$2,000,000 BUT...

and they're very smart and they wash their hands in each video there's a wedding yeah [Music] million dollars but anytime you see a child you have to stick your hand in the nearest toilet yep [Music] million dollars but million dollars but million dollars but you suddenly wake up in the middle of a random surgical procedure Oh shall we do a minute of free debates oh yeah your ass comes out of your ass I [Music] don't question the answer isn't is the anus a genital [Music] welcome to another boarding after my friends hey guys Tanner's here oh hi normally Tanner sits right here give me a little little sway over here no right there right in front of Tim Tim still over there that's a nice pose Tim but cameras normally right on the floor you know they don't give me cheers well you got one today so there you go I'm King in the castle King in the castle all right why don't you start off as our judge okay I'll judge you million dollars but any time you see a child which is a lot cuz I'm a ballet teacher yeah and I see them children's a lot okay other question the answer isn't is the Amos a general general I have nothing to do with pleasure they have to do it well transmission of genes gene yeah genitals have something to do with reproduction you don't reproduce out of the anus okay million dollars but anytime you see a child you have to stick your hand in the nearest toilet nope that's gross folks but every time you see a child you suddenly wake up in the middle of a random surgical procedure but every time you see a child one of your family members will make global news for doing something really effing stupid oh yeah Oh million dollars but every time you see a child you lose your most recent purchase oh she loves that she's a minimalist yeah but think about it like this if you bought your food it would just disappear out of your body driven what's your million dollars but you have to rub ghost peppers on your genitals that's why I was asking it all comes around oh yeah so now I guess we can make a little case for on cards brief little sentence or two and why that would suck nearest toilet it could be anywhere it could be a beach toilet it could be the one toilet in the entire area toilet and it would be the men's toilet the closer and closer men's bloop is worse than like women's I don't know yeah ours is now a nurse comes out stink and cylindrical you wake up randomly in the middle of a surgical procedure fun fact I have a thing on my arm called a gangly on it's a cyst they were going to remove it but they would not put me under any form of anesthesia they were just going to slice into my arm remove this and cut all the little tendons I wouldn't be under anesthesia for that which means that if you were under anesthesia it would be a very serious medical procedure and every time you see a child you will be back on that operating table paralyzed fully awake feeling em yeah yeah man I've seen that Hayden Christensen movie just inject a heart in an hour he'll be dead and we'll be rich wait wait wait what every time you see a child one of your family members does something stupid that makes global news we're not talking like a five o'clock news segment or like watch this guy fall down off the second little bit of this ladder yuck-yuck-yuck no this is seriously stupid global news and I know if you put yourself in those shoes if you made a mistake and your parents saw it on the news how ashamed you would be ya know you know that's my family I'm a lot more selfish and I don't want to be waking up from surgeries all the time I think this card is gonna go to Bo's [Applause] that's already happened to me today because I had ghost pepper sauce I'm spilling it hey that's our you my reality that's not a million dollars but every time you see someone in recognize you recognize in public million dollars but every time you see someone you recognize in public joven your anus prolapses and if you don't know what that is don't look it up a million dollars but every time you see someone you know in public someone go first through everything in your bedroom it's someone it's a gonna be just your wife ever know things every time you see someone you know in public you must bathe and rotting onions and cat pee already happened yeah it's hands every time you see somebody recognized in public you must replace the lead performer in the next stage play or concert in your area includes elementary school plays and joven every time you see someone you recognize in public one of your creative ideas gets stolen and becomes extremely successful oh no that was a blank fill in your own car yeah that was a good one less shall we do a minute of free debates oh yeah your ass comes out of your ass what do I got after that um everything you don't even know what they've touched there's everything there touched it oh do you ever think about this I live in Los Angeles all the smallish boys joven smells the best he does he actually puts on a little Cologne or game because I don't smell man cares about how he looks and how he smells now finally have me and now you smell like one of those cat people and everyone's gonna think you're a cat guy hey cat yeah think of every rappy piece of theater that's taking place in like hey this is the second storey above a convenience store and we only had one week to rehearse but please come and