Poonen Family Panel - Growing up in the Poonen Home

not often that we get the six of us to sit together all dressed up good to have it occasion to do that and speak the truth and true well we always speak the truth privately can we do it publicly in front of the whole church too okay so dad let's start with you how did you we saw the Sunday School amazing skit that they made what did what does that mean to you how did you practically apply prioritizing your relationship with your wife first and your children next over building the church I never put my family or my wife before the Lord because then I would not be a disciple always Christ was first in my life I wanted to marry a girl who would put Christ first and me second I told her that before we got married all our life put Christ first and me second and I will never put you first in my life and we are married now for 51 years I can say before God and I've never put her before Christ but Christ and ministry are not the same Christ is the foundation of my life so these three floors that you saw underneath it all is Jesus Christ and the father as my faith has found it there my life is founded there even today but I realized that I cannot do anything for the Lord if I don't walk with the Lord myself so it is very important for me to keep my conscience clear particularly after the time God met with me and filling me with the Holy Spirit and then I realized that if a man does not know how to run his home properly he cannot build the Church of God Paul gave that is one of the condition for elders if you cannot bring up a few children at home how are you going to bring up so many people in a church today Christendom is filled I saw that with pastors whose children are wayward Christian leaders who children are not following the Lord and don't belong to his church and I said what is this this is not what the Bible teaches I mean they may be preaching wonderful things and they may be teaching so many fantastic truths great great amazing truths from Scripture but look at their children let some of them look at their relationship with their wives today there aren't pastors will divorce their wives so I felt I must live my life in such a way that I live in an understanding way with my wife and treat her as a fellow heir her throne is not lower than mine equal heir of the grace of life it says in 1 Peter 3:7 and then my children also must grow up like that so but at the same time I felt God had called me to serve him so whenever there was an open door to serve him I would take that opportunity and trust the Lord to take care of my children no I could not have done that if I did not have a wife who was 100% with me and to take care of the children when I was away there was never a instance you know I have sometimes been away from home for five six weeks in the ministry somewhere or sometimes many many weekends but God is taking care of it children were sick my wife never said come back the children are sick or I can't handle this God gave me a wife who was willing to take care of that and I say that if i have put my home first above as more important than my ministry it's mainly because i had a wife who was 100% with me in seeing the importance of bringing up children properly so I would say it was God who took care of my family and second my wife that's how the family got taken care of even though I was traveling so much in the ministry so mom question for you how did you manage the home while Dad was away and how did how were you able to establish the foundation I think a lot of us pay tribute to to you being sort of that anchor for us and the reason we are where we are can you talk a little bit about how life was in the Putin home I don't remember much of it so obviously we were very chaotic kids but how did you manage to keep for high-energy boys under control well death while your husband was traveling first of all I I remember that most of the weekends my husband would travel but the weekdays he was with us in the home to take you all to school and take care of practical things and also he managed the finances which I am very poor right so that major work was taken care of by daddy I can say that the Lord gave me much grace and you all were very cooperative to know that I'm already very remember we said we would speak the truth I think you understood that I was struggling to get victory in my own life victory over anger and things like that so you made it easier for me to get to that point but I'm really thankful that dad was there and my desire was that all of you should love the Lord first of all that was my greatest desire that you should all follow the Lord and love him because I saw that was the most important thing and also that you should do well in your studies so that you could get good jobs and take care of your families great I know you and dad had very different styles of discipline you had I think mom used to say I'm gonna let dad know about this when he gets back and that would put the fear of dad fear of God everything in us when she said that what was your way of disciplining us I know dad used dad dad I mean when dad started unbuckling the belt I mean we were we became the fastest athletes all of it well mom what is your style of discipline and you have to speak the truth I got a karate black belt I never went through the stages of other brown brothers this karate black belt did a tremendous job in keeping the children on the property I was very I didn't want to get to the point when Daddy would have to use the karate black belt so I try my best to avoid that so my weapon was a comb which I always kept on mine in my head it was like kept my hair in place and also I could pull it out and give them a small tap but then as they as you grow older you remember you had to write imposition I will not disobey or I will not even not so to tell you a few years back I found in one of your desks pages and pages of I will not I will not written so that you could just fill in what was needed and surrendering and also I would tell wait till daddy comes home ana and I make a list of all a diary of all the bad conduct which I picked out they were all so trivial like they put water on the hair there was no gel but they put water on the hair to make it little stylish and I thought they'll get sick with that water so even that would go in the diary and then before daddy came I would pull out the diary and call each one and say look you did this you did that and for each of them your would say I am sorry mommy so then I'd strike out all that so when daddy came there was nothing to report to you there's a verse in the Indian living in translation for that to thank God for a mediator that can go between