yep okay all right oh oh um sorry yeah I think I feel accomplished enough for one lifetime in there I just don't like when they spread up to me and stare at me like that no I don't want to give you my milk ah I don't give you my mouth okay all right you know what I'm gone I'm done that's enough of that I'm leaving we don't need that anymore this is whiplash and on its surface and according to the trailer it actually may seem like a fun and interesting game however it is anything but that it comes in at a whopping 30% positive rating on Steam and it probably is inspired if not completely copied from goat simulator but as you can see it is anything but that it runs at a bar it runs out of fantastical two frames a second right and instead of being funny at how bad the physics is it is instead just plain ol bad all right yep this is I haven't actually played this before but I I'm pretty sure I I could've okay I can't get up again ah here we go instructions perfect okay are to go in and out of ragdoll perfect okay nevermind it only goes in to rag doll it doesn't go out of ragdoll it only goes into ragdoll okay alright that's not how that works all right you know what I'm just gonna respawn I'm just gonna read nope I'm still in ragdoll can't get out of it okay can I start nope can I respawn nope okay I'm just like this forever now I don't get a choice at all how do I get out how do there's an entire city outside of this how do I get out why am I still okay why did I teleport through that can I let me leave please Eadie's you need the key you need a key to the outside door you need to find a okay I think I see the key it's right next to the goddamn door of course it is why would it not be right there alright okay alright I've found a way to fly apparently okay alright that is normal I don't know where it's taking me but here we go can I please get somewhere what I'm just going into the desert now sorry my people need me I have to believe okay if I kick I if I kick I steep going up yep if I keep kicking I just fly well found out a fly that's nice this awful you you'd think it wouldn't I'm trapped in this guy now oh that's unpleasant to look at alright well hi I'm stuck in the middle of the air that doesn't make any sense at all can't get out of ragdoll odhh can I respawn please thank you thank you very much we I hate okay oh boy great yes you think that it would not be hard to make a goat simulator clone that is in some way fun okay Brooks okay okay okay no I'm not falling through the world I'm clearly in the world I feel like I need to play goat simulator next just to compare how much better goat simulator is at being a completely broken game how you doing oh boy oh I'm so sorry yeah sorry now you are trapped in the perpetual nightmare of ragdoll mode hello sorry oh hey how's it going there were you waving at each other sorry okay never mind I take back everything I said about this game because this game suddenly became a maze excuse me mind if I just nudge man this game is pretty amazing alright let's fly I guess don't mind is that cartwheel down Main Avenue here what what wait wait whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa are you Wyatt why sorry I didn't mean to interrupt your tree KISSING I'm very sorry about that oh okay you're still kissing okay well that seems to be what are you are you taking a poop never mind you're taking to death okay oh I don't know why their spines instantly decide to break okay they just go to a figure s by the time they die sorry are you swimming okay can I have this cupcake all right I got a cupcake one of fifty there's no way oh hi there's no way in the world I would go through this game enough to get 50 cupcakes hey do these actually work also what the [ __ ] um all right sorry sorry sorry and how much weed do I have to smoke to never have that in my brain ever again hello dear never mind you're an impenetrable deer also what the hell is happening over here okay sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry very sorry about that okay now that I've ruined your cult I think or you're better off I have no idea I see a car over there let me go grab that maybe that's gonna make this marginally more interesting I mean not that it's that bad I guess hey boats in the ground there yeah those may i press e to you Oh Oh hold shift for turbo sorry alright not that bad I guess oh there's no traction okay there's no excuse for how bad that handles okay there's no traction whatsoever I can't drive I'm out apparently all right well that was fun I'll never do that ever again I'm just gonna cartwheel my respawn Oh oh my god what the [ __ ] I'm finally back oh my god I'm finally out of ragdoll mode Wow well we while you are we this isn't nearly as interesting though I've got marginally better control over my hello how are you doing it sorry guy admit I kind of liked it better when I was sliding on my ass ooh a bike can I Drive that oh okay that's one how how what are you why are you holds E to