08.Being Godly Husband And Wives - Zac Poonen

you we want to talk today about building a godly home there was not much emphasis on the home in the Old Covenant you don't treat instructions there about much about husbands and wives how they had to relate to each other a few instructions on how to bring up children but the testimony of the home is not was not considered a very important thing under the Old Covenant it was the total testimony of the nation of Israel and all that God said was he wanted godly children but once we move into the New Covenant there's a tremendous emphasis on the home Jesus very often went to homes and the most wonderful example of all it says in Ephesians 5 that the relationship between Christ and the church is to be demonstrated in homes do you know that as husband and wife you're supposed to demonstrate to the world around you the relationship between Christ and the church that's in Ephesians chapter 5 you know that passage very well verse 23 onwards how a husband must relate to his wife exactly like Christ relates to the church and how a wife must relate to her husband exactly like the church relates to Christ and there's a lot of misunderstanding here a lot of false understanding you know I went to many many churches in my life and throughout all these places and many different churches in India that I attended never once in all my life in all those churches did I did I attend a meeting where the meeting was for husbands and wives and parents instructing them in our churches it's become a regular feature in every conference to have meetings for husbands and wives some of you who have only grown up in the church take a hundred and one things for granted you know many times I wish that children who have grown up in our church would go outside and be in another church for two years they'll come back with such fantastic gratitude even some grown-up people here they need once in a while to go for two years somewhere else sometimes when I've had to discipline somebody in this church in past years I've told them stay away from the church for two months and they've realized what they've missed two months is enough we must never take the church and all that we receive in the church for granted as though we deserve these things God has revealed to us some of the greatest truths that in most other churches they never hear they are missing messages concerning the Christian home and if you take it lightly I want to tell you you're going to be the loser it's the ones who are really grateful and thankful for the church who build the best homes and if you're not building a good home begin to ask yourself are you thankful for the church do you teach your children to be thankful for the church all of us want our children to grow up well sure that doesn't mean anything even the godless people in the world want their children to grow up well that doesn't mean you're a godly person but when you don't criticize people in your home when you don't criticize other members of the church in your home but seek to teach your children to value then that's the way your children will grow out if they sense and there you don't have to speak anything you know children I've got a sense to pick up what their parents feel and I've seen that through the years here two different people some who are still here and some who have left at least in Bangalore I've seen why some children in the days when they were in in their home do not develop the way they should because they sensed something in their parents of a critical attitude towards either the elders of the church or some people in the church and you may have said nothing the children picked it up who is the loser not the church you aren't you the loser when your children are not wholehearted disciples he said God's will that any of our children should be half-hearted is it God's will that any of our children should be unconverted no if they are my dear brothers and sisters be like the thief on the cross and say I am to blame don't blame it on circumstances and situations other things you perhaps have been critical judgmental either both husband and wife or one of them now I'll tell you something every situation can be redeemed that's the good news whatever your failure may be in the past it can be resolved and solved but only if you first acknowledge your iniquity if you try to cover it up you know there are some people who do something wrong to you and they'll never come and apologize they'll come to you and say oh hello everything is nice the act as if nothing is wrong such people have never settled the matter because they never apologized for the wrong they did and just because they act nice and the other person is gracious enough to act nice to you doesn't mean it's settled a hundred years later when you stand at the judgment seat of Christ it'll come up so you never apologize oh but we behaved nicely yeah yeah yeah but you never apologize for the wrong you did acknowledge your iniquity just because somebody else is gracious enough to overlook and forgive you doesn't mean that everything is okay God helps us when he sees that we humble ourselves like the thief on the cross and say I am to blame otherwise like Adam we cover it all up and pretend that everything is okay I just want to say those words an introduction because that was a problem with our forefather Adam he couldn't take the blame for his own sin Jesus on the other hand took the blame for the sins of the whole world be like Jesus not like Adam that's one of the fundamental principles of a marriage if you're a father and you made a mistake tell your children I'm sorry for what I did that was my mistake and submission is something that begins with God and so the relationship you know many in our we are in some parts of our Bible are torn out because of we are influenced by our culture so we want to think of her the husband and the wife and children these are three things