3-Hour Compilation of the Best School Stories on Reddit

what zero tolerance school stories do you have my sister almost got suspended in the third grade cause my mom put a plastic butter knife in her lunch one day i forget why she needed it for her lunch one of the lunch roommates spotted her using it and sent her right to the principal's office and they called my mom to come in a third grader stabs an adult with a plastic knife knife breaks adult looks at them confused this was 10 years ago my cousin one grade lower than me got into a fight at school zero tolerance policy says they are both suspended attached to this policy as if a student is involved in three separate fights within their time at the high school than they were expelled within two weeks of my cousin returning one of the guy's friends started a fight with my cousin they are both suspended a few weeks after he returns again another friend of the original kid starts a fight with my cousin in each situation the other kid threw the first punch zero tolerance each time means it didn't matter that is how children outsmarted the zero tolerance policy and why my cousin graduated from a private high school that's really smart of them and really fricked up frick zero tolerance when i was in year 10 grade 9 for americans we all had to line up to go into the dinner hall for whatever reason they put the menu with what they were serving that day at the front of the queue so i walked to the front to read it as i was walking back a tiny year 8 kid grade 7 shouted over to me hey stopped trying to cut in the line you don't head i just told him to frick off and mind his own business as it's the kind of school where if it looks like you're giving in to a younger kid without fighting your corner you won't hear the end of it then the little crap rugby tackled me but he was too small to knock me over so i just kind of stood there awkwardly as he tried to kick me after a while i'd had enough so i grabbed him and picked him up put him against the wall where he was standing before and turned to walk off the headmaster was standing right in front of me and he'd been watching the whole thing we both got sent to the reflection room which is like a higher form of detention the only time i got in trouble was for trying to walk away from a fight started by someone half my size who i probably could have hurt if i had wanted to thanks headmaster now i know in the future that i should just deck the little bastard instead of being gentle because the punishment is going to be the same anyway in ninth grade i was in a class that had some disruptive students that always caused problems for the teacher during the semester they were forced to sit at the desks nearest the teacher's desk i wasn't a bad student at all but for some reason i was forced to sit in the front of them i was pee one day we had a substitute and my entire row gave the sub a very hard time when the actual teacher came back she forced everyone in my room to detention many other students protested for me even the bad students in my row she said that's too bad from that day forward i helped the bad students to not get caught whenever they fricked with her good for you man i always like to mess with teachers if they were unfair to their students not me but my niece once had to do a school project about the voyages we lived in a relevant area in the computer lab so she innocently typed in fur traders com morgnet whatever of course it was p she got suspended we had to do a project on pirates for grade 12 history could not get research done due to piracy coming up on the school filter left a bb gun in my friend's car in high school security saw it and he got kicked out i talked to the principal who was our friend and mentor about reversing the decision or taking the punishment myself he was just as upset as me but he kept explaining that his hands were tied he finally just looked me in the eye and said zero tolerance actually he used my name afterward so i knew the conversation was over my friend graduated from an alternative school that's fricked up i once got suspended because a security guard found an unloaded air soft pistol in the back of my truck let me be clear by pistol i mean those ones made of clear plastic and by back of my truck i mean behind the passenger seat of a crew cab with tinted rear windows this security guard is really doing his job eh marking these suburban high schools safe for everyone also i had a friend who got suspended for bringing a metal butter knife to school with his lunch a knife is a knife people there can be no tolerance for weapons or logic and reasoning two people got suspended for fighting off school property with each other also not my school did a local school and it made the news a girl with down syndrome or an intellectual disability said a popular athlete molested assaulted her in the library and they made the girl write an apology letter to him only to find out later he did do it many times they made the girl write an apology letter to him that is so sad i hope she eventually got justice when i was in 10th grade i was eating dinner with my family and my dad accidentally spills his beer all over my shirt no big deal so i go upstairs and take my shirt off for the night the next day while i'm getting dressed i see that i'm out of clean shirts to wear so without thinking i grabbed the shirt from last night and put it on eat breakfast and get out the door the day was pretty normal until i was called up to the front office i wasn't really a bad kid or anything so i wasn't too worried once i arrived the principal informed me that another student told him that i smelled like beer and assumed that i had been drinking i told the principal about what happened last night and assured him that i had not been drinking he tells me that it still counts as bringing alcohol onto school grounds and for that i was suspended a tl dr some people drink their alcohol others wear it but it is all the same in the eyes of the principal we have a zero tolerance no fighting rule in our gymnasium like even if you lay down on your back while you're getting jumped you'll still get expelled happen to get into a fight with a guy i honestly could easily beat down but since i really don't want any trouble with the school or at home i just blocked my head until the principal came by after a minute of discussion he told me that i'd get suspended for a two weeks even when i told him that i didn't hit back so i did what any teenager would have done i think i got loose from the principal and beat the other guy down and took my punishment if you're gonna do the time you might as well do the crime my school had a zero tolerance policy on cell phones and electronic items obviously you can't convince a high schooler to not bring a phone within her so the administrators would do raids occasionally and bust some phones each time they didn't give it back until the end of the year i don't think that is really legal for them to keep your cell phone for the rest of the year in high school i got suspended for one week because i had a bottle of prescription painkillers in my locker i was taking them because i got a serious knee injury while playing for the school baseball team i also got kicked off the team and wasn't allowed to participate in any sports at school for the last 2.5 years of my high school education the principal explained to me that they had a zero tolerance policy to drugs of any kind the worst part is i could have went to at least 10 different lockers in school and shown him drugs in there but he wouldn't let me because i shouldn't be snitching on my peers screw you principal vikas i mean usually you're supposed to give the nurse your meds but i'm still on your side they went overboard i went to a very very very crappy school district i mean this place is scum in suo many ways my little brother has a dd and mild autism he's a very nice kid and always has been i mean he opens doors for everyone and compliments people he doesn't even know anyways there was a kid in his grade who was the biggest butthole he was mean to everyone even the poor kids who were his friends he always picked on my brother and his friends calling them [ __ ] and everything else one day we get a code red everyone is stuck in their classrooms and there had been a recent trend in girls fighting in the bathroom so everyone assumed that was what was going on number i wish it had been a girl fight i get called down to the office about an hour later my brother and his best friend were walking to class they were at the top of one of the stairwells when butthole mikashad came up behind them and shoved my brother down the stairs as hard as he could my brother tried to grab onto the brick wall to stop himself from falling and ended up dragging his hand down the bricks ripping his hand apart he still has the scar he hit his face on the tile at the bottom after doing several head over heels rolls down the stairs his nose and lip were bleeding and his back was hurt so bad they thought he had broken it he ended up going to the air fast forward a week later he's back in school and the principal calls him to her office this bee i don't know how this bee was ever allowed to work at a school she made my brother shake hands with butthole and makeup she said the alternative was both of them getting suspended because she did not believe my brother did nothing to provoke him from pushing him down the stairs despite two witnesses telling her what happened my brother has been bitter over that ever since also when my mom found out he had to shake butthole mikashad's hand she went to the school and confronted the principal the principal told my mom well maybe if your son wasn't annoying it wouldn't have happened my mom pulled her across the desk and the secretary had to pull her off of her i like your mom there wasn't really a zero tolerance thing back then but school was over i was starting my walk home and a friend runs by and drops his bag by me and yells to me to carry it he were going to play hockey after school so whatever nothing of circumstance came of it i never heard where he was even running to next day teacher is all payoff i go in to see the principal and turns out my friend was trying to pick a fight mind you apparently all he ever did was run after someone but never even got close to them not even the same block there was no fight this also happened all outside of the school so naturally my friend was suspended for a week and remaining days in that week and because i carried his bag i was an accomplice in the fight which never happened i was suspended for the remaining days in that week there was like two three-day vacation for me that i was happy to take it was all crappy rainy days but i was happy to leave so you got punished for a fight that never happened that you didn't know about not quite zero tolerance but my friend's sister grew up in quite a foul-mouthed household with older siblings her first word s was son of a be blurted out emphatically for no apparent reason at the breakfast table and when she was quite young first grade some boy pushed her on the playground she called him a boob he broke down and cried told a teacher she had to eat lunch on the psychologist's office the rest of the year because she was a danger to the other students or something and her mother had to come in mother told them that if they thought that was the most pressing issue they had she thought they should look hot she thought they should look hot she thought they should look hot she thought they should look hot she thought the boob got in no trouble for pushing her because he told on her first she could have easily beaten the crap out of him i'm in britain where zero tolerance isn't really a thing i think the closest thing we got to zero tolerance were when teachers would hold an entire class back in detention including the ones who were not disruptive and were doing the work it seriously peed me off when i was at school it happened mostly during years seven eight and nine i'd have been 11 when i started year seven which is the first year of secondary school in britain teachers at my school did it because it was to punish the disruptive students they wanted the innocent to blame the guilty and ostracize them so they wouldn't do it again i don't have a story but i was blamed for a fight that happened on a weekend that wasn't even off school grounds this kid who doesn't even go to my school who has a name really similar to mine got in a fight with some kid at my school so naturally they thought it was me thankfully a couple days earlier my friend told me about said fight so i was able to provide some background information to get myself out of blame but they took me to a friggin room with the school cop and some other people and they were treating this like a massive deal it's a fight that happened on the weekend at a scatter park and one of the kids doesn't even go to the same school why are you meddling in on their business my school had a zero hat policy because of gangs i got suspended for wearing a [ __ ] skin hat i guess i was representing the davy crockett gang everyone knows the crocketts run the east side of this city bully punches kid in the face kid doesn't fight back because he knows he'll get suspended for fighting kid lets the bully hit him until the teacher gets there teacher gets there and gives a detention to the bully in the bullied my step brother and his friends all got suspended for pretending to have lightsabers at recess no not plastic ones literally their imagination wtf the school was afraid they were plotting to take over the galaxy a boy bullied me for almost an entire year called me fat the kind of thing i said if he kept talking to me i was going to kill him i got in school suspension for two days he got a talk from the guidance counselor about how you shouldn't bully girls you have a crush on chewing gum rather looking like i was chewing gum because my jaw was sore from having rubber bands on my braces ended up in an isolation room for the rest of the day and then got suspended for a week looking back now i realize how stupid most great school suspensions are because it doesn't really teach you anything other than the fact that you get vacation for looking like you're breaking a silly rule exactly i work at a school and a kindergartener told his mom that he tries to get in trouble on purpose because he knows that he will be sent home all they learn is that they break a rule they don't have to be in school i was raped molested every day by my co-op supervisor while i was high school this went on for about four months my parents found out by reading my journal who then called my school i was called to the principal's office and was then threatened with expulsion i was 16 at the time sue the frick out of that school the parochial school i went to had a zero tolerance for lgbt teens out of the closet my senior year right after i came out the vice principal pulled me out of study hall and into his office to confront me about it i'll never forget i've heard some rumors are you gay with a look on his face as if i had threatened to shoot the school up long story short it was either go back in the closet or be expelled i didn't want to leave because it was my senior year i was almost done and i wanted to graduate with my friends in retrospect though seriously frick that guy in that school's administration should have said look buddy i don't know who you think i am but i am not interested in sexual relations with a teacher then getting reviewed for harassment my mom sent a plastic knife with to kindergarten so i could cut up my apple during lunch cafeteria staff noticed and i almost got suspended but my mom told them off pointing out if you're afraid of a five-year-old with a plastic knife there's bigger issues i wonder what they would do post 9 11. comma what would they do post 9 11 probably taser you five year olds can be terrorists too you know i once got detention because the two guys behind me were talking in line we used to have to line up several times during the day army style straight lines with uniform inspection perfect silence my only detention to date a bigger kid pinned me in a corner and tried to stab me with a sharpened pencil say what you will about the lethality of a small stick of wood but having been stabbed with one before i could tell you that it hurts like a bee anyway he pins me between two columns and attempts to shank me with it i disarmed him and pushed him away and then i moved in to tackle him so i could actually get some maneuvering room to escape and get help help came and we both got suspended for the last week of eighth grade frick zero tolerance when i was in high school a girl spit in my eye i see that as the lowest form of an insult you could possibly do to someone so naturally i retaliated i yelled and screamed while my friend held me back eventually due to heart issues and being overwhelmed with the stress on my body i passed out i woke up in a classroom and that was about it i gave the office my account on things and they did their investigation well if i remember correctly it was a day or two later before we were both suspended for fighting i tore my labrum in a football game i was on the bus back to school i was holding my arm in pain the kid next to me called me p told him to go frick himself he spit on me i hawked a brownish yellow spit ball into his eye i proceeded to beat him to a bloody pulp with my good arm don't freaking spit on me i got jumped at my middle school kid whipped at my backpack and threw me to the ground he proceeded to punch and kick me when he ran off i threw a pebble and told him that i'd kill him i got suspended for making a threat despite having a split lip and black eyes another kid pushed me and i landed on my wrist wrong kid was coming for me again and i threw a fistful of sand school said there was nothing they could do because my arm wasn't broken i did however have a severely sprained wrist yet principal looked into suspending me for using a dangerous weapon my mother ended up marching to the school and got me out of that one till pocket sand is a dangerous weapon one wet day in grade four we were all confined to the tarmac this was done for the same reason that children are bad enough muddy children would be insane to deal with however something was stopping the proper drainage around a sewer grate this fascinated the boys in my class and we promptly decided it required contest we lined up and began seeing who could jump over this very sizeable puddle last were had in a few socks were soaked this behavior brought down the full wrath of the administration we had flagrantly disobeyed the nature of our asphalt confinement and spit on the dry ideals of the school what could they do when faced with such a mass uprising in puddle jumpers to be sure none of us dared to ever send our persons hurdling over a body of water again we were all held in detention for three lunch periods every member of my grade with a member was forced into this where we were to novelize our newfound understanding and respect for obeying and staying dry sadly it was all for naught many of those punished went on to do many more terrible dirty deeds in sixth grade i got a referral for saying heck teacher didn't even hear it just got told on some kid jumped on my back and i said what the heck and he told the teacher freaking bulls but heck is just a place not a swear word third grade we were at the playground and this kid was trying to choke me a teacher told us to come down but we didn't eventually teachers came and took us to the principal's office amd the principal gave us a week without recess or lunch that's freaking child abuse so i sat next to this kid in computer class we were like 14 every day he would just call me gay constantly all semester it wasn't really a big deal for a while it just got freaking annoying hearing the same thing constantly every day all semester teacher did jack crap about it finally one day i said hey if you call me gay again i'm going to punch you in the face you're too gay to do it so i hit him once right in the middle of the forehead got some crazy good momentum built up from the pivoting desk chair completely quiet room then a loud smack no one freaking noticed anyway he went to the principal i admitted it cause i'm a bad liar it was pretty satisfying because it left this giant purple knot on his five head my parents had my back because i'd tried getting the teacher to stop him beforehand anyway this was right before the standardized testing and i was gonna be suspended during that i was one of like four kids that always had crazy good scores on it so they called our house and asked if i'd come take it yay sure i'll be there okay but since you're suspended you can't ride the bus then i won't be there finally they decided to send a freaking teacher to get me from my house turns out it was the computer's teacher weird ride i had to sit in a separate room and take my test so i didn't endanger the populace or some crap later in the semester they had some sort of field trip for people that did well on the test they said i couldn't go because i was suspended during the test so my parents took me out to school that day for a dentist's appointment it was a good day then there was a time i got jumped on by a kid because i had my elbow on his desk while he was flipping my desk over on top of me my elbow hit him so i got suspended my mom told the principal she was just going to start teaching me and my sister to beat the crap out of anyone who touches us if we're gonna get suspended anyway he freaked the frick out holy frick that school was terrible this is probably going to get really buried but why not my school's response to everything was to suspend you these are all personal experiences i went through my high school principal had a severe obsession with what i wore always would stop me in the hallway on the way to class to point out my clothes are too revealing tell me to lean forward for a cleavage test and would send me home for disrupting the school and after three strikes you were suspended for three days i never even wore revealing clothes unless you consider a button-up flannel tank top and jeans revealing i mean i was fourteen fifty-year-old men should not be concerned with the non-existent cleavage of a high school freshman if you were talking to school or to class more than three times a semester you were suspended for three days if it happened again you were suspended for five days and so on cause you know the best way to punish someone for being late and missing out on class is to cause them to miss three whole class days rather than only the few minutes they were late if you took too many sick days without a doctor's note you were suspended i mean you missed too many days how about we cause you to miss even more not everyone can afford 300 doctor visits to confirm you have a terrible cold if you miss too many total days of school suspension sick days terrorized included you were suspended i know this because i missed a total of 30 days of school thanks to being sick and previous suspensions and whenever i tried to come back to school they would suspended me for three then five then 10 days when i pointed out the stupidity of it all they just quoted we are a zero tolerance school and we do not support truancy of any kind before handing me another suspension slip at least i got to watch my dad call the head principal every name in the book the cleavage test sounds pervy as crap and not totally buried by the way he american friends high school had a star athlete that way overestimated his untouchability when he went after a very well-liked but non-popular guy but got them both suspended for two weeks for fighting even though the non-popular guy just took it mr star athlete got his career cut way short when hairline fractures nearly shattered his entire shin in training the doctors said it was impact stress from repeated long jumps but the rumors had it that it was helped along by a car load of non popular guys friends picking up mr star after he got blackout at a party and giving him a going over with a rubber hose pipe this thread needs more vengeance in it to satisfy the rage it generates what made the popular kid at school the unpopular kid when school started she was so popular she could hang out with anyone in any kind of friend group she was that beautiful social athletic blonde girl then she began hanging out with me the 16 years old handicapped girl walking slowly with a wooden cane like an old woman she instantly got unpopular but still decided to stick around and we made our own group of friends 10 years later she's