Job Interviews from Hell (Reddit Compilation)

people who interview job applicants what's your best things were going well until story hiring a developer i asked details about the languages he has on his resume oh i don't actually know any of those i put it on there to get an interview the languages were obscure and he had already passed the interview and i was genuinely curious how he had run into them i was once interviewing a guy who said he had perl programming experience i asked him what dollar sign is in perl he didn't know we weren't looking for a pearl programmer but he still got a no i asked the applicant about their strengths and they spoke about how result focused they were going well so far and then they started sharing examples of unethical things they did to get the job done bribing customers sharing misleading information etc clearly that was the end of that interview they probably thought it was normal because no one had ever told them it was wrong not my story one from a friend she was doing first-round interview screening for role when a dude from a dating app who pumped dumped and ghosted just a few weeks earlier walks through from reception turns out he was using a fake name on his profile she described it as an abe simpson moment where he walked through the door had a sudden realization and did a 180 straight out the door without saying a single world at least he recognized her it would be even worse if he completely forgot who she was when i was becoming an assistant manager i had to sit in on an interview my boss took a look at the guys resume and went into the usual line of questioning at one point he asked why the interviewee had left his previous job the interviewee said he quit my boss then asked another series of questions which eventually caused the interviewee to slip up and say that he had not quit but rather had been asked to leave the interview he got up and left once he realized he had been caught in a lie after he was gone my boss turned to me and said something like you know i saw the felony and alternative school and really wanted to give him a chance he was doing fine until i caught him lying asked a warm-up question to an applicant and they went about it for 20 minutes without stopping or letting me interject to ask any of the main questions at one point i interrupted them and said something along the lines of that's great let's move to another topic just to be told that they were not done hadn't gotten to the point yet and then proceeded to keep talking about the same thing for the reminder of the interview without me ever getting to ask any relevant question filibuster until they have to hire you the candidate went on a five-minute rant about his parents and how much he hated them not sure what set him off on that one but crazy is not a good look we had a guy 40s that we hired tell the room he was going home to kill his parents because they decreased his allowance to 1500 a month on top of paying his living expenses boss called the cops guy got unruly cops used their taser i had an applicant tell me during the interview that her mother is outside and if she can now bring her mother into chat some more this applicant was interviewing for her first employment as a full medical doctor it amazes me that this is a lot more common than it should be hiring some senior devs on paper one candidate sounds great in the interview we have a 15-minute window for a challenge 5-minute introduction to a new pretty rare programming environment and language and a business problem how would you solve this problem you don't have to code just describe what you'd be looking for what you do can i call my partner whole room blinks we were interviewing for a comic shop sales position this guy is doing great has the vibe we like and really seems to know his stuff then bam he goes on a tangent about human puppers puppy play and the variations it can take i'm not one to king shame but dang if it wasn't unprovoked he's a good dog brent i did some interviews for the help desk i worked at many many many years ago it was some light technical questions followed by troubleshooting scenarios where you would just walk us through how you solve a problem one of the technical questions was give an example of a browser plug-in the candidate proceeded to explain that a browser plug-in is something you plug into your computer to either sit on the monitor a webcam or help you with your browsing a mouse and keyboard they also missed all of the other questions we asked on the plus side they were very confident in the answers they gave us i'm pretty sure the third party help desk my company uses did end up hiring them i'm a young female software engineer and i was interviewing this old school 90s movie type program a guy who knew kabul really well i usually ask a tough algorithms problem and i didn't expect him to do well but i was preparing to make the argument that he has so much real world experience and could add some diversity to our collective skill sets and culture so we should consider hiring him anyway i start with an easy version of the problem and it's fine he doesn't do great but i expected that then i start explaining the harder version of the problem but before i could finish he says the problems are exactly the same i'm taken a bit aback but i start to try to explain how the problem is different and then he just starts yelling at me why he thinks the problem is the same i sat down from the white board and processed what just happened in silence for a few minutes if i felt i had the authority to end it where i would have but i didn't so i attempted to continue i work up the courage to start speaking again to try to help him and as soon as the first sound comes out of my mouth he immediately starts aggressively talking over me more of why he thinks the problem is the same and asks in a very patronizing tone if i understand what he's saying my boss gave me authority to just end interviews in the future if there being and but this isn't my story but i know of someone who was part of a committee hiring a new professor at the final stage they had two candidates they all liked so they took them both to dinner individually pretty standard in academia the first guy did really well but after the meal he picked up his plate and just started licking it licked him clean the committee was pretty weirded and grossed out the second guy also does well but he eventually asks so what's the university's policy on dating students the committee was like i guess we're going with the plate liquor this one is my absolute favorite i was doing a basic boilerplate interview in 2009 for an entry-level position everything was going well until my last question i try to keep the last question kind of fun but also try to get an idea of how they view money since their job is handling thousands of dollars a day in cash so i ask them if you had a million dollars right now what would you do with it the normal boring answer is invest most of it and spend a little on stuff this person's answer wasn't that i'd put about half away for retirement and the other half i'd invest into buying as many drugs as i can so i could resell them i have plenty of contacts and the return on investment is pretty good if you buy bulk needless to say that's a bit of a red flag this is because people try and steal the daily deposit buy resell drugs that night then complete the deposit in the morning it happens much more than you think yep my old job we were paid extra to take the day's deposit to the bank and of course a pill popper s girl kept giving it to her pimp-like boyfriend i say that in quotation because she came on to any guy that she could mooch off lol to flip and my boss figured it out quick assistant manager here i was interviewing this young man and he was doing a solid till he said man that co-worker of yours i wanna frick her my first professional job was in our manager at a small factory i was interviewing an applicant for a job in our quality control unit during the interview his cell rings and he stops the interview and takes a call he ends the call and tells me he just got another job offer and accepted the position he proceeds to tell me his buddy is in the lobby and would be perfect for the job he was interviewing for with us he wanted to go get him to take his spot at the interview i could not believe what i had just witnessed i declined to interview his buddy as he had not applied for the job some people are unreal that's being a serious wingman right there i didn't interview a job applicants but for one job they interviewed two of us at the same time for the same position which was worker at gas station they asks questions and for one i would answer first then he'll answer next one first and so on it's my first job interview ever as i just finished high school and the guy i was up against was more qualified in every way so one question was what would you do if would find out that our station manager is stealing stuff from station or selling them to put money in his pocket i said i would report him to his supervisor this company has chain of stations in country and for every region there is the someone who supervises the specific region same as we workers answer to gas station manager he has to answer to his region supervisor but they explained this all when they introduced us and told us about company the other guy's answer to this question was i would blackmail the manager that if he doesn't include me in it i would report him i'll finish with the fact that i was the one who got the job department is a very male dominated one and i am the only woman i am also the second stage of any interview to join us it goes team leader talks to them then i do then grand boss does dude past the sections of the interview conducted by men with flying colors spent the entire section led by me staring at my chest i was wearing a freaking turtleneck he was newly graduated so we gave him some feedback about appropriate interview conduct and hired a different candidate was going well until she suddenly says i don't know why people think interviews are so hard like all you have to do is be normal for 10 minutes just don't talk about your genital herpes or whatever other std you have this was an interview for a residency position as a doctor not sure where she ended up but not with us not sure where she ended up scrubs about 20 years ago i was working at a vocational school new instructors were required to give a sample lecture as part of the interview process and the other instructors would be the audience we would let them talk for a bit then start interrupting with questions easy ones at first then getting harder until we decided they'd had enough usually they were judged not by their answers but by how they handled the question one day we had a guy in who chose to lecture on computer hardware he started off okay until the question started when my buddy reached into a box pulled out a hard disk and said what's this and the dude couldn't answer the interview ended soon after in person interview for a copywriting position at a tech company went great until they asked me how much money i wanted i'd never been in a position to negotiate before and was still fairly new to the industry i had zero idea what my market value was and they wouldn't give me a ballpark i tried to play it off and say that i was more interested in the opportunity than the money but they insisted that they needed a figure to work with and that they wanted to pay me fairly i said some number that was in retrospect way way too low and the wtf look on their faces just said it all i could tell they weren't going to call me back after that it would be like a software engineer sitting down and telling you that an hour sounds about right you'd think something was seriously wrong with him or his work such a sleazy question honestly the interviewer has all the power and already know how much they want to pay for the role i don't understand why everyone can't just drop the pretense he complained about how there are too many posters at his current job in retail i asked him to repeat himself and he laughed and said well you know what they're like you should have seen the look on when i told him i was gay and i didn't think he would be a good fit for the company it's been 10 years but it's so depressing to think people think exposing their prejudice at an interview will help them on the positive side at least he showed his true self before he was hired dodge a bullet he started talking about anger management issues we try to support mental health as much as possible so this isn't an automatic no we asked him how he copes with this he said he shuts down becomes withdrawn and may be rude to colleagues and customers yeah that's a no from me oh you know punching mainly basically they said all the right crap but were taking a while to answer each question then i noticed them texting someone turns out they were asking a friend for all the answers immediately turned him down but some seriously stealth texting obligatory not me but a friend she was interviewing to work at an animal shelter and was told at the end of the interview she basically had the job when she went back to her car there were cops around it and all the employees were out in the parking lot panicking she had left her dog locked in the car in a hot day she never heard back from that place was interviewing someone to replace me in a finance position things were going well until i gave her a scenario and asked her how she'd turn that profitable to which she replied i think if we don't reach that stage we will be fine this soon-to-be college grad had passed two phone screens and was in the office going through our panel interviews for a software position one of my engineers who was scheduled to interview him next came to my office the engineer had decided to take a deep dive through the candidates jiffibropos a software engineer's public portfolio for you non-techies as the basis for questions the candidate was a poc but some of his personal projects were littered with incredibly derogatory and inflammatory language like multiple variables were variations of the hard rn word as well as lgbt slurs i stopped the interview right there walked him out and sincerely encouraged him to clean up his public ripos before applying to any other companies it sucked too because we all liked him and he was technically capable and it seemed like it was just a dumb college kid mistake on personal projects he thought no one would ever look at however we can't risk anything like that happening in any of our code and you never know what underlying issues could have caused those inclusions that the candidate needs help for hopefully it was a wake-up call for him hiring for a writer position in legal marketing looking at law students who usually jump at the opportunity because it's remote pays decently well for a student and can be done on their own schedule one candidate had some pretty decent experience in the field we're looking at not a bad personality it seemed took a funny question and stride then when asked about writing experience stated i'm not really a strong writer i don't really like it but for a writer position doesn't like writing isn't good at writing she seemed nice then she said one of my references is going to say really nice things about me you'll see she's my best friend my high school guidance therapist she was 24 then she claimed she'd need a month off for her honeymoon he hadn't props yet but she's gone over his house on the first date so it's getting serious fast we respectfully did not hire her guy interviewed for a job he was under qualified for i was looking for a guy with an electronics degree to repair electrical based machines he worked for apple repairing phones and ipads he had no formal electronics or mechanical training and was a relatively young guy he explained why he wanted to move to another job and what he hoped to achieve and where he wanted to go this was all things i wanted to hear and he was certainly the standout candidate i really thought he was in for a shot but thought it would take a year or two to train him up to the level where he would be an asset for us next question was what kind of money would he be looking for he asked for far in excess of what we had even advertised for i explained this to him and he said he wouldn't be willing to take a pay cut even though in his own words he had reached his salary cap with his current employer under normal circumstances i would call someone back in for another interview but in this case i knew this guy completely overvalued himself and was very short-sighted in his career there was this one guy i liked but my boss didn't i would have hired him though he said he was lazy probably more lazy than anyone they ever met but he was also driven and a bit of an expert in his area this means in his words that he will always find a way to do a task faster and with less effort but with better results was interviewing a guy for an i.t job at a healthcare related company a few years ago things were going great until the end of the interview when he informed us that something was going to come up on his background check so he was just going to come clean about it now he proceeded to tell us how he was fired and prosecuted for stealing intellectual property and company confidential data needless to say we did not end up hiring him definitely not saying you should have hired him but it sounds like he did the right thing by bringing it up at five minutes into the interview told me my company was his plan b don't know why i finished the interview because he was already planned hack number my boss asked me to come and interview a potential new java developer to see if he'd fit the team and to see how much he knows i didn't have time to prepare a coding or co-checking test but i thought i'd throw him some easy questions see what he knows my first question was simply so what is the difference between a list and a set i was expecting something along the lines of mentioning multiple equal values being allowed versus not fixed order just general stuff what i had not expected was a 35 year old man being brought to the edge of tears was interviewing a woman for a position at my gourmet burger takeaway a few years back she seemed great had some experience lived close by was flexible with ours etc then towards the end she told us a story about her last job apparently she and her colleagues used to call the manager hitler behind her back and flat out ignore any instructions they were given glad she mentioned it to be honest application was really good phone interview was going well open availability and eager to start we used to ask can you pass a drug test and a background check it's not a question that we ask anymore but the applicant responded with due to some questionable life choices over the weekend i won't be able to pass either for the foreseeable future the phone interview happened on a wednesday i like this they are pretty open about it but if you're smoking something like weed that can stay in your system for longer than the weekend the interviewee responded honestly which a lot of people possibly wouldn't happened about a year ago i was 21 trying to grow a telemarketing team for a tech startup interviewing most people around my age maybe a couple of years older but then i interview a man who was over double my age and the whole interview was him trying to ask me questions about my role my experience my age i understand too was probably a shock to him to be interviewed but someone so young but it was even more off-putting to me he didn't really fit with the vision of our team but we did have another position we looked to put him in but that position was filled also was interviewing a lady mid-20ish for a game advisor position at the messtop towards the end of the interview just to get a feel for her knowledge i asked what is your favorite game console she looked me dead in the face and said oh i don't play video games when i asked why not she started telling me how it was a sin and that she wanted to spread the word and where best to do it than in a house of sin needless to say i hired her on the spot i interview applicants for med school was having a great conversation about his experiences and where he sees himself going for the last five minutes i keep it light and allow them to ask about the school this kid goes yeah so my app cycle wasn't going that well so i called my doctor friend on admissions and got this interview also i don't like michigan or michiganders school was in michigan and i far and as i know he was not accepted from some of the comments i've learned don't make jokes you can try make something funny that has already happened but don't go stand up comedy mode you'll probably flop if you have a good report a light joke or two can go a long way but don't make any dirty offensive jokes obviously a couple of humorous quips while still giving thoughtful answers to the questions can show a little personality but you should read the person giving the questions a little bit before diving into your stand-up routine can tell a story of my mum who in her career did some interviews everything went well until the interviewed person repeatedly said the word internship wrong while applying for an internship at first she thought that the person just did a mistake but then she began to realize that he generally didn't know english isn't my first language and i don't know how you could say internship wrong but in my language it's practicum and the person said praxis those words don't really sound the same but come from the same family i've confirmed the location of praxis but i cannot confirm the existence of praxis i had a head cold and scheduled about six interviews throughout the day first five interviews went great but my medication was wearing off and five interviews is a lot in one day i'm sitting outside the building for my last interview pep talking myself it's the last one you freaking got this i walk into the building and it's nice and cool perfect the receptionist brings me to a small dark room to have me fill out some paperwork and states the interview will begin shortly okay no problem cold air i can breathe and i am not stuffy after about five minutes the receptionist comes back into the dark room and says follow me fear ready for you i feel super uneasy the interview isn't in there nope she bring me to this super bright hot room with six interviewers ready for me i'm doing well for about two minutes until one of the interviewer says a joke to lighten the mood i chuckled and a big butt cartoon sized snot bubble inflates and then pops all over my face green gooey mess on a great portion of my face i pause for a moment lime it didn't happen and continue to speak about my qualifications and to make it worse one of them asks me if i would like a tissue i finished the interview super awkwardly and never got a call back and to top it off my family called me bubs for about a year i'm sorry this is the best one i've seen yet was saturn on an interview for training my boss a new mother told the guy to tell her a joke she told her a dead baby joke i like to think i'm a funny guy but if someone just said tell me a joke i'd be screwed lol oh i have a real gem from the other side of