(bright acoustic music) - [Amanda] Hello, Psych2Goers, and welcome back to our channel. We wanted to let you know that it is your ongoing support that helps us make
psychology and mental health more accessible to everyone. Thank you so very much
for all of your support. Now, let's continue. Why do relationships fall apart? Relationships are complicated
as they are fragile. Small mistakes can destroy years
of love, passion and trust, but you may not realize
what you're doing wrong. So here are 10 behaviors that
can damage any relationship and may be affecting yours too. Number one, you stonewall your partner. Do you avoid difficult
questions and conversations? This bad habit is called stonewalling. When you stonewall your partner, you're actively avoiding
painful or emotional subjects, but those subjects are important to the health of your relationship. By avoiding difficult conversations, you're harboring unresolved
issues with your partner. It's okay to table a hard
conversation every once in awhile but ignoring an issue
doesn't make it go away. Number two, you're too distracted. Do you give your partner
your undivided attention? Do you text other people
when you're together? Never underestimate the
value of quality time. When you're together, your
partner wants to feel important. They need to know that you
enjoy spending time with them. But if you're distracted, your partner may feel
ignored or neglected, and your relationship may suffer. Number three, you get defensive. Few things are as
important as communication. But what if your partner
tells you something you don't wanna hear? Your partner may, for example, think they're doing all the
work in your relationship. No one likes to hear negative feedback. So how should you react when your partner tells
you something is wrong? Defensiveness can be
destructive to any relationship. When you become defensive, you stop listening to
your partner's concerns. Instead, you try to protect yourself. You may argue with them or turn
the tables on your partner, either way, you're
ignoring the real problem and your partner doesn't feel heard. Number four, you criticize too often. How often do you criticize your partner? Even if you mean well, critical behavior can drive
a wedge in your relationship. Not only is it frustrating
for your partner, excess criticism also
creates a negative dynamic in your relationship. You lose track of why
you love your partner because you're too
focused on their mistakes. Number five, you idealize your partner. Do you put your partner on a pedestal? You love your partner, so you may hold them to a high standard, but idealizing your partner
can damage your relationship. When you idealize your partner, you're projecting your
own preferences onto them. You love your partner for
the person they could be not who they actually are. Number six, you ignore your past. No one is perfect. Every relationship has
bumps and rough patches, but ignoring your troubled past could destroy your relationship. Your history, good and bad, is the reason you are where you are today. It has shaped the way you
feel about your partner and the way your partner feels about you. By ignoring your past, you're overlooking significant
moments in your relationship and rejecting the struggles your relationship has yet to overcome. Number seven, you mislead your partner. Have you ever told your partner
something you didn't mean? Deception can easily
destroy a relationship. Lies and manipulation ruin
the most important thing you and your partner have
built together, trust. When you stop being honest, you give your partner
a reason to doubt you. Honesty isn't always easy and some things are better left unsaid, but you should never try
to deceive your partner, no matter what, this kind of behavior will
destroy your relationship. Number eight, you create competition. In a healthy relationship,
partners don't keep score. They don't care who's
right and who's wrong because competition creates
tension, stress and resentment. If you're always trying to
prove your partner wrong, sooner or later, you're
going to drive them away. Instead, by finding a solution that makes both of you happy
and learning how to compromise, you can create a healthier
relationship in the long run. Number nine, you shame your partner. Do you pick on your partner? Many couples playfully
tease each other in private. But making fun of your partner in public can damage your relationship. Instead of a playful back and forth, you're openly shaming your
partner for their mistakes and placing them in a very
uncomfortable situation. And number 10, you expect too much. Do you get angry when your
partner can't read your mind? You expect your partner
to know what you want and what you're thinking all the time, but that's entirely unfair to them. It's your responsibility to
vocalize the things you want. If you don't express yourself, your partner will never
know anything is wrong. If you expect your
partner to magically know all the answers, your relationship
may slowly fall apart. Do you struggle with any of
these destructive behaviors? Has your partner done things that have damaged your relationship? Tell us about your experiences in the comment section below. Don't forget to click the like button and subscribe to Psych2Go
for more psychology content, and as always, thanks for watching.