we want to think about the first law of God or principle of God in marriage is the one commandment in the Bible that is written before sin came into the world you know when sin came into the world as Genesis chapter 3 but there's only one commandment in the Bible only one given before sin came into the world and that's not the commandment to Adam because that doesn't apply to us there's another commandment for us the only commandment in the Bible before sin came into the world and that commandment is in the Genesis 2:24 which says a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh and that was written at a time when Adam did not have a father and mother so who was written for it wasn't written for Adam it was written for us therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife and in Psalm 45 and verse 10 it says listen o daughter to the wife give attention forget your people in your father's house so will your bridegroom the king desire your beauty so there's a word for men and there's a word for women forget your father's house that doesn't mean don't care for your parents it means forget your attachment to them now it doesn't mean a husband should not care for his parents it means you should leave them emotionally be attached to your wife when it says to the wife forget your father's house it doesn't mean you don't care for them it means you're now not attached to them you're attached here you know I'll tell you this if you don't obey God's laws you you're going to not have a proper foundation for your marriage and a lot of unhappy homes in India particularly are because people don't obey this law in in Western countries they leave their father and mother pretty early long before they are married but they have other problems which cause divorce there now we come to later but in India one of the first problems is that when people get married there's very little attachment to one another it's probably because a lot of marriages are arranged but arranged are not arranged once you're married you your wife must be first not your parents your parents may have more wisdom and it's nothing wrong in consulting them but decisions must be taken between you and your wife between you and your husband and you have to say now I'm if you don't start day one from day one like that now I'm not attached to my parents I love them I care for them if they are in need I'll help them and if they are in financial need you must send them money they've took care of you when you we're in financial need as a baby and as a student it's absolutely righteous for you to take care of them and they are old and they are in financial need sure but other than that your attachment must not be to them your attachment must be to your wife and sisters if you're married your attachment must be to your husband now you can listen to this but do you see a lack in your own life do you feel that you've not done that so far you feel that your wife feels that you're more attached to your husband's than to her does your husband feel that you're more attached to your parents sisters than to him how did they sense that they sense that you can fear it again oh no no I'm attached to you but it's not a question of theory it's a question of an actual practice is your husband first in your thinking is your wife first it must be like that in human relationships and the reason why it's not like that let me tell you this the reason why it is not like that is because most even Christians in India do not fear God enough to obey his laws when I got married the reason I decided that I'd be emotionally attached to my wife more than my parents was because I feared God and I respected his laws and I want to say I've been married 38 years and I'm very happily married you obey God's laws it only goes well with you there's a verse in the Old Testament I think is Deuteronomy 4 which says God says oh oh can you imagine God saying oh oh that my people would keep my laws so that it can go well with them it's the cry of a father seeing his children mess up their life and saying I wish they would listen to me I wish they would know that I as God who ordained marriage know better than them what is good for them that there won't be so stupid to think that they know better than me when I tell them leave father and mother it's for their good when I tell them forget your father's house it's for that good but they are so stupid and proud they think they know better than me God says oh I feel sad for them because I know they're going to mess up their life and once you've messed up your life it's so difficult to restore it there's a saying in the world prevention is better than cure so always better to prevent something than after creating a mess to try and solve it so right from the beginning those of you who are newly married are extremely lucky to hear these things from day one be attached to your wife be attached to your husband more than to your relatives by all means care for them help them but remember Jesus for thirty years he was at home and one day he left home it was like getting married to his father now and then when his mother came in the marriage of Cana he said woman what have I got to do with you his mother was absolutely shocked is this the one who always said yes mommy yes mommy yes mommy for 30 years now turning around and saying woman what have I to do with you Jesus is our example you can't be more spiritual than Jesus put God first you'll have a very happy marriage if you obey his laws in in Genesis chapter one before Genesis Genesis you have to do the earlier part of Genesis chapter 2 you see that God made Adam and Eve separately he could have made them together he could have made two lumps of mud made two man and woman and breathed into both of them immediately they see each other why didn't he do it like that he made Adam all alone and you know he made Eve some hours later because Adam after he was made he had to name all