2 Hour Reddit Compilation of Crazy Rules

what are the strangest house rules you've seen in a person's house my mill has some major issues one there is a room just as you walk in the house that is completely off limits it's vacuumed constantly and is a picturesque pink frilly sitting room pink carpets etc think dollars umbridge my parents brought their dog over once who is a fantastic chill dog and she put a paw on the carpet and my mill almost had an aneurysm two when my husband was growing up he and his two brothers had one hour of screen time a day tv video games whatever one hour three one bath a week if you had more than that you got screamed at the brothers would end up showering at a friend's house i had to basically train my husband out of that one for if you had too much fun doing something they wouldn't let you do it anymore it made my husband very good at lying and also very obsessive about things he enjoyed or if you had too much fun in a weekend you weren't allowed to do something fun later in the weekend that is visiting a friend's house on saturday when allowed to do anything on sunday except clean or do yard work five not allowed to argue with parents mom has a personality disorder and constantly lies dad always backs her up she will lie about what the boys were doing and say they were breaking a rule when they weren't and they couldn't argue this rule is literally pinned to their wall six they have to get the parents cards for birthdays etc but the cards are not allowed to be handmade because it's cheap this rule persists seven have to take pictures every sunday before going to church in the church outfits there are hundreds of pictures of this in the same spot in the house there are other rules i literally can't remember pick out of the piles of abuse my husband and his brothers have grown up very well adjusted insane based on this mess i had a friend growing up who wasn't allowed to plug anything in so basically anyone under 16 wasn't allowed to touch plugs at her house i think we were 10 and i was definitely allowed to plug and unplug things at my own home so this was really baffling to me growing up myself and often with other friends would do sleepovers at a buddy's house he was a bedwitter and wore diapers to bed but we were cool with it never any teasing or anything his mother would demand that we all wear diapers to bed when sleeping over which was odd but it made our buddy even more uncomfortable about his situation poor dude would apologize constantly about the fact that we had to use them too you and your buddies were some good friends very cool neighbors house for breakfast they put powdered sugar and syrup on the table for waffles i thought oh yeah i only get syrup at my house and douse the waffles with powdered sugar i pick up the syrup we only use one or the other at this house the mom says i ate dry and tasteless powder sugar covered waffles that day you chose poorly my cousins always had weird rules about which cups were acceptable to use for which beverages at their house i can't tell you how many times i would go to get a cup of water just to have one of them appear out of thin air beside me and scream that's a smoothie cup what are you doing or go to pour myself a cup of milk only to be berated for using a juice cup i've brought it up to my siblings and apparently it always made them really uncomfortable too and it's given us awesome degree of anxiety about using the kitchen at other people's houses whenever i went over to a friend's house i wasn't ever actually allowed inside instead we always hung out in a trailer that was parked right outside of his place and if we needed to use a bathroom the mother forced us to go in a bucket i live with my grandmother and our house has two bathrooms one bathroom is her bathroom exclusively and the other bathroom is everyone else's bathroom if you use her bathroom you're shunned from seeing her or being in her home for life my cousin and her three kids her great-grandchildren have been banned from seeing my grandmother ever again because we completely forgot to tell my cousin's ex-husband about the bathroom rule it's not a loss cousin and kids are better off without her straight up freaking banished i babysat for a family that locked us in the house i called my dad and he said if i felt trapped i could throw a chair through a window and he'd cover it no questions asked never babysat for them again your dad sounds like a wonderful man had a babysitter when i was about eight and my sister was five the rule was all day we had to sit on the stairs no couch no kitchen table nothing literally had to stay on the stairs the whole day which was pretty freaking uncomfortable even to my eight-year-old body and me and my sister were pretty well behaved so we did it without much question when my mom would come pick us up and started talking for what seemed like forever of course we would get to sit on the couch only years later did i realize how weird and crappy that was i was probably 10 or 11 stayed all night with a new friend for the first time her family seemed normal we had fun got up the next morning fear all four in the kitchen at the table eating cereal together so wholesome her mom gets up prepares a bowl for me super nice of her i eat it then try to be nice in return and pour my leftover milk down the sink mum stops me and hands me a partially full gallon jug no need to waste pour it in the cereal milk jug i vividly i'll recall how nauseated i was when i realized the milk i had just consumed was recycled never went back my friend's mom was a huge germaphobe so she kept bottles of hand sanitizer and a stack of napkins by the door and you had to use them before entering the house if you didn't she'd close the door in your face also she required anyone who wanted to pet a dog or cat you had to brush them before and after to help diminish any harmful human toxins do not contaminate me with your toxins human they all shed a towel after showering like one towel for everyone for one or two days when i visited i asked where the towels were so i could shower after the pool they looked at me like i had two heads explained the towel sharing situation because you're clean when you dry off so it's still clean yeah mister friends dad i don't want to dry my face after you've dried your balls on it a client of mine has three full bathrooms in their house for a family of four they all shower in the master bathroom even the two teenagers who have a fully functioning shower next to their bedrooms it's so weird to me and it's not because they don't want to clean them that's my job my friend's mom wouldn't let you have a drink at the dinner table because she didn't want you to fill up on water and not finish your food it didn't matter what it was or if you choked no liquid until after dinner she would also make you eat everything or she would save it for you to finish later or just wouldn't let you leave the table until you were done i'm a medic so we go into people's homes every day we had the cardiac arrest so we were working a man and the wife was having a fit about the mess we were making yes there was some garbage from the pads needles meds but we put all of it into our jump bag she was screaming at us about it i told her that her husband was very sick and we were doing everything we could to help she said she didn't care if he died as long as we didn't make a mess i wonder what could have possibly made the man so stressed that he had a heart attack i was yelled for quickly blurting out the question to a 200 jeopardy answer apparently they played the game quietly individually tallying scores no problem i was handed a pen and paper and i played their game i think i am doing pretty well after jeopardy in double jeopardy i ain't everyone else i wanted to impress them with my vast knowledge and high score i wager all of my money in final jeopardy because it's a category i am familiar in back from commercial soon as trebuk finished answer they all yell out what they thought was question apparently it's only the first person to yell out correct question in final jeopardy that is her wage accounts psychos i would have disowned them if they weren't family funny how this is almost the complete reverse of how normal jeopardy is played this dude that managed local bands had a rule that only vegetarians could poop in his toilet find somewhere else to poop if you eat meat sink it is then my friend's mother absolutely refuses to let guests pour their own drinks not just insisting let me pour that for you but will actually get mad if you do it yourself this doesn't apply to food e i get the poisoning and drugging stuff is mostly jokes but tbh she let us watch my grandparents had a very specific order that food should be eaten we're a big english family and tea would be served at 5 p.m or so after lunch at 1pm plates and dishes would be placed on the dining room table all at once but could only be consumed in the correct order sandwiches first then sausage rolls assorted savories then sweet foods it's only so strange because after my generation 16 of us my grandmother now couldn't give less of a crap and all the rules are out of the window especially for great grandchildren and our spouses we're just pretty bitter that we would get such a telling off for eating a sausage roll before a sandwich since now apparently you can have chocolate biscuits before 2 p.m anarchy had a friend that had to go to bed at 7pm every night because that was the bedtime for his younger siblings he was 14 his mom would flip out if he tried to stay awake any longer that mother was seeing every single cartoon before school for sure i was in a foster home from ages five to seven they were religious and the rules were as follows women couldn't cut their hair where short sleeves after five years of age could only wear dresses and night gowns even when swimming on vacation and nobody could enter the home if wearing shorts pants were fine the upside was the whole family ate dinner together every night and there was always dessert as a kid coming from a home where food was not aplenty i thought it was wonderful i've stayed in touch over the years and went through the mom's 80th birthday party last summer lots of people were there in shorts so the rules have obviously been relaxed over the years one daughter even had hair a little below her shoulders so that rule isn't enforced either i'm guessing they were pentecostal so a few years back i was at a party and a homeowner had a list of house rules on a chalkboard but the one that sort of made me double take was overnight guests are asked not to masturbate i was a little confused i mean nobody wants to think of someone else jerking it in their home in their sheets but that seems a little weird was there an incident that incited this stayed with a neighbor during a family emergency estranged grandparent was deathly ill far away and parents had to make some oh crap arrangements for child care neighbor had five kids the dad had a one tub of water for the family rule this was in a bathtub with a shower and when a normal water bill for a large family would be under forty dollars a month so i still don't get why deadwood bathe then mom then eldest to youngest guests last the water was cold dark with muck and had a greasy film of skin cells on it by my turn i was six or seven and tried to refuse but they shouted at me and i gave in i gagged the whole time seriously frick you mark you nasty butt swamp water douchebag went to a friend's house well to do kind of family straight laced all that crap the dad came home and started practicing saxophone in the front room when i asked a question my friend told me to shut up and that nobody is allowed to make any noise while his dad practiced saxophone but just as this short conversation was exchanged his dad burst through the door and told us all to shut the frick up cos whispering really put him off his saxophone playing his son my friend started to cry his dad played for three more hours we just sat in silence cos this was before mobile phones and i couldn't get collected until later that afternoon i was asked not to tell anyone else at school but enough people had been and experienced what i had experienced so everyone knew not to disturb this kid's dad when he's playing his saxophone my friend's mom was convinced that vomit corroded the pipes and could cause them to burst so we had to go puke outside if we were sick she wouldn't actually let us into the house she threw a housewarming party and we were all excited about attending but instead she herded us all into her garage and locked us in there there was a door in the garage that led into the kitchen that she would only unlock if someone wanted the bathroom but she would then escort the person to the toilet and stand outside the door until they were done take them back to the garage and lock the door again the garage was empty as well not even so much as a deck chair or box to sit on the guests did not stay long i left ananda and hour in the rest not long after she was offended after she put so much effort into having us over comma she was offended after she put so much effort into having us over you should have said a housewarming party implies we would be in the house when i was probably seven or so there was a kid down the block i think he lived with his grandparents who were weirdly strict with water no using the hose to play in during a time of sprinklers and water balloons to beat summer heat and i think remembering him saying he'd have to pay one dollar for a cup of water they now work at nestle trying to control all water in africa my dad had a strict rule no music with words i'm still wondering how beethoven's ninth ended play joe satriani and john 5 constantly for him [Music] my cousin's house when i was a kid there was a no reading during the day rule i was a bookish kid terrified of my mad uncle so i just went along with it my step-grandmother does not let anyone under 16 when she considers children sit on her furniture they have to sit on the floor it should be noted that this rule didn't apply to her biological grandchildren come up behind her and whisper in her ear when you die we're going to donate all your furniture to a daycare not sure if it counts as a house rule but i had a good friend whose family didn't drink anything while eating meals they were convinced drinking something right after chewing food would crack their teeth so i'd always be the only one with a beverage at dinner anytime i was over at their house and we would go outside and play i would have to knock on the door each time to come back in even if i had been there for a while or if i had just walked in with their kid their mother kept tabs on exactly how much i ate or drank while i was there and expected me to work for whatever they had given me i had accidentally left something by the door and i realized after i got a few steps away from their porch so i just opened the door and reached in to grab it her mother grabbed my arm and jerked me back into the house and screamed how i was a guest at their house and that i was to always knock before entering how i was a rude child she didn't care that i was just there and what i grabbed was mine etc i had known this woman my entire life we lived in the same neighborhood she knew all of my extended family and treated me like i was some stranger that was my last day playing over there i once had a sleepover party at a christian girl's house in elementary they had random pieces of duct tape on the floor in the hallway and if i remember