a popular jeweler in my old town and still as beautiful funny and kind as ever so nice to see a positive story my partner likes to tell the story of how she became the unpopular kid at school she was about six stroke seven so primary two here in the uk and a trend kicked off in her class of eating dog biscuits all the kids were stealing dog biscuits from home and eating them at break time unfortunately she didn't have a dog and just had to eat normal human biscuits at school she was ostracized every break time for it peer pressure is weird sometimes a friend told me that in grade one or two there was this trend of collecting chess notes which are basically everywhere in the full where i live and trading them it became a real market and when the season passed chestnuts became rarer and thus more valuable some kids traded some of their parents jewelry and stuff for it so yeah only thing dumber than a six seven yo is a whole school of them one of the kids at our school lived with his grandma cause his parents died [ __ ] and a group of his mates started harassing the old lady whenever she came to pick him up principal was reported this and they ended up getting expelled altogether justice she made fun of a girl with cancer made a joke like why don't you ask your mom to buy your wig i can see your scalp and overnight she was the least liked person in school and 100 deserve it he recorded himself shoving carrots cucumbers and a bottle of hot sauce up his butt in the back of a van then someone found the video and shared it with the whole school the van makes this exponentially worse his girlfriend dumped him and moved away to her private school so he started sending videos of him jacking off to the other popular girls in school a popular guy in my year p himself during an exam in our gym hall unfortunately for him the biggest butthole in our year was sitting directly behind him he immediately stood up and yelled pp himself he proceeded to get teary-eyed and say it's my energy drink it spilled over and over before the exam supervisor literally dragged him out of the hall but two weeks later he returned to school the unpopular kid and kept a low profile for a while until it eventually died down and he climbed the social ranks once more that is until an episode of the in-betweeners a popular tv show in the uk aired in which one of the main characters shoots himself in the exam hall and it reminded everyone of what happened effectively nuking his popularity all over again the in-betweeners is surprisingly accurate of schooling in the uk specifically the main character's perception of the world i could relate to it a lot a guy at my school got drunk at a party got naked and inserted his penis into a jim bean bottle and ran around all crazy like with it attached but not having to use his hands at the time it was quite a laugh but it wasn't until a day or so later people thought about how small the opening was to a jim beam bottle that was basically the end of him and thus the legend of slim jim was born having a set of keys given to him by the school wtf i know because he was one of the really popular kids then using those keys to break into the school and steal 30 cord off woodworking metal working tools to be fair the school got what was coming by giving keys to a student there was one kid in my class who was the son of our maths teacher he was crazy popular because he was able to help everyone out with their homework for that class turns out he was actually snooping through his dad's notes to get the answers the teacher naturally got super suspicious after a while so he deliberately made a fake answer sheet of course the kid grabbed it and noted it all down it was full of wrong answers so blatant that anyone who even slightly paid attention in class would know they were way off base the kid handed out the answers anyway and in an instant made about half the class bomb and his popularity dropped like a rock as they all accused him of deliberately making them fail they moved him to another class and they never had an incident of cheating again people found out he was killing animals in super fricked up ways held a dog underwater until it drowned ran over a cat with a lawnmower use baseball bats and machetes dude was doing some serial killer level stuff now he's in the army oh boy do i feel protected there's three reasons people joined the army honor family thing or just want to make something of themselves they need the job and are basically guaranteed one or they want a license to kill my father a now retired vet told me that when we were talking about some of the men he had served with over the years it really put some things into perspective for me when everyone found out he was jerking off to science teacher she in the class along with his friends this was eighth grade his parents gave him money and bought him all this new expensive stuff and he rubbed it in everyone's faces and everyone kind of got sick of him he accidentally stabbed and blinded in one eye the nicest kid in the school by throwing a stick at him the kid that was blinded grew up to be super successful and is now married with a baby on the way i feel pretty bad for both kids if it was really an accident it probably haunts him every day especially if people treat it if like it was purposeful [Music] guy wasn't necessarily the popular kid but it wasn't a big school so everyone knew everyone i think between 9th and 10th grade he was found alone in his car behind the local arcade beating off he was called thumper from that day forward no idea what happened after graduation but he has to have some bad memories of those years he got into legal trouble because he and his team embezzled misused 250kg from the student union and the university kicked him out stopped paying the annual two mil to the student union withhold funds although that was later overruled by the courts and revoked the privileges granted to the student union earlier this year they stated that they and students are no affiliation to the student union after one year of negotiations his team was still running the student union because they were re-elected they bought votes by offering pancakes waffles and donuts for those who vote for their party and had street volunteers that would pressure students to vote for the party it actually led to a law being passed in ontario that prevented universities to force students to pay non-mandatory fees the scandal was revealed by a student party called the rhino party back in december 2018 january and february had started rolling and law and accounting firms started getting involved to figure out how much was spent it was rumored the figure was anywhere from 100k 900k ontario provincial law markers passed the law in the summer of 2018. starting fall 2019 i had the choice whether i wanted to pay axillary fees to support the student newspaper ngos that operated in the school support the student union etc that provincial law was recently overturned by the courts this year so starting next fall i am forced to pay fees associated with groups that i don't support he went from being popular to being a school meme there's actually a lot of bank statements available that showcase what they bought started straight up lying to teachers to get people in trouble don't know how he thought that was gonna work out when he was caught taking up skirt photos of girls in school and sending them to his friends his popularity went from hero to zero is a split second he fricked his friend's mom at a party let's call popular kid day and his friend bee bee's mom was arrested as she should have been and b faced tormund from basically everyone that knew what happened akira continued to brag about his actions eventually people gained sympathy for being put they lost his popularity real fast i stand by kid day as one of radiohead's best albums this guy at my table would play the no one likes me i'm the center of attention now card as in he would fake sadness for attention redirecting conversation and drawing the energy from a room like the kid who won't be friends with you anymore because you wore the same color shirt he was quite wealthy too and would rub it in your face i'm really curious as to how watercorrect gave you more instead of war he teased my best friend for being built like a mack truck she picked him up and put him upside down in the garbage can he lost any coolness he had power move rape he was at a graduation party that i had the misfortune to attend and his ex who was also there was asleep on the couch he took her upstairs to get her away from all the noise five minutes later we hear a scream and a get off of emmy she comes running downstairs frantically pulling up her pants and runs out she told us what happened after a few days the guy heard and tried to break into her house he's in prison for assault and battery he gave her a black eye while he was upstairs rape and breaking and entering she's in therapy and we are housemates now in college because she goes out with the girl i'm sharing the house with dang that really pisses me off how some people think it's fine to use sleep as an excuse of consent through a hockey stick hollow ended into the special needs kids eye socket he claimed it was accidentally only but was caught bragging about it on his snapchat story he then said his words not mine he doesn't have any hope though so what does it matter the kid needed surgery that his parents had to pay for as it was cosmetic the kid moved to her cheaper schools a week later he didn't exactly become unpopular but my high school star quarterback recorded a video of himself fingering his butt and he sent it to a girl in a neighboring school district the video got passed around there and made its way back into our school and he got socially vibe checked but he didn't really lose his popularity it was just sort of lessened and he actually became a way better person after the fact he still never learned that you can throw bullets when playing indoor football in gym class against non-football players though good crap the best way to respond to your town seeing a video of you fingering your butt become a better person not exactly popular more like the king of the buttholes but he had a project in mind bully the newcomer to get some fresh fame for his butt apostles the target a greek exchange student nice guy but quite a meaty boy 150 plus kilos and a wrestler i watched no freaking way i was getting in the middle of a [ __ ] slap tornado and my regret as of today is the lack of camera smartphones back then bully c got his jaw broken and lost five frontal teeth dislocated shoulder and three fractured ribs legally speaking he only defended himself and also played his defense on his weight blaming the bully of making him lose his balance and by doing so fell on him it's not entirely false bully c got back two months later still suffering from his injuries shunned by his previous peers stayed about two weeks and then never came back don't underestimate martial arts even a small person could take down a giant with it the extra weight definitely also added to the strength there was an asian girl who was well liked by everyone smart happy to help anyone struggling in class and was generally a nice person but her uncle scammed a lot of people in her community including parents of kids that went to our school she went from being well liked to being bullied still she dropped out of school frick that uncle he tried to coerce his then girlfriend both of them were 14 at the time to have sex when that didn't work and the girl told everyone he played the victim and threatened to kill himself which of course he didn't i stood up for the teacher with at the time terminal cancer when everyone was teasing bullying her cancer made her a bit more positive live life to fullest why and she was pretty childish actually great for elementary school children but my class was one degree away from feral at the time i was no longer popular she was super nice and buy some miracle beat the cancer respect man you must have given her a reason to live and i'm sure you helped her survive he punched the autistic kid then proceeded to get jumped by every single guy that saw him in school for the next week until his parents had him switch schools there's times bullying is acceptable this is one of those times super freaked up but this girl i went to grade school with was a victim of a house fire she was pretty and popular with all the kids in first and second grade after the fire she was left with a lot of scarred tissue in third grade all the kids turned on her and called her names wouldn't sit next to her or share things we needed in class i actually got to know her better that year as she was my class valentine she was the same person as before except broken apparently he freaked his cat and that's how rocky got the nickname sparkles for the rest of his junior and senior year there was a girl who was really popular and then she got pregnant and had an abortion and one of her crappy friends told other people and then everyone called her arrest and started rumors like saying she got the abortion because a dad could have been one of 10 different guys it was awful high school bullying in the 2000s was a mess jesus most of these replies i laugh at the jerks that lose their credibility but this is just horrific that girl was not a friend got really into astrology germini virgo cancer kept on hitting assaulting people with a metal bottle and was in general justin butthole that only like seven people tolerated i follow her on instagram and all her stories are memes about astrology it's the instagram equivalent of facebook minion memes just assaulted multiple people with a metal bottle i am such a gemini a mum got into an argument with a parish priest and forced her daughter to lie to the police about him molesting her when she was an altar girl all over some memorial that the mother didn't agree with the plan worked since the local archdiocese was forced to transfer him to another parish but it was quickly proven the girl was being forced to lie by the police the girl's reputation didn't take that much of a hit during school but her mum became a social pariah across multiple parishes since the priest was a patron to the local high school and a lot of people respected him the girl was seriously screwed however her parents wanted her to become a solicitor or barrister and i think they made her take lauren a level but since the mum made her lie to the police she is a documented liar which bars her from enrolling into a legal course in the uk when she made fun of me in front of everyone for wearing a yellow shirt to school it was just a plain yellow shirt and she somehow found a way to mock the color it was so unnecessary and made her look like someone who was just rude for no reason everyone quickly realized that she thought people were automatically on her side cause she was somewhat rich and she just became a joke after that maybe she had some childhood trauma involving lemons i went to an all-girls school and there was an all-boys school about five minutes walk away when i was in my final year the school vice captain of the boys school was dating one of our great leaders both being 17 and not very smart she eventually got pregnant she dropped out and pretty much everyone who knew him at our school hated him prior to that he was very well liked i thought it was a bit ridiculous honestly pretty sure it takes two to tango i mean she didn't get pregnant on her own a girl came out and said the popular kid raped her while she was unconscious after a night of heavy drinking they were close friends and after that all their friends and a lot of other people stopped talking to him police in the school got involved and everything was weird for a while that's not sex that's rape he sexually assaulted one of the most liked girls in the school and after legal action took place and he came back to school nobody spoke to him nobody acknowledged him he played soccer and so the school let him stay for some freaking reason if they wouldn't give him justice we all decided to ourselves i can't believe he his parents decided it was a good idea for him to return to the same school after that sort of incident i went to school from fourth grade to high school with a kid my age whose father was a prominent city official in our town even though we lived only a few blocks from one another we were in different worlds my background was much more blue-collar and unfortunately i lived in an alcoholic and physically violent household for these and other reasons i never understood his mother despised me and she wanted her son to have nothing to do with me she actually called my mother once to suggest that she keep me away from her son since our class in life was so very different i found him smart and funny and fascinating and we pulled around he wore slacks while i wore jeans and his suede shoes were much better than my sneakers by our high school years he was a football letterman while i was a band geek and he was in college prep while i took vocational courses we still knew each other but he was in a college track and i was living day by day as graduation approached we learned that his parents had worked with the local congressman for his appointment to west point rho tragically the night of graduation he and his girlfriend went out with him driving drunk on a country road he hit an oak tree and she was killed that's the last i ever heard of him but once in a while i google his name just to see if he might surface somewhere i sometimes think of how mortified his status conscious mother must have felt and wonderful about his girlfriend's family and of course what happened to my friend who killed someone just before his life began i wish him well over 40 years later i'm just not sure what happens when life seems to be laid out before you with concrete expectations and it all goes so tragically wrong in the blink of an eye to be fair you have to have a recommendation from a congressman to even get into west point i hated this kid but apparently the rest of the school loved him he was freshman class president and legit looked and acted like a politician even at 18 this is college then he got drunk and ran over two girls walking back from a party and twice the cake he stopped and called the cops himself but then started fighting the emts when they arrived somehow he only did two years and came back to school his family had a lot of money but we all knew by then how it went down he was not well received when he returned to campus i don't think he has a future in politics finkley even ended up transferring schools because even the professors hated him when he came back reverse story unpopular kid computer nerd kind but dang he was good at programming but never had a date and was an outcast end of his senior year the class gives out awards most likely to succeed like that he wins the most likely to die a virgin award he goes up grabs the mic and says he would like to thank all the girls that made this possible instant legend virginity is cool i was relatively popular i was in jv basketball marching band mathletes and track and pretty much made friends with everyone until my best friend at the time claimed i pushed her down the stairs and caused her to have surgery on both legs thing is i was at my grandmother's funeral in another state the entire week she claimed it happened but while the teachers kept us apart and understood my side none of the others really believed me except the anime club they believed me goweebs only the anime club believes in top 10 anime betrayals in real life she first got her s reputation and then got terrible acne went from cute cheerleader girl to pariah i felt sorry for her stopped coming to school didn't even do her exams in the end just sat at home and smoked weed all the time didn't even work she just got boyfriends who would pay for everything for her became spiritual got the hindu symbol oh m tattooed on her finger got dreadlocks etc posted weird photos on her instagram it's hard to explain but she just sort of became weird i once heard her talking to a bunch of 13 year olds about how her boyfriend just got out of prison question mark she also always spoke about wanting to have a baby this weed smoking non-working 18 year old girl wanted a child in the end nobody in my school even spoke to her anymore even her friends didn't like her much because she was sort of a bee she was popular because she was super pretty and smart it's sad she obviously has no direction in her life her only qualifications are the exams we did when we were 15. her brother and sister were still in the school they were really nice and basically the opposites to her i hope they do well he walked into the bathroom and realized someone was whacking it in the stalls dumbass gets the brilliant idea to record it because he thought it was funny he's under house arrest now and has cp distro charges frick him she was popular then she found jesus almost instantly unpopular then she became immensely popular again when she was diagnosed with non-hodgkin's lymphoma high school is a bee why did jesus make her unpopular mayo did your high school ever have an incident or event what was it my high school had some kind of scandal with a music teacher and an underage boy the school's reputation was so trashed that they had to change the name of the school to keep people from making the association johnson sucked dyker jr hi a student at my high school shot himself in the chest at lunchtime in front of his ex-girlfriend because she had broken up with him he did not survive man shooting yourself in the chest is a bad way to go if you don't get it exactly right it'll take a while to bleed out and in that time they'll probably realize that and the grand scheme of things being dumped is kind of insignificant i used to live in the united states virgin islands on a smallish island called saint thomas and back in my freshman year school was called off early within the first few periods of the day and we weren't allowed to leave the buildings we were in until our parents came to pick us up no one was really sure what was happening until swat teams pulled up to the school and started filing out all along the street and that's when word reached us that a bengal tiger had escaped within the island which was a surprise considering how the nearest zoo cater to aquatic animals once my dad came to pick me up i was escorted out of the school's gates with two swat members covering both sides and as we left learned that most of the main town had been occupied by swat teams which i wasn't even aware we had on the island up until that point with roadblocks set up here and there all ready to stop themselves a tiger the next day however we learned that there was not an escaped tiger on the island but that there was instead a lost bengal cat that had been named tiger by its owner that was misprinted in the newspaper as being an actual tiger that raised a gigantic freaking panic across the whole island tl dr parton island was shut down by a fricking house cat holy crap i think you win the thread my school was having a spirit week and one of the days was superheroes and super villains like marvel or dc someone came dressed in a full kkk outfit because she wanted to be a villain bunch of local news stations reported the story and everyone in our area knew about it my school had a spirit week and one of the days was heritage day some african american kids thought it would be funny to dress up as slaves we didn't have heritage day the next year one kid dressed up as the easter bunny and was throwing candy off of the senior balcony during a lunch period i remember everyone being really excited until there was a fight over a specific candy bar i've never been more excited to see teachers run after someone in a bunny suit in my entire life that's some logic right there people are fighting over a candy bar better chase the person who gave it to them a friend of mine and his girlfriend killed themselves within two days of each other after their breakup it was horrible rem had just released everybody hurts and they played it at the girls funeral to a group of high schoolers attending their second funeral of a fellow student in less than a week it was rough oh god something similar happened in my city fairly recently it's just horrible the speech and debate club was suspended for two years after it was revealed that the officers were embezzling club funds i went to a very boring high school of course the speech and debate team is responsible for the white collar crime adult family members of an expelled student came to the school and in the middle of class proceeded