support the one-man show you are now in all of that everything starts getting bad reviews all at once because you haven't had a chance to rehearse and you just wing it every night I will admit I have a reoccurring dream that it's not always the same recurring dream but it is a stress string that I have where I need to go onstage and perform like an old play I have a seventh Ward from like think about like I'm about to go onstage and it's like it's one of the most terrifying dreams that I wish I'm sure ya know so joven mm-hmm you were very possessive doing the creative ideas and I know how much work you put into them so imagine putting all of that work into a project getting really really excited about it walking out in public and then just seeing maari's face and she's excited to see you and you know that by the joven show idea i already am plan B Mari and you know three months later it always it becomes super successful and then you know if you had just hadn't gone outside 125 dollars you can trademark your show your idea your creative ideas I will sue my way to the top I don't need to be on camera [Music] I don't like your card because I don't like the Trump cards in these games where it's like oh you throw up cat pees like of course that's why I don't like your coat it's a good card that would probably win anywhere else but thank you for the compliment my natural fear nice natural but my egos too big I would love this but I would I would fail in the biggest way possible and you'd be the most working man in a city my actual fear I fart a lot I'm terrified more so than flightless birds more so than peacocks robots Anna's million dollars but whenever you hear a dog bark you get hit in the face with a flying basketball absolutely it's like oh no a loved one forgets that you exist family man million dollars but when you hear a dog bark everyone else becomes invisible for how long that sounds forever great a million dollars but every time you hear a dog bark you're soaked in sweat from head to toe just gross a wet boy million dollars but whenever you hear a dog bark you have to tell a mother that her baby is ugly having to tell them earlier that a baby is ugly because then not only am i wealthy but I get to go around making people feel bad the thing about a loved one forgetting you exist west is I know you Wes you're a family man you care a lot about your family you want to have kids of your own one day and you helped raise your brother having fun buddy if they forgot you existed 50 first dates man they gonna love you all over again unless they just get scared that I'm in the house and I'm sure most of them have done danger gonna say it but it's Christmas time you and your family are having a great time everyone's opening presents and you got them all these presents and suddenly from the distance a dog barks and everyone's gone they're gone but it all disappeared um million yeah you're sweaty okay yeah you have to tell a mother that her baby's ugly including your own wife cuz I'm a mother so imagine that you got your wife she just gave birth to your child and you gotta say hey that thing you've been putting in your body for nine months and then it's out after all that trouble is ugly I feel like baby's ugly I have seen you hit by a ball not even basketball not even in the face and it you little flash red every time later yeah getting playing basketball yeah that'll be annoying but I can wear a face mask and helmet you're me still hurt I can claim I have Tourette's because that's your wife yep you are so sweat head-to-toe sweaty sweaty in my own I'm on slip and slide I don't need to you know pay for all that water yeah you know boy everyone else becomes invisible I mean yes look you do whatever you want but I would just keep a dog around I could be the only person that stars in movies because everyone else is constantly invisible to be the only person on camera all the time because they literally couldn't film anyone else but that's the very end of the day the most important thing to me are my loved ones and if they forgot I existed I would be very very sad yes thank you just imagine a little toddler looking in your eyes your that is your son or daughter saying where's Papa but it's you you got the point already all right guys here's approached a million dollars but when it's sunny you're instantly put inside a woman less relive your own birth ball oh my god all right pretty soccer you forcefully lactate delicious milk aka the huge an invisible snail begin to slowly following you and if it ever reaches you did you die every time it's sunny you get pregnant yeah Oh million dollars but when it's sunny for one hour everyone in the city you're currently and will stop at nothing until they've hugged you so much explanation they're fighting I really do you're put inside a womb and have to relive your own birth every time it's sunny out and get Southern California is this every day every time this happens you are put inside a whoa not your mother's womb you are just murdering women because you are where we know it is probably some organically grown wound that would fit his body only beanie Oh cool there's a lot of keywords in here forcefully lactate delicious so that's almost like a superpower though if someone's like quick get that like evil man out of that windows like ha and all of a sudden this is a photo we think