12 Traits of Narcissistic Women + How To Deal With Them

number one she refuses to respect your boundaries your personal space she is quite often emotionally intellectually verbally and can be physically abusive number two she loves for you to be in any type of pain number three she keeps you from your family and friends number four she talks about herself non-stop number five she plays the victim at every opportunity number six she blames shifts number seven she can't take any type of criticism even if it's loving and constructive number eight she has absolutely no regard for your feelings and lacks empathy for anything in your life number nine she swings between loving you and hating you so she can control you number 10 she's incredibly materialistic both financially and possession wise number 11 she thinks she is envied by both women and men and finally number 12 she withholds sex to control and punish you now let's get into each one of these a little bit more specifically some of the ways she does all of this when it comes to number one respecting boundaries she expects preferential treatment she has access to you and any of your things at any time and you have no access to hers she has no regard for your personal space but demands that you have it for hers she enjoys embarrassing you and then blames you for your behavior and you know I've done other videos on gaslighting techniques that's verbal abuse there's a huge rise in female abusive women and this means not even just narcissists but it is vastly underreported by men because it's so shame based I have my own experience of marrying a narcissist who is both physically and verbally abusive and I will never forget when I called the cops on her and the police showed up and I'm the one who placed the call I'm the one who reported the views and both of the police officers never talked to me they went right to her so there's a huge bias in society that's over protecting abusive women I I'm not here to let men off the hook for their abuse but Society has switched too far in the other direction there are an overwhelming amount of verbally abusive women on this planet it has become commonplace and okay for women to denigrate and belittle men just look at the look at all movies all sitcoms and all commercials 40 years ago men belittled women and all of those think of Archie Bunker well now look at every show out there the man is an idiot he's stupid and the woman shames him and blames him and belittles them and this is the new societal Norm instead of help you know we helped men become less abusive but unfortunately we trained women to become abusive to men and we're not dealing with that topic and so there are a lot of physically and verbally abusive women out there and it is societally acceptable look at every TV commercial the man is the idiot and buffoon the woman is the expert so that we are breeding narcissism and physically and and verbally abusive women with this new Dynamic it is destructive to all of us it should be called out on both sides not just one and it's now reaching the levels where it's becoming equal where both men and women are equally abusive and I believe that needs to be addressed and talked about openly and honestly we've gone too far in the direction of protecting women and to the point where now it's okay for them to be abusive I know that's controversial but look at it it's true and I'm all about truth and responsibility both men and women need to be responsible for these behaviors number two she loves for you to be in pain this happens by belittling your accomplishments or even taking credit for them she puts you down at every opportunity she always seeks to make you inferior um and this is a good one she'll smile and laugh at your pain I remember that that was my first wife she just loved it enjoyed every minute of it number three she keeps you from your family and friends this is how she sets up double binds there's always a choice like that's what my ex did it it wasn't it was so manipulative and I was so uneducated and so underdeveloped as a man um that it was easy to do to me and I'm responsible I want you to hear this when I talk about my ex-wife I'm responsible it's because of my lack of Education around relationships my own childhood trauma that I picked a woman like this I do I it is every person's responsibility for who to take ownership of who they pick we are not always the victim we choose these people we play an equal part and if we are not willing to live in that truth and that responsibility we will be stuck in a Purgatory of pain so whenever I talk about you know the narcissistic women in my life that tells you about me two and my lack of development and what I how I needed to grow so um but mine would set up a double bind where she'd go well I don't know you know if you do that we might not be able to stay together do you see how manipulative that is it's not telling me I shouldn't do it but it's laying the threat that she'll leave unless I choose it now had I been more developed I would have gone oh that's interesting hmm I wouldn't have tolerated that type of double bind manipulation all right so the other way she keeps you from your family and friends is she belittles them disparages them and convinces you that you don't need them or that they are bad for you number four she talks about herself non-stop man have I seen this in the dating world I go on dates and just sit there and they just go off and if you try and say oh they just talk right over you they just have no I've had conversations for three hours where a woman didn't even ask me a single question it's what they used to complain about men you know that men would just talk non-stop well we've trained women to do that so um every topic needs to be about