to beat up the teacher who was the reason he was expelled in the janitor who came to see what all the commotion was teacher had a bloody nose janitor had to be taken out on a stretcher with several broken ribs my college suspended some students for eating breakfast during a lecture one of the student decided to upload the hilarious suspension letter in fb which meech and suspended for eating or something like that pic went viral local media caught it national media caught it college's day of shame my high school has a section on its wikipedia article about the strange incidents that have happened there the most famous one it was before my time that my older sister was there was the streaker he greased himself up and ran through the cafeteria and the police couldn't catch him so they used a taser my sister had gone into the separate side room where you buy food so she didn't see any of it just a bunch of shocked horrified faces when she came back the football team sexually assaulted a mentally challenged girl this was before i attended said high school they made a lifetime movie out of it it stars the weird girl from the breakfast club now that's fricked up back in hs a few grades above me there were about five people who had some kind of orgy and they all ended up getting herpes well people found out as they usually do and from that point on everyone in the area who heard my school's name instantly thought we all had herpes funny enough when on vacation in colorado a group i met at the same hotel from texas had heard about my school's infamy somehow and thought it was hilarious this was about three years after the incident and my school was in wisconsin an assistant principal was arrested for killing his wife and trying to make it look like a suicide they made a dateline or 48 hours mystery about it i can't remember he was a petty nice guy but not to her i guess he was a petty nice guy but not to her i guess understatement of the year the cool guy spanish teacher had a long-term relationships with multiple students even paying for a few abortions that was like 10 years ago and i had forgotten about it until a guy i knew from high school posted some news footage of the teacher shaking hands with geraldo rivera about two months ago not sure how he's not still in prison yeah geraldo is a scumbag and should be in prison it was fifth grade and recess after lunch had been cancelled because some parents complained about kids not having enough time to eat even though you could be dismissed at any time by a teacher and could take as long as you wanted to eat everyone was upset so this kid named luke and a few of his friends decided to do something about it within minutes everybody in the cafeteria was out of their mind screaming we want reese's swearing throwing food at the lunch staff and several people made a break for it and tried to run out of the lunch room luke and a few others were suspended that day and luckily their sacrifice meant that recess was reinstated for the rest of us but we now simply refer to the incident as the lunchroom riot those few parents that wanted recess cancelled were terrible it never actually happened but there was a rumor that there was going to be a shooting in my high school because somebody wrote on a bathroom stall in the department store next to the school that it was going to happen the best part of the day was seeing all the football team coaches standing around with baseball bats and snail boards senior class took fertilizer and other chemical agents to burn a giant dong into the football field it could be seen on google maps for quite some time i hear that you can do two different dongs in two different locations using different chemicals one kills the grass now one kicks in when the new term starts but i can't remember what you were supposed to use during my sophomore year the student body orchestrated a walkout because most of our electives were being cut to save money teachers who were losing their jobs also walked out with us classes like auto shop woodshop photography home economics all gone the walkout did help as a fewer reinstated the following year while others were after my class graduated this girl posted on a transgender youtube channel saying how she was going to blow up her high school and kill a lot of people she described how she could do it and because she was a student teacher she knew how to get away with it and kill the most people the people on the channel notified police that tracked it down to my high school and we had a huge lockdown because they had to check for any explosives we had a pr file pay teacher who left the year before i arrived his replacement found this out and instead of reporting this to the police and the school authorities he wrote letters to all the parents of the children he thought were involved then went public to the newspapers he got fired and eventually six years later the people got the imprisoned for 12 years we had won in elementary school he didn't sexually assault anyone during his time at the school but he assaulted a 10 year old boy at his previous job he was a lifeguard at a water park at the school a lot of boys would sit up close to him while the girls were spread out in the gym he was arrested when i was in my last year of elementary school i was in my junior year and it was finals week everyone usually gets to school about 20 minutes before class starts and we just walk around the place talking with friends then all of the teachers started ushering us all toward the road and away from the school there was an active bomb threat my high school was kind of a magnet school in a decent area so we had no idea what was going on it turns out some freshmen got scared and called in a bomb threat to get out of finals on his own cell phone we had fun though one of my classmates was a dj on the weekends his pickup truck was a sort of convertible instant party and he stood there killing it for over an hour my high school used to allow every other year for the foreign lagoonage classes to go to that respective country over spring break the school decided that the funds weren't there for it anymore but still allowed people to go if they paid for it themselves and parents went with them anyways the german class went to germany and of course high school-aged kids will drink over there but while the school caught wind and suspended all of them and kicked them out of national honor society the uproar was insane the school no longer sanctioned the trip nor paid so they didn't have a right to do that since also it wasn't during school time one of the parents of the students is very rich they threatened the school by not giving their annual donation sure enough all students were reinstated one kid died in my gym class we were doing a swimming lesson so everyone was in the pool doing some laps learning how to do the different strokes how after some laps the gym teacher has us get out of the pool a minute or so goes by and someone shouts out there is someone at the bottom of the pool i don't know if the gym teacher froze up or what but it was a few seconds before a student finally dove in to drag him out of the pool the teacher finally snaps out of it and tries to start cpr and yells for someone to grab the defibrillator from the hallway he tries to revive the kid but it was too late unfortunately the kid was taking some meds not sure what he was taking maybe something for add or depression but the autopsy came back showing he had overdosed on whatever he was taking so it was a suicide attempt the kid overdosed before gym class knowing that we were swimming in the pool it was a really sad day to say the least couple of fights someone had jesus figurines all over the place bomb threat nothing too much someone did take a brick of potassium and dropped it in a toilet during summer school it destroyed the toilet needless to say my school doesn't buy potassium anymore back in middle school a deer got spooked by one of the school buses and jumped through a classroom window and started wandering the halls my class then constructed a plan for if that ever happened again it did not my high school staged a very very convincing active shooter drill they didn't even warn the teachers the principal just got on the loudspeaker and announced that there was an active shooter on the west wing of the third floor and that we were all to begin full lockdown procedure i was in a classroom on third floor west we all freaked out the teacher initiated lockdown procedure shut off the lights locked the door and heard us all in front of the whiteboard where we mostly couldn't be seen from the floor-length window to the right of the classroom door we could hear people running and screaming in the hallways for around 10 minutes before it got quiet then the shooter paid us a visit banging on the door trying to get in and yelling let me in let me in we could see him through the window he was dressed head to toe in black he had his gun out and was literally throwing himself against the door we all thought we were going to freaking die people were freaking out the teacher was crying while this was going down the classroom phone rang the teacher answered after a very brief conversation she hung up got up and went to open the door everyone lost it and started yelling at her she was letting the shooter in in comes the shooter away goes the gun off comes the black hoodie oh hello officer turned out that the phone call was from the principal informing her that it was just a drill the police had been asked to select a few classrooms to test and we were one of the lucky ones the drill had been designed to test police response time and how well lockdown procedure was followed people were livid i mean come on there has to be a better way to test that crap than letting an entire school think that there's an active shooter on the loose i was never particularly afraid of stuff like that before but now having experienced it i still have nightmares from time to time a fight broke out in the middle of the hallway while we were switching classes everyone crowded around to watch the school cop burst in about a minute later and tased one of the guys fighting he hit the floor and a bunch of kids started screaming that he had heart problems and to stop a kid next to me exclaimed oh crap they are teasing people and he took off down the hallway running at full speed he hit a corner and slid falling flat on his face and a gallon of milk fell out of his backpack and splattered all over the floor to this day i don't know why that kid had a gallon of milk at school a guy decided to hang himself in the graveyard next to the school in full view of all the students this being a religious school they took it extremely seriously doing mandatory class therapy sessions and crap when half the school didn't even see the body i mean just because they didn't see the body does not mean much sounds like your school was on top of it we had race riot black kids still love yet kids football because they would not cede the field to the black kids at lunch buncher asian kids weaponized their belts and beat the frick out of a bunch of black kids asian kids mobbed up and outnumbered the group of black kids like two or three to one there was probably at least 20 skirmishes spread across the yard where some black kid on the ground was getting the crap beat out of them by at least two asian kids also this other time some kid laced a bunch of food with lsd in the cafeteria our high school stopped having dances because one girl gave a guy head during an event and got caught turns out it was my sister's best friend at the time i liked to think my sister was much classier than that she wasn't people slashed all the tires of all the school systems buses and school got cancelled for a few days it made international news still years later no one knows who did it that's a lot more effective than all these bomb threats on here but you do have to go outside from a few i guess dead pig left in a tesco bag in the sports field it was break time various teams ran out to play football and there it was a dead pig in a bag a guy in my ear fell out of his bedroom window trying to smoke sneakily a graffiti tribute was made on one of the school buildings and promptly removed as it was vandalism a girl in the year below mine had an affair with a school bus driver resulting in several abortions and a certain pedophile bus driver being suspended changing rooms were set on fire i was awful on the day returned to school the following day to find everyone had detention until somebody owned up i feel it was rather unfair that i was detained when i was off sick lab set on fire and copper wire stolen but we knew who did it and they got suspended two teachers had nervous breakdowns and went stark raving looney in front of students before quitting the teaching profession this past year a kid was killed by being stabbed by another student i can't remember all the details but i'm pretty sure it was over a girl and the stabber was intoxicated too some idiot brought a big tub full of mercury to school once spilled it of course we had a big hazmat team come to the school and screen all the kids with their gadgets to make sure we weren't gonna develop superpowers or something we had a presentation about tolerance which was stupid as my school was super laid back people had issues but not about race or gender in our auditorium this was in 2009 just after obama's election at one point the group is one stage and making small talk with us guy on stage we got a new president president obama man how do you guys feel about that awesome stupid pandering crap guy in crowd stands and shouts we don't need a freaking n in the white house holy crap dude i was in the upper bowl next to some of the black latino kids this guy says his piece and everybody next to me is on him like 35 feet between us and a flight of stairs this kid gets the crap beat out of him teachers finally managed to pull everybody off kid has to be taken to the hospital luckily nearby afterwards we all realized we had no idea who the kid was turns out he was with the group and was supposed to say that as a thought-provoking kind of thing about how offensive and hurtful racism is they didn't tell any of the staff about this the presentation went on fine but nobody was paying attention anymore we were all furious that kid is probably never volunteering for a presentation again my classmates in high school set himself on fire at the entrance before school when i got there there was just a wet spot on the concrete where they'd cleaned up his body he left a note explaining why he did it bullied to suicide classmates in junior high died from meningitis no one died during elementary school that i know of classmate slapped his girlfriend for going to a dance with someone else a couple of days later she was not in school during math her mom comes in and says to my classmate you took a piece of my heart and now i'm going to take a piece of yours and then she pulls out a crocodile dundee-sized bowie knife tells everyone to leave and starts chasing him around the room with it while he and the teacher threw desks at her she went to prison oh and some kids were playing with bits of sodium or potassium in chemistry class by throwing it in the sink and watching it fizzle it's normally stored under oil because it reacts in air and violently with water one kid pocketed it and they took it to the locker room to throw bigger bits in the toilet they heard someone coming panicked and threw the whole thing in and flushed it blew the toilet into pieces my sophomore year we got a new sociology teacher who had freshly graduated from college dude was about six feet four and played college basketball he ended up being a coach of a bunch of teams and for the most part got along well with everyone this was a small town about 2 500 people you end up seeing each other all the time same goes for teachers word got around that he was a bit of a partier even rumors of smoking weed were senior athletes etc at the end of the year one of my buddies who had been dating a girl for about three years found out this teacher was having sex with her now she was 18 but was still a senior in high school my friend told the principal right away and an investigation was held called students and teachers in for questioning but in the end nothing was done school makes sure to keep it as hush-hush as possible in a small town turns out that the girlfriend denied it all and was believable enough for administration didn't want the press my friend was enraged by this and made a comment to the teacher about being a pedo and deserving an asshooping which the teacher responded i'm a lover not a fighter fast forward two hours teacher pulls into the baseball field to coach the team my buddy comes up and clocks him right in the face cutting open his lip and knocking him over teacher gets in the car and leaves immediately whole town hears about the fight and learns of the teacher student affair half the town wants the teacher fired while the others want to discipline the student becomes a cluster [ __ ] for the administration they end up moving him from the senior high wing to teaching the middle school kids i suppose they thought that would temper any urges idk either way to this day if an older gentleman is a creeper they refer to him as a name of past teacher comma about being a pedo if he was fresh out of college he was probably 22. four years isn't that big of an age gap it's still an abuse of power but a pr file he is not sex said teachers over it what is the craziest misconception you have cleared up when my kids were in grammar school a teacher came around and talked to them about their private places for the next week or so my daughters kept saying that they got hit in their privates they were in first and second grade i think so rough housing was common and i figured since it was a new phrase they were using it as much as possible then one day the youngest came in and said her sister wouldn't quit touching her in her privates i was starting to freak out i asked her to show me where her sister was touching she pointed to her arm i was flabbergasted and said how is that your privates she then informed me that the teacher who talked to them about bad touching said that a place that made you feel uncomfortable was your privates and that her sister touching her arm was making her uncomfortable after that i got out my anatomy and physiology book from school and we had a much longer discussion about such things that's why i was taught that your privates were any part of your body that were covered by a bathing suit the modern type not full body victorian swimwear i remember being in grade 5 or 6 having the first sex ed class of our young and budding 10 year old lives having the wonders of life explained to us we got to the point of explaining how babies were made and one of my classmates got hung up on a point he raised his hand and asked the teacher a sperm hot we all blankly stared at the teacher waiting an answer she replied with an awkward broken answer well it's not boiling or anything like that before she could continue the classmate restated the question but is it like hot like temperature hot the teacher still confused tried her best well no it's not like tea or coffee haven't you felt it before now with us being 10 i don't know what she was thinking but some of us laughed some were grossed out but that classmate was almost angry no i haven't but is it hot he ended up explaining to us that it would only be as hot as your body is it turns out the kid was just worried about hurting future partners with his boiling hot sea men boiling hot sea men dibs on band name taught human growth and development aka sex ed to fifth and sixth grade boys in our schools you have to had a co-teacher with you which happened to be my best friend as well mistake the boys are encouraged to write out questions on nautica and turn them in which makes them try to prank us and see if we will read it out loud best ever what would happen if a man had sex with a sheep to which my buddy replied well that would be broad you always keep the good naughty kids i'm gonna throw this out there they need to teach girls that urine doesn't come from the same hole that the penis goes in i have dated three girls who were 20 plus at the time who never knew this they actually went into the bathroom to see if i was lying to them i'm curious how they thought the whole tampon thing worked i'm not a sex ed teacher but when i was in fourth grade i thought men could only have two kids because they only had two testicles it made sense because every man i knew had two kids except my buddy greg had two siblings once i reached my revelation i reasoned that greg's mom must have cheated on his dad in order to have a third kid i would have assumed greg's dad had three testicles taught an inner city classroom in boston these kids asked the best questions doesn't anal cause cancer i'd ask what can hiv led to does it lead to blue waffle i don't want to get that will plan b work faster if you snort it good times my sex ed teacher in high school told us stories about a female student she had a long time ago the student got pregnant and was freaking out to our teacher not knowing what happened because she had apparently been taking birth control my teacher was asking her typical questions about her situation how long she was taking them etc then later the girl mentioned she had been taking her birth control pills vaginally she figured that since the baby comes from there that's where you take the pill as a pharmacist this is exactly why we put take one tablet by mouth daily or take one teaspoonful by mouth i had a mother pour an oral antibiotic suspension in her kid's ear for an earache once i was a peace corps volunteer in a certain small sub-saharan african country where sex education was practically non-existent talking about sex openly was a bit taboo and misconceptions were everywhere as the sole outsider in my village i was assumed to be the local expert on everything from computers to physics to world politics to calculus to yes sex there were so many myths but one sticks in my mind because it was so bizarre so prevalent and i've never heard it anywhere else semen is the only source of vitamin k so girls must begin having sex at an early age to get proper nutrition this was startling for a whole tangled mass of reasons the cultural initiation rights that perpetuated the myth and coerced twelve year old girls to have sex with men twice their age the inverse relationship between prevalence of aids and the degree of knowledge about preventing it the enormous cultural pressure to marry young and have lots of babies and the lack of knowledge about nutrition in general parents commonly ate balanced meals while their kids were given only a type of corn mash believing that this was the only thing necessary to help them grow strong basically my students were already stunted from malnutrition facing a lot of pressure to have sex and laboring under mountains of misinformation about it but then there was this additional myth telling them they needed to start having sex without condoms as soon as possible so their bodies would develop normally i held sex ed talks at my school to combat this taught them how to put on a condom correctly and gave some additional talks about nutrition for good measure oh man the discussions we had i'm no sex ed teacher but i went to a very sheltered private school that did not teach basic sex education it only went as far as covering puberty so parents had to fill in the rest and my mom fricked it up pretty badly she started by describing the male genitalia penis first then balls but she never said the word penis again only it i t gets hard so i t can go inside the vagina and the whole time having never seen what an adult penis looks like i assume she's means the balls go into the vagina and since i'd only seen a baby penis from daycare where the balls actually are bigger than the penis it made sense i thought this for several years until a friend cleared that misconception up i also was unaware of thrusting i thought you just put it in a waited a bit in eighth grade one of my classmates was fully convinced both his parents were virgins we tried to explain how that was impossible but he wouldn't believe us i'm not a health ed teacher but back in eighth grade i saw a girl crying in the ladies room i walked over and asked her what was wrong and she told me that she was bleeding down there and she legitimately thought that she had internal damage and was dying i had a friend that this happened too she hid the bloody underwear for months and was convinced