us and the Father so watch out if you ever see sister Annie with a comb watch out there's a word of discipline Sanjay what are your memories of dad growing up and what is he meant to you as a father first happy birthday dad a very very excited to be here I have to first attest to the fact that you said that you kept mom on a level playing field which is why as was testified she was the lion and you were the lamp very clearly in this relationship we knew who the two beasts more scared of but speaking of that comb that mom talked about it was in the very same comb but many of you boys know when we are young you know we'd have these combs in our pocket not the same comb that my mom used mom's comb was a little bigger but we have a little comb and we go to the back in the bathroom and you know trying comb by hair whenever there's a break and one time my dad caught me with the comb going to the bathroom and he said listen son I got a little secret to tell you my side is bald okay and your mom's side is great so when you get her old your little hair that you have is gonna be great so you may want to stop using the comb now so the my dad the thing that I appreciated about him was that he had a sense of humor what he was trying to do was tell me in a funny way it doesn't matter don't you know and I think that's what I through life even to this date I think the part that to me stands true you know through 50 years I'm 50 years old and just watching all of what he did to bring me up and now how I try to translate that to my kids and then how I watch him handle the grandkids it's it's it's gotta be not just this discipline there is a kindness and severity that's true but our memories of our parents need to be those fun times and the times where we built a French and weed thats what lasts and the grand scheme of things yeah I probably got spanked the fact of the matter is what I remember the most and I think all my brothers would say was the true friendship we had with our mom and dad and as we got older that friendship just became stronger number of spankings kept decreasing with each child partly because I grew more mature and I found that that is not always the best way in the beginning we start with the old covenant method in Proverbs and then we come to the new covenant method with gentleness the father correct says I'm so thankful to be the youngest in the family that I'm glad I was spared karate lessons so Sanjay as a result of all the spankings he was the you know he was the good child in the family he studied hard he did really well he was not distant disinterested or distracted by sports and things like that but we came to South or Sundeep and me we got into a lot of trouble when Sanjay left home Southwood what was life like after Sanjay left home and what did what was dad's role in your life in that period of time well I had to balance things out so I picked the opposite extreme to see how how much I could be the to the exact opposite of balance things out now I'm just kidding about that but I missed my older brother a lot I still remember the day he left in 1987 I came home and I was vomiting for a long period of time but the church filled a role in my life that with the many of many of the young brothers here I found a home in the church is really what I would say but my memories of dad and mom through those years the teenage years I see I don't have teenagers yet but I see other families in working with teenagers and I look back on what my teenage years were like and I see that how patient my parents were in waiting for God to fulfill his plan in my life and so often a parent I can long and wish that my child could be fixed right now but I never got the feeling like my parents were trying to force me to be somebody I was not and they were patient for God to fulfill his plan in my life and I look back where I am now and that patience has borne fruit and even though there were many times when I'm sure they felt hopeless or felt at an end of themselves in having to deal with a teenager full of passion and even rebellion perhaps I see that they were patient and they trusted the seed that God had planted in our lives to bear fruit in time so they so you have along with Santosh have had the honor of having dad both as a physical father and transitioning to a spiritual father as he's been an apostle to the church in San Jose and NC CF how how would you express the influence that he has had both to you as a physical father and how that's transition now into him being a spiritual father to you as well yeah I mean I'd say a couple of things about the Disciplinary methods there was the black belt there was the imposition the best the best disciplinary method was the cricket bat the cricket bat wasn't used on me the cricket bat was hidden and that was the best disciplinary method because if we couldn't find the cricket bat our worlds were cease to exist we didn't have life didn't have meaning if we couldn't play cricket in the afternoons or in the evenings so dad and mom used to hide it and with with old us from playing mom not me my dad would support mum I've gone ask dad can I play and he'd say go ask mom so mum figured out interesting ways to hide the cricket bat in some places where the lizards heard and where the lizard's go we don't go so the cricket bat kind of hung out there I think what to echo what Santosh also said I think I didn't realize how patient my parents were and dad was I think as you know at least three of us got married in our 30s not in our 20s and brother Victor was talking about 27 years old first child after two years all those things there are certain kind of expectations and we were not that fully aware of it because we were in America but I'm sure maybe some of you also put pressure on my parents when are your children getting married how come they're 30 and they're not married we didn't feel that pressure and I think one we were in America it's slightly different there but dad and mom I really appreciate the fact that they never pressured us to get married it was a different situation for us but the Lord that dad and mom both gave us so much freedom that we didn't even feel it we didn't feel the pressure that we have to get married we knew it we knew we wanted to get married but we didn't feel that pressure so I appreciate that and I think the church at NC CF is the best evidence of what the Lord has taught to us through my dad the changed lives the people who are gripped with following the New Covenant there's no better testimony to that so I think it's it speaks for itself and I add something to that I many of one of the things that I didn't see as a child when I received correction was what happened after and I happened