5. New-Covenant Husband-Wife Relationship - Zac Poonen

okay so I'm gonna break this up into two sessions dealing with family life the first part for husbands and wives and the second part for parents and children so there's some introductory remarks I want to make first of all the first is from 1 Corinthians in chapter 10 a principle that applies to all of our Christian life 1 Corinthians 10 and verse 31 whether you eat or drink eating and drinking is the most normal daily thing that we do whether you eat or drink or whatever you do that is related to each other as husband and wife bring up children do all to the glory of God so that's the first thing we must remember that we want to have a good husband wife relationship not to show other people in the church what a wonderful family life we have that can be a tremendous temptation I want people in the church to see what a wonderful family life we have that is a completely wrong motive and you can't expect God to support you if your motive is wrong say Lord I want to do that to bring glory to you so that the devil's mouth is shut in my home by the way I relate to my wife for my husband had been glory to you whatever you do do all to the glory of God the same thing applies to bringing up children I don't want to bring up my children in such a way that everybody in church will say oh look at that family how they brought up that children so well there's such a tremendous temptation for that the every area remember this verse whatever you do do all to the glory of God and if you work out your salvation in this area from all the other things we see not the glory of God you'll find that you've come to the destination quicker and so that's the first thing I want to say and the second thing I want to say is an introductory remark is from 1 Corinthians in chapter 4 and that is in the day that the Lord comes and he's going to judge our life he's going to judge our family life is going to judge how husband and wife lived he's going to judge how we bring up our children and what is he going to judge it's not how well they behaved in the church service time not how well other people thought your children were though that counts was 0 1 Corinthians 4 verse 5 says in the middle when the Lord comes there are two things he's gonna bring to light in other words these are the two things he's going to examine in the final day in our lives in husband wife relationship how you brought up your children number one the things hidden in darkness that means how it was in your home when nobody could see how your children behaved not how they behaved in the church meeting know that is honor seeking but how they behaved at home in the darkness when nobody in the church saw them if you concentrate on that it will be okay in public and the second thing is the motive one the things hidden in darkness which nobody can see and the other is the motive the motive with which you want to have a good husband wife relationship and the motive with which you want to bring up your children that we said earlier for the glory of God so if you concentrate on that because so often you know the emphasis we must have a good testimony as husband and wife that can be so much before the face of men our children must behave properly and they might bring a bad name to the Lord so much before the face of men that's important because it says let your light shine before men the way you live and the way you bring up your children so that they will see it then bring glory to God that's important but it's dependent on the motive and depending on how we bring them up in the darkness when nobody can see so those are some introductory remarks then we go to first of all husband wife relationship so the first words I want to show you is husbands be subject to your wives have you read that did I get it wrong did I get it wrong I did not please read with me Ephesians 5:21 that's why I started with that verse because that's what you never hear another preacher preach on that what is the fissions 5:21 means wives be subject to your husband is the next verse don't jump to that verse first a lot of husbands would like to start with verse 22 when I say we start with verse 21 which is both husband and wife be subject to one another in the fear of Christ this is the introduction to verse 22 and a tyrant of a husband will never accept that they all like to start in verse 22 and even the people of latter paragraphs the Bible start with verse 22 I think the paragraphs should begin with verse 21 so which means we recognize like the Bible says the husband and wife are joint heirs of the grace of God so come back to Ephesians but let's turn for a moment to 1 Peter and chapter 3 1 Peter chapter 3 where we're told were seven husbands live with your wives in an understanding way knowing that she's a weaker vessel as a woman showing an honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life air is a title reserved to the prince and princess and someone who's going to be a king or a queen so joint heir means there are two Thrones one for the husband and one for the wife so the wife is not at the footstool no she's on an equal throne at the same level as the husband joined air one is not superior to the other of the grace of life so then the question comes in what way we do we go on to Ephesians 5:22 where it says the wives must be subject to their own husbands if you want to suit Ephesians 5:21 right then you're ready for verse 22 if you have not understood Ephesians 5:21 properly I would say don't rush into verse 22 learn verse 21 first where both are to be subject to one another in the fear of Christ recognizing that a Christ is ultimately the head of your home not you and you recognize it Christ at the head of your home and you are both joint heirs then you are ready to be the head of your wife not otherwise in that connection I also like you to look at 1 Corinthians in Chapter 11 1 Corinthians 11 where you know this is the reason why men are told to pray without their head being covered and women are asked to pray with their head being covered