Best Police Stories of Reddit (3.5-Hour Compilation)

cops of reddit what's the most bull sounding excuse you got that actually turned out to be true not a cop but my dad rolls cigars he uses this white powder called vegetable gum to seal the wrapper you mix it with some water and it gets sticky and clear in powder form it looks similar to sea my dad had a massive bag on him after a rolling event one night and got pulled over for a traffic violation they saw the bad guy powder laying in a box and asked what it was and my dad told them i guess they didn't believe him because they called back up they had my dad cuffed while they tested it and sure enough it came back as not see they let him go but it still cracks me up hearing the story not a cop but my dad rolls cigars lol wax sentence had a domestic in progress i responded to during christmas day and the excuse for them fighting wizard not mad at each other we're just upset because we wanted to surprise the kids for christmas we got some deer dressed them up now they're destroying our house it turns out there was literally three fully grown white-tailed deer in the house somehow dressed with full bell harnesses like santa's reindeer i had to call the game wardens down who were then able to help me remove the deer from the property without injury to this to them how they managed to get the deer and dress them up is still a mystery to this day okay so legit answer one night i'm out working and as i go down the street fairly nice middle class area surrounded by some high crime neighborhoods around midnight i see a dude on a bike no lights on pulling a lawn mower behind him on a rope i immediately flip a 180 and light him up recognize the guy as a local homeless dude with some prior burglary theft arrests i walk up and just open with dude come on guy holds his hands out and swears he didn't steal the lawnmower claims someone just gave it to him i asked who and he doesn't know a name so i demand he tell me where to find said lawn mower owner the directions he gave were literally go that way a bit then right at a stop sign and take one of those side streets that way it's about halfway down a street at a house that has a pickup and a car in the driveway by this point backup had arrived so i'll leave him in the presence of backup and drive off in search of his mythical donor of lawn equipment i made a decent guess as to the first turn then flipped a mental coin as to which of the next three side streets he would have gone down i pick the second of the three streets and start down it every other freaking house has a truck and car combo there must have been a dozen houses that matched the description halfway down i see an average looking house and go ehh i'll try this one after all it's midnight and this is a wild goose chase go up ring the doorbell middle-aged dude comes to the door hello sir have you been giving away lawnmowers to random sketchy homeless guys at midnight today yes as a matter of fact he had homeowner goes on to complain to me that his wife was upset as his continuing ability to get the mower running and had ordered him with some severity to remove the mower from the house or face the consequences he pushed it to the curb right as homeless guy rode by and the latter had asked and received his permission to take it i drove back in shock and amazement apologized to homeless guy and sent him on his way a few months later we ran into each other at a nearby gas station and he told me it turned out just to need a new spark plug and that he had gotten it running again before going on to sell it for 150 to someone for years after whenever i would run into him he would always make sure to remind me of the money he made from selling that stolen lawn mower lol man the odds of guessing the right street and house one of the funnier ones that i remember we got a call for a kid he was 18 and a gang member brandishing a firearm he had pulled up his shirt pretending to brandish a firearm to intimidate somebody the person calling only saw holster after we got there he kept telling us it wasn't a gun but a corn cob we took him down at gunpoint and he was right he was walking around with a holstered black dildo why because he could ha ha the balls on this guy seriously not really an excuse but shocked the crap out of me i've always been told a diabetic with high blood sugar acts the same as someone who is drunk get a call for a car all over the road hitting trash cans on the side of the road and whatnot we stop the car and get the driver out he's slurring his speech like no other can't maintain his balance to save his life fails all the sobriety tests but blew zeroes on the pbt he denied drinking and swears up and down he didn't do any drugs never mentions the diabetes we're all scratching our heads and i remember the blood sugar thing call medical to our location and sure as crap his blood sugar was 550 and he finally remembers that he hadn't taken insulin in eight hours my dad is an officer and he pulled someone over for speeding and running a red light and they said their breast implant burst he called ends to rush them to the hospital and turned out it did and it's actually very dangerous if they leak not the cop in this story but someone crashed into a tree on their way to work and most people have an excuse as to why they weren't at fault when they crash in this particular case the woman said an owl flew into her car and she swerved off the road into a tree anyway said cop gets into the car to move it for the tow truck and sure enough and al flies from the back seat past the officer's face and out the front window surprises the cop scared the crap out of him i imagine the owl was included in the diagram of the accident report i wanna see this diagram not a cop i am an attorney i had a client who agreed to cooperate in a criminal matter he was charged in a drive-by shooting as part of the cooperation he had to divulge where his gun came from he told the prosecutor that he found it in a tree the prosecutor got angry at the response he began to lambaste my client when the detective said wait i had a case where the shooter claimed to have hidden his gun in a tree but it wasn't there when we went to get it he asked my client where the tree was located same tree i was as surprised as the prosecutor that he had told the truth was doing a tour as an mp not my normal job but whole other story and we got called on a domestic at the house there is this huge corn fed guy about six feet four inches and 275 and a petite asian girl about 4 10 inches and 95 pounds soaking wet the whole house was in disarray and the call had come because of yelling heard by the neighbors she was crying and talking in an asian language that none of us understood and kept gesturing toward her huge husband he wasn't talking we wrap him up take him to the station and are trying to interview him but he's not saying much we intend to charge him with domestic assault we notice somewhere along the way that he has horrible welts all along the backs of his hands and along his forearms it took a lot of crying but we finally got out of him that his wife would beat him with wire coat hangers when she was mad and apparently that was pretty often he was too embarrassed to admit to anybody that he was being abused by his wife who was less than a third of his size we finally got it straightened out turned her over to the local police and barred her from base hopefully the guy got the help he needed not a cop family friend was pulled a guy over who was speeding profusely guy was obviously disheveled he said he was headed to the hospital because he had a tick on his dong cop was confused billy escorted him there then waited in the lobby to check on him see if he was blowing smoke after a while he asked the desk what was going on why it took so long to take the tick off his penis her reply it wasn't on it it was in it popped a college kid for crappy driving and pulled a hundred grams of weed off of him also a one-pound glass pipe shaped like a huge nail no biggie also find weed under the other college kids in the car driver falls on the sword and tells me all of it is his and lets his friends walk free i like this kid however during the search we find package addy is in the cellophane of a cigarette pack with the top melted closed a godamnit intensifies ask kid if he's dealing at ease at school tell him i'm aware of the prescription pill epidemic he says no one spends a huge yarn about how he only carries a few on him because he's had his orange pill bottle stolen so many times kid seems like a pretty good dude i decided to take the x-files approach supervisor tells me pursue charges for dealing blah blah blah i tell the kid he has one chance to prove he's telling the truth shows me the broken glass under his driver's seat from a vehicle burglary go to do better i follow behind him back to his dorm he lets me in and shows me the busted foot locker he kept them in under his bed dunno kinda weak supervisors telling me to hurry and then drop the axe tell him to do better he calls one of the soccer team assistants up and we meet him in the locker room shows me the little wooden locker which has a broken lock an assistant coach tells me they have replaced the lock on his cabinet three times campus security has numerous reports of medicine theft from this kid nice i call supervisor up and tell him i have no ground to pursue delivery charges poor bastard just kept getting his adorals jacked and being the big dumb meatball he was he started packaging them like that i end up talking to his best friend breaking up a house party a couple months later friend tells me kid is a stand-up guy who only uses weed due to extreme anxiety totally believable from my interaction with him and has never sold anything in his life friend thanked me and told me his buddies spoke well of me friend also tells me he had to drive his buddy to the hospital a few hours after i left from a panic attack due to the whole incident i felt bad for the kid so now whenever i see him smoking up in his car in the mall parking lot i just wave when do we put you in charge of all police former cop here i was behind a vehicle that couldn't stay in the lane kept swerving etc it was 1am and i think another drunk idiot on the road pull him over guy is a straight up butthole to me cursed me out yelling at me and i notice his speech is slurred i get him out to car and i can smell a fruity smell on his breath and he has to lean against the car for support i ask him how much he had to drink and he tells me to frick off by this point i'm ready to bring him in for a dui but i just had a feeling something wasn't right i called ems to come check him blood sugar was at 40 not drunk just a diabetic if i would have arrested him he probably would have died before i finished the paperwork go with your gut if something doesn't seem right not a cop but i did get stopped by one for eating a taco i worked at a community college in la that had a high school right next to it well there was a lot of drugs sold through the fence at the high school so there was always a cops driving up and down the street between the schools couldn't get a parking pass since i just worked at the school so i always parked on that street hit up taco bell for lunch and was sitting in my car eating my double decker tacos when a cop drove past next thing i know he's flipping a u-turn and heading right for me he slides to a stop driver window to drive a window and yells at what the heck do you think you're doing stunned i just said eating my lunch well he isn't buying it and says i'm hiding something i just hold up my taco and look so confused he burst out laughing and peeled out saw him a few times after that and he always waved and had the biggest grin on his face not a cop but i have a very common name and got pulled over for driving across the medium and there was a warrant out for me for rape and assault or something as it turns out a guy with the exact same name and birthday born in the same city as this and it took me about 20 minutes of pleading to get the officers to realize i did not match the description i deal with this dude every once in a while as it turns out our socials are off by one digit if i ever see him we are going to have a long talk good god how the heck it's like the opposite of having a look alike my first ever real call was for a flasher at the local park when i got there and finally found him it was a mentally impaired young man 16-17 who had a pair of headphones on in a full pooh bear i said hey man come here what the heck is going on you know you have to keep your pants on especially at the park he goes on to tell me he had bad itching down his pants and couldn't take it anymore so he had to rip his pants off and was running home to get help i said mom you couldn't make it home first he said no i hadn't in my pants ashore as crap according to more than one witnesses account he had been sitting in a sandbox playing at the park and accidentally on a nest of red ants that had crawled up his pant legs i love that this was your first call i'm running booking one night guy gets brought in for possessing a truly stupendous amount of drugs i am talking like two rubbermaid toads full of shrooms a huge bag of weed and enough h to overdose half the county well says hey i'm a d informant and they told me to make the drop so they could be there and raid the crap out of everybody and let me go for helping aha realite face left please guy is like i'm telling you dude fear gonna be sue whooper pee that you country retards fricked up fire bust whatever get in the holding cell and shut up about three hours later three guys show up d agents fear super p that our deputies fricked up fire bust i go back to the holding cell to let the guy out and he's just like thea super p huh yeah told you so former us coast guard and actually did law enforcement for those unfamiliar the carolinas in the states and especially wrightsville beach myrtle beach new topsail lockwoods folly along the ncsc border are overflowing with drunk and or stupid boaters during the summers especially with uncw nearby drunk college kids on the water everywhere doing reckless crap bwis illegal charters freaking around outside of the channel cutting bows speeding ignoring no wake zones and even the odd drug trafficking illegal firearms trafficking charges suffice it to say combined with hurricane season we were quite busy from may september one friday afternoon hour gets a call out on channel 16 like nine one one four boaters from a captain calling in a pontoon boat that has flipped and 20 young intoxicated males in the water we arrive on scene with another 47 feet from a nearby station and are fishing these drunk idiots from the water they pack 24 people on boat a 14-person pontoon boat and of course it flipped as we're pulling them out literally all of them were drunkenly threatening us with their daddy's law firm it was like a crappy 90s teen mtv romecon come to life we just rolled our eyes zip tied them didn't pack enough cuffs and 90 percent of them were combative drunk even seeing the pistols on our hips rifles shotgun slings turns out it was an entire frat of future lawyers studying at ellen whose fathers were all lawyers as well still didn't save them from the local u.s attorney and reckless operation of a boat bwi and licensed captain etc charges still was surreal with dozens of drunk 20-year-old dudes wailing and telling us their daddy would sue us don't even get me started on jet skier stories not a cop but i had a run in with one that was really funny once when i was 18 i was on a double date with a friend and we stepped out of a restaurant to smoke a cop came up and started harassing us telling us there had been break-ins into cars in the area eventually he said he needed to pat us down and he pulled a brown paper bag out of my friend's pocket he got a smug look on his face and asked so what's in here huh my friend said the emancipation proclamation with a completely straight face the cop opened the bag pulled out a small booklet got embarrassed and let us go my friend had been to the lincoln museum earlier that day and did actually have a small copy of the emancipation proclamation in his pocket mid-july and like 2008 young kid going 93 in a 55 i swing and he immediately pulls over approaching the car his first words before i can even start speaking my dog died he hung himself i gotta get back before my mom gets home what jpg anyway he calls other family members his aunt uncle and two cousins come out to the stop and between all their sobbing they verify that the dog had actually hopped over the fence on a leash runner and couldn't get back over everyone's crying now they showed me a photo on their phone apparently they found the dog and called the kid at work and he just left i didn't even bother verifying further than that cousin drove the kids car back so they could take care of the dog and prepare for mom some said that i should have wrote him but losing an animal sucks enough he knew he fricked up and adding financial burden to him wasn't going to help him or me i'm glad there are cops out there who understand both how horrible losing a dog is and how financially hard it is to get a ticket as a kid insurance is already too high of course kids should be more careful and it's not the cops fault they got pulled over but you did the right thing in this scenario i was driving with my fiance and we went through a roadblock where they checked registration and crap and we get to the cops and they ask for our registration i'm sitting in the passenger seat so i open up the glover box and right there is a clear and marked baggy filled to the brim with catnip i completely forgot it was there and just froze why died i turned to look at the cop shining his light through my open window and he's frozen too just staring at the baggy with this look on his face like really i just started immediately professing omg i swear to god this is catnip you can take it and smell it or test it or whatever like i swear and at this point it's just so ridiculous that i start cracking up and the cop takes it and reasonably deduces i'm telling the truth and he starts laughing and calls his partner over and tells her what happened and they both just cackled away for a minute and sent us on our way cat weed good thing they weren't cat cops my dad was a cop and my favorite story of his goes like this he's a young cop in a rough neighborhood it's so late that the stop lights are flashing red meaning treat it like a stop sign out of nowhere this pink caddy goes rolling through the intersection my dad pulls him over a big black dude was driving the caddy had fur interior dies in the mirror a real pimp car if you know what i mean my dad goes so do you know you ran that light back there and this guy says officer i do believe i got between the flashes my dad was laughing so hard he had to let the guy go i can just imagine the dude's thought process when he saw the flashing red light cop here got a call of a domestic dispute that sounded very heated and a lot of banging was heard i get a scene and i can hear someone yelling and swearing and brawling doesn't sound good at all guy answers the door shut off and angry but seems bewildered as to why police had been called he told me he was building ikea furniture sounds like the most bulls thing but we enter see the new ikea furniture half set up and no one else is home the color me surprised oh man totally been there before how ha this was my favorite story from my fourth grade teacher not a cop she went to her cousin's wedding in mid-july the cousin had overestimated how much champagne they would need at the reception and was giving away bottles to anyone who was interested so my teacher took three and put them in the back seat of her car again this was a hot summer day in july after saying their goodbyes my teacher her husband and her parents piled into the car and pulled out onto the highway where two bottles burst open spraying champagne everywhere and causing quite a ruckus of course while this was happening the car was swerving as the driver was also getting bathed in sparkling champagne so it came as no surprise that as soon as they collected themselves they saw the familiar flashing lights of a state trooper and pulled over according to my teacher the first thing the cop said was i'm not gonna ask if you've been drinking because i can smell it from here my teacher tried explaining what had happened but the cop wouldn't hear of it and ordered everyone out of the car that's when the cop saw that everyone both drivers and passengers were dressed in their finery but soaked with champagne and looking quite shaken a cursor research showed the open bottles but the cop still insisted on a quick sobriety check just to make sure that must have been a sight police of reddit what is the absolute worst crime scene you've come across not a cop but i am in college to become one one of my professors at the time worked homicide as a lieutenant at the precinct and brought in crime scene photos all the time to show us on the projector one was of this 17 year old kid who'd had his head caved in on the early 2000s it was a pretty big case at the time in philadelphia he worked construction part-time and walked home every friday with a couple hundred dollars in cash for his pay his best friends one girl and two guys all in the 16 18 range wanted to make a quick buck the girl lured him to this regular meet-up spot for freaking near some woods when he started taking his clothes off the three friends jumped him the 18 year old guy if i remember right had a hammer and his brother had a cinder block kid didn't stand a chance his parents had to identify him based on the clothes he was wearing because there was practically nothing left of his face or hands defensive wounds the brother got tried as an adult and got 25 to life the 18 year old got life the girl got 15 for ratting out the other two yes this is the case of jason sweeney probably the four suicides i've worked my very first a man who had recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer decided to prematurely end his life he jumped in the early morning from a five-story parking structure he landed in such a way that his brain pretty much popped out of his head when we found him his brain was fully intact but sitting in a puddle of blood exactly 23 feet from his body he left a note apologizing to whomever finds my body and asking that his wife and daughter were cared for the second we got a suspicious circumstances call regarding a possible explosion next to a baseball stadium it was a little after midnight upon arrival and not seeing any smoke or flames i got out and walked around there were big tents set up for a game the next day i saw what looked like a person sitting in a chair in the middle of a tent i called out to him and he didn't answer as i approached i put my flashlight on him and nearly soiled myself the top half of his head was just gone i walked under the tent and noticed a shotgun sitting next to him as i was calling it in i felt something like rain hit the top of my head i shined my flashlight up and the inside of the top of the tent was absolutely coated with blood and brain matter he did not leave a note i still have nightmares about that one the third we got a report of a single gunshot in a field next to a church i had a trainee at the time it's about two o'clock we drive next to the field and pretty quickly spotlight a body laying next to a lone tree pretty much the same thing as the last one top half of the head missing single shot 12 gauge sitting next to the body he had sat down leaned against the tree and put the shotgun in his mouth brains and various red goo all in the branches of the tree no note and the most recent one and rarita dormitory had reported a bad smell to a maintenance worker the maintenance worker keyed into a room on the first floor after knocking and getting no answer he said when he opened the door he recognized the smell and immediately called us a paraplegic student had committed suicide by overdosing on prescription medication we found him in his wheelchair with his head in the sink apparently he was vomiting into the sink and the sink had clogged up his head was partially submerged in vomit and as the ac was off he was very very ripe i couldn't seem to get that smell out of my uniform no matter how many times i washed it he didn't leave a note but we found out later he sent a text message to a girl he was fond of she ignored it thinking he was just being dramatic the mental health care system in my state is severely broken overburdened and rife with bureaucracy not my story but of friends he's receives a call and responds about a single vehicle crash with only one survivor and two victims here's what happened three high school students and childhood friends were driving to a gun range firing area the one in the back had a shotgun in his hands they go over a pothole the shotgun fires and instantly kills the driver the driver's dead weight hits the gas and they slam into a tree the passenger wearing no seat belt is ejected through the windshield and impacts a tree breaking his neck and crushing his skull they were two weeks from graduating high school the surviving friend now attends therapy medicated and has attempted suicide at least once my mom works in the mental health field and treats people with severe conditions she began treating a police officer who is severely traumatized from a crime scene he was called to here's what happened he receives a call from a woman crying hysterically he responds to the home and walks in the woman's husband is standing over her dead son the man's stepson and this guy is rooting cutting the kid's body apart with a knife he is also muttering to himself there's a shotgun and two expended shells on the floor apparently this guy who was a severe alcoholic and drug user he did pretty well however he also had paranoid delusions and after going off his meds became convinced that his stepson was being controlled by miniature aliens living inside his body and it was his duty to find these aliens and kill them so he called his stepson into the kitchen and killed him with two shotgun blasts to the chest and then proceeded to try to find the aliens the mother returns home from work sees what happened and immediately dials 9-1-1 apparently this guy had killed the kid hours beforehand and had been picking at his body and crap for the entire afternoon trying to find the aliens the saddest scene