correctly we had to jump step over them because that's when knives were dropped kinda like a superstition except i didn't get it and it still makes no sense to me to this day i grew up in mexico my school had a lot of exchange programs abroad so in ninth grade i went to boston i stayed with a guy from the hs and his dad pretty weird family but the strangest thing was that his father told me that i could not flush pancakes in the toilet he literally meant pancakes it was not a euphemism because i asked his son about it and he said yeah there was an incident once there should be a subreddit dedicated to explaining why that's a rule for audible stuff like this pictures videos etc would be very encouraged my parents for what it's worth made me go to bed at 7 00 p.m every night from the age of four until the age of 16 because i had to share a room with my kid brother to this day i also have to go to bed at 10 pm when i visit them because i have to walk through their bedroom to get to mine it's an old house another weird rule they have is about bins most people have at least a separate bin in their kitchen in their bathroom right maybe a few more all over the house just in case right wrong my parents keep just the one single min in the center of the kitchen dining room and the bin bag is changed once a week at the most i think they maybe just can't be asked to go round collecting bins and so this is their god awful solution having a period in that house was a barrel of laughs let me tell you from the ripe old age of 11 announcing to the entire house excuse me coming through used sanitary pad ready to go in the bin here out of the way dudes these days as an adult when i visit i make a huge deal out of it until they realize how awkward it is and give me a bin for the bathroom but as a 12 you know this was the most embarrassing awkward crap ever not to mention when we had guests round they would be sat in the goddamn dining room and i would be forced to shamefully walk past them into the kitchen used pad in hand to use the bin that was some trauma right there frick my current house has two bins in every room my best friend's parents did this too you would think the mom would think about that especially having a teenage daughter and another that just started her period in the home i landed a summer babysitting job when i was 15 or 16 and got yelled at because i took cheetahs doritos and pretzels and put them all in the same bowl they were snack sized bags and i'd eaten the whole bowl full but there must have been crumb evidence for sherlock mom she said we don't mix our food in this house and then she fired me soon after because she said she wasn't comfortable with me doing stuff like that around her kids little did she know that you were ahead of the curve and had created do-it-yourself munchies you are never to touch the dining table with your hands or arms however slightly or briefly you are to sit straight up on furniture you will never put your feet up sit sideways or lay down you will absolutely never nap on the couch you may sleep in your bedroom at night and that is it i don't like visiting my aunt's house very much no speaking about what was essentially a whispered volume girlfriend's father considered loud talking what the rest of us considered normal volume talking to be trashy sounds like milford man i once had a friend's mom tell me we sit down to pee in this house i guess i get it and it would have made sense other than i'm a girl how the heck did she think i took a leak standing up proud and giving a stereotypical superhero stance kids parents had surveillance cameras in every room including their kids bedrooms anytime we were in a room without a parent the surveillance camera had to be on there were many times i'd walk into the kitchen after being in the game room or my friend's bedroom and see the tv on streaming surveillance from the room i was just in it even streamed sound a friend of mine got kicked out of the house because he jokingly put a napkin over one of the cameras there were also times where if one of us said something the parents didn't like while the cameras were on they never told us when they were turned on either a parent would burst into the room and yell at us for saying something they didn't like freaking nuts that family that's when you start addressing their parents as big brother told this one couple weeks ago but me and a buddy got roped in to help a cousin move she basically sat on her fat butt all day just pointing and snorting out orders anyway we we getting ready to leave so my buddy was washing up and we were telling some of the other family by when this bee flips apparently she took the time to hang up the towels in the bathroom during us moving so my buddy used them to dry his hands but nueru you can't use those those are decorative only how dare he not only did she not even tell anyone this rule she assumed all households were this way she didn't even put usable towels in the bathroom yet i'll never understand the logic of keeping stuff like that purely for decoration once when i was eight or nine i went to a friend's house and we were playing board games on the floor while her parents sat on the couch nearby as i leaned over to reach something i farted nothing loud nothing obnoxious well crazy mum is like what was that excuse me what the absolute heck was that who did that i'm sorry my name but we do not fart in this house i'm sitting there like oh haha just waiting for her to break character and laugh or something nope she then just left the room and didn't come back friend's dad took me home later so basically their family house rule was just not to fart humans fart all the time i can't imagine how they could actually not fart they must be in constant pain what is the stupidest rule you ever had to follow no hugging apparently some girls were and i quote hugging boys to see how long it would take for them to get an erection and missing class because they were hugging their friends for too long we were in the eighth grade middle school boys get directions from salad in my public school we were told not to stand in circles at recess because it looked like we were a gang and some of the teachers feared for their lives so we stood in square shapes instead as a public school teacher we have what is referred to as desk warming where we have to come into school during vacation time to literally sit at our desks the students are gone nothing is going on our contracts only give a limited amount of vacation time so when our vacation time is up we must be back in school students or not we had chairs in our schools for two thousand dollars but they were so expensive that we weren't allowed to sit in them for a year after they were bought that sounds legally suspect i once waited tables at a restaurant where you had to show up for your shift with the dry cleaning tag still on your starched white shirt why to prove that you got your shirt starched at the cleaners and didn't do it yourself think about that for a second your shirt is ironed and starched so well that they can't tell without the cleaners tag on it doesn't matter so i had to leave school early for a cross-country meet missing gym because i missed gym i had to make it up after school one day so i missed cross-country practice the makeup gym class was to walk a mile so i missed walking a mile in order to run about three miles as fast as i can and because of that they made me walk that one mile instead of running five miles at practice the day after i was disqualified from a high school cross country race because i had a rubber band on my wrist they didn't tell me until after i crossed the finish line that was 5k away i was in the us army stationed in korea i had to water the trees near the barracks on wed it was raining here i am standing in the rain watering a tree questioning how i got to this freaked up point i know of marines at 29 palms having to flip over rocks so they don't get sunburned and tan evenly at school football soccer was banned as it was played too much to make way for other sports the ban was soon revoked after people were getting hit in the head with cricket bats when i was in grade 36 when our school bell would ring after recess or lunch we had to freeze where we were no movement at all the duty teachers would scan the school yard just looking for someone to yell at for continuing to move after the bell after about two minutes they would ring the hand bells and we could line up to go in it's been over 50 years and i still can't figure out the reason for it i think that forcing the children to freeze in place for two minutes calmed them down and served as a transition to going into class at my job out of nowhere the department director suddenly told us we couldn't sign our emails we just had to put the department name at the bottom of them absolutely no explanation was given for this rule two months later after no one could figure out who was working on what in our emails and other people in the company having trouble figuring out who they should follow up with we suddenly got orders that all our emails must be signed with our names my dad goes crazy at me whenever i drink fresh fruit juice after midday because fresh juices for breakfast according to him now i've moved out though so i can enjoy orange juice whenever i want oh yeah my parents did this too i think they wanted the juice to last with three girls and my dad juice always was gone quickly so we even had to use the small glasses for it now i get a container and my husband gets a container and we drink out of carton screw the rules i went to a private baptist school my freshman year of high school whenever we had an assembly and it was time to clap our hands for someone who had just spoken or performed we would have to all clap our hands in unison it would be led by the bad crap crazy pastor's wife she felt normal clapping was too chaotic it was the weirdest thing i've ever witnessed i would be terrified if a big crowd just started clapping in unison in high school if you were late to first period you got a detention late to your second class there was no penalty this just caused everyone including myself to just skip the first class altogether my middle school was a small town k8 and fairly new the administrators couldn't quite figure out how to properly do their jobs and consequently there were a lot of strange playground rules for example comma only certain grade levels may sit stand on a particular hill hill was mound of dirt not dangerous in the least common 01 allowed within 15 feet of one of the fully developed trees just one of them comma my favorite was that we were not allowed to congregate in groups larger than three people like i said it was a small school and the entire eighth grade was pretty good friends we once got split up on the playground because you can't stand in circles of this many people because we can't see what's going on in the middle of you so we stood in a giant parabola instead and didn't get in trouble when i worked at my university library we were allowed to browse the internet on the computers at the circulation desk after all of our tasks were done one time one of the two computers apparently got a virus and after the it people fixed it we weren't allowed to browse the internet on that particular computer the other one they were fine with it was very obvious that my supervisor had no idea how computers work so of the two people working a given shift one would get to browse the internet and the other did not the colon sounds like a rule my mom would make any time her computer gets a virus it is magically my fault i work at a daycare preschool i am male after working there for three years with all ages and having changed easily too many dang diapers management suddenly decided i shouldn't do that anymore even though that's literally part of the job now personally i didn't mind i hate changing diapers but my co-workers threw a fit about it plus it's a little sexist so now i have to change diapers again i went to a catholic elementary school for a year and we weren't allowed to talk during lunch one of the nuns had a whistle sheet blow in your face if you were caught talking to your friends growing up my mother was obsessed with laundry dirty clothes go and wash a while you're dirty take a shower and only then may you start the load go sit down in the designated clean area until the load is done fold close put away repeat cycle at my secondary school high school there was a set of stairs on either side of the main building on one set of stairs you could go up and down them but on the other set you were only allowed to walk up them that we even got stopped from going down them in a fire drill once i will never understand the logic when we were doing standardized testing in middle school the rule was that we couldn't read anything after we had finished the teacher's logic was that if we were too excited to read we would have rushed through the test and missed a lot of questions so we just sat there for three hours staring at the wall after we finished for a short period of time google was blocked on our school computers because people kept using it to go on games [Music] school our toilets kept getting clogged so the teachers thought the best response was to limit students to three squares of toilet paper per bathroom trip fixed the clogging problem and instead they had a bunch of first through fifth graders with swamp butt running around apparently that was somehow better my son isn't allowed to take books out of his school library that aunt in the second grade section he comes home every week and complains because the librarian says the book he wants is too hard for him frick then seriously take him to the public library and then encourage him to bring inappropriate books into the school's library to read worked in a place where i had to regularly send out invoices by post i had to fold each a4 piece of paper into three but not equal thirds because the person who set up the template she didn't even have the skills to make a template file didn't know how to make the address line up to the window of envelopes although she left the company after stealing the boss still worshipped the ground she walked on he actually related the story of her theft and admiring tones when i created a proper template with nice things like consistent formatting my boss had a rant at me because the addresses didn't line up and clearly that meant that everything i had done was useless i didn't understand what he was on about and folded up something i'd just printed off into equal thirds and it was perfect he told me to change it back because companies might think that it wasn't from us if we suddenly changed he said the same when i made the radical suggestion of spelling the names of our customers correctly in invoices i worked for a brief time in a perfume factory the temp agency loved to send me to the strangest places you normally got assigned a position for that shift usually on the production line closing packaging putting tops on bottles that sort of thing one of the other things you would have to do is break boxes basically flattened cardboard boxes but these boxes were pretty sturdy they had been transporting glass or other delicate materials so they'd be held together pretty well so i had found a stanley knife that someone else had left nearby and set to work q3 supervisors sprinting over like i had just armed a bomb apparently you can't use sharp objects at all in the factory which makes me wonder where the stanley knife