her and come back to her um she's grandiose in her achievements and her abilities she demands that you see her as above everyone else and is more valuable number five she plays the victim in every situation her struggles are always bigger than anyone else's even yours she doesn't even want to hear about yours she uses your problems against you as though you're victimizing her with your pain and your frustrations um she then uses those against you in that blame shifting that now you've made her life worse she's now more victimized by having to listen to you and your problems and then that sends her into the blame shifting she never takes responsibility for anything in her life everyone else is always the problem she has an excuse for everything will not admit mistakes all mistakes are Justified and blamed for others again just watch podcasts it is incredibly rare to watch a woman take ownership they always spin out of it it's like watching politicians debate and please I'm not here to disparage women but we're creating a dynamic in women that's very toxic and this is one of the it's the biggest reason I'm single because I think you can tell by my channel I'm always taking ownership of how imperfect I am to find a woman that can do that is almost impossible almost immediately they're defensive they blame shift they shift the topic that getting a woman to take responsibility and I'm serious just go watch podcasts and you'll see it it is rampant it is the incredibly rare woman that takes responsibility for a part in her life especially when it comes to relationships the other aspect to constructive criticism is she quickly defends and overreacts and dumps her shame into you and projects her faults onto you as your fault now number eight she has no regard for your feelings no empathy or interest if you're sick or hurt she turns it into how she's burdened by your illness or hurts um and then she becomes physically emotionally and intellectually distant to your needs and desires any request you make is met with dismissiveness derision anger and how you and then you be she guilts you for wanting anything from you from her number nine she swings between loving you and hating you uh she addicts you initially intellectually emotionally and primarily sexually and to trap you and then pulls the rug right up from under your underneath your feet once you're hooked she pulls it out um if she ever feels you slipping away she turns it back on but it's always this push-pull Dynamic and it's primarily using her body her looks um her sexuality um to keep you in that love hate Dynamic number 10 she's materialistic I'm telling you like you see it all over dating profiles women just blatantly say you know you need to buy me something to take me on a date like you got to spend money on me it's all about materialism they have no respect for a man they demand um all of these perks and if you you know ask for any type of mutuality it's like no you got to prove yourself to me you what are you buying me what do you pay you can pay my bills but I also need to be free and no responsibility you know I don't have to take I got to be out with my girls and I got to work and I have all these responsibilities and if I have anything left over I'll give a little bit to you but you better be paying my bills and you better be buying me stuff and taking me out all the time it's uh again this is being com becoming common in non-narcissistic women it's just the new cultural message the demands that women the unrealistic and immature demands women are placing on men so um she's weathered directly or indirectly she sees a man as a sugar daddy it's all about the money and Gifts when the money dries up her interest dries up and she moves on as no you're you're just a piggy bank in most cases you won't even get a chance with her and like that's the first thing out of her mouth is I need a man who provides you know if she goes off and does whatever she wants doesn't invest in the relationship it's all about providing you know so she uses the characteristics of traditional relationships of a man providing but doesn't recognize there's you know equal there are different roles men and women play so she wants to drop the part where she played and takes the entitlement role but demands you know will shame men for being patriarchal and misogynistic but then demand they provide like a patriarchal misogynist man so the again the double bind and The Duality through all of this is consistent um she needs the external validation that comes from the materialistic gifts and things because she has no internal value um and your value to her is based on what you can provide financially and materially number 11 she thinks she's envied you can't keep friends because of this because she belittles them the only friend she can have are foot soldiers you know basically people she abuses um and so she's constantly complaining how she can't have any friends well that's because of her own behavior but she can't hear constructive criticism because everyone else is the fault as it is at fault so inner communication she's always expressing how Superior she is and Superior to both men and women and that's why she can't sustain relationships and has that sense of envy finally number 12 this is oh this is a common Dynamic for women in general they withhold sex to control and punish this is a woman's greatest weapon in any relationship and women use this very well um but with a narcissistic woman she's she draws you in with her looks her body and her sexuality to entice you and control you for her sex is a commodity it must be paid for financially emotionally and intellectually at your expense and your detriment it is a privilege not a right it can be turned on and off at a whim for any reason