was a fire where a number of children had died there is nothing as sad and disturbing as seeing a lifeless child the most grotesque scene was an obese man who died on the toilet and fell forward onto the lino floor he lay there for three days we had to peel him off the floor and what used to be his face and chest was now a large amount of maggots and goop the scene that made me most angry was the home where the big fat husband had thrown his tiny wife around the place and put her head through the plosterboard of a wall the sight of her cowering and him standing there laughing made my blood boil fortunately he violently resisted arrest he didn't think he could be arrested in his own home the most frustrating scene was the debauchery victim who was too afraid to name her attackers because they were connected to the ira that feeling when you can do nothing to bring such a heinous man to justice my father was a cop for 25 years he's seen some crap in his time here's what he thinks was his worst crime scene a domestic murder where a husband attacked and killed his wife with hammer blows to the head she was discovered by her children ages 4 and 7 who told their neighbors who called the police he was found on an industrial estate nearby in his car having expired thorough breathing exhaust fumes worst accident scene a seven and a half ton goods vehicle lost control on a motorway crossed all three lanes went through the central reservation hitting several vehicles on the opposite carriageway one of these vehicles was a mercedes sprinter van the impact flattened the mercedes from the driver's side across the vehicle's back the passenger walked away with a minor head injury the driver's body had been stretched to approximately nine feet long due to the impact force the occupants of the seven and a half tonner were both dead the impact being on front driver's side corner diagonally across the cab the driver was decapitated from his chin up the passenger was decapitated from the middle of her nose up extracting the remains was an interesting experience my dad was in a wreck like that big transport truck crate at his car but my dad walks away from the wreck with minor injuries because he saw it coming and had the presence of mind to literally unfasten his safety belt and jump into the passenger side seat it he had and he'd have been a red smear four uncles physically shaming two minor females none of the uncles knew the other three were doing it of course now that the young girls are in their thirties and have denounced the actions of their uncles they've been banished from the family for telling the family secret oh my god we had a kid late teens hang himself on halloween on a hill visible to the whole neighborhood of course everyone thought it was a prop until someone complained that it was in poor taste or decided to check it out also a suicide with a high-powered rifle i was dispatched to go check on the guy because he was sending vaguely upsetting texts to his wife as i was on my way i kept getting updates that the texts were escalating and finally a goodbye tell our son this isn't his fault crap guy shot himself under the chin as i was pulling up at the house the shot split the front of his head and two there was no surface in the garage that wasn't covered in brain matter i can remember the smell of gunsmoke in the air and the tiny plops of brain falling from the ceiling the absolute worst part was when the coroner was examining the body on scene we had to put him on his stomach as we did the split sides of his face were in such a way that they were splayed out on either side and both eyes were looking back at us i still have nightmares about that one when i got back to the office to gear down for end of shift i found that i had some of his brains on the back of my vest carrier that went straight into the garbage also not a scene percent but we recovered an avalanche victim and found a gopro on his helmet gopros were still a novelty at the time so we weren't quite sure what we'd find i watched it and sure enough it caught the whole thing the worst part was moments after we was buried he realized what was going on and began screaming i had to listen to the whole thing in case he screamed out any messages for the family or anything the screams were muffled inside the waterproof case but still horrifying danish cop here some years ago a coked up driver hit a woman in central copenhagen she was hit with about 120 kmh while crossing the street with her boyfriend in hand her body flew about 100 meters down the street on second thought i have removed parts of the description out of courtesy when the first patrol car arrived at the place of impact the boyfriend was sitting beside the body and caressing her head they had to be three officers to pull him away from the woman the driver was a well-known man that had done something close to this before two underage danish girls was in the back seat of the car he hit her with i ended up in a fight with one of them cause she wouldn't stop phoning different people while we still were chasing the driver in the area around the car oh and he could have killed about 10 people about 20 seconds before he hit her he drove through a red light at the busiest pedestrian crossing in denmark it was about 0-1 0-0 on a saturday night and it was the night the christmas beer was released but he got a sentence of 4 years and six months the longest sentence in danish history for a hit and run prisons in denmark only served three stroke four of the sentence and at the weekend he got to go home from prison in the last year of the sentence it's only a couple of months since the newspapers wrote that he hadn't returned to prison after a weekend at home that's a lenient danish prison system for you i have two but both not crime scenes first decapitated body in a one-vehicle rtc in concert kodaram england crashed into a stone wall and overturned somehow decapitating the driver second was a sudden death in a flat the occupant in the downstairs flat complained of a leaking drain from upstairs it turned out the person upstairs had died rolled out of bed and was decomposing on the floor the leak was the various body fluids from the deceased it wasn't all i ever saw but certainly the worst my career was effectively ended by a lady that got hit by a car it basically ripped her whole face off except her eyes basically from the nose down you could see her vocal cords she was convulsing on the ground and a crowd of people were standing around her i was first there and she was still alive there was absolutely nothing i could do for her at that point it was obvious she was bleeding out i got down on the pavement cradled her in my arms and told her she would be okay while i tried to stop some of the bleeding i knew i was lying but i wanted her to not feel alone and scared when she died she passed in my arms as the medics showed up they worked on her for a bit but they called it before the chopper landed two weeks later i quit i've had severe ptsd since then i drink a lot to self-medicate i go to therapy i've lost almost all of my friends and several jobs i take pills every day for depression sorry for the vivid description but you asked i can still smell it see it the works what a brave gentle loving gesture thank you for sharing this story my friend passed away in a car accident alone and in a foreign country it eases my pain to think someone might have been there for them like you did to that woman more love and strength to you private security here was patrolling the exterior of my building when i smelled it once you smell death you never forget it what's worse it was coming from the trash compactor we have a couple nice restaurants who toss their garbage into the compactor and a lot of homeless nearby one of them saw the cooks tossing the garbage the night before and climbed in to grab it however the compactor is one of those that will activate when the door closes either he didn't know that or the wind got the door holy crap the thought of being in that situation seeing the compactor come down knowing you're about to be crushed not a cop emt had a call for pedestrian hit by car on rural road we haul butt over there and find a 12-year-old female in the road with her dad standing over her she was riding her bicycle in her driveway with her whole family out in the lawn rode into the road and was immediately hit by an older man driving a large old cadillac the car was driving at 55-60 miles per hour and because of the bicycle this girl hits the windshield but her head hits the passenger side column the girl doesn't die on impact and is instead bleeding out through the large piece of her skull that has been half caved in the girl can't talk but she's blinking and making sounds her dad who had been drinking for the better part of the day sees the whole thing he immediately runs out into the road and starts doing the only thing he's ever seen from tv cpr thanks to his woefully drunk version of cpr he not only crushes her ribs and lungs but effectively helps her bleed out faster to make things worse i have a brand new paramedic with me who has never seen anything like this almost as soon as we arrive this girl has no pulse and blood is everywhere a volunteer firefighter showed up on scene and is trying to pull the dad off the girl dad and the firefighter get in a full-on fight we get there assess her and try to control the bleeding but she's gone no pulse massive trauma no lung sounds head caved in laying in a pool of blood bigger than she is her whole body is just broken another m's unit shows up and it takes me and the other crew to pull my partner away from the girl who is grey as soon as we pull him away the father begins screaming about losing his little girl and runs into his house the older man in the caddy realizing she's dead begins yelling oh my god i've killed a little girl then things get worse the old man in the caddy who hit her falls down on the pavement and has a massive heart attack he dies an hour later meanwhile dad is inside the house drinking some kind of whiskey as fast as he can before coming back out bottle in hand completely out of his mind and attacking things in his yard the girl isn't an only child she's the second youngest of six and all of them were outside watching this go down other units arrive on scene we end up transporting dad the driver of the caddy and the volunteer firefighter injuries sustained from holding back dad i go out of my way to avoid that stretch of road my partner quit a week later been to a few calls of dead bodies turning up at the water treatment facility you think normal dead body smell is bad try a guy who has spent a week soaking in waste water dumped out onto a conveyor belt also went to a call of a guy a vet with ptsd who shot himself in the head in front of his wife when she demanded he go to a wedding the rest of the family was in the other room and by rest i mean about 15 other people apparently the last thing the wife said was were going to the wedding pack your bags and threw a suitcase at him well his glock was in it and he simply pulled it out and shot himself right in the temple dude really didn't like weddings i guess just remembered a guy who got run over by a fedex truck was basically the glove from the waist down his right foot was by his right ear and his leg was straight also his disc was by his face another guy on pcp got into a wreck had an almost completely amputated right foot shattered right femur and a broken left ankle took five of us to drag him to the ground and hold him till paramedics could hit him with a sedative he actually was able to take about five or six steps before we got him on the ground i rode in the ambulance with him the medic kept picking you oh his foot that was attached only by skin and letting it drop one time he said oh w just kept thinking now mother sucker your foot is off you have no clue how much you just freaked up your life my dad is currently sitting right by me he has 20 years active patrol duty and then seven of sheriff well one time we got a call from guy saying his girlfriend broke his dong obviously we were skeptical so we go along with ambulance and fire to their house and walk into his girlfriend sobbing and shaking in the corner we walk into the bedroom and let me tell you dongs might not be able to break but this was a very broken dong turns out they had gotten drunk and she wanted to hop on his dong by jumping from the top of their headboard onto him yeah didn't work she bent his dong in half by the time we got there it had turned black and people and the bottom part was swelled but the top part was just flopping i felt bad for that guy the other one was a call we got from this woman saying mrs is 90 years old and we haven't seen her in seven weeks can you preform a wellness check this was in the middle of august after a couple streaks of 100 degree weather seven weeks is a long time so me and rich his partner go over in low and behold no visible ac unit in this 100 year old house so we load up our noses with vicks and open the door yep the vix didn't help that house was well over 90 degrees fahrenheit this lady had basically melted into a sludgy mess with some human feature still visible on her couch the vapor her body was giving off was on the windows like condensation rich and i both threw up and called the coroner who basically had to remove this lady with her couch cushions it was bad my dad was a cop and the worst case he ever had was while he was a detective they caught a local teacher with something hateful cds of cp the most awful thing about it that you have to go through it all to see if you can identify any adults in the pictures to try and get them busted freaking sick and if a child is identified the parent and child have to go through every photo and confirm it it's horrible shameless plugs since this place is a freaking graveyard on the front page here's an older one submitted last month courtesy of you candelacrisher comma an officer who volunteers at my work from time to time told me that his worst experience was during his first year on the job apparently there was a car accident where the driver was wedged halfway out of the overturned car unfortunately since the car was on fire they couldn't help the man out and had to stand there and watch him burn to death while he screamed for them to help him and another thanks you corpse husband pastor and you slash 17 herp derp comma recall goes out for reported screaming it's mid-january important later my father and another office respond to find a known deranged individual very long rap sheet and has been in and out of psychiatric care for years sitting on the front porch holding a double-sided wood splitting axe steam is coming up off of the grass and there are chunks lying all over the lawn upon interviewing the suspect he admits that he and a friend were playing poker the suspect was losing nearly every hand and came to the conclusion that his friend was rage ain't southern for ghost and was cheating him the suspect grabbed the axe and chased his friend outside and hacked him into dozens of pieces thus causing the warm blood to create steam on the grass my dad tells the suspect that he needs to get in the police car because its agent proof he said the suspect dropped the axe and sprinted to get in the back seat while thanking them for helping him tl dr my father convinced an axe murder to get in his cop car because it's ghost proof he thought his friend was a ghost but they chained my friend and his dad are volunteer firefighters i was staying the night and they got a call at 1am they knew it would be a long call based off of info from their radios so i went with them according to a witness a motorcyclist going about 120 miles per hour was going around a wet corner at midnight past a semi-truck he leaned too much into the corner slid across the road still on his bike hit a tree he disengaged from his bike when he hit the tree and skidded in front of the semi where the semis made him like spreading peanut butter on toast i stayed in the truck with the windows down but could see everything due to all the flashing lights semi-driver was a wreck crying and sobbing saying that it happened so fast that he couldn't do anything i got to watch my friend and his dad scrape a guy off the road drive safe guys especially motorcyclists a friend of mine's dad is a cop he told the story of one time he was called to investigate a fire that was lit in an alleyway this was midday he'd yet to eat lunch and had skipped breakfast and upon arriving to the scene noticed a particularly appetizing aroma coming from the fire his mouth was involuntarily watering turns out the fire was an ignited carpet rolled up with a dead person inside of it journalist not police but i was often at the same sorts of scenes one partial decapitation in a car accident a drunk kid hit a small car at high speed tore the top completely off driver's body was still heaving and convulsing in the front seat brains and tongues splattered over groceries in the back seat two hugely obese drug dealer goes into his attic to retrieve his stash this is in georgia in the summer collapses from the heat and dies takes neighbors a few days to notice the smell takes a few more before they figure out where exactly it's coming from the police had to cut a hole in the roof of the house to pull his bloated corpse out he fell apart into goo as they were doing it the smell was insane even a quarter mile down the road once the roof was opened up three woman who had been killed by a serial killer unofficially the cops on the scene said they had seen this sort of thing a number of times so they thought it was a serial killing was never proven she was a prostitute and he had beaten her to death and then tightly packed all of her orifices with dirt before dumping her 4. train versus car a mom tried to beat a train with her kids in the car train was too fast when i got to the scene there was a child's head just sitting on the ground completely normal except for the fact that his was detached and the body was nowhere in sight people who try to beat trains are idiots police over it what is the absolute worst crime scene you've come across i have two but both not crime scenes first decapitated body in a one-vehicle rtc in concert coderum england crashed into a stone wall and overturned somehow decapitating the driver second was a sudden death in a flat the occupant in the downstairs flat complained of a leaking drain from upstairs it turned out the person upstairs had died rolled out of bed and was decomposing on the floor the leak was the various body fluids from the deceased private security here was patrolling the exterior of my building when i smelled it once you smell death you never forget it what's worse it was coming from the trash compactor we have a couple nice restaurants who toss their garbage into the compactor and a lot of homeless nearby one of them saw the cooks tossing the garbage the night before and climbed in to grab it however the compactor is one of those that will activate when the door closes either he didn't know that or the wind got the door holy crap the thought of being in that situation seeing the compactor come down knowing you're about to be crushed my dad was a cop and the worst case he ever had was while he was a detective they caught a local teacher with something hateful cds of cp the most awful thing about it that you have to go through it all to see if you can identify any adults in the pictures to try and get them busted freaking sick and if a child is identified the parent and child have to go through every photo and confirm it it's horrible a friend of mine's dad is a cop he told the story of one time he was called to investigate a fire that was lit in an alleyway this was midday he'd yet to eat lunch and had skipped breakfast and upon arriving to the scene noticed a particularly appetizing aroma coming from the fire his mouth was involuntarily watering turns out the fire was an ignited carpet rolled up with a dead person inside of it i'm not a cop but a good friend of mine is and he recently told me a story a few weeks ago he got a call to a homicide a 25 year old male had killed a 63 year old male the victim was a father to a 17 year old high school girl the girl had recently began dating a known thug drug dealer the girl's parents had tried to tell her she couldn't date him but she did it anyways as an act of rebellion long story short the guy stabbed the father about 30 times with a chef's knife found in the owner's kitchen after an argument ensued the argument was over him not dating his daughter looks like dad was right when my buddy the cop showed up he said the whole kitchen was literally covered in the man's blood he said the corpse looked like a sliced cow carcass both the girl and her mother were sitting in their dad husband's blood crying hysterically and this kids is why you listen to your parents my stepfather worked traffic homicide for years and encountered any number of frankly gruesome things but the story i remember really sticking out in my mind involved a car hitting electric pole on a rainy night the car's occupant had in the course of the accident become decapitated had [ __ ] completely off the electric pole was severely damaged one of the lines breaking and falling down to rest in a puddle which now also contained the severed head the electrical charge was apparently causing the head to bounce and sizzle in a very disconcerting fashion to put it lightly not completely what opie is looking for but a horrible scene nonetheless my grandfather's friend was a truck driver for many years and on one night while he was driving a car swerved across the median and hit his truck head-on killed everyone inside the car and to make it worse they had just crossed into america legally so this small sedan had about six more people than it should have held stuffed into hollowed-out places so when he hit the car a red mist just exploded out he had people stuck up under the hood of his truck and it was a huge mess fricked him up for a while probably fricked up any responding officers too i had an old co-worker who used to drive the 18-wheeler for our company and had a man commit suicide by walking out in front of his truck he could no longer drive a ride in a vehicle after that would ride his bike or walk to work i hope your grandfather's friend ended up being somewhat okay after i'm sure it's hard to come back from that i once went to a scene where our ex-boyfriend show up at the house where the girl lived he knocked and then started firing a shotgun through the door hitting a toddler he then went in and shot the girl's mother i still remember chunks of flesh and underarm hair stuck to the wall short the father and then left the girl was out for the evening he then left the gun and a suicide knot at the top of a bridge he went on the run instead of killing himself and was captured shortly thereafter by the marshals fricked obscene my father-in-law is a retired state trooper he was called to respond to the two-vehicle accident near his home that's where he spent his final minutes with his wife before she died trapped in her vehicle a bunch come to mind hard to rank them because they are also unique one was a 95 year old lady who lived alone and stopped answering phone calls from her son he went to her house and found her about a week later she died while in the bathtub her head was resting on the edge of the tub looking up with her mouth extremely wide open she had hundreds of bugs pouring out of her eyes nose and mouth it was straight out of a horror movie you could smell it from the front porch i felt really bad for her son no one should ever have to see their mother like that posting on the behalf of my friend sitting next to me worst crime scene i've been to was six-month-year-old baby being thrown out a six-story window because the mother believed she was possessed by the devil this is a story i got from the local police lieutenant during an interview for a college paper it was halloween night and my campus has a somewhat notorious halloween party throughout town the police actually walk the streets in riot gear that night and normally get a lot of nice costumes dudes anyway they get a call to break up a fight at a house party they arrive and are trying to push through all the drunk people to find who's actually fighting they got to the fight which was actually taking place the next house over on the sidewalk but a second too late they watched as one kid pushed the other in front of a speeding tow truck basically causing this kid's body to explode into a bloody mess i think the kid who pushed him got involuntary manslaughter or something like that attended scene or tipsy of a 13 year old who was hunting with his 11 year old brother and accidentally shot him dead center in the back of the head with a slug meant for deer the kid looked bad enough when i got there and had already expired his face looked like a fassa hacker if you want context feel really really bad for the brother as he attempted to do cpr and stuff obviously in a panic as his brother was likely just expelling blood everywhere and not actually still alive this poor kid will not only remember shooting his little brother but actually seeing the aftermath and putting his face on it obviously far worse for the kid than anyone else this one's a bit of a cliche and not really a crime scene few months old doa elderly women with no family just two dogs family out of state asked for us to check on her got into her apartment she had been dead a few months other than the smell the sight of her eating off fingers by the starving dogs that were there i'm going to guess you mean a cliche a clique is a group of people tragic though old folks living alone seems to not be a good idea cop friend of mine was first on the scene to the monkey ripping that woman's face off in ct he had serious ptsd after that i work at a police department reviewing old cases i'd say the worst i've ever come across so far was an older man who was found dead in his home by his son doesn't sound too bad at first until you see realize that he was found kneeling next to his bed pants around his knees playboy on the bed in front of him and dong still in his hand dead two days and found by his son midfap actually you would be amazed by how many corpses are found photographed partially or fully naked a lot of them are found in the bathroom with their pants down collapsed onto the floor with poop in the toilet on the floor on the person i'd say 