came from no appeal to common sense or reason would move these guys we had to break apart these heavy boxes you know the ones sealed with that really strong woven tape for eight hours with just our bay-handed mite i had to quit shortly after that i just couldn't work in a place where health and safety overruled any sort of basic common sense and also because i was the only white guy in there no one would talk to me so i started talking to myself which i didn't care for i work in an after-school program during the afternoon students are given two structured times to do their homework if they should choose to do so one is when other students go outside and the other is in a different space while other students are doing an activity in our main space one of our sixth graders chose to go outside and do the activity later during the third hour of our program they chose to do their homework my boss told that student that they couldn't do their homework then and insisted that they just sit and read or play a card game like the other students but why would we not want our students to do their homework for the eighth grade no google for projects we had this crazy librarian who instituted a school rule that you weren't allowed to google anything because there is too much false information found through google we had to use this website where each surfer used a personal account that cost the school a ton of money nobody could find the info they needed and the library professor drove the already fleeting school budget into the ground last i heard she still works there ugg i remember being forced to use your hooligans instead of a regular search engine because it was optimized for young users guys in my middle school were not allowed to wear pink as it was feared to be gang-related i was only allowed to wear a baseball cap or bandana if my hair was on that day longer than my chin i have wavy hair so it curls with humidity and my tang longer or shorter depending on the weather this was decreed by my father who felt that hat and short hair looked too masculine not me but my girlfriend her dad banned her from being sarcastic i don't even know how that would work okay dad i won't use sarcasm not one bit my third grade teacher discovered 10 year old me drawing in a spare spiral notebook i had but certainly nothing amazing but it was my sanctuary away from a playground full of other kids who knew i was somehow different and either bullied me or wanted nothing to do with me so i would draw she snatches it and proceeds to tear out 80 pages of drawings then folds them in half and says we don't draw on lined paper with a stern look shortly before depositing them in the garbage can behind her desk my mother used to hate the word fart so when we were growing up she would make us say excuse me i pooped instead i have always thought that sounds much worse my aunt also hates the word fart she says frick like it is going out of style but if you say fart shame on you the bathroom stalls in the gym locker rooms are not to be used for changing if caught changing at the bathroom store you will receive a detention and zero participation for the day if you see someone else changing in the bathroom stall you are to tell the nearest gym teacher i have no idea what the administration was thinking with this rule some kids are self-conscious it's high school not every teenager is comfortable with showing off their naked body to a group of their peers sounds like coach jerry wants to keep an eye on you kids no backwards hats because it's gang-related eventually no hats at all because it's gang-related you know who else wears hats people going blind and getting sunburned and the scorching california sun that's who no backpacks allowed at school i mean really no more than three seconds at the water found and strictly enforced by grouchy nuns at my catholic elementary school frick hydration right especially after we ran around sweating for an hour at recess kid found a knife at school turned it into the teacher and was suspended with the possibility of being expelled because the school has a strict no weapons rule my friend's mom didn't allow us to drink milk after 8 pm but she let us drink mountain dew she was a dumbass for more than just that reason when i was a hostess my manager on duty told me i wasn't allowed to leave the host stand not even to seat tables people would come in and i would say hi they would ask if we had any tables and i would say i have no idea i'm not allowed to leave the host stand good luck i did that all night when i was in preschool i wasn't allowed to write my own name on my artwork because none of the other children knew how to write their name and i would make them feel bad if they knew that i knew that was just one of many rules in that vein my parents pulled me really quick being only allowed to go to the washroom once per semester and yes they keep track i don't get the logic whatsoever humans pee and crap what's harmful about going to the washroom if anything it's less harmful for me to go on the upside though i've learned how to hold in my pee for a measurable amounts of time my parents refused to let me do anything that they construed as playing with my food this included wait for it opening taking the top off my aureus but you're supposed to open them i would argue it even shows people opening them in the commercials but they wouldn't hear of it some kids sneak around doing drugs in secret or shoplifting or lighting things on fire me if i wanted to rebel when my folks weren't looking i would sneak some aureus from the cupboard and then i would unscrew those cookies like a i had to eat burgers with a knife and fork for a short but puzzling time of my childhood i went to a catholic elementary school i could go on for days among my favorites we weren't allowed to talk or turn on the lights during lunch lunch was eaten in silence and darkness also if a classmate got in trouble for any reason no one was allowed to talk to that person for the rest of the day or longer for repeat offenders my absolute favorite was mayday there was a day in may that we all stood in a circle around this giant statue of the virgin mary and prayed and celebrated her and whatnot the kicker was everyone was required to be in full winter uniform for this wool pants shirt and tire and a sweater in may one year it was about 80 degrees out and i passed out i awoke to a teacher yelling in my face that i had dishonored the virgin mary dishonored her heck man you could have met her periods as in the single dots we put at the end of a sentence must be italicized i worked at a family entertainment center an arcade with ticket redemption games etc the owners somehow got it in their heads that everyone who wore a baseball cap backwards bill in back was a gang banger employees therefore had to immediately go up to anyone wearing their cap backwards and tell them to turn it around and if they refused we had to kick them out just tell them you're afraid to tell the eight-year-old to turn his hat around he might be a gang-banger ask a teacher to go to the washroom once i had to pee pretty bad i asked the teacher she said no i peed my pants and got suspended what's one rule that your school workplace has implemented that absolutely backfired my high school banned girls from wearing any shirt that exposed their bra straps because seeing a bra strap would give high school boys evil thoughts most of the girls in school responded by wearing the same shirts they'd always worn without bras as a teenage boy it was a happy couple weeks the school tried to then mandate that all female students wear bras until a male teacher asked a 15-year-old if she was wearing appropriate undergarments or not she called him a pervert her parents who thought the whole dress code things was as stupid as most of the students threatened a gender biased harassment suit against the school everybody in charge panicked and it all went back to the way it was before they tried to change anything coma until a male teacher asked a 15 year old if she was wearing appropriate undergarments or not this is my favorite tale the thought of the awning chasm that open up beneath this rules are rules and makes me chuckle during our general meeting last week the owner of the company went on a bit of a rant about negative reviews of management on a popular jobs website with a green logo he demanded that we stop posting negative reviews immediately and shamed anyone in the room who had done so as you can guess people double down and posted their grievances on the same day as the meeting the green logo company doesn't take too kindly to that sort of behavior seriously they will terminate service if management is caught doing that report it because of rumors of a drug problem in the school there was the administration decided to drug test students the media jumped all over that violation of our civil rights or something the initial statement was that anyone who failed the test would be kicked out of school after the 40th or so kid failed they changed the policy to mandatory meetings with the councillor after the 100th kid failed they hired another councillor our school just brought in drug sniffing dogs that would randomly come into classrooms the thing was the sheriff's department would always be parked in front of the school before the first bell with clearly marked canine cars so anybody who had drugs would see the cars and just skip school that day absences increased massively no personal conversations the office would be silent for hours and motivation took a huge nose dive if the owner heard a personal conversation he would call the person out and yell at them god that owner was a dong glad i got out i took over managing a group whose previous boss had this rule productivity skyrocketed the part i'm most proud of is the employee i was warned about being lazy and belligerent became one of my best assets all it took was to treat him with respect my old boss tried implementing an incentive scheme for the underperformers while anyone who consistently did well received nothing three of us quit within a month we used to be allowed to stream music etc on our computers spotify was an approved program and would come installed on your computer someone complained about productivity despite us always doing our work and so the band streaming of any kind on our computers but now everyone just listens on their phone so you walk around the office and nearly everyone has their phone out now so it looks even worse when sponsors come into the office yo pandora spotify and youtube are easily my best work friends banging out emails all day without listening to music would be borderline unbearable work instituted a point system for being late or calling off sick a crew too many points and you get written up fired if it continues they doled out the same number of points whether someone was a minute late or called off altogether and if an absence lasted up to five days it was still only one absence so anyone who overslept or encountered heavy traffic and was running late would just stay home for the rest of the week after several months they decided that being late was only worth half a point in our office we're not allowed to have more than 14 consecutive days off so one guy booked a cruise for a month booked off 14 days then one day back then another 14 days off he called in sick on his one day back we weren't allowed to be friends with kids in grades above us but we could be friends with kids in grades below us that rule didn't last long turn to your left and shake hands with a person standing next to you at an industrial site i used to work for they introduced an absolutely no overtime policy the people that most commonly worked overtime were the maintenance guys they had to cut out their preventative maintenance in order to make their hours while being available for all shifts it took three months of daily breakdowns before they decided to try something else how more maintenance would be a good compromise to that rule boss insists that lunchtime is from 12 o'clock 12 30 p.m no exceptions lunch is not paid time the second day he comes in hot to trot with something for me to do between 12 o'clock and 12 30 and needs it done right away i look over at my clock which says 1209 or whatever and say you said yesterday that lunch is from 12 o'clock to 12 30. no exceptions and went back to my sandwich if i don't get paid from 12 o'clock to 12 30 there's no way in heck i'm working for free college removed chairs in cafeteria so people won't hang around now people just don't eat at the cafeteria it's a ghost haul and most of the food is thrown away daily really sad god forbid anyone socialize in a building or the college they're paying for while eating food they are also paying for lana de la 14 school in london mo late 80s early 90s our fairly small rural school went from k-8 so we split lunch times in our gym cafeteria for some reason our school actually invested in a noise control system because we could apparently be quite loud during lunch and i guess the teachers got tired of trying to keep us kids quiet ish and eat this new piece of equipment was mounted high on the wall and looked exactly like a stop light when it was green we were free to talk if it became yellow we were to be careful of how much noise we made if it turned red it would buzz loud like when the game clock runs out at a basketball game installing this thing almost immediately had the opposite effect they desired it became a game to us we would only get quiet in order to make it go back to green then as a large group we would progressively get louder we would stall it out at yellow before surging our collective voices to make it hit red and bu zed zzzz at which time we would all cheer laugh and get quiet again to reset it to green good times that's why they frown on putting breathalyzers in bars turns it into a competition any support call lasting longer than 25 minutes must be reported to higher ups for review i if you have too many no matter if it's your fault or not you get a disciplinary review i implemented the rule of politely hang up on a customer as close to 25 minutes as you can and call them right back i am sorry i am experiencing a small issue with my phone is it okay if i call you right back gotcha outgoing calls are not reported or recorded it's amazing any software related to job whether written inside or outside company time belongs to the company me so if i write and release malware at home it's the company's problem the clause was immediately removed outside company time that has got to be illegal my friend worked as a technician at a place that did installation for telecom sound cable pretty much anything tech related really the techs were paid by work order completion each job had a value that got paid out when you finish the work order the experienced techs could finish more jobs in a day and made some seriously good money they were motivated to work fast to get more jobs done but also to do it correctly because having to go back within a certain time window and fix a problem didn't pay out so it lost money well some new management came in and decided to change everyone to hourly wages their idea to make techs focus on getting the job done right and not rushing it all the really good tech saw massive pay cuts from it and immediately quit the rest of the tech suddenly had no reason to finish jobs quickly since you got paid the same whether you did two installs or 10 installs in one day so everyone just started slacking off within a few