the animals and birds and can you imagine how long that took I mean he must have done at a pretty high speed because he was such an intelligent man but still it took some hours it's only after that that Eve was created so during those hours when Adam was alone without a wife who did he have holy God and God was trying to tell Adam you know your number-one necessity in life is me I'm your number-one necessity never forget that and value me more than your wife and that's important and then your some hours later he made Eve and she was also alone with him with God for some time before God took her to Adam and said she never even knew there's such a person called Adam so the lesson we learned from that is God wants to have a personal relationship with you the first thing in the morning he wants to meet with you before you meet your wife first thing in the morning sisters he wants to meet with you before you meet your husband not just as in terms of time but in terms of priorities more important that in my priority God is first then my husband then my wife then parents relatives after that so it's all a question of priority you know we don't put the roof underneath than the foundation on top don't do that it'll be an upside-down house and many homes are upside-down because God is not on top God is in some corner parents are on top in between other husband and wife it's all upside down in our homes in many many homes but then you'll have an upside down relationship but if you follow God's laws of building the home it's like building a house put the foundation underneath and the roof on top so put priorities put that which is most important and you have to leave before you can cleave and if the leaving of parents is improper the cleaving will also be improper remember that if you made a mistake in the past now is the time to rectify it it's not too late you can start now and say well I want Jesus to be between me and my husband me and my wife and I want to have a very happy relationship I also want to say this now I want to say something about the leadership of the head the husband is the head of the wife we need to understand how that is like someone has said God took Eve from a rib from Adams side not from his head not from a bone in his head to rule over him not from a bone in his feet so that he rules over her but from a rib from his side though that so that she will be close to his side close to his heart equal to him and yet he is the head how is he the head please turn to 1 Corinthians chapter 11 if you want to understand the headship of the husband you have got to get rid of Indian culture from your mind and I'll tell you that is much more difficult than you think it's not easy to get rid of our culture we have a lot of influence of our culture in our thinking and I tell you that's what will destroy your marriage maybe you've seen your parents how they're related to each other please don't follow them one of the great areas where I tell our generation of people not to follow your parents is particularly in the way you bring up your children most of you will have to say your dad was not your friend he was a person to be respected and revered at home but not your friend not one with whom you could joke and laugh and with whom you could talk about sexual matters and all that how many of you can say you talked to your dad about sexual matters and laughed and joked with them maybe laughed and joked with some of your dads but sexual matters you don't talk to them to whom do you talk about sexual matters to your dirty friends in college don't continue that into the next generation parents must be friends to that children if their children have sexual problems they should talk to you that's how God intended it that's one example of culture we have a culture which has not taught us how father and son should be fathers don't put their arms around their son after they are a certain age they put them around their one-year-old two-year-old and all that but once did I'll put my arms around my son even if they're 60 years old why not I'm not an Indian I'll tell you that I'm an Indian second I'm a Christian first I'll get rid of I'm not Western no I'm an Indian but I'm an Indian second I'm a Christian first and I've got rid of everything in my culture which is contrary to Scripture and that's why my personal life is happy my ministry is happy my home is happy I'm happy with my children my children are happy with me because I got rid of everything that's contrary to God's Word I believe there are many of you who are not willing to give up your cultural attitudes you want to please your relative please your parents brother forget about being a Christian then Jesus said if you want to follow me you got to hate father mother brother sister and all those things forget it okay 1 Corinthians 11 it says I want you to know this verse 3 here is the principle of headship how is the husband the head of the wife Christ is the head of a man man is the head of a woman and God is the head of Christ ok the husband is the head of the wife from this verse like the father is the head of Christ got it husbands listen carefully you must relate to your wife exactly like the father relates to Jesus Christ since there in that verse are the father and the son equal yes or no why are you husband so quiet because you know I what's the next question I'm going to ask you are the father and son equal are you and your wife equal are you and your wife equal you see how powerful culture is it doesn't come out of your mouth it's stuck somewhere in the throat you know it is the truth but you won't acknowledge it she's not inferior to you if you say that your wife is inferior to you you are a job as witness saying that Jesus was inferior to God the Father you are in the same condition it's serious it's very serious many of you I know treat your wives like an inferior sad person who's supposed to do all the dirty jobs and you're