80 percent of our untimelies are found partially naked with poop somewhere nearby currently just to volunteer but hoping to hold the official title and roll soon a few months back there was a call out to someone who had jumped in front of a train fairly certain it was done purposefully but no one knows for sure and i haven't followed up on it lady had her legs severed and her stomach area was caved inwards sort of like in those cartoons where their stomachs are flat against the road after being run over but with more intestines and stuff that had burst out of various exit points from the pressure was given the option to go home for the day after that but decided to stay some guy later in the day called us good for nothing pigs which made me realize how quick people are to judge us without even knowing what we do or have to deal with was very new to it at this point not a good day not me by my police trade school teacher told me a story of such a fricked up crime scene he was a part of there was this beautiful woman could have been a model and she was naked in the floor of her hotel room her head not attached to her body and blood everywhere the entire hotel was a crime scene and my teacher kept seeing cops sneak in to see the hot dead chick and my teacher who had command was furious he kicked them all out and tried to do his job until his higher up i think a lieutenant came in by asking around i heard the hot headless chick was here since he was a higher rank the second he stepped in he took command of the scene and my teacher never did find out what happened except some cops care about seeing a hot corpse than doing their job i'm pretty sure being headless takes a corpse from hot to not the icicle man outside of smaller city in idaho hop 27k is a kind of shanty town affectionately known as welfare the only business is a little convenient store a lady runs out of her house welfare it has at least a 90 percent unemployment rate anyways it's the dead of winter and around minus 20 degrees f get a call about a missing persons a man of 70 hasn't been seen or heard from in over a month get at his trailer home and come across the following scene man's gas had been shut off due to lack of payment but electricity was still on man had water bed with an electric heater to warm the water looks like man had been stabbed on the bed he rotted down to essentially a soup-like consistency his liquefied remains had dribbled off the edge of the heated water bed to form intricate icicles off the edge the icicle man was the absolute worst my dad used to work the he told me about how they figured out the cartels used to use stillborns and orphans to traffic drugs they would kill the kids and preserve them so that they could stitch c and h inside their bodies they would hand the stuffed kids off to a girl that looked like a mom and they would pretend their kid was sleeping when they were crossing a border went on for years until a drug dog attacked one of the stuffed infants and sea snowed everywhere i was on vacation in tokyo a long time ago strolling through the streets one day i came to a train crossing and several pedestrians stopped as the train approached one guy a mid-fifties salaryman and a cheap suit turned to me put his finger over his lips and said s-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-hhh then jumped in front of the train it happened so fast i couldn't tell what happened it was like he was there looking me in the eyes then he took a step back and was replaced by a train still shakes me to this day even though i have no idea what happened or why there was something casual about it he wasn't totally insane or disheveled he looked like a guy on his way home from work obligatory not a cop but one of the deputies in the county i grew up in was the first on scene at the fatal one car accident where his only daughter was the driver not a cop but i work in a police station in a civilian position one of the worst described to me by a co-worker was early in her career a group of boys probably around 12 were playing in an empty lot they had a jerry can of propane and were dipping a stick with a rag wrapped around it into the can then lighting it on fire anyways one of the boys managed to get some of the propane on his shoe and lit his shoe on fire he bent down to pat the fire on his shoe out and one of his friends thought it would be funny to toss the rest of the jerrycan onto his friend the fire traveled up from his shoe and the boy was engulfed in seconds my colleague arrived only minutes later but it was too late she was ordered to remain with him until he arrived at the hospital and to stay with him until the coroner arrived because though he was still alive when she arrived it was clear that he wasn't going to make it and she needed to do continuity on the body she said when they performed the autopsy the only part of his body that hadn't sustained second or third degree burns were the bottoms of his feet my colleague says the hardest this she has ever done was traveling to the hospital with him and listen to him beg to see his parents again as they both knew he was going to die i'm not a cop but i accidentally ran into a crime scene once my neighbors down the street had always been pretty strange it was some super aloof grandparents their seriously messed up daughter who is rarely around and their daughter's daughter about three years younger than me who i always babysat for free usually because they were pretty poor anyway one day me and the girl are coming home from school she's probably nine and i was around 12. her mom is bipolar with psychosis probably on the skit so effective end and has been dating around with guys not much better i leave for my house and she walks into this apartment and then a minute later there's a gunshot everyone around starts going for the complex including my parents to investigate and me following along a few minutes after i got a small glimpse there was a ton of chaos the police had been called the girl is screaming from inside the apartment my parents are trying to block me from seeing of blood and brains all over the wall i found out later that apparently her mom's boyfriend was waiting at the table with a handgun and blew his brains out when she walked in in front of her and her mom i saw her like once after that but the kid was totally messed up from abuse and the trauma i don't envy the officers who had to talk to them and check out the scene my dad was a copper in manchester uk so he and his probationary partner probationer means an officer being trained get a call to a missing and concerned for welfare in an old people's gated community it's july and pretty warm the old guy hadn't been seen for about five weeks my dad kicks the door into the house and is hit by what he calls a wall of rotting corpse smell the probationer officer asks to go in and my dad says it's not something you need to see at this stage in your training ignoring his advice she walks in and instantly throws up the corpse has turned black tongue swollen all this crap the coroner comes round and they start to lift the body off of the bed upon lifting the corpse the back skin falls off and the kidneys drop out onto the bed my dad threw up on the body and the coroner apparently laughs of nine years of service that was the worst thing he ever saw when my father was a rookie almost 60 years ago he was called to a trailer park by concerned neighbors it was winter and the poor family had tried to heat their trailer with the kitchen oven the snow from the roof melted iced over the windows and effectively sealed it when my father and his partner forced the door they found the bodies of young children and the father the mother was no longer rational from the effects of co2 she was on her hands and knees in the kitchen trying to scrub the vomit of her dead children off the floor with their bodies scattered around her pop saw world war ii from normandy beach to berlin i asked him what was the worst thing he had seen while in uniform i was not expecting a story about a nj trailer park my anatomy professor worked in a for a while i'm not sure in what capacity he wasn't a medical doctor or nurse but one morning he was working and this guy walks in torn clothes and covered in dirt and blood with his shirt full of something squidgy and leaves holding the edges to keep everything contained like when little kids use shirts to carry legos the guy drove himself to the hospital but he is disoriented and isn't making any sense but they quickly realize his intestines are in his shirt well partly in his shirt and partly in him they get him in surgery and clean up what they can stuffing it back in but some of it gets removed because it's too damaged or dirty or whatever turns out he was out hunting early in the morning by himself he had climbed a tree to get away hunting platform or something i don't remember what it was called and i don't hunt sorry the steps up to the platform were mounted into the tree not a ladder but sort of metal l shapes designed to hold a foot and keep it from slipping off except at some point he did slip off and he caught himself on the hook step with his belly he hit the ground lay there for a bit and then realized his insides were trying to be outside so he scooped them up as best he could and made his way to his car where he drove himself to the air not sure if it was the worst but definitely the most gratifying once i found out the details as to what happened went to a house for a call of a dog loose upon entering the house it looked like a slasher film blood smeared all over the walls looks like large arterial squirts all over the place on the ceiling etc the homeowner had towels wrapped around his leg and arms and was at the point of passing out all the while a happy pit bull covered in blood was outside looking at me wagging his tail got the guy medical attention and retrieved the dog turns out the homeowner was beating his dog trying to get it to become fight worthy dog turned around and made the homeowner his bee sad that the dog was put down dog seemed like it could have been a great dog if it was given a proper chance in a loving home my stepdad was a lieutenant defective in our midwestern town of about 25 000 people he was in charge of this case where a serial killer stopped on his way through down to tie up violate and got a 16 year old girl in her own bed after school my stepdad stayed in the bedroom with her body through all the forensics and evidence collection he had teenage kids of his own at the time the killer went on to florida to do the same thing to a 14-year-old girl this was in the 80s so it took some time before they were able to connect the two cases eventually the killer was caught after shooting a police officer in texas he was given the death penalty this was the biggest case of my stepdad's life he has stayed in touch with the girls family over the last 30 years just a few months ago the case was on one of those criminal investigation shows where they interviewed my stepdad he went back to the police station he's been retired for 20 years and had to go through all the old documents and photos even after all this time he still came home teary-eyed and exhausted my dad told me about a scene he had to go out to once this guy lives with his wife and her mother-in-law and his son the husband and wife were into prescription pills and had a bad habit one day the mother went to pick the son from school and the father and his mil got into it he grabbed his rifle shot her then went outside into the woods into a stand with a clear view of the house he called his wife and told her what he did when the wife pulled up she ran inside and then ran back out she must have seen her husband from afar and told her son to get down as soon as she did her husband took the top of her head off walked up to the car and fired a couple more rounds into it he then shot himself in the head and the sun witness it all years back my criminal justice professor told me the worst two he's been to a guy had been pinned in between the platform and a train after accidentally slipping they had to call the family to the scene because the only thing holding him together was the train once the train was moved he would die he had to watch them say their goodbyes then there was an escalator incident where a little girl's arm was sucked into the escalator halfway he said the screams alone were horrifying and then when they removed her from the escalator she had no meat left on the bone below the elbow ugh the train is horrible but i think it's the escalator that gets me this just confirms my fear of escalators isn't that irrational my husband is an mp some parents came home with their baby in the car seat and decided the best place to put the baby in the car seat is on the stove when they walked by the stove turned on and the car seat caught in fire they didn't know till the baby was screaming when my husband got there the car seat was an unrecognizable melted plastic blob in the middle of the road another time a teenage son beat a mother with a curtain shower rod with the curtain still attached then he locked her in a dog cage my criminal justice professor told me this one his co-worker followed a man who was suspected of kidnapping a little boy into his home the co-worker makes his way into the man's bedroom where he finds him freaking the said little boy with a gun pointed at the back of his head the man looks at the officer and grins as he pulls the trigger killing the little boy only solace i took and it was that the officer shot him almost immediately after not a cop but saw the helmet with the visor closed on the highway perfectly sitting on the road 100 meters after the helmet is a motorcycle another 50 meters down the road lies the rest of the body completely intact except for the head i thought wtf know head how turns out the motorcycle driver crashed in such a way that his head got stuck between two steel lines on the side of the road and it came right off his shoulders his head was still in the helmet i had looked at the helmet for a good 15 seconds thinking whether i should pick it up at first i had no idea that his head was still in there so glad i didn't i haven't driven anything with two wheels at high speeds after that serious those of you who worked undercover what is the most taboo thing you witnessed but could not intervene as to not blow your cover when i worked qa for a video game publisher they had me work an e3 as a secret player basically i got to play new games for that publisher and act like they were amazing in front of press while i was taking a break i saw one of the producers hooking up with a booth babe he didn't recognize me but i knew he was married and had a kid on the way i didn't say crap he got laid off when the rest of us did about a year later but that's just kind of how e3 goes couple showed up to a party with their kids boy about eleven girl around nine get paid by host have kids do it with each other for entertainment of some of the people present for further tips let a couple sickers join in after a few minutes kids have been safely wards of the state for several years now for your information i wasn't exactly undercover but there was a degree of subterfuge involved when i was working in the customer service department of a health insurance company i had a call one day that was just a little off the guy was calling from a pharmacy about a problem with his prescription that was the normal part the red flag was his demeanor he was agitated as anyone would be in that situation but he was being overly polite normally in this situation even a very tolerant person would still have some choice words for his insurance carrier not this guy everything was yes sir and if it wouldn't be too much trouble sir it just didn't quite fit to better assist him i asked him what prescription he was trying to fill the dosage and the quantity he was getting oxy maximum quantity maximum dosage the plot thickens so i asked him to hold while i checked with our pharmacy vendor to see if they could shed some light on the issue what i was actually doing was having my team-led research the guy it took a while so i had to keep coming back to the call to ask the guy if he wouldn't mind waiting just a little longer that's not a problem at all sir i don't mind waiting one bit at this point he was starting to sound anxious still very polite what my team-led found was that the guy was getting prescriptions for basically every narcotic under the sun fill that different pharmacies all over town and so was his wife maximum dosage maximum quantity the reason he couldn't get this particular prescription filled is because our pharmacy vendor flagged his policy and it was under review that flag had just been placed that very morning but they hadn't had a chance to take any action just yet by this point i've got my team led on the phone with the pharmacy vendor my supervisor on the phone with our internal fraud investigators and my manager on the phone with and leo in the guy's jurisdiction just before the call ended i heard the cop walk up next to him address him by his full name and tell him to hang up the phone he and his wife got dinged for numerous counts of distribution and insurance fraud the director of our fraud unit invited me to her office to thank me for being proactive she also talked to me about going to school to become a fraud investigator that director is now a vp and i still get a high five from her when i pass her in the halls a few years back we got a tip that a guy who owned an advertising agency in the area and was also running funding lab we got to his assistant who was hilariously into to the whole thing i'm guessing many years of verbal abuse from a [ __ ] will fan the flame of revenge we would be alerted when he left the office each day where he'd pick his two daughters up from a fancy catholic school and sometimes swing by what we eventually confirmed was the lab they would wait in the car while he was inside for about an hour occasionally the daughters would leave the car and go somewhere we assumed in the beginning that it was to get something to eat as they often came back with a bag of food but there was a mcdonald's a block over and this was a nice white paper bag not a plastic one from a convenience store a small thing but it just seemed odd one day they were followed and did out they were friends with the daughter of another guy who owned a restaurant and worked as the hostess apparently she figured out that that surprise wealthy do men will pay good money to frick young pretty girls the two sisters girls would wait behind the building then the hostess would come out with three five guys usually in suits and take everyone down to the basement of another building restaurant guy used for storage when they came out the guys went directly to their cars or walked to the train the girls would go inside the restaurant and come out with that white paper bag we busted them guy eventually but the girl's business wasn't our problem my partner reported it and eventually someone followed up through casual conversation rumors i've heard they made 300 per guy and the whole thing had been going on for seven months supposedly it was the youngest of the two sisters who had an iq off the chart and masterminded the entire operation neither father had any idea what was going on and the girls were between 12 and 15. as i was strictly involved with observation evidence gathering on man the girls business was handled elsewhere and due to their ages the case files are sealed well above my pay grade one day though it will be a fascinating read supposedly it was the youngest of the two sisters who had an iq off the chart and masterminded the entire operation i bet you she and her sister were physically shamed before this happened kids don't come up with perverted crap like this on their own from 2007 through 2008 i worked on a smuggling interdiction task force my team dealt with human trafficking my job was all bulls and i regret that we couldn't really do anything to put a dent in the problem i worked under covering that i did not wear a uniform or carry a badge and my authority was civilian so i only reported to ellies the most taboo thing i witnessed that i was not allowed to do anything about was women mothers aunts grandmothers offering children for sex in exchange for cash the truth of the matter is that at least in western society the threshold of evidence required to hold women responsible for sex trafficking is not even in the same ballpark as for men the number of cases we had to tolerate sickens me i don't know which we need to address first as a society the rampant abuse or the gender bias that keeps it going but the truth be told i met just as many women pimps and abusers as i did men the biggest difference i could see is that women were more often pimping out the under-12 demographic versus the male pimps that were pimping out the teens i never saw one female prosecuted but we were successful in moving a handful of kids to foster care working as a pie without giving too many details i was a part of a drug happy orgy a pair of unfit parents set up had my partner do the drugs off-camera with the excuse of me having a drug test for my job so i couldn't partake in that 10 plus people there mostly in couples and i ended up screwing the unfit mother and recorded her getting sandwich at her home and plenty of other things needless to say the kids aren't in that house anymore ended up quitting after that job kinda fricked with my head the money was kind of ridiculous at times though it was a custody case the children went with their bio father who had been fighting for them for a long time i've had to do some forensic pc work scene bodies mishandled by funeral staff psychologists molesting their patients veterinarians torturing animals dentists killing children with unnecessary anesthesia doctors filling a man's chest with metal stints for no reason older doctors that are clearly incompetent cutting up some poor guy indiscriminately i know i see the worst of the worst but it is enough to make me not want to go to a medical professional until i absolutely have to even then it is iffy all of these cases have the full attention of legal authorities all of them took place several years ago anyone who could be charged has been charged worked as a private investigator for a while mostly did work comp cases seen some shiftiness drug deals etc the worst thing was conducting surveillance on a person at an apartment complex get there before light to set up my rig little bit before sunrise this mexican couple fifties-ish in a truck pull up in front of my position guys pulling a trailer gets out rummage through dumpster for metal and stuff okay not so bad then the woman with him gets out and between my vehicle and said dumpster proceeds to pop a squat and crap on the ground way to start my morning guys thanks she's just getting swifty i was working a detail a few years back in the parks district of our county we've had complaints and issues with men engaged in carnal activity in vehicles and restrooms i volunteered to be a decoy with a wire to see if the issue was out of hand i was hanging out in my vehicle and decided to go near the men's restroom for a bit it wasn't long when a vehicle without of county plates parked an elderly gentleman driving i kept my position at the restroom entrance when he walked up i could tell he wasn't there to use the restroom he chose the first stall and acted as if he had to urinate then i heard it he was masturbating pretty vigorously and the sound was awful he leaned back out of the stall to see if i was still there i wanted to get the heck out of there the look on his face licking his lips with drool running down his chin i'm not quite clear of the conversation but he either finished or lost interest as he was walking out of the restroom he reached out and grabbed my twig and berries i froze was shocked and didn't know what to do from there my partners were in an enclosed garage watching and listening to the entire thing after running this guy's information it came back the car belonged to a diocese out of dayton ohio and the elderly male was the priest i never volunteered for that crap again this is kinda boring but i was told to join a specific gang in college to leak info about it so that they could be removed from college kids of rich peeps it turns out they used to regularly freak teen girls sometimes even as young as 12 and used to give them drugs instead of money so that the girls would come around for more i thought it was quite serious so i gave all this information when i was about to pass out my college is now closed for one year for suspected drug distribution i worked for a large retailer doing internal loss prevention im not the same guy that follows sharp lifters around a store i investigated the actual employees including managers and warehousing employees and their supervisors i would enter the store as a new hire or a transfer a common issue was items missing from the loading dock most of the time it was employees stealing things and selling it out the back door in one town in iowa i had to befriend a guy who was stealing a large amount of electronics he just had a kid and stuff so it was a bit hard he asked if i wanted him i'm not going to say he was doing it but it resulted in him removing surveillance to enter the electronics room and steal ipods and stuff he was caught with the surveillance equipment in his car meanwhile he was a store loss prevention guy that followed around shoplifters by paying him he would intentionally place himself at the opposite end of a store while someone would come in and leave with an abnormal amount of small resellables another was to inspect groups or theft rings people who steal specific things from several stores in an area for resale we would then often find these items for sale online the 60-day world of warcraft cards were a big one shaving razor blades pc games dvds were an issue until they completely lost their value and cosmetics one time i had to follow a guy around for a week while he placed upc labels for low value items on expensive items he printed the upc labels at home and put them on specific items an accomplice a shopper would then find that exact item pay at the register like normal with about fifty dollars in random items at peak hours this went on for about two years this guy had over 700k in sales on his ebay account for a two-year time period turns out he was doing this at six stores with six employees