weeks the orders were backed up so bad install dates were pushed out for a month or more and when people finally did get their stuff installed it took all day instead of a couple hours that one change completely fricked over the company nothing like greedy management to completely freak up a good thing no cell phones in high school security collected them when you walked in put them in ziploc bags and locked them up they lost like five people's phones lost had a fellow at my old place of work that was promoted to sales manager within a few days he drafts up a document which he tries to get all of us to sign basically stating that we aren't working to our full potential and that to make profits all we would have to work even when we weren't working aka taking calls from customers no matter the day or time this resulted in an almost immediate revolt and about 10 plus people bypassing him directly and going right to the owner he was demoted then later fired within a week pizza place i worked at in high school implemented a zero tolerance policy on employees taking home any food home that wasn't paid for at non-employee prices any screw-ups or unpicked up orders trash the local homeless population started flocking to the store and calling in bogus orders because they knew there would be free pizza in the dumpster every night our process integrity people decided every international order over 100 000 needed to be approved by a manager at the purchase requisition stage before the sales order could be processed the problem purchase requisitions only generated after the sales order was completed this meant it was impossible to complete any international order worth more than 100 000 and they launched this policy unannounced two days before christmas i ended up staying in the office until nine at night trying to get our data people to create a way for me to order 300 k in parts from sweden before the holidays i was told this story when i was in the army by a parachute rigger the workday in the army is nine o'clock 4 30. riggers packing troop shoots had a daily quote of 35 shoots once they got good at it these guys could be done by 2 30 which is a very nice work day indeed well they got this new captain who decided that since these guys are getting 35 done by 230 then obviously making them work until 4 30 would increase output even more so of course that units numbers went wildly down and the 35 and you're done for the day was quickly reinstated from another perspective parachuters might have preferred when the riggers were taking their time rather than rushing through the process to leave early no backpacks in the classroom which led to hundreds of backpacks in the principal's office one morning no one gave a frick about that rule in germany you need a paper from your doctor when you are sich at least three days they enforce that you needed one even if you just are away for one day so everyone had to go to the doctor if not feeling right and of course we were away for weeks we have the same here in finland my superiors accept that you call them if you have fever or something minor one two days off and mark them as normal working hours rather than going to doctor and get one two weeks of sick lease works for me works for them a big shipping company i worked at for a couple months said we would be working 7 am to 4 pm they didn't tell all the new employees including myself that holiday hours we're going to be 7 a.m to whenever the frick we feel like telling you to go home around 10 to 11 p.m naturally people would get in five to seven hours of work and go on break then just not come back that led to we can no longer allow lunch breaks me and roughly 50 70 other workers quit on the spot the deputy head of our school banned fidget spinners and rightly so in his defense they were everywhere on the final day of year 11 someone hacked his school intranet login and edited the bulletin leaving a notice in his name saying that fidget spinners were now not only unbanned but mandatory and that aficionados could come to his office and learn tips and tricks from him real world heroism stopped giving kickback for walk and sales i work at a hotel and the high management had the bright idea not to give us anything for charging walk-ins late checkouts early check-ins and upgrades so now we give them for free whenever we can then summershat will leave that fear satisfied as they wear and charge 4x after talking to y in their tripadvisor review it was actually my rule when i was managing a store my rule was that the closer had to do all the closing work and mark the checklist and i would check it the following morning however i put a loophole in if you close tonight and open tomorrow you can come in early the following morning i was really the only one who closed and then opened the following morning and i knew that on many of those days i worked 10 hours with non-stop managerial work so instead of staying late to clean i like to come in early and do it in sunlight well one day i followed my rule and the next morning i woke up sick and had to call an employee to cover he showed up to a dirty store opted not to clean and then got written up when the owner made a surprise visit i didn't close so it wasn't my job and the owner said you work here and the store is dirty so it is your job i then had to go tell the owner that it was my fault and he still responded regardless of what you did or didn't do he came into a dirty store and did not clean it that's not acceptable i removed my rule change and just made it mandatory to clean before leaving lol a few years ago we weren't allowed to stand in groups bigger than four at our school because this old teacher told us it was gang behavior and encouraging gang violence one day my entire year of like 100 plus people got in a massive group screaming gang gang and throwing gang signs on our school field so they had to bring every single teacher out to try and split us apart for a straight 20 minutes best school day ever we did a mass hug around the flagpole then spend three days holding any hand of any person you walked by this was after they told us we could not touch anyone a nursing home in our area thought it would be a great idea to bring back the traditional white nursing caps they made it mandatory for all female nurses to wear during their shifts or be written up and eventually pointing yourself out male nurses were not included about half of the staff quit within the first two weeks several started working at my facility the others that stayed said that the residents and families of resident laughed and made fun of the nurses constantly pretty degrading and chauvinistic comments basically about three months after this all went down someone from corporate came in and fired all the directors who implemented the uniform change and everything went back to normal several nurses stayed with my company but a few went back when the rules changed used to work in an inpatient treatment facility one of the perks was that meals were provided to staff members the new ceo decided that it was far too expensive to feed clients and staff and put the kibosh to it in an effort to trim the food budget the food at this place used to be decent with a competent cook who knew how to use fresh ingredients now the food provided is processed and gross last i heard the cook quit and they have the handyman preparing meals the kicker the food budget has gone up because now the food is all pre-made frozen the clients hate it and most of it goes in the trash no swapping shifts without a shift swap form immediately backfired when the manager had a stack of shift swap forms every day to approve and update the digital roster my middle school tried to prohibit students from bringing backpacks into class you could bring a purse bag etc however just not a backpack they wanted students to either stop by their locker before every class period impossible without being late or carry a large stack of heavy textbooks around all day due to the latter reason the rule got cancelled within a week this was in 1998-99 so i'm not sure what they were trying to achieve with this rule one job i had had a nails should only be in neutral colors rule every rule was enforced rather strictly except for this one because per the words of a manager every woman would get written up ruler at my workplace ws that if you were late you had to bring donuts for everyone people quickly figured out that the cost of being four hours late was to bring doughnuts as a result if you were running late you just had a slow easy morning and stop bite to pick up donuts on your way in our boss who had put the rule into place thought it was funny and just let it continue he was an easy going guy and really good at motivating people letting them get away with this sort of thing meant they stayed late or showed up after hours for emergencies not me but my friend's old place my friend was one to show up a half hour early before work and was a commission-based salesman with salary just like the other salesman who would always show up barely on time two hours late friday night comes along and management decides to hold a meeting to announce the new policy if you're late you go home for the day and if you're late three days a month you're fired the weekend goes by and everyone is on time during the week a few people call out sick right as the store opens the weekend is coming up and my buddy is scheduled for saturday but not sunday or monday and he's going to disneyland with his wife who has saturday sunday and monday off friday night he packs his wife's car saturday comes along and he's in the parking lot a half hour early he pops in his favorite cassette fires up a joint and proceeds to hot boxes car he walks in five minutes late reeking off pot looks at the clock and then to his boss in front of the whole sales floor and loudly says oops i'm late guess i need to go home with a crap-eating grin on his face the bosses started backpedaling the policy and started to tell him it wasn't for him and they'll let it slide he loudly stated that it wouldn't be fair if they made an exception for him and that he would see them tuesday when he got back to work on tuesday the policy was gone same company years later hired some absolute genius of an accountant who sold the idea to management that employees were making more than management and that they should go from commission to salary all the top salesmen jumped ship asap the reminding bottom feeders got a raise compared to their normal salary and commission and they didn't have to do crap all day to get it less than a year later they shut their doors for the last time jesus christ what full thinks it's a good idea to completely remove the incentive for selling things that's how you go from a place of business to walmart ffs one of top managers from my work decided that everyone who's worked there for seven plus years had to do a special online training course that consisted of two 400 plus page volumes of leadership training followed by a 20 25 question test for each volume you were expected to complete this within one year of being automatically signed up for the course failure to pass the tests or to complete the course by the end of that year and are you ineligible for promotions and almost guaranteed to be laid off within a year so many people tried to take the guaranteed severance package option by not doing the course that they had to change the rule that you wouldn't get laid off or not promoted but you still had to do the course people still didn't do it that guy finally left shortly after and a new guy replaced him and promptly chucked that course and the whole idea of it into the garbage when my school moved to a newly built site they also tried to establish a new rule asset for a new generation or something the first one because they loved their fancy new building so much was that nobody was allowed to leave the building until the end of the school day including breaks the front door would literally be locked unless there was a fire alarm suffice to say either nobody turned up or a lot of fire alarms were pulled before the rule was thrown away there were also military-style uniform inspections at random throughout the day and they looked to us i was in sixth form to set the example for the kids however they were so overzealous and dictatorial that it became comical and we all very quickly stopped caring and told them to send us home or get lost and stop treating us like trash there were more stupid rules like this but our first group of sixth form ended up tearing them all down in a couple of months i didn't reach my sixth form until much older in life great workhorses phones should be stowed away in a box in the front of the classroom everyone was like me we'll see how it goes in other words number yeah like i'd leave 800 pounds sitting in a box in the front of a classroom full of people still learning morals programmer here management implemented an agile work tracking system that measured programmers by the amount of feature requests they completed we quickly figured out how to gain that system by breaking everything down into the maximum number of feature requests we could imagine we'd make separate feature stories for make new button make button blue make button respond when clicked make new page for the new report run business logic to get results display results in grid set font for grid make grid sortable make back button return to previous page we became great at dividing a one-day task into 21-hour tasks management loved it our team looked 20 times as productive and became an example to show off our process as the best performing team despite producing far less actual work and more useless form filling for some reason my department started a rule having to keep phones in their cars or locker eventually the supervisor said frickit cause no other department was told this no n words in the huck finn our high school teacher made us buy the censored version for his class and numerous parents complained about the censorship as well as the added cost since our school library had sets of the original we could have read for free it's history embrace it accept it don't repeat it oh gosh in school back in the day we participated in a diversity driven activity carried out in the form of the wall of tolerance or something along those lines basically we had to write down stereotypes and put them up so we could tear them down it ended up looking like the wall of racism it was super bad i'm just glad we didn't end up on local news way back in the antediluvian days of the 20th century i worked as a government inspector in one of the larger u.s states this was before the advent of government employee unions each fiscal year the personnel department would come up with proposals for reimbursing employees for official travel discuss it with an employee association and send it to the state legislature for rubber stamping one year someone came up with the bright idea that travel reimbursement should cover more than overnight trips employees who were required to travel more than 25 miles from their headquarters should get a lunge allowance my guess is that no one looked hard at the proposal and those that did were thinking of staff who went to occasional meetings not people who were on the road every day well my agency had the state divided up into districts inspectors in the districts were on the road almost daily in my case it was a combination of overnight and day trips it was pretty common to be more than 25 miles away from my office