she dropped dead at any time fortunately i was in girl scouts and they were pretty good about letting all of us know what to expect my sister is a sex ed teacher apparently a belief that more than a few students have is that yellow skittles can act as birth control i'm a developmental support worker at a treatment home for dual diagnosed teenage boys as my co-workers and i basically raise these kids we regularly field sex questions when i was pregnant these were my two favorites so when the baby's big enough you'll just poop it out right is it a puppy english teacher here okay not sex ed but you'd be surprised about the bloated statements during the romeo and juliet unit so i had one girl who honestly believed that she couldn't get pregnant if she didn't have an orgasm had one boy who thought humans basically stopped growing pubic hair in the 1980s believed you could get aids by being gay not having unprotected intercourse but just homosexual had one boy who thought humans basically stopped growing pubic hair in the 1980s that is freaking hilarious my sex ed teacher only misinformed my health class further told us that you have a 90 chance of getting an std if you have premarital sex women can't have orgasms so it's not worth having sex if you're a girl p causes men to be abusive ugh she started the class out by asking raise your hand if you think people who have sex before marriage are going to heck i went to a public school in alabama obviously that i as a 25 year old female sex ed teacher would consider going to prom with you or b share my personal sexual history with you that men can't get stds that blue waffle is a real common std that you can't get pregnant if you do shafterwood that you can't get pregnant if you drink a lot of mountain dew that if you take all the birth controls pills depot implanon etc at once not that any doctor would give them to your uber protected from pregnancy oh and a really common one that two condoms are better than one and on and on and on mostly i spend a lot of time answering really basic but highly personal and potentially embarrassing questions from my anonymous question box that you can't get pregnant if you drink a lot of mountain dew gamer secrets my friend goes around to high schools to give talks and answer questions about sex as a teacher to 16 year olds a girl began to cry once and told the teacher and the whole class that she was a hermaphrodite after calming her down and explaining it all she agreed to answer more questions for those curious turns out she was just talking about her clitoris and thought it was a penis needles to say my friend handled it so well but the girl probably had to change schools i honestly don't blame her for changing schools like most not a teacher or whatever but i know of a girl who didn't know where babies came from this was a friend of mine's cousin who was pregnant but her mum had always had c-sections with her kids so when she was told about the natural method of birthing a child she freaked well it comes out the same way it went in you've got to be joking how can a woman get to a stage in her life where she's pregnant and doesn't know before c-sections we just kind of popped out they even made a dramatic documentary called alien kinda related when i was little i thought that maxipads were meant so that women could pee themselves whenever they wanted my dad and i were watching a commercial and i went on a tangent about how gross that was he looked at me funny and said it was time that we had a little talk maybe not exactly a misconception but a girl asked me is it true that when the man comes he pees in you as well took all i had not to say something like only if you ask him to probably wouldn't have gone over very well i teach sex ed to individuals with intellectual disabilities so i get to clear up loads of crazy misconceptions during my most recent one i had to explain to a guy of relatively normal intelligence that girls do not have penises i watched his entire mind just explode to that new information i'm pretty sure i changed his life i had to explain to a guy of relatively normal intelligence that girls do not have penises i blame 4chan i know a girl in her 20s that honestly believed that males have an extra bone in their penis she tried to defend herself by claiming that if a penis didn't have a bone why would it be called a boner when the guy was aroused dogs literally have a bone in their penis by far the biggest and worst misunderstanding in sex ed is the thought that not teaching kids about sex makes it less likely they will get pregnant not a sex ed teacher but during the talk at our school one guy asked if one testicle produced girl babies and the other produced boy babies looking back it wasn't such a dumb question from the mind of a 10 year old but though how we laughed not a sex ed teacher but i am a registered nurse i was conducting a pre-op interview on a teenager who was going to have surgery she was there with her mother probably in her late 30s early 40s and i was asking basic health related questions past medical history surgical history allergies etc at the end of the interview the teen looking kind of embarrassed asked me how many holes do we have down there i answered women have three just then the teen looks at her mom and exclaims see mom i told you and the mom looks confused and asks are you sure it's three i tell her yes women have three vagina urethra anus and men have two the mother goes men have two i was shocked long story short i had to draw them a picture of female and male anatomy to drive the point home they thought that women urinate from their vaginas colon i can see how the teen could be confused but the mom was too not a sex ed teacher but in college i dated a 21 year old muslim girl who believed that sperm could rapidly swim up off the bed sheets over her leg and down her vagina and threw her cervix on their own like hungry sentient parasites imagine if that crap was real and you had to swat and slap the sperm to death off their faces and chests before the little bastards reached their target it sounds like the symbiote from spider-man one of the standards that we have to teach in our state kentucky is that men produce sperm for the entirety of the life whereas women has a finite number of eggs generally this gets into pms menopause and a few similar subjects for contextual purposes i'll try to outline the classroom this is a 7th grade classroom 13 year olds 50 are beneath the poverty line 50 percent caucasian and 20 hispanic rest are various other races 100 male as i was working with the males and another teacher was working with females so this particular child is a plump little boy really contemplative two you can see him looking down to the ground pondering and really working out something in his head every time he responds so after i explain how older men can have babies but older women cannot he asks so you're telling me an old wrinkly man can have a baby to which i affirm yes so the kid is just staring down thinking for a while after about a minute he looks back up and asks so if an old wrinkly man has a baby does that mean the baby has wrinkles i honestly about lost it we then had a conversation about how people being shot do not produce bullet resistant babies also every class for some reason responded with my question of what's the one way to not have a baby in the same dang way i wear three condoms like what the heck comma people being shot do not produce bullet resistant babies i bet comic books are to blame for this we were taught sex ed by our religious teachers and in this case our middle-aged jesus loving teacher it was always going to be an awkward affair in a mixed sex school boisterous lads showing off to the girls girls giggling etc the lesson was moving along as planned but it was getting a bit boring questions were being fired but nothing we didn't already know then the teacher had a brainwave giving everyone a small piece of paper and asking us to write an anonymous question if we wanted to know something but we're too afraid to ask within seconds half the class is scribbling away the papers go into a box and are picked out one by one what is a vibrator quite a tame one and the teacher was able to reel off a vicar-friendly answer but it got progressively uglier what's a bj what's up what's prostate massaging what's felching it's worth noting that this was around 1994 so the internet was not an option the teacher was backed into a corner armed only with a book and a very basic knowledge of sex as a reproductive tool lots of stuttering ensued watching a middle-aged woman explain to a class the finer points of manual stimulation or fingering as it was originally defined still makes me raise a smile oh how much i wish we had an anonymous questions box i'm a teacher but not a sex ed teacher my state is abstinence only education and so most of the sex ed is limited at best this may explain a ninth grade class i had three years ago with four mothers in it anyway one of my students was convinced that if you jumped up and down after you had sex you wouldn't get pregnant without using any words that make me blush i told her unequivocally that she was wrong and not to try that at home then another student raised her hand and essentially asked about the pull-out method she didn't know the terminology and i told her again that was not a real reliable method especially with teenage boys then a third student asked about having sex when you are not ovulating she actually asked what about having sex during some parts of the month and not others i explained that teenage girls may or may not have a real reliable menstrual cycle and being even a day off of the rhythm method could result in pregnancy finally after towing the company line the only foolproof method is abstinence and in the absence of abstinence take care of yourself a girl in my class size and said well i will just keep doing sit-ups after sex i kid you not and some of these girls were ap college preparatory students best one i heard was from the nurse at our school who was explaining all of the disease you can get from vaginal oral and anal sex a girl in the class raised her hand and said so that's where crack babies come from the nurse asked her what and the girl said crack babies you know from anal sex love abstinence only education in an overly religious state teaching girls to hate their bodies and be ignorant at the same time the crack baby line is a classic the most disconcerting thing i had heard while teaching sexual education was the notion that stds are like a game of tag i was asked numerous time if one had aids and gave it to another person does that mean they are cured tag you got herpes anyone care to take this hiv off of me i used to go to a really religious school the girls there believe that no one actually enjoys sex it's just the media telling you you do boy have i been fooled not a sexy teacher but i did go to a pretty conservative college a girl in my school became upset when she found out one of her suite mates was having sex in their shower she warned her roommate one night before she went in the bathroom girl i just thought you should know that kelsey has been having sex in there so you should probably wear some sandals when you shower roommate yeah it's a little gross but i'm not that worried it'll be all right girl whispering yeah but you don't want to get like pregnant or anything everyone knows crocs are the only 100 effective means of birth control i'm not a sex ed teacher but my friend once had a chinese exchange for uni and she had to look after him in the first month it was discovered that he knew nothing about sex or how babies were made 19 years old my friend taught him all of this during his exchange anyone who doesn't know china's culture is that sex and relationships come after education and the establishment of your career the schools don't teach it and there are stories of kids going out and parents moving them over provinces to stop them dating so they can focus on school work the population numbers would seem to suggest this strategy is hit or miss at best don't any of these hyper religious folks grow up on farms i ask because you know it's hard to be so misinformed about sex when you're breeding animals my grandfather ran cattle and it blew my mind how little some of my classmates knew when we got to that point my only problem was i didn't understand that there were multiple positions the horses cows and cattle dogs all did it the same way after all my girlfriend is a pharmacist and has told me some good ones she had a girl complain that her birth control kept falling out and found out she had been sticking the pills in her vagina also she had several that ran out of pills early and needed to be told that only she takes them not her and her boyfriend and of course she's had a few girls get pregnant and find out that you are supposed to take the pills every day not just when you have sex not a sex ed teacher but for the longest time i assumed that women had penises i thought that having sex with sword fighting with a woman and a guy i would also look at old artworks of naked penises and get aroused cause in my mind it was looking at naked women i just assumed that when a person didn't have a penis drawn on them the artist was just censoring himself boy was i embarrassed when everything was cleared up i ended up realizing i was bisexual later in my life so this sort of makes sense looking back i am so glad you wrote that last sentence i was like oh this guy is in for a big surprise i was a peace corps volunteer in togo 2009 to 2011 and taught sex ed one time we had a q and a session with the junior and senior high kids and the best question i got was from a 15 year old boy if you have sex with a girl on her period will you become a hunchback a common question from males is wearing two condoms better than one this requires a science lesson in which we discuss friction and the consequences of rubbing two condoms together will eventually cause them to rupture another common question includes the use plastic wrap as a condom this is about the time i start handing out free condoms what's the most too far you've ever seen a high school prank go kid decided to post on facebook that he was going to shoot up the school then not show up the next day but the lockdown lasted six hours past the final bell until they found this kid dumbass so the senior class two years ahead of me fought the lawn in front of the school a classic right well they took it a bit further instead of buying plastic forks in bulk the seniors for their whole school year methodically pocketed the metal silverware from lunch and breakfast not every piece every time but just enough that the lunch staff would think it was accidental loss we have a small class size so kids would bust their own trays by dumping the scraps into big trash cans and sometimes people would forget to take their silverware off first and they'd get lost we had regular announcements at lunch reminding us to make sure we didn't throw away the utensils so in this massive conspiracy that only they knew about they collected hundreds of metal utensils the night before their last day of classes they snuck into the school grounds and methodically stuck hundreds of forks knives and spoons into the grass a foot apart each to make it worse one of the two custodians had recently been fired and the remaining custardian was an older guy who was perfectly kind and in an ideal world should have retired sooner he had to pick them all up by himself i heard one of the teachers came in early and helped him a little bit and saw the custodian had tears falling down his cheeks that hits me in the sad feels hard they should have made the kids in detention clean it up or something don't make the poor old man do it a group of kids staged a kidnapping one time they borrowed a van and drove in front of a busy shopping center one guy pretending to escape jumped out the trunk all wrapped up in duct tape to the horror of all the bystanders the van stopped two kids ran out and recaptured the escapee and drove off cops had to go to their homes when the van was identified and they had a lot of clearing up to do it's just a prank bro had a mate in a neck brace for a year because him and another maid would frequently push each other into things like walls railings etc as a joke the other mate decided to one-up him by pushing him down a flight of stairs when i was a freshman there was a tree that was planted when the school was founded the seniors destroyed it everyone was freaking pee something similar happened at my school except the tree was a baby tree planted in memorial of a teacher that had been killed in a car accident on a few occasions it was vandalized pretty heavily by whoever trying to pull it out of the ground with a truck another time it was basically split right down the middle i think the school just pulled it up eventually not seen but the senior class before i was a freshman had dumped whole buckets of crickets into all of the school's garbage cans fast forward a fight broke out at lunch and a student was knocked into one of the garbage cans and thousands of crickets spilled out onto the concourse causing a massive riot i'm talking mobs of kids leaving the school the school was infested with crickets for years i think you and i go to the same school at my high school when i was a freshman a group of seniors had broken into the school the night before with hundreds of bottles of lube to grease up all the staircases in the school like 15 kids went to the hospital one kid cracked his head open and had to be rushed to the air when i was a sophomore a group did the same thing at my school but they also greased their handrails handicap ramp and a wooden memorial bench the bench was ruined and i don't know what they used but after it was cleaned it would come back every time it rained dude in my school had a crummy old car that the lock was broken and could easily be put in neutral and pushed around the steering still locked so mostly kids would push it into a parking space ahead or behind of it one day they pushed it and it got away from them and it damaged the teacher's car the kids owned up to it but considering the owner was so sick of his car being messed with he called the police turns out moving a car a few meters is considered vehicle theft around here and three kids were charged and expelled will mayo get freaked someone let a greased pig loosen the school it basically ran around and was pretty funny teachers did try to catch him but basically they opened doors and figured the pig would run outside the janitor went caveman and killed the pig with a broken brome handle blood all over the floor janitor was fired that day this is around a week after the parkland shooting in florida some freshmen thought it would be a cool idea to bring in a bb pistol during school hours all the staff thought he was an actual school shooter and there were a lock down with everyone ready to throw some heavy books at the first person who came in their rooms he got expelled and some say that he got sent to juvie one time at my high school some dude brought in a string of firecrackers big ones set them off in the middle of class change almost caused a mass panic got two weeks suspension despite breaking three level four offenses which had the automatic punishment of expulsion our school administration was a freaking joke a year before i transferred to a school i learned that some seniors greased the steps with baby oil causing students to slip and fall including teachers one of which was several months pregnant the principal ordered that they do not get to walk for graduation there was this whole mess with the parents fighting to get the punishment overturned some of the students got punished and others got to walk for graduation the parents were like no one got seriously hurt and it was just a prank but seriously comer it was just a prank that could have potentially hurt or killed someone every action has consequences and you better be ready to own up to that when the hammer comes down at high school someone in my year group decided it would be a funny idea to run and tackle a bin that was leaning on a pole he then pretended to be unconscious and as the group of students watched on rumors started to go around that he jumped off the second story walkway and tackled the pole in the air and then fell towards the ground he continued to pretend to be unconscious and as soon as the ambulance arrived to check on his injuries he suddenly jumped up and ran off into the distance and out of the school a couple of underclassmen crashed a wholesome senior prank and ruined it the original prank was spray painting the graduating class year all over the building in washable paint but these kids came by after they were done and did swears and slurs the graduating class almost didn't walk until parents kept complaining that their kid s wasn't at fault they ended up having to do whatever they did to cover up the writings and there was still a pillar with a dong on it for a few weeks after when i was a freshman the senior prank was releasing farm animals into the school a couple had to be put down because of injuries they sustained while running loose my senior year someone crap on the cafeteria floor and then surrounded it with some sort of clear oil but one of the janitors got hurt trying to clean it up i'm all for a funny pranks but this was just vandalism and cruelty the one i've heard that sounds good is to release two farm animals with numbers written on them the first with the number one and the second with the number three not only do you have a good farm animal prank but the admin will go crazy looking for number two in senior year my genius classmates thought it would be a good idea to take all the books out of the library and make a giant book mountain needless to say we spent around seven hours learning the dewey decimal system i was livid when the administration forced our whole class to resort the books even though it was like three idiots who made the whole mess corporate punishment is technically against the geneva convention someone bought multiple bottles of this stuff called liquid butt and absolutely poured like 10 bottles of the stuff in the men's restroom it was truly the smell of putrid rotting dead elephant crap it was horrendous if i smelled a dead body it would be the second worst thing i've ever smelled it was that bad our poor janitor was a sign to clean it up and so he walked in and immediately projectile vomited all over the bathroom and quit the job on the spot we were now out of janitor and the mess now had the new addition of vomit on top of 10 bottles of liquid but it took a while to find a new janitor so the vomit just sort of sat there for a week and it was basically a biohazard at that point a new janitor eventually cleaned the mess in a full body suit but even after bleaching everything we could still smell it for over six months they had to permanently remove the front door to that bathroom that stuff is putrid i remember when i was a sophomore the senior squirted it on freshmen and they just stank up to high heck all day long i could only imagine 10 bottles during one of my siblings tenure a few students broke into the gymnasium and turned hoses onto the basketball court completely ruined everything as it ran a good part of the night i believe they caught and expelled all of them my class had a few people super glue as many door locks they could reach that really made everyone happy why the old carry the tiches volkswagen into the quad prank that at least only caused some inconvenience and not property damage became a thing of the past i'll never know moving a car even a few meters is theft someone shot out a bunch of windows at my high school much more aggressive than the staircase covered in little cups of water someone put a couple of dead fish in the laundry dryer at my boarding school we also had a three-year string of phantom poopers who would just take shoots in random places like corridors urinals etc must have been different people because you can only be there for two years at a time most do one plot twist it was a teacher this actually happened at a friend's school a guy found a dead pigeon and the class decided it would be fun to hide it inside a hardcover folder that a teacher left on her desk the only problem was that the pigeon would bulge the folder so they had no better idea than to put it inside and stomp the folder and pigeon flat when the teacher she was pregnant at the time opened the folder she yelled in terror and fainted they took her out in an ambulance on the next day the principal informed the class