truth is though these seven people weren't even a drop in a bucket in regards to shrinkage more like a drop in a well 25 years ago give or take i did some work as a private investigator someone i knew did it as a side job out of a large law firm's office and he hired me to help him out lots of interviewing witnesses to something that may have happened several years ago and stuff like that one night i had to drive about 45 minutes out into the country to interview someone involved in a possible dui incident where he ran a stop sign and severely injured someone i posed as someone from his law office and never let on that i was working for the victims i thought myself pretty sneaky for doing that as we're sitting there and i'm asking some roundabout questions hoping not to tip him off he just goes and tells the whole story of how drunk he was how much he had been drinking where he had been drinking and tons of other details as i'm listening to this i'm thinking that if he finds out i'm from the other side of the case he could kill me pretty easily i quickly ended the interview drove a couple towns over and wrote down everything he said in more details and turned it into the lawyers the next day tried to answer some questions below this was late 1980s i had zero training was probably 20 years old had no knowledge of anything law related etc i have no idea if what i learned was ever used or even given to the attorneys it could have been that the pie who i was helping out said what everyone here has said and just never told the law firm about it i have no idea after realizing how stupid it was of me to be out doing this alone with no one knowing where i was or what i was doing and the fact that no one had given me any sort of training or guidance i never went back to the office again and instead just focused on trying to build my freelance photography career pi here was in a crappy neighborhood and saw a guy beat his girlfriend pretty badly made an anonymous tip to the police but they got their way too late and the gf ended up going back to the guy anyway i watched an eight-year-old boy get punched in the face by his mother who was about to sell me an ounce of mj we waited as long as we could to not burn the ci then locked her up on both charges even though i wanted to bash her face and right there not anywhere near cop or spy level it was once hired by a music retailer to see how much attention his staff were paying to theft by shoplifting his store while legally ripping off the store i saw a guy i knew watching me and clearly encouraged by my blatant behavior he proceeded to do the same i don't know if this counts but when i was in high school over 15 years ago i worked at a kfc the manager wanted me to keep an eye out on workers and report back to her she wanted to know who was stealing boxes of stuff potato and gravy chicken salt etc she conveyed that my actions would be looked upon very favorably and perhaps even led to a better position eventually like management if i acted a spy i told the guy who was doing it that i was meant to be a spy he thanked me and gave me five big bags of chicken salt heaps of coleslaw and potato and gravy i got so sick of that crap so quick that i gave most of it away to my relatives i lived in a pretty poor working class area so did my relatives so they were stoked because they loved kfc i don't think she found out what we did so i guess i didn't blow my cover as a double agent i used to training at a call center i always included being aware of social engineering attempts in my role plays management like this so much they started having me do this as a secret caller i hate to say but i got a lot more people than i should have even started doing it ad hoc for other divisions when word got round waste was an agent that i'm not sure if she really just didn't care or was just so overly helpful she didn't think twice but man i could have stolen three or four people identities if i was actually running a scam this looks like something subreddit simulator would say i finally have one i was jtf6 and we coveredly patrolled for drug harvesting activity aka drug plots my partner and i had eyes on this one location we had to observe them for a period of time to generate a decent salute report we see this wild butt road warrior looking kid come hauling but up on his dirt bike with who we thought was his mom or grandma then we witness him incestuous or at the very least under age relations by the feral kid and the she beast he brought with him the whole time we're just sitting there in our hide grossed out and unable to move or intervenor we'd blow our cover and the whole op didn't really care to intervene on this but i was happy to include it in my report i'm a mystery shopper and the manager say these two really attractive models at prime seats by the bar throughout the meal he went behind the buff to make them drinks without ringing them up took pictures with them and was overall really obnoxious i think he even got their phone number they were obviously using him for free stuff for this class of restaurant i am supposed to identify the manager and see them make contact with three or more tables all drinks and definitely supposed to be rung through the pose i was happy to put this in my report i live in miami though and i see this crap happen regularly the rest of the people get treated like this another i got my oil changed and the guy calmed me on it i felt bad and didn't want to get the guy in trouble so i took the hit in the system for not turning in a report i guess i'm as bad as the girls i was having a really bad week and i guess he could see that one last my boyfriend and i do the mystery dinners and we normally go to fairly expensive restaurants we're in our mid-20s and stand out as fairly young and not as wealthy compared to the rest of the crowd we usually get service that is watered down when you can hear the red carpet being rolled out to the older couple next to you what is funny is that we will tip better than a lot of those people as most of our friends are in the service industry and we know how it goes but treat us poorly and we tip poorly i know how i should be treated when i'm paying 100 head not too big of a deal but watched a guy get jumped a couple days ago by four teenagers took his bag of booze wallet and beat him for a few seconds before rising their bikes away entire incident was less than 30 seconds i was working uc as a leo i worked as an undercover operative for a private investigation firm i don't think i saw anything taboo i but there was definitely some stuff going on that was notable i was once placed at a soft drink bottling facility on the graveyard shift as a mechanic my job was to keep the motors lubed on all the conveyor belt systems and so forth i knew nothing at all about that line of work but the pie firm got me into the union job using false records and a little string pulling by the plant president my official job was to look for employee frick ups there were plenty drinking on the job was the main frick up friday nights especially out back of the loading docks is where we kept the wooden pallets hundreds of them stacked in about 20 foot high columns friday nights we'd take the forklifts and create a hidden pathway in the middle of the stacks where we'd sneak a nice chests full of beer throughout the night we'd shuttle people in and out of the hidden area so they could drink forklift them in and circle back a few minutes later with a new crew to drop off while returning the imbibe back to their stations tonight boss had no idea he was usually passed out drunk in his office oh i finally had to have a clandestine meeting with the plant president to let him know that due to my ignorance on what my phony job actually entailed he better get somebody in there to lube those machines before crap started breaking down i was placed at a winery once hardest work i've ever done the owner's son ended up being the biggest m dealer in the area running the whole operation from the winery i was once also placed in an office setting for a sweepstakes company there wasn't much going on there pretty boring however i did end up in a threesome with the boss's secretary and her friend so there's that sounds like you puts on sunglasses won the lottery with that last one i work in compliance for factories in asia the main focus of my job is to make sure the factories are following rules set by who contacts them to make something i let a group of about 30 work overtime after they all stood outside my office asking why i am not allowing them to make more money before the upcoming holiday creditors who are in law enforcement what's the most extreme form of vigilantism you've seen serious we have a lot of pedophile hunters lure predators to near our station to be honest they cause more trouble than a lot of the jobs are worth they rarely give statements their evidence is lacking and once they organize the interception they disappear as quick as they appeared meaning often the case is threadbare after actually speaking with them somewhat they are getting better at giving statements and providing the evidence they've gathered any idiot that agrees to meet a 12 year old at a weather spoons on a railway station deserves to be intercepted by us imho in my town there used to be this group of punks thugs that hanged near a j.i yujitsu gym the fighters never stood up for themselves since they couldn't know whether or not the thugs were armed until one day they beat a guy up somewhat seriously the next day the fighters got together and hatched a plan one of them had a contact in the police so a random search happened to apprehend any guns the punks might have they didn't have any couple minutes later the whole jiu jitsu academy comes up and beats the living crap out of them the thugs decided to find another place to hang in as a bjj practitioner this pleases me 1974 to 1975-ish when i was little about five my second oldest sister was married to this [ __ ] bag they were splitting up and she moved back home with my toddler and a few her soon-to-be ex would call the house and make threats to her and about my nephew she hadn't told my parents about this one day he called and my dad picked up three second phone at the same time my sister picked up he heard the stbx threatened to kill my sister and nephew and to take me away until i grew up to take her place dad quietly told mom to tell sis that stbx needed to come over so they could talk about their marriage guy shows up my dad answers and he beat that man almost dead neighbors called the cops and pulled my dad off while he was pounding the guy's head into the sidewalk dad fell in a trash bag that had a broken window pane in it guy had half a face left and his skull was cracked survived but in a mental institution for the rest of his life dad had to drop his drawers in front of the neighborhood to get the height chunk removed from his butt a mom was still trying to get to the guy while they were loading him in the ambulance dad pulled out his driver's license military card retired air force korean war army intelligence early years of vietnam and his assistant fire chief badge was working at the local air force base the one in colorado with the jolly green giant's golf balls dad was not put in handcuffs but was taken into ctge prosecutor the looked at dad's credentials tried to pull hus military file couldn't not high enough security clearance listen to my dad's version of what happened and had one of the detectives take my dad back home he was gone for like four hours that was his punishment well that's in the scar on his butt your dad is into some deep military crap judge prosecutor knows better and believed your dad 100 at an instant rather than jumping through the judicial system applaud and possibly tarnish his rep by being responsible for convicting an army veteran by doing what's arguably right a kudos to the judge prosecutor and especially your dad my uncle is a cop and there is a guy in philly who does what he calls freelance investigation the problem is he is a bit of a crackpot so he lost his actual job he's given them great information such as a 50 page report connecting a drug dealer in camden to a series of muggings in kensington and some other parts of north philly because the guy visited his mother and sister at their house every friday to saturday which was when the muggings took place but he crashed at her friends in camden sunday to thursday he even included photos of the guy including a three surveillance videos putting the guy within two blocks of three different muggings this dude followed this guy off and on for like seven months and led to an arrest and conviction and got a cash award on the other hand he also believes that a 60-some year old woman from chinatown who died in the mid-2000s in a solved murder actually faked her own death and runs a drug ring all because she had a drug conviction in the 70s for being caught with some dope outside a concert his logic basically goes she was shot in her face to hide her identity she has a history of drug crimes look this other asian woman at the market looks like how she did but age another 10 years i followed this woman she lives within nine blocks of where she used to before she faked her death her husband is in on it because they both picture of a totally different asian woman than the first provided went to ikea on the same day and talked in part go make an arrest something that outrageous has to be true i've made this comment before of a story my dad told me my dad was chasing a guy down a highway that was backed up with traffic on foot a guy with his family in the car dressed like they were on their way to church opened his car door just as the guy my dad was chasing was running by knocking him to the ground my dad the guy he was handcuffing and the guy who opened the door were all laughing at what had just occurred that scene made me crack up even the guy running from the cop was like lolfml i'm a criminal defense attorney no a case where a widely known murderer threatened to kill his neighbors the uncle of one of them heard left straight from a funeral walked up and shot him in the chest ended up being found not guilty to most gangster thing i've ever heard cj student and passing a career in corrections when we were going over hospice in class inmates dying and get treated with care by others to use suffering we learned about a man nicknamed pvt jack he served in world war ii and received plenty of homers his son got addicted to h and hung himself jack killed the drug dealer and was arrested for first degree murder and sentence to life he was a pow in world war ii and was experienced with being locked up for most of his life at this point when he was submitted to hospice just watching the man acting tough while dying in that bed being surrounded with pictures of family was awful it makes you realize how the people in prison aren't all bad people they just make mistakes there was a documentary on it which we watched and covered him several times as examples of not considering the people in prison is lesser than you for being there a friend of mine told me about a case that his wife prosecuted 70 year old woman walks in on her 71 year old husband who is blowing her grandson his step-grandson kid is about 12 years old she walks to another room in the house gets a gun and shoots her husband once he survives the first shot and drags himself outside onto their porch she shoots him again in the back killing him the jury deadlocks on the first two trials resulting in mistrials on the third trial she is convicted of manslaughter and given 30 days in jail i bet she had bigger balls than her husband i worked in a small midwestern town nearly 20 years ago received a disturbance call and found a heavy-set 50-ish white man laying in his front yard half-conscious he was obliviously involved in a fight smelled of gas and had burns on his legs he was probably in shock heavy drunk most likely both and refused to answer any of my questions my partner in the guy's family arrived just as he refused medical service it was only at this point could we get a positive id since he was refusing to talk except to say no ambulance the female relative was concerned while another male relative did volunteer that that his uncle had just been released from prison for child molestation the neighbors saw nothing the victim refused to make a statement not much to be done the guy was extremely lucky that we wasn't burned to a crisp i worked for two more years afterward and there were no further attacks involving this guy immigration law here loss count the number of times a cheating bfgf has been dubbed in by their ex you always know those ones are good lots of detail and always manage to get the target as the info is very specific used to work in a people trafficking team targets were mostly the sex massage industry legal here but workers are occasionally trafficked and often in the country unlawfully had one high-end brothel who played by the rules dobbing on all the dodgy ones worked well for him as we were pushing business his way we would still do compliance checks on him but we never had an issue another memorable one had a family keeping an indian girl as a slave housekeeper we got her out of that crap and into a woman's refuge and get her a visa settled in the country etc later during the court case we find out that she had been raped by the father and adult son of the house she wouldn't take it further out if shaman the public prosecutor wouldn't proceed that she wouldn't give evidence about a year later rescued girl's family come to visit her her dad sets fire to this family's house less than an hour after being in the country i think this is my favorite one travels halfway around the world just to burn those m house down shortly after my grandfather came home to small town western kansas after world war ii a young girl was raped or murdered he's since passed and i don't remember this part exactly but something terrible happened to a young girl and he with the townspeople knew who done it while waiting for law enforcement to arrive which in that part of the world could take hours at a time they happened to have found the man brought him back to town wrapped barbed wire around his neck and dragged him through town by a horse until he was a lifeless bloody pulp drug him through town in front of all to see yet nobody was ever arrested i'm sure when the cops finally did arrive nobody saw a thing back then especially in rural counties the town's going to protect their own not law enforcement but when i was in high school a guy lured his best friend out to a remote field behind a tribal casino a few miles outside of town and beat him to death with a hammer and subsequently buried him because his girlfriend told him the best friend had raped her there were missing person posters all over my high school four weeks before they found the body and discovered what had happened and the guy kept showing up to school the whole time like nothing had happened i went to a very homogeneous preppy safe high school where things like this simply didn't happen turns out the girlfriend had made the whole thing up i wish she'd share his sentence we'll add on here as a medic as well this guy pees someone off when we found him he was naked in the bushes short through his eyeball and it came out around his ear trauma doctor said he had multiple broken bones from getting tossed from a moving car had been kicked and stomped on his stomach and face and to top it off he had been not sure what he did to deserve that but someone got their revenge that night mall security not real law enforcement many years ago i was 18 just started doing security at a small mall third day on the job got a call that someone had just snatched some jewelry that they were looking at got a vague description saw someone running through the mall out of the corner of my eye so i made an assumption and took off running after him another shop appointed me in the right direction as he ran outside i saw him run into the dumpster storage area of a burger king that was in our parking lot so i being young and full of adrenaline ran into it too found the guy crouched behind a disgusting oils and fat bin i have no idea how i did it did i somehow cuffed the guy with my brand new shiny handcuffs i'd gotten three days ago at which point my colleague finally showed up adrenaline and excitement turns you into some kind of superhuman or the guy was super submissive we walked him back to the mall and into a service corridor to take him to the security office and wait for the police we're halfway down the back hallway when the door from the mall bursts open and it's the owner of the jewelry store but this isn't the first time he's been robbed he walks towards us calm and collected and we tell him we caught the guy and the police are on the way everything is good he got a little too close our bad and then punches the guy in the face who has his hands cuffed behind his back the guy drops to the floor we lose our crap on the store owner as he's just freaked up our awesome success we push him away but he's done what he wanted to do so he's quite pleased with himself i call an ambulance and i still remember very well arguing with the 911 operator because i didn't know the address of them all it's xxxxx center it's a mall everyone knows where it is anyway ambulance shows up along with the police and they arrest both of the thief and the store owner the thief goes to hospital but he's fine few weeks later we find out that everyone dropped the charges against everyone else and life went on for everyone very annoying as i wanted to celebrate my first conviction but it wasn't to be i call an ambulance and i still remember very well arguing with the 911 operator because i didn't know the address of them all it's xxxxx center it's a mall everyone knows where it is holy freaking crap that is hilarious i get the operator's point but dang that is just pure hilarity my great uncle his home is being robbed and he lives in a small farming village at the time and he lives with his elderly mother and sisters he's 60 so he's the only man of the house so some aren't knives not guns burglars try to break in so what does he do he takes a bamboo stick with knives lashed on both ends jumps out the ground floor window and confronts about four seven young 20 30 year olds all armed with knives he puts enough of a show to scare off all seven of them posted this in another thread but it fits this one better where i grew up several of the county cops were blatantly corrupt back around 86 one of the cops was accused of raping an underage girl cops wouldn't do anything one night rapey cop stops answering radio next morning his petrol car is found with lights flashing his uniform is freshly washed ironed and folded in the driver's seat there is also this one family of old farm boys you don't pee off who just happened to have a hog farm on the same road they found the car on the official story as he resigned and left town but his brother hasn't heard from him since hogs will eat human bodies betting the evidence was pooped out by a pig a civil in here but here's a little wartime story from sarajevo when the serbs started shilling the city nobody was spared but a few informants and infiltrators a while later some of these four manta started being brutally killed and or had their true identities revered by just one guy anyways our wartime government didn't think killing civilians was a good idea so they went out and hunted down this vigilante all because we wanted to show that we were the good guys i had a dui defense attorney along with several others box in a dui driver and forced him to pull to the shoulder the dui defense attorney then took the guy's keys and waited for me to get there i jokingly asked the vigilante attorney if he was planning on representing the dui driver and he responded heck no the driver later blew 0.360 on the breath test which is over four times the legal limit goddamn a 0.36 is like alcoholic territory i blew a 0.24 on my buddies at a party and i was beyond freaked my other friend's dad was an alcoholic for 40 years and got pulled over at around .30 said he felt sober and had no problem walking just stank of vodka a week ago in my city two guys broke into a house demanding money they stabbed three of the residents but then both burglars were stabbed to death by the homeowner was a prosecutor in a somewhat rural county this county had an area of town that was known for violent crime and em that being said a lot of residents had lived there for a long time they weren't overly thrilled with how the area had developed but were generally the kind of people who were hesitant to call law enforcement these people started a kind of city council that would meet regularly to discuss the happenings in the area and to determine appropriate responses sometimes they would send bruises in to beat the crap out of someone who did something bad this was all done hush hush without law enforcement involvement some officers knew a little bit about it but it was just kinda swept under the rug as an understanding in the area i was in a grocery store getting some lunch when i heard my partner on the radio responding to a pretty bad domestic call and asked for backup i took off running out the store racing to my car a kid who works at the store is all about wanting to be a cop one day and decided he wanted to come too so he raced out to his car to follow me there i didn't realize it until i got to the house and he ran past me trying to get into the house he doesn't talk to me anymore after the unholy but chewing i gave him he's a great kid but he fricked up bad that day i've seen outsiders beating to her pulp in washington heights nyc for transgressions against neighborhood stores or establishments for example a shoplifter who stole a few hats from the hat store and got into a tussle with the african guy who worked there the entire neighborhood beat him up and all that remained was a bloodied perp and several axe handles scattered about the ground no witnesses tlc drivers also used to call for help in that neighborhood when one of them was victimized you'd see a bunch of town cars converge on the spot to meet out justice on the would-be offender soldier so not a cop but definitely did coin was travelling with a high ranking officer to do talks with each person in charge of bases around baghdad one day we go to a base i think was called dragon something they tell us about how they stopped getting