and my colleagues and i discovered that it was easy to change pretty common to almost always multiply that by not only my own agency staff but staff in every other agency that did field work we cleaned up on the lunch allowances the state budget for employee travel was completely blown before the year was half over and as soon as legally possible the rule was changed to cover only specific emergency conditions what's the most ridiculous rule in your place of work i used to work at a place in which my boss implemented a no more than two glasses a day water policy but what a sea i ignored this rule and complained directly to our ceo and the matter ended later that day what was weird though was the majority of people actually followed the rule and some even shocked me up to hr about breaking the rules i left not long after that because not only was my boss a balance but if my colleagues were going to hr over me drinking water then i obviously couldn't trust them but they love being superior because dehydration delirium woo had a workplace time our bathroom breaks and deduct them from our allotted 15-minute breaks or lunch we had to go see the office manager to get a key to open the restroom as soon as we left his office he would start a timer when you got back he would stop the timer and tell you how much time you needed to deduct from your lunch or next break they watch towel breaks like a hawk also if you made a mistake they would stand over you and time you while you fixed it and deduct that from your lunch or breaks you couldn't bring anything that smells for lunch and they had no way of heating anything up i worked out my contract and split the vp of our company just held a mass meeting to tell all of us we can't have pictures or plants or food or any form of non-office supplied object on our desk tons of co-workers have family pictures or their kids finger paintings pinned up on the cubicle walls all that has to be removed people will pee that is the first sign you should leave if they need to exert that control over you it means other things are failing my dad told me this one a while back he used to work for a pr firm the way he described the office environment think the office but in the 1980s the company hired a corporate efficiency specialist to come in and improve things she came in and implemented all kinds of rules which seemed to follow some sort of caste system her philosophy was the higher your office rank the more perks you get her idea of perks number of pictures you are allowed in your cubicle whether you are allowed to have a potted plant or not coffee mugs were only allowed to seen your employees others had to use paper cups being allowed to leave the office for lunch was also considered a perk needless to say a coup soon followed and she was tossed out on her honey that doesn't sound like it makes anything efficient dress code policy is just dumb at my work different positions have different requirements even though we all work in the same office my favorite rule though is the one on shorts we can wear shorts on fridays between memorial day and labor day however the shorts can't have pockets on the side it was written to discourage ratty cargo shorts but the way in which it is written allows me to wear gym shorts so i do once worked at a place where some minibus decided that since ups trucks don't turn left we shouldn't either and nbsp i don't know or care how well that worked out for ups but this was a goddamned ambulance company with a 911 contract i will turn left if and when i freaking need to turn left land nbsp follow-up i don't know if ups trucks turn left or not or if that is beneficial for them or not and frankly i don't care the point is that minibus thought they did and that was the reasoning he gave he was an idiot i did not stay there long not my current job but i used to work for some crazy people you had to stand in a specific area while eating so they could see you on the camera don't talk to customers longer than three minutes unless you're making a big sale even then keep it short answer the phone within two rings keep the conversation to less than 30 seconds you can't talk to your co-workers outside of work you can't talk to your co-workers while at work even if there was not a single customer in the store i'm sure there's more i just can't think of right now old job of mine in a warehouse our stations were pretty far apart so when we listened to music we'd all usually have our own stuff playing not a problem since you could barely hear the neighbor's music well the ceo didn't like hearing multiple songs when walking through the warehouse he made a rule that we all either had to listen to the same music or none at all i'd put on the same song but everyone started 15 seconds apart we got a new vacation policy where you could take unlimited time off when he announced it we looked at the big boss like he had a dong growing out of his forehead although while he assured us that if we wanted vacation to take it really a little bit afterward he changed it to discretionary time off meaning that if your boss approved it it was okay then a change to 160 hours should be the max and if you go over 200 hours then you probably don't need to work here i once needed a pen figured this was a reasonable ask went to the supply closet on my floor which was locked asked the floor's admin she told me to go to the main supply room in the basement went to the basement and explained my situation of needing a pen they told me all requests for supplies must be approved by my department head problem is being new i'd never met my department head she also worked in san francisco i worked in milwaukee so i needed to send an email both introducing myself and asking her if i had permission to get a pen from the supply closet this is my favorite one so far that's so ridiculous in every way if you had to take a leave on monday or friday so that you have an extended weekend of three days instead of two it was counted as three days leave counting in saturday and sunday deal with that this was in a small private company in india dealing with medical writing homer your boss says if you don't come in today don't bother coming in monday homer woohoo four day weekend if you are one minutes late it is a tardy if you take a half day nothing goes on your record i was told to just take a half day if you are going to be late because they straight up fire you for tardies also if you clock out early it is a tardy if you have to go to the doctor on lunch break and it is going to take an hour and 10 minutes take the rest of the day off weird firemen our risk management department decided long ago that polls were too risky for us so we use the stairs we have polls anyway now the newest rule is no free weights as in no free weights to work out stay fit go into burning high rise absolutely walk around the station carrying 40 pounds dumbbells too risky i feel you my fd just got some workout equipment rowing machine and bike it had been delayed due to liability concerns but we actually have a fire pole that we use it's all very confusing we aren't allowed to wear jackets unless they are purchased from the resort gift shop with the hotel name logo on it but they are 50 plus and we don't get reimbursed but it's the price you pay to stay warm in the cold months mcdonald's did this to us when i worked there they paid half but they were still like 50 60 bucks for a crappy fleece i just wore my regular jacket and nobody said a thing former job there was trouble when i officially moved desks and my new desk had a phone with cool display apparently call display phones were allowed for people at a certain pay level your pay level also governed the height of your cubicle walls my manager's solution was to promote me another former job we were mandated to work on our engineering related research project outside of work hours because a responsible engineer always gives back to the engineering community i could live with that however your project had to be related to the company's business we have to do all of our paperwork at least three times there is a copy of it in our personal folders a copy online and a copy in our store folders not only does it waste time and paper but forgetting to do one has gotten people fired they did the other two identical pieces of paperwork confirming that yes they did take out the trash and yes they did check the store voicemail but how dare they forget to do the third piece of identical paperwork our weekly visits from corporate revolve around whether or not we've all done this paperwork it's so redundant my workplace doesn't let you use the word problems instead we have to say challenges if something is wrong as a problem is a negative word and challenges promotes the fact that there is room to fix said problem i'd love to have a boss tell me my drinking has become a challenge form a job at a law office one of the partners sent an email to the entire staff that employees were not allowed to gossip in the building what was everyone gossiping about you ask oh said partner was divorcing his wife and sleeping with one of the associate attorneys in the firm but you know don't gossip i worked at a law office once where one of the partners cheated on his wife with an intern got the intern pregnant then divorced his wife and married the intern and because his ex wife and the intern looked so similar some people didn't even know any of this happened all the extra toilet paper in the building has to stay in a single closet where it can be overseen by the toilet paper queen i heard her shrieking the other day when she discovered someone had hoarded one spare roll of toilet paper upstairs so the people who work upstairs wouldn't have to walk down multiple flights of stairs when the toilet paper ran out it's the cheapest one-ply toilet paper available on the giant rolls that only fit in the special dispensers i can't imagine anyone wanting to steal it i hope toilet paper queen is actually her title i used to work for the now long defunct books movies and music store media play just one of the 285 reasons that poorly run business ran into the ground was the tardy attendance policy if you were literally colon one seconds late clocking in even hours before the store opened it was a really really big deal it could not only be formally written up but lectured like a child often times berated even if you were tardy three times bye bye however if you know showed and then called two hours later saying you were sick okay thank you feel better this trained everyone to just take a sick day instead of being half a second late to work i can't tell you how many times you'd see a co-worker screeching into the parking lot before work after fighting traffic from a wreck or whatever noticing it was 801 and then slowly driving off to go home and feign being sick and this was particularly upsetting when it was a pull-down stock week when we needed every hand on deck that had unusually early shifts many years ago i was a vacuum cleaner salesman there were songs about this particular brand of vacuum cleaner and how awesome it was every morning we had to sing these songs as a group in fairness it was a pretty quality item it was kirby didn't mean to be subversive just didn't think anybody would care in fairness it was a pretty quality item it's okay man you're free now you don't need to sing the song anymore when i was in the military i saw a buddy of mine sitting outside crying i went and consoled him best as i could apparently he was just depressed and unhappy after he was feeling a bit better i went to go and find someone to tell them what was happening they knew in fact he had been crying so much lately that they had instituted a no crying at your desk policy which is why he was outside dear god what the frick if we want to take a full five day week off we need to use two vacation days one personal and two more vacation days can never use three vacation days straight something similar here we can't use our sick time until we use three vacation days so let's say i have no vacation hours it gets really sick i can't use pto our sick time is essentially useless i drive valet the company handbook says you're never allowed to back up ever you absolutely cannot do the job without reverse it's impossible it's in there because of liability and our insurance policy this way it can always be the ballot's fault if an accident occurs ever to answer the most repeated question if the rule says no reverse yet you're expected to park a car then how can you park the car answer never hit anything and always reverse despite the rules expect to be fired should you hit anything in reverse but probably not the rule only exists to cover the companies but but if they don't feel threatened by you working there and your asset you still will not be fired and yes many people are questioning the legality of it and you're right it wouldn't hold up in courts but it's in the handbook and it's silly so i posted it malicious compliance it's not like this anymore but for a while they attempted to have a dress code guys had to wear collared shirts but hawaiian style shirts were totally acceptable you could not wear jean shorts but john overall shorts were okay i got sent home one day because my shorts weren't fingertip length we were tech support no one ever saw us that was the best part anyone is asking fingertip length meant standing with your arms at your sides and your shorts had to be longer than where your fingertips ended think great school rules i'm picturing a bunch of i.t workers in hawaiian shirts and overalls and i love it i worked as a call receiver we never saw a customer we were only on the phones with them rule your hair must only be a natural color i dyed my hair the same exact color that someone from a different shift had i was reprimanded i told them that if the rule is not enforced for everyone they couldn't single me out their reasoning for letting the other person have that color but not me mine was my real hair dyed an unnatural color hers was a wee that could be changed very easily really then why hasn't she been asked to change her hair because that crap is expensive they gave up trying to convince me they were in the right i had a boss who didn't like the outrageous color i had in my hair i'm a natural redhead i work in retail and we have on-call shifts your name will be listed on the schedule for a certain time as a call-in so you have to call one hour before your shift to figure out if they need you to work for the day for example you would be listed as on-call for 2 p.m and wouldn't know until 1 pm if you were working that evening if you don't call in it's considered not showing up for a shift but there's no extra pay for the shift whether they need you or not so for three days of the week i don't know if i have to work or not can't make any solid plans to do anything except call my work and ask if they need me i can't imagine having children or elderly that need taking care of because it would be such a hassle to arrange care for them just an hour before having to work okay folks i get it you want me to sue this corporate demon i'm looking into it now and will update with any relevant developments i'm going to dig up my contract tomorrow and see if i can speak to a law person thanks for motivating me this is actually illegal i actually won money from a lawsuit against victoria's secret and their on-call policy i used to work for a large bank we had an attendance policy that was so complicated it actually created an incentive for