supposed to be the Maharajah sitting there that's not Christianity can you imagine God sitting as a Maharajah and making Jesus do all the dirty jobs no that's exactly next time you think of how you ought to relate to your wife think of the father treating the son don't they think of some dictator in the world how he treats the subjects that's a heathen concept as God is the head of Christ the man is the head of the woman and not only that this is in 1 Corinthians 11 relates to the church do you know the tremendous power of heathen culture in the church where women are treated as inferior the Brethren assemblies they don't allow the women to pray somebody said that's because the church is the only place they can keep their women quiet so they don't even don't allow them to talk there do you believe in the church women are equal to men brothers will you practice it in your churches the rest of you get rid of brethren culture get rid of in heathen culture as God is the head of Christ man is the head of woman this is 1 Corinthians 11 and he goes on to say further down I'm giving you these instructions about how to do things in the church verse 16 onwards he's talking about the church he's talking about the breaking of bread the railing of the head it's all for the church man is the head of the woman in the church just like God is the head of Christ what place does Jesus have in heaven is he kicked into some corner in some servants quarters is he totally shut his mouth and sit quietly why do so many brothers make their make sister shuttle more than sit quietly they had they are influenced by culture not by the Bible they think oh we follow the Bible rubbish you follow Indian culture say that you follow brethren culture and do you know how much our churches have suffered because of that many of our young sisters have gone astray because older sisters were suppressed in your churches and you brothers are guilty of that and you are answerable to God repent it's like God pushing Christ into a corner and say we don't want you to open your mouth here and you haven't realized the seriousness of your sin because you haven't read the Bible you were influenced by Indian culture and brethren culture who is suffering the young girls in your assembly are suffering women who could have been reached in your area are suffering because you kept them out shut they can't do anything because you the great Maharaja wanted to rule please humble yourself obey the Word of God what is headship then was the father the head of Christ absolutely God's Word says so Jesus voluntarily chose to submit to the Father it doesn't mean he kept his mouth shut was speaking all the time but he was submissive and so must a woman be submissive in the New Testament acts 2:17 is very clear that your sons and daughters will both prophesy God wants men and women to open their mouths and encourage and bless other people in the church and we need to see that much more it's a battle you know when you try to get out of an old habit that you practice for 20 years it may take a long time to get out of it and some of you may try 4 to 3 months and give up and switch back to Indian culture and brethren and culture you'll destroy your church you limit your church your children will suffer mark my words encourage your sisters to be filled with the Holy Spirit and to prophesy according to the New Testament don't lead them back into the Old Covenant this is one of the missing messages in our churches forget the missing messages in the rest of Christianity this is the missing thing in our churches we need to hear that and needs to start at home where the women are treated as equals at the same time the husband is still the head just like Jesus is my head not only like the father and Christ but it also says like Christ and man there are two pictures here God is the head of Christ 1 Corinthians 11:3 and Christ is the head of man man is they had a woman in other words my relationship with my wife is dependent on my accepting the headship of Christ in my life if I ask my wife to do something which the Bible tells her not to do for example tell a lie please tell a lie here she has every right to say no darling I won't do that because your head is Christ its Christ who has appointed you as head of the woman and you tell your wife to do something which Christ forbids she goes directly to Christ and says sorry I don't do it if your husband is a non-christian who tells you to worship an idol you go to Christ and say sorry I don't do that remember that the husband is not the ruler universe sorry I'm sorry to disappoint some of your husband but you got to recognize that fact Christ is the one who's got all authority in heaven and earth not you and if you wonder why your wife is not subject to you ask yourself whether you are subject to Christ you want your wife to be totally obedient to you ask yourself are you totally your being into Christ first you order your wife around I hope you obey Christ others in your own life we are such evil people we want other people to obey us what we don't obey the authority over us I want to ask you brothers who got elders in your church do you obey your elders do you respect them no no wonder your wife is the head of your house you are not subject to any authority yourself I've seen homes in our churches it is crystal clear to me that the wife is the head of that home the husband is a meek man just does what his wife Jezebel says we have a number of Jezebel's in our churches it's very sad they don't realize they are destroying the effectiveness of their home for God I won't tell you sisters if you try to boss your wife your name is Jezebel yeah and your husband will be absolutely within his right to call you darling Jezebel at least from today onwards I give all a few brothers the authority to call your wife Jezebel if she runs your home cry I don't run Christ's home I'll tell you that I do not run Christ's life he runs