front-flip that's okay I guess that's how that works what are you doing huh okay I just like Oh and I'm down here now what what what what okay and I guess I'm just perpetually down here now all right okay that's great there we go and I'm back in [ __ ] here all right all right is there like a demon mode I wish I really hope this demon mode because I was just looking okay never mind that I guess I'm not gonna do anything I wanted to do sorry sorry I didn't even kick you all right I think I've plumbed the depths of the quality of this particular game and I don't think it's gonna get any better any time soon but yeah this is oh and I got a sorry um I don't even oh okay didn't expect you to keep twitching I think your rag doll is still trying to dance that's not okay I'm just gonna go up these stairs oh good another one hey your twin - okay that's not right okay I'm just gonna kick the [ __ ] out of you sorry I think I'm done with this [ __ ] all right so that is crash world ooh whiplash crash valley whatever it doesn't even say the game here but apparently there's a bunch of quests if you want to try it there's dolphins too and ghosts so that was bad but this next game should be good I don't even know I don't even know what to say in the face of these games none of them even make any sense yeah it's just like goat simulator gave every other developer an excuse to be like I'll make a shitty good I can make a shitty game I'll make a shitty game and I'll put it on Steam and it's whopping cost will be six dollars for this piece of garbage mostly negative 35% all right so this next game actually might be amazing it's called oh it's called kickin kittens [Music] Putin saves the world your Intelligence Agency has informed you of sinister alien plot aliens have disguised robots as kittens to sneak into Russia and launch its nuclear payload which would start World War three stop the alien robot kittens by collecting all ten symbols of manliness so Putin can destroy the alien invasion okay I don't understand any of that but I'm gonna try my bit Oh Oh fighters I don't know what the [ __ ] is happening oh okay all right weird word oh my go wow wow wow oh it's not so bad I think I can't quite tell but I'm gonna assume that it's not so bad oh boy how many these are actual kittens and how many are actually robots yeah okay sure thanks aliens for being bastards I don't even know if I can have any wire they're flying this at all why is every flying cats oh my god I can't beat it really done anymore okay well I guess now we're all doomed sorry we're doomed sorry rush I just for some reason I don't think I'm gonna be able to do this I've got nothing to say I've got no intelligent words to say about any of this it's just cats it's just Putin it's just kitten there's there's absolutely nothing Oh Oh cuddles Oh a boss and you ain't gonna give me if there's one thing I'm good at its yanking my mouse oh wow I did it I'm so proud of myself I'm so proud of Putin and his amazing delts are you gonna make it ever harder for me I'm already so good at the game you can't possibly think that it would be any worse Oh God how how in the [ __ ] yeah we do I don't think Putin's gonna make it through this one ah Borden's Borden's ain't gonna do it anybody do the curtains doing anything I can't even tell anymore Putin's just a blur of manliness and abs oh boy well there's the end for me I think maybe not whoa [ __ ] I'm not actually 100% this game oh man this is gonna give me wrist cramps I just gotta fling back and forth as hard as I can oh my god play or its cramping up Putin can't do it Putin K bleed the kitten kill oh oh oh my god I'm really trying as hard as I can guys but my shoulder is cramping up there we go well I've failed I failed I'm a big failure yes oh well I think that's enough for now I'm pretty sure the screen kind of symbolizes the whole adventure in this game here but this has been three terrible terrible games hope you guys enjoyed it and I know that you guys know some games that are so bad they are good not that these were so bad they're good these are so bad that they're bad but if you guys know some games that are just so bad that they really touch a special place in your heart let me know down in the comments below I actually love seeing just the bottom of the barrel of what gaming can be these days so if you've got ideas let me know thank you everybody so much for watching let me know what you thought of these games in the comments below maybe you want to play these games I'll provide them in the description if you really do so thank you again and as always I will see you in the next video bye-bye [Music]

Channel: Markiplier

Views: 3,150,684

Rating: 4.937994 out of 5

Keywords: markiplier, 3 terrible games, game glitches, funny glitches, bad games, goat simulator, whiplash, crash valley, game physics, simulator games, funny games, funny moments

Id: ZByowJMI-eE

Length: 20min 35sec (1235 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 23 2018