employees to take an entire day off rather than be tardy too often my high school had that too if you were late enough to miss first period you got a cut which was a detention even being late to first period three times counted as a cut which was another detention an absence was just an absence no cuts no detentions i don't know if it's standard but i worked at a place where hr wasn't allowed to tell us if someone was fired it was a big enough place that you might not immediately realize someone had left and when you found out you weren't supposed to ask why so if you wanted to know if they were fired you asked was there cake which was to say that if the person had retired or left pleasantly after a number of years they would be given a party with cake if they were fired not so much i haven't seen brian for some time brian is no longer with us brian no longer works here with their cake clarifying that bran is alive in this scenario except for below where i said he was dead for karma we have a lock on the first aid kits so if you just need a band-aid for a cut you have to get the key from the safety guy which in turn makes it a reportable accident with mountains of paperwork and investigations we use an unbelievable amount of duct tape now frick that i'd be keeping a box of band-aids in a rarely used drawer or hidden away somewhere this handbook can be changed without notice at the company's discretion so medical leave three days medical leave per year fine i'll use my pto and expect to get disability for the remaining time after i have major surgery an addendum two weeks later medical leave for surgery must have written documentation from a doctor outlining your recovery schedule and when you may return to work when i return on a limited schedule six weeks later the hr manager comes into my office you didn't have the authorization letter before surgery so you better be here or face the unfortunate circumstance of disciplinary action while i'm at it since i'm under contract for five years does anybody know about the legal definition of peonage the specific text of the disclaimer is this handbook is subject to change without prior notice and at management's discretion i used to work for amazon in ireland and their toilet breaks were crazy maximum of 10 minutes a day but also a max of 20 minutes per week you had to change the status on your computer so everything was recorded and some managers would call you out on it and even go as far as threaten your job i had an understanding with my manager and told him if i need to take a crap then i am going for it like any good manager he just told me that as long as i give him the numbers he wants then i could do what i want i was treated with great respect while working there and thoroughly enjoyed the experience i can't speak for other employees in the business but i have heard the stories incidentally i now work in construction where someone isn't looking over your shoulder and checking every minute of every day if you haven't seen the great movie office space watch it describes my situation perfectly my manager was looking for performance numbers i was the one looking for ones and twos there was an issue where there was too much socializing going on on the factory floor particularly when people were working while sitting down false skewed supervisor perception so they made everybody stand when that presented ergonomics problems they brought in these weird chairs that made you sit at a slant had no backs and no wheels so they wouldn't cause distractions no part of it made any sense a rule that said if you have time to lean you have time to clean which fairly obviously meant if there was no work then you should be cleaning things it was at an aircraft servicing station that was fairly small but we needed a crew of at least three people for larger planes the problem was that sometimes there were just no planes so there was no work we were clean for a couple hours and then just run out of stuff to clean but according to management that was no good we had to be busy it got to be that we would fight over work when it came in because everyone was so bored and finding pretend busy work was much much harder than just working i remember getting the crew together to pick up pebbles off the taxiway for a couple hours there's an old joke in aviation go sweep the taxiway so we actually did it at my last workplace we had to pay 50 cents to use a k-cup it was an office they also had a no websites or youtube policy and policed us using the security cameras we'd get messages if they noticed us on a site it was a well-known fact that the manager watched netflix in his office and played world of warcraft while watching the security cameras to make sure people weren't slacking i bet he mains a warlock loves to manage his minions empty inbox my boss was an inbox nazi like if you had old emails in there he would flip and make you respond to them or delete them apparently you shouldn't have anything left at the end of the day deal with them or delete them jokes on him though i just made a subfolder marked personal and everything went in there get fricked bill you old w not current job but at my last job at a store cafe an unspoken rule as in me and my manager were never told this by our boss was that we were not allowed to let a health inspector see anything that they come to inspect while still getting a good grade we followed health and safety laws but our bosses didn't we were one of the smaller stores cafes in this chain of 20-plus stores and cafes the health inspector must have realized that it was the company's fault for all the health and safety breaches because we the staff were given near full marks on the staff's health and safety responsibilities but the boss's responsibilities was a different story no fly killer in store despite them being attracted by our bakery part and us having a fly killer outback for over a month but no one was ever sent to install it no mouse rat traps only one sink law requires two one for hands and one for dishes no hot water the counter where we put coffee down wasn't nailed down and we actually had a customer attempt to sue over a spilled coffee some of our bakery was expired but we were made to put it out because according to our company's food manager they looked okay so they must be okay the list goes on our manager ended up showing the health inspector months of emails and texts and whatsapp messages informing the bosses of these health and safety breaches and asking them to be fixed all of which were promptly ignored later that day our boss calls and screams over the phone at my manager tells him that it's all our fault and it's our job to make sure the health inspector never finds out about all that over the next week she comes in every single day where she just watches us work from the office on the security cameras and gives out at us for every little thing and makes a massive deal over everything like for example i had a mini sneezing fit one of those days and was yelled at in front of customers because i was going to infect everyone and all our food glad to be out of that hell hole last i heard a few of the stores she manages four five store managers quit all in one week while she was on holidays so she took over managing those stores are failing with massive sales drops and mass employee quitting ever since she took over them the hope to god she loses her job holy crap they ruined her holiday perfect revenge we got keurig for our break room our boss removed the part of it that you use the k-cups for because it had a needle in it which is what pierced the cake up her reasoning is that she was afraid someone poked their finger with it we worked in a blood donation center we were all phlebotomists she didn't see the irony worked in a surgery center with doctors one of the cosmetic surgeons who specialized in burn and scar reconstruction didn't like the office manager and made it obvious to be in but office manager told surgeon he couldn't use a box cutter to open packages surgeons started using a scalpel to open off his mail scotch tape on anything i was a teacher and the principal wouldn't allow it in the building threatening letters in your file for insubordination if you saw it on your desk only painters tape which by design is meant to not stick very well i hung posters in my room with circles of duct tape on the backside with strips of painters tape on the front side just for show subtle petty insubordination what oddly specific rules have you seen that are probably only there because someone actually did it in the past in rehab our cotton swabs were taken away because a guy decided to jam one into his eardrum to get sent to the hospital and get painkillers every seemingly dumb rule we had in they had a backstory to it uft used to work in a prison and they had to ban marmite spread because the inmates used the yeast to ferment alcohol and kitkats because they used the foil wrappers for age since covered in things going digital we now have you must wear clothes roll and we already had a pretty casual dress code the zoom virtual background is nice but it really needs a virtual shirt option last year's company christmas party email specifically stated to bring an extra pair of pants if you will be urinating in the first pair i hope somebody really obviously brought an extra pair and just had them in a bag and refused to acknowledge it the entire night and then maybe like changed part way through to the other pants and just kept carrying on like nothing i had the same biology professor for bioin2 because of me the bio2 powerpoint included a new excuse that wouldn't be accepted for missing late work my drunk roommates threw it out while cleaning absolutely no roller skates in the lab my husband worked for a private lab startup and half the women that did roller derby the lab was as menada a reproposed warehouse with nice smooth concrete floors one of the women thought it would be fun to skate between machines she got a lot done but the boss figured osha wouldn't be too thrilled so the sign went up a few days later you could still wear your skates in the break room i used to run a blade all over my college campus as it was faster for getting around than walking i was also too lazy to change industry shoes at the dining halls etc and would just coast all over the place come sophomore year signs were put up in various campus buildings prohibiting rollerblades inside on an air france flight from morocco to mauritania the flight attendant gave the safety brief in french at first my french is not good but my ears pricked up when i heard the words feuda camp i obviously discounted my translation as misunderstanding the brief until she went into the brief in english we were given the standard safety brief on all aircraft but at the end we were specifically reminded that there are to be no cooking or campfires lit on the plane at any time can you imagine your seat mate getting hungry and deciding to start a fire on an airplane to cook up some snacks pharmacy worker here we have to specify to unwrap suppositories before insertion apparently someone thought the foil was part of it fellow pharmacy worker to add on to yours having to specify that suppository is a rectal only or vaginal sometimes people think all drugs go in your mouth and that the capsules that come with spiritual inhalers are not meant to be swallowed my father's hometown marion ohio had a rule that you couldn't eat a donut while walking backwards if i remember correctly it had something to do with attracting police horses to lure them away from the police more like luring the cob away from his horse car remove baby before collapsing stroller we once got a piece of clothing for one of the kids and right on the label i kid you not remove child before washing in my lease i had a clause to properly dispose of my used tampons i asked why and apparently my landlord had a tenant that caused 50 000 of damage because she threw her used tampons into the cabinet under the sink she rented the apartment for years and there were three plus years worth of used bloody tampons and air the uh blood caused a bunch of damage akin to water damage to the bathroom the floor under the cabinet was rotted through from bloody tampon storage the thought of a steamy gelatinous globe of blood gooping through the crappy linoleum and blooming a bloody clicker from the last of us makes me want to actively die never iron clothes while they are being worn all the more fricked up do not use for drying pets on the microwave ha i know someone who ironed their shirt while wearing it not good do not dress game for example dear pheasant in dormitory kitchens i wonder who dragged a deer into the dorm and cut it up for venison at my last job we had a sign on the back door that said you must walk trash all the way to the dumpster do not train the raccoons the story behind that is the facility i worked at does dog daycare in training and darcy the human not to be confused with darcy the poodle didn't like having to walk all the way across the parking lot at the end of the night to take out the trash and trained about three raccoons to drag the bags to the dumpster because he couldn't be bothered to walk 50 feet to it he got away with it for about a year and even named them the manager only found out when she opened the back door to throw out some boxes and saw a bunch of raccoons immediately run up and cut them off i wouldn't even be angry just impressed the 10 bin bowling alley in geelong implemented a patrons must not play blindfolded rule the manager claims it was for safety reasons but i will always know in my heart it was solely because i beat him three games in a row wearing a blindfold geelong is an awesome city on the bottom of the australian mainland lived there 18 years sadly the bowling alley was demolished around 2001. my neighbor told me about that sign kind of funny to know others remember it no rings on ship decks they can get caught and dead love your finger which is exactly as horrid as it sounds oh yeah none in a metal shop either same reason my all-time favorite in the taco bell i frequented as a teenager please do not spit on the managers it wasn't even a freaking paper it was a plaque someone got spit on enough times to go out and pay for a plaque for my fellow scientists transferring chemicals by mouth mouth pipetting is forbidden i was in high school and did stage one chemistry while mouth pipettes were still current tech more recently than you might think not entirely coincidentally i also know what sulfuric acid and sodium hydroxide taste like in a supermarket by the cherry display for the safety of employees and customers please do not discard cherry pits on the floor couldn't figure out why it didn't just say please don't eat the cherries but i'm sure there's an injury lawsuit involved i wish i thought of this i work and produce at a grocery store in cherry season is the worst i find cherry pits everywhere the best part is knowing they've been in some savage's mouth i worked for a company that would send us out of town and put us up in hotels for weeks we had put dm for food but they told us we could absolutely not use it on alcohol found out the company used to have an open bar at the hotel for employees until some former employees got so drunk they hired prostitutes and ended up doing sea and were killed out of the hotel and arrested and were killed out of the hotel and arrested this goes beyond adding insult to injury wish i had a picture but in every restroom stall at my work there is a sign that