my life because he's my head and when a woman tries to run her husband's life it's like me trying to run Christ's life they say Lord you are you you better listen to me who do you think you are can you imagine you talking to Jesus like that who do you think you are when a woman talks to her husband like that that's it can you imagine the stupidity and the evil of that but let me say what does it mean for a husband to be the head it's not being a dictator it's recognizing your husband wife as an equal it's something to Christ as your head think of all this first before you decide to be the head of your home and like Jesus leads the church from the front Jesus said I'm a shepherd not a hireling the husband must lead the wife from the front if your wife loses her temper gets angry don't shout at her and say why are you getting angry that is like a hireling whipping her from the back no go in front and be a shepherd and show by your life how you never get angry and say follow me not with words but by your example Jesus never says come on move on he doesn't kick us from the back the Good Shepherd goes in front of the Sheep a good husband must follow Christ's example and be the leader in the home go ahead be an example if you want your home to be tidy you be tidy first don't tell your wife to do this that in the other I mean there may be gifts you don't have like cooking you can't cook okay but you must be an example in character I'm not talking about gifts of keeping accounts or cooking like that I'm talking about character you must be an example to your wife by going ahead as a shepherd and she follows that's the type of headship where she can see your example and follow it in meekness and humility yet holding authority jesus was the humblest person that walked on the face of the earth but boy he was the head of his disciples there was no doubt about that if you saw the crowd of those 13 people sitting in some hillside in Galilee Jesus and his 12 disciples you walked into that crowd not knowing who they are in five seconds you would know who's the leader you know that some churches who talk about the body of Christ they say well you come to our church you don't know who's the leader well there's something wrong with your church then in a in a true Christian Church you recognize to whom God has given leadership the elders are the leaders they are appointed by God as overseers and the Bible says in Hebrews 13:17 you got to submit to your leaders so people who artificially try to build a body saying Oh anybody everybody does everything they're like that's not the church that's a confusion and a chaos so the husband must be the leader of the house if P person comes to your house they must know that the husband is the head and it's wrong for a wife to do all the talking I'll never forget many years ago I went to a home and we sat i sat there for about 1 hour 60 minutes husband and wife were both believers the wife spoke for about 54 minutes I spoke about 4 minutes and the husband spoke 2 minutes we didn't gossip talking good things but she did all the talking we did all the listening I never said anything because I don't judge people they don't have light that newly come to the church I went to the same house years later it was exactly the opposite that wife had learned to listen that is the power of the teaching in the church she became a much better woman did she sin earlier no she didn't have like I hope you get light you know to be they're not saying you shouldn't talk but when people come to your home let them recognize who is the head it's very very important who is the Shepherd in this home who is the head in the zone who's the leader and the best persons to ask are your children father is going ask your children son tell me honestly what do you think is a head of the home and don't be afraid I won't get I won't spank you if you tell me the truth you may get a surprise if you let them speak the truth they'll say daddy you're a nice person but I think you let mommy run the home that's sad your home will not be a Christian home be the Shepherd be the leader like Jesus Christ not a dictator then the head as a head the Bible says is like the head of the body the head recognizes listen to this very carefully husbands the head recognizes its helplessness without the body can the head do anything if it doesn't ever hand doesn't have eyes doesn't have ears head means the brain by the way can the brain do anything without eyes without hands without legs without nothing what's yours just sitting a brain by itself over there you can put it in a museum are you that type of head you don't care for hands legs eyes anything just the brain in a museum don't be a head like that recognize your helplessness without your wife that's a head I'm a head but I can't do anything without hands legs eyes and my wife is my hands and legs and eyes and ears and everything we're to work together that's why it's so important that you need to value your wife and care for her shall I tell you something about how our human physiology works I'm not a doctor but I'm married to one I know a little bit when a mosquito bites you on your left hand how does your right hand come immediately and whack it off within less than a second do you know how it happens there's a signal that goes up from your hand up to the head I mean the brain Hey mosquitoes with me and the hand the brain sends this message to the other hand whack it off what I'm trying to say is the head is so sensitive that even a mosquito bites the wife he's alert to it is that the type of head you are I don't mean an actual mosquito but that when she has a small problem a mosquito bite is a small thing is one of the smallest things unless you're in a malaria-ridden area otherwise it's a very small thing are you sensitive to the little I don't mean where a lion ate up or leg or something like that I don't mean such big things but I'm saying a small little thing