mortar attacks that base was set up in one of the power plants around baghdad they keep getting mortar every couple of nights for the first few months they are there guy in charge finally gets out to the local towns people around the base and tells them if we get mortared again i'm trying off the power for three days get smarted that night he had the workers turn off the power people come to the gate the next day asking why the power is off being for it to be turned back on gate guards tell them it won't come on for x amount of days because someone shot mortared at the base they turned the power back on get mortared a few days later guy turns the power back off people come back asking complaining this time the guys at the gate tell them it will be off for a week because they keep getting muttered two days later people come to the gate and say we got the guy who was mortaring your base come and we will show you so they go out and about half a mile away they got a guy hung by his neck from a light pole dead it had been two months since their last mortar attack when we visited guy that robbed a nearby store was beaten senseless by the community and held four cops he was beaten so bad i think they arrested the guys holding him down as well not in law enforcement just related to the question in my country here is a very famous case of this a 13 year old girl was raped by a 60-something year old in 1998 or something like that don't know if he was on jail or what but in 2005 he ran into the mother of the girl in the street and he taunted her with things like how is your daughter want to come have dinner so she saw as he entered a bar went get gasoline in a gas station went to the bar doused him and lit a match he died some days later i'm just telling it from memory so some details might not be exact this was in 2005 after all i was molested in prison i simply waited until i knew he was doing drugs again and called his po so he could drop dirty and be sent back sorry you had to go through that glad you found a creative way to handle it not law enforcement surgeon neuropsychologist worked with a patient who suffered from a mass shooting from a man who was mentally unstable the mentally unstable man thought the young men were trying to rob him by fire he shot them one patient was a drug dealer even though the sick man was arrested within 30 minutes of the shooting and it was clear he was sick he got out of jail 28 days before this shooting for killing a woman who tried to steal his soul he was cornered in jail and lit on fire by the drug dealer's mates he died because of his injuries i treated both i have a real problem with vigilantism recently a friend of mine was killed in a hit and run he was only 21 in the immediate aftermath of his death the usual rumor mill began who did it a day later a friend of mine began to post photos of a person whom was suspected of being the driver photos containing him holding a beer specifically the implication being that he was a drunk who killed our friend i called her on it she got mad at me she was potentially compromising an active investigation and compromising justice being served in the correct for death of our mutual friend posting photos of an unofficially declared suspect of a crime is not only possibly slander it's damaging to the active investigation she was determined to be a vigilante that caught him i get the anger in the frustration but you can't just go and exact your own justice without due process there's a reason it exists not exactly law enforcement but my great uncle was off in the pacific theater and a group of guys accousted his girlfriend when he came home he beat one of them to death i actually have a story this was in pakistan in my village some 40 years ago there was some dude who would go around sneaking into people's houses to mess with the girls in the house i'm not sure if he was a rapist or not because in our culture we try not to mention things like that but i'm pretty sure he was one of the dads caught him on his roof and threw an ax at him and killed him we were sat in a local car park in my mates car we noticed another mates van during the conversation but suddenly there's a loud smasher some guy breaks the window of the van reaches in and takes off with a backpack we gave jace this dude is running flat out down the middle of the road my mate driving speeds pass him at about 45 my other mate in the passenger seat decides to open his door and clobber the guy there is an almighty bang and this guy catapults like a gymnast tumbler end over end straight through a house garden fence and smashes the front window he staggers out bleeding from loads of grazers and cuts and starts crying like a baby i was like crap that was a bit over the top my mate grabbed the bag and kicked him back on the floor he wasn't that badly injured but crap we sped off and told my other mate he had dropped the bag in the car park in turns out later he knew the guy a local sikh head and had helped him out with work using the van and he knew there was expensive tools in the backpack never reported it to the police and never had any come back from it the house was rented to students we heard and they just got the landlord to fix a fence and window not law enforcement but some people nailed a suspected pedophile to a tree in a local park near where i used to live craps mad fricked up kid from a very large and very dysfunctional family is shot with a long gun while riding his bike through the projects the kid was more of a nuisance than a criminal but his family had some real dysfunctional characters in it this was in the summer of about 2007. guess who our our first homicide of 2008 was sorry to be posting again but this is a good story of vigilantism my mate was starting his property business had about nine houses he had a nightclub past ran a lot of doors and his family were well connected with the city doormen he's in bed wife and kids almighty crash and the feral youths from the pirate end of town had put his patio doors in they took the keys to his bmw x5 and were gone before he got down the stairs but to make matters worse he had left all his properties spare keys with addresses in the car and his mobile he rings his phone and gets five kids who turn out to be 15 17 years olds they torn him saying they are going to break into the houses he called the police who are next to useless and just call it in as a vehicle theft they show no interest in the threats so they start ringing him all night and day eventually it becomes a sort of who's the hardest standoff so he gets a crew together of around 15 doormen and they find the car in a nearby town it is being donuted around a disused shopping center he rings the lads while watching from afar they pass the phone amongst them hurling abuse at him but it gives them a chance to see who they are and who are just local kids watching the show so they rush them tooled up in a few seconds there are broken jaws teeth missing and severely beaten up kids lying on the floor this is before camera or gps phones so no evidence he gets the car keys and phone back a few days later his phone goes and there are threats from older members of these kids gang they are going to burn his house down they want him to pay cash for the injuries he gets the crew together again and finds out who this kid is they follow him back to his parents house in the most goddamn lawless part of the city they kick the door in and beat him senseless in front of his parents the dad pee himself with fear and the war ended there this might seem outrageous but it goes on and these feral kids have no morality or limits they only respect force no one went to the police my mate says they are the most dangerous people he knows and will stab someone for 50 bucks you have to go in so hard they back down i'm in the coast guard a guy on a boat moored across the marina from our station shouts at people when they go too fast he's loud as heck i saw this when it was first posted and thought vigilantism said vandalism and i thought that's not a very good question now it is i who is the dumb one officers of the law who drive and mark cars what is your best are you freaking kidding me moment that you witness because they didn't realize you were watching not a cop but one of my friends was doing it undercover stakeout at night in unmarked car in a bad part of town this wasn't just a unmarked crown vic but a seized vehicle with heavy illegal tint think like a racer mobile while he's there looking for a person of interest in a homicide this guy walks by a few times checking out the car and just looking fishy as frick he comes back stops by the car tries the door then pulls out a lockout tool and tries to unlock the car the whole time my buddy is trying to keep his crap together as this guy is trying to jack a car with a cop in it he draws his pistol cracks the window and flashes his gun the guy drops his tool and just starts freaking running down the street he radioed in a description of the guy didn't want to blow the stake out with an arrest and a uniformed unit picked him up two blocks away guy ended up being involved in an auto theft ring and brought them all down in exchange for a deal he had one of the biggest busts of his career just walk up and try to break into his car best story here i once honked at a car who changed lanes a bit too closely in front of me sucker was an unmarked cop car when that silver chevy slammed the brakes darted behind me and turned into a freaking edm show i almost crap myself the officer pulled me over and apologized for cutting it close good for him to apologize for screwing up we had a guy pull into a lot next to a marked squad car and light up a joint my buddy sitting in the car had to look around to make sure he was in fact in a squad car and that he was in fact in uniform he was the old adage of we don't catch the smart ones never rang more true some guy tried suddenly coming out of a turn lane into our lane when we didn't automatically break to let him in he started screaming and cursing us out even sticking his middle finger out the window not realizing we were cops we lowered our window flashed the badge and hit the lights and then pulled him over the guy started crying and apologized numerous times my little brother is really good at spotting cops marked and unmarked one day we were on our way to a wedding when my brother tells my mom to make sure she's going the speed limit cause she was about to pass an unmarked cop car she is doubtful but does it anyways about 30 seconds later a guy on a black ducati comes flying up behind us weaving through traffic he squeezes between our suv and the cop and we all cheered when the cop flipped on his lights my mom never questions my brother anymore i think your brother might do some drugs i was driving from indianapolis to bloomington one day to visit a friend on the iu campus i was going around 70 or so running late and i passed a cop in an unmarked mustang on the side of the road he pulled out and i got ready to pull over he got behind me and just as he lit me up a lady in a red convertible comes flying past both of us i looked in the rearview mirror and saw a completely stunned look on his face as if he was asking himself did this car really just blow by both of us it took him a couple of seconds to recover but then he pulled up beside me pointed at me while laughing and took off after the woman i passed them as she was getting stopped and tooted the horn twice and thanks to her yeah you can never drive too fast on 37 especially around martinsville you'll get lit up by the cops not a cop in college my buddies and i lived in an especially affordable neighborhood we all went to the bar one night but soon received a call that there was a break-in got home and the cop told us he and his partner were driving by our house in an unmarked car when they saw an individual struggling to carry digital cameras a t-shirt full of spare change and an xbox plus controllers and games out of our house the cops stopped to observe what appears to be a robbery in progress but then the individual actually approached the unmarked car and attempted to sell the stolen xbox to the cops on the sidewalk in front of our house that he had just robbed they said it was the easiest arrest they ever made i'm keeping a specially affordable neighborhood sir i had a client that tried to race a blacked-out charger when they first came out in his wrx he was winning two at least until the trooper turned on the lights in his grill had managed to get to 108 miles per hour from the line entrapment i wouldn't have floored it if he hadn't taken the bait second police job was as a deputy sheriff and i'm sitting there with my partner off a highway exit at a scenic overlook eating some lunch and listening on the radio to chp trying to corner two motorcyclists who are flying around the highway like idiots know where support is available so they terminate pursuit for safety about 10 minutes later as i'm polishing off my fourth taco two bikes matching the description and without any visible plates exit the highway and pull into the same overlook they take their helmets off listen for a few minutes kill the bikes and then the one walks over to start p behind the tree we made chp transport them since that guy pee all over himself when we hit the siren we were in an unmarked subaru at the time that got a real laugh out loud out of me well done i'm on the other side of this one i was cycling down a main road and had a green light to cross and i was nearly run over by a massive black car that ran the light and turned into me we both swerved to a stop i immediately turned around and started screaming at the guy you freaking etc you nearly killed me look where you're freaking going next time the car was unmarked police the passenger side window rolled down and there was a guy in a baseball cap and a bulletproof vest sitting there holding a rifle i kept shouting abuse at him until i realized he just apologized for nearly running me over and kept on driving i actually work probation we drive grey slick top charges with blue lights we monitor people that are on gps monitoring for the state occasionally these monitors go dead they need servicing sometimes an offender says frickit cuts the unit off and goes trolling for a station wagon full of nuns or something well anyway i'm in this gray charger with blue lights because it's my week to do the gps monitoring thing in my state probation officers have the same arrest powers as state troopers dnr officers or normal police only we have statewide jurisdiction so i come across a disabled vehicle with a big ford behind it there's lots of traffic and this ford is trying to get around the disabled car so i'm like man this dude is never getting around this car so i turn on my blue lights stop traffic so he can get around safely so i'm sitting there waving the guy through when this indian fellow comes up on my passenger side window and he says officer that guy in the truck just hit that car he was going seriously fast weaving all over the place then he hit that car right there i think he's drunk at this point i'm like wait that guy and i point to the guy i'm letting out and he's like that's him so i'm like god damn it i already have my lights on so i hit the siren tone change and pull him over long story short i end up kicking the crap out of him cuffing him and waiting for the local smokies to show up and transport him to jail because i don't have a cage car turns out he was driving down the street drinking out of a vodka bottle and orange juice bottle making little mouth-sized screwdrivers with his dang four-year-old in the car the upshot for the little four-year-old was that one of the responding officers that showed up had a thick liverpool accent the little girl legit thought that she was speaking to the cop mary poppins super cute you know you're an alcoholic when you mix your drinks inside your mouth i'm a cop in training but wasn't in an unmarked car person was playing on their phone in the middle of traffic and didn't realize what kind of car was beside him he looks up to me sees me and just gives me the finger apparently for looking at him only then does he notice my uniform or perhaps the big white polisary on the side of the car my instructor didn't believe it until i assured him i wasn't making it up that guy ended up admitting it to my instructor probably the most expensive finger he ever gave someone and the most expensive round of whatever they were playing on the phone i am not an officer however this is too perfect not to tell mind you i was not speeding i accelerated quickly and got in front of the sub beside me who proceeded to tailgate me he was driving aggressively and i thought road raging so i got over again and sped around a car in front of me and got over again i made my turn and the guy was on my tail again suddenly he lights me over and my stomach drops i pull over and a plain clothes officer gets out and approaches he says sir why were you driving like that i am not a traffic officer but your erratic driving gave me no choice but to pull you i shrugged my shoulders and responded you were tailgating me and looked angry i thought you were raging and tried to get some distance from you he responded that's fair and walked back to his car and drove off i did this once though i technically did speed and get a ticket for it some suv was riding me pretty hard so i sped up to allow him to go around me mind you he was really really on my butt lit me up and gave me a ticket for it i managed to get it thrown out in court because i included the prior eight hours of recording on my dash cam showing my safe driving and not speeding once retired sheriff's deputy here was not working but in plain clothes with my young children at in tow we were at a local street carnival in my jurisdiction when i watched takani's do a hand-to-hand transaction of some type of narcotic i contacted the officers on duty at the carnival and the deputy prosecutor happened to be there as well she asked me if i would be willing to do a purchase from one of the carnival workers i had never worked undercover and didn't really know anything about narcotics or the street lingo i was able to buy h and have an arrest affected almost immediately hey i know you are off duty and your kids are here but we'd appreciate it if you'd set a good example for your kids and go buy age off that carny solid undercover work sir not an officer but every day after high school four of us took the same three-mile stretch of highway home we frequently raced each other to the last exit and the highway was usually pretty empty one day i drove with my buddy and he pulls up next to this blacked out ford taurus show and looks over going about 80 miles per hour all of a sudden a mass state trooper rolls down his passenger window to look at us blares his sirens throws all of his lights on and starts ripping down the highway he either got something important to do or was bored and wanted to frick with some kids but we definitely chilled on the racing after that sounds like he sized you guys up and decided that's probably all it would take to keep you from acting like idiots in the future we had a new hire who went twice the limit 160 in an 80 kilometer per hour zone and then proceeded to cut off a policewoman in an unmarked car as he was in a company vehicle with a clearly visible logo security company she called us and spoke to my boss we called in the guide to the office and i fired him he could not believe that he was fired just for going twice the speed limit he kept saying but this is the first time i've done it freaking [ __ ] about a month later he called my boss and asked him for bail money for a dui my boss just laughed and hung up on him he was worried his parents would get angry god damned [ __ ] obligatory not me but my dad he was a detective in an unmarked car coming back from a hearing he was not in his jurisdiction and going 35 40 and a 35 there was a woman behind him riding his butt which he largely ignored because he wasn't going painfully slow in fact a bit over she starts beeping her horn and waving her arms swerving side to side like she was trying to find a way to zoom around him he's also approaching the township line putting him within his jurisdiction literally five seconds after he crosses the township line the woman speeds around him funny enough at this township lying the speed limit also drops from 35 to 25 he clocks her going 55 puts on his removable police light and pulls her over now this is where things get funky his car has a dash cam and records everything this will be important soon as he walks up to her window she is visibly shaking in anger he shows her as badge explains who he is as he is in suit and tire not standard police uniform and tells her he clocked her at 55 in a 25 he then asks her for her license and registration and she responds by screaming rape out the window as loud as she can he then asks if she would be more comfortable if he called a uniformed on duty patrolman she suddenly calms down and says it's fine i don't remember the timeline as i was younger but he ends up being taken to court for assault this woman was claiming my dad reached in her window grabbed her breast and said he wouldn't write her a ticket if she was willing to play ball to my dad is mildly stressed bill has reviewed the dash cam full audio and good quality video with his appointed lawyer which clearly shows none of that ever happened and my father never even approached putting his hand inside her car judge hears the woman's testimony and asks if she has told the truth she claims she has at that point they bring out the tv and play the dash cam judge informs her she should ask for leniency and maybe she will receive a break from false charges from my understanding in order to avoid jail time she agreed to a very long probation period and community service one of my favorite how stupid can you be moments and also a good lesson to not be in butthole in general what a stupid woman i hate when people lie about rape and sexual harassment taking away from the real victims i was on duty one day driving not in an unmarked car but a clearly marked car it was an hour before i was to go home so i had already mentally checked out pretty much anyways i am driving down a road and this car zooms past this stop sign in front of me causing me to slam on my brakes and slam on the horn literally close to hitting him it's funny because i exclaimed out loud to myself in the car mother sucker i wish there was a squad car near you but hold and i proceeded to remember i was that squad car and turned around 15 seconds later and pulled him over yay had a little justice boner that day getting pulled over is scary enough but a cop walking up to question me with an erection would be terrifying not a cop but i want to tell the story about what happened to my son when he was about 16. he and some friends had been hanging out at dq they were leaving dq in his friend's car to go to one of their houses they had encountered some other teenagers who were taunting them and generally being buttholes my son was in the back seat of the car and two of his friends were up front a dark-colored sedan pulled up next to them at a stoplight kid driving says to front seat passenger it's those butt holes again do something front seat passenger grabs a shoe and chucks it at the car's windshield well guess who was actually driving that car lol i got a friendly call from the pd to come pick up my kid along with an assurance that he hadn't done anything wrong but had really really stupid friends the cop made some kind of quip as i was picking him up about grand theft auto skinny jeans edition coma the cop made some kind of quip as i was picking him up about grand theft auto skinny jeans edition that's too funny at least they took it in stride and didn't arrest his friends and throw them in jail for three years like al zaidi i'm a cop and nothing really changes you would be surprised the stuff i see in a marked patrol car some people are just that oblivious or just really don't care yeah bad drivers or idiots aren't going to notice the marked tahoe on the shoulder the marked cruiser the lane over whatever they're so self-absorbed they'll just do their thing we had a deputy get hit when someone cut across three lanes clipping his marked crown vic in the process because they wanted to pull in front of someone else and flip them off as part of a road rage incident obligatory i am not the officer but i was driving on a 50 mile per hour limit dual carriageway and a nice fella with a horse box attached to his pickup decided that 0.2 inches behind my car on the inside lane was a nice amount of stopping distance for himself then he decided i wasn't having enough fun with just music so proceeded to flash his lights repeatedly rave time a turn off approaches so horsey mcfuckhead takes it then decides to cut across back onto the motorway in front of me across the chevrons forcing me to swerve into the outside lane lest my car be written off by his clearly occupied horse box then it happens the angelic humming of a siren the majestic flashing blue lights of karma and marked police car flies over from a little while behind me chasing the now speeding probable horse sucker i passed them about five minutes later and tooted my woefully inadequate horn because i could i was a detective off duty with my family when a jackass started following me way too close i sped up and he did too he pulled up next to me and he's driving a crown vic with a full police lights package in the words test vehicle on the door he's clearly upset turns on the lights and motions for me to slow down he picked up a radio mic and looked like he was talking into it i was inside of my own jurisdiction by now and called dispatch to see if they knew who this dude was nobody knows meanwhile test vehicle turns off the road behind me to a shopping center my wife sighs heavily as i turn around and spot him getting out of the car wearing a sweet pair of cargo shorts i calmly took down the tag and arrived early for work the next day cause my normal caseload was going to take a break for mr a test vehicle found out he was not a police officer but a salesman for police vehicle lights stroked out a warrant for impersonating a police officer and locked him up the same day when i went over to the jail to talk to him he told me that he gets angry when people speed around him when he's driving that car he wasn't the pervert cop impersonator type so he got a slap