says three courtesy flush flush wants to prepare for elimination flush between the go and the paper flush upon completion wonder who put that together in their head and said i have a solution hear me out guys shipping procedures send the package immediately with paperwork to follow back in the 90s i used to work in a convenience store in new jersey once a year i'd have to go to the health department and get certified as a food handler it is in this capacity that i learned that there is a law on the books in the state of new jersey that you cannot store food under a leaking sewage pipe you just know health inspector went into a store and said what the heck you can't store food under leaking sewer pipe and the store owner said cite the statute there was this one residence hall on campus where we had to inform students on move-in day not to twist their apartment room key a certain way into their bathroom door otherwise they could possibly get locked and if closed they were encouraged just to use the inner lock bolt body system students got charged five dollars after one free pass if a staff member got a call and had to rescue them from trapping themselves in their own bathroom working in that hall for two years i rescued students seven times and four of those times it was the same girl if the water between denmark and sweden freezes and the swedes walk over we the danes are allowed to hit them with sticks i now want to live in denmark in church there was a sign above the votive candles that read light only one candle seven dollars each apparently for seven dollars someone had lighted all 50 votive candles in the stand someone needed serious prayers one of our employees walked into the sliding glass door to the kitchen so hard that it left an imprint impression of his face on the glass hr declared the glass sliding door to be dangerous and requested a sign to be put on the door ceo puts a sign on the glass door saying no face planting i worked at a video rental store and we had a big sign at the front of the store that said control your children because kids are an organizational nightmare you are not allowed to bring furniture to camp this was even more impressive because you had to hand carry all your things onto a ferry to get to the camp while i would like to take credit for the rule i only knew the person responsible when they showed up with a recliner worked as a substitute teacher during training there was a good 30 minutes reviewing strange rules one he heavily specified was how we are not allowed to take home class pets turns out a sub the year before had taken home a class goldfish because the tank was too small and then ransomed the goldfish to the class until proof of a larger tank i can respect that tbh goldfish seriously suffer in small containers i work as a counselor at a boy scout camp that happens to have coconut trees one of the rules i have to read to the scouts is do not take a coconut and stick it between your legs and try to stab it with your pocket knife this is because at least one kid some time ago did this resulting in an emergency hospital trip on a package of precision screwdrivers do not insert into penis joke one on various laser related things do not look into laser with remaining eye i'm not saying let's kill all the stupid people i'm just saying let's remove the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out too many stories have left my mentally scarred by screwdrivers making me shudder at the mere thought of them it's as crazy as it sounds worked at a call center as it was moving towards shutting down they weirdly got super stringent about rules couldn't have pen and paper so i brought putties and non-sticky slime to give myself something to do during down time email goes out no putty or slime okay i'll finally learn to crochet bring in yarn and needles email goes out no crochet or knitting fine lright is a hobby so i'll type up some blurbs on word maybe make an annoying custom bingo sheet on excel email goes out no longer allowed to use word or excel every email was sent like a week or less after i started doing the thing with the exception of the party timeline made sense to me and my friends kinder but i'm sure for everyone else in the call center they were bewildered as frick should have started messing with the phone cords to see if they would ban phone cords when i was a security guard do not eat marshmallows that are fired at you do not eat marshmallows off the ground we were having issues with residents having marshmallow gun fights worked at an auto body shop the break room microwave sign said no fish or birds there were a few vietnamese guys working there the guy who worked in the wash bay detailing the cars before they were given back to the customers was about 60 years old and he always had weird stuff for lunch i've seen him with bags full of fish heads entire birds feathers and all mystery bags of unknown meat etc apparently he had used the break room microwave to cook these sorts of random things and made the entire office reek for days at a time they ended up putting the old break room microwave in the wash bay which was in an unattached building so he could cook all the nasty crap he wanted to eat without disturbing anyone else i like how this story has a salty but wholesome ending i live in student accommodation on the back of the bathroom door there are diagrams of the right and wrong ways to sit on the toilet international students from countries that only have squats is the reason they would stand on the toilet seat then squat over the bowl some universities put a few squat toilets in for this reason some rules at university were quite funny rubbing your sample on a person who is allergic to nickel is not a valid nickel detection method and will result in failing the course an organic chemistry eye you are supposed to take a tiny sample of your excrement and spread it on the plate not and i repeat not the whole thing itself microbiology class i'm glad i didn't take the same micro course you did if you've had diarrhoea in the last 48 hours please do not enter the pool water real sign i saw at the pool of my airbnb in la a few years back they have this sign at my local pool common sense really i work in health care having a personal relationship with your client is a big one we had a caregiver marry a client's spouse i go over professional boundaries during orientations at least 10 times i trained home hospice carers and had to put in a do not smoke marijuana or give edibles to client section living in a state where it's legal does not mean you as a care provider are allowed to share i have a very strange one at my work apparently if an employee is sick and hospitalized their manager may buy them a gift from the company for up to forty dollars however if the person is hospitalized for the same again within a calendar year they may not receive another gift however if they are hospitalized for a different thing they can receive another 40 gift like what the heck it's uru detailed it's like someone got cancer and kept requesting gifts during chemo also that being said who cares about giving a person with cancer and extra 40 dollars a week i went to work in a remote part of alaska as a line cook they had a mandatory drug test and very extensive background check with several interviews held by various admins in the company this doesn't seem weird until you consider the type of people who work seasonal jobs especially remote seasonal jobs several hours from the closest town it takes a special kind of weird to even be interested in spending six months there when i finally arrived in camp and asked around i found out the previous summer they had some issues with one specific employee before that summer employment with the company was very liberating you show up for your shift you're good not much else to it you're also surrounded by wilderness for 100 s of miles and purposefully scheduled three-day weekend so you can enjoy it well one guy brings his son with him apparently that's not too weird at the time the son starts stealing personal items of female employees and stashing them under his mattress the dad is also getting coke smuggled in by either a trucker or the male it all culminates with one big episode that no one really wanted to discuss after that mandatory drug tests and very detailed interview process with background checks for a long time not sure if this is still the case the school in my small town disallowed high schoolers from providing the lights for the christmas trees this rule was made because my uncle when he was in high school used outdoor lights and set the tree on fire i had an english teacher that had an ironclad rule about no one touching her classroom door except for her rumor is that some kids superglued her classroom door shut a few years ago this led to some of my classmates rubbing themselves all over the door when she was absent for a day and when she went on maternity leave lincoln logs are not welcomed at this lego convention after in 2009 the convention creator said bionicle is about as lego as lincoln logs several lincoln log creations appeared in the bionicle section overnight and lincoln logs have been banned ever since australian here first time i have heard of lincoln log that might explain why americans cabins have a similar design you know those hinge baby changing stations that fold flat against the wall do not fold tray while child is strapped in my father always puts on rental agreements no ducks this is due to an ex-renter who had a pet duck who lived in the house and pooped like a duck poops and the tennis never cleaned it up that house will always be known as the day of the apocalypse when they finally vacated my first day at a bagel joint i got very specific directions on using the deli slicer from someone who had seen a girl open up the underside of her upper arm the turkey waddle notice in butcher's shop please do not let your children sit on the bacon slicer because we are getting a little behind in our orders i work in a warehouse and right inside the door is a huge sign with the dress code on it rule one literally says employees must wear clothes and i am kind of disappointed i wasn't there when the rule had to be made what is the dumbest rule at your job i'm not allowed to contact mall security or the police without district manager approval i could have been just robbed at gunpoint in my store my first call is supposed to be my dm to tell them i got robbed and can i pretty please call the police i would sue the dang company if i got fired for calling the cops if i got robbed i can't see a judge siding against you i'm a librarian if somebody asks me where anything is i have to redirect them to the front desk no matter what example of how this is done where's the bathroom i'm pretty sure the front desk can help you with that well today i got sent home for wearing the new uniform i was just issued and told to change back into the old one i guess they haven't officially started the new uniform yet the thing is i'm the only security guard at an empty building with no one at it to even see me all i did was trade a gray shirt for a white one all the markings are the same seems pointless to me if two snacks fall from the vending machine we have to turn in the extra one or it's considered stealing company property had a manager follow me to the front desk to turn in some cookies last week i work for a very superstitious korean man the rules are no red pens no shaking your legs and no whistling after the sun goes down these aren't official rules but he gets very serious about these things and doesn't allow joking about ghosts the supernatural worked at a korean airline one day we were given tags for our new crew bags one guy gets out his red sharpie and starts to write his name the instructor grabs the tags and gets the pilot some new tags and told us not to write our names in red ink no korean pilot would fly with us if our bag tags had our names written in red ink a long time ago i worked at a navy shipyard there were two rules ray first aid kits at each work site the osha type part of the organization had a rule that each work site had to have a first aid kit the org that ran the workmen's comp staff had a rule that first aid kits were prohibited at work sites any injury had to go to the industrial dispensary to establish a paper trail worksite supervisors were screwed if they had a first aid kit they were screwed if they didn't have one the shipyard commander a four striper called the heads of each organization into his conference room he told them when you two come to an agreement about first aid kits call my office i will have the marina at the door let you out i'm tired of hearing about freaking first aid kits no first aid kit on site is the stupidest thing i've ever heard of jesus christ please tell me you guys have the kits if the microwave and printer run at the same time it trips a breaker that only property management can reset so whenever anyone microwaves something they have dl microwave so nobody prints i mean that's not that dumb of a rule it's stupid that your company has that problem and it should be fixed but it sounds necessary in that situation albeit funny we are not allowed to refer to the xerox machine as bob marley anymore even though it still jams way more than at xeroxes this is because apparently the ceo had tween daughter come one day and she got very upset when she thought the staff were keeping her from seeing bob molly in real life she did not know that bob molly is dead this made the ceo got stressed out and yell at us about the nickname that is a freaking hilarious nickname [Music] in our small hospital department there's an oxygen line w a giant on off valve that only affects our small department if there's a fire i can't turn the valve to close it i have to call the nursing supervisor who is off-site to come down to the fire and turn it off for me i'd say in the event of an emergency break the rule and take your chances i am not familiar enough with the rules of my job to choose the dumbest one but at my old job if a customer purchased something then made it to the door with merchandise he or she didn't pay for the cashier that rang them up was held accountable for it we can expense starbucks but not food from starbucks because one guy was living off of starbucks food for three months worst part was that he was an extremely well-paid engineer but frugal as frick there's always some guy who ruins it for everybody because of some new shoots we got working who don't understand the concept of not using a phone when there is work to be done everyone has to put their cell phone in a bucket at 6 pm or whenever the evening rush starts frick you kerrigan we're not technically allowed to talk about our salaries with each other even though the amount we each individually make is a matter of public record that means that if you get a promotion you have to either file a public records request to find out what your peers are making and therefore pay off your new boss or you have to violate the directive it makes it pretty darn hard for an employee to negotiate i'm entrusted with the care of mentally handicapped clients including being trained in first aid cpr and the heimlich maneuver but apparently changing a light bulb or adjusting the thermostat in the group home where i work is too big a responsibility for me to be allowed to do my last manager global company tried to tell us that if she saw us at each other's desks discussing non-work related things we had to keep track of those