that affected your wife do you feel it that shows how close your connection is now you know for example if there was a lack of connection between the head and the hand because of paralysis of some nerves or death of some nerves like people and their leprosy a hundred mosquitoes can bite them a rat can come and eat off the hand and the head is fast asleep the hand rat is eaten off the hand and you know there are some husband's like that terrible things are happening to the wife the puss my husband is fast asleep or he's having wonderful fellowship with the brothers somewhere in some church and a rat is et eating of his hand it's absolutely true complete insensitivity to the feelings of the wife what type of head is that that's like a head in a museum brain kept in the in a little box in the museum for everybody to admire this is brain that's not the type of headship headship is sensitive and Jesus denied himself Christ loved the church and gave himself for it and that's how a husband must care for his wife and be willing to wash her feet do all types of dirty jobs for her share the burden of looking after the children share everything with her Jesus came to the church and said all that I have is yours Jesus has a joint account with me I have a joint account with my wife all that I have is yours it's a you know when you are ahead like this your wife will rejoice to submit to you just like we rejoice to submit to Jesus Christ because he's so understanding and so compassionate do you ever want to take over the headship from Christ anybody who wants to take over the headship from Christ no neither will your wife ever want to take over the headship from you if you are a responsible husband who's sensitive to our needs being a shepherd not out to find fault with or criticize her this that and the other but help her okay the submission of the body the wife is to be like the church submitted to Christ like the body is to the head you know that it's not exactly like the body because in this sense because the body doesn't have any will of its own when I when my brain tells the hand to do something it automatically does it but it's more a picture like Christ and me the Lord tells me to do something Christ love me he tells me to do something but he gives me the freedom to say yes or no you know that sometimes you say no and who's the loser you but there's one difference that your husband is not perfect when Christ tells me to do something it's a perfect person telling me to do something and you need not have any doubt about obeying him but when you when your husband tells you to do something remember that is not a perfect person it's an imperfect person and therefore it's not exactly like we submit to Christ because their God has given you as an helper sometimes to tell your husband well darling that's not exactly right you know see God has put you together so that together in you can take decisions you're like the elders in your home like a church has got to elder's husband and wife or the elders of your children and like I said yesterday has to elder's balance out each other why did God give Barnabas to Paul and Paul to Barnabas because they were balancing each other there was grace and truth together there and when God gives a husband and wife to each other it is so that they can balance out each other it's like taking a photograph of a building for example if you took a photograph of building from the front side there and a photograph of the building from the back side you'd get two completely different pictures but is when you put both of them together that you get the full picture of the house you know that they say that if you had only one eye you won't be able to see in three dimensions you'll be able to see in two dimensions it's two eyes that help you to see in three dimensions and so a man who does not ask his wife's help it's like a one-eyed man he can see but there's tremendous limitation in what you'll be able to see if on the other hand you recognize your wife's contribution she can give you slightly different your eyes he both eyes were here you wouldn't get the same three-dimensional vision your other eye has to be a little away and your wife has to see things from a slightly different perspective than you then you get a three-dimensional picture of the problem and of the solution encourage your wife to see things from her standpoint don't force her to come to the front of the building and take the picture from where you're taking it because then you won't you'll miss something those husbands who force their wives to think like them are going to miss the total picture God has made our different God has made her a helper different from you so that she can present her view and you present yours you put it together and you pray before God and as you weigh weigh those things together before God because she's an equal heir with you on the throne of the grace of life 1 Peter 3 says that ultimately you come to a decision which is good I can think of many decisions that my wife and I have taken through the years for our children and our home and I'm so thankful that I didn't take them all myself I think my home would have been a mess if I'd done that so many things I can think of where I thought we should do it some way and I consulted with her and she had a different view would put our views together and we did it in a different way I didn't give up my headship but I recognize that I can't do things without the body the brain doesn't give up its position as the brain just because it says to the hand I need you as a verse in 1 Corinthians 12 the head does not say to the feet I don't need you and no man should ever say to his wife I don't need you you need her desperately and not just to produce children not just to have sex not just to cook your food or wash your clothes but much more important than all those things to be a partner for life together so your wife must be like a lover