that i was just out of school having gotten a certificate as a legal secretary and applied for jobs at different law firms note i sent my resume and was honest about my lack of experience there and in my application one law firm didn't have much info in their wanted ad but they invited me to a job interview and i spent ages preparing practicing the kinds of questions i might get picking out an outfit showing up and waiting outside for 40 minutes for fear of being late etc the dude interviewing me walked me to an office going through the whole of their building spent two minutes questioning me about my experience that i did not have and then said i don't want a junior and left so i sat in that room feeling like an idiot wondering if he was coming back walking back out trying to find the way out alone was the worst walk of shame in my life i could feel every worker there staring at me like there goes that girl who applied here without experience i was so humiliated i didn't even blame the guy until days later when i remembered that he should read the applications before asking someone to come for an interview [ __ ] i hope he develops tastebuds in his butt friend of mine who's a manager at a bank interviewed a guy for bank teller position apparently he did great until the very end when guy asked if he's allowed to take money home friend didn't understand the question you have questions about your starting salary guy replies no like are we allowed to take a couple of dollars home now and then he was basically asking if he could steal from the bank needless to say guy didn't get hired employers of reddit what is one thing someone has said or done in an interview that made you want to hire them on the spot i never hire on the spot as i always give some thought to the decision even when i'm very positive about someone however i usually give screening tests to candidates i had one young inexperienced candidate that did not even pass the first screening question bit afterwards asked me to show him the correct answer and said something along the lines of thanks for showing me that i have a lot to learn i asked if he wanted some pointers and ended up lending him a book on the subject a few days later i decided that that's the attitude i'd like to hire and gave him the green light did not regret comma thanks for showing me that i have a lot to learn filing that one away i once applied for a job at a walton books i asked for an application and the manager asked me if i knew the alphabet i laughed at the question but after she kept staring at me i rattled it off and she hired me on the spot turns out the last couple of hires were basically illiterate having been a manager at walden books i can tell you that this was a major issue i can't tell you the number of times i had to go rashelf books because someone didn't know their alphabet i caught one employee shelving the books by color and when i questioned her about it i was told that it looks prettier and besides nobody really uses the alphabet anymore one of my hiring questions is tell me about a time you made a mistake doing a job tell me what happened and what you learned from it one girl said well this story is kind of gross and might not be what you want but it's what comes to mind right away then she told me about a time during her medical internship at a local hospital where she tried to prove herself to a skeptical doctor by taking a large dead body down to the morgue by herself even though she had never gone down before and was supposed to take someone else with her she was a tiny girl bit in good shape and apparently when she got down there she was supposed to move the body from the gunny to her slab which is why she was supposed to go down with another person she tried to move it on her own but failed to lock the wheels on the gurney first and ended up on the floor pinned under a large dead body for over 15 minutes before anyone found her she said that from that she learned to follow procedures and to not be too cocky to ask for help when she needed it i didn't see how i could not hire her after that story because it was so genuine and atypical from the usual answers i heard for that question they're like children big dead children not an employer i was eating at a denny's with a friend one morning after some heavy drinking while waiting for our food to come out a guy had come in and asked the girl at the host stand if they were hiring she handed him an application and he sat down at the table beside us to fill it out he then asked to speak with the manager the manager came out and spoke with him briefly and said they would contact him in the near future if they had any openings he thanks the manager for his time and casually walks over and grabs a broom that was left propped on the wall and start sweeping without a word the manager turns around and asks him what he's doing and the guy responds like a badass with i've got nowhere to be and i really need a job manager grabs him an apron and hires him on the spot i was freaking impressed that takes guts real guts i was interviewing people for a seasonal outside job and i was doing the interviewing inside the marketing depth in an available office this young kid with long hair a spiked dog collar upside down crosses for earrings and a trench coat was my next interview and as we were walking to the office i was using i noticed several marketing staff whispering and staring with shocked expressions at this kid he walked with confidence and waited for me to sit down before he did he was very polite and made excellent eye contact and gave me the best interview of the day when i explained that since this was a position dealing with the public and children and told him the earrings and dog collar would have to go should he be hired without hesitation he removed them and gave me this charming grin and i hired him on the spot and told him he was the most genuine person i had interviewed so far he turned out to be one of my best employees and was hired full time and stayed with me for five years we had a foreign guy apply with the name mouseshake got him in for an interview and here's what follows employer how exactly is malshek pronounced maoshek i tell you that you have any mics that work for you employer number mouseshake then i be first mike hired on the spot and easily one of the best employees we ever had he should have said it's moose egg with a sean connery accent here's one that sort of blew me away because it's so simple post most of the interview when we've turned to do you have any questions for us the guy said really matter of fact and not at all obsequiously well i'd like to know if there's anything that we've talked about that has left you with doubts about me so i can be sure you've got the information you need when you're considering my fit it was so simple but so freaking honest and effective because it was phrased as i want to help you be thorough but also quite self-serving because it got out in front of those doubts we were immediately amazed that no one asks this i'm never going to not ask it again not that i'm looking in case my boss has a line to the nsa row this is what this thread is for i was hiring for a graphic design position and had a number of resumes on my desk one guy had actually reached out to me personally through our website and i just told him to email his resume to our job inbox we had just moved to a new office and i posted a photo one morning to our facebook page showing the new view off to our fans that afternoon he showed up at our office in a suit and tire asked for the job killed the interview and got it he figured out the general area we were in from the photo called the various office buildings to ask ahead found us and just showed up two years later he's still there and doing an absolutely fantastic job on a technical interview for computer stuff me if you come across a problem you've never seen before how to approach it soon to be new employee i'd google it this is the best answer most people go crying to vendors or support contracts before doing a simple google search and i find that offensive on the way to the conference room for the interview interviewee instinctively picked up a gum wrapper off the floor and threw it in the nearest trash can i just caught this peripherally and he made no effort to show off his insignificant good act honestly i have never hired a single person on an impulse or based on something clever they said did in an interview it's about qualifications and overall leaving a good impression trash boy did get hired and his simple act was really representative of him being pleasant and thoughtful he also had several years experience in field i've been hiring for years i do pick up on little things sometimes a gum rapper can distinguish one candidate from the others unfortunately his good deal earned him the nickname trash boy we were hiring for a specific position and had arranged a number of interviews for it from pre-screened applicants as we had to play with real people's real schedules we ended up with the strongest candidate uc berkeley phd going first he did very well in the interview and it was kind of a given that we'd hire him this left us in an awkward spot with one very interesting interview of someone completely without a degree however there were budget restrictions so this was a long shot meanwhile inside the company we had a fairly complex technical problem going on instead of just having a high by interview with this other guy we threw our complex problem at him about 24 h before the interview the sucker sold before the interview and did it really quite brilliantly at that point i was willing to go to the ropes to get him my boss asked me to logically deduce the number of teachers in our country i work with statistics so that was a viable question i got very close to the actual number half a year later he told me that this was the kicker to hire me when i walked into the shop and went up to the counter to ask for the boss i had an interview with this girl started laughing at me i asked why and she said you just walked in here like you owned the place it became a running joke between her and the real owner manager i've interviewed a lot of people who have been downsized or lost their jobs too offshoring and a lot of them rip apart their old employer in the interview some like to rip on their old manager the ones who keep it classy about their past employers get my attention it's a forecast of how well they deal with change and look for opportunities instead of complaining you'd be surprised how few people do this when i worked at kfc i interviewed a guy that had just been fired from mcdonald's he told me how he freaked up said he had just had a kid and was kicked out of his house but the fact that he was completely honest with me was impressive he promised he would not make the same mistake working for me i took a chance on him and he wound up being one of the best employees i ever had i had the same experience fresh out of jail i laid it out on the line told her i screwed up she appreciated my honesty and hired me on the spot best interview i've ever had actually not an employer but i was on the other side of this a few years back while interviewing for a job in retail i was asked why they should hire me and i replied i will work all shift long i will show up on time and if i'm late or can't make it for some reason i'll call you ahead of time with a real reason holy crap i can't tell you the look of relief on this manager's face when i said that was working a landscape job guy shows up and starts painting fences got to talking at break time later i asked for his business card card had his name phone in the words i will show up that's it he explained that's all he needs to do to have plenty of business show up as promised not an employer but i still think it fits last week i was going through my final interview with a company and had a series of interviews scheduled with a few people my second to last interview was with an hour person afterwards she directed me back to the lobby thinking i was her final interview once i was in the lobby i figured out that she made a mistake but i could not go back by myself due to security so i took out the business cards i had received so far and started calling people politely letting them know that i had accidentally found my way to the lobby and asked if they could help me get to my final interview i guess they did that on purpose my last interview was a room full of all the people i had just talked to previously i guess they wanted to see how i reacted under a situation where i needed to hunt people down to get the job done or something and they were impressed with my initiative they said most people just flat out leave and hope for the best and the ones who don't end up taking 15-20 minutes to call i got an offer on the spot since i immediately called people to get the job done it felt good this is how i received one job i was applying for a job managing backups on a large-scale computer system i'd never used before i was asked how i would handle a situation where i discovered that the backups could not finish one night he wanted my approach knowing i could not answer technically i answered i'd attempt to do what was necessary to minimize the impact on customer service the next morning oh this was the 90s and you could still sometimes get jobs on systems you'd never worked on before and they'd give you training now they want years of experience on everything recently lost an offer because i only had experience on 17 of the 18 systems they desired someone else had all 18. i asked her how she would go about a specific task she said i don't know how but i'm confident i could google it and learn quickly amazing how many people don't do that my buddy was asked that in a job interview google was his answer they were not impressed he did not get the job it was a job working for the state maybe bing should have been his answer i showed up to an interview for a construction engineering position with a large general contractor in construction boots and generally dirty surrounded by guys with suits i think they thought i was some sort of idiot interviewer took a look at me and thought i wasn't taking the interview seriously i see it took you six years to get your degree in mechanical engineering why is that i replied because sir i worked my masonry job all of the way through college what do you know about our company i replied well you're currently running the job over there at the nursing home site interviewer said how do you know that i replied i'm working there and i'm currently on my lunch break hired the very next day i graduated right at the time of the dot-com bubble burst nothing will flood the field with engineers like that i currently work with a guy who lost six million dollars because of it i also notice people who are well beyond retirement age and it must be very difficult for a new graduate to be in the process i feel really bad for most of you having to endure this process i was just in the right place at the right time with the right experience to land the job that i wanted hiring for a programmer position and i decide to just google his name turns out he also owns a darth vader outfit and puts it on to go visit sick kids in the hospital i hired him so fast it would make your head spin that is karma a guy designed and built his own tiny handmade working usb device circuit boards about the size of a us dime and soldered the parts onto it he showed me the boards and explained how he created them using a clothes iron and he was a software guy i had an interview where the guy accidentally told me it was in baltimore i live in philadelphia i went down there showed up at the corporate office and found out he was in a satellite office only about a mile from my apartment i rushed back up there just in time for the interview he hired me for my effort and to pay me back for gas you showed up to your baltimore interview really really early it seems boss can you pass a drug test me yeah boss well we don't have anyone else here named for talknet so i guess you're hired that's how a five-year span at a grocery store started for me i hired someone for giving me a dirty look in an interview allow me to preface this by saying i really despise the interview process i find that a person's resume generally tells me everything i need to know and for me the interview is merely a formality to ensure the applicant doesn't have any personality or hygiene issues that said i was hiring a desktop tech i had a really stupid question that went something like if i give you this this and this piece of information would you be able to connect a pc to our domain the correct answer was yes three applicants stammered and stuttered and said they figured they could but might need a little practice the fourth applicant looked at me like i was insane but answered in the affirmative with no hesitation i hired her on the spot the point of the interview is to ensure they actually know the stuff they have on their resume of course i work in programming where a good half of the resumes i get are a collection of skills thrown together by a recruiter when i applied for an internship at a local production house i had to wait in the lobby area for a short time i picked up a magazine and started reading when it came interview time i was asked about a subject i had literally just read about for the first time in the magazine i was reading in the lobby my interviewer was impressed that i knew so much about the topic and asked how i knew all of that i smiled and told the truth my interviewer started laughing her head off i got the internship and turned it into a job for two years i was interviewing a larger trashy looking lady i asked a question what's your proudest achievement she did up a bit and responded when my daughter told me that even though i'm still overweight she was just happy that i wasn't on crack anymore honesty is the best policy folks my dad had a job interview he was the first person to be interviewed out of 400 it was only a maintenance man job at condo but it was in a fancy city las soulless my dad wore a suit and tie the first comment the interviewer made was wow overdressed and even though my dad didn't expect praise for dressing nice he didn't expect a comment like that either after the interview the guy was like okay i'll call you back by thursday yet the next day my dad got a phone call saying you know what i'm not interviewing all these other people i interviewed three others and they didn't make a good impression like you did i'm not gonna interview anyone else you got the job what was amazing is that i was on the phone with my dad when he said he was getting a call on the other line not being savvy with phones he tried to switch the call when he accidentally made it a three-way call i heard everything his now boss said about getting the job i was so happy for my dad it was actually a four-way call the nsa is always listening my ex-husband had been looking for a job for about three months when he walked into a serve pro he asked if they were hiring was told no at which point he yells why isn't anyone hiring i just want to freaking work for the owner stuck his head out of one of the offices and said you're hired he worked there for three years my first spur of the moment job application was on a napkin and one of my qualities i listed was not fundamentally [ __ ] five years later i was doing a working interview in the same field and when i asked how i was doing my future chef told me well at least you're not fundamentally [ __ ] apologies for the ableist language that's just how i got my career started reminds me of my first spur of the moment application it was in a bar i was drunk very drunk the interviewers were not i got the job guy showed up at the wrong location for his interview but they called and said he was dressed up and that they were sending him our way the applicant then called approximately 30 minutes before his interview to cancel because he wasn't able to locate our office it was the kid's first job which we knew through his application and he was still responsible enough to make the call to us rather than just not showing up his interview went decent given that he was a nervous wreck and he's currently one of the best employees we have demonstrating responsibility goes a long way a few tricks that i've been told led me to getting jobs i had interviewed for one while waiting to be called in read a book in the waiting room rather than play with your phone or pick up a magazine that they provide two be confident you wouldn't have been granted an interview if you weren't actually being considered for the job so be confident that you have the skills required three ask questions your resume will already give the impression that you are perfectly qualified asking questions will show that you are engaged and interested in the position and that you want a better understanding as to whether or not the position is the right fit for you four some people have difficulty talking about what they are good at instead talk about some of the projects you've worked on your eyes will light up and you will speak with passion it shows five be friendly polite courteous to everyone smile six some of my favorite questions for low to mid-level jobs from your experience what makes the difference between a good employee and an amazing employee this project you are working on sounds really interesting where can i read more on this subject on my own not me but my friend was wanting to hire a secretary for his office and during an interview the phone rang so he told her why don't you take that one so we can see your phone skills she agreed and answered the phone the person on the other end was asking about the job opening and the girl straight out told her no i am sorry but i have already filled that occupancy my friend was flabbergasted and hired her right there on the spot she is still his secretary and she is doing awesome five years later and now they are living happily in a dominant submissive relationship in a quaint house in the suburbs i got a lot of work from an employment agency in the late 90s i am a junior college dropout was working as a house painter and a massage therapist at the time it was during the rainy season when work was lean that i visited the local employment agency to pick up our jobs until work picked up i was doing some labora work for them when i needed to drop by the office for some reason i showed up to the office located in a strip mall i noticed that someone had hit the front door with a raw egg probably the night before as it had congealed on the glass i had cleaning materials in my truck so i offered to clean the dried on egg off of the windows and went ahead and did it anyway the women who manage the agency from area vp to office manager to the office supervisor the person who actually decides who to call were all in the office at the time my assignments quickly changed from digging ditches and cleaning out demos to working for a bank eventually i was offered a job in the office itself and worked for that company for five years in three different cities in two different states now i wouldn't recommend egging the offices where you are applying it the night before but it wouldn't hurt to carry