Zooming With the Homies (ZWTH) EPISODE 115

how are you i'm good how are you whatever y'all i'm coming right now my my wifi just completely went down to the house so i gotta start it from my phone how are you oh no to here you want me to start it whatever y'all i'm coming right now all right what's up everybody gonna work all day to here on my computer for some reason it's not pulling up on my computer i'm doing this on my phone i'm the same way right now doug i don't know what happened my wi-fi just refuses to work right now so i'm gonna be on my phone until i can figure out what's going on yeah i wanted to you know kick back on my computer and be able to think about it you know phone it is yeah right now run faster in the gerbil cage shut up kevin all right that looks like it's working all right let me see let's see if i can jump up in here real quick [Music] all right what i've done what up doe cello cello challenge what up what up what it's there we go why am i not going video you gotta click the thing look at the bottom and say add video touch your screen look at the bottom left i knew that lark what up dope what up dope man you know what it is no that's me all right there we go all right now we settled whatever work on my um on my laptop but i guess the phone you might have to uh update zoom uh doug it wasn't letting me in earlier all right let me try that yeah you gotta you might have to update zoom it might not let you win i'm trying to get it to the gallery but let me see if it's on gallery yet uh i still look like a song speaker review hopefully switch is over soon all right i'm still here i'm gonna try to um get this passcode and stuff i mean what up doug what's up what's going on brother good to see you man yeah yeah i ain't got one choice my [ __ ] i ain't got one sure i know that's right i know that's right uh let me try to get why is it not make me the host here and then i can do it i i can't make anybody to host right now i logged off the other phone the phone let me do it so it won't let me do it but it's got me smart in it speaking to you go to it's still on that [ __ ] all right well this is weird we can't we can't keep going have y'all let me up more bro i don't know what was going on like like literally yeah pay for that [ __ ] dawg that [ __ ] cost bro i got i paid for it utter chaos this is like a rock like a rock dress for less ridiculous oh my gosh that's the worst man i don't feel too bad the only the only person that know i mean that don't know how we normally run it is but doug you'll see it's pretty smooth uh it was just a little bit chaos right there anyway welcome everybody to another john you got a mute them chips is loud my bad for her you was trying to eat like you was eating a snack at two o'clock in the morning what's going on man yeah yeah little feedback to here somebody got a bad bad feedback i see that uh i'm gonna do a test real quick i'm you guys one of the time and we'll see if you should i'm gonna try sunshine first testing test and testing you still hear it he's on mute sean you got our music all right you got me yeah it muted me automatically for some reason yeah i i muted you i'm muting you guys one by one let's see where it is testing testing let me try uh take nick tate i'm gonna mute you and then i'm gonna say something because that's where we getting the feedback from let me try that all right testing test and testing testing one two i think it might be taking it might be your headphones so i'm mute yourself real quick test and test it in one two check check check check check check okay it's a little bit on your side but it we might be able to get through it don't take this it's all good all right do everybody hear me echoing this [ __ ] like that i think it's gone now all right all right we're good to go well man bless it uh let's get it going man i apologize for difficulties i don't know what that was about um but we here now we're gonna have a good time uh welcome to another episode of zuma with the homies man this is the keep your distance takeover gonna be a lot of fun we got a lot of amazing talented people in here we ain't gonna hold you up we're just gonna kick this thing off first and foremost ladies and gentlemen uh amazing writers [ __ ] hold on sounds like amazing comedian uh testing testing testing tayden i muted you i think it might be yo your headphones is your headphones do you have another pair or can you um if you take the headphones off would you still be able to hear us you got to get off the old ass buds them the ones they give you on delta [Laughter] i mute yourself first you still music yeah these them super skinny chords can y'all hear me we can hear you but like when other people start talking and skull can't be thrown screaming at us oh candy they used to sell those in the vending machine right yeah try this take try to take them off uh wind them up and then throw the [ __ ] in the trash can see it that way what you can do [ __ ] you hey give me the ones though yeah turn your uh turn your camera sideways and shine they tell me it ain't that deep with that microphone they ain't even that serious listen listen listen stop buying them me shirts and get you some real headphones [ __ ] you got they just never take these you got the whole [ __ ] we just zoom in with the homies bro kevin tate has sold over 50 000 shirts he just sold over 50 000 me shirts and won't buy a decent pair of headphones [ __ ] if y'all get your life together but yeah turn your uh your camera sideways if you can't your phone sideways if you can't you talking to me yeah that's why i keep saying tape i can't hear y'all [ __ ] y'all low as hell off my headphones to keep man much to the left or to the right i can't show you all that much of my life this only responsible part of my life is right here in this box [ __ ] if i turn sideways my life is [ __ ] up bro okay [ __ ] it leave it alone leave it alone let's let's just leave it low ladies and gentlemen uh amazing writer comedian producer director content creator and he does a little handiwork around y'all you need your walls painted and that's not a sexual innuendo has literally asked