that the teacher suffered a miscarriage and that they were lucky if she didn't press any charges needless to say they never told anyone whose idea it was or who participated in the prank so incredibly heartbreaking i wouldn't call this a prank but a kid once wrote the name of another kid in his own crap on the toilet wall this was a fate worse than death for the unsuspecting victim cries of derision could be heard throughout the building malicious rumors were spread for weeks the poor kid was subjected to a social death sentence a dead man walking it wasn't until a fateful rainy thursday afternoon after pay that the wrongly accused was exonerated when the real shitasso fell victim to his own hubris and was caught brown-handed in the act of feckle graffiti shakuspurian writing i broke into my friend's middle school email account in the middle of the night to tell send his current email address a message from the future this message was inspired by that one prank from the office where jim sends white faxes from the future about the coffee being poisoned my dumbass took it one step farther and said that my friend needed to stop me and my other friend from playing the piano at break as otherwise a bomb would go off my friend took this seriously and alerted a teacher who immediately knew it was me yeah the police were called my butt nearly suspended and i was grounded for a month upvoted for commitment going back about 15 years ago a group of 10 13 senior kids decided to raid our community school and literally rip off all tube lights bend all ceiling fans smash some walls etc there was quite a substantial amount of damage at that time cctvs weren't all that famous or used so it was difficult to identify but luckily there were some eyewitnesses in the boys and their parents were immediately summoned kids suspended and parents were asked to foot a bill oh and the kids were named and shamed in front of the whole community one guy from my school sprayed some pepper spray in the air during class because he thought it would only make everyone's eyes sting a little ended up with some students almost suffocating to death the whole floor getting evacuated and the guy getting expelled okay so this but axe body spray happened at my school a few years before i started there this was actually in middle school the bathrooms had particularly low ceilings one day some boys went into the girls bathroom during class time i guess when the least amount of people would be in there and somehow managed to get a chair up into the ceiling tiles many girls knew they did this and we all thought it was pretty funny we forgot about the chair for like a week until it came crashing down onto a girl who was using the toilet this girl was very frail and super underweight it came down and knocked her out the school went on lockdown while the paramedics took her to the hospital she was fine they locked the bathrooms the rest of the year and only opened them between classes many kids would go to the nurse to use a bathroom when they couldn't hold it in class this all happened a couple of years before i started high school but someone released thousands of crickets into the building they're still in the air ducts and we can't get them out all of the air vents have been locked shut until a solution is found some guys thought it would be funny to put a six pack of beer and a joint in my trombone case during class freaking everyone saw them do it but i got caught with it dude at my school broke into the titus lounge and microwave ghost pepper popcorn they thought it would just make everyone's eyes water a little they basically maze to everyone in the tiny compact hallway that the tiches lounge is in the school has no idea who did it but classes in that hallway had to be relocated there's got to be more to this i microwave ghost pepper popcorn in my apartment and yeah it makes my eyes water a little when i open the bag but that's about it my hs was quite large and was a campus with many buildings and in my junior year a senior drove though campus ripping wheelies on his dirt bike wearing only a jock strap that got the administrators up in arms legendary for a senior prank at my hs a group of kids stole a ton if not all i can't remember of the bathroom store doors while the administration was trying to figure out who did it how to replace all the missing doors they had makeshift plywood doors installed they eventually caught the kids who did it and formally charged them with theft and a few other things it was pretty genius though to pay the legal fees the kids got a shitload of t-shirts printed with the phrase i prefer the plywood and most of the school bought them in solidarity so all in all a kind of heartwarming ending to a too far situation in my brother's school like 10 years ago apparently these seniors tried to prank their teacher by putting three viagra in his coffee legend has it he taught with the chair blocking him the entire time this is actually super dangerous if the teacher had been taking nitroglycerine or other blood pressure cardiac meds that viagra could literally have killed him during every winter this giant flock of seagulls would always show up at my high school and hang out around campus until springtime the majority of students ate lunch outside in this huge central courtyard the seagulls were so annoying and constantly hovering and pretty much begging for food it was also common to get your food stolen by one if you weren't looking one day a fellow student had some string in his backpack so we took six feet or so piece of string tied a bite-sized piece of pizza to one end and an empty 20 ounces soda bottle to the other we then proceeded to throw the contraption into a group of seagulls we never thought they'd fall for it once eagle swallowed the pizza and started to fly across campus with the string and bottle floating behind him hanging from his beak the rest of the seagulls freaked out and we're flying behind him as if they were chasing him the funniest part was that a random female student looked up saw what she believed to be a floating empty soda bottle and screamed in horror omg that bottle is floating the seagull then vomited up the pizza string contraption and went about his life unharmed we felt really bad after that and decided not to prank the seagulls anymore continued a few days later some younger kids freshmen tried to mimic our little prank except it all went wrong for them a seagull fell for the bait but ended up getting caught in a tree the freshmen then started to panic fearing they'd be in trouble if caught and had to boost each other up to free the seagull from the tree the seagull was fine and flew away but after that the pranking of seagulls came to an official end this was all right i was afraid when it got to the part where the one student opened his backpack i was afraid it was going to go something like he pulled out costco sized box of alka-seltzer some seniors came in at night and moved all the desks and white boards so that the classrooms were now set up outside school was outside the next day the school made them cleanse up after school they repeated the same prank five more times there was one year where the seniors at my high school were notoriously bad for end of the year pranks but the one they're remembered for is when they poured multiple pounds of flour down the most central fourth floor staircase in the school it took forever for the custodians to clean up of course it also caused lots of kids to have asthma attacks and the staircase was close in proximity to the special ed classrooms from what i've heard many kids did not walk for graduation that year my old high school had a rivalry with another high school in the same district years ago the football teams would play pranks in each other they escalated to the point of the other high school killing a black cat and hanging it from a tree at our school our mascot was the panthers someone placed posters of hentai around the school in various locations a separate group of guys took everything out of a classroom and put it all on the roof the school didn't tolerate end-of-year pranks after that reminds me when i found futurama p in the gym back in middle school legend has it that one summer our town got super hot and my high school decided to have a school wide water balloon fight it was wholesome fun at first with kids using balloons water guns and super soakers to relieve some heat then somebody probably a bunch of them decided to just use whatever that not water instead pretty soon some nasty stuff was in the air we're talking pee watered down poop dirt water condom and water etc that was probably yours maybe a decade ago they don't do that sort of thing anymore don't know what my class did but the class above me ran down the halls and sprayed either skunk or fart spray everywhere dumb part was they still had to go to class like the rest of us so they had to smell that god awful smell the whole day like everyone else people gagged some threw up it was awful my brother's senior class decided it would be a fun prank to break into the school at night they put dead fish in lockers shaving cream all down the halls and broke into the main office and smashed some computers they then egged the outside for good measure that hallway smelled like crap for a good month after none of them faced any legal consequences because one of the kids dad is a lawyer but i think they lost their scholarships not necessarily a high school prank but childish nonetheless i was in the car business and a couple guys went back and forth pranking each other's cars i don't remember the second to last move but the final was a little over the top in my opinion the finisher decided he'd had enough and removed the metal bottom door plate older car and lined the underneath with sardines once he screwed the plate back on no one could figure out where the rotten stink was coming from we didn't all hear until later what he actually did but the guy he did it too ended up selling his car at a loss because he couldn't get rid of the smell we used to get small boxes of frozen bait shrimp and lower people's spare tires on trucks during school place shrimp inside the rim area and raise it back up no matter how many times you washed it etc the smell of death would still be there took everyone a couple months to figure it out and then we had to move to other tricks people who've befriended the quiet kid in school what things did you wish your other classmates knew about them he was sitting on a rock at school by himself i said if i see him there again i'm gonna tell him he can't he's gotta come hang out with us cause i didn't want to see him by himself anymore he didn't have to talk to us if he didn't want to i wasn't going to let him be a target to anyone he integrated into our group nicely and quick we all joke that because he's quiet he'll murder someone mostly being me for making him be social and he ran with the joke his social skills weren't on par with the rest of us one day we both got to school early and we sat down where our group hung out together and he turned around and told me his dad went to jail the night before his father had been belting his mother for a few years and i think it stunted a lot of his social skills we've been best mates for the past 15 years now he's often the life of the party when we all catch up i'm very proud of him dang dude he was very lucky to have you source someone who wasn't as lucky that she was always so helpful so sweet and so talented poor girl died because of her brain tumor when she was in her teens i befriended her in junior high when she was diagnosed oh god this reminded me of this girl haley from high school super sweet positive and caring but she clearly had something medical going on and she just disappeared from school one day and i never heard about her again i wonder where she is now he was brilliant ahead of his time and the best friend i have ever experienced he was tormented for being so smart our friendship was frowned upon because we were a boy and girl he treated me like that didn't matter 1956 when his family moved i looked into their empty home and cried he took his time talking it was unnerving at first but then kind of cool like he actually thought about every response he made and how those responses could be perceived people can be cruel and pushy though because he seemed slow it could be pretty bad einstein did that he used to be mocked for how long he took to respond he was just going through every possibility i wish my classmates knew that this quiet kid now visits me weekly at the restaurant i work for and orders as usual he was the kid with a special instructor in each class made fun of for it among other things now he is independent and works lives on his own we bond over anime and kingdom hearts which i tend to play the music of over the loudspeakers at work when he comes by go to time it so that as he settles his bill and gets up to leave the loudspeaker belt out when you walk away she was just shy because of her stutter she did nt smell like they said and was insanely smart she got married last saturday and i was a mob row this is so nice to hear wish you all the best they're not up to something just because they're quiet and yes they are fine so stop asking them if they're okay or mad at you it's the quiet ones you've gotta watch out for can't count the number of times i've heard that one nothing really he was nice enough but even more strange saint home his parents were clearly the issue but he was very different and telling anyone what his home life was like would have been a curse he had his own one-man post punk band and was an absolute beast when he started singing and playing his baritone bass to her programmed drum machine he had a voice like a bell and his lyrics were incredibly deep layered and intelligent sadly he slashed his wrists in 1989 marco i still miss you dude in eighth grade there was a new student who was extremely shy and sat next to me in history class little by little i became one of the only people who he'd open up to i learned that he had asperger's and had recently transferred from a school where he was consistently bullied i wish people knew how intelligent he was he was one of the smartest people i had ever met he told me he dreamt of working for nasa one day and how passionate he was about physics and math we parted ways after middle school because we ended up going to different high schools i am now in college and was curious on what he was doing one day so i did a small google search he studies physics at mit and lectures prospective students on differential equations he's still one of the smartest people i have ever met he was just really funny and held really brutally honest opinions about everyone and everything he was just a chill guy tbh i feel like i was a quiet kid but kind of on accident i wasn't shy or anything i just didn't have a lot of friends and in eighth grade i went through kind of a weirdo rocker phase so i think i intimidated a lot of my classmates i think i became the pet project of one of the nice cool girls because she became super friendly in our last hour she noticed that i spent a lot of time writing and started asking about it she thought it was fun and i was eventually comfortable enough to share some of it with her but she never badgered me about it or made fun of it i don't know if she ever went back to her friends and made fun of me if she did i never heard about it it was a small school i would have thanks alison allison is cool all my homies appreciate alison i befriended a shy hard-working and really smart student named elizabeth beth for short after a year of hanging out and her coming over to my house she finally invited me to hers i was stunned by what i saw she was absurdly rich and wealthy her house wasn't a house at all it was a mansion and she lived in the wealthiest part of town i was shocked and asked her why she was so quiet in school she said i don't want to be friends with people who only see me as a free bank card we're still friends to this day he was strong and smart but shy once he lifted me and another classmate off the floor in a hug he can still do it and he's good in class only he has a hard time talking because he resents being too thin and tall physical 1.80 i am shy not very strong and smart but i've gotten a lot better in the last few years like two years ago i maybe could do one pull up now i do too often sometimes even three once she got comfortable she was hilarious and had the most dirtiest minds with the most dirtiest jokes it was awesome i prefer quiet people they're honest and upfront and no bulls and they're not trying to be anybody else but themselves honestly they're sometimes the best people doesn't judge has cool hobbies don't need to be forced to be cool around them overall cool people i was the quiet kid i had two close friends around them i was not quiet lol i was the quiet kid i would just let everyone know i'm enjoying the wallflower roll no one messes with you people just assume you are smart and you can come to class stoned without anyone knowing it's a good life i married the quiet kid he was the tall dark and quiet type who happened to be a punk with a mohawk a lot of people were curious about him especially girls but they didn't pursue him i did he's amazing and if they had put in some effort they would have discovered the shy guy was the smartest and funniest in the room now i get to spend my life with someone way out of my league cute three i helped a scrawny quiet kid find his voice he is now the biggest loudmouthed braggart but all i know 32 years later we were also friends with the biggest loudmouthed opinionated class clown who married an overbearing shrew and he turned into a mousy shell of his former self shakespeare doesn't have as many plot twists about the same number of shrews though when i see people like that i never judge them because i know people like them maybe has something in the past forced them to be like the quiet kid or maybe not just their personality i was maybe the second most quiet kid i tried talking to the most quiet kid he was fine just a little less comfortable being included than i was i learned later he was struggling with being gay and coming out to his straight friend once he was out of the closet he became much more outgoing now i'm the most antisocial person i know bro you just need to come out as gay to your friend and problem fixed when i took a class called marriage and family in college there was a painfully quiet and shy guy that always wore cool band t-shirts i didn't sit next to him but i would compliment his shirts when he walked by it grew into a close friendship and i wish that people realized how intelligent he actually is that he loves playing guitar and drums and is really good but he would never admit it that he has a compassionate and gentle soul and is a hippie at heart but you know what i guess it doesn't matter that they don't really know him it just means that since they never tried they are unfortunate enough to not have him in their lives we are married now and about to celebrate our third wedding anniversary sounds like the class worked the quiet anti-social kid that looked like he'd go nowhere in life is actually a really successful youtuber twitch streamer now i guess all of those years of focusing on gaming instead of homework paid off in the end for him he's one of those streamers that people watch for the skill showcase rather than the personality though looking at his oldest videos versus his newest ones it looks like he's grown some entertainer skills too i feel like this is kind of a trend i was so anxious in school that i basically didn't speak but i post a lot of stuff of myself online sewing stuff mostly i don't think people would expect it because you normally associate them being quiet with not posting much on social media etc i'm one of the quiet kids i can get along easily with anyone but it's not easy when everybody either ignores you or talks above you so as it went on i started getting quieter and now i am one of the kids who wants to get to know you who wants to talk to you and want to be friends and i know everybody's names and how who they are but none of them know me i know how you feel you ignored her but she was always watching and listening she was a nice kid but if she hadn't been she would have had a mental list of everyone's private conversations what else was she supposed to do with no one to talk to during lunch and recess so she just watched and listened it became a habit until she knew little secrets about almost everyone she never told them unless it was relevant to the conversation but i knew that she knew one day she just disappeared from school and never came back and i think i am the only one who remembers she ever existed whenever a quiet kid is at your lunch table and you're talking some smack about someone they are like a radar with a one light year each i befriended someone in my class who were bullied i also bullied him a bit before i got to know him i felt sorry for him though so since we were gonna be in the same class for three years i started bringing him along to parties and gatherings with my friends helped him fit in more and get to know more people he is one of my best friends now also one of those more trustworthy of my friends he is still weird but not in a negative way love that dude don't bully or judge people by appearance all good for you man i was a quiet kid but for some reason everyone tried to be my friend i did have friends but for whatever reason in every class i didn't have friends and there would be at least three or four people just talking to me in a friendly manner not trying to make me do anything or say anything but just because they think i have no friends so they make me want to feel accepted by being friendly me of course being an extreme introvert except to my closest friends would try and finish any conversation as quick as possible my boyfriend is a quiet kid we've been best friends for several years he's the funniest guy i know used to be self-conscious but with me is confident and happy extremely intelligent independent and creative very loving towards me and animals will cry at puppy videos he's adorable just needs more alone time to recharge he's quiet because he prefers listening to others over talking a lot alone time to recharge yup i can relate to this can i answer this as someone who used to be the quiet kid i'd want other classmates to know that it's rude to request me to say things just for your amusement i get it i'm quiet i've heard about it almost every day for years that doesn't give you the right to treat me as a trained circus animal that does tricks i can totally relate to this and when you do finally say something they act as if they've just witnessed one of the seven wonders of the world sometimes they are the smartest mf in the room and have interesting hobbies they are chill to hang out as you are not forced to keep a convo going this is so relatable i used to be the shyest kid in the school still am but i've gotten better at being nice to people as long as you don't question my every action or try talking 24 stroke 7 i'm fine hanging out i am the quiet kid and i wish people knew that i'm not weird or gonna shoot up the school like i just had a hard life i'll like to read that's basically it talking is overrated this one's he kept calling me school shooter pee me off so much i'm not even quiet because of home crap i just can't talk without tripping over my own words he was a good artist but a little weird he would draw pictures of mountain tops with him on top with a lemon yellow sun poor kid his parents just didn't care and didn't give attention i moved away after a while i don't know whatever became of that kid maybe he finally spoke up my quiet friend had probably genius level iq everyone knew that though so not much i wish other classmates knew fun fact he had this rare condition of growing double teeth like a shark doesn't always regrow them but he showed that to everyone so also not a thing i wish they knew about him they already did it was cool though you could see them growing in dang how do you stay quiet with a condition like that my brother was the quiet kid after he died a couple years ago me and my siblings got messages from people we didn't know he knew or were friends with all talking about how hilarious they thought he was he hated gossip and drama and just wanted people to be real and have a good time he was a dime among nichols i used to sit next to the quiet kid in science class and got pretty friendly with him turned out he was a pretty good skater and this was in the early 2000s when it