you know I you must read Song of Solomon I encourage all of your husbands and wives read Song of Solomon together and if you are really freed from Indian culture husband should read the bridegroom's part and the wife should read the bride's part to eat to each other it's really exciting I tell you that I don't see any excitement we are still bound by Indian culture ok it'll go just give us time it's in scripture why is it when you open the Bible right in the middle you come into Song of Solomon because God wanted that to be the relationship between a husband and wife there's nothing wrong in that and it says there about a the bride as she leans upon her beloved and walks through life it's a picture of how the wife lives in constant fellowship with her husband and walks through life like that lovers I am his and he is mine just like we sing to the Lord that's the relationships you should have with your husband if you and as I said your husband may be wrong in many areas he's imperfect and it's more difficult when a husband is imperfect but the Bible says very clearly in 1 Peter 3 that if your husband is disobedient to God's Word you wives win him don't win him by preaching to him it says winning by your behavior it's very clear one for Peter 3:1 says win him by your behavior not by your preaching win him by your behavior that means as you conduct yourself respectfully because when they observe your pure respectful behavior and not your preaching point you'll win them you feel that your husband is disobedient in some area you find it difficult to submit to him how do a lot of women submit to bosses in their office who are so evil how many women there are working in offices today and the bosses are also wicked but they submit to imperfect people why is it only at home you can't submit to an imperfect husband and remember your husband when he goes to work has to submit to an imperfect boss there that guy's not perfect you think your husband's boss is a wholehearted believer you got to be crazy he's not he's a godless atheist perhaps but your husband has to submit to me he yells at your husband and threatens him and all that he submits because the Bible says you got to submit to Authority and he can do that to work can't you submit to an imperfect husband in wisdom I'm not saying you got to do anything wrong or evil and you should not allow somebody to destroy your personality God has given you a personality don't let him destroy so I'm not you need to understand what I'm saying it's all it's very easy for these things to be misunderstood when you allow Indian culture to determine what I'm saying let me tell you the story of a man who who got married and his wife was a believer and she he was not a believer and one of the first things he told her was to come with me to the cinema some dirty movie and of course she didn't want to go but she was wise she said okay I'll come with you and they sat through that to our movie and she sat through the whole thing with her eyes closed praying and every time there was some exciting scene there he would nudge her if she's as if she was fast asleep not she didn't see a single thing in that movie theater when he went back he said to her I'll never take you to a movie again but she was did she rebel wives be wise wisdom is greater than strength have you heard the old story of the Sun and the wind had a competition children's story I love to tell that story the Sun in the wind had a competition once to see who was more powerful so how to find out he said there's a man walking on that road with a court let's see who can get him to take his coat off so the son said to the wind you try first and a wind blew and blew to pull off his coat but the more the wind blew the more the man hugged his coat tight to him the more the wind grew the more tight he'd put it around him the wind said I give up the Sun said okay let me try and the Sun became hotter and hotter and hotter and hotter and hotter and he took off his coat wisdom is better than strength it's in the Bible book of Ecclesiastes wisdom is more powerful than strength warm your wife with your love and you'll get her to do more than by shouting and yelling at her like the wind warm your husband with your love and he will give you the desires of your heart and I mean that's not exactly in Scripture but but you can win him you wives you want something warm him put your arm around him and don't just yell at him all the time you'll get a lot more things out of your wife if you warm him like the Sun instead of blowing at him like the wind as soon as he comes through the door a simple so the wife is called to be a helper to her husband God said I'm want Eve to be a helper your sisters did you know this that the Bible gives you the same name as the Holy Spirit how many of you knew that in Genesis chapter 2 God says I want to give Adam a helper Genesis chapter 2 it's a helper and in John chapter 14 Jesus said I'm going and I will send from heaven a helper for you helper the same name that God the Father gave to Eve is given to the Holy Spirit and I like to see that when I'm ministering here do you see the Holy Spirit no but I sense him the Holy Spirit so humble that he remains invisible lets me get all the glory when he's doing all the work it's fantastic isn't it the Holy Spirit he gives me the words to say and helps me to say it and then acts as if he's not there at all imagine a wife like that unseen hidden behind the scenes you know pushing her husband up and encouraging him and blessing him letting him and people think the husband's a great man he doesn't know that the wife does a lot for him I've heard a preacher who his wife is he used to even write the notes for him for sermon notes by the way they found out was once he got stuck somewhere and said I can't read my wife's handwriting well anyway she was a good wife everybody thought the husband was a great preacher but okay so one more words from ups 14 