some paper towels and windex in your car what was the weirdest most inappropriate or most unexpected thing you were asked during a job interview i was asked over the span of about five questions if i would let employees steal what would you do if you saw a customer walk out the door with product i would tell the manager and not confront them the correct answer for almost all retail companies but not this one apparently and what if it was your store many retailers and you are the manager i would try to stop them or call the cops what if it was an employee trying to steal something really cheap like a one dollar water bottle i wouldn't let them steal so i'd tell a manager what if they have been having family troubles and their checks haven't come and so they have no money but need that water i would offer to pay for them so they don't feel like they have to steal what if you left your wallet at home that day what am i even supposed to say to that i had a guy end my interview by asking me what my favorite abba song was i was so caught off guard and honestly kind of creeped out because i couldn't figure out how he knew that i loved abba i found out later that when he spoke to my references he asked them to tell him something about me that wasn't on my resume and my old boss told him that i was a huge abba fan i kind of like this it shows the employer is actually interested in you instead of a name from a pile of cvs what are the chances of you leaving your spouse if we relocate you you mean for a period of time until we figure out our living situation no i mean would you divorce him if you had to move to say europe for the job row also this was a local advertising agency they didn't even have that many national clients but also the interview with them continuously called and messaged me for days after i declined their offer so i don't know first question of an interview wait aren't you the guy who owes me that thousand dollars realized after three of the longest seconds in my life that he was joking but boy that caught me off guard joke or bribe wink wink i had an adversarial interview once passed the skills interview and was sent on to the guy who would be my manager if i got the job he made a big show of throwing my resume in the trash and told me the next best use would be to wipe his butt with it since he went to yale and i didn't and why did i think i deserved the job i didn't say anything just got up and walked out this was at aig remember them lol lol what to dong you played it right i was interviewing for a hiring manager position at a temp agency in toledo ohio the interviewer asked me how comfortable would i be if business client only wanted to hire certain types of employees i probed for more information after several probing questions it was apparent that some of the businesses who hired this agency to find talent only wanted people from certain zip codes and wanted to emit certain zip codes altogether i did not get the job because i stated that i would find and deliver the most qualified candidate regardless of where they lived no biggie i am in a much better place now would i be okay with going shirtless small private casino company that mostly did charity fake money events with prizes like champagne and chocolates corporate gigs etc i was hired as a blackjack croupier and that's the job i went for advertised as above corporate event and charity events dealing blackjack must be good with people if you knew me that would make your gut bust the woman interviewing me gave me the job then asked would i be willing to wear just collars and cuffs like a male stripper turns out they also did stag and hen knights and would ask new employees if they'd like to be considered for those shifts but it requires the women to wear bikinis and men to wear only collars and cuffs no shirt but wearing dress pants they paid twice the rate for it was not expecting that question i can be honest does lie detector during the hiring process count i was asked if i'd ever had sex with animals that question certainly caught me off guard i was a private nanny i have been asked many questions that wouldn't be considered appropriate in any other job interview i've been asked how often i shower whether i have ever been to a therapist psychiatrist if i am promiscuous if i have ever had an affair with an employer how much i typically eat in a day do i have a partner what religion i am whether i was gay or straight if i had ever been bribed or had anyone ever attempt to bribe me whether i had ever taken nude pictures etc not all in the same interview if i have ever had an affair with an employer that's just the dad trying to figure out his chances lovers an adult toy accessories shop in the u.s hands you an elephant sized wiggly butt dildo and asks you to describe it you giggle you lose i lost this was quite a while ago and i was interviewing for a janitorial position at a private middle school the interview was going well the interviewer was asking me why i wanted to work there what my previous job experience was etc the bog standard interview questions out of absolutely nowhere he asks you're not attracted to underage girls are you i was taken aback for a moment and just sort of stared at him waiting for clarification i think it only occurred to him after having said it how weird the question was and he quickly started to give some context turns out the previous janitor had attempted some sexual advances on some underage students i was just there to sweep the flaws for some cash not commit a felony in context makes sense out of context sketchy as heck which teacher did you hate the most and why i answered that i had disagreed with a teacher over a book i didn't like it and it was her favorite and she knocked points off all my future tests interviewer said it was unprofessional to not like a teacher and i clearly had no interview experience so yeah didn't get that internship you dodged a bullet imagine having to work with that [ __ ] i once had a cold on the day of a phone interview at a speech therapist office i started the call by apologizing that i was losing my voice and explained i had a cold the interviewer a speech therapist asked me twice what was wrong with my voice the first time she asked i repeated that i had a cold and asked if that was relevant to the interview it was not she assured me the second time she asked i told her thanks but i wasn't interested anymore seems like the kind of thing a speech therapist should be able to remember what kind of p do you like i was in the process of getting a government job that required a high security clearance i was being interviewed by an agent most of the questions were pretty basic but this one caught me out of left field they didn't ask me that they asked me if i was a sexual deviant i made her explain what she thought a sexual deviant was one interview i was asked two weird questions for an interviewer's least one favorite superhero and why two do you believe in aliens why or why not thirty second elevator pitch for an i.t security position if your employer asked you to do something illegal would you do it now before anyone hollers that this isn't inappropriate i found out later that the job had been vacated by a friend of mine who they fired after he refused to do something illegal for them in my experience a lot of illegal things are asked of i.t can you make your breasts smaller they might be a distraction for some of our patients here this was at a hospital and i wasn't wearing anything provocative i just have big boobs i didn't get the job they told me it was because i was too inexperienced they asked me if i could stop my dialysis treatment so i can be more available yeah karen let me just die for less at 15 an hour as a man being asked about a spouse do you have a wife number well gay marriage is legal in this state i assume you don't have a husband number when you can't tell if they're being extra pc or extra ntpc a while back i got out of the navy that old saying is true swear like a sailor i applied for a program called helmets to hard hats that finds jobs and skilled labor trades for veterans my father is good friends with a guy who is in charge of the local branch of an elevator company so i applied to the international union of elevator constructors and was granted an interview the union interviews as i am told usually consist of several prominent members of the union i'm this case it included my father's friend so i show up to the interview and sit down with five high-ranking union members my name is richard my dad's friend says so richard what do you like to go by rick ricky richard dong before i could stop myself i sarcastically replied it's dong actually i pretended like everything was normal and the interview continued after an awkward pause i did get the job and was admitted as an apprentice everyone still calls me dong tldr guy asked me richard if i go by dong i sarcastically replied dong and now everyone calls me dong are you pregnant and after i said no are you planning to get pregnant had an interviewer who unexpectedly asked me what my spirit animal was at the end of the interview i didn't know what to say but the first thing that popped out of my head was a bear because the thought of hibernating and being lazy on cold season sounds like something i do it's the most stupidest reply i could give he ended up being one of the best if not the nicest and funniest boss i ever had actually that's a good question listen i have nothing against hiring a chick for the job but i can't afford to have you go off on maternity leave so are you planning on getting knocked up in the near future very first job i interviewed for was a movie theater while i was still in high school manager are you available sunday morning me yes i have open availability manager so you don't attend church sunday morning me no i'm free manager oh so you're gonna burn in heck me oh sorry huh manager nothing it's fine at my last job a bank we were open sundays a regular and his friend came in the friend asked me if i went to church that morning i said no then he asked my older coworker who also told him no the guy said that they needed to open later to give us time to go to church we were open from 12 4 when we opened had nothing to do with whether or not i was going to church i was a bit nervous at my first job interview for a full-time job when i was 18 i applied as a wedding dress salesperson i had a part-time job at a rival bridal store years earlier and i think the owners sensed that i was nervous because one asked me if i had a boyfriend and if working on the weekends would give me less time with him but before i could answer the second owner asked and is he a good kisser all i could muster is oh he's alright and spent the rest of the interview discussing whether or not they can plan a wedding between me and the good kisser anyways i got the job worked there for five years and married the good kisser does profanity and yelling bother you that should have been an instant exercised red flag the interview was in dallas after all but this was the only job interview i had coming out of college and with student loan payments looming i needed a goddamn job so i still took this one never could have imagined what awaited me i swear one of the owners of the company the one i worked with most was unmedicated bipolar or something at one minute he would be handing you 100 bills for just being there and the next he'd be ready in the face throwing a kindergarten style temper tantrum screaming and swearing at you it was completely unpredictable one day i was working with a new employee and we were walking across a warehouse with some tools to move some equipment he comes up to us and asks us what we're doing i say we're getting ready to move that piece of equipment over there he asks what we're doing right now and i repeat myself he starts screaming something about not hiring us to frick off wasting time and stomps off with a couple of his managers following him who he promptly screams at to get away from him when i gave my two weeks notice a few months later that same dude comes and talks to me and literally tells me that when they first hired me they thought i was stupid but since they put me on that project renovating that warehouse into a manufacturing facility i'd been killing it he proceeded to offer me a managerial position in that building when it was up and running which would include a 60 raise i'd have been making 60 k only a year out of college which for my degree is pretty good still quit because i'd seen the crap other managers had to deal with and it was way worse than what i dealt with they were the lair between me and the company ownership so they were dealing with the dude even more than me and i was just done with that i also just didn't like where i was living i'm not a city person and the more i saw of dfw the more i hated living there and summers were absolutely miserable that turned into a much longer post than i was expecting it to i had a boss like this 50 stroke 50 on her being lovely to me or flying off the handle over nothing quit took a different job for the same money but less experience or prestige that boss got me my career track job 3 years later 10 stroke 10 would quit the crazy again i was once asked about my religious upbringing in a job i'm a teacher the new principal was apparently a heavy born again christian type my friends who had recommended me for the position had not had similar questions with the previous principle and were completely shocked i was asked this question i am not religious and did not get the job i was raised in the church of labor laws where we listened to sermons on things like illegal job interview questions i worked admin for a while just out of high school i was interviewing for this answering service that was mostly women in their 40s through their 60s a pretty small operation no man at all other than the owner they answered for the electric company at night like when the power went out a lot of doctors after hours and things like that and glass companies you get the idea well everything was going great until they told me that there was a guy renting the office upstairs that they answered for who owned an adult entertainment line and was i comfortable transferring his calls i was 18 and rather naive stupid and had no idea what they meant so i say sure why wouldn't i so then they start asking me if i mind listing my measurements on the phone for them and to run through a practice call with them i'm lightweight what so they do a pretend call and are breathing heavy and start saying the rather seedy stuff and i'm trying not to laugh because now i'm like wait what is this job am i actually interviewing for something else but this woman interviewing me was like 350 pounds 55 years old and faking a man's voice as she pretended on the phone she wanted to ram her rod into my well you get the idea and i'm like so this pays minimum wage m61 late 70s state college i was looking for a part-time gig while going through school dude at a small engineering firm called me in response to my resume and arranged a 7 p.m interview since i had class till 6. first 20 minutes were fine and fairly standard questions he then pulls out a few inkblot type sheets of paper and asks what do you see nothing struck me so he folded the paper in half and held it up to the light the images blended to became a silhouette of a guy on all fours getting boned in the backside by another guy i know the heck out of there and surprisingly did not get hired sadly amusing now as i was far more innocent and didn't appreciate the sketchiness of that situation i hope the guy wasn't ever successful in conning naive undergrads to work their after hours with him because i mentioned i was getting married soon she asked if i planned to have kids because it would interfere with a job it was for hotel housekeeping she also showed up an hour late to the interview and told me i had been late scheduled two interviews for the same time and suggested i was lying about a previous boss having cancer i got a call back and never responded red flags all over the place not me but my co-worker and i worked in mental health he was asked at an interview how he felt about relationships with clients this was for an addictions clinic but he gave the response that he wouldn't consider it and that it would be unethical apparently their response was that it's fine that they had done so before and it felt like they were trying to convince him that it was something he should do too he didn't accept the job for myself it would probably be do you know who tracy chapman is me yes do you watch glee me no you're hired and if you could have a superpower what would it be i'm convinced most interviewers have no idea what they're doing and just add in random crap my first job was at a big medical center where i had worked part-time in a related department i was being hired to work for gary and was being interviewed by gary and his boss niels as well as several other people i was invited to a staff meeting just before the interview started no one introduced me to anyone and must have figured i knew everyone and so i went through a day talking to all these people not sure who was who significantly i mixed up gary and neil since gary acted like the top man and was very dominating whereas niels said hardly anything somehow i got hired and worked there for many years you have to be fine to work 12 hour shifts with one break of 30 minutes in the middle when i explained that that is literally illegal they replied with but it's the industry standard c get freaked this was an interview from a government funder job agency btw they almost definitely make commissions on finding jobs so they don't care if you have a crap job because then they get two commissions instead of one i was the interviewer and asked the candidate to tell me about a time that they had to have a difficult conversation with someone his answer well my friend's boyfriend was abusing her so i told him that i would kick his butt if he didn't stop he didn't stop so i had to follow through and beat him up it was hard but i had to follow through on my commitment to helping my friend he did not get hired for the job working with children well at least you know he's not a quitter my ninth and final interview at a world renowned investment bank with the big boss i have flown in for the interview which is scheduled for 9 00 am i arrive at 8 45 and i'm left waiting until 9 45 interviewer walks in he says verbatim sorry i'm freaking late the freaking bastards in back kept me up for 15 freaking minutes he throws my cv on the table so hard the front page rips off the staple and flitters across the table he looks me square in the eye so who the frick are you again i was told being thick and a little gothy would provide a lot of variety to the male clients and i would make tons and tips my future boss asked to duel me in mortal kombat i was confused and concerned until he showed me that they had a mortal kombat 2 arcade machine he kicked my butt solidly honestly it seemed a little unfair considering they had a machine in their break room and i hadn't played the dang thing since high school funny it's always the last thing the guy got fired for it's always this oddly phrased question too like can you be on time every day and not be sick all the time can you do the job and not smell like marijuana every day can you do the job and not complain every five seconds not a job interview per se but a first meeting of my now mother-in-law after her asking my name and me replying with it's ryan nice to meet you i was then asked is that your big boy name what to this day almost eight years later i along with my wife have no idea what she meant by that question i was in an interview for a college scholarship not a job i'm black and was being interviewed by a panel of four white interviewers and one black interviewer one of the white interviewers asked me how was growing up with both parents a black interviewer and i immediately locked eyes and he gave me annoying look i don't remember how i answered but i got the scholarship the real reason i asked you in today is because your last name sounded like you're white we've had the worst luck with black guys doing the job right i get that all the time i have a super french name like pierre de fromage and i am very american i always get asked in job interviews what my nationality is i also get a lot of people asking if i really emptied a fromage after we talk on the phone or meet for the first time something about pierre de fromage doesn't make people think thick southern accent i'm a teacher i was asked if i do drugs i don't been clean and sober for a while the interviewer asks me again a little louder do you do drugs number well he says i can't tell you the number of people that have sat there and say they don't do drugs and then fail the drug test i'm 50 years old wtf pee in the cup and passed your salary expectations are completely unrealistic clearly you're overpaid but we'll help you adapt when you join us i hope you're still overpaid i once was on a full day job interview and only after the first hour realized i had interviewed there before i got many puzzles looks but no one said anything i was a young female cabinet maker applying for a summer job in a joinery workshop i answered all of his questions which i could tell confused him so he gave me some side eye and asked her how strong are you a lady in an office behind him shouted out you're not allowed to ask that i got the job turns out it was his wife shouting at him i worked for a pharma supply company of less than 20 people where a high percentage of employees had amusement park experience i was told by hr i was not allowed to ask the engineering interns do you have any theme park experience what was the worst job interview you've had at an interview for a tech startup they asked me if you could be any animal what would you be i answered otter because you know fun active work well with their hands and cute as frick they really debated whether or not to hire me because of that answer because and i quote we only hire predators never pray and they weren't sure how to quantify an otter because none of them had ever paid the least bit of attention to any sort of animal documentary or read biology or you know visited a zoo recently god that job sucked hard otters are pretty brutal they will absolutely frick crap up was invited for an it helper position when i was 17 would help fix computers for people at a shoddy pc fix shop they asked me what's the first thing you check if a customer calls and says their screen doesn't turn on i said well you gotta check if they have it plugged into a socket they laughed and said thank you that will be it then led me to the door and gently pushed me out but that's the right answer i drove two hours for the interview got there and the interviewer was off sick and hadn't told anyone about me coming in got back in my car and drove the two hours home withdrew my name from consideration i drove an hour away to an interview at 8am i waited outside the interviewer's office until 8 30 a.m with no one to tell me where to go or where she was finally another employee walks by and i ask if they know where this woman is to interview me they had no idea where she was why