MATPAT HIRES SMOSH GAMES!

[Music] [Music] from the game we've got mad and stuff we're playing funemployed the game that every millennial can get behind [Laughter] so the way this game works is we're all applying for a job the employer one person at a time we'll go ahead and find the job that everyone's really competing for and we're going to be drawing some cards we're gonna draw five cards each person and that's gonna eventually become your resume and and there's ten cards that we'll have in the center everyone all at once will flip through the cards and trade them back and forth keeping ten in the center and you're trying to make the four best possible cards in your hand with one card you're in use that screw over your friends resume you guys know how how game bang works there's punishments yes and now we've got a we love bonus mags normally it's a lot more epic in post will add sound effects and stuff house mints are gonna work is we're gonna do one round across and whoever didn't get a job well we're gonna spin the wheel and you're gonna be part of the punishment oh boy isn't the punishment just destitution in poverty oh there's actually one on there where we give you guys bulk using us to kill someone alright so I don't anything boy first longer section that is that one who is turned on by two-by-fours beckoning is that Canadian it's people with the big beards you're constantly wearing flannel you're a bigger guy here is the job that you guys are applying for thank you applicants for coming in for sexual please my god and I'm a cannibal means I won't eat any of the meat in your store I don't know if that's a good thing you know if there's something that's gonna know me it's gonna be Kenny you got it yeah I'm not I'm not eating the meat that I'm selling they're selling there we caught up in there there we go we are crossing the cards to the left so Bo's do you have an extra item for West's resume you gotta share a blank card and you chose butcher ever oh my boy with communal fish he just likes hanging out with fish who does that you eat people when you open up operations there we go not bad map at all right I got this tell me how you're the best butcher for the job I got this I'm educated but not overly educated I've got my associates too good I'm also a macho man also got the gun to cut the meat you'd be a butch butcher [Applause] also I'm gonna cut the meat real well because I'm obsessive-compulsive good oh these things for cuts and OCD and last but not least I own a cattle farm I got counts for days you do have cows for days but unfortunately I also saw on your resume that you have really good time three times and do you wanna you want to come down with me pod we could do some shots it's not bad we have shot meets and shots me too that's okay like hiring people nice to be my friend you can never take that on movie night hey ma I'm gonna tell you now your chances of winning now looking good all kinds of bad cards you know we're gonna we're gonna start with this butchers gun man bud keeps everything up you know what no no Haran in the meat legally have to wear uh you know that that good sports a man bun khal drogo are you you drink out story look like this man bun toting butcher is also very liberal so he's gonna get along with you no no that's the worst she's probably out there protesting the fact that the beef is like hormones in smaller potatoes mistake look bigger I know you got a tattoo Chinese characters you and you even know says so this can got fifty tattoos oh so you're you're a tattooed liberal with a giant package and what how do you have a man bun this card it's you know what I did the assignment wrong I just I just created my dream man I think especially if your dream man is a Mormon I don't need the job I just want this man I hope you bring something better to the table okay ultimate like the ultimate butcher package and not please the whole package juice you already know what's going in a good direction because I am a lumbersexual so I'm getting out into nature I'm wearing the plaid I'm getting to know the meat before I'm shocked you know doing them doing the butcher shop I Lauren all the customers with my million-dollar smile New York and Boston accent goodbye didn't like that I tried some I'm also doing a really good job because I'm trapping all the meat with nunchucks yeah it's like butchering and a show oh man I got someone here applying for a job that doesn't know what a blunt object is like an open window and there was a [Applause] and no one has to hear all the slaughtering going on they also have a sound million-dollar smile though sure this butchers getting scary kill room [Applause] I'm very you beautiful handsome hi there this is the butcher shop and I am a I know I really believe it's important that we build our clientele I am a calendar model so the women okay wait what is okay you know some artists sing and you know what if we go and take it far it's gonna be look good and be a calendar model but how attractive is he once you find out he has rampant irritable bowel syndrome through I'm just OH bathroom the entire time works all over the place which from IBS its problem mrs. e.coli what have you seen him he looks so pretty do you bring something better to the table yes temper one more interview week okay my name is vladislav Gladys love I'm [Laughter] describing the job just describing herself I mean it's a bit redundant Russian my qualifications are not enough for employment I also have applied at many jobs and I've been rejected I haven't been employed for over two years [Laughter] for why I heard you guys are still in my place of business and I have to do this publicly I am intrigued by a butcher who uses nunchucks I would say and your