was super popular he had a recording studio in his house my friends and i were sitting in the back of the bus early 90s and the quiet nerdy kid sat kind of near us a group of like six of us all going over to one kid's house to shoot pool and smoke weed and this kid sat near us wearing headphones and ignoring us so my boyfriend at the time asked what he's listening to genuinely curious this kid was so quiet we knew nothing about him despite our school being pretty small quiet kid is like oh it's a song i made and hands over the headphones we couldn't believe it drums guitar and singing it was all jim he would record himself playing each part of the song he wrote and put it all together the quiet kid ended up being a music genius and his parents fully supported him and since a couple of us were starting a band we all became friends with the quiet kid that he really was fully capable of doing something atrocious there was a kid i basically grew up with but always avoided elementary school middle school and high school he was picked on constantly obviously somewhere on the spectrum but undiagnosed everything he said was either creepy or unsettling and he was basically the school punching bag anyway i start feeling sorry for him in high school i figured he'd grow out of it or the bullies would move away but he just made new bullies i stopped inviting him to things with us just to see if there was anything in there there was and it was freaking terrifying i didn't know it at the time but knowing what i know now i can guarantee he was a grade a psychopath sociopath zero empathy for anyone the amount of times he'd make some offhand remark about someone being better off dead was freaky not even just people that bullied him that was understandable tbf it was the ones he was just jealous of any jock on the planet the cheerleaders the popular fashion kids even his fellow anime nerds that could draw well i could almost see the rage bubbling in his eyes when i mentioned my friend who was one of those popular anime artists at the school anyway we invite him to a party and everyone is completely smashed he just straight up confesses that he was planning to massacre everyone back in middle school but didn't have access to guns back then and also admit that us inviting him along on stuff eased some of the tension and the violent part of his brain i don't know if he was just being an edgy little crap or if he was actually being real but i don't doubt for a second that he was capable of it this was senior year and we really didn't want to start more trouble for him so we didn't tell anyone figuring we'd just keep him under control until we graduated looking back i really wish we did he didn't get any less freaky as the year went on she was very smart confident in herself and generally a great person she just doesn't like small talk or talking to people she already knows doesn't like or respect her i befriended a very quiet kid who i believe was extremely socially awkward and a bit of an introvert i picked him up to grab a bite one day and his mother wanted to speak to me to make sure i was legit we were 23 at the time during dinner he'd vocalize things most people wouldn't say why are you shaking your leg why do you have moles on your face why do you bite your nails ultimately i couldn't sustain the relationship because this person became incredibly clingy and wanted to hang out more often and would send me lots of messages and without phil to say things like are you not getting my messages and i see you are online please respond i'm rambling but i befriended the quiet kid in college treated him with decency and ultimately felt like it was draining and a lot of work being his friend he almost felt like a project someone i needed to teach social skills interactions and common knowledge a task too big for me to surmount honestly i grew up being picked on because of my speech impediment problems like stuttering and pronouncing any word with r in it was a freaking nightmare my travel soccer team was pretty brutal to me because i wasn't the best and well my speech sucked anyways those are shots on my soccer team gave me the best lesson in life i could have ever be given in i knew what it felt like to be picked on ostracized and humiliated those feelings freaking sucked as a kid it sucked so much that i unconsciously decided to never make anyone else feel that way it wasn't till later in life i made the connection of why i am the way i am as a person of course there's other factors like my family some church and my friends but yeah i knew what it felt like to be the last one picked i knew what it felt like to be alone in a room full of people i knew what it felt like to be mocked and laughed at all because of the buttholes i played soccer with i still question till this day if i came across a burning car and my soccer team was in it would i save them anyways my high school was decently large 2 000-ish kids there wasn't anyone i wouldn't say hello to or engage with if i saw someone who looked like they were going through the crap i went through i made it a point to just say hello hey how are you now i didn't become best friends with them but i recognized them and continued to just say hey how are you doing by the time high school came around i had a lot more confidence in myself i was a much better soccer player and had an extremely tight-knit group of best friends regardless if you were white black mexican gay man female i didn't care i made a couple friends in a couple of loosely associated gangs that we had in and around where we lived just because i said sup man you all good combine that with a sincere tone of hey i see you and i hear you made all the difference as humans we thrive literally and chemically in our brains off of interactions with other people i guess i made a decent enough impression on people because they elected me for a bunch of crap throughout high school my senior superlative was most friendliest i know grammar i live in a smallish city now of days and i don't do this every time but when i see a homeless person asking for money i make it a point to actually have an interaction with them hey what's your name where you from all right now stay safe out here man i'd like to think the couple extra minutes i give to people makes a difference but i don't know so to answer your question op i wished people just knew the choir kids were just like everyone else and i wish everyone knew what it felt like to be the quiet kid so i had this kid at school with no friends i befriended him and he helped me make a roblox game in java games those games are lost though btw he was a quiet kid i befriended the quiet kid in high school and if i could say one thing to my former classmates it would be that no he was not planning to shoot up the school it's ridiculous that they were so concerned that he'd shoot everyone as revenge for being bullied but they kept bullying him anyway he didn't want to hurt anyone he just wanted people at school and at home to treat him better that kid's quiet because trying to befriend others or fit in beforehand didn't work there is no magic key and sometimes the friends they had just pitted them i'm getting tired of this quiet kid meme in general being quiet doesn't mean they are snobby or judging you my friend who was quiet was often perceived this way but had intense social anxiety and was used to being spoken over outside of school she lit up and was much more comfortable sharing he was so incredibly kind but no one gave him a chance he killed himself in 11th grade no one noticed the school didn't commemorate him he deserved to live a few weeks later a very popular bully butthole jerk died suddenly it was school news they announced it over an intercom and sent grief counselors across the school during the announcement many of us were victim to this bully including dead friend he deserved to live that's what i want everyone to know teachers of reddit what is the strangest thing a child has brought in for show and tell in the fourth grade i brought in my grandfather yup my grandpa he told jokes and did these really cool whistling tricks looking back on it that was probably strange one of my students this year second grade brought in a cassette tape not to play just to show nobody knew what it was i had to explain it i worked at a tech camp last summer and i always enjoyed asking my kids if they knew what the save icon was every single week only one or two in my class of eight would know my brother brought in a turkey leg once like the claw of a dead turkey the teacher confiscated it because she was creeped out by it and my dad had to go in and get it he was pulling the tendon to make the claw open and close a bit that was apparently too much for the teacher my father used to hunt he would cut the skin of the claws off at the joint and pull hard to remove the tendons from the drumstick my brother and i loved pulling the tendons to make the claws open and close we would grab each other's clothes or hold things one child forgot to bring something once found this out later so he blew his nose in a kleenex put it in his pocket and showed us his boogers his improvisational and planning skills will take him far in life when i was in grade 6 i brought in a photo of my grandfather shaking hands with winston churchill my grandfather was in politics low level and met him i didn't think it was that cool but my dad promised me it would be worth bringing in nobody in my class cared at all but my teacher called in other teachers to show them and they all asked me a million questions no idea where the photo went my grandmother saw a suffragist hit winston churchill with her umbrella i taught outdoor education for a few years and one of the activities i would do with the younger groups was to have them find something in nature and use my stash of trail guides to learn something cool about the thing to tell the rest of the class one kid found an eyeball at first i thought he had gotten some mossy rock out of the creek until he started twirling it around by the optic nerve like some kind of horrifying nunchucus i had my aunt for a teacher so i always brought in embarrassing pictures of her for show and tell the 80s were bad to her but good to me especially when the principal sat in this feels so backwards to what i would expect there was a kid in my kindergarten class that did the full choreography to buy bye bye he was obsessed with in sync and after third grade we weren't allowed to talk to him about the boy band because his counselor said so he also hated me because i liked backstreet boys i guess he could take no more a child in a nearby classroom brought in an object and told his teacher that he had found a cute little whistle at home and put it into his mouth to demonstrate the teacher recognized the object as an applicator for a feminine product used to control yeast infections while the children went to a special class the new toy disappeared from the child's desk the teacher did call the mother to let her know what had come to school i would love to hear that conversation in high school we had some sort of fundraising thing where we would donate money toward a specific staff member and whoever had the most donations had to kiss a turkey around thanksgiving all the staff thought it was going to be a fake turkey but a teacher that i knew really well who disliked another staff member came to me and asked me to bring in a turkey from my dad's farm she planned to donate a pretty good chunk of change to switch the vote in her favor it also just happened the whole fundraiser was her idea fast forward a few weeks it's the vote counting day sure enough the staff member she disliked got picked it was interesting the look on his face as i marched a turkey out of its cage and up onto a cafeteria table totally implant except between myself and the organizing teacher everyone was absolutely stunned at the live bird gobbling at them as it roted around like it owned the place and yes he did actually kiss it as did several other students surprisingly it didn't try to peck the incoming human faces it was a really chill bird my elementary school art teacher would always bring a live turkey to class with her around thanksgiving it was pretty cool and she was well known for doing it in the third grade a guy in my class brought a jock cup the kind to protect your nuts which if you didn't know has holes to help breathing well a girl raised her hand and asked how do you drink out of it the teacher stood up and had him put it away without explaining it i took my fox terrier to school for show and tell teacher was cool with it and i ended up keeping him at school with me for the whole day best day ever this is more of a show and stop telling i did my student teaching in a first grade class a police officer came in one day to talk to the kids just like a fun thing he was showing the kids his tools and he holds up the handcuffs and a little girl in the back shouts out my mommy has those on her nightstand i keep mine in a drawer wtf not show and tell but in preschool we were allowed to bring movies from home to watch as a group in the morning and if your movie was the one picked out of the few brought in you were the cool kid of the day basically i decided to bring in this movie cause it had pretty girls with swords on the cover turns out i brought some weird lesbian hunty that belonged to my dad they gave it back to me to take home and told me not to bring it back again in first grade i brought in the skull of a dead animal that got hit by a train on the tracks behind our house it still had a little bit of gray fur left attached and i told the class i hoped it was an alien and pointed out how it didn't look like a cat or raccoon my teacher made me wash my hands pro tip from a kid that also loves skulls of dead animals dead animals i found not killed throw that sucker into an ants hill and come back the next day it'll be pure white and shiny like a new skull well a new skull without skin and crap when i was in third grade this girl brought a human skull in she said her grandpa got it from nam or world war ii i don't really remember it freaked everyone out but i remember thinking it was cool as crap my son did assa in preschool for his show and tell politely explained that butthole is a bad word and you shouldn't say it in our defense he was allowed to ask me what any word meant so he would know which were bad words he shouldn't say and why it never occurred to him that it would cause a stink he honestly thought he was being helpful cause a stink hahaha i'm not a teacher but i worked in an after-school program this second grader comes in after show until day and hands me something which i take without thinking about it it's like a dried speckled piece of pink paper i ask what is this my placenta um what the [ __ ] is just thinned at me or placenta my super calm response though was oh cool why don't we put it in a bag and put it in your backpack for safe keeping gross super super gross all of my children at one time or another brought in our great dane the teachers loved it because the whole class could pet her at once the dane also appeared in many a math class counting her spots and for the letters b for big and e obvious davious not a teacher but in second grade a kid showed everyone his prosthetic leg he proceeded with taking it off and showing us what was underneath i swear i am not lying a principal friend of mine called me in stitches one day and said a small kid at his rural school had a big black dildo in his backpack luckily it was found by his teacher early in the morning before show and tell this year a grade six child brought a bird on a leash in a backpack to school the vp found her running through the hallway after it and the tiny leash around its neck during recess one day we couldn't figure out how she got the dang leash on the thing i never realized how much i wanted a bird on a leash till now when i was in first grade i forgot to pick something out for show and tell so in the morning i panicked so just so i have something to bring i asked my dad if he would be my show and tell he was so excited and happy he called out of work and went to the basements to grab some stuff 10 minutes later he come running up with a weird-looking briefcase and told me to get ready for school he was so excited he drove me to school went inside with me and asked when show and tell was after finding out it wasn't until before lunch he got a little disappointed but he went to go get coffee the time comes around for show until and he comes in right as it's my turn i tell everyone that this is my dad he raised me and yeah then my dad told me to take a seat because he wanted to show everyone something he opens the briefcase and to my surprise he brought magic stuff he put on a show for the whole class and finished up with some cool yo-yo tricks and gave my teacher a bouquet of roses she ended up blushing and everyone teased her for liking my dad the whole class was at or and my classmates wanted him to be at their birthdays it was great that's so sweet he's a good dad my brother talked my mom into bringing a cow to school for him we lived in the middle of nowhere i was probably four and my brother was six while my brother was at school my mom put the cow in the front seat of the car and me in the back seat as we pulled up that to school the cow crapped all over the seat good times not a teacher but when i was in first or second grade i brought my baby sister for show and tell she had just been born and i was excited to be a big brother we're seven years apart i think that's pretty weird i had just had a medical circumcision at age six so i got up in front of the class and whipped out my dong to show the class my awesome stitches boy i was a confident kid guy in my bio class brought in two sugar glitters four lovebirds and a pair of skinks he insisted the bird's wings were clipped but as soon as he let them out they flew up into the rafters 15 feet above us where they sat until facilities arrived with the ladder i work with small birds like that clipping wings means jack and crap for little ones i tried to bring my goldfish unfortunately i didn't tell anyone i wanted to bring him and tried to take him out of the tank with my hands my parents caught me before mine died my sister that shared the tank with him on the other hand wasn't so lucky he was so little said lenny i was just playing with him and he made like he's gonna bite me and i made like i was gonna smack him and and i done it and then he was dead when i was in kindergarten i brought cheesy broccoli into show and tell because it was my favorite thing that my mom made to eat and i wanted to share it with everyone i was really excited to and helped her prepare it the morning of and thought everyone would think it was cool i brought something everyone could eat instead of my favorite toy the rest of the class was not as excited as me and no one except a teacher and i think maybe one other kid ate any of it i was a bit disappointed that nobody liked it but at the same time was happy because it meant more for me looking back it was a really weird thing to bring but i was also a really strange kid when i was in third grade we had cut an enormous tree down from the backyard the tree removal people had found a pretty big bird's nest with eggs at the top and since there was nothing they could really do about destroying the tree at saturn i brought it into school however it wasn't even show and tell i just walked in carrying a giant thing wrapped in a garbage bag and set it down on the back table without saying a word it was kinda cool but that one mean for no reason a smart kid that everyone had in their class at one point or another walked up and squeezed all the freaking eggs and wiped his hand on my shirt i think he was jealous i'm looking at you aaron you douche canoe aaron is such a bungalio when i was in first grade i didn't tell anyone i just put my cap gun in the cargo pocket of some camo pants i was wearing along with cowboy boots because i was a freaking g when it was my turn to go up to show and tell i just walked to the front of the class pulled out the cap gun and started shooting it the teacher took it away from me and told me to sit down and that i wasn't supposed to bring stuff like that to school it was 1991 different times man today i have probably been expelled i brought in a cap gun to show my friends it was modeled after a glock and i had taken the orange cap off this would have been grade 6 or 7 around 1998 the principal told me i could have it back at the end of the day and it was not an appropriate toy to bring to school when i was in elementary school i used to bring in my dad for show and tell my old man is like six feet and at the time was pretty swoll since he worked heavy construction the thing was both my parents were certified rescue divers so they had like six sets of scuba gear dad loved it he got an excuse to take five hours off of work and i got the awesome satisfaction of seeing everyone's face when this huge butt man in full scuba gear awkwardly flops through the door making that awesome sound that bcs and regulators make god my dad is cool when i was in preschool i brought my lion king elephant graveyard playset i thought it was awesome but it was missing pretty much every piece other than the base so i probably looked pretty stupid i'm sure those two to four year olds were judging you so hard this one is me i brought my dad to show and tell not strange but no one i have ever known brought their parent to show and tell little did we know you aren't 54 hated the living crap out of show and tell and said frick you misses jenkins i.t is career debbie one of my students brought in a horse show crab shell that she found not terribly weird but she did wrap it up in a box with christmas wrapping which was kind of strange one kid in my class brought a freaking tractor we all went out back and every single kid wanted to ride on it they were pee when they couldn't they lived close and the dad drove it i'm not a teacher but the kid first grade mr palmer's class at cernson elementary in kurdalinid 1979 my young mother had a side job she was a bartender waitress by trade as a mud wrestler you know bikinis mud girl on girl writhing and play fighting she would bring home trophies i was so proud of her she won all the time i took her trophies and winning very seriously so i thought i should share that my 23 year old mother kicked buzz at mud wrestling and earned giant trophies the one i picked to share was extra special because it had dried mud splat on it needless to say mr palmer in the classroom didn't share my same enthusiasm to the trophy my mom was mortified i'm still proud of her not a teacher but when i was in fifth grade my elementary school had show and tell in all grades a kid brought in his star wars collection he was very excited about every piece towards the end he starts saying how his whole family loves star wars even his mom at that point he reaches into his backpack and pulls out a blue vibrator the kind that's smooth and metallic looking he then explained that it's his mom's lightsaber by then the teacher jumped in front of him and told him to put everything away and go see the principal but the kid had no idea what was going on but some of the class was laughing their asses off it also vibrates in the rhythm of star wars theme my cousin brought in moose antlers in kindergarten yes she is canadian a moose bit my sister not a teacher but one time my little brother took a rock to show and tell to be fair it was a christmas present from me and my older sister it was intended as a joke but he thought it was amazing so we didn't have the heart to tell him probably grew up to be a geologist when i was a freshman in high school i had to take a public speaking class one day a student decided to bring in a bucket of fish and guts them in front of everyone with a knife the point of the exercise was to teach the class how to do something the teacher thought nothing of it and he didn't even get in trouble for bringing a knife to school that's actually a good idea i'm not a teacher and this wasn't for show and tell but in seventh grade a classmate brought in her dried up umbilical cord apparently some people keep these as family heirlooms or something she took it out of the pouch and it began to crumble it was gross i know i am late to this but my brother brought his two hamsters to school for show until when he was in second grade little did he know einstein was actually a girl on the way to school einstein gave birth to babies and when he pulled the cover off of the cage there was carnage of dead babies in the cage einstein had