she was late and told me if she wasn't there yet i should leave because she probably forgot okay i decide 45 minutes is a cut off especially standing in a government building looking like a creep waiting 8 45 on the dodge she rushes in flustered with hair and in casual yoga pants with all the resurgence of patience i could muster i greeted her and was met with a passive aggressive scolding of how the interview was at nine not eight i triple checked the email asking me to interview and it was eight we had conducted a phone interview and she followed up with an email request to an in-person interview at eight i was 100 positive on this i hate being late even with this and i did say i'm certain you said 8 a.m mom she wasn't having it conversely she also went on about why she was late so mounting in she went to the gym and forgot her underwear to change into and had to stop at a store and buy new ones after working out before coming to work she told me this in the first five minutes why i didn't ask her regardless she looks at my resume apparently for the first time because she proceeds to tell me how it is unimpressive and my gradual studies should have yielded numerous publications after 1.5 years in my field most don't publish until after three four years even still she kept saying how i had moved up the interview time showed me the workspaces and told me i probably wouldn't be interested in what they do there i politely told her i had driven at her quest to be there and interview for employment i was very interested she waved me off as we left i just tried to hold it together i was very poor and very desperate for a job thanked her and she told me how great it is to work for the government how good the benefits the pension the time off are on and on she said if you can find an opening working for the government you should try to check it out and get hired on hol up i just looked her in the face and said yes mom that was my hope with today's interview thank you and left and sat in my car and balled the whole drive home like the desperate loser i was that was a low one to be sure can't imagine somebody who has obtained a graduate's degree feeling like a loser you have a random redditer who doesn't want to hear you talk about yourself like that this story seems to imply you're incredibly smart with a good and honest heart be proud the interviewer insisted on knowing why i left gradual school now i had left graduate school because my advisor died in a car accident and the whole small department was thrown for a loop and no one seemed to know or care what was going to happen to me or my just started research project the butthole interview wouldn't even accept my advisor died suddenly and dug into the gory details until i was almost in tears even intimating that i must have had feelings for my advisor i couldn't wait to get out of there and in my haste to leave i knocked some solutions off a cart which had no business being in his office btw on my way out i'd never been so humiliated in my life after that i was sure i'd never get a job in science not that bad but i remember taco bell asked me what type animal i would be if i could be anything like wtf do you want me to say i would be a fire and so i could work efficiently with my closest friends 16 year old me said an eagle because they're strong and they can fly five interview rounds with the last interview around being with the ceo all for an entry-level customer service job during the last interview the ceo said you weren't allowed to get sick and you weren't allowed to leave at the end of the day until all of the work had been done so even though the job was 8-4 the ceo said customer service reps often stayed until 6 pm or later she also asked if i would be comfortable secretly reporting to her about what the customer service team is up to i declined the job offer and the company harassed me with emails asking why and what they did wrong really glad i didn't take the job job was for a vibration analysis engineer i knew how to do the job well i knew the pay should be around 95k and they stated 55k in the interview when i tried to discuss my point they said don't worry there's plenty of overtime they also mentioned since they weren't involved with many balancings at the moment i would assist the cleaning crew with a lot of the cleanings i've never been so uninterested in a job in my life comma vibrations analysis comma cleaning crew that's a complicated way to say sex toy tester an agency sent me for an interview and said the starting salary is 33 000 pounds the interview went fairly well until the interviewer said so what sort of salary are you looking for so using the info i had from the agency i said well i think 33 000 pounds is a fair starting point the interviewer practically threw me out he started to shout about wasting his time because i expected to be paid a huge salary and who did i think i was he was paying 20 000 pounds yeah i have one that sticks out i applied to a government branch as a network admin the newspaper ad asked for a bachelor's degree they called me into the interview when i got there the first thing the interviewer said was we wanted someone with a master's degree why did you apply now i wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt maybe they had other interviews that day and got them mixed up crap happens i just informed the interviewer that the ad i applied for requested a bachelor's degree and confirmed the position i was interviewing for no we definitely wanted someone with a master's degree so again why did you apply if you wanted someone with a master's degree why did you bother calling me in for an interview you're very rude and unprofessional yeah you fricked up at every junction thus far but i'm the one who's rude and unprofessional i always have the job posting description printed with notes on it had similar comments a couple times and it's nice to have it right there once had an interviewer say i don't know where you got this oh you posted it i copy pasted i drove an hour to be interviewed for a computer repair tech job at a rental company and three stroke four of the way through the interview they told me i was perfect for the position however they recently removed the position altogether they then asked if i'd be willing to repair furniture instead until the position opened again when he said i'll give you extra hours if you bring me smokes every day then put his hand on my leg and said his wife gives him passes to have fun i also got a speeding ticket on the way to the interview was not my month would not have been surprised if you got a speeding ticket on the way home just not possible to get away from that crap fast enough in a group interview the interviewer crossed a line through my name on the list he had after i told him what i graduated in this was within the first five minutes of a 40-minute meeting the first question they asked was a statistics exam type question took me completely off-guard i half-assed the answer a complete answer would have taken half an hour the next question was about a punnett square analysis i answered honestly and said that the first thing i would do would be to look it up errors in punnett squares are incredibly common and i wouldn't trust anyone who said they could do it off the top of their head i'd look it up even if i'd done one last week they really didn't like that answer they wanted to know where my husband worked and where we lived and they concluded that our six-month rental location was completely incompatible with the commute to their location the whole thing was just super weird it was like they sat down determined to find a reason they should not hire me i was relieved to get out of there as a nanny you get some of the weirdest job interviews it's not a professional hrm it's lisa who married her college boyfriend and works for her rich daddy most were just a little awkward with some inappropriate questions like do you have a boyfriend or do you plan on having kids soon one definitely stands out i go to an interview for a family of and 16 month old mom introduces herself and tells me we'll be interviewing in the nursery i follow her in and there's only one chair the rocking chair she tells me to sit on the ground in a not so nice way it became very clear that it was symbolic for how she treats the help she wanted to literally look down on me i sit down and she gets a toddler out of the crib sits in the rocking chair and immediately starts breastfeeding i've been around a lot of breastfeeding mammals so it wasn't that weird but she took her top off so she was pretty open about it first thing she says i hope you're okay with this because you'll be seeing a lot it no real hello how's it going or a question just get used to seeing my tea then she tells me we'll be conducting the interview when she's done nursing so for the next 15 minutes i'm just staring at her breastfeeding already super weird the interview finally starts and it goes well she's clearly a rich spoiled girl asks a million questions which is cool including a couple weird ones when she's done i go can i ask some questions her response is nope then she tells me she wants to see how i'll do with the kid for the next two hours i follow her around and do what she tells me i change diapers give the kid a bath fold baby clothes put the kid down for a nap even washed priest pump parts and she's critiquing me on everything she sends me on my way eventually i actually thought i did really bad because she was angry a lot whatever because i definitely did not want that job a month later i get a phone call saying i've been hired starting tomorrow i laughed out loud i had apparently been the best candidate by far probably because i just took all her crap she had even ordered me a work uniform which is ridiculous i tell her i'm not accepting and she's livid i got messages for the next six months telling me how horrible i am and that i betrayed her and others telling me i can still take the job showed up looking good in my suit with a ton of knowledge on capital partners it turned out i had researched the wrong company named capital partners i interviewed for a project management position the interviewer describes the job basically it was pure research and data entry of potential clients then cold calling them and documenting the results the job ad mentioned exactly none of this but was an average project management job ad else i wouldn't have applied in the first place i asked what exactly was the project management part and god told that could could not would be down the road maybe two five years in but really only maybe i thank them for the interview opportunity we wrapped things up and i politely left i went in to apply for an administrative assistant position and the guy kept asking me questions about liking kids and are my passports up to date etc i was so confused turns out what he really wanted was a nanny for his two young kids to travel with him and his wife back to india i was soapy he wasted my time i noped right the frick out of there if that's what he wanted that's what he should have put in the job description i'm sure he would have gotten plenty of qualified individuals to apply had a phone interview and the woman kept asking more and more intrusive questions kept hinting i'm a total piece of crap who's totally unfit for the job it was the easiest job description ever and jumping to conclusions about my life that were completely and true for example i found out that being a freelancer who gets a lot of decently paid work each month is apparently living off my parents as she kept going on and on like that for quite a while before i told her to pee off and hung up didn't really need that job too badly but it was in a different country so the travel aspect was the main reason years later i found out it was a stress interview which apparently is a thing frick those people years later i found out it was a stress interview which apparently is a thing frick those people the only thing stress interviews and similar are good for is giving the person being interviewed a chance to recognize a toxic hell hellhole and run seriously interviews are a two-way street pay attention to the red flags you see when you're interviewed i had an interview with emc back in the day i don't remember the specifics other than i was really nervous i had a we are sorry to inform you email waiting for me before i finish the 10 minute trip home at an interview to be a county street sweeper guy asks me if i have a girlfriend proceeds to rant for five minutes how young people don't get married anymore then he asks me what i want to avoid at the job at the time i had no idea how to answer as i'd never been asked that in an interview before but so i ask him to clarify to which he just repeats the question over and over until he gets super angry that i don't know how to answer that then asks me to leave to this day biggest wtf interview i've had maybe the correct answer would be cars and trees company was downsizing all employees in a specific yet exclusive division were fired and ordered to reapply for their position plus two other jobs in the company you'd either get one of those jobs or be terminated the subsequent interviews were conducted with a manager and an hour person first interview in executive suite manager asks why aren't you applying for this key supervisory slot i had listed it second on my list me i would prefer to stay in my expertise in which i won a national award hr i didn't know awards like that existed second interview current boss likes me for my existing job for which i was heavily recruited from another company hr wow so you're the guy who does this job i had no idea a real person did it third interview hr person says he's never heard of my division or that employees actually worked at night i had listed this job in which i merely served as a minor manager as third on my preferences really didn't want it but had to list three the results i was retained but transferred to the third dead end day job my old award-winning job was given to an aging staffer who never worked in that position or had a clue the supervisor job went to a brilliant colleague who wanted and deserved it i quit very soon thereafter and joined a bigger company with better benefits skill pays off after all that my old company seeing the error of its ways in lost production and general lack of ability offered me a bonus to return nope nope nope and i'm returning the corporate knife you stuck in my back background my face tends to get really red when i'm stressed embarrassed in a previous job my company hired a consultant to help some of us improve our presentation skills consultant gave me some good advice one of the weirder pieces of advice however was that if my face got red i should flex my calf muscles because the flexing would divert blood away from my face into my legs i had no idea if that was true or not but it was weird enough that i remembered it job interview about 10 years later i'm giving a presentation at a job interview i'm a scientist and giving a research presentation as part of a job interview is pretty common my research was pretty good but it had one critical flaw that i wanted to avoid discussing during my presentation somehow everyone in the room locked in on the floor and directed a barrage of critical questions at me i could feel my face starting to get red and all i could do was furiously flex my freaking calf muscles which didn't do a damn thing i didn't get the job lol i have the same thing where i easily go very red to the point where people have commented geez you are so red right now as if i wasn't already acutely aware interviewer putting candy bars on the table to open the interview have a candy bar do you want hershey's or snickers me neither thanks i go ahead pick one m i don't want any candy now thanks i take one hershey's or snickers m okay i'll take the snickers i no i want the snickers you take the hershey's m no thank you maybe they were trying to pull off some dumbbell power move stunt that they saw in some movie i was interviewing for a job in houston and lived in austin about 2.5 hours away i drove to houston for the first round of interviews and they said it went well and wanted to being me and for a final interview so i drove there again it seemed like it went well and they told me they had one more interview to conduct and would have a decision tomorrow so the next day came and went i emailed the manager to ask if any decision had been made nothing waited a couple more days left a voicemail nothing then a couple days later i just called the main number for the company and told the receptionist why i was calling she was like well someone just started in that job yesterday they ghosted me after i drove a total of 10 hours to interview twice still salty about that 11 years later that's fricked up it's simple courtesy to send a thanks but no thanks to rejected applicants an email at the very least a call would be best speaking from experience of being on both sides of the table even 11 years later sorry dude i interviewed for what was my dream job something that i have a ton of experience in and two degrees including one from literally the most prestigious school in my field they liked me so much on my first few rounds of interviews that they asked me to fly across the country for the final one so i go through easily the worst travel day of my life arrive for my interview and the interviewer takes one look at my resume and says i don't know why you came all the way out here you aren't qualified for this suffice to say i will never work there had an interview went well i was offering the job on the spot and accepted the hr manager went to get the needed paperwork came back 10 minutes later and said i must have forgot that we already filled this position i'm sorry but we don't have an opening i could call you if something opens back up i said no thank you it was my best interview great rapport with the interviewer gave me the job on the spot it for a transfer to qa at johnson control came into work the next day to have the offer rescinded the job was already given to the plant manager's niece and it had only been posted because of company policy the story is much longer and complicated afterward but it was the first of several times i had been promoted different companies and then been told never mind you're making me feel better about being ghosted by that company for a similar position a few years ago after what i thought was a successful interview had an interview at an office supply store once guy told me straight up it was a high pressure sales quota job their prices on computers and peripherals were crap and that's what i'd be selling dude straight up said it's a lot of work for low pay not a lot of people enjoy working there and he finished off with the fact that he's been there for 18 years practically ran out of that interview screaming well can't fault his honesty if only more interviewers were like that bit of context this happened in 2008 and i had just graduate as a massage therapist since the economy was in the pits due to the recession glad this never happened again mts were not exactly in high demand so employers could be picky the only reason i was even considered for most of my interviews was because i graduated from an accredited school a lot of the places i interviewed that would turn me down pretty quickly since i didn't have either 10 plus years experience or the body of a supermodel with a massive rack i'm 100 serious btw easily the worst experience was at a chiropractor who did absolutely nothing to hide his contempt for massage therapists he showed up late went into his office to check his mail first and then proceeded to have the interview with me in his waiting room he knew he could pick any mt he wanted and gave zero fricks about how i felt when it finally got on the subject of pay he offered me minimum wage at the time your average mt was paid about twenty dollars to thirty dollars an hour and i was already working a dead-end job at a gas station making two dollars more than what he was offering i brought up how absurdly low his offer was and he booked saying that i would be paid as if i was working 40 hours a week so it would even out he also clarified that i would be expected to clean the office when not seeing a client so i'd also be an underpaid janitor as well frick that guy also our lmt graduated in oh nine i interviewed with achiero where a staff member gave me a tour then took me to the dr practice owner he offered me the job at an absurdly low rate without asking me a single question i couldn't run away fast enough i had a skype interview with a private practice and the lady interviewing me literally made it sound like a stern military parent you can never be late mind you the job was an hour away even if you have a cold you can never call in sick idk if this was meant for pre or post covered we're a small company so you won't have much of a work-life balance ps hour pay for all this dedication is only three dollars more than the measly pay you're getting now just a whole interview of red flags and the last one was when the lady messaged me immediately after saying i got the job and had to leave my job at maximum five days notice regardless of me kind of bombing the interview and claiming there were other interviewees in line i could see why they were having trouble hearing people tbh started as the worst and ended as the best the beginning started like this i'm so sorry to have to inform you of this but we pulled the wrong resume contact information we didn't mean to call you in for an interview before leaving the interviewer gave me a brief tour of the company grounds because they felt so bad for wasting my time they introduced me to the department head that i would have been working for if that department was actually hiring i had a great conversation in the department head was convinced that i would be an asset to them and they hired me on the spot i had something similar to this but not as good of an ending i got an email asking to do an interview for a company but it was addressing somebody else they were emailing me when they meant to email somebody else tried play it off like i didn't notice and thought maybe they'd be cool about it and let me comment for an interview anyways they weren't having it i applied for an internship at a human rights law office they gave me questions on the spot to debate with them like should people accused of rape remain anonymous until convicted and is bribery acceptable if it's for a good cause it was me versus a panel of five senior human rights lawyers for a whole hour who just ripped me apart from start to finish everything i said they made sound like the dumbest response with their rebuttals by the end i was a nervous babbling wreck did not get the internship but did appreciate the experience in retrospect when they got back to me they told me your cv resume was fantastic so we were quite disappointed with how poor your interview was bern employers of reddit what has been your most awkward interview for a new employee ever i was phone screening an art candidate for a video game project the recruiter had sent me a fine looking resume which included 10 years of modeling texturing rigging and animating experience on his website