to observe that I think later on with perhaps when Sunil might have got a spanking or something and after that I saw my dad go into his bedroom and quietly be by himself and I understood later on that that was where he examined his heart and even before that I'm sure he examined his heart to see that the correction was done in the spirit of Christ I say that in the context of the churches well I've had the privilege of my dad staying with me more and more over the last few years in Colorado in my home and I set up a table in my office where I work I made sure he also sits there with me and I've I've seen I observe him quietly even in ways and he doesn't know I'm watching him and I see and you know that many of you have received perhaps correction perhaps karate black belt spankings by email and what you have not seen is the year are the hours and days and weeks perhaps of laboring in prayer and seeking the Lord and sometimes I watch him and his face is just far out silently praying to the Lord and I know it's related to something that's going on somewhere in the world that he has a responsibility for and I I've been the recipient of emails like that myself and I learned to think and to see the heart of a father behind that the correction and so if any of you have received that what you have not seen is the labor that's gone on before and after in secret one day we will see it and I think there were many people in Paul's day as well who perhaps resisted or rejected the correction they received and in heaven they'll realize the heart that was behind it was the heart of God the heart of love did not know was after I spanked them it was not very often but to leave something was very serious the Bible says the rod of Correction will drive foolishness far away but I have to say that number of times I lost my temper in correcting them and those of the day times when I didn't go to the bedroom I went into the toilet because the only place that I could lock the door and I would sit there and weep before the Lord say Lord I'm sorry I lost my temper I want to discipline my children without getting angry and had to fight that fight that for a number of years but I couldn't apologize to my children then because they wouldn't understand it they thought they would think I'm apologizing for the spanking which is not true I was apologizing to God for the anger and I said Lord I want to come to the place where I can discipline my child the way you disciplined me without any anger but with love and that took a long time and what about apologizing to the children for spanking them in anger I said that I'll do in a consolidated way finally when they are 18 years old when they can understand the difference between discipline with anger and without anger so none of you should feel discouraged if you happen to punish your children and anger sometime but don't stop there get alone with God weep and pray and I tell you as he delivered me he'll deliver you thank you great justwe suddenly made an interesting point about you dad I'm not putting pressure on you guys to get married but obviously you put a lot of pressure on me to get married since I was the first to get married at the age of 26 I didn't want to stop you I was a godly girl and somebody had to get married so the rest of the brothers would get married would take court for the team but thank you for that that freedom one of the things I really respect about my father is the fact that how I've seen the greatness of him reflected in the life of Jesus in his life what I consider him the greatest man of God I have met in my lifetime and that's not because of any sermon he's preached even if he didn't preach a single sermon if I didn't hear a single sermon of his he would still be the greatest man of God I have met and it's because of the life of Christ I've seen him in him the love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness self-control but I've seen in his life every day and the way he raised us in the way he's still teaching us and manifesting the life of Jesus to us sent to his grandchildren and that makes him it's nothing about his gifting or his ministry and the encouragement we've heard that verse earlier this conference 1 Corinthians 9:24 all of us can run that race to win so all of us can aim to be imitators of brother Zack of my dad as he follows Christ and all of us can win that race regardless of ministry or gifting because the life of Christ is available to all of us if we pursue that so thank you Dad for that example a couple more questions to mom and dad mom one to you in more traditional churches the role of the pastor's wife is quite different than it is in your average CFC Church did you ever have a desire to be pastor Annie Putin alongside the stage with you you know sitting on the stage with the Zack Coonan or was that something that didn't appeal to you and what did that meet here dr. pastor this question I can honestly say I never wanted to be on the platform get that attention and prominence I don't know from my childhood I was not a person who liked to stand before people so I am so thankful that my husband didn't want and want me to be that type of person and also we heard in one of the meetings about our boundaries I realized that my boundary was the home to take care of my husband and my children and all the practical things in the home and that was such a tremendous time consuming work I didn't have time for anything else I am thankful I didn't have to sit in prepare sermons and also after that I I realized God gave me an education in my medical field I can use that to help people who are sick and that took the rest of the time thanks mom I can honestly testify I think all of us can I had a minor medical condition about a couple years ago that I went to three or four different doctors about and then finally had the humility to come and ask call up mom in India and say okay this is what I'm going through she prescribed something for me and I was healed in a matter of days so I could testify that she is her decision to be the doctor of the home to be the mother of the home is the reason we are where we are today both in terms of our physical health as well as in terms of our spiritual health Thank You mom that my mom has taught me and my dad's also been this which is just this lifestyle which to me has been I would say today a lessons that I take all the way to my work life and and that is to never treat people who are in a status symbol in society special and then people who are poor and lowly in a different way I mean this is obviously the sin of partiality that James talks about but of anything I thought I learned from a parent's that the poor and lowly of the world are in a