chewed off every single one of the baby's heads blood heads fur and hamster bedding was covering the cage the class went ape crap einstein was freaking brutal most metal show until ever in fifth grade my friend brought in grandfather's military medal and commendation from world war ii i couldn't read them because they were written in german my great-grandad may be old but he's a huge wolfenstein fan he's even got cosplay outfits and everything locked up in his attic a wind-up toy from the early 20th century that had a offensively stereotypical black man big lips very dark skin etc that would both eat a piece of watermelon and pop a boner when you wound it up when i was in second grade i brought my cat severed tail in my mother had accidentally run over his tail with the car after a couple of weeks it fell off leaving him looking like a bobcat unfortunately i forgot that i had it in my messy desk i found it stinking and rotting in a baggie at the bottom of my desk on the last day of school i was so embarrassed that i tried to hide it but the girl next to me smelled it and called me out on it when i was a three-year-old in daycare i mimed the entire process of making blended margaritas like i did for my parents every saturday you should give my kid lessons parents of reddit what's the funniest reason you've been called into school to collect your child i was called to collect my son when he was in first grade because he was being disrespectful to his classmates they wouldn't explain my son told me that jeffrey pantsed him that makes no sense about an hour later the light bulb went on you didn't wear underwear today did you nope i was called in because the elementary school was going on a field that my son forgot to give me the permission slip for he decided to give forgery a whirl this was in first grade so the handwriting was awful he also signed my name mom my wife and her father's names both start with the same letter a while back he saw her signature and commented that it looked a lot like his so she said that's because i forged your signature so much in school i got a phone call earlier this year from the school nurse saying she was concerned because my son had passed out while in the lunch line i went to pick him up and he seemed a little dazed but okay my kid couldn't remember anything about what happened beforehand so i made an appointment with his pediatrician for an hour later right as we were getting ready to leave he sheepishly said mom i just remembered that right before i passed out we were playing a game to see who could turn their face the reddest so my kid had me thinking he had a brain tumor but no he just held his breath until he passed out and not a single other kid thought they should mention that to the teacher thanks for the gold in my senior year of hostel i was nearly not allowed to graduate and my family was called because i forged my own name by writing in the guardian section of a permission slip i was 18. my kid got in huge trouble in kindergarten a girl told the teacher he said the s word he lost recess they called me it was a big deal i went to pick him up and said so what the s word and he stared at his shoes and whispered sexy yeah confirmed by the little tattletail all of this was caused by sexy funniest one i've ever heard my kids surprisingly well behaved at school was a parent having to come get their kid after they were caught selling imaginary friends to the younger students for one dollar a piece that kid's gonna become a business mogul someday i made the mistake of telling my step-daughter about the professor i had in college that we knew never read our papers so it turned into a class game to fit ridiculous sentences and bad jokes into the middle of them to see if we'd ever get caught she apparently decided that was an amazing thing to do and i got called for a phone conference because she turned in a history paper that was chock full of awful puns that were not appreciated as a teacher i would have definitely enjoyed marking this work and lucky with the audience my mother was called to pick me and my twin sister out because we were turning blue i think it was fourth grade we felt fine though it was only after she arrived that we all remembered she had put brand new blue flannel sheets on our bed the night before apparently she hadn't washed them first i got banned form wearing my favorite yellow shirt to school because the public health nurse kept thinking i had yellow jaundice it did not bleed dion to me i was so white that the color reflected onto my skin my little brother likes cheese and mustard sandwiches so my mom made him cheese and mustard sandwiches for lunch when the teacher asked why he didn't have any meat on his sandwich he said either we can't afford meat or my mom doesn't let me or something like that whatever he said was enough to send cps over to the house another time he came to school saying that his mom loved coke that his mom said she is addicted to coke cps was called a game they lived in a different area this time coca-cola my mom couldn't go a day without a coke so she joked that she was addicted to coke i do see the irony that she was actually addicted to a drug just not the one cps was worried about i got a call that my son was sick and that i had to come pick him up he was completely fine that morning i asked the nurse he really can't go back to class and she said he says he's really sick fine i picked him up and on the walk home i asked what was up he said he had to fart really badly and didn't want to do it in class i laughed and said okay two days later i get another call to pick him up so i got him and it was for the same reason i told him that it was funny once but that from now on if he needed to fart in class he should go to the bathroom lol farting at home is best fart daycare had to talk to the director because my son three or four told another kid i'm gonna ref you up turns out he was singing bruno mars uptown funk you up so as a non-native speaker i believe that i'm gonna freak you up with the actual lyrics for many years my youngest had a slight speech impediment when he was at nursery he would replace his s's with f's to approximate the sound i had to have a chat with the head at pick up time because i'd unthinkingly used the phrase so long suckers when pulling away from some traffic lights the day before and he liked the sound of it so much he used it himself my youngest mix is p with t at the end of words i haven't been called to get him from daycare he's too but it's hard to stifle my laughter sometimes especially as there is a little toy sheep at his daycare that he wants this little toy sheep causes him to exclaim my crap as he rushes to get it my professor cited my mom because she said i was writing too slow and turned my test in right as the bell rang my mom had to leave work early to hear about her child writing slow the reason i was writing slow was because on my last test i was docked points for handwriting so this time i made sure i had the perfect most fanciest handwriting that teacher had ever seen after that the teacher stopped docking me points due to handwriting when i went to school cursive was mandatory from third grade onwards if your work wasn't in cursive it wasn't marked consequently i now have crappy cursive handwriting that was in elementary school early years the principal called us and looked at us with a stern look of disapproval while telling us our son was using bad language i then proceeded to explain to her that my wife and i only spoke french at home and we did not have television the only english our son had ever heard was at school so i asked her what she was going to do about it it was one of the shortest conversations i ever had with a principal literally pardon my french i was the kid and i was in third grade i climbed on a tree not even that high and then i wanted to climb down a teacher who hated me saw me and told me to stay there and not to move i told her it's no problem for me to come down she insisted i stayed there and turned around to call the fire brigade to get me down i had enough and climbed down anyway and then she called my mom because it was my fault the fire brigade was called for no reason the real reason was you stopped her from meeting that hot fireman she dreamed of at night i was in an early morning college class and when i got out i realized i had missed calls texts and emails from my daughter's preschool a voicemail said she had been throwing up and to please hurry and come get her when i got to the school the receptionist showed me to a room where my daughter was sat with a trash can on her lap she told me my daughter kept announcing she was throwing up and then would cough and spit into the trash can she had no fever and was otherwise cheerful and talkative i signed her out got her outside and into my car where she jumped forward and kissed my cheek and told me she missed me and where would i like to go for lunch that kid busted herself out of preschool to finagle a lunch date with me it worked dang right it did my son went to a private catholic school from first grade through eighth grade i had a nun call me one day because my son and a friend were having a peeing for distance contests in the bathroom and then another day i was called because my son was looking to see if the dictionary had the word penis in it both incidents were in the third grade he was merely identifying his weapon of choice in the distance contest when i was in seventh grade i was an office runner basically if you're reading and writing skills were above a certain level they'd let you skip reading class and just work in the office getting kids whose parents had come for them delivering messages that sort of thing anyway the kid next to me just wouldn't shut the frick up he kept rattling on and on and on and i'd had enough of it i had a monster fart brewing so i cocked my leg locked eyes with him told him to shut his mouth and farted on him or at least that was the plan instead i cocked my leg locked eyes with him told him to shut his mouth and completely crap my pants in the most glorious fashion this wasn't a little nugget this was a full pants load of chocolate pudding then ran down my leg and made a little puddle on the floor everything in the office goes dead silent and there's no mistaking what's just happened the kid just stared at me with absolute horror in his eyes without looking away from him i raised my hand and said miss office lady's name i don't remember i think i need to call my mom i went home took a bath threw the pants away and came back the next day the kid was seated on the opposite side of the room from me and i never had a problem with him again he feared and respected me from the non the ultimate power move my dad got sent to the principal's office for telling his sixth grade teacher she was pronouncing the state capital of south dakota pierre wrong but she kept saying pierre two syllables like the french name and he said it was pier one syllable like what you fish off of he was sent off for not respecting a teacher's authority my grandma had to drive to school to talk to the teacher and principal and says did you ask why he says it's peer because if you did you'd find out that both his father and i are from south dakota he visits his grandparents and aunts and uncles in south dakota every summer he knows plenty of people from south dakota who all say pier do you know anyone from south dakota no well take it from a south dakotan it's pure we're not fancy french people and stopped wasting my time my son 14 8th grade during class change walked into the boy's bathroom put his hands over his head and while thrusting his hips in a humping motion told all the other boys in the room to protect your buttholes gentlemen here i come the funniest part about it all that exact same description was jotted down on the right up slip even the principal couldn't stop laughing holy heck that's funny my daughter hid inside of a toy box for hours in preschool and the teachers couldn't find her lol she's going to be my wild child when i was in second grade i had a shirt that we got as a hand down from a friend of my mom's with braille on the front apparently no one ever took the time to figure out what it said but there was a translator key on the sleeve so i sat down and translated the word on the front one letter at a time while in class f u c k o f f oh my i said i knew this was a bad word so i told my teacher and apologized i wasn't in trouble but my parents were called and asked to come bring in a new shirt while i waited in the office my principal thought it was hilarious apparently we had a classmate who was partially blind i'm unsure if she had vision enough to see my shirt but she did no braille i believe that is one of the reasons i had to wait in the office though i'd like to imagine a seven-year-old saying that like an elderly woman seeing something risque not a parent but as a kid when i got pokemon yellow i was so goddang into it that when we went out for lunch one day at school i got inside this huge bush that was practically hollow inside it was among a load of other large bushes and trees at the side of the school field and rarely ever was entered by students because we weren't really allowed so i sat there for hours playing pokemon and when i came out it was 3pm school closed at 3.30 i had been in there since 12.30 and my mother was at the school and was freaking out because she thought they'd let me leave the school alone i got called on my work cell several times right out of college to come to a local high school because my 14 year old son was in trouble i don't have a son and if i had a son it would be very impressive if he was 14 years old then because i would have had to conceive him when i was 9 i told them that they kept calling finally i showed up at the high school to prove that i a 23 year old white guy was not the father of the 14 year old indian boy the assistant principal was like oh right not gonna lie i did that in high school they asked us to fill contact forms and i just gave a random phone number because i didn't want them calling home for skipping class my mom told me that when my brother was in grade school she got the call to pick him up for a day's suspension turned out that during lunch he opened his lunchbox and pulled out a can of fosters it was empty and it was meant to be a joke but the school didn't see it that way he was nine and right at the start of a decade-long mission to raise heck i got a call to pick up my daughter in kindergarten because she had no underwear she had them on when i put her on the bus so i have no idea what happened totally embarrassing oh my i have four kids all adults now who were pretty high spirited back in the day my oldest son however wins the prize from an incident in sixth grade i got a call one afternoon and he had been sent to the principal's office nothing new there and i needed to come get him at once although he had mooned the second graders all of them and their teachers not me but a classmate of a co-worker sent to everyone home once many years ago he nicked decent bit of elemental potassium from the chemistry lab and dropped it down the sewer access pipe outside the school this was not good for the school's plumbing city had to dig up the sidewalk to repair things not me but my sister she got a call from her son's very catholic school that he needed to be picked up she gets to the school and the principal said that he had to ho home for the day because he peed on the tree outside at recess he really laid into her about how they had to bleach the tree seriously they poured bleach on the tree because a little kid peed on it and it was terrible and how she shouldn't be teaching her son these things my sister looked him straight in the eye and asked do you really think i have the right plumbing to have taught him that yell at my husband when he comes in next time bleaching trees has got to be one of the better things i've heard today me when i was a kid we moved from middle america to the west coast i had extra sounds in a lot of my words they called my mom about my speech impediment after talking to my mom they understood it was not a so etch impediment but my birth sound language it is washington not washington my mom says washing machine and i always ask her how to spell that it's funny now but wasn't at the time one day i was called to pick up my daughter from school i asked why and was vaguely told she had been caught cheating was being disrespectful to the teacher and had destroyed government property police i thought what has she done my mind instantly went through scenarios in which she had cheated on a test got caught then my sweet little seven-year-old had cursed the teacher while throwing something through a window i got to the school found my scared daughter in the principal's office looking totally dejected and asked for an explanation i discovered the cheating was that she had giggled while playing a game where someone was it and the other half of the classroom had to guess who it was the disrespecting teacher was from her crossing her arms when she was being told how she wrecked the game the best was the explanation for destroying government property during story time she was picking at loose carpet threads i was extremely angry with my daughter the whole drive from work and after this load of w t f it instantly transferred to anger with the school you called me here because she giggled crossed her arms and picked at old nasty carpet i was hot and took my daughter home letting her know i was a bit upset with her but let her know that there would be no more punishment she'd been through enough we went home and watched cartoons and i made her favorite grilled cheese and tomato soup for lunch crap like this is precisely why parents side with their kids so much we all went through school we know the most likely teachers to kick up a fuss the ones who are a problem themselves not a parent but my sister once convinced her for her pre-k class to drop their pants in front of their vice principal i don't even remember why i think they wanted more recess i received a call from the vp of my daughter's school one day while i was at work i could tell the vp was holding back her laughter but she tried to remain professional hello your daughter acted out in class today the children were switching from coloring to reading at the carpet she threw her crayons down and pointedly said to the teacher are you freaking kidding me my knee jerk reaction was damn it are you freaking killing me it is clear where she learned this from my second thought was dang i have a kid in junior kindergarten that knows how to use that phrase in a correct form the following year the vp is no longer at the school we attend similar social group and talk often she loves to tell me that making that phone call was one of the funniest calls she has had to make as an educator my dad was called to the school when i was in grade one apparently i'd been caught with my hand in a girl's pants and has in mine while in class nephew is staying with me for two months i showed him dexter's laboratory for the first time next day they call me to pick him up because he would only say omelet do fromage to any interaction someone should have mocked him with that's all you can say it would have stopped him i too was the child i peed on my friend in fifth grade we were competing in who could pee the furthest back from the urinal when a buddy of mine decided to run underneath it for laughs hand slipped peed down his back sent to the principals my four-year-old teacher told me he had repeatedly called her and butthole she had taken something away from him and said that's all every time she came near him he said that's all to her knowing him he probably he used the same tone of voice she had used and she was a nasty piece of work when my eldest was in seventh grade i was called to school and told he was sharing inappropriate photos with his friends he had torn pictures from magazines of classic nude artwork when i asked my son where he found the pictures he told me magazines in the school library i asked the school why they were supplying my son with smut and they got all pissy apparently i was supposed to discipline my child not laugh at the school system unicorn club so my daughter was in fifth grade she was proving to be pretty responsible so she was allowed to have a cell phone because she was home about an hour before i was on weekdays and an instagram account that i heavily monitored we never had any issues still haven't and she's now in high school well i get a call from her school's principal one day he tells me two boys were fist fighting in the lunch room i asked what that had to do with my daughter well apparently my child had used an instagram account to start what was essentially a cult called unicorn club unicorns were obviously the worship deity with goats being the devil figure to the unicorn gods these two boys got into a fist fight over whether unicorns or goats were better i had to pick her up to prevent further disputes and disband unicorn club tl dr my 10 years old daughter created a small cult around unicorn worship i can respect this not me but my co-worker at the time the school called her one day to come pick up a five-year-old daughter for threatening to murder the teacher her daughter had gotten in trouble for talking when the teacher put her in timeout she said if you put me in timeout my daddy is going to come here and murder you turns out my co-worker lives on a farm where they butcher pigs when it was time to butcher a pig her dad would say gonna go murder a pig which is where she picked it up when they asked her what she thought that word meant she said you know murder it they go away and you get a new one so she thought she could get her daddy to come out and replace the teacher with a new teacher and that was what the word murder meant this is cute teachers have read it what is the greatest way a student has misinterpreted one of your assignments former seattle high school science teacher here i had one particular class which was very literal and i was cracking down on homework being late i said this assignment is due on wednesday so to get full credit email it to me before thursday so that i can start grading it in time before we meet again one student actually named kevin asked what time it should be emailed so i said by midnight he said midnight would be thursday fair point so i clarified 11 59 pm would work another kid said he'd be in arizona another time zone and asked what he should do i smiled and announced 11 59 p.m pacific standard time this should not have been a time crunch for anyone this one girl emailed me wednesday night at 11 21 pm saying here it is sorry it's early i stayed up an extra two hours waiting for 11 59 but i'm just so tired and my dad wants me to go to bed thanks for understanding oh man that is glorious i would have fit right in all my assignments are turned in at 11 59. i am a teacher but this story was from when i was a student in debate class we had to debate euthanasia the kid who was supposed to argue for it went first he started talking about how necessary it was and how terrible it was that we didn't use it more before he was giving all these examples of people that needed to be euthanized people who needed amputations people with cavities babies it became very clear very quickly that either this kid was a monster or he was talking about something else the teacher asked him charles are you talking about euthanasia or anesthesia the kid replied i have made a terrible mistake i still quote that to this day cracks me up every time comma people with cavities well mr jones the x-rays seem to indicate you actually have a number of cavities i'm sorry but we're look i swear it's just leftover broccoli on my teeth please i have a wife it was just broccoli as a teacher of a community college library course i assigned a student the task of compiling a bibliography of books for high school students on the middle ages half of the bibliography contained books on midlife crisis empty nesters and menopause i must be cast in the same cloth as this student because i thought you meant a bibliography for high school students if they were living in the middle ages so i thought all the midlife crisis stuff was a hilarious gag about the short life expectancy for medieval folk oops time to share my most embarrassing moment my first year teaching i had a foreign exchange student from france in my ella class the assignment was to write a personal narrative about an important moment in their life instead of reading the essays i had my students read them aloud if they were comfortable