on the wrist but his employer was pee when i told them i'm a cop in ohio and i was driving a 2011 hyundai elantra the police paid for it so it was really nice inside leather extra speakers etc one day when i was out on patrol listening to some cop rap a guy drove past me was speakers so loud that i could hear the song reba mcintyre over the cop rap so i blooped him with the siren and pulled him over i walk up to the car and ask him what he's doing and the tinted window rolled down and it was reba mcintyre i was completely stunned and i said i'm sorry bit of tickets a ticket she grinned sheepishly and said that's fine you're just doing your job it was one of the highlights of my career before i retired family members story a detective who drives an unmarked car a [ __ ] box actually to really blend has seen deals crimes in progress but this stands out best my cousin is a lousy driver by nature one particular night he was being tailgated high beamed etc by an unhappy motorist behind him he pulled into a gas station to let bin pass but the unsuspecting jerk followed him you got a freaking problem buddy he yelled to my cousin in a thick accent my cousin gets out in the punk look and nervous while the detective replies nope but it looks like you do now and flowers his badge arrest for driving a car with revoked registration driven without a license possession of drug paraphernalia along with citations for his actions before the confrontation just let it go when driving always baffles me that when you are already driving without a valid license and drugs in your car that you will go out and behave like a [ __ ] too not an officer but the idiot in the story i was 17 and thought using a pigeon fast car you follow behind in the hopes they get a speeding ticket and not you on the highway was smart so i followed this charger in the fast lane going well over the limit followed him for a good 20 minutes before he quickly went in the right lane slowed down and pulled behind me then he turned on his sirens i was following an unmarked police car the pigeon strategy doesn't even make any sense if you're behind them you're easier to pull over okay i am not a cop the car was not unmarked that's why this is so are you freaking kidding me scene bridge over the interstate left lane enters the interstate middle and right lane go on down the road cop sitting in right lane with lights on as he sometimes does nearly the entire bridge a solid white line for that left turn lane to prevent people trying to cut in at the last moment for people who don't realize and have missed the turn there is a very easy u-turn area right past the bridge some prick who i would have sworn was blind if not for the fact he was driving a car was at the end of that long wait for the left turn he shoots into the middle lane cutting me off drives the length of the bridge and pulls up to the light in the middle lane and stops puts on his left turn signal i am stuck behind him as he waits for the entire light no one is letting this dumb freaking this isn't that kind of city and he clearly just didn't want to wait his turn not to mention the whole solid white line and easy u10 area after the light he could have just gone past the light and pulled a u-turn there is a designated space for it but no siree bob not good enough for him so i am sitting there having waited the entire length of the green light for this prick oh and the reason the line wasn't moving is the left arrow had gone red 20 seconds before he pulled his [ __ ] baggery looking between the now yellow light and the cop who is staring at this guy the light turns reed the guy then proceeds to very slowly pull out and turn left from the middle lane going through the red light the look of utter incredulity on the cops face as he turned on the siren and immediately pulled him over will be with me forever still p he made me miss the light though the justice boner was worth it though two unmarked cop cars busted me doing donuts in an empty snowy parking lot when i was 18. they were in the far corner and i didn't think much of it after a few minutes of driving like an idiot they finally flipped the lights on and drove over they kinda laughed at me and gave me a stern talking to but let me go that's the right kind of policing you weren't putting anybody in danger good on them [Music] not a cop but still a good story i was driving home from work on a four-lane road in the left lane coming up to a red light naturally i came to a complete stop at the lights i noticed that there is a late model impala in the right lane with his window down then out of nowhere an older boot passed me on my left crossing into the oncoming traffic and through a red light in complete dismay of what had just happened i looked at the guy next to me who was already staring at me with the same stunned look on his face so i said to the guy where's a cop when you need one the guy in the impala said to me right here he then threw on his lights and speed after the boog once the light turned green i drove up the road about 20 feet to see the undercover officer had pulled over the book i gave him a honk of my horn and he threw up some finger guns at me not a cop but i was the other guy i was out ripping around on my jet ski with some friends there was no one around so we were darting through the shallows and between islands where we legally cannot run must be 100 feet from shorter runner speed these channels were 10 feet wide we're having a great time when i see my buddy coming down the river on his call asaki i decided to buzz right at him and do a donut to spray him with water from the jet right as i cut the handlebars and started to spin i realized it wasn't my buddy it was a pa game commission officer on a brand new jet ski that they had purchased discreetly patrol the river i soaked him i got a lot of tickets that day from the other side of the story i was driving along in this butthole behind me is right on my butt so i speed up a little then he's trying to pass me and since he was being a jerk i speed up or slow down accordingly to not give him a chance to pass me finally the lights come on it's a cop he asked me why i was going so fast and i told him because he was riding my tail he asked me why i would do that in front of a cop and i said you're in an unmarked car luckily he was just north of town and out of his jurisdiction so he let me go he's now the chief of police in that town i have a similar story about a cop aggressively passing me and immediately turning right onto a side street in an unmarked cruiser i nearly hit him due to him cutting me off and immediately slowing down and had to swerve into the left lane as not too the cop in plain clothes actually hit the nerve to turn around and pull me over asking why i was tailgating what sitting at a stop sign in front of a school when lady speeds through said stop sign doing 50 in a 15 i pull her over and give my usual line is there perhaps a medical or other legally justifiable reason you ran that stop sign in from other school doing 50 miles per hour he said i'm having a miscarriage no she wasn't but so i tell that she's in luck i'm a trained medic and i'll get an ambulance as the ambulance is end route the dispatcher tells me the ambulance crew wants to know if she's bleeding she's heard this on my radio and i tell my dispatcher stand by it's hot and we're in texas she's wearing very short shorts so i stick my head all the way in her car look down at her crotch then back at her and say i guess not ha still waiting for that ambulance and she grabs her cell phone and calls her husband they are taking and she hands me the phone and says it's my husband can you tell him why i'm going to be late late thought it was a miscarriage so i grabbed the phone and only tell the guy your wife having a miscarriage i'm so sorry for your loss and immediately hung up the phone the look on her face was priceless ah good times she was soapy i can't imagine how that conversation went when she got wherever it was she was going plus the ticket for speeding in the stop sign and the ambulance bill about 1 total play stupid games win stupid prizes obligatory not a cop however on my way to work getting off the highway there is a left turn lane and a right turn lane no lights and no other options the left turn lane is where everyone wants to go and usually does move pretty fast but still will pile up during morning rush hour the right turn lane is very clearly marked yield around a smooth corner wide painted triangle collapsible bollards the whole shebang i go to turn right this one morning and this car in front of me decides to skip the 15 cars trying to go left and turns left from the right turn only lane they sped around in unmarked black suv who immediately whipped on its lights and i went to work with a huge justice boner police officers of reddit what's the stupidest unluckiest criminal you faced kid gets arrested for shoplifting and the first thing he says to the cop is i didn't steal that freaking car this morning the cops originally had zero reason to suspect this kid stole and crashed a car until he said that it went from misdemeanor to felony in about two minutes the kid distracted the cop from the shoplifting his strategy worked instead of sharp lifting on his record he only has grand theft auto i was working as a mechanic about 15 years ago i worked on a ford explorer that reeked off weed looked in the center console and found a couple of glass pipes and an empty baggie fixed the issue it came in for and the kid that owned it came to pick it up first thing he does is check the center console he gets out and says i stole all his weed my boss comes down and asks if i took it nope tell him they can check my locker my toolbox my pockets and i'll take a drug test not good enough for the kid he calls the cops to report the theft of his weed a couple officers actually show up and start investigating kid shows them his center console where the weed was and since i was the only one to work on it i must have taken it i told them the same i told my boss they did a cursor research went back to the kid and cited him for possession of paraphernalia i got a random two days later i worked there for about six more years haha officers this guy stole my weed look here's my pipes and stuff but no weed so obviously he stole it jesus christ man a 9-1-1 call from some little kids playing on the phone the father was asleep and they kept trying to wake him up when the 9-1-1 operator asked to speak to an adult he kept yelling no leave me alone now we have to send someone since we can't verify there's no emergency upon arrival officers ask for it and the mother has a warrant one of my co-workers was a passenger in a car the car got pulled over for some reason the driver had a suspended license the cop asked my co-worker if he had a license to drive the car sure did handed the cop his license oops he had a warrant for failure to appear not a cop heard a great story from one though officer pulled a girl going 15 plus over the speed limit on the highway after she got her ticket and was free to go the girl tore off speeding again and got pulled by another officer a few miles later somehow she still didn't learn her lesson the third officer to pull her that day arrived at her window nearly crying with laughter saying you do know we have radios right that is amazing i kinda want to know what they were thinking working in a prison i met a complete idiot who was in for arsenal and attempted murder this guy was gay and had been living with his new boyfriend he also had some mental issues and smoked a lot of weed which would make him paranoid he became convinced that his boyfriend was having an affair with a guy who lived in the apartment across the hall and one day he was home alone and thought he could hear them having a conversation in there he broke in and found that the guy had just left the tv on but because he was already and he thought he'd trash the guy's apartment anyway he made a mess of the place then turned the gas on lined up a bunch of gas canisters and lit a small fire in the dining room the fire alarms went off the building was evacuated and the guy went outside with everyone else to wait for the firefighters to turn up he tried to light a cigarette but realized that he had left his lighter back upstairs so he went back inside to get it he made it to his floor just as the apartment exploded and one of the gas canisters he'd left and there flew through the door and hit him in the head luckily he'd done a crappy job of trying to cause an explosion most of the damage was to his own apartment through a shared wall and the only person he'd managed to injure was himself his boyfriend was at work and the guy across the hall wasn't even gay that sounds like a lifetime movie villain jesus or like home alone i'm not a cop but i recently went to a sheriff training center to take the test to become one one of the other candidates thought it was a good idea to bring nunchucks he decided to whip them out and show them off to some deputies who were posted outside the center he was arrested one cop walked in and said if you think it's a good idea to bring illegal weapons to the cop test then you may as well not even be here today tai learned nunchucks are illegal in car the day guns legal nunchucks illegal america is a strange place military police here i was on patrol by myself working a night shift i get a call on the radio to head to my squad and to pick up a person that would be riding along with me as i arrive i noticed that it was the base commander he wanted to ride along on patrol and get first hand look at what his enlisted cops had to deal with on a saturday night in base housing this sort of thing never happens you'll have better odds winning the lottery without playing then for the dang base commander to come out and do this sort of thing so i pulled up to one of the more famous intersections in the housing area for people running the stop sign we're sitting in the car and making small talk when he spot a car that didn't make a complete stop he tells me to stop him and find out what their deal is he approaches the car with me and we begin to talk to the driver instantly i smell alcohol emitting from his breath i begin to say to myself that this guy is the unluckiest man in the military right now to get pulled over by the base commander while driving drunk after conducting the standardized field sobriety tests on him and seeing how bad he did on them he begins to break down emotionally the base commander gets on the phone with this guy's squad and commander to include everyone in his chain of command and have them meet with him in his office in about 30 minutes i'm putting the cuffs on this guy with another patrol as my backup when the suspect turns to this and tells us that he was set to retire the following month after 24 years of service now i don't know the outcome of this guy's situation but i can definitely say it wasn't good not trying to sound mean but after 24 years of service he should have known better than to frick around right before he retires not an officer but my ex-boss's son got arrested he didn't have a license because of a prior driving under the influence of drugs conviction and was on his way to college in colorado he was still in kansas and his mother who had sworn to boss she would not let him drive got tired and let him drive so he goes too fast and gets pulled over no license well that's trouble the cop asks permission to search the vehicle and they find pot he was in an area where simple possession was still a misdemeanor so still not too bad then the cop asks him about his pot use and brain-dead kid says oh officer i don't smoke it i just have it so i can sell it when i get to school if i need money instant felony oh no that sounds just like my cousin he told the cop no that's not mine i'm just taking it to my friends that made it attempt to distribute there's this guy that was speeding and got pulled over he had no idea and money on him so he called his wife told her he got caught for speeding and asked her to get him his items in the meantime he started to chat with the cops he got all interested in how their equipment works and as he seemed to be a nice guy the cops let him point the laser gun at a car that was speeding into their direction long story short he caught his own wife who was in a rush to bring him his head and money and if she forgot to rid and money then the vicious cycle continues my dad was a police officer and one of my favorite stories of his is when he was chasing a guy who ditched his car and took off during a traffic stop the guy ran about one block jumped over a concrete barrier and dropped it was a good 20-foot fall down to the freeway and the guy broke his leg my dad ran over and looked down as the guy crawled to the middle climbed rolled over between the concrete barriers blocking the two directions he called down that's a good spot just hang out there and then radioed for his partner to bring the car around overall the guy was fine but my dad said he lived in the area and either panicked and forgot where he was or knew he was jumping that far and thought he would make it blindly jumping into oblivion like that happens more often than one would think i'm one of two civilian employees at a pd we get our regulars and this guy is one of them recently he got out of jail and decided he was going to go visit his girlfriend that same day the only problem is she had a no contact order out against him she calls the police and they come to pick him up he also had some other illegal things on him so he got taken straight back to jail he'd only been out for a few hours but wait there's more so his girlfriend has a no contact order against him which isn't like a restraining order where you can't go within a certain distaste of them it's literally no contacting them well this smart guy decides he really wants to talk to his girlfriend so he called her from jail three times she called the police again and they went back to the jail and added more charges violation of a protective order x4 he was smart enough to violate a protective order while he was in jail group of friends mug a couple of tourists one of the muggers is for some reason carrying his own passport which he drops as they run off not quite the same but i'm continually amazed at the number of drug users who expect to get their stash returned the first time you're caught with a small quantity of cannabis in the uk you normally get given a caution there and then on the street you don't get arrested or anything i've dealt with more than a couple of people who genuinely expected that interaction will end with me handing back their drugs you seem to have some crappy friends my family is good friends with the local sheriff he's told me a story where an officer pulled over a man who was quite obviously under the influence when he went to the car to talk to the man he noticed him making a stabbing motion towards his leg the man had stabbed himself with a screwdriver and tried to say he'd been stabbed at a bar and was heading to the air he was heading out of town in the direction where the next hospital or clinic was about 45 minutes away and that's why his driving was wonky if he'd been caught with another dui he'd have lost his license he ended up losing his license anyways and had a lot of hospital bills to pay we've had several over the years who have broken into a house or car and then left on foot following a snowstorm no need for a k9 to track them down also had a guy who had sharp left hid and he knew we were looking for him in the mall we found him hiding in a store and also found the weed he had tried to hide in the pocket of a jacket near where he was hiding he denied the weed being his until i open up the paper it was crumpled up in it was his bond paperwork from the day before where he had been arrested for shoplifting i took him back in front of the same judge who had released him so he could be arraigned on his new charges she was not happy with him and revoked his prior bond also had a guy dine and dash but left his wallet with it on the table not a cop but knows several because of a convenient store job i held where cops came frequently for free coffee and soda it's related we were really desperate for third shifters to the point where my boss hired a friend of my co-worker kid was a complete freaking [ __ ] had a face to two was small and he was told to keep it covered with makeup which to his credit he did had to have concepts explained to him multiple times could barely count change so we had to put him in the back doing stalking one day i get called and because he had apparently been arrested he had apparently offered to sell drugs to another customer in the store in full view of one of the four police officers that were in the store that day they searched his car and found a mess of pills and pot according to one of the cops he claimed that he didn't know that they were in there since it was his mother's car so they searched her house and found more both were arrested we responded to a bank robbery in progress caller surprisingly gives us a good description of both the suspect and the vehicle he got in luckily i was only a couple blocks away i pull on scene and holy crap matching car is still right out front i pull and draw down on the suspect backup gets there and we get him into custody no issues after speaking with the suspect he was still sitting there because his car wouldn't start and he was sitting there cranking the key trying to get it to start tldr when you rob a bank leave your car running then we could have a funny story about a bank robber getting his car stolen while doing the robbery not an officer but my roommate in college was trying to steal a street sign with a couple other guys a cop car rolled up with its lights on and they all fled in different directions roommate ran a block away through backyards and hid in an open garage he thought he was free but a cop on foot found him almost immediately it had snowed hard earlier that night and he just followed the tracks right to the guy tried to steal a frozen chicken by putting it under his hat cooled his head too much and he had a blackout before he could leave the store i heard a good story once that took place in my hometown from the halcyon days when light up sneakers were not just for kids a gentleman with such footwear decided it would be wise to flee on foot from a traffic stop into the pitch dark woods this happened last week we get a call to the projects at 620 hours for a domestic unknown drug apartment while we are responding our dispatcher is advising us that the caller complainant owns the apartment and that the couple that are staying with her are having the domestic as we are getting closer the dispatcher tells us that the couple is breaking everything in the apartment we get there everyone is calm but the apartment has some furniture broken we run everyone's licenses the caller complainant has an active warrant she gets arrested and proceeds to resist because she is high the boyfriend has an order of protection against him from his girlfriend who he is standing next to he gets arrested the girlfriend admits to breaking the furniture she gets arrested three for three hilarious my uncle is a beat cop he once had to intervene in a brawl between drunk chavs and a knight apparently two drunk clouts decided to harass a street performer dressed in a genuine looking plate armor it quickly evolved into a hilarious fight where the chads would wail at the impervious night and injure themselves by punching edges of steel plate before they were separated one of the chavs was badly messed up by being headbutted by a guy in a steel helmet wisely my uncle and his partner decided to let the night go since the guy would normally face charges for using a weapon of swords during a brawl your uncle is a very good man my dad was a cop in the housing projects in brooklyn once there was a report of trespassing and him and his partner had to clear every floor of this building they get to the roof and find a man shoving a full and peel banana up his butt my dad loved telling me this story and it never fails to make me giggle we never did find out why he was doing it though saw a guy pushing his car through an intersection when my light turned green i naturally went to investigate guy had the hood put up and flagged us down and asked for a jump ran the plates as a sop thing and tags are clean but they go to blue toyota and this is a gold suzuki run the vin on the car and it comes a stolen guy says his sister let him drive her car we say no problem we'll sort it all out if that's the case eventually he asks how he can get his stuff out of the trunk we say he can get it back after we sort it out since it's his sister's car right then he tells us now the car belonged to some white dudes i have a bunch of stories my dad is a rcmp officer and was stationed in alberta for most of his career on one occasion some guy was sitting in his attic with a gun waiting to kill police officers that were on their way to his residence the dog handler was one of the guys that arrived on scene and sent his massive german shepherd into the house this thing was apparently pitch black and absolutely ferocious the dog later died on duty and has a statue in bc anyways this dog got into the attic and chased the gunman down clamped onto his shoulder with his teeth and started tearing him apart the guy panicked fumbled with his gun and in the ensuing chaos blew his own head off dog was called off and my dad arrived in time to see the guy's body being pulled out of the attic group of girls hands me a set of keys they took from a sloppy drunk kid who'd been unsuccessfully hitting them in a popular college bar and tried to get into his car and drive off i said one of them flirted with him on the driver's side while her friend snuck in on the passenger's side find the kid passed out behind the wheel of a car parked nearby passenger doors wide open but driver's door is closed and locked knocked on the window strobed my flashlight at him for several minutes notice he's got half a dollar bill sticking out of the cd player like his final act of consciousness was hoping for a snickers finally he wakes up looks at me thinks i'm telling him to move along and tries to start the car but fails because there's no keys then he can't figure out how to unlock the car from inside i figure i'll help him out and use the keys to unlock it only to find out i'm holding gps and he's sitting in a chrysler