he had some pretty good dragon type creatures so i called him up i started the interview by asking the candidate about the last project he worked on he said he made wivens for the game's second life i asked him to tell me about that project he proceeded to excitedly launch into a description of the different types of wyverns and their relationships to each other and wiven society apparently one wiven named bob was a jerk until you get to know him but his wife and lover was very friendly and outgoing i explained that i wanted to know about his last job could he talk about his artistic process or what he learned or what he would want to do differently on a future project but the candidate couldn't seem to switch away from explaining his wife and characters he kept going on about all their backstories i eventually got him to explain that all his projects over the past 10 years related exclusively to these wives and second life characters when i verified that he had never worked as an employee for a paying company he explained that he hated corporations and would never agree to work for one i told him that this interview was for a job as an artist at a corporation he proceeded to politely tell me he was no longer interested well that was interesting me do you want a glass of water applicant yes me frick i don't have one awkward silence followed by so tell me about yourself not currently an employer but i managed an arcade for a year did a skype interview for one of our locations that wasn't nearby to me so it was easier to use skype than drive out for interviews with high school kids i swear this guy was playing games on his computer clicking almost non-stop looking around his screen etc only asked about half my questions didn't call him back this reminded me of a situation i experienced this year i was laid off by the company i worked for and was trying to back into the workforce early twenties btw i applied for a management position at gomestop i had four years of management experience at mcdonald's they called me back and offered me minimum wage at four hours a week nkt sure why this comment reminded of this but it did i was a gm for a chick-fil-a for a while 19 year old kid walks into the restaurant for an interview he seems nice enough and the interview was good so i offered him a job on the spot he broke down in tears at first i thought he was overly ecstatic and was merely happy crying odd but some people are desperate he kept crying and didn't seem pleased so i thought maybe the stress level of the interview was high and he was relief stress crying nope this kid was extremely upset apparently his parents gave him an ultimatum to get a job or leave the house but working fast food wasn't what he wanted to do for his whole life he had an interview later that day at some game video store in town that was his dream job this seems like it would be no big deal but after talking to him consoling him for five minutes i realized he believed that once i offered him the job he was forced to accept and begin working immediately it seemed like he felt he was supposed to be fine working at a chick-fil-a for the next 40 years until he retired and that he had no choice in the matter i asked if his parents told him he had to accept the first offer or if they were forcing him to keep a job for a few years for a steady job history of nope he just really had no idea that people changed jobs both parents only ever talked about working at one place so he assumed where you got your first job was also where you retired from this one made me a little sad not me but one of my old bosses i ended up taking over interviews for this department for a while before i quit had a middle-aged gentleman not only show up late because he was riding the bus okay it happens but also brought his not super well behaved young kid my old boss being super nice tries to proceed with the interview with a toddler running around the office until the interviewee says hang on my kid is hungry produces a bag of goldfish crackers from his pocket and then sprinkles them all over the floor for the kid to gobble up like a literal animal old boss said it took everything in him not to crack up thanked goldfish man for his time and sent him on his way he didn't get the job i love this comment so much that i screen [ __ ] it thank you an ex-boxer and drug trafficker i knew came for a job at a factory where i was a supervisor he openly told me in the interview that he just wanted a job for the appearance and asked if i could tuck him away somewhere easy so he could keep his own hours lol girl came in with facial tattoos one of a spider web on her chin and a couple of others i couldn't really identify this was just for a server position i hired her she had a good resume and was personable enough on her third day she just didn't show up she came in about two hours later drunk off her butt and asked why we called in someone else she called me and butthole and i told her she's no longer employed she literally came in two weeks later with her resume like she didn't know she'd been fired no one told me it was the same girl and i sat down with her i was surprised as heck and told her she'd been fired before and it wasn't an option to rehire her she literally did not remember working there for a few days or meeting me or anyone else at the restaurant it was awkward as frick because she cried for about five minutes about a month later a co-worker said she saw her kinda hard to hide the tattoo with a sign outside of a freeway asking for money i still feel bad but come on not showing up and being drunk on your third day the fact that she was probably high and drunk enough during the entire period of her short employment to not remember it at all is what's really impressive i once interviewed someone who had listed several technologies on her resume that she didn't actually have any experience with the interview started like this i look at her resume me so looks like you have some experience with svn her no i don't know what that is me subversion she gives me a blank stare me the version control system her i've never heard of it me you have it listed on your resume long silence while she just stares at me it didn't get any better from there so weird situation i was the one being interviewed but the woman interviewing me seemed to have never interviewed anyone before she didn't explain anything about the job or ask me any questions so i had to ask her about everything and then mention i had experience in that area she seemed pretty nervous and kept saying i don't know and laughing uncomfortably i thought felt like i was interviewing her actually i got the job though an applicant for our psychologist position had a decent resume but required a phone interview as she lived interstate the phone interview was rife with audio problems her answers were interrupted by loud rushing noises that sounded like water and she seemed distracted halfway through the interview she asked if we could call back later turned out she was walking along the beach shore collecting seashells as the sun was setting in the horizon the ocean allegedly looked so beautiful that she felt compelled to stop and take photos i had one potential candidate actually tell me he was too high to answer the question i had one poor girl's mother interrupt the interview to ask is this going to take much longer i have somewhere i'd like to be interviewed a guy in his mid-50s for a job and he proceeded to tell me how he got fired for punching his last boss in the mouth within the first 30 seconds of the interview i was a supervisor at a casino and did all the hiring for the cage and bank candidate looked good on paper i explained our drug policy and how certain things in one's background were an automatic no i explained that the gaming commission would be doing a background check and her employment was provisional to their okay it got to the end of the interview she leaned and so yeah don't check for coke do you yes but pepsi is okay i'm not an employer but i've talked with my previous manager on some of his interview experiences he's had numerous candidates who when asked why they're interested in the job say they don't want to be cooped up inside all day at a desk the job is in financial services at a desk indoors all day he's also talked about people who talk about how they didn't list their previous employers as references because they'd have absolutely nothing good to say about them we used to ask a math question as part of the beginning of our interviews it was always something relatively simple like what is 60 of 300 we asked this exact question to a candidate and she paused no a pause lasts for a few seconds she stopped a minute went by and then another passed after a while i told her that it didn't matter and that she could just guess she declined no declining would imply that she said anything at all instead she stared down at her fingers for another four minutes at this point my peer and myself are on the verge of laughing i'm not exaggerating it was actually around seven minutes that felt like an eternity when i was digging my nails into my thigh so that i would not smile she looked up she stared me straight in the eyes and said 57 never once was this a question about money no i just did the math it's definitely 57 not an employer but a girl came in for an interview at my work barefoot she had a blouse and crap but no shoes she also did some weird things she works there now and before any of you ask she wears shoes i wasn't the employer in this convo but i was the lead siren supervisor so i participated in the interview the company was an icepenned computer sales shop and the job was for a junior system admin tech support pc builder when we asked if he had any questions the only thing he wanted to know was if he could surf p in the office after hours frequently asked questions from pastimes i've told this story our manager said yes as long as he used an office without a window and the front door was locked we hired him we later fired him not pee related one holy crap two holy crap three holy crap i was the one being interviewed in this scenario to this day i honestly couldn't tell you what happened but for some reason i answered every single question he asked me with i don't know why did my brain freeze up like this i really don't know nothing like having all the answers mapped out in your head and then forgetting literally everything during the interview except fine dining and breathing when i was working at a warehouse as a manager someone came into an interview i was performing falling down drunk literally couldn't string more than a few words together without slurring weaked off alcohol the works he was applying to be a truck driver needless to say i didn't hire him my manager was recently supposed to interview a 16 year old for a position at our store but he did not show up instead his mom came in for him worst part was she had to hire him as he was a recommendation from our owner please tell me you're kidding i never scheduled an interview for this candidate but i had a man come in to call the store multiple times over the course of two or three weeks he was asking about a job for his wife he said she was available two specific days of the week for a specific four-hour time spent each day not really the availability we're looking for i told him multiple times as nicely as possible that we do not hire candidates with such limited availability and that i would be happy to discuss his wife's application with her if she contacted me when he would come into the store his wife would be with him but never said anything he eventually mentioned that she doesn't speak english at all i had to tell him that i can't hire someone who can't communicate with any of our employees or customers a guy had the a similar issue with one of my students constantly trying to get me to hire his mom as an assistant i know learning english is hard but if you can't communicate with anyone you're useless to the organization i have to say the girl who admitted to leaving panera is because it was too fast-paced did not think it through when she applied to my starbucks store i was the interviewee i was applying for a city government job that i wasn't fully qualified for i knew this but i knew the header of the department so that got me the in i also took the initiative to pre-take several qualifying exams etc and get myself certified in some areas of the job so with my bit of nepotism and initiative i managed to make it to the final round of interviews it was down to two people i expected another get to know you interview type interview that i always do well with because i'm fairly personable and put off a trusting vibe well this interview wasn't like that first surprise was seeing the number of people waiting to interview me the mayor fire chief police chief and heads of all the other major departments were there next surprise came when they started taking turns asking very technical questions involving many different areas of expertise i could only answer about 1 out of every 10 questions the interview lasted for 2 hours i still wish after 10 minutes i had just politely acknowledged what we all knew that i was unqualified and apologize for wasting their time at least then i could have saved some face i still get embarrassed thinking about this today well over a decade later meh i had a smaller scale example of this when i worked in a union applied for a networking computer job and was surprised to get an interview my boss came clean well you they have to you're in the union i should have bowed out but thought it would be good experience they were really nice about it and cut it a bit short i can slightly relate to the feeling though so cringy apparently it's not unheard of that kids in their early 20s bring their parents in on job interviews i'd be embarrassed to ever admit i did that that straight up screams i'm not ready to be accountable to myself i have to have constant supervision me being interviewed employee so do you have any experience doing very large commercial events me no i don't i'm sorry i don't believe it said anything about that in the job ad employee no it didn't me i don't have that kind of experience i have experience in mid-level commercial events employee yeah that's not going to do me so why didn't it say we could have skipped this part employee we are currently trying to figure out what the position takes i basically need someone to take over my job as i'll be leaving in some months me so you do the large commercial events now employee number me completely giving up now watching my cup of tea cool down few months later i'm employed somewhere else past that place office closed business shut down i own a small business that does mobile car detailing no more than a month ago we had interviews to hire two employees one of the potential guy came in and was relaxed when asked about one of his qualities he said well i get up in the morning and when asked what his favorite car was he said i dunno pickups when i asked if he had a specific brand in mind he responded yeah black pickups it's no surprise we didn't hire him man that's a tough question to ask in an interview it takes months of soul searching to come up with an answer i was regrettably a mcdonald's manager for a few years we were short staff so to cover a workers break i was on a register while taking a customer's order a young man approached us walked straight up to the counter and attempted to wedge himself between the customer and me ima here for an interview not only had he made an uncomfortable and rude intrusion on a customer he was wearing a white undershirt wife beater as it's called here with pants slung below his barks cheeks and boxes hanging out my response was no you're not i was one of a series of interviewers for a development position i gave a standard fizz buzz question as a soft opener just to make sure the person knows how to do the bare minimum that would be required for the job plus starting with softball questions tends to make the candidates happier and more confident i had one guy who immediately after i asked the question said oh god i'm not good at recursion then clenched his chest and had a full-blown panic attack after i calmed him down we spent the remainder of the interview talking about hobbies and soft animals he did not get an offer i loved tiny bunnies interviewed a guy for a technical writing position he submitted a writing sample of a story he wrote about an office worker who kills all his co-workers i used to do phone interviews before face-to-face interviews and had a few odd moments i've have several parents want to answer the questions on behalf of their child a few frick offers they assumed i was cold calling around 20 didn't speak a word of english which was no good as it was customer facing one woman won't let me speak she just repeated the words i got job i come in now she turned up it took 20 minutes to get her to understand it was only a job interview not an actual job i got job i come in now i was probably that person i should mention i'm autistic so when i'm anxious i can completely lose the ability to speak or even think my internal monologue basically turns into tv static in this case i had a phone interview with the department of agriculture for an internship they asked me to name five farm animals probably as an easy throw away question i completely blanked and it took me about five minutes of awkward silence to remember the existence of cows same thing when they asked me about plants i didn't get the job a lady who previously worked for disney was interviewed for an hour manager position at a place i used to work she talked about everything you shouldn't like family mental health problems and physical limitations to get her back on track one of the interviewers asked what was the best part of working for disney she answered the magic my co-workers walked out laughing so hard they were in tears and how badly the whole thing had gone my friend john isn't on reddit so i'll take his story jon's interviewing a guy dave for a tech support job and asks what interests him about the certification he's studying for dave doesn't know john asks what was the topic of the last class session dave attended then and dave goes off about how he doesn't need the class and already knows everything jon wants to know if dave has any customer relations skills at all spoiler no and asks about some stories from dave's current job driving for libba dave explained that human brains are wired to only remember negative experiences sounds like dave is very smart and likely watches rick and morty he was clearly a good pick for the job i interviewed a guy a few years older than me for a pretty much entry-level sales role can't remember everything unfortunately but this guy thought he was the best thing since sliced bread and obviously expected the job on the spot turned him down for someone with no experience as he wouldn't have been good chemistry wise and i didn't rate him anyway he emailed me later that day basically having a tantrum that he didn't get the job saying that he was obviously the best candidate and the reason he didn't get the job was my lack of management skill and judgment it then went on to rip me apart and build him up and still loosely ask for the job forwarded his email along with his cv to other local managers i was close to and my boss it was a friday and was met with hilarity and amusement what a clown advice for getting a job don't be like this guy all he did was confirm to your boss that you have good judgment motion picture property master interviewed someone relatively new in town to be my on-set assistant prop master a position sometimes credited as stand by props he boasted that he had been the stand by propmen for a big sci-fi feature with a 100 plus m budget that had come to town the year previous i asked him who his prop master had been he gave me a name i recognized as someone from another city who occasionally came to do cheap tv movies when things were slow on his own patch but who had never done features i then informed the applicant that i had actually been the property master on that sci-fi feature and that as he and i had never met it was unlikely that he had been the standby prop man then i invited him to leave my office and to make sure i never ever saw his face again so i guess that would qualify as his most awkward interview if not exactly mine postscript later i spoke to my actual assistant on that feature he recalled the name and indicated he had been dispatched by the union when we requested a few extra hands for a week but he had proven so inept and clueless that he had been dismissed early on his second day clearly he hadn't learned much about professional conduct during the intervening year don't know if he left the business or not but i haven't run across him again from the interview we said i once had a 45-minute interview with two employers we weren't sat at a table it was just three desk chairs arranged in a kind of circle but when i was sitting at the bus stop afterwards i realized my fly was undone the whole time miraculously they still offered me a job though i guess they just really liked what they saw a seemingly normal lady in her late 40s mentioned she lived with her parents and that they discussed the position and said it was okay for her to go to the interview went from being the most promising candidate to being the weirdest could have easily been someone with asperger's i manage a retail store and we have an online system that tracks applicants that apply through our website one lady applied and i immediately recognized her name two weeks previous she had been utterly awful to my 20 year old co-worker my employee was the sweetest person and trying to hard to fix her problem and all this woman did was make nasty and mean comments i came over after another employee came to get me to deal with the situation and she yelled at me for how awful my employee and i were and how she hated our store i politely asked her to leave and told her that i had fixed the issue she had she didn't care and swore at us on her way out i figured this lady's name isn't terribly original so it has to be a different lady with the same name nope she walks in shakes my hand talks about how great she is with people and all of her many accomplishments for 20 30 minutes it took everything within me not to laugh the entire time i was there tl dr lady came in and yelled and cussed at me and my employees interviewed her two weeks later assuming it was someone else with the same generic name it was not she was not tired retired cop here we had one young 21 year old kid who just finished the academy and on his first day of field training he was interviewing a 20-year-old hot girl who had sex with a minor boy while she was giving the details of a sex act they did he freaking passes out turns out he was raised in a very strict mormon family and was very very sheltered he never even kissed a girl and was super nervous hearing a hot chick tell him how a kid six years his younger put it in her butt he was let go a few days later he was oddly naive to the real world and not street smart he would have been killed out there interviewed a guy for a first line i t role first question was just a casual get to know you