really Karen chick yeah right who cares we've been to a lot of conventions boy there's a lot of sweaty people mmm could you imagine a nice sunny day at San Diego comic-con all of that sweat that's wet II back you know the thing we didn't hug someone the hill too sweaty in the back here's the thing I think this is the thing about me that like I don't like touching or being touched love hard love it no no I love it when people come up in her like do you want a hug and you're like yes what I don't like is invasion of personal space without any warning if someone comes over and I'm like that headphones on it's just like hey pal we're gonna be we're gonna be filming you know what's an invasion of your space a baby in your stomach every time it's celery and then you have it for nine months record we'll see that's just that's a side effect of the back usually yeah when you're pregnant you are forcefully lactating what is worse than personal bubble space except an invisible snail that you have no idea where it's at actively trying to murder you I think I've made my decision you guys see yours is pretty good Tanner until you realize it's just a metaphor for death in general it's always out there you never know when it's gonna get you but it's invisible so you know what that's what we're already dealing with the forceful lactation is pretty rough but I do think I need to turn it into a business however I've never actually come to terms with the idea of being pregnant and the thought of that just now like not having the choice on whether or not to be pregnant it just happens the idea of being pregnant having to be pregnant and that would be every nine months because of how often that would happen I just I can't do it I don't want to live my life pregnant that would not be fair to the child either there's too many things I want to do like extreme sports so I'm gonna give it to Mary mari scart I would have argued for Maria's cards like if it's sunny multiple days in a row you would have like you would get pregnant with another the same time million dollars but when you walk up a staircase a Rhino charges out of the nearest bush straight at you hope you don't like that house you're living at hey Brooke alright okay when you walk up a staircase you shed all of your skin what a snake Oh God million dollars but every time you go up the stairs I don't really know this means you become a little bit more like a raccoon no just a little bit more if she stops coming upstairs like halfway through though you could just be rocket I don't know Rocket Raccoon it's from a movie uh Justice League my card says you have to take two shots of horse urine cat pee horse your and you guys got similar cards for each other like it add something every time you walk drinking it you're not allowed to use any makeup for a week and people really like taking close-up photographs of you ah Oh another pose I know you you're somebody that likes to always be building towards something always making a better life for yourself whether it's career personal stuff eventually you're gonna want a home of some kind whether it's condo whatever if you go upstairs in your own home in a rhino charges at you it's not that it's necessarily gonna get you but it's gonna do some real damage to your home and staircase and probably family so it was a wrestler or not I'm riding the animal riding the villain is another skin Avengers World of Tomorrow and when someone looks at you on these stairs they just see like I don't know I kind of like my card cuz it's a little adorable cuz you become a little bit more raccoons I don't know what that means maybe it's just the hands maybe you go full record but then somebody would cage you you might not have a voice anymore and you just go like a raccoon probably does this is kind of a cute car but at the same guy it might be horrifying every time you walk up any stairs you cannot wear makeup for a week and people really like taking up-close photos of you I know this is one of your number one yes okay I know how anxious this makes both start with West's cuz you just did it actually about a year ago this would have been for sure my card okay but I hate myself as much anymore all the time without makeup on some people may not make eye contact with me when I do but that's fun that's fine also I have an unfair advantage in here which one we'll get to in a minute and it's when I walk up a staircase I generally take an escalator or I take an elevator and that's what you can do a lot of times so it does add an anxiety to me that I have to choose the times that I take a staircase for very carefully now this one if you have gone about the angle then I like to plan my life daily and I don't know when this is gonna happen that well I guess when I want off the stairs but that that I don't like that I'll like that what this makes good busting yeah like you guys are like oh you'll have great scamper it's like no I feel like human skin doesn't come back when you peel away human flesh it does not tell me about this is [ __ ] yeah it is awful don't wait to open moves yours of course it's not that bad here's my problem with this coming up as a child was watching the fly watching him slowly turn into a fly so with my anxiety I see a staircase and I'm like I have to take that those stairs go to this meeting I'm like but I'll become a little bit more