morality had me momentarily until you left half way through to use the restroom you know I gotta say the job is gonna go to Wesley [Applause] man is good with knifes that is 95% of our job he's good with knives meet you he's gonna kill you and eat you oh I can't forget about cannibalism able to oversee it it was an oversight on my part because he is a good candidate he's got a face yes Wes has won that round you are now the new employer we're gonna pitch you us and hopefully get a job to you us all right everyone I'm a world-famous photographer and I require a beautiful model first and foremost what is the biggest qualification when it comes to being a model uh-huh I am rich oh did you start off with that card it was that card in the pile that that card was I started with that okay yeah so I've had that that that was from the book panic I got born rants Wow meant to be not only then but also you know you want to hire me because you kind of have to affirmative action call also you know if you're looking for models you're looking for a lot of creative interesting talents and positions I'm a pro flute blower which you know in the modeling industry may apply in multiple ways and last but not least I also got a killer action figure collection oh yeah yes example Mauri STD it's all me down Bulldogs I'm blowing it does he's all over the face today let's just focus on the ripped all right okay well this models got yoga pants on already says she's ready to go I mean that you know she's already got a nice body she's gonna be rocking yoga pants early yeah so whatever you're gonna you're gonna put her through she'll be patient and get get through it spiders they work with a lot of animals they're put into crazy situations they've done skydiving photoshoots she's very patient pretty skydiving I don't know she sounds boring catchy blow a flute doesn't person own a private jet no bottles you need to use all their senses on the job but Mari has no sense of smell actually I forgot to pick up a really bad job everyone knows that the best models are lunch and I have a French accent European women that they don't shave their armpits just saying it's a stereotype not my own opinion don't get triggered no matter how high the heels or how tight the dress she keeps her poker face and you know does that does this the snide no and all that black face it's I like people to smile am i but she has an addictive personality for modeling you gave her love you smell but you can't addictive personality really in touch with the latest trends like vegan underwear you mentioned your poker face in my life that's real great but it's just you lacking range back to the stroke the vegan stroke model it's like implied it for protection hello the of wit blanston nice to meet you maybe you notice that first time speech impediment it does not affect when we're taking pictures I can do you know it's awesome you know really I can take the shoes off but I'm also wearing a suit because I'm a spy and if you don't give me the job you will not get the antidote always picking the wrong face tomorrow alright I'm just gonna get straight to the point you guys talk about all your like inner qualities and stuff but like I'm a model like let's just get straight to the point boom squats I got a nice booty two balls got huge sack three stamp you with it I'm with it so confused by your person madness nice firm rump huge ball sack stamp and I'm gonna top it all off with braces so you can photograph them from like boobs to knees nerd girl you have a little of all types of models in you including paraplegic models because you're stuck in a wheelchair hey y'all skewness you the best hand that you could possibly have there you go I think legally I have to hire you you all these models I don't know if you knew this but alternative models are on the rise I got dem piercings let me tell you one of you want to see a suicide girl right here you can pay me jack cuz I'm already filthy rich I just like working and I do it for the art and because I have daddy issues oh hey what is the best quality in a model I'm just playing stupid also do you need a place to shoot because we can shoot in my sex dungeon weird thing you have a sex bed when you're permanently equipped with a chastity but I will be featured all over the interweb if I go with the French all right let's keep this let's keep this train going no ladies okay here's the deal the special squad of our professional cheerleading cheerleaders right I can work with all of the girls because of links with you I just wanna athletic things let's get the subtle right right right now we need uniforms I got trust fund money baby we can do this we can party with the rum that my family has because I'm and I just want to let you all know you know I'm here for you and I hear all of you I hear you okay you might be spirit in all that but you shady as hell shady [Laughter] very handy not just the big holes and stuff they're like I'll stay with my pom-poms oh I got a short attention span so I felt like I'd fit in with the rest of the team but you know it's something that we can all work on together you know like bonding Laurie said hello also you know like I feel like there's got to be a girl that just gets tough down on the team and like I got a sawed-off shotgun took a different turn where is this lollipop chainsaw night right for the team because is it the spirit of Xenu that's all I want to know sucks but my spirit is pretty good so yes I'll hang out with you and when we're done with rehearsals sure you can come to my dad's club afterwards family owns a club we can dance there what do you want to Oh first of all you need to know I'm aerodynamic I'm saved did we work with handcuffs at all because I kind of specialize