question me what interests you about a career in id guy i like making folders moving files about you know making folders moving them dang that was a short interview i had one interviewee once who kept farting throughout the interview audibly kept lifting a cheek didn't say excuse me or acknowledge them at all just would lift to cheek let it rip while talking it was a small interview room and it got pretty funky by the end has anyone else ever had the interview we turned the whole thing around and start interviewing you back i'm a young ish manager in publishing in the most bizarre interview i had was with an older woman who had applied for a role no problem there at all on paper i was keen to use her experience in my team but during the interview she seemed thrown by the fact i was younger along with a similar hr manager and gradually turned the interview around until she was asking all the questions it started by her replying to our questions with more questions about the company work environment job role etc can kind of see the sense in that as it is a two-way process but she also asked me about my background my previous jobs and i started to answer that was like hang on a minute after about 15 minutes the dynamic was completely the wrong way round it felt like she was interviewing me considering she knew i was going to be her line manager if she got the job i have no idea why she went for this tactic incidentally when we didn't offer her the job she was the only candidate to ask for detailed feedback on why she actually threatened to file a complaint phil not getting the job luckily i had the hr manager there too who agreed it had been a truly bizarre interview and there's just no way she would have happily worked under me people who hold job interviews what are the answers you want to hear to some of your most common questions at an interview i was conducting i asked the typical what are some of your strengths question the kids answer was well i'm not smart but what i'll lack an intelligence i make up for in work ethic it's dishwashing i don't have to be smart smartest answer i've ever heard hired on the spot comments dishwashing i don't have to be smart comma smartest answer i've ever heard wait a minute at the end when they say do you have any questions i always ask yes why do you work here every time i've used it the interviewer has always appreciated it it's a better way of asking why do i want to work here and makes it more personal for the interviewer who has probably interviewed 30 people by this point if the interviewee doesn't know a reply to a technical question just say they don't know but this is how i would find out i had a professor say to always follow up to questions you didn't know during your interview i got an on-site interview which led to my current job by following up to a technical question in my thank you email to be honest i hate the entire interview process some people are really great at putting on a show and saying all the right things but that tells me nothing about how good of an employee they will be i use the interview more of a way to determine if they will be a good fit the exact answers to the questions are partly irrelevant i wouldn't have requested an interview if you resume prior work and education wasn't already sufficient to prove you're qualified i just want honest responses not scripted bs i worked with a girl who would absolutely kill any job interview interviewing well was her secret weapon but she had absolutely no discretionary skills so if she couldn't cite it in policy she couldn't make a judgment call so she was a horrible employee who ended up getting fired but she would interview circles around me and get any job we both applied for no sweat i want you to take a moment to think about my question and come up with an answer not repeat back and answer you've been rehearsing for months if you don't have an answer right off the bat i have no problem with someone saying hum let me take a moment to think about that i want to hire a human who i can work with not someone who is going to give textbook answers to everything i want to hear that you are interested in doing the job no more or less what the position entails and can act autonomously also helpful is someone who is laid back and can have a laugh i remember a candidate saying once that she needed a lot of micromanaging cv binned if someone sounds like a hr nightmare in the interview or gonna cause me aggro in that regard i'll bin them as well sounds obvious but always give examples relating to the question asked always be honest with your availability and say how you will fit in with the team share your interests and try to have a laugh where appropriate ask questions about the company if you can but don't be afraid to say you don't have any of the time nothing wrong with that if you are personable and approachable you'll more likely be remembered instead of your cv getting binned had a phone interview with a few candidates for a sys admin position one who had experience with ms exchange seemed like a strong candidate i asked him if he'd done a migration from the version we were on to the latest version as we were considering doing the migration when he came in for the face-to-face interview he'd researched the migration process printed materials with step-by-step instructions and gave it to me at the start of the interview he said i could keep it and hoped it would help us with our upcoming migration it did help but not as much as hiring him to do it as a person who has been interviewing for the past few months the questions you ask as a job seeker are equally important the employee employer relationship is a two-way street you should be interviewing the company as well some of the questions i ask if not already covered in the interview one what are the typical daily activities for the position schedule two what qualities would you like to have in the next person filling this position three is this a new position where did the last person holding the position go four who would be training me and how will they do it five what are the main goals for this position six what are the challenges in this position department seven how does this position grow is there room for advancement eight what do you like about working for the company i find that often these questions help me identify deal breakers in a company like no room for advancement or finding out the company expects 60-hour work weeks i agree with you it boggles my mind how many people have no questions at the end of the interview i'm looking for just a couple things are you a happy person do you seem pleasant to be around are you going to be nice to everyone if i have a bunch of people qualified for the job then all that i care about is those things basically how pleasant are they going to be my first interview after college i got a call back a few days later and was offered the position on the phone the hiring manager said you weren't the most qualified for the position but i liked you so we would like to offer you the position i have always remembered this if you don't know something admit i t don't bs i may actually ask questions that are deliberately designed to test if you are obese the only trick if you can call it that is that i want to hear about real professional experiences your personal work in the subject is a nice bonus but you'll be rated on whether or not you've done it professionally also that you don't use the same examples for multiple questions even though it fits both tells me your experience on those subjects is pretty narrow if you are invited for the interview your resume has already been looked over and it seems like you would be able to do the job the interview is to assess one were you lying on your resume too are you weird the questions what's the biggest mistake you've made name the time you overcame a problem etc just to find out if you're someone that's going to freak out or hide a problem no good moving on some weeks i spend more time at work than with my family are you someone that i can chat with rely on someone i don't have to babysit how to send an email are you willing to learn do you smell bad the interview is all about personality be honest be yourself and don't talk over the interviewer i'm as honest as i can be but awkward too that has proven to be a hindrance unfortunately one tip i was told was in response to the question what's your greatest weakness or what do you need to improve in yourself just say public speaking i feel it's something that everyone understands and doesn't really put much negative light on you the role i hire for is incredibly demanding and extremely well paid i ask people to describe a time in their lives when they had just too much to do maybe a deadline at work and one of their kids at home with strep throat and their parents are renovating their house so their parents moved in with them but how did they handle when they simply had too much to do for some period of time honest about your flaws when we ask don't do that bulls although my flaw is that i am a perfectionist care too much work too much that they try to sell sometimes just say what you struggle with and how you are working to overcome it when i'm interviewing what i am most interested in is learning if this is a person that i want to spend potentially years of my life with if i called you in for an interview then i already think you can do the job based on your resume now i just want to see if you're buttoned up and fun stick in the mud that i should pass over or if you're someone that can crack a joke and make the work day better for all of us i want to hear that you have given the question thought instead of thinking about what i want to hear i have no interest in working with people who are more concerned about what i think of them than they are with the actual job at hand i don't know if this applies to all interviews but i am currently hiring and ask people what their hobbies passions are i honestly don't care what it is as long as you are passionate about it i find people who are passionate in a healthy way about pretty much anything are passionate about being a quality person as well just as long as what you are into isn't creepy or something we're good if you're into bugs or trees or model trains unless you can get into more detail about why you are passionate about hiking and sports i'm going to question whether you are actually passionate about anything i hire business analysts and project managers for upside as opposed to tech side in the investment management world i always ask the interviewees a behavioral question about screwing something up personally how the issue was addressed short term and what the long term takeaways were i don't expect perfection everyone has made a boneheaded mistake at some point what i'm trying to get at is how readily you can spot errors how flexible you can be in solving them and how creative you are for preventing repeat occurrences most people just try to convince me they haven't ever really messed anything up have a canned answer to those stupid greatest weakness type questions i prefer not to ask those questions but some of my colleagues do the answer is rather inconsequential but if you don't have a canned answer ready to go it shows that you don't prepare just memorize something from online also always have four or five upbeat questions for the interviewer ask about their favorite part of their job why they chose a company etc this does two main things it takes pressure off of the interviewer to keep the conversation going and it helps you see red flags if the interviewer seems stumped and can't name his or her favorite thing about the company it's because it is a soul-sucking tomb truth one yes i will be late a lot too yes i am self-entitled and expect you to overlook my childish behavior three i know this interview is a formality just tell me when i'm starting four why yes i will be an hour nightmare in four months i'm waiting for a reason to sue your company too be able to succinctly and directly tell me why your skills and experience make you a great candidate for the position you'd be surprised how many people apply for jobs that they don't seem to really understand what it is or what they'll be doing this is such a soft ball every candidate for a job should be able to knock this question out of the park when applicants fumble on this one i immediately cross them off my mental list you should be interviewing me as much as i am interviewing you you should be asking questions about the role the office the culture your responsibilities etc i want to know a terrible experience you've had with a customer and how you handled it this might not be true for all employers but i want honesty i can't stand when someone throws a softball and crushes it out the park i'd rather hear there was one customer who was yelling at me i had to get the manager because i couldn't do anything i'm polite but i'm still a person who deserves to be treated with respect don't tell me how you got kicked around with a happy smile went out your way and didn't want to punch their head in i know you're lying it's less about having the right answer and more about how you'd go about solving a problem if i tell you this is a customer service job where you'll be answering phones taking orders and dealing with customer complaints tell me about your previous customer service experience i am looking for someone to tell me about answering phones taking orders and dealing with customer complaints source i own a weekly meal prep company and have interviewed well over 200 people in the last three years not a job interviewer but when an employer during an interview ask what's something you don't like about yourself always says that you're sometimes forgetful so you like to write things down this is actually true in my case i'm hoping someone asks me that so i can bust out my planner and show my monthly view weekly view and daily to-do lists are you taking this job because you need it or because you want it i like to hear both i don't want to hire someone who doesn't need the job and i won't hire someone who doesn't want to work there after getting hired and trained i like to watch them while they don't think they're being watched one in four of the people i hire actually show initiative the other three coast along and follow or flat out won't do anything unless they're told to do so i manage lube tex most are ages 16 23 years old honestly don't be afraid to refer back your resume chances are employers looked at a fuckton of resumes and didn't even read through all the fine details oh yeah and provide an honest detailed and sincere answer to the why did you choose insert company or field here don't wiff it that should be the answer you prepared the most for i hate that question it's just asking candidates to lie not an interviewer but someone who has had a fair share of interviews i've found that spending five minutes researching a company and coming up with a question about said company will always win points remember an interview goes two ways i've also found companies have offered me higher than advertised salary packaging because i practically interviewed the company if you are ever stuck in a pinch trying to think of a question to ask a great one is can i see the office space basically asking to look at the environment you will be working in a game you are interviewing the company as well as they are interviewing you according to family legend my mom was asked in a job interview how much are you expecting to be paid for this position she responded 75 000 interviewer that's more than i make mom quietly then you probably need a better job hired on the spot worked for him for 25 years my mom is the master of confidence without arrogance i am surprised i haven't seen anyone mention loyalty i sat in some interviews last week and one person showed he was passionate and talked about how it was his dream job and he will be a lifer at the position knowing you won't need to hire the position for yours is a huge burden off the managers if you have jumped jobs a lot in the past explain why no one wants to hire someone that will be gone in eight months but if you can explain why you jumped positions such as better quality of job mismanaged department something to at least explain why you worked for five different companies in the last two years talking negatively about past employers is an automatic dq for me if you can't figure out how to get your point across without talking bad about others i have no use for you we hold it as a panel of three i'm the one asking the technical questions and i'll keep going with the questions until i hear paraphrasing here one i don't know perfect we are off to a good start this is where if not prompted by the interviewee already i steer the questions to get them to either relate the topic at hand to something they are more familiar with or give them an opportunity to ask about it two i don't know but i can google it figure it out you're definitely a candidate for the job honesty open-minded to adopt new solutions and proactive what more can an employee ask for three a made-up answer i couldn't care less about this interview any longer i don't bother with stock questions i prefer a more conversational situation where i learn about the candidate and their experience i interview people for new bartending positions all the time and have for years if they are presently working in the industry i want to know why they would leave their current job or bar restaurant to come work at the bar i work at i want to know that they are deliberately wanting to work at the bar at which they are interviewing and not just work somewhere new it can be as simple an answer as i like the people i have encountered coming into your bar and the staff are super professional or i like the way you treat your guests and how you create an environment that is fun inviting and focused on creating a wonderful atmosphere i need to know that you have already somewhat invested in working at this bar as opposed to just working at any other bar outside of the one you are presently working coma i need to know that you have already somewhat invested in working at this bar as opposed poster just working at any other bar outside of the one you are presently working i think this applies anywhere not just with bars everyone interviewing should have a decent answer for this coma give them to me young hungry and stupid and in no time i'll make em rich i'm the head of sales and account management so i'm just looking for people who are excited about the company and can understand our vision and everything else i could give less of a crap everyone bullshits anyway that you have researched the company beforehand and can answer the most basic questions about some of our history practices i interview for project manager business analyst and qa led positions in my department in these positions knowledge of development methodology and their role in it is especially important especially agile and sdlc in general and how they use variants and why i'm also looking for clarity of thought candidates will always have several projects listed on their resume and i'll pick an interesting one and ask them questions about it rather than specific answers i'm looking for them to be able to impart at least a rudimentary understanding of their project what was the goal who were the stakeholders how did they interact what challenges were there and how did they overcome them what did the system do how was the data represented how did they know it was done done correctly the answer should be concise informative and coherent ps i'm looking for three pages max in a resume any time there's more it's always a hot mess if there's really that much i expect it to be trimmed to three or less which is focused on the position and skills i'm interviewing for i hold interviews for faculty at the gradual doctorate level and part of the interview day is a powerpoint lecture on a predetermined topic i don't really care what you talk about in the lecture but sometimes there will be people in the audience who will ask questions that are purposely difficult to see how the candidate responds if you don't know what they are getting at and they keep asking if there is anything else you would like to add just say i am not sure of the answer is there something specific you would like me to elaborate on sometimes the person has a detail or specific thing they want you to say and they just keep saying anything else anything you would like to add what else and it's just embarrassing for everybody i tend to interview for graduate roles we don't ask the cliche questions i'm seeing a lot of here we ask behavioral base questions i want to hear that you know the company you're applying for and that you actually want to work for us sure if the options are working or winning the lotto we'd all choose the lotto but i want to know that you actually want to do this kind of work and it's not a last resort i want to hear that you have a little ambition whether you want to be a technical expert or a leader i want to know that you are chasing goals i know you don't have a world of experience it's absolutely expected that you reference your studies and casual work if i ask a question about safety attitudes you don't need to talk about the time you shut down a mine when you stopped your colleague from sticking a knife and the toaster is totally fine just show me that you can think things through we ask people a basic troubleshooting question about a desk lamp that doesn't turn on we want them to explain their methodology for identifying the problem and resolving it hopefully they tell us things like well i try unknown working light in that socket or i swap bulbs to a like lamp or similar steps that identify the problem instead of blindly telling us they go look at the breaker box i run a business unit for a large technology company my group is comprised of stellar people who have built a strong sense of community and who are highly collaborative and supportive of one another the team itself is really very special so my leadership team and i are very selective and cautious about who we hire we seek like-minded people honestly i'm looking more at how someone is how they handle being asked questions how they present themselves how they speak and also really trying to assess personality give me examples and be proud of yourself i don't care that you are an expert at bowl making tell me about the best bowl you ever made i interviewed tons of people that give canned answers about what they can do but never talk about what they have done example how do you deal with conflict in the workplace what i always hear i try talking to the person about their behavior and if that doesn't work i tell my supervisor what i would like to hear i once had a co-worker harassing me in the workplace i took that co-worker aside and asked them to stop i told them that this was unacceptable and if it didn't stop i would involve my boss put me in your shoes so that i can see how you think i want employees that solve their own problems in general you want to stick to the opportunity for which you're applying so if you're interviewing for a position in customer service don't talk about a position in finance explain how you want to advance