this was my first mistake the student who will be referred to as jay goes up to the podium to present now i need to point out that jay did not speak often in class and we've been working hard to get him speaking to his peers i was so proud that he was willing to share his story he stands up there with his essay and lets this wonderful story unfold he proceeds to tell the class about his first time having a night in mission he said he went to school and told his friends he was young what happened they suggested that he go home and wank i thought for sure i was not hearing this story correctly at this point my second mistake was not stopping the presentation he was so soft-spoken and matter of fact that i had not caught on to where the story was headed he then proceeds to tell the story of the first time he jerked off in the bathroom my class was in tears i had no idea what to do and sat there dumbfounded i asked him why he would share something so personal jay responds that a narrative is a story and personal means something you wouldn't want to share made sense to him i ended the class with what happens in fifth period stays in fifth period students asked all the time what happened in fifth period but as far as i knew no one shared i guess you just broke your own rule then period five is meant to be classified funny story though once the teacher asked us to do problems one to ten for homework one of my friends did problems one two and ten thinking the teacher said one two ten instead of one to ten hey that's better than me in third grade i wasn't paying attention so when the teacher said do pages 260 problems 130 and 45.50 i did all the problems on pages 130 and 45 50 and 260 in my math book it was a rough night this happened in my first or second grade class we were given black construction paper and chalk and told to make a skeleton on the paper with the chalk one of the kids started having some difficulty with the task and the teacher along with the rest of us realized he was gluing chalk in the shape of a skeleton onto the paper and had run out of chalk pieces to be fair make is different than draw art class teacher wanted 12 thumbnail sketches small rough idea of the picture of our ideas for a painting one girl drew her thumbnail 12 times please tell me her final painting was thumbnails in first grade we were assigned to go home and answer a few questions on loose leaf not knowing exactly what that was i wondered about the words near my home searching for leaves big enough for my writing my mom's reaction when she asked why i was writing on leaves was priceless not a teacher but in college i was in a classical mythology class and we had to read the metamorphosis by avid an ancient text which puts together a bunch of myths into a cohesive story instead some kid in my class read the metamorphosis by kafka a 1914 short story about a guy who turns into a cockroach before class i overheard him talking to his friends yet i actually did the whole reading but why did we have to read it for this class dude just turns into a bug it was weird at least he didn't read the second century latin novel appelius metamorphoses all i remember from that one is donkey freaking this one girl last year did an assignment on hawaii when the assignment was iceland she mixed up ireland and iceland and thought she could choose any island live in iceland can confirm it's practically the same place as hawaii both are located on geothermal hotspots and are surrounded by an ocean was a teaching assistant for a food and culture course one of our assignments was for students to go to an area where people were interacting with or eating food with other people and basically make some observations and answer some questions from a worksheet about people's behavior and its relevance to human culture so this could be something like a farmer's market a pizza joint or the meeting of the mycological society of america my favorite entry in each case we asked that the students make observations of the surrounding for an hour and 15 minutes we had a pretty broad level of acceptance for what would be an appropriate setting one student completely misunderstood the point of the assignment and ended up as far as i can tell observing two potatoes for over an hour the first half of the assignment was describing these observations the second half was in answer to the final question of the assignment which is something like say you got funding to investigate the relationships between people and food further what would you study for this answer he ended up copying and pasting the description of a youtube video on potato life hacks remove tarnish from your silverware by first boiling a couple of potatoes remove the potatoes and set your silverware in the water for one hour then wash and rinse the silverware potatoes can clean silver why hold a floral arrangement in place by cutting a potato in half lengthwise and placing it cut side down poke holes in the potato with the scratch or screwdriver where you want the flowers to go and then insert the stems what is the advantage so yeah slight misinterpretation i hope you are not too late to the party for people to read this i was dying please tell me what their observations of the two potatoes were like i was the student unfortunately took an intro to theater class in college the professor randomly assigned us theater-related topics and dates for individual presentations i knew i'd be absent on my assigned date so he asked me to switch dates and topics with another student one student agreed to switch with me and when i ask for his topic he says minstrel theater only i wasn't yet familiar with the word minstrel so i thought he said menstrual as in menstruation i thought the topic odd but who was i to know i knew little of theater and for all i knew there was an entire genre of plays about menstruation so i put the project off until literally the morning of the presentation it was a 10 minute oral presentation with no sources required so i figured i'd do a quick wikipedia read and memorize a little speech in no time only there was no wikipedia page on menstrual theater i dismissed it thinking the genre hadn't quite taken off enough yet enough to learn a wikipedia page and moved to a google search on menstrual theater i was surprised to find very little on the subject my most common results were references to the vagina monologues which wasn't great but it was something now i'm 15 minutes before class and i've got nothing on my subject except a lot of reviews and articles on the vagina monologues i suck it up and write the presentation my name is called to the front of the class and i announce my presentation on menstrual theatre the most famous play in menstrual theater today is probably the vagina monologues i begin and i notice my professor looks horrified already but i continue i summarize tvm and still have five minutes left so i go into speech about the importance of menstrual theater to women's rights for obvious reasons i finish and sit down and the professor walks silently and confused to the front of the room your topic was minstrel theater he says right then why in god's name did you spend your entire presentation talking about the vagina monologues and women's rights i'm turning red and the whole class is looking at me and i say it was a tough topic that was the only play i could find that mentioned anything about menstruation the professor was silent for a moment then it clicked and he burst into level crazy person laugh a pretty sure he talks about me to students to this day i am that guy in a very embarrassing context i think this definitely rivals the king objection story you just made me snort laugh so hard i'm crying all over again thanks needed this when i was in the fourth grade my teacher told the class to write in complete sentences for our first homework assignment i heard it as in complete sentences i purposely made all my sentences fragments the teacher was neither impressed nor did she believe me remember to write in complete sentences i was teaching a college history class and the students were assigned a book called lieutenant none about a woman who fled spain for the new world dressed as a man and live the rest of her life as a man it's about 100 pages and takes about an hour to read if you are focused one of my students bought the book online from half.com or something like that and ended up reading 300 pages of dense feminist philosophy about gender roles in the 16th century if nothing else he had some very interesting contributions to our discussion that day kind of similar my friend in college was assigned the little prince instead he grabbed a copy of the prince i think he went ahead with the assignment i gave students a list of vocabulary words to look up and define for homework two of the words were atheist and polytheist well i don't know where the miscommunication arose but one student did not define either instead they wrote polyavist one who doesn't believe in many gods i mean they weren't wrong monopolygamy the practice of taking mustachioed man with top hat as a spouse there was an interesting student i had called andy from hong kong he never took anything seriously and could only put varian adjectives together very handsome for example i asked andy's class to write me a cover letter for a job andy's response went something like this i handsome i 1.7 centimeters long have good body strong legs nice face i want job mcdonald's i once asked his friend also from hong kong if andy was just as wack in cantonese he replied oh heck yeah he's extremely stupid called andy from hong kong i like to imagine that andy from hong kong was his functional name and here is our new student andy from hong kong it's like richard of normandy in my science class we started a project last week where they had to make a poster of a cell analogy that they came up with for example someone made a city because the town hall is like the nucleus a power plant is like the mitochondria etc one girl just could not come up with anything i gave her a bunch of examples and then let her think about it when i came back to check on her she said i'm making a sandwich i was like okay but that might be kind of tough did you think about the parts of the sandwich that match up with cell organelles what is the mitochondria of the sandwich she was like okay i'll pick something else i get back to get a few minutes later and i ask her and now she's making a taco i explained the same thing over the course of two days while most other students started drawing she suggested a british phone booth a cell phone sonic the hedgehog a pizza and a taco bell for each suggestion i said that she could do it as long as she matched each part to an organelle and she'd say oh yeah because she forgot that i wasn't just letting her draw random stuff near the end of the period on friday i went to her and said look let me help you draw an island and i explained half of the organelles for her and even started sketching stuff out she nodded and agreed to do that today i gave her a poster board and then went to check on her she said she didn't want to do the island and started drawing a bowling alley with random parts labelled as organelles without even thinking about the functions i don't even care anymore everyone knows that the cuiso is the powerhouse of the taco i have browsed different subreddits for the past year but made an account just to post my worst misinterpretation of all time in fourth grade we were assigned a project about important events in the past 100 years once i completed this project on a certain individual that i was assigned we were given another project historical figures we were supposed to do research and dress up as this individual i asked my teacher if i could just do the person i was assigned in the previous assignment and without remembering or looking who my person was she said yes i was pumped i had already done the research assignments and only needed to dress up as this person my parents helped me put the costume together the night before and i was all prepared that next day i walk into school and head to the library where we were all meeting to show off our costumes i walk in as adolf hitler i see a banner important figures over the past 100 years as a quiet kid i didn't leave but i didn't say anything the rest of the day i guess i had missed the part where this figure for our second project was to be a hero but no one had specifically stated this all my friends were dressed up as presidents or war heroes or whatever and here i was dressed as hitler all day i have never had so many talks with other people's parents about the holocaust and how bad it was i was too nervous to explain myself and still cringe when i think about how that looked my parents didn't think it was odd that i had to dress up as hitler since this project sounded almost the same as the first one and my teacher never liked explaining anything at length to me now that i think about this i bet she set me up not a teacher but when i was in grade school i had basic math problems assigned to take home my parents did not speak english so i would do my homework as best i could the question would ask what is the difference between eight and five instead of answering three i would describe that eight was bigger even and had more circles while five was odd and smaller i don't remember who or when someone corrected me not a teacher but the story is still worth telling in high school we took quiz on hamlet our teacher told us if you get confused remember the story is just like the lion king one of the questions asked how hamlet's uncle died someone answered that he was thrown off a cliff and eating alive by hyenas i have never seen a teacher look so disappointed in high school english we were reading shakespeare's merchant of venice one of the central themes of the book was about class wealth struggle the teacher asked us to write a weekly short essay with a viewpoint from a different class a friend of mine who always pays half attention ended up turning in a paper from world history class on a semi-related subject the funny thing is he got the paper back with a check mark meaning the assignment was complete this info spread across the class and people started turning in a few random papers to test the theory that the teacher wasn't actually reading the assignments before you know it half the class started turning in random crap everyone getting check marks back it got so ridiculous that people weren't even turning in coherent sentences this went on for about nearly two months until one day when the teacher was about to give the graded papers back she noticed one of the papers wasn't quite right she proceeded to read through it and that's when half the class knew we were screwed she called out the perpetrator's name and started reading out loud his writing it literally was the grass is sort of green the sky is really blue dirt on the floor filled the ground ice cream tastes good i have to admit it was really hard for some of us to control our laughter she then looked at the next paper then the next then the next all of them were ridiculously off topic she flipped started yelling and pounding the desk with her fists she went through and gave zeroes to half the class thank god i turned in an actual legit paper that day as i had started getting paranoid about it when i realized too many students were doing it tl dr misinterpreted assignment gave kids the idea to turn in bs work for two months were air back in high school my teacher told us this story several years earlier he'd been teaching an english class and a paper was due he reminded his students to make the titles of their papers interesting sure enough he received a paper entitled teenage ninja s from heck the body of the paper was perfectly appropriate and academic he's subsequently reminded students to make their titles interesting and relevant to the subject matter within gave grade 2 stroke 3 students an activity where they had to draw foods from every food group when i went around checking i noticed one student had some odd things in his sections for grains i asked him what he drew and he told me letters and spinach when i asked why he thought those were grains his face went white and he said you mean that doesn't say greens it was adorable my family moved from washington state to texas a few months into third grade i got assigned to a reading group for the longest time i didn't understand why my group was the grain group and all the other groups were named after colors one day it just dawned on me the teacher had an accent and i was in the green group i'm not a teacher but i can recall a glorious incident from high school involving a classmate of mine picture it personal purcellville virginia 2001 our us history teacher asked us to choose a president that we wanted to write a short paper on using only the school library reference books the girl next to me in class chose george washington when she didn't hand in her paper the teacher asked why her reply was that all of the information she could find in our library was about george washington not george washington she wasn't kidding in high school our ap history teacher would pronounce seceded or succeeded needless to say half of our class thought the south won the civil war math teacher when i asked a student to show his work for a math problem he actually sent me an email with a picture a picture of him writing the answer on a piece of paper smartest not a teacher but the student when i was in my first year of college my writing class assignment was to write an objective essay regarding dr king's movement being an idiot and not thinking clearly i thought the professor meant to be objective similar to a lawyer objecting something during a court case in the end i wrote a completely racist paper and received a zero i had to explain myself to the dean the next day as well i still cringe every time i think about that class for a professional writing class i had an assignment where i had students set up a professional website using wix the point was to show them how easy doing that and then spending a small amount of money to host it under your own url which i didn't require i just showed them the steps would give you a professional looking website one of my students somehow got it in his head that the website was supposed to be a fictional project and not actually about them so he made a professional website for a cat named mittens including a fake professional profile and resume skills include laying in the sun and knocking things off of countertops he was really embarrassed when i told him that the website was supposed to be about his professional experience i'm an adjunct instructor and i've done a lot of teaching at community colleges and tech schools most of what i teach at these institutions are remedial classes for incoming students who test poorly on their placement exams in spite of this many if not most of my students are bright and eager and willing to put in the work even if their dedication sometimes takes them in the wrong direction so this past spring i was teaching one of these classes and the final assignment is a research paper on your chosen career it's a longer version of what i want to be when i grow up in appa format at five to six pages it's usually the longest thing my students have ever had to write so we spend a lot of time working out different organizational patterns that will lend themselves well to this particular topic mostly i ask them questions to help them generate and arrange their ideas what does this job entail what are the daily tasks associated with this job what kind of career mobility are you looking for what steps do you need to take in order to achieve the career of your dreams well sometimes students will zero in on one part of an assignment and completely forget about the other requirements happens all the time in this instance i had a student focus only on that last question completely forgetting the rest of them so in a class full of future nurses and i t professionals i had one guy write a 10-page paper using the required five sources all cited correctly on how to become the freaking batman did he though not a teacher but in my computer science class we were learning about making graphics in java and we were told to try to make a checkerboard pattern a student who doesn't pay much attention but he's great at coding only heard the chequers part he goes off to research on his own how to make a full checkers game and turns it in he asked why he had us do all of that learning and coding by ourselves needless to say he was a little grumpy when he found out it was just supposed to just be the pattern the checkers game worked well though well if he made a game of checkers then i'm assuming he also made the checkerboard so technically he did the assignment oh thought of another one my professor at uni told us about a time he assigned an essay on the male gaze in film got an essay back about the male gaze in film my mom was a history prof at a local college of questionable academic quality one of her students turned in a five-page paper on the historical significance of that classic book uncle tom's cabinet handwritten can't blame or to correct for this one a teacher whose first language wasn't english asked us to submit an assignment in distinct pieces of paper meaning well that the each of the two parts should be in its own sheet of paper guy next to me turns into pieces of differently colored differently sized pieces of paper an organ student i once taught misunderstood when i told him it was generally okay for him to practice in church most anytime as long as it was quiet enough so as not to interfere with the minister when he was present one sunday in summer he was substituting in a church and started to practice the closing him on a soft stop while the minister was preaching the sermon thinking it would be okay because it was relatively quiet and of course he was asked to silence his organ playing as it was in competition with the spoken word when my bio teacher was in college the students were told to bring in a stool sample for analysis each student figured out to bring in a piece of their own crap in a baby food jar or similar small container all except one student who crap it a 1.5 gallon glass jug just opening attempted the room the student who may or may not have been freaking with everyone then accidentally tipped his crap bomb onto the floor i was an english teacher in japan about 10 years ago i worked with a japanese person who was their primary teacher i was mostly there to provide native pronunciations and to kinda make it more fun i guess i rotated around to different locations but the particular place i'm thinking of was a middle school second or third year class once every month or two we'd do an in-class writing assignment usually they understood the prompt and the difficulty was in just expressing themselves in a foreign language i get that it's hard this prompt was describe your perfect day it's meant to be about four or five sentences long at the other teacher's suggestion i gave a sample of my perfect day which was something like i went to mercury by train i ate delicious steak at outback steakhouse i met yuki kejira i asked her out and we went on a date you know simple enough to understand but a little outlandish i doubt composer mays kj euro would actually want to date me since it's supposed to be perfect we talked a little in class about who she was a lot of the kids were interested that she was the composer for zonosaga some data waretzek some didn't care a few kids got the gist of what they were supposed to write the majority though just described a day i don't know how this failed to get across but i had responses like i woke up at 7 53 am i ate breakfast with rice actually i'm cleaning this up a bit as i recall that one kid spelled it bach felst and lice gross kid don't eat lice and i woke up i went to school i went home i did tax seriously kid your perfect day is doing your taxes overall they were mostly pretty decent sentences i guess but i don't know how they conceive of an utterly regular day as being perfect it didn't seem to be a cultural thing either i conferred with the other teacher about this she too thought it was weird if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot Studios

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Keywords: best school moments, best school fight moments, best school bus moments, best funny school moments, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub, reddit stories 2021

Id: Y-LZeuD2jK8

Length: 205min 17sec (12317 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 05 2021