in them I can bring my own if we need to kind of like emo and my god I don't want to hear you just me I'll do anything I have zero shame shame to be better than you and your entire squad I am a little bit of a troublemaker it's good friend of mine I know that human cesspool we all know what your league is all about little popular girls club that you can little make little snide little jabs at your fellow girls females great practice I'm in so with Oh boxing he's so right so with that in mind first off sorry your hair is a little frizzy today yeah you just have issues and those pants make you look fat it does when you're also blood daddy but also hey as as lead cheerleader I understand you probably need a minion so I'm happy to be your underlay most importantly of all I can also always that's right oh my god what's this one thing at the bottom of her as a part of your sermon you know you want to do any tosses with her because she's got heavy flow everyone else I have very steel smells like iron [Applause] it was a really close race today except for you who were definitely out immediately so I think I think there's some therapy that needs to happen in this direction there big girls on the squad are really sensitive and and just can't handle your truth I'm sorry unfortunately I'm being held up by the spirited sawed-off shotgun over here and have to give it Wow for our last round where Bo's is going to be the boss Rick wants bonus you're gonna draw four cards only four cards no screwed over anyone and you aren't gonna be drawing cards from the Senate before you got it before you stuck with me Steph and West already have a card so it's just down to Jobin matt mari and flits and we're gonna be interviewing for president Oh No there's an opening don't explain why this opening we all know what happened now there's an opening and what you need to know is that you need a person like me to take this kind of position first of all my handshakes will not be in the news because my hands are clammy I don't want to spend a lot of time with my handshakes I come from Lincoln Heights that'll make sense in two seconds why because I was born on the streets you need to know someone who has got the street cred that's got book knowledge and Street knowledge on that goddamn thug life who else you won't run in this country right you know all presidents always stand for fitness yeah America is gonna slim down because I'm a president who believes in the power of squats nice watts man like I said earlier you can't spell legendary without leg day you also want me as president because I am off the chain I have a chain no dogs that is that real gold though huh who is the other superpower that were so worried about in the world these are now China thank you for bringing that off well the Chinese I'm gonna already have a great relationship with them because I also have a red panda oh really believe in nurturing endangered animals I'm helping out the red red panda population who just so happens to shed all right well you know what this president comes with an amazing buffet that's right I provide a beautiful book day every morning lunch dinner even a midnight snack the number one spot you know every president needs to be just a little bit Shady I'll live for you all be your perfect alibi anything you do I can you know I got your back and you know what you know what you need some balls to be President that's right we make some moves yes that's right it's not near the buffet yeah it's beautiful Oh God and I might be a raging alcoholic in order to have some balm gets done in the government that's right Oh God you notice I came out on a hoverboard we have we have discovered their technology I've been quiet we have the hoverboard technology I had to run under a different name I know it was a bit slimy I'm a president former president it's a business but we'll get the job done we're going to stay economy we're going to keep what the hook yes we can again because yes you can again and just so you guys know how cool I am [Applause] that was amazing raise your hand if you do not if you did not get a job today all right there are three of us that are our to spin the wheel when you're in this to the guests you don't know this but I've actually been taking ballroom classes so I got the walls down man we've wanted to let some waltz some Rumba my Foxtrot not that good you and me will you be my part I would love to be okay so we have to AB shockers here are you getting off oh it's the sweaty AB shocker so I'm gonna leave because your Lido it's just the Box step and it's all III stuff yeah that's one two three one two three sure but where's your rise and fall we'll get there okay you got to have your rise and Matthew took like four years of like advanced Latin and ballroom so sorry we'll do this fast okay there we go how you feel this is a good thing for your abs right [Applause] two three one we're rumba and we're now you sound like Lucille Ball check this way you go this way read through it no and then the Big Finish okay how dare nobody hire me for a job ah well matpat was a great sport you should go check him out on his channel the game theorist click that box to the left also last week we tried to defuse a bomb with the try guys watch it okay bye

Channel: Smosh Games

Views: 2,034,623

Rating: 4.9344015 out of 5

Keywords: game theorists, fun employed, funemployed, board games, unemployed, worst jobs, improv, cards, matpat, game theory, tabletop games, table top, card game, cards against humanity, funny moments, party games, comedy, how to play, how to play funemployed, watch it played, smosh, smosh games, game bang

Id: pEG3I8TnBOw

Length: 38min 21sec (2301 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 09 2017