minutes and take them as vacation she didn't last long hahahaha women aren't allowed to lift anything literally anything i was going to dump a trash can full of shredded paper in the dumpster last week and my boss caught me made me put the trash can down and go find someone to dump it for me i was literally lifting the thing with one hand as my job requires a lot of lifting and i hate asking for help constantly i have mastered the art of picking up 50 plus lb boxes and running with them so no one catches me pretty sure that's sexism and you can sue for that in discrimination especially if you have proof that they only allow the men to do it do not throw any personal items in company dumpsters or waste receptacles all items to be discarded must be taken home you cannot leave 250 miles of the area without getting your request to leave cedario approved and you have to take lots of online and in-person classes on how to be safe not to beat your wife not to drink and drive and how to not be stressed out and wear a reflective belt everywhere i work construction we're not allowed to tell the new guys how many newbies died in their first week young guys don't naturally think about safety they think they'll live forever your gravity doesn't give a crap what you think stay away from the ledges and open elevator shafts let me explain one when we say guys die in their first week we really mean they die before they know the risks of the job the time frame isn't always a week from when then start two the company i work for a huge we have 20 000 employees working at over 65 main sites much of that is at industrial sites in the oil gas field the work is dangerous three safety is a huge priority for the company you won't stay employed if you don't take safety seriously for everyone that starts is told of all the dangers of the job we don't hide that from them 5. the bose doesn't want us mentioning the deaths because it brings back a lot of bad memories for the guys who were there and the new guys usually think we're either making crap up trying to scare them or they just don't care so it doesn't really make them think of act in a safe manner i think they should know six just because we don't specifically talk about the deaths doesn't mean we don't talk about previous accidents and safety issues we do in detail seven construction is freaking dangerous most newbies just don't get that eight if and when someone dies or is seriously hurt all work is stopped at 20 000 and of us stop working we all in our teams go over what happened what could be done to prevent it and if safety procedures weren't followed we go over what the procedure is and why following it what have prevented the accident 9. with all that in place it doesn't matter crap keeps happening it's bad it's the worst part of the job and it can really frick with your mind 10. no one who runs a team gets to that point to you without proving they know their crap proving that they work in a safe manner and more importantly that they look out for the guys girls who work with them at the deca where i used to work one eat the same food as the kids during meal times to promote healthy habits and model good table manners two do not serve yourself until all of the children are served and have had as many servings as they'd like three do not eat when the children are not eating 4. do not eat unless the children are finished 5. mealtimes require staff to be actively serving the children and regulating behavior they are not a staff lunch break so basically we have to eat their food they can't eat their food but can't pack a lunch because we aren't allowed to eat different food but we can't eat the prepared food and there was no fixed menu so we could fudge similar enough food from home to share and we have to eat when they eat but we can't be eating while they're eating because we have to do our job and we can't take it in shifts because we have the minimum staff to child ratio in rooms at all times to avoid waste 99 of us just ate whatever the frick we wanted during nap time if all the kids were asleep or the awake ones got soothed in shift so we could eat the other one percent didn't work over meals or just ate whatever do not eat when the children are not eating do not eat unless the children are finished what supervisors aren't allowed to have any unnecessary contact with employees under them outside of work this wouldn't be that at eitc if it weren't for the fact that the supervisors are just other teenagers that got conned into taking on a bunch more work for a .50 raise my brother works at a certain restaurant redneck gift store with old time candy and their rule is absolutely 100 no outside of work contact between a manager and an employee if they find out you talk to each other go out for a beer facebook friend each other anything both parties are immediately terminated the manager and the hourly you can finish your work on time you can log in and log out on time no one cares the ones who get praise are people who work late and why do they work late because they can't finish the work on time but it's fine bob is working late and taking up so much load for company no frick you bob is working late because he can't fix a single-line error for four freaking days bob knows exactly where that line error is my dad is a flight nurse he has a flight suit that he carries anything he could possibly need while transporting a patient one day he came home all pay off i carry all kinds of needles and drugs that can paralyze someone but they won't allow me to have my movie tool on me because it has a knife blade over three inches long we train young men to drop fire on people but their commanders won't allow them to write frick on their airplanes because it's obscene colonel kurtz our safety protocol states that if there is a fire and there are wheelchair-bound students or employees on the second floor we are to leave them at the top of the stairs for the firefighters and emergency personnel to help once they arrive colon so basically they get to burn to death i work in a small programming company we haven't set up any kind of version control yet so to avoid overwriting other people's changes to packages and scripts we have an item associated with each file if you want to edit a file you need to go to the person with that item and ask if they're done editing the file if yes you take the item so the next person has to ask you thing is these items are just whatever we had in the office at the time chart package is associated with a foot tall clay zombie gnome filter package is a pair of 3d glasses which some people insist on wearing when editing that file those are the strangest two we also have a few kinder egg toys and an empty bottle of jack daniels we haven't set up any kind of version control yet that would take you literally 10 minutes tops i worked somewhere that had a separate code for different parts of the building quite a few got locked in the stairwell without knowing not my current job but at my old chain restaurant job we weren't allowed to give cups with bottles of soda they had to purchase soft drink cups to have cups for their two liter and it was ridiculous i would promptly ask for a refund and leave never to return here goes so i work in a warehouse school that doubles as a program that employs mentally challenged people it has a scared straight program for juvenile delinquents and we also take prisoners from a work release program i am a support worker which means i am a normal adult worker whose job is to keeps production afloat for one we can't have knives in a warehouse where 90 of the jobs we do require a knife too many kids prisoners mentally ill people stabbing each other we can't change the station to oldies because the subject matter is too suggestive we can only talk about three subjects sports news and the weather if someone hugs you protocol is to stand still do not hug back do not push away and wait for a teacher to pull the kid off of you here's some things us support workers have done and weren't fired for doing h in the bathroom doing h in a car doing h in someone else's car and then doing the owner of the car in broad daylight when the special kids are around getting fingered by a married co-worker outside of the office window and moaning loud enough for everyone to hear pulling to no call no shows every week for a year me showing up s faced drunk sometimes me smoking a blunt in the front parking lot half the workers get stoned on lunch break and the supervisor is fine with it the assistant supervisor joins in giving a kid a cigarette me telling a kid to step back a few feet cause i can smell the doll on your breath dating a high school kid the list goes on bona story we had a 300 plus lb woman who wrote down h as her only past work experience on her application she was hired but left in the middle of her first day to see a john sister is a cheerleader for a professional sports team they aren't allowed to talk to any other players at all if they have any interactions with them they are fired immediately sucks cause i really want my sister to have kevin durant's babies i i think that's what they're trying to avoid no hoodies jeans and tennis shoes are okay but hoodies is where they draw the line just seems silly for an office with almost no dress code to be adamant about their employees not wearing hoodies even if it's raining except on friday friday hoodies are okay we're only allowed to use the bathroom in the employee break area at least a good three minute walk from my workstation sometimes more if i'm a few floors up i guess they're worried that a patron might be offended by p next to us i don't know oh my god one of the employees p next to me this company's employees have to pee like everyone else i'm not coming back to this place can't take lunch meals home i totally have the right to decide when and where i put my food in my mouth total bulls i worked at a place like that one free meal was a benefit except you couldn't take it home and you couldn't eat it on site because customers might see you 100 proofing policy for alcohol purchases it's not really stupid it is just more of a nuisance for customers and customers aren't afraid to let you know how they feel about being carded but it isn't the store's rules or fault we only have a restaurant liquor license so we are obligated to card every single person to basically cover our asses i'm not required to be at work on fridays but if i want to go out of town on a friday i have to fill out a leave form and they will dock my pay i'm salaried that sound illegal no employer can tell you where you can and can't go on your days off also docking your pay for not showing up on a day you don't need to is also shady f i used to work at a company that was sponsored by avian and we would have three massive fridges with free bottled water that was restocked daily and never ran out to make you drink it our company cut the taps in the kitchen sink so you had no other choice but to drink it fine but then our boss decided that one bottle 330 ml was the new limit of how much free water you could have imagine working in the summer and being told you're not allowed to have any water it was especially mean as it was free for the company i'm a web developer and every single part of the job can be done from home however we have to come into the office to work i only have one meeting a week and it's just a conference call myself and my boss are the only two people in the office on the web team the rest are in a city that's two states away so it's not like i have to come into the office to collaborate with the team in person doesn't make sense but i've only been there for a month so i can't really question it yet we aren't allowed to drink water we are cashers at a grocery store and even on the summer's hottest days we are expected to go 3-4 hours without anything to drink now i'm a rebel so i do it anyway because it's necessary for survival and crap and most of my supervisors won't give me flack but it's still there and certain people will make a big deal of it hardware requirements all laptops must have a camera and a microphone security requirements laptops with cameras and microphones must have them disabled i teach fourth graders we have a rule that we can only get six reams of paper to make copies per quarter nine weeks i go through those in about three weeks and end up buying a crap load of paper trust me i try to make less copies but for some things i can't then our principal says that we must ask kids to donate at least one dream each so that i have paper for the year we can fund wars but i can't get paper wtf like most school districts while you are buying your own paper i'm sure it's overloaded with superintendents and management making bank then they beg for more tax dollars for the children teachers are one of the most important resources we have they are with kids sometimes much more than the parents are they should be taken better care of if one other person has booked off any time no one can book off time for that same day or days the entire summer from the since the beginning of may the 22nd of august has been fully booked off by only a few people one guy was given a month and a half off i was refused three days of vacation that i tried to book off four months in advance because of this they don't want us wearing nps work t-shirts instead they want us to wear the nps work uniform shirts that are heavy and constricting so when you're a laborer and you're bending over and picking crap up and needing to move freely so you can do your job effectively and comfortably they don't really want us to wear the t-shirt for some reason but we say frick it and wear it anyways jack in the box from the time the car pulled up to the speaker at the drive-through we were supposed to get them done in under four minutes now this might not sound that bad but customers would always take forever to figure out what the heck they wanted even though we had a preview board and they would order their longest cook time item last i'll have um two tacos 30 seconds to make and uh a spicy chicken sandwich the patty had to be fried for three minutes we also weren't allowed to park people we broke that rule a few times though once for some butthole who ordered 100 tacos and 52 junior bacon cheeseburgers i'd just like to add to the discussion that if anyone is having you work in unsafe conditions it's your right to call osha and make an anonymous tip osha will make a surprise visit to your place of work and assess if anything is dangerous if the employer is in fact breaking the law they'll be fined up the butt you should never have to take a risk with your safety oh that could save their life well sorry you can't do that until the ambulance that's 15 minutes away gets there oh they got maybe five without your intervention too bad guess you better grab the eid if you don't participate on after work pub on fridays then you will get a smaller raise participation accounts for 25 of our yearly raise there was a hugging ban at my old job apparently one of the customers saw two employees hugging once and felt sexually harassed i left that job pretty quickly after that if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 97,603

Rating: 4.8248386 out of 5

Keywords: crazy rules, craziest rulers, weirdest rules, weirdest rules in school, weirdest rulers in history, rules, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, reddit stories 2021

Id: 50P53rwu7oE

Length: 129min 48sec (7788 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 28 2021