even special state in a bigger and better state obviously if they love the Lord and it's more likely if that you have rich and you're accomplished and you have gifts you're more likely not to need the Lord and I see a lot of people who they kiss up to people who are in in high levels of society and they treat people and that just should not never be us obviously and that's something I'm really grateful I learned from my mom thank you mom and dad for that example of Jesus okay dad the final question for you we celebrated your actual birthday on November 5th in the US a few weeks ago great celebration together and on this around the same time I've been told that there were a few people unknown to you that broke into your home to celebrate your birthday in your home can you tell us a little bit about what happened there and how that affected you maybe tell the story behind a home for 47 years in Bangalore no thief ever came in but one week after my birthday just a week ago some very good people I presume they are good people in their own eyes they wanted they were in need of some money or something and they thought here's a nice house there must be some gold and jewelry and money inside here so they broke the front grille and broke the front door I don't know when they did it at night or something and went right in and broke open every cupboard and all the drawers in my office and every shelf and scattered everything and looked for gold and jewelry because if they had seen my wife they know we never wear jewelry but they didn't see that and they looked all over there was no money there was no gold no jewelry but those two metals which I got from the president which is on the picture they stole that and so Sunil told me perhaps God wants you to forget about your naval life completely it doesn't bother me because I never wore it it used to be just in my cupboard and it's not a loss and they never found anything I'll tell you what I did is what I always do when somebody takes something away from me I prayed for them I said Lord nobody's ever prayed for these thieves or burglars whatever they are but I pray that I will I forgive them they've not taken anything from me first of all there's nothing to forgive but I pray that I will see one of them in heaven and in heaven they will tell me because you prayed I'm here I've had experience through the years of people picking my pocket in the bus in the Train it's happened to me a few times and I've always admired them for the way they did it so cleverly that I didn't even feel it and I said Lord nobody's ever prayed for this big pocket I want to pray for him so that's what I've always done whenever anybody's stolen anything or done any harm to me or written some article against me or spoke on evil against me the Bible says do good to those who are evil towards you pray for those who despitefully use you and I have literally followed that and I've prayed for those who harm me or tried to rob me and couldn't succeed in anything so when I heard this news I was not here I was out of the country when I heard this house was burgled I said the Lord I've always preached on the book of Job that Satan himself said in job chapter 1 that God has put three hedges around job because he was a god-fearing man the outer hedge is his property joke 111 the next hedge is his family members wife and children the third hedge is his own body in his life and God with it was after getting God's permission that God opened up the hedge and jobs property was all gone so I say in my case God opened up the hedge a wee bit just a tiny bit and God allowed those people to come for some purpose I have believed in all my life as a Christian for 60 years I can testify not only as I have sought God's kingdom first he's added all things to me but another thing I can say every single thing that God is allowed to happen in my life has worked not just for my good but for my very best and this also I believe it has worked in some way for my best to show me that I was not even slightly disturbed by what happened I didn't dream or want to find out if they took anything of it took anything let they take it and it just make me a better pilgrim on this earth with the less of the things of this earth you already have more than enough so it never disturbed me and I was very thankful that God proved to me that even in a storm I could sleep peacefully he doesn't disturb me one bit I've not even bothered the other great truth I've proved through many years of my life is that 1 Corinthians 10:13 god never tests us beyond our ability so he allows us to face trial when we are strong enough for it just to show you your muscles are strong you can handle anything so I'm thankful for all these things I believe that whether it was a court case or a burglary or people calling me the devil or people writing articles against me and so many Christian magazines and saying this there is a cult called putinism have you heard that they published that in 1 Christian magazine I said god bless them I will never be disturbed in my heart because many years ago the Lord told me if you want to fight the devil determined right now that you will never fight with flesh and I decided that many years ago I will not fight with flesh and blood so when the police came and asked me did you have any gold or jewelry oh then cash I said nothing he smiled he said really there's nothing in your know I say okay I'm a testimony to the policeman also as a Christian a disciple of Jesus or amazing mom I'm really thankful we were not here in Bangalore when this happened but so many brothers rushed and checking a house and replaced the lock and did so much for us I I don't want to say the name but I am really thankful for the body of Christ and the brothers and sisters who pitched in and helped us I tell you that's very important people saw I think even the neighbors saw here's a man who's not even here all types of people rush in the very same day and tidied up everything by the time we came back the grille was fixed the door is restrict the locks were fixed and all the clothes were all arranged and what a wonderful thing it is to be the church as a family this is my family the church is my home and this is where I'll be all the days of my life [Music] what an amazing testimony one of the brothers are sharing with me yesterday obviously they didn't the thieves didn't do enough research because they mistook you for a prosperity preacher then and unfortunately they weren't very well rewarded Thank You brothers thank you dad and mom for this awesome time of sharing

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Length: 32min 36sec (1956 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 03 2020