here's the reason the reason is this that the reason is that Christ 1 Corinthians 11:3 Christ is the head of every man and Christ must not be covered that's why men do not cover their heads in the church meeting understand that whereas the man is the head of the woman and man must be covered in the church man's glory is not to be seen church that's why woman wails her head it's more than a spirit of submission so here's the order 1 Corinthians 11 verse 3 God the Father and beneath him Christ when we say beneath him we also know he's equal Jesus Christ was equal with the Father in what way is it said that God is the head of Christ Jesus voluntarily took the place of submission to the Father on earth no compunction he voluntarily came and submitted to the father on the earth even though he was equal with him and in that sense man is the head of a woman you got it so the man is the head of the woman recognizing that God and Christ are equal he and the woman are equal and the woman submits to the man exactly like Jesus submitted to the Father so Jesus demonstrated by his submission on earth that submission is not a disgraceful thing it's a glorious wonderful thing to submit to demonstrated that Jesus Christ and who has the opportunity to demonstrate to demonstrate that in a home both husband and wife as the husband is subject to Christ and treats his wife in a respectful way just like Jesus treats us with respect you know that Jesus never forces us to do anything the Old Testament law is dull shalt thou shalt not thou shalt thou shalt not that's Old Covenant in the New Covenant Jesus use the word if if any man will come after me let him follow me so there is a freedom that Jesus gives us to choose every day do I want to die to myself here or not no compulsion it's one of the most important things we learn in the Garden of Eden then God God sent Adam and Eve completely free without any angel to supervise them you choose all by yourself whether you want to obey me or not I told you don't eat of that tree of knowledge of good and evil but I'm not going to force you that is the freedom God gave man from day one and that is the freedom a husband gives to his wife to choose whether she will obey or not and if she's a god-fearing woman she will do what Jesus did in submission to the Father so we know that the husband is to love the wife like Christ loved the church so Christ is the example for the man but here we read Christ is the example for the woman as well in the way he submitted to the Father so we don't consider only Ephesians 5 where it says as the church is subject to Christ so the why a woman must be subject to the man because the woman is to be subject to the man just like Jesus was submit to the Father and above your husband is God that's why in situations where the husband is unconverted and we have numerous cases like that in the world of a woman whose husband is not converted what should she do when her husband asks her to bow down to an idol that we know she will say no why does she say no there's a reason for it because above her husband is Christ that's why she says no I cannot bow down to an idol it's not blind submission to the husband now if there was nobody above then she just has to obey whatever the husband says but it's not like that there is a head above the husband and that is Christ and so she has every right to say not only I will not bow down to an idol but dad darling I'm not going to tell that lie even though you want to ask me to tell a lie I'm sorry I won't say it I'm not going to cheat someone even though you asked me to do that I don't have to submit to you if my conscience tells me that Christ does not permit me to do that it's very important to understand that so it's a very beautiful relationship that God is planned for husband and why did you see just like the relationship that Jesus has with me he never forces me to do anything he's never forced me to do a single thing in my life and all the 60 years I've known him what a wonderful relationship that is if a woman can say my husband never forced me to do a single thing in my life but what an example Jesus has been to me for me to follow that is how a husband is to lead jesus is a shepherd of the sheep and a husband must be the shepherd for the wife it's not further husband to say to the wife why can't you get victory over your anger okay let the husband be the shepherd and demonstrate by leading the Sheep in a life without anger and say hey follow me as I follow Christ this is a true Christian marriage whereas the husband is the leader not the leader to commanding people like a general but the leader like a shepherd going in front of the Sheep and so if I can if you can see this balance you can see what a glorious thing it is a Christian marriage is to demonstrate the relationship the perfect relationship that God Jesus wants to have with us that Jesus had with the father it's demonstrated in the husband wife relationship at home so we were comparing the old and new covenant in the previous weeks but this also is important because in the old covenant there's no emphasis given on husband wife relationship you go through all the 39 books of the Old Testament no teaching on husband-wife relationship it just says don't be unfaithful to your wife don't commit adultery and in Malachi chapter 2 there are a few exhortations of not being unfaithful to your wife but otherwise there's no teaching on husband wife relationship in fact in Deuteronomy we are even said that if you're not happy with your wife you can divorce her not that you can't divorce but it says if you do divorce her because you're not happy give her a certificate of divorce god never commanded divorce when the Pharisees asked Jesus about it he said it's because of the hardness of your heart that God permitted it permitted is different from commanded he never commanded he permitted it the Jews made that permission to a command but he did permit it I must say he did permit divorce in the Old Testament and he said in Deuteronomy 24 if that woman whom you divorced wants to come back to