he blames the bar for letting him get so crappy still had no idea that wasn't his car shows me a military active duty marine corridor instead of his regular dl in hopes of getting out of trouble he's 19 has no friends to call and doesn't know where he's staying spends the rest of the trip to holding begging me not to tell his company military police here thing about getting into trouble in the service is that for some things like a dui you get into trouble both with us and the local law enforcement there was this real junior guy who was driving back to his barracks room drunk somehow he went completely off the road and crashed into a fire hydrant fricked up his new car and did the pretty considerable amount of property damage too anyways this guy decides that before we get there he is going to leave that's not so dumb the dumb parts when he walks back to the scene an hour later claiming he had his car stolen and this was the first he had seen it not only did he still have his keys on him and i guess there was a witness that put him at the scene but he is also very visibly drunk and injured he was also underage which on the civilian side might not count for much but in the military you can get in a lot of trouble just for that but when we bring him back to the station he refuses to tell us who gave alcohol to a minor which i guess means he's loyal but when he's in that much trouble already he really should have just told us anyways so in the end the guy not only has to pay hefty ticket gets knocked down in rank has to pay for his car in the property damage but i'm pretty sure he got a dishonorable discharge as well getting that kind of discharge takes away pretty much all your benefits and makes it ridiculously hard to find a job yep get a dishonorable and it's like having a felony on your record to potential employers not a cop but i have a few that stand out from friends cops i've interacted with first our bases mental health psychologist was married to a highway patrolman one time they were out of the local harbor with their kids about to enjoy a late lunch as they are walking up about 100 yards away they see a guy stumbling to his car he proceeds to get in and then instead of backing out he goes forward into a planter and tree her husband casually walks over reaches in and takes the keys cuffs the guy and calls the local police he learned as a rookie always carry his set of cuffs even off duty you never know next one i was performing honor guard duties for veterans day and they had us presenting the colors with a bunch of local officers before the event we are all hanging out in a room and we ask what's the funniest most freaked up story you have one local cop says i have this and no one will top it he told us how he had to arrest a 19 year old for having sex with a 12 year old in the 19 year olds van when they arrested the 19 year old he stated but i thought she was 14 in california the law is if there is a five year or less difference they won't prosecute unless the parent's victim wants to unfortunately that only applies to minors who are 16 and up so 14 still very illegal not a cop but it was a story in my town's newspaper so this genius gets the bright idea to shoplift some movies and video games from my local walmart he puts the items in his shopping cart picks up a box cutter from the tool isle and finds a blind spot in the toy section while trying to remove the box cutter from its package he slices his hand open in his ensuing panic he throws blood all over the place and runs to the restroom security is alerted of the open package and all they have to do is follow the blood trail and they find the culprit crying and licking his wounds in one of the restrooms stalls on top of the shoplifting charge he was also ordered to pay for all the items that got blood on them i think it was around 250 dollars tl dr shoplifter sucks at hide and seek i don't think they can charge him with shoplifting if he didn't technically steal anything yet he was still in the store with all the items would never hold up in court my sister is a cop she once turned on her lights to respond to a robbery and a nearby car took off dispatch told her to pursue the car as others were also responding to the robbery after a high-speed chase through a residential neighborhood he takes off on foot and escapes in the car he left a trunk full of ecstasy and his payoff girlfriend who tells where he lives guy is busted on all kinds of charges for the chase and one of the biggest ecstasy busts in the department's history all because he saw the lights on the squad car and panicked police over at it what is the absolute worst crime scene you've come across saw a little kid standing on a busy street corner in the dead of winter around two or three years old went up to him to talk to him and found out he had been standing out there for an hour or so while a good samaritan kept eyes on him from across the street in his nice and warm house eventually led the investigation back to a battered woman's shelter nearby the manager recognized the kid and said his mom was upstairs in another room went up there and found out she died from a rage overdose a few days prior broke my heart to think that kid had been in that room with his dead mother for days with little food or water probably crying that his mother wouldn't wake up or talk to him dunno whatever happened to him after that lost kids are common in my city but this one wasn't just the forgetful tourist who didn't keep track of their kid while they snapped photographs everywhere was intense for a while as we pulled resources from neighboring counties to put out the alerts for a priority lost child see no one explains how stuff like this can affect you when you let it into your life but no one warned me and freaking heck yay holding my babies is the only thing that really helps journalists not police but i was often at the same sorts of scenes one partial decapitation in a car accident a drunk kid hit a small car at high speed tore the top completely off driver's body was still heaving and convulsing in the front seat brains and tongues splattered over groceries in the back seat two hugely obese drug dealer goes into his attic to retrieve his stash this is in georgia in the summer collapses from the heat and dies takes neighbors a few days to notice the smell takes a few more before they figure out where exactly it's coming from the police had to cut a hole in the roof of the house to pull his bloated corpse out he fell apart into goo as they were doing it the smell was insane even a quarter mile down the road once the roof was opened up three woman who had been killed by a serial killer unofficially the cops on the scene said they had seen this sort of thing a number of times so they thought it was a serial killing was never proven she was a prostitute and he had beaten her to death and then tightly packed all of her orifices with dirt before dumping her 4. train vs car a mom tried to beat a train with her kids in the car train was too fast when i got to the scene there was a child's head just sitting on the ground completely normal except for the fact that his was detached and the body was nowhere in sight people who try to beat trains are idiots i'm no cop but my stepfather wanted me to tell his story here goes my father got a call about a car crash usually they're pretty bad but this one was the worst he'd ever seen the car had two parents and four kids inside the parents were pulled out immediately and neither had serious injuries they were both understandably scared about their children so he put on some rubber gloves and went into the flipped car all of them were dead and none were clean deaths the youngest spine was protruding from his back and the eldest was missing most of his head another had his face mangled by debris and the last one was cut in the abdomen by his cest belt and there were a fair amount of organs hanging out he had no clue what to do he didn't want those parents to see that so he wrapped them up inside of the car when the mother saw the smallest one come out in a bloody blanket she fell to the ground and just screamed the father walked up to grab the child and my stepfather just said sir i don't think you want to see this and the father just started to wail unlike anything my stepdad had ever heard i'm so sorry he choked out and after they'd taken the bodies he was there to clean up and investigate while he was searching he found a small bloody sock sitting on the ground he told me it was the only time he'd ever cried on the job in his words i've seen grown men blow their brains out i've seen people beat their spouse until their face was mush heck i even had to reach into someone's chest cavity once to resuscitate them but i'll never forget those kids god bless your daddy i hope he finds peace i'm not in law enforcement but ended up working very closely with them on one case that presented to maya a newborn infant had been microwaved by her mother's boyfriend because she wouldn't stop crying after he sexually violated her when changing her diaper the baby's uncle found the baby and got enough neighbors gathered to set the boyfriend on fire police came in first with the baby they gave me a heads up that the boyfriend might follow but they decided to wait for ambulance to show up in transport him probation officer for violent sex offenders here i've got a few i could add to this but this one sticks with me as the worst a doctor in the children's department at a very popular hospital was raping the pre-teen terminally ill girls during the night shift this went on a couple times a month for years before he was finally caught one of the girls lived longer than the doctors expected and complained of pains during an inspection they discovered the rape and posted cameras which eventually caught him he ended up getting probation because ea could afford great lawyers who got him in front of a sympathetic judge and b most of his victims were dead he'd up the pain meds before the act so that there would be less resistance the court never knew the extent of his deviance but after i finally got his polygraphs back we learned the full story he eventually died in custody after we got him on a violation i'm not a cop but a good friend of mine is and he recently told me a story a few weeks ago he got a call to a homicide a 25 year old male had killed a 63 year old male the victim was a father to a 17 year old high school girl the girl had recently began dating a known thug drug dealer the girl's parents had tried to tell her she couldn't date him but she did it anyways as an act of rebellion long story short the guy stabbed the father about 30 times with a chef's knife found in the owner's kitchen after an argument ensued the argument was over him not dating his daughter looks like dad was right when my buddy the cop showed up he said the whole kitchen was literally covered in the man's blood he said the corpse looked like a sliced cow carcass both the girl and her mother were sitting in their dad husband's blood crying hysterically and this kids is why you listen to your parents cop here not the worst crime scene but an interesting one i was dispatched to a call where the wife found her husband unresponsive in his office i show up the room is dark and i find the man in his chair in front of his computer screen the screen is off but i can hear that the fan on the pc is still running anyhow the guy is elderly and is obviously dead his right hand is seized up into a jacking off position and his flyers down with the vienna sausage limp and exposed obviously this dude had a medical episode while whacking the weasel at this point the wife is completely unaware of the circumstances surrounding her husband's death due to the room being dark his close proximity to the desk and her reluctance to approach the body sometime passes the emmy shows up with body removal and the guy is wheeled away as i am wrapping up the scene and the wife is in another room with family my curiosity gets the better of me i know for a fact that at his age the guy needed some visual stimulus at a minimum to prime the pump remembering that the computer was on but the screen had shut off i reached for the mouse when i moved the mouse the screen turned on to holy dear god of all that is horrible on the internet let's get one thing straight as a male i have seen my fair share of what is out there in the naked world but what popped up on that screen was about 20 open tabs of the darkest p the darkest parts of the web has to offer what struck me most was the amount of painful looking gay torture p this guy had open not going to lie at this point i felt like a teen again afraid my mom was going to walk in at any moment i was at a crossroad do i break the news to his grieving wife and family a couple rooms over heck no i closed all those tabs and hoped this guy was browsing on private to dead guy i hope that i was a bro for you even though i didn't know you and if anyone ever finds me in that same situation please do the same for me r.i.p dead guy not in the police but i just finished serving on a jury for a capital murder trial a couple of weeks ago basically a guy beat his two-year-old son to death and during sentencing it came out that he molested his four-year-old daughter as well as part of the trial we had to view all the forensic photos of this poor kid 84 bruises 15 broken ribs head contusions brain hemorrhage lacerated intestine and the list went on and on most of the jurors were shaking with rage when we returned to the jury room that day your honor we find the defendant guilty of all charges plus some more we just came up with we also sentenced the defendant to death by disembowelment i'm that's not how this works i wasn't on the call itself but was relieving units who needed a break they were dispatched to a home after the father came home to a grisly scene apparently him and his wife were having marital problems they had three kids not sure what the issue was but the next day after a huge argument the husband went to work while at work the wife said i'll show him she took his loaded shotgun and while the kids were napping shot them one by one first the toddler then the middle child the eldest woke up she consoled him until he fell back asleep and then shot him as well then she left a heartfelt note about how it was all his fault that she did this she then blew her head off in the foyer for him to find when he got home he came home to losing his entire life that one was one of the most disturbing and vile things i've ever experienced i've grown to feel numb to almost anything due to this job but that one still makes me sad i'm not sure what happened afterwards but i believe he killed himself months later we can blame him i'm a bit late to the party but here goes my stepfather worked traffic homicide for years and encountered any number of frankly gruesome things but the story i remember really sticking out in my mind involved a car hitting electric pole on a rainy night the car's occupant had in the course of the accident become decapitated sheared completely off the electric pole was severely damaged one of the lines breaking and falling down to rest in a puddle which now also contained the severed head the electrical charge was apparently causing the head to bounce and sizzle in a very disconcerting fashion to put it lightly not completely what opie is looking for but a horrible scene nonetheless my grandfather's friend was a truck driver for many years and on one night while he was driving a car swerved across the median and hit his truck head-on killed everyone inside the car and to make it worse they had just crossed into america legally so this small sedan had about six more people than it should have held stuffed into hollowed-out places so when he hit the car a red mist just exploded out he had people stuck up under the hood of his truck and it was a huge mess fricked him up for a while probably fricked up any responding officers too i had an old co-worker who used to drive the 18-wheeler for our company and had a man commit suicide by walking out in front of his truck he could no longer drive a ride in a vehicle after that would ride his bike or walk to work i hope your grandfather's friend ended up being somewhat okay after i'm sure it's hard to come back from that i once went to a scene where our ex-boyfriend show up at the house where the girl lived he knocked and then started firing a shotgun through the door hitting a toddler he then went in and shot the girl's mother i still remember chunks of flesh and underarm hair stuck to the wall short the father and then left the girl was out for the evening he then left the gun and a suicide knot at the top of a bridge he went on the run instead of killing himself and was captured shortly thereafter by the marshals fricked up seen i posted the same story on a similar topic a while ago but here goes several years ago i attended a student state police academy ages 15 17 one of the students asked our drill instructors what were their weirdest calls a few funny ones went by like a trooper stopping a box truck loaded from the bottom to top every square inch filled with dead goats and then having to figure out who to call to make sure this isn't a health core violation the final state trooper to respond to their weirdest call story was probably one of the more tougher more serious and older drill instructors at the time he was a trainee assigned with a field training officer the pair of troopers respond to a neighbor's complaint and were greeted at the resident by a heavily inebriated male individual completely nude besides a small two to dress around his waist at this point this imagery produced a few snickers in the group he went on to say that the individual had an erection with blood all over but no visible signs of the cut upon further inspection the troopers found stuffed under the kitchen table an unconscious three-year-old bleeding from the anus because the inebriated individual was her father who had just finished raping her in his drunken state while that in it of itself is an image nobody should see i'll never forgot the trooper's description of having to restraining his field training officer from blowing that guy's brains out the fto drew his firearm and put it right to the guy's head and was probably going to blow this guy's brains out if the trainee had not tackled him that's some real emotion right there it's easy for us to sit in hindsight and say we wouldn't have shot this guy that's against the law but in the heat of the moment would you have it goes to show you that under stress anybody anyone can do anything also we'll never forget people's mild laughing smiles going completely stone cold serious when the story progressed literally like a bomb went off for me it was like time froze i don't remember anything but visualizing that story even though i know it was 100 degrees out and we were all just sitting in the grass getting bitten by bugs enjoying the moment up until then unfortunately for many in police fields that's the sad reality of it and if that doesn't send shivers up your spine i don't know what good god bless those that deal with these people sometimes you wonder why these cops look grumpy and all serious but after a story like that i've learned to look at these people and see in their faces they've seen heck my father-in-law is a retired state trooper he was called to respond to the two-vehicle accident near his home that's where he spent his final minutes with his wife before she died trapped in her vehicle there was a post on here a while ago from a cop where some guy grabbed a baby put it under his arm and ran at the wall using the baby's head as a battering ram the baby somehow survived and the guy was arrested a bunch come to mind hard to rank them because they are also unique one was a 95 year old lady who lived alone and stopped answering phone calls from her son he went to her house and found her about a week later she died while in the bathtub her head was resting on the edge of the tub looking up with her mouth extremely wide open she had hundreds of bugs pouring out of her eyes nose and mouth it was straight out of a horror movie you could smell it from the front porch i felt really bad for her son no one should ever have to see their mother like that posting on the behalf of my friend sitting next to me worst crime scene i've been to was six-month-year-old baby being thrown out a six-story window because the mother believed she was possessed by the devil friend's dad is a cop keep in mind this was during a really bad ice storm a few years ago and in the country about a good 15-20 minutes from a town and wasn't a very busy road got called from a woman saying she hadn't talked to her mom in a few days which was weird since they talked every day when to go check on her drove up to the address and saw a truck sitting in gate got out and walked up didn't see anything in or around the truck decide to walk past that's when i saw it old lady was by the mailbox she fell into a puddle and had literally frozen over fire department had to come to basically burn her out then i decided to walk up to the house after calling in what happened dole was slightly open i walked in and announced myself no answer walked around and her husband had died staring out the window at her he was handicapped and in a wheelchair didn't have any power in the house for a week and didn't have a cell phone he died watching his wife freeze to death dear god this is sad this is a story i got from the local police lieutenant during an interview for a college paper it was halloween night and my campus has a somewhat notorious halloween party throughout town police actually walk the streets in riot gear that night and normally get a lot of nice costumes dudes anyway they get a call to break up a fight at a house party they arrive and are trying to push through all the drunk people to find who's actually fighting they got to the fight which was actually taking place the next house over on the sidewalk but a second too late they watched as one kid pushed the other in front of a speeding tow truck basically causing this kid's body to explode into a bloody mess i think the kid who pushed him got involuntary manslaughter or something like that not police i am a student studying crime went to a lecture given by the head of the missing person department in our country it's not the worst the guy has seen he has investigated the type of serial killers that kidnap rape and murder underage girls in his basement but it was the story that stuck to me the most a six-year-old girl went missing search teams couldn't find the girl all leads ended up nowhere eventually after two three weeks of the girl being missing they find her dead body in the trunk of a parked car in a random parking lot he said that in the missing person's business this is good news because bad news is better than no news after finding the body they drove to the parents home he said that when you drive up onto the driveway and are about to open the car door you realize that 10 seconds later you are going to knock on their door and 10 seconds after that they are going to open that door and you are going to destroy those parents lives attended scene or tipsy of a 13 year old who was hunting with his 11 year old brother and accidentally shot him dead center in the back of the head with a slug meant for deer the kid looked bad enough when i got there and had already expired his face looked like a fassa haggar if you want context feel really really bad for the brother as he attempted to do cpr and stuff obviously in a panic as his brother was likely just expelling blood everywhere and not actually still alive this poor kid will not only remember shooting his little brother but actually seeing the aftermath and putting his face on it obviously far worse for the kid than anyone else this one's a bit of a cliche and not really a crime scene few months old doa elderly women with no family just two dogs family out of state asked for us to check on her got into her apartment she had been dead a few months other than the smell the sight of her eating off fingers by the starving dogs that were there i'm going to guess you mean a cliche a clique is a group of people tragic though old folks living alone seems to not be a good idea cop friend of mine was first on the scene to the monkey ripping that woman's face off in ct he had serious ptsd after that i work at a police department reviewing old cases i'd say the worst i've ever come across so far was an older man who was found dead in his home by his son doesn't sound too bad at first until you see realize that he was found kneeling next to his bed pants around his knees playboy on the bed in front of him and dong still in his hand dead two days and found by his son midfap actually you would be amazed by how many corpses are found photographed partially or fully naked a lot of them are found in the bathroom with their pants down collapsed onto the floor with poop in the toilet on the floor on the person i'd say eighty percent of our untimelies are found partially naked with poop somewhere nearby currently just a volunteer but hoping to hold the official title and roll soon a few months back there was a call out to someone who had jumped in front of a train fairly certain it was done purposefully but no one knows for sure and i haven't followed up on it lady had her legs severed and her stomach area was caved inwards sort of like in those cartoons where their stomachs are flat against the road after being run over but with more intestines and stuff that had burst out of various exit points from the pressure was given the option to go home for the day after that but decided to stay some guy later in the day called us good phil nothing pigs which made me realize how quick people are to judge us without even knowing what we do or have to deal with was very new to it at this point not a good day and police one man who had his head chopped away down to his chin by a rim head with a tobacco knife said m head had previously been cutting the grass with the knife before flipping his lid and removing the victims two fatal wreck where a man hit a loaded dump truck head on his vehicle disintegrated pretty much he slid on the pavement grinding his legs off to the upper thigh scattered most of his body along the roadway three an elderly man died while under a heating blanket cooked low and slow for a couple of days four lady died in a bathtub this makes people stew water bodies suck