like a raccoon I don't know how much more of a raccoon I'm gonna become every time I take the stairs I take this there and I'm like okay maybe I can just get away with it like this one time that like when I start getting fur and I can't take any more stairs so it's adding anxiety of decision-making and also my worst fear ever which is humming becoming an animal and once I'm in a cage I'm just million dollars but whatever you witness a photo display of affection public display of affection you grow a unibrow any PDA everyone a felon with a life sentence for violent crimes is released from prison he's not coming after you he's now looking for you so you're saying this is on me for witnessing yeah it's yeah you see PDA a violent crime felon is released oh my gosh the Scarecrow is gonna be out again I got a simple one like waiting whenever you witness that public display affection you're gonna be like oh do it this like oh my god why is this happening because you get pinkeye gross don't worry to scratch your button sorry tanner every time you witness a public display of affection you have to tell your parents about your last sexual encounter in detail that's not a problem he doesn't have sex or appearance sorry buddy you grow a unibrow you shave that off right yeah you're on set you're on set they've got your all done up you got this acting career you got the tagging gig of your dreams you're on set and you're ready for your scene I'm right for the scene you see two people making whoopee and it just grows in what is there's a mention that it is public and never affected they make whoopee and suddenly it gets because of the magnitude of the thing it grows it big and they're like you the director stops and says we got to shave them again dude we should just let them go this is ridiculous he never told us about this this is all fake every single time we're not the man thing I heard - I bet there's a sure try you can work along absolutely like I I is it clean burn with hatred for people who do baby talk to like two significant others or acne it is the most infuriating thing did somebody make a stinky I'm sorry I'm sorry that you feel uncomfortable in the situation we're trying join your 1 million dollars that many dollars and you live in Los Angeles that's just 1 million dollars there are violent felons being released into the public where they can kill and hurt and scar again try try to enjoy your life when others are just random strangers that you may not know like dying violently but I don't know them you might not know Wow Angelababy anyway never you look at something a public display of affection you just get crap in your eye like you literally get all right thank I but I would just write it off as allergy good I'm allergic people just walk by me like that's conjunctivitis I know it you know you don't know me eyes that are Pinker a huge bummer and whatnot but think I want you to think about your most intense sexual fantasy just the one that you go to you already know what it is yes it feels like a bag of sand here's my thing with Damien yeah I have a very close relationship with both my parent how close I probably that close means doing this already yeah I am open especially with my dad about anything are you sex talks yeah I hoping that you had sex is detail like we're talking details here whatever even those dirty deets but they're my parents they've done some dirty dirty stuff in their day like I've talked to my dad about moving on felons which one's the most violent crime the most fun once of 13 ghosts of fellows yes yeah okay look maari's card go to give you tomorrow I'm going to murder you under my skin see inside my bone marrow I used to have recurring dreams of people treating me like a kid like an infant when I was saying the answers the correct answers to like a jeopardy show and I didn't understand why that was a nightmare for me but that was my recurring nightmare so it's not weird it is like so I just projected my nightmares onto you and hoped that you would have the same nightmares and we do yes I hate it so much it is annoying Mario wins this round you guys that has been poured a F without winner Mari takahashi baby daddy's been on board AF with the win oh ma we talked I shan't N or the special Sundays whenever you want we thought of us we Tanner actually what is the dicey situation situation oh my god what you have to call him ugly because you're mean and you call people's babies ugly babies ugly adult diapers perfect oh it depends yeah it depends it's an adult diapers do alright guys thank you for watching a million dollars but I will give you 1 million dollars but you have to click that like and subscribe button if you want to watch the last board a up make sure to click on the box on the left to see spy fall and if you want something special YouTube picked out just for you [Music]

Channel: Smosh Games

Views: 690,721

Rating: 4.9573803 out of 5

Keywords: $1000000, $1m, $1million, 1 million dollars, 1 million, million dollars but, 1 million dollars but, 1 million dollars but smosh, rooster teeth, rooster teeth board game, rooster teeth game, smosh, smosh games, smosh pit, board af, board games, smosh board games, card games, smosh million dollars, smosh 10000 dollars but, bored af

Id: f-xobuI5r_Q

Length: 27min 11sec (1631 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 30 2018