whether valid or invalid it is used like a yo-yo to keep you hooked or it's completely withheld now in my experience with two narcissists um in the first one we look I'll just be frank in 12 years we had 10 instances of intimacy or wait 10 years 12 instances of intimacy an instance of intimacy would be any kind words any physical touch like a hug or holding hands or anything like that or any type of a sexual act 12. the last instance of intimacy was two and a half years before the divorce we're getting ready to go to dinner I was standing by the front door of this mirror and she said your butt looks good in those jeans that was the last moment of intimacy in our relationship yet the whole time she kept saying well you know there's this problem this problem this problem that's why we can't be sexual so here's they you know here is many times they're hypersexual but they can be so uh sexual anorexics and so you're they're constantly setting a bar well if you become this as a person or do this or if you hadn't have done that we could be sexual so you are always to blame for why there isn't any um sex in the relationship that's what happened in my first marriage is and again that's a reflection of me um and my lack of development as to why I pick someone like that and it's very simple I woke up at 10 years old found my mom passed out naked on the toilet boom that's what's called covert sexual abuse I repeatedly would walk in from school find my mom naked on the floor passed out covert sexual abuse um my mom um leered at me my mom thought I was very attractive but it was sexualized in the way she would compliment me like it made my skin crawl um my parents bedroom was right next to mine they'd wake me up on Saturday mornings by the sound of the bed and then I'd walk out and my mom would be in a nightgown and staggering drunk could barely walk and so I had all of these covert sexual abuse issues in my childhood well I hadn't worked that out of course I'd pick a Woman Who Wasn't capable of sex so I could play the victim and blame her like I'm not condoning her trauma history which made it made her a narcissist and made her incapable of sexual intimacy but we picked these people and unless you do the deep healing trauma work and investigation in your childhood and you play the victim and blame them then you're you're you're living a lost life you're not in truth you're not in reality and you're not taking personal accountability and responsibility the part I played was I didn't know how much childhood trauma affected all of our choices and who we become and who we pick but thank God I love that woman because because that relationship was so abusive I went and became an expert and did the healing work and so now I can take ownership of my side and that I played I once you learn how the brain and body works and the science of Attraction and relationships you recognize wow we don't end up with this person unless our childhood created the attraction and so she's not responsible for that so now the other side of it after that one I picked the hypersexual one um of course got to live in extremes Kenny that's just you know my childhood was filled with extreme so of course I had to do it and she was the exact opposite um anything and everything was on the table and it was um pure chaos in that department but it was also manipulatively used and once we moved in together we used to talk about it for years like I'll never forget I saw the change in her and I remember that night we spent hours I was like what just happened she's like I know and for years we'd talk about it there was this withdrawal and she could never well she came back right before we separated she got really scared with something in her life and that look and Magic that Drew me in in the beginning popped out and it was right in the moment I'm like oh my god there it is where's it been and it was just that one night it was gone forever and just after that we separated and then eventually divorced so that's a couple of ways that they use it and they're your 12 common things to look for I urge you if you're in this situation and especially men I know it's incredibly shaming to admit that you're with an abusive woman I know that society and the police and the judicial system is slanted against us um I'm not and I don't want to hear any comments about men we've done a great job of holding men accountable but it's time we hold women accountable too both sides can be abusive all sides are perfectly imperfect and so men if you're listening to this don't let them do this file a report stand up for yourself videotape their actions take care of yourself fight for you nobody deserves to be hit nobody deserves to be verbally abused intellectually abused emotionally abused and manipulated in all of these ways it does not make you less of a man being vulnerable speaking truth and taking responsibility is the definition of a man live in truth seek out for and get help and confront this person and report them and take responsibility for the part you played in picking someone like this do the healing work and get your life back you deserve it we all deserve it

Channel: Kenny Weiss

Views: 110,165

Keywords: Kenny Weiss, Emotional Mastery, your journey to success, life coach, Trauma recovery, worst day cycle, Arizona counselor, Narcissist Relationships, codependency, Best Life Coach in Arizona, mental health, the greatness university, Transform Toxic Relationships, Transformational Coaching, Self Love, Your Journey to Success: How to Accept the Answers You Discover Along the Way, Relationship Advice, 12, 12 traits, 12 traits of a narcissistic woman, narcissistic women, women

Id: q4jJ0lRgp9A

Length: 19min 51sec (1191 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 28 2023