you you should not marry her again so in the New Covenant there's a tremendous emphasis on husband wife relationship this is one of the big differences between Old Covenant and New Covenant like you've often heard me say the church is like a three-story building where the foundations of this building which is very important is the fact that God loves us exactly like he loved Jesus John 1723 without that foundation you cannot build the true body of Jesus Christ and on that is the first floor and the first floor is a walk with God with a clear conscience your personal walk with God the husband and the wife each walking with God with the clear conscience that is the first floor on the top of that is the second floor or the second story where husband wife relationship comes you cannot have that second story in the second floor if you haven't got the first floor strong so if a husband and wife don't keep walk with the good conscience they're never going to be able to build the second story their mutual relationship they must remember that for a good husband wife relationship they have to be underneath a foundation that God loves me as he loves Jesus I'm secure in that I'm not trying to prove myself to my husband or prove myself to my wife now I got to prove nothing God loves me as he loves Jesus I'm secure in that love and on that foundation I walk with a good conscience husband or wife then you can build a good relationship as husband and wife very very important and the reason why many husband and wife conflicts come the second floor is beginning to be shaky because they're not founded and a good foundation they don't believe that God loves them as they love Jesus they are insecure or they don't each walk with a good conscience so remember when you have a problem they're in the second floor is not because of husband wife relationship is because of a faulty understanding of God's love and a faulty walk with God in a clear conscience so once you solve the problem it's like you know you have a symptom of some itching on your hand the problem is some bug inside your body it's not there you can put an ointment that'll come up somewhere else it's the internal root cause of that irritation on your skin that must be dealt with so very often the husband wife relationship you go to a marriage counselor and he tell you how to say talk to each other and call up each other many times a day and say I love you that doesn't solve the problem you got a deal with foundation you've got a deal with the first floor very very important and it's only on top of that comes the third floor when you build the church so the church is as strong as the people who are rooted in God's love walking with the good conscience and have a good husband wife relationship this is very very important and one final thing I want to say this not everything it's I mean this could go on for hours but here is what I want to say here is another thing which is never found in the Old Testament be filled with the Holy Spirit as a command we read a people on whom the Holy Spirit came in the Old Testament mainly for ministry but here it's not talking about that Old Covenant filling with the spirit where the veil was on top and the Spirit was poured upon the person and flowed out like that is where the veil is removed if I remove lid of this jar then doubly holy spirit comes in and overflows from within that is New Covenant filling that is the filling of the Spirit mentioned in Ephesians 5:18 it's the only place in the New Testament where we read the command be filled with the Holy Spirit and then do what speaking tongues no be thankful speak with a spirit of gratitude and then go on to what be subject to one another as husband and wife imagine that the command to be filled with the Holy Spirit leads on to the married life so I wish more people had seen this as the result of being food of the Holy Spirit what's the mark of a spirit filled life that you have a good relationship as husband and wife that's what it says here let me read it be fruit of the Spirit and verse 21 be subject to one another in the fear of Christ and wives be subject to your husband's husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and wives please verse 33 respect your husband husband you love your wife the most important thing verse 33 that a wife needs to know is the husband loves her verse 33 and the most important thing that a wife must do to her husband is respect her husband wives respect your husband's husbands love your wives this is the result of being filled with the Holy Spirit and the other thing I want to say which is not in the New Testament is what comes after this section on the home this home section starts with husband wife chapter 6 verse 1 - for parents and children and chapter 6 verse 5 and 9 servants and masters and in those days all servants all homes rather had slaves and servants in their home so it's all speaking about home relationships from chapter 5 verse 22 to chapter 6 verse 9 what is the introduction we filled with the Holy Spirit and what's the other side of this to resist the devil this is the other thing is the only place in scripture where we are told about putting on the armor of God to resist the devil and to stand finally against eleven against the schemes of the devil and having overcome everything verse 13 that you stand firm stand firm verse 13 verse 14 it comes up to home relationships so here are two important new testament truths be filled of the Spirit fight the devil resist him and overcome and in between these two brackets as it were his husband wife relationship parent children relationship do you see the importance of this the devil's going to attack the home that's what we read here and you got to be filled with the holy spirit to build this home the way God wants you to build it and there you see how important the home is in the New Covenant

Channel: NCCF Church

Views: 12,898

Rating: 4.9130435 out of 5

Keywords: NCCF, CHRISTIAN, ZAC POONEN

Id: t6OHblTLFGc

Length: 22min 6sec (1326 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 24 2019