at some point but be enthusiastic about the role for which you're applying or anytime someone says tell me about a time when refer to the star bar method try to limit your response to no more than 30 seconds if you can anytime someone says tell me about yourself be genuine educational accomplishments or goals and your hobbies are great talking points any time someone asks what interests you in the company try to think of three quick points to narrow it down to don't be afraid to be specific for example if you've noticed a company does a lot of volunteer work and this is appealing to you speak to that two examples of good questions to ask a recruiter comma is there anything i can make more clear that may not be evident on my resume comma what does a successful candidate look like in this position after training has been complete if you want to expand further try comma how much precious training in the field of does the average candidate have hopefully these help someone if they say yes to the question are you legally required to do the sex offender shuffle then say welcome aboard especially at school interviews managers offered it in what unexpected ways have job candidates impressed you during interviews i own a small company and i'm very hands-on i was expecting someone to come for an interview i had a piece of equipment breakdown and i was working on it as this person showed up he jumped right in and gave me a hand fixing it while we talked he's been employed with me for 12 years now was doing a phone screen extremely qualified candidate that listed a previous employer as the atlantic ocean i asked what he meant because wtf and he said i was a fisherman for two years and moved around a lot i met a lot of great people and learned a lot but i hated it i didn't get to think through complex problems and i wasn't really helping anyone it's what convinced me to get my phd i didn't want to leave that part of my work history blank and i find that it's better if i bring it up since it's the driving force behind where i am today when from this guy seems weird to dang i have a lot of respect for him in 30 seconds flat you may be my boss but the c will always be me first mistress a friend of mine went for an interview with a big company she had freshly graduated and was terribly nervous however the interview went well and she was selected over other candidates years later during a casual conversation with her interviewer she asked what had made him recruit her you were so nervous and awkward i felt sorry for you came the frank reply this is so wholesome yet so wrong i was hiring engineers right around the time the ussr collapsed this was east coast and there were a lot of russian jews being sponsored on some special visa program but not exactly sure of the timing often those candidates were not at all qualified but there was no way to check work history and they had local help making their resumes look right so an in-depth interview was critical anyway i interviewed one engineer and he seemed competent and after asking him questions i pull out some product sheets to show him what we made at this company one project was a very specialized tool for the semiconductor industry he took one look and said oh yes i designed that tool i was confused but he claimed to have designed this tool which i knew for a fact was designed by my company he then started telling me about one feed mechanism which was very unreliable and how it gave him a lot of problems he really didn't know it by sight it turns out the soviets bought a few years earlier and he was the guy responsible for reverse engineering and copying it i hired him [ __ ] in truth he had a hard time understanding that the soviets were copying everything from the west even though that is exactly what he was doing over there once in a while the subject of a company or technology would come up and how it was developed by intel or whoever and he would say oh yes that is what they told you as if i was the one who had been lied to for years i think it's interesting that the guy didn't differentiate between designing it creating something new and reverse engineering copying someone else's work but it's not trivial to do dude showed up late for the interview hair all disheveled and his white shirt dirty a woman on the interstate had a blowout in front of him and he stopped to change the tyre for her apologized profusely for being late and looking like crap ended up hiring him and he was a great employee his quality character showed throughout his time working for me also had another guy who listed times person of the year 2006 inches on his resume he hired him too times person of the year 2006 i had to google that but hot dang that's corny but still hilarious although i have a distinct feeling this would have been overused around that time not me but a friend went to an interview for a trampoline park i worked at as well the manager that does the interview tries his best to be intimidating despite him being a really relaxed guy he's a big six feet two inches and kinda rounded so it normally works for him five minutes into the interview and he asked do you have any experience with kids my friend says i was a kid once manager started dying he got the job after a decent interview this kid had a great moment of honesty and said look i've made mistakes i'm 28 and i work at a video store and i have a bachelor's in music i realized over a year ago that i needed to get it together i just need someone to give me a shot and they won't be disappointed i appreciated his honesty and offered him the job on the spot one of the most ambitious and hardworking people i ever employed he was quite annoying but nevertheless a good hire my manager told me that i impressed him by asking how many people left his group over the past year and why they left i honestly thought it was going to pee him off the moment i asked and wished i could take it back but since it was only two people i asked him why each of them left he had to explain that one of them was basically someone who hated working there and why they hated working there to me the other guy just moved somewhere closer to home for more money side note my favorite question to ask is what will my day typically be imagine i come in hang up my jacket and sit down at my desk what do i start on and how does the day typically go the main reason i ask this question is so they get an image in their head of me working at their company i feel like it's a good question but that's just my own assumption every summer i usually advertise for a bilingual student of all the applicants only one has sent me a cover letter in both languages i couldn't read it but was impressed at the thought of it it's amazing how just the right amount of ingenuity and effort can make even [Music] the candidate got points for education experience interview skill etc etc there was always five points for receptionist quite simply the receptionist out the front would be able to give a mark out of five guy walks up and says mr smith is expecting me while talking on his phone he is probably getting zero points guy who when called into the interview leaves the waiting room in a mess but is otherwise polite two points etc we once had a candidate get 10 out of 5 bonus points from the receptionist as the guy got out of the lift a staff member got out in front of him and dropped her load of files she was carrying the guy immediately stopped helped her collect everything and helped her tidy stuff up then when he was in the reception waiting area the coffee man came by he comes by every day to see if anyone wants to buy coffee the candidate asked the receptionist what the staff member's name was and arranged for her to be sent a coffee he got the job he also got the girl who he is now married to the most bizarre interview i ever had went like this i sat down to talk to the director and assistant director of the department i wanted to join it was for a radio production job they looked me dead in the eye and asked if this office were on fire and you had to save only one of us who would you save i thought about this for a while asked a few questions about the scenario and gave my answer the director stood up reached behind me on a whiteboard and tallied off another tally mark under her name they had asked every candidate this question and had a competition to see how many random candidates would save them in the fire i got the job by the way interview we hadn't shown up yet my boss and i walked outside so he could smoke and we see this guy who looked like he had been in a fight with a ball mill jogging towards our building carrying a backpack i recognized the guy as i had done his first interview as the interviewee who didn't show long story short when he pulled up for his interview he caught two butt hats cutting the top of the company owner's convertible and stealing his backpack with his computer inside we watched the security footage and hired him got his buddies to help him out with the interview i had a guy come in and when i asked if he had any prior merchandising experience said you know quarter swede i'll be honest with you i've never worked in merchandising i don't even know what merchandising is i've been a mechanic all my life look at my hands i'm a hard worker who just moved here from california looking for a better life for my wife and kids my son was getting into some bad stuff back there and i knew the only way to get him out of it was to move far away over my life i hope you give me a chance to prove myself i'll be the most reliable and hardest worker you've seen i can't afford to let my family down the guy was shaking like a leaf as a father i related to his story and it impressed me at the lengths he went to for his son and family i hired him on that hunch and he was and is still an amazing asset he's only part-time now because he and his wife have been making over six figures year-over-year with their clearance baby clothes and accessories reselling ebay business i'm so proud that he was able to better himself and them it really brings joy into management and is partly why i love it you are a good person thank you for making humanity slightly better new college grad started talking about politics and legal theory for a receptionist job i was the managing attorney at the firm after five minutes i realized that she was more intelligent than i was and was probably going to be way more successful than me i did everything i could to hire her but the firm owner said no because she'd be bored and leave in three months psy i totally had ideas of trying to keep her through law school and use her brain to do all the annoying legal work i guess it wasn't meant to be sounds like a smart boss more than anything my manager had me interview a new incoming engineer by the time he got to me at 1pm for our lunch he had interviewed with six other people engineers managers and vps of the company i told him look you're probably technically qualified but i will let the others decide that my role is now to see if you're sarcastic enough for the team he rolled with an hour of sarcasm jokes and nonsense we hired him that day my actual instructions were to make sure this guy is not too much of in but whole he was by far the nicest guy of the bunch of us i was hiring a summer intern and had two final candidates who had passed phone screens and were coming in for in-person interviews i asked my favorite question what did you do to prepare for this interview candidate a guy who goes to an ivy league school and went to the same prestigious local high school as a few team members who were all pulling for him to get the job said i looked up the company website for any recent news and looked you up on linkedin to make sure i had a good sense of who i was meeting with and what's going on in your world perfectly reasonable and standard answer if a bit boring candidate b girl who goes to no name midwest school said in the phone screen you asked me a question about the future direction of your industry and i didn't feel like i gave a really good answer because i didn't know enough about it so i spent the weekend reading articles to learn more about what's happening now and i feel like i have a better understanding of what you're working on she then went on to amend her answer and explain what she had learned it was clear she wasn't just regurgitating information and had actually spent time thinking about what she read that impressed the heck out of me and i pushed hard to make sure we hired her she was an excellent intern and i am still in touch with her amazing how you have to so far above and beyond just to get unpaid work these days another pizza story kid walks in on my day off to apply for a job one of my drivers grabs a blank sheet of paper and starts asking him questions like the following answers included q do you have your own oven mitts hey i can get some q do you have any bo stuff skills hey i used to play with nunchucks as a kid q what is your favorite dinosaur a little octopus there were a few others that i don't remember but i hired the guy sight unseen for his sense of humor i ended up making him a shift manager and he lasted longer than i did he lasted longer than i did sounds like you got real intimate i once got hired for accidentally saying we instead of you guys when talking about the great customer service microcenter gives we need a microcenter in nc s broly please i will give anything for one one of my staff was doing a rehire interview we work for a residential property he made the entire property in the minecraft and pitched it as part of his presentation yeah we re-hide him i look for whether or not someone can figure out how they would solve a problem rather than if they know the answer to the problem i don't need to hire someone who knows everything already just someone who knows how to figure it out if someone can calmly lay out a plan for figuring out how to solve the problem that will always impress me i'm big on hypotheticals i've had a couple of people ask if they can use my whiteboard and begin diagramming out a solution and you can tell they've done this a million times before i work in a part of i.t where there is a shortage of skilled folks for the amount of rolls open most folks act like they are the smartest person in the room and i need to sell them on my company simply doing research about the company our strengths our culture and being prepared for the interview with a list of questions is unexpected i have received a grand total of 100 and thank you note post interview he got hired pro tip ask your interviewer what they like about the company they work for from the other point of view here's how i got the job that i have now precursor i didn't have a qualifications but had some in kind experience that is i worked as an insurance broker and was applying to be an insurance underwriter these two types of jobs work together anyway i first met with two dad type managers i gave them the impression that i was personable and would get along with my potential business partners but that wasn't enough to seal the deal they asked me why i wanted to work with them and i told them the truth i lived an hour away and was looking for an excuse to move i had recently met a girl who lived close to their office and i was falling for her this was the push that we both needed so that we could be together rather than long distance they were brought and gave me a shot a year and a half later and i'm about to get a promotion we're getting married in a few weeks and we've got a baby on the way i call it a win that seems kind of like when you're writing code and you're looking at some sloppy spaghetti code and you figure out that you can account for a bunch of different edge cases with a very simple function and you absolutely nail what should take 50 lines in a single program just beating the crap out of a whole host of things with one go years ago i was interviewing this young fella for a waiting position i asked him standard question i remember someone asked me once why would you like to work for us because i need money he replied i don't understand why this normally doesn't fly at interviews ha in my teens i was interviewing for a job as a cashier at a gas station the interviewer asked me where i saw myself in 10 years i said not working in a gas station got the job i was hiring a web developer in the early days of the internet to write web applications in perl he said that he loved pearl but in his previous job there wasn't much call for it it was pearl before swine if you will i would i don't get it we were 20 somethings interviewing someone quite a bit older for a technical position so it was already a little awkward and his resume had the usual list of three-letter acronyms which usually inspires me to pick one and ask them to explain it in substantial detail because most of the time it ends up being along the lines of oh i use ftp to download files sometimes so instead he goes into extreme detail on the thing i asked about well beyond what i'd have been able to provide and we were all suitably impressed and asked how he knew so much about it he said oh if you look up rfsc's i you'll find i'm the author i invented that pulled out a banjo and sang all his answers in an appalachian accent hired him as head cashier i later had to let him go hr forced my hand since he exposed himself to a customer's pet dog i do have questions but i don't really want answers i want to giggle like a child at what the train of thought was to expose himself to her dog i was the unorthodox candidate of this scenario trying to get a job in the finance department sat in with the cfo and the director of internal audit both football guys so i was able to talk intelligently about football with them got to the part where we were talking about experience with excel i was fairly proficient and said i use it for fantasy football calculations impressed at the detail and use of formulas pivot tables etc to determine drafting nerdy i know but their college teams were my college team's rival so when they asked if i was a fan clearly they already knew since my alma mater was on the resume i said i hated their team and ranted for a good two or three minutes later found out that i was qualified for the job but what sold them was that i was not an ass kisser and didn't attempt to suck up to them by pretending i was something i wasn't like a fan of their team just to attempt to get the job still working there five years later with a couple of raises biggest lesson i learned that day was that although you might be technically qualified don't pretend to be a person you aren't honesty and being politely blunt is something that people respect just to be clear i wasn't being a dong when i was ranting about college football haha it was friendly banter don't pretend to be a person you aren't honesty and being politely blunt is something that people respect i'd say this depends heavily on the field at hand interviewer so what will you do for this company candidate what will you do for this company interviewer under breath oh crap i'll hire the best candidate back at year candidates did only so so in the design interview then in last five minutes asked if they could show me a project they had worked on over the weekend they had built a full working prototype of our product using a programming language they taught themselves sealed the deal hired a man miserably failed a tech question just could not answer a mundane item he should know based on the resume a few minutes later asked what the answer was because he knew he got it wrong his honesty and curiosity made me hire him anyone working doesn't have to know every detail of their job perfectly you can always google a formula or look up code online takes a really smart person to have that curiosity i'm a graduate assistant in the campus rec field and what a lot of people don't realize is that assistantships in this field are actually quite competitive as i'm finishing up my program this summer we looked this past semester for my replacement and narrowed it down to four final skype interviews the girl who ended up being our final choice was very personable with us at this point in the process all of the candidates were qualified for the position but we wanted someone who'd fit in well and really gel with the office culture we had going so basically we wanted someone who could have a conversation in the interview and not just spout off their bullet points this girl was so easy to talk to and engaging and we ended up having a conversation about our favorite netflix shows her top being parks and rec and the office mine and my supervisor's favorite shows it was tough deciding who to choose but this girl just knocked it out of the park by sending us the best thank you email i think i've ever received in her email she was incredibly sincere and passionate she even quoted leslie knope when referencing her passion and made it very clear that our staff was exactly the kind of people she'd been looking for it was incredibly honest and caring after that email it was an easy decision who to choose this goes along with something a director told me once the best thing you can do in any interview is show that you're a people person and can get along with others you can be the most qualified person out there but no one wants to work with someone they can't get along with had two candidates for a summer intern position to write a simple program for our department a candidate one came from a good school was articulate and impeccably turned out candidate two was less polished and stumbled over a few questions but to the question of what he did in his spare time his eyes lit up and he became more animated as he talked about his side interest in writing apps my co-interviewer and i were unanimous in deciding to hire candidate 2 it was a decade ago both co-interviewer and i have left the company candidate 2 is still there now manager in the i.t department used to manage a bong shop interviewing a college junior italian long island frat lacrosse hockey type guy you probably know the type asked him what he do with his time when there were no customers in the store and he pointed to our flat screen we played movies on mute with music on the stereo and said i'd probably bring in my dragon balls their dvds my response was the right answer was i'd windex the shelves but i'm 100 going to hire you we can call the rest of the interview off i don't know the type in a final interview for a call center agent she said can you show me what the work is like a couple of examples as the interview was over skype and i shared my screen we went over real cases and she was able to say what she would do and how it looks easy and fun one is to love that type of curiosity hiring an entry-level graphic designer web designer ad says literally attitude is more important than experience or education but talent and desire are non-negotiable we're offering 45k to start so not bad at all in this market 400 plus resumes 39th interview me know anything about javascript prospect number but give me three days and let me show you what i can learn hired him on the spot and no regrets also managed to start him at 50k hr didn't want to but man that i'll prove it attitude got to me attitude and talent plus honesty are really hard to find in one