verse 1 it says a wise woman builds her house why does it say a wise man why doesn't it say a wise man why is it a wise woman who builds our house because it is the woman who brings the spirit of submission into the home first before the children come who brings the spirit of submission into the home the Spirit of Christ who submitted to the father the woman she gets married and she brings the spirit of submission into the home saturates the home with the spirit of submission and then a child is born and the child is born into a home like heaven where the husband is like a shepherd and the wife submits and and the children grow up learning to submit because they have seen their mummy submit to their daddy the best example you can be for your children many children don't submit to their mothers today because the mothers need to ask themselves what did they see in my relationship with their father the answer lies there I want to say a few words about children and parents you know we live in a day when many women go out to work neglect their homes that's another missing message in today's Christianity now I believe that going to work out of necessity is one thing a woman going to work I mean and a woman going to work for raising one standard of living and living at a higher standard of luxury is quite another thing and there are situations in India where it's necessity and in such cases God gives grace to that woman and to the home but where God sees that these people don't have necessity they just want to live at a higher standard very often you find God does not give grace there and the children suffer I have seen with my own eyes children of parents having lifelong suffering they don't become godly because the mother taught that children my job is more important than you but mommy we are earning enough I know that but we got to learn a higher standard of living but mummy you mean a higher standard living is more important than you being a mother to me yes I've got to do this I've got to do that if I when I get time I'll also be a mother to you it's sad that's the world in which we live in on the other hand here's a mother who goes to work out of necessity mommy why are you going to work you know my dear little girl my dear little boy we don't earn enough in our home so we got to I've got to work I'm doing it for your sake so that I can get put food on the table get your clothes give you an education and that child loves the mother for all the sacrifices he made there's two different cases all together that's why I don't judge others I don't judge a woman who goes to work but you know I'm very thankful at a time when my wife and I were both very poor and our first son was born I decided that we both decided that she'll be a mother first and not a doctor she's never earned one rupee as a doctor she's only helped other people but she was a mother first and I have absolutely no doubt in my mind today I was traveling so much that if my four boys were following the law today is because of my wife she was a mother first I would recommend that I've seen it I've also seen in our churches mothers who haven't taken that position and I've seen what is the result so I can only warn you I'm not here to tell you there's no verse in the Bible which says a woman should not go to work because there are some situations that maybe the husband is paralyzed or sick can't go to work then the woman has to go to work that's why there's no word in the Bible it says women should not go to work but priority is very clear a woman is called to be a mother a woman is called to be a mother at home first think of Timothy's mother when Timothy was 18 19 year old young man Paul saw him Paul was such a strict man he wouldn't even take a fellow like John Mark despite all of Barnabas is recommendation you read in acts 15 but in the next chapter we read as a replacement for John Mark Jesus I mean Paul saw a young man called Timothy who had such a good testimony it says in all those judges around they're young 19 year old man zealous Christian with a fine testimony not only in his church but in other churches where he was helping he was not standing up in the pulpit preaching but he was a witness encouraging the young brothers encouraging the children oh I wish we had some Timothy's like that in our churches and who encouraged the younger ones we're not seeking to get a name for themselves there very few like that it's rare to see such people today you know who made Timothy the man he became his mother I'm sure she was a very submissive woman she was a she was married to a Greek husband who was probably an unconverted godless man who was only interested in making money I don't know how she is a Jew married a Greek it is against God's Word she was probably backslidden she had a god-fearing mother Carlos you read that in 2nd Timothy 1 eunuch a was her name and she married this godless man and repented when she got a child she said oh god I'm sorry I the back slid but I'm determined to do one thing I'll bring up this child in a god-fearing way and she did and he grew up to be an apostle what a ministry Timothy's mother had Susanna Wesley did the greatest job for the church by raising up John Wesley to be a servant of God she had many children I think she had about 19 children some of them died and number of them died at least half of them but she'd spent one hour a week with each of our children teaching them God's Word be a mother first dear brothers and sisters let's restore the position of the home in today's Christianity let's pray Heavenly Father helped us to be what you want us to be on this earth help us to build homes like you want us to build on this earth we pray in Jesus name Amen

Channel: CFC India

Views: 16,277

Rating: 4.8720002 out of 5

Keywords: Missing, Christianity, Husband, Wives, Sermon, Poonen

Id: zwfCR9rTEpU

Length: 58min 26sec (3506 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 23 2012