it goes on and on they all have their little quirks that make them the worst in their own unique special snowflake kind of way not me by my police trade school teacher told me a story of such a fricked up crime scene he was a part of there was this beautiful woman could have been a model and she was naked in the floor of her hotel room her head not attached to her body and blood everywhere the entire hotel was a crime scene and my teacher kept seeing cops sneak in to see the hot dead chick and my teacher who had command was furious you kicked them all out and tried to do his job until his higher up i think a lieutenant came in by asking around i heard the hot headless chick was here since he was a higher rank the second he stepped in he took command of the scene and my teacher never did find out what happened except some cops care about seeing a hot corpse than doing their job i'm pretty sure being headless takes a corpse from hot to not the icicle man outside of smaller city in idaho pop 27k is a kind of shanty town affectionately known as welfare the only business is a little convenient store a lady runs out of her house welfare it has at least a 90 unemployment rate anyways it's the dead of winter and around minus 20 degrees f get a call about a missing persons a man of 70 hasn't been seen or heard from in over a month get at his trailer home and come across the following scene man's gas had been shut off due to lack of payment but electricity was still on a man had water bed with an electric heater to warm the water looks like man had been stabbed on the bed he rotted down to essentially a soup-like consistency his liquefied remains had dribbled off the edge of the heated water bed to form intricate icicles off the edge the icicle man was the absolute worst former paramedic here was called to a murder scene not for the victim but for a rookie female cop who starting vomiting and then became catatonic at the scene a woman had killed her husband with a blast from a shotgun he was drunk naked and farted right in her face at the dinner table she got the gun shoved it into his stomach fired and blew the back half of his torso away then after he was already dead she put it in his mouth and blew his head off the cop was unable to continue and resigned a few days later my dad used to work the he told me about how they figured out the cartels used to use stillborns and orphans to traffic drugs they would kill the kids and preserve them so that they could stitch c and h inside their bodies they would hand the stuffed kids off to a girl that looked like a mom and they would pretend their kid was sleeping when they were crossing a border went on for years until a drug dog attacked one of the stuffed infants and see snowed everywhere i was on vacation in tokyo a long time ago strolling through the streets one day i came to a train crossing and several pedestrians stopped as the train approached one guy a mid-fifties salaryman in a cheap suit turned to me put his finger over his lips and said s-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h then jumped in front of the train it happened so fast i couldn't tell what happened it was like he was there looking me in the eyes then he took a step back and was replaced by a train still shakes me to this day even though i have no idea what happened or why there was something casual about it he wasn't totally insane or disheveled he looked like a guy on his way home from work paramedics firefighters cops what is the weirdest thing you've come across during a call when i was on the fd we had a call for a power line down at a cell tower up on a hill in the middle of nowhere this was during a bad storm power company trucks were all tied up already when we got turned out we get there and the power line for the cell tower is lying in the road there is a number on the shack at the bottom of the antenna so we call the number while trying to get a hold of someone from the cell tower which is running on a generator and possibly still energizing the line that is laying the street we realize the door to the shack is unlocked so we're all standing inside it out of the rain but the assistant chief is on his phone talking to some guy about the antenna and all of a sudden he goes pale white like a ghost then walks out the door into the rain and tells us all to get out turns out the guy on the phone had told him that whatever happens don't go in the shack because it is infested with brown recluse spiders that are attracted by the warmth everyone was crapping bricks when they heard that sorry if i rambled i'm well into a nice bottle of rye oh there was a time in the winter when we were looking for body parts in a field after a bad accident trudging around in knee deep snow this old timer steps on something round and hard and crunches it he almost fainted he thought he had stepped on someone's head turns out the field was an old pumpkin patch and it was a frozen pumpkin my uncle was an emt and fire captain for a while he does some different training type stuff no which means he doesn't go out on calls much anymore anyway his weirdest story was about two guys who got killed by a farmer his firehouse was on the border of a suburb and farming community so with there being a lot of land people would go ride dirt bikes and motocross bikes these two guys like to jump some dirt piles or what have you on this one farmer property and he didn't like it he tried to get them to stop in various way but finally he had enough of it he one day put up in a clearing open pathway thing of high test fishing line or something like that between two trees one of the guys on a motorcycle came through at head level and didn't get his head taken off but the line seriously cut into his neck and he ultimately bled out and died my uncle was the one who was called to the scene to try and save him but he was pretty much dead when he got there he says that call has always sort of bugged him because it was a younger kid 20 something and it was such a cruel way for the farmer to deal with his problem my mom's cousin was riding a dirt bike through the woods one day and hit a barbed wire at neck level that decapitated him i get told that story every time i even think of buying a bike went out on a wreck where these two out-of-state kids over-corrected vid off the road hit a dirt hill and landed in a tree neither of them were seriously injured but it sure was a sight to see a brand new tundra stuck in a tree about six feet off the ground for our friends outside the usa six feet comma one point eight m yeehaw a guy had accidentally hung himself in his garage he literally had a contraption he had built that held him in a harness one of his arms controlled a rope that was attached through a pulley system with a cord cob at the end as he pulled the rope the cord cob did the job on his backside the other arm controlled the same kind of pulley but at the end was a noose that was tied around his neck needless to say he pulled a little too tight on the noose end it was a nice normal neighborhood and the guy was married with kids with a seemingly completely normal life if autoerotic asphyxiation is wrong i don't want to be old zlx7 zyto jnmv i've got a few i came to an unconscious unresponsive young male in a bathroom w massive bleeding it turns out he was getting frisky w a plunger and his feet slipped out underneath him and it just ripped his hollow and solid organs apart he was obviously doa another was her old lady whom hadn't been seen outside her apartment for quite some time and wasn't answering the door we knew she had died as we could smell her from outside the fire department knocked down her door i told the firefighter to go in and he was like no way it would be an emergency fully knowing that she was almost 100 dead lights were all turned off and it was 2 am so each room i had to flip the switch there were bloody paw prints all over the place and in the bathroom the toilet seat had been flipped up and there were bloody paw prints all around it as well when i flipped the bathroom light i was pretty sure what i would see but it was worse than i had expected the cats had started to eat her after she had died i was 19 at that time it seems i have scrolled too far down the comments tt i'll keep this one short we responded to a call where a mid 50-something-year-old semi-frail looking male bit his early 20-year-old something son who probably outweighed the father by about 150 pounds or so about 25 times all over his body everywhere arms neck torso legs it was ridiculous they were deep marks too like he was trying to rip skin away apparently they got into an altercation over who knows what and the wife mother had to break it up by threatening them both with a large kitchen knife which the police confiscated but the kicker was there were no drugs or alcohol involved another was when we responded to a child who fell and hit his head on a tire that was sitting in their yard why it was there i have no clue but anyways i went to check his pupils when i noticed one was completely fricked up it looked almost like a tiny cat's eye i almost flipped an absolute crap because this kid seemed perfectly fine vital's good talking to this properly but the size of his pupil when compared to the other indicated moderate to severe head trauma plus the whole abnormal pupil shape which i've never seen before well after i flipped a crap to myself i asked the mother it turns out he was stabbed in the eye by his sister with a pencil when he was younger this my friend is why you must always get a good patient history my mother who was a case manager for a while had two interesting stories a homeless woman who was a paranoid schizophrenic came into my mother's office with a severe infection in her foot when my mother asks her if she thinks she's ready to be discharged she proceeds to tell my mom that she did not have an infection in her foot but that she was turning into a pterodactyl and the other is that another man who had schizophrenia explained to my mother that the voices in his head told him to cut off his dong and feed it to his dog and he did okay i'm an emt one of my teachers told me once about the craziest call he's ever received he's sitting at the station and he gets a call for a lacerated finger they arrive at the house and sure enough a woman is sitting at the table with an extremely bloody finger they patch up the wound and head out the door and before they get on the truck the woman taps him on the shoulder and says that's not really why i called you and he says well what's the issue mom and she responded with i crap you not i have razor blades in my fanny apparently this woman had a sleeping disorder in which she would sleep walk and put crap in her tea and butt well i suppose that's a fairly decent contraceptive i'm a volunteer emt a chubby lady in her 30s made a 9-1-1 for severe abdominal pain it's two in the morning so i just woke up tired and drowsy as my partner and i get to her house the husband is there at the door and tells us it's no big deal we walk inside and find the woman laying on the floor on newspapers surrounded by cats must have been four or five cats laying next to her licking her tea yes the woman was giving birth she did not know she was pregnant we saw the little baby being delivered next to cats even worse they had their four-year-old boy stand next to her as he watched his mother gave birth in pain the little boy was crying the cats were still licking her the husband was standing there like it was no big deal we had to call our county back and update them about the situation they sent paramedics to assist the cops showed up before we even got there told us it was ugly they were right when i was still doing clinicals for my emtb cert i had a ride along with a company that serviced rural areas the first call we went to was a woman with chest pains we pulled up to a house that looked like it was made with toothpicks and styrofoam it was a dilapidated shanty in the middle of the woods cue the drop of my stomach knowing this is going to be a weird one we walk in and the floor is dirt not covered in dirt actual dirt there was a burn barrel in the corner no electricity and a dinghy mattress on the floor covered in tattered blankets the pt looked rather weary while i was checking her vitals and i could see the shame in her eyes we put her in the back of the truck for transport i gave her some nitro and tried to talk with her a bit it was a really sad and strange thing and it still sticks out in my mind seven years later of course we had a looped out drug user later in the day that was weird too but only because i've never seen someone enjoy drinking activated charcoal that much we were dispatched to an elderly couple's residence with a woman calling in to report that her husband had fallen in the shower groans from myself and my partner as we banted about who would have to deal with the soggy old man parts should anything be wrong down there we reach the residence and are led upstairs to the shower where we find a perfectly alert older man sitting down on one of those handicapped fold-out shower seats the shortened conversation goes like this hello sir i'm john and this is smith with paramedics and are here to help how about we give you a hand and help you stand up i can't stand up yeah we know that's why your wife called if you let us take your arms we can help lift you up no son you don't understand i can't stand up take a look at the seat and you'll see what i mean the construction of this particular shower seat with several wooden slats arranged horizontally with the attachment points of hinges that could swivel just slightly when the poor guy fell backwards in the shower he plopped down with such force that the slats open side to side allowing just enough space for his nut sack to squeak through after which the slats probably snapped back into place firmly binding him to the chair we tried to open the slats again but that only succeeded in applying pressure on things which obviously did not want to be pulled on at that moment eventually we called for an engine company who extricated the poor guy by cutting off the entire seat which is how he was transported never did get to find out how things ended up for him all emergency response jobs and medical jobs are no longer on my list of full-back positions thanks everyone a real team effort ensure that if anyone needs to count on me for any medical problem i will just start vomiting in the corner lol if that's how why you feel i strongly suggest you do not ever try and take a look at a car accident on the side of the road when you drive by you may get much much more than you bargained for as a volunteer firefighter i can say i've seen something that is now forever implanted into my brain while i was in the app bay doing my training and learning the rigs and whatnot when i hear this banging on the roll-up doors i run over open it up and these guys start saying help my friend he's bleeding man hurry up so i run inside tell the paramedics they go outside while i grab the gurney and when i get there i notice a younger guy probably in his early twenties with a blood-soaked crotch i begin to think to myself now why one earth is there blood all over this guy's pants right in that region lol so we get him on board cut his pants off and look down there apparently he went to sit on his drummer's stool the seat rocked off and he sat straight down onto the metal pole which then pierced through his scrotum and left his testies hanging out pretty gnarly but luckily he was taking it like a champ props to him for that it must have hurt like balls well he had his hands in his pants the whole time when we cut the pants off his fingers were actually inside his scrotum he didn't know that his nuts were hanging out or that there was another hole down there basically all we did was grab some gauze place it all down there not inside and just drove him with his hand in his nuts lol i thought that was for me but interesting anyways lol i'm a uk firefighter one time i had the unluckiest guy he was a raging alcoholic and he decided he wanted to end it all by throwing himself from the top of the hospital so he jumps off [ __ ] misses the floor he hits another roof so dazed he tries to aim for some metal railings in the hope of impaling himself he jumps again overcompensated for this jump due to previous failed attempt he hits the wall on the other side and slides down into an open sewer outlet still alive as it was one of my first days on the job i was sent in to get him it's not easy to reason with a drunk homeless guy he literally cannot kill himself will's knee deep in crap and pee good times i had a guy once who accidentally got shot in the butthole with with a speargun the spear entered about 2.5 feet into his body he was alive and laughing another time a lady on her way to a hot date was shaving her vag while driving in order to save time seems legit well she swerved into the bushes and crashed her car about 30 feet deep into the woods swerved into the bushes lol once we responded to a call african-american child four years old severe burns on face and shoulders turns out his mom had been cooking chicken wings and he reached up and grabbed the pan and pulled it down oh grease burns airway so we say we're responding and our eater is 15 minutes not five minutes pass dispatch 301 301. go ahead mother reports having applied mustard to babies burns a wives tale in the south acknowledged dispatch five more minutes dispatch 301 301 go ahead mother said the child didn't like the mustard so she washed it off and applied ketchup aside he muttered she won't stay on the dang phone for me to tell her no at this point my partner snapped back on the radio 301 dispatch go ahead 301 301 wants to know if mother is trying to turn baby into a hot dog over laughed my butt off until we actually saw the poor little bastard he looked horrible all burned and condimented some people are just too stupid to have children yeesh a relative of mine is a nurse so she's not necessarily a first responder but this is still a weird incident one day she was doing a pelvic exam on a morbidly obese woman she lifted up one of the lady's fat rolls for some reason and under that role was her horse still in the wrapper she shows the patient what she found and how does that patient react the patient takes the whole horse from the my relative and proceeds to eat them during the pelvic exam being unaware that there is food on your person due entirely to your level of obesity should be grounds for entry into a mandatory weight loss program i did a ride along with a police officer once i was with him from 3 30 to about midnight the first call of the evening was to a lacrosse game a player had sustained serious injuries when we got there the paramedics had already arrived and were dealing with the player the kid's female had snapped and punched trough the skin the bone was jammed deep into the dirt and the kid was in a position where all of his weight was on the snap femur sort of like a half-kneel half-sit he used his lacrosse stick to balance the bone was maybe three inches into the ground very little blood some muscle tissue i threw up eventually the paramedics sedated the kid because he would scream when they tried to move him just awful i went to college for natural resources law enforcement didn't really learn much but we heard many stories of our professors past experiences so here is one of the weirdest he was working in a state park in northern ohio at the time he got called to the restrooms by an older lady who said that she had seen a man sneak into the women's bathroom and hadn't seen him come out yet his partner and him went and checked it out and there was no one to be seen they came back out and asked the lady if she was sure that he hadn't came out yet and she said that she was positive they went back in just to make sure and they took a look into the toilets they were the outhouse style bathrooms and there the man was waist deep in crap covered head to toe in it i remember a news article about a guy who did this in some outdoor bathrooms at the bottom of a hiking trail he said he went down there so he could get pictures of girls going to the bathroom messed up man a friend of mine came and talked to a few of my friends about drug abuse he is a former cop he told us a story about how a man on pcp got into a dispute with his wife and eventually escalated to him ripping off his own manhood with his bare hands they took him to the emergency room although while assuring him as he requested that nobody else would touch his manhood until they got him into surgery i have a friend who is a paramedic and he got called out to a situation in a trailer park 16 year old girl won't tell about the condition he comes in and finds her with her pants down white washcloth covering her junk a long story short her boyfriend gave her crabs and with her 16 year old carnally repressed trailer trash influenced mind she thought it was a good idea to spray raid all over her junk red swollen genitalia losing some sort of pus like discharge i don't remember what all he did for her other than put her on ice while taking her to the hospital and the only thing he heard afterwards was that something had to be drained when the doctors took her in oh god that stuff is dangerous if you just spray it in the air around you i'm none of those things but my bro is a cop and his wife is an emt one of my close friends is an emt as well so i've heard a few stories one of the first stories i heard from my brother was during his first month on the job they got called out to this guy who was walking around with a gun talking about killing himself several cops get there and have weapons drawn in case he points it to them or anyone but he just keeps it on himself yelling well he finally pulls the trigger no shot goes off then he does it again no shot again no shot then like the fourth or fifth time he finally gets the gun to fire and doesn't hit himself well enough to kill himself only blow off half his face and still be alive i guess that's not funny but it was a heck of a story for his first not generic call my emt friend told me about a guy they had a call for that ended up having a celeb stuck up his butt they were totally professional no laughing or anything all the way to the hospital with the thing running in the ambulance they kept it together they get to the hospital and the first thing the doctor says is does he want me to take it out or just change the batteries and they all lost it cop buddy of mine once told us about a domestic disturbance call he got it was two gentlemen gentleman a was inserting a mayonnaise jar into gentleman b and inserted it more so than gentleman b preferred so enraged gentleman b hit gentleman a over the head with a frying pan whilst threatening to kill him after the police arrived the two had to be taken to the air one to be treated for blunt force trauma to the head the other for the removal of said mayonnaise jar the end thank god i thought the jar might have shattered a man late at night walks into a with a huge overcoat on backwards on his crotch region is a huge bulge the man asks to go see a male doctor immediately with emphasis on the male he walks into the room takes off his overcoat and there is a cat on his dong he was freaking the cat and because the human dong is too large it killed the cat because the cat died all of its muscles clenched up and the cat was stuck on his dong tl dr don't freak a cat i cried a little friend who used to be an emt responded to a call concerned a large woman with diabetes he ended up becoming friends with her dude is seriously the most charismatic mother you'll ever meet later down the line she had to get an above the knee amputation some time later he came to visit her in the hospital she was in a wheelchair he was sitting in his own chair she starts putting the moves on him punctuated by rubbing her stump against his leg needless to say they don't keep in touch comma rubbing her stump against his leg i won't lie that's kind of adorable my father told me this story he was talking to the firefighter chief apparently a naked black man broke into the firehouse got into a battalion chief's office and began smearing his poop on the walls when the battalion chief got there apparently he screamed like a little girl guy reached out the window and hit the electric wires with a curtain rod no idea why someone would do this when you take a big shock like that there is an entrance wound where you make contact and an exit wound where the charge returns to earth usually this is on the patient's feet unless of course in leaning out the window your junk was in contact with the windowsill tl dr guy manages to burn his junk off completing a circuit i used to work with a guy who was an emt in milwaukee wi and said that the stupidest call he got was for a guy who had a big zit on his face the guy requested to be hauled out by gurney sounds about right i had someone come in by ambulance last week because her foot had been hurting for about 20 minutes for trauma or injury was just sitting on the couch and her foot was in her words just a little sore and i wanted to make sure it wasn't broken searching for a man's nose sliced off by his visor on his motorcycle helmet on first shift i can't explain the physics but his nose was sliced not ground off on the road with the amount of blood on the helmet visor we assumed it was the sharp edge a man with compound fracture of his femur that pieced his car door and pinned him to it yes he went to the hospital with the inner interior part of the door still attached a guy who stuck a shotgun in his mouth and blew off his head and good portion of the car roof he was sitting in the old vocation jetta now with a sunroof a steel door leading to a marijuana grow up in a house that had a pit dug in the floor on the other side with landscape beams with spikes in them as a trap basically they had it set up so if you kicked in the door and rushed in to rip them off you would fall in the pit as soon as you rushed in as you would not expect it vietnamese punji pit style if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: On Tap Studios

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Keywords: police stories, reddit police, cops of reddit, police story, cops stories, storytime cops, police, cops, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, reddit stories 2021

Id: HzieUTW-Otk

Length: 217min 45sec (13065 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 02 2021