package three days later you were blown away by the greatest hello world script you've ever seen in your life i work in retail had a teenager come into my store and ask for an interview for any work experience opportunities it was a bit of a weird question so i pulled him into an office and picked his brain he explained he has no experience and an average educational background just wanted the opportunity to do some work experience gain some knowledge and potentially put it on a cv to leverage a job i hired him straight away based on his attitude and gave him paid shifts starting the following week he ended up being the best employee i had for the two years i worked in that store people who work in human resources what is the weirdest crap you have seen a couple stories i remember from different companies one one gentleman decided to go around their office showing people cp to warn them not to let strangers around their kids two one employee walked in on another employee full-on master baiting in the bathroom the company did not want to fire the masturbating employee number one sounds like the half-baked excuse he came up with when he was caught straight to the police with that one while firing someone and listing off the reasons they were being termed the person goes yeah i mean i did that but you don't have to fire me though i didn't violate a procedure and it doesn't say no sex in our code of conduct exact quote what was he being fired for having sex with a building sec guard in the parking lot of our building and it was all recorded on surveillance tech company guy harrison customer at our own company's project showcase conference customer complained and it went directly to the ceo guy was fired the next day his boss tried to argue it wasn't that big of deal and we shouldn't fire him and tried to leverage himself if he goes then i'll go spoiler they both went my mum once represented a primary school caretaker janitor at a disciplinary meeting he filmed himself freaking his girlfriend on the school premises with the school camera and left the tape in it where it was subsequently found by another member of staff obviously he was immediately suspended and they took the keys to the building off of him so he broke into the school that night to try and get the tape back needless to say he didn't keep the job we had the cashier who refused to work at a certain register because it was enclosed while all the others were open her reason was that one of the sales clerks in the hardware department was waiting for the right moment to murder her and she wanted to be able to have an escape route when it happened how did she know the clerk who she never really interacted with was planning on killing her you can just see it in his eyes she didn't want us to solve her problem with the murderous clerk mind you she just wanted a fighting chance of escape when the inevitable happened that employee's doctor soon took her off work for quite some time to get her meds straight not in hr but hiring manager the candidate made a remark that made me do a double take don't remember exactly what just a small queue that i picked up on i made sure he understood that we will not tolerate any racism at all and he proceeds to rattle off multiple racial slurs to show how he can't be racist if he is comfortable enough to use those words obviously didn't get hired so he proceeded to contact our hr department to complain that i somehow tricked him into saying what he said smh we had a woman who was terrible at her job always off sick never met a deadline anyway protocol was followed because some people had given her half decent staff reviews to get rid of her she called in the union to support her this dragged the process then when she got the final papers she sent them back saying she couldn't be fired she was pregnant this woman was 54 it turned out she had frozen eggs so she defrosted them etc the process proving no discrimination then began six months go by she gets served again we worked at an organization big building in manhattan hence terrible bureaucracy papers come back that isn't me you've sent the documents to turns out she had provided the false passport when hired she was actually in her 60s in the end they gave her early retirement to get it over with amazing how hard some people will work to be lazy hr stole me for a couple weeks after an angry prostitute tried driving through one of our gates looking for anthony she'd met him on a dating site and he owed her 350 and a car for her abortion we didn't have an anthony working there but many of the other details she gave the police in her statement led the company to believe she wasn't totally delusional hr picked on me because my last job before becoming management was it i spent two days walking around to every pc at my location updating proxy settings telling my co-workers that i'd figured out how to make emails faster i felt like an idiot but it worked the next 12 days i watched a squid proxy i nailed anthony on day one but hr kept me at it the company had a guy looking for pictures of animal fesses on plates he claimed it was for a college art project but the man was over 60 and not having the company pay for any courses mixed breed terrier on corel saucer one of the images he looked at officially counts as the weirdest crap i've ever seen com a mixed breed terrier on corel saucer one of the images he looks at officially counts as the weirdest crap i've ever seen this is a guy that's seen a bunch of different shoots so i believe him i'm not in hr but in my first management position i was reported to hr for being too tall i'm a six foot woman an older woman who was probably five feet eight or five feet nine reported me because i tower over people when i talked to them i had my meeting with hr heard her complaint then proceeded to wear platform wed shoes for the next week not in hr but my first real job as an adult i showed up and sat in the parking lot waiting for the hiring manager to show up for over an hour on my first day finally someone else showed up to unlock the door and start my training turns out the manager that hired me had been killed by an alligator over the weekend freaking florida man my wife isn't our manager in her company they had a guy that was repeatedly caught masturbating in the shared bathroom he was repeatedly caught because his sessions included him a moaning out loud b not cleaning up after he was finished yes you read that correctly the trouble was he was a very highly skilled machine operator and had many years of experience on a machine that was critical to their manufacturing process which delivered parts to a very lucrative customer they couldn't fire him and he knew it after being brought into hr several times for the same issue it became clear that he wasn't going to stop he even went directly from a beating with hr to the bathroom for another session my wife tried to fire the guy many times they simply couldn't without bringing their process to a halt missing deadlines and orders and p off their largest customer the end solution they hired a guy right out of trade school explained the situation to him and offered him a huge increase in pay if he could learn this guy's job and eventually replace him it took two plus years made more difficult by the guy figuring out that he was training his replacement somewhere in the middle of the process it worked though and the new kid more than doubled his pay by taking over from this guy the masturbator had the audacity to file for unemployment after he was let go my wife tried to fire the guy many times they simply couldn't without bringing their process to a halt missing deadlines and orders and p off their largest customer the graveyards are full of indispensable men it's never a good idea for any operation to be dependent on one person anyone can suddenly become unavailable for a number of reasons not hr but i worked on the welp desk i was speaking to a guy over the phone one day and asked him to call me back the next day mind you this guy never missed a call fastest hand in the west i didn't get a call back and didn't think much of it dude was probably busy i was checking the ticket cue and saw his name and was like hum trying to pull the fast one and not reply to me and log a ticket i was wrong he died in his sleep i had to disable his account i've never told anyone about this not even the people i worked with but it was really painful to do i sent a so sorry etc email to the team and they replied with thanks and their stories of them i didn't have the heart to reply to them and left them unread with the intention to reply one day i've since left that company and i wish i said my goodbyes to them not hr but i worked on the welp desk welp not hr but i had to fly on short notice to norway to hammer some bugs out of a system at a customer site over a 24-hour period as i was heading back to my hotel for a few hours sleep before my flight home i was asked to redirect to another site across country as one of our engineers had gone missing at some point over the weekend he hadn't turned up at the customer site on saturday night and the three guys he was working with hadn't heard from him i arrived there early on sunday morning and had to do the rounds of the hotel bars embassy hospitals and finally the police station where the dumb crap had gotten himself locked up lied about his identity and was being charged with assaulting charge with assault cue a few hours on the phone to get his room packed up and flights arranged to let the deportation proceed in an orderly fashion he still can't go back there and god knows what the hotel staff must have thought when i rocked up asking for a manager to let me into his room as we didn't know if this bloke had topped himself in the bathtub of tub of tub of tub of fun times i'm not in hr but i did conduct interviews at a previous job literal blood on his resume i think it was from picking a scab rather than a decent wound but 100 handed me a bloody resume someone recently applied for an open job we have in the email address she used to contact us had the display name petty barbie with dem curves lpt create a professional sounding email address for situations like this if you do have a professional sounding email address already don't forget to use it a friend of mine was hiring a gal walks into the interview with a bug that she found outside my friend said during the entire interview she was watching it crawl around on her hands she would talk to the bug when she answered his questions never once making eye contact with him oh man i've been waiting for this one two words dong tag i don't know who started dong tag but it became a very popular game very quickly the whole gist of dong tag was pretty simple you popped out your dong and showed it to another employee whoever saw the dong was it to not be it you had to pop your dong out and show it to someone else i had heard whisperings but people denied that it was a thing and i never witnessed anything so the only thing i could do is to send out an email to remind people of appropriate office behavior until then dong tag continued until one day it was taken too far one of our managers we'll call him kyle was an idiot kyle decided that the best way to welcome a new employee into the company was to induct him into dong tag so while this poor kid was filling out his new higher paperwork kyle pulls down his pants dumps his dog on the table and yells your i.t around the same time as this is happening multiple employees in our parking lot are also playing dong tag our lovely and super sweet accounts payable lady ronnie was walking into work and got caught in the crossfire here is this woman who is super religious and has been with the same man her entire life and clutches her pearls at the sight of a shirtless man and within seconds has this barrage of dongs coming at her first thing in the morning no less ronnie walked into my office like she had seen the devil himself commit kitten genocide but before she even got a chance to explain the new kid walked in after her handed me back the new higher paperwork told me what happened and that this probably wasn't going to be a good fit for him job wise and then left ronnie then launched into her story about the absolute indecency and how she doesn't know if she can even look her husband in the eye after seeing what she saw after soothing ronnie i call kyle up he explains his side the rules of the game and rats out who is playing kyle is then fired that friday a company-wide memo goes out banning dong tag we have multiple training sessions on sexual harassment and i have to tell 50 grown men that it's not okay to take your penis out at work so yeah someone was asked to file the freshly negotiated contracts in context this meant to lodge them with the relevant government authority to be processed someone proceeded to put them in his filing cabinet because he was asked to file contracts it was me 15 years ago i'm someone it's been 15 years they're still in the filing cabinet was recruiting for an entry-level job think an administrator at a call center and i gave a candidate a call to request an in-person interview call went to voicemail and her greeting was her rapping about her luxury business several team members gave her a call that day to hear to the greeting another employee once asked me for his own private room in a shared office space because he farted a lot i've seen a few comments in here from people who weren't necessarily in hr but who were in charge of hiring so i figured i'd share my weirdest story i was conducting an interview with a candidate who had previously worked for five years as a science teacher i work in farmer so i was curious as to why he was leaving his current position and without skipping a beat he started going into the legal troubles he was facing i immediately tried to stop him from going into detail since it could cause legal issues for us particularly if we chose not to hire he pressed on telling me that he was being accused of having an inappropriate relationship with a student and that he was on leave from his current school i had to end the interview and excuse myself from the room i couldn't believe how open he was in telling me that he was allegedly banging an underage student not on hr but a guy that was aiming to get hired in the department that i work and sent his curriculum in the photo that he attached was of him chugging a tonya the most cheap drink you can find and is super trashy if you drink it too much you will go blind and without a t-shirt on filed under outgoing and charismatic i worked with a guy for a couple of years talked to him every day and we got along pretty well he was a smart well-spoken guy and even had a phd in psychology specifically child psychology he had a wife and two young daughters brought girl scout cookies to the office to sell shared pictures from his family vacations talked about movies and music the normal stuff one day he doesn't come to work our hr director gets everybody together to let us know that our co-worker has been arrested by the fbi and declines to go into detail that evening on the local news's picture pops up he was arrested for possession and dissemination of child pornography not weird weird but first gig in hr i worked for a company that had a restaurant attached teenage girl applies for a job at the restaurant we the company invite her to a job interview mom calls completely enraged where we got her daughter's address from she hasn't applied for a job with the company blabla took me 10 minutes to explain to her that restaurant name was part of company name and because her daughter had applied to the restaurant she would be employed by the company a day later getting an application for an office job sales or something related handwritten well okay some people still don't have easily access to computers but it was adorned with glitter stickers and the cover was a hand-drawn butterfly tribal second gig in hr i'm interviewing a guy for a position as security officer cso to be precise and he knows his stuff but he's so freaking full of himself at first when i come in he is on the phone because of a freelance gig and leaves me waiting five minutes then he tells me my name is not modern because the cool girls are not called catherine anymore big caitlyn not my real name but something similar tells me how he had training events with colleagues who can tell me how good he is at his job when i later ask one of the colleagues he tells me what an absolute pose the person was during the training needles to say that he wasn't offered the job i had an employee who used deported john and was attacked by wasps and claimed disability because he couldn't wear pants due to swelling i saw the pics and didn't dare challenge his claim poor guy i used to help out the hr department at a small town law enforcement agency we once had a woman call from a pay phone refused to give her name and ask if she could come in and fill out a paper application for a secretary position in the investigations department we standardly only accepted online applications but she was allegedly in the witness protection program and remarked that if she submitted an online application then an individual who had a hit out for her could track her our hr manager allowed her to come in and i had the honor of sitting down with the two of them before hr gave her an application her story is where things started getting crazy she had 25 years of experience working for a very affluent nfl program where she had been in charge of coordinating player travel over the years she had made a lot of friends with the players and an enemy who just so happens to be a quarterback who has won multiple super bowls he's probably one of the first five quarterbacks that comes to mind if somebody were to ask you who's the greatest quarterback of all time anyways we were a bit doubtful that one of the most famous quarterbacks of all times had a hit for her life but of course we tried to maintain our composure after getting paid out by said quarterback and then enlisting in witness protection she ended up in our small town and wanted to apply for the investigations division department because she was psychic apparently she had used her psychic abilities to uncover some pretty bad dirt on the quarterback which is why he had it out for her and she had moved 500 miles away to escape that life change her name get witness protection and start over when she saw the position in investigations she was confident that her psychic abilities would bring a lot of people to justice the freakiest thing is that i mentioned something like so what is the extent of your psychic abilities and she responded saying well i know you won't be here much longer at the time my husband was in the process of applying for a job in a different state and sure enough we moved away less than three months later i get a laugh out of this because i still don't believe in psychics or anything but that was quite the coincidence anyways we had her fill out an application and then proceeded to run our own background check on her we discovered she was not actually in the witness protection program but she did indeed have 25 years of experience at that nfl team makes me wonder if her truth is somewhere in the middle of all that craziness cemetery keeper admits he buries animals that dying the cemetery in occupied graves police won't investigate as unlikely to be able to convict employer won't tackle as he is old and litigious so someone's nada is currently bunk bedding with a muntjac and apparently that's okay mayo i wonder when archaeologists find graves with animals and conclude they were buried with their pets if it was really something more like this i was an our officer in the army so many great ones one guy gets to our unit asks to take five days leave to marry his fiancee sure get noticed that his wife of nine years who lives 1500 miles away hasn't received money or heard from him they split but never divorced so he didn't have to live in the barracks and would get more money most of which he gave to her two had an officer get a dui had huge drinking problems she was resigning in lieu of elimination she was getting out on a friday but that monday her urinalysis came back hot for c sid calls herren she waves all her rights and confesses to how she didn't mean to do coke but after she got drunk she thought it was a good idea she gave sid and our command everything needed to court martial her she thought if she didn't confess they'd do an investigation and she wouldn't get out on friday turns out the only thing to stop her resignation was a court martial also she was a military police officer three got to put in a soldier's medal the medal is the highest level medal of heroism the military gives out heroism is bravery in a non-combat setting so there's higher valor awards but the soldier's medal is a huge deal short version is the soldier heard screaming and a gun shot next door solder breaks into the apartment unarmed he scares the intruder and the intruder ends up shooting himself turns out it was the ex-husband he had murdered the wife and wife trying to find the two kids who had hid embarging into a gunfight unarmed while incredibly stupid saved their lives at four three soldiers tested positive 4m their strategy was to report in every day at 9 00 pm so they couldn't be marked a wall now awol is instantaneous but stopping pay is 24 absent the commander never thought to ask me what was going on when i found out i stopped their pay not allowed but frick them when their pay stopped they came in to demand justice we had them detained for seven days which gave us all the time needed to separate them they never fully out processed which means they are deserters and had warrants for their arrest almost a year later i got a call from the nearby major cities police department saying they had picked up one of the girls for prostitution and saw we had a warrant so much paperwork five lots of sad ones from divorces to deceased loved ones ruined lives suicides rapes child pee lots of things too personal to share but military hr can be a pretty wild ride lots of sad ones from divorces to deceased loved ones ruined lives suicides rapes child pee lots of things too personal to share but military hr can be a pretty wild ride i don't doubt it pretty awesome story about the guy saving the two kids though what a badass 100 deserve the medal not hr but i was cto at the time for a medical software company one of our sales employees was working late the night before a huge proposal due the next day i get a call at 3am from him saying that the computer with all the sales info had crashed and he needs it unlocked asap i couldn't connect to the computer remotely and had to drive and to work in the middle of the night to fix it turns out the guy had installed a ransomware virus while downloading suspiciously young and possibly under hp he was fired in the morning if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 435,580

Keywords: job interview questions and answers, job interview, job interview tips, job interview questions, job interview funny, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, reddit stories 2021

Id: DyOxeAaUHAg

Length: 193min 41sec (11621 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 21 2021