me if you need your walls painted or designed you can hit this brother up right here because he don't turn down nothing but his goddamn collar coming to the stage i want y'all to welcome right now my dog mrs sean lorcas talking about i know right i'm like [Laughter] john you were handing you handyman you did one i did that behind me man i didn't know i'm not really manly like that that's dope yeah i cook [Laughter] you need three kids before next up ladies and gentlemen uh he has the zodiac show literally every night of the week i think he's on show 896 right now never takes a day off he's from detroit you know representing to the fullest you can catch his me shirt right now at any article gas station if you get five dollars on whatever pump you own y'all help me welcome to the stage comedian writer producer actor and the strength talent mr kevin t what up though that is at every gas station [ __ ] you got that l.a hat in cleveland [Laughter] what up dope gang gang what up hey man i appreciate you being here tate we're gonna keep it moving uh ladies and gentlemen she's originally from the carolinas uh she's now in baltimore flew out here to do the keep your distance comedy show she's a creator uh writer a comedian uh uh uh they're calling her the the club clubhouse oprah cause she's got so many goddamn rooms going y'all put your hands together for my whole girl extreme talent extreme extremely funny comedian todd davis in the house hey what's up guys what's going on hi david you've been having you'll be having 16 rooms going at one time i don't even know how they let you still be on clubhouse right now i just know you're trying to take over two phones i'm on the phone i'm on it on two phones and ipads so that's all if i didn't know any better i think he was selling dope but we gonna keep him moving ladies and gentlemen next up uh this brother has been in the comedy game for a while he's a member of omega sci-fi he is a comedian a writer as you can see all the lights in the background he got a whole production uh studio going on in this house right now y'all put your hands together for comedian writer actor producer mr doug thank you thank you for the grand intro uh uh i want to keep everything on the upbeat man but it just came across my thing i want to say uh rest in peace tiny leicester man oh yeah i just i'm just seeing this now as you were introducing me did you really want to keep it on that beat because that just [ __ ] up the mood really we all everybody told you everybody you wanted to break the news with the [ __ ] i know y'all gonna get married and [ __ ] but uh hey you know that but go here [Laughter] larry yeah we introduce this guy next ladies and gentlemen he's comedy's bully that's what i said yeah so what uh but he he's actually one of the coolest people ever you just don't see him smile like literally on trying to find a picture of nain smiling when he doesn't look like a gunner to his back it's one of the most difficult things i challenge anybody to do it uh one of the coolest [ __ ] in the game plastic cupboard amazing comedian actor writer has a new show out right now ladies and gentlemen you put your hands together for my dog mr nain that wasn't true man i always smile in pictures i always smile in pictures i don't smile in real life you don't smile comfortably that's what i said you said i don't even know how to do that [ __ ] no more not even smiling like this [Laughter] ladies and gentlemen the creator of keep your distance comedy show he's a great friend of mine comedian writing husband father um he pays his ties you know quarterly just a great guy man put your hands together uh but kev on stage man you know what i'm getting hit up so much about that man you're a big person man people got offended that i missed your name right now yeah you did keep on 317 times in 20 minutes i'm getting death threats for saying that so let me back a public apology for messing his name up right funny part doug was like man i am such a big fan of your work keep on you are great killed those that don't know first of all first of all this is uh keep your distance take over man uh we have a lot of fun tonight man and some more people might pop up you never know but it's gonna be a lot of fun we're gonna talk about the show we're gonna talk about comedy we're gonna have a great time uh these are all comedians everyone travels obviously here uh and it's gonna be a great show so because we can't travel as much as we normally do um who god kevin take them out take them off right got all that extra [ __ ] you see that [ __ ] doug williams got set up the [ __ ] running bad courts that's you we got the legit [ __ ] they tried to sneak it back in here she was like cause i can't hear y'all dawg that [ __ ] got some water get a bluetooth speaker or something i got one right here all right i'll hook up to my bluetooth i'll do that but y'all ain't gonna hear me all right go ahead wait he got some wires if he has a speaker will still be able to hear you sneaky [ __ ] [ __ ] look at my picture sometime [ __ ] you just seen i had them all [Laughter] ladies and gentlemen everyone here is a comedian obviously we can't move the way that we normally do because of the uh the pandemic so all i ask is that you take care of my guests while they're here um and at the time i asked all my guests to change your name to your cash apps uh so that people can bless you with a little something where i do that at the zoo are you on your phone i'll do it for you what's your uh what's your cash back today dollar sign laugh it up thirty-two laughs i haven't used mine in so long i gotta look and see what my i can't remember what my name is do my [ __ ] too here do my [ __ ] too kevin tate is man okay all right john what is it laugh it up what laughing up 32. okay what's the show on espn where the dude give them points when they make a good they say something around the whole around the horn around the horn yeah are we gonna get like a dollar every time we see some good [ __ ] it might be hey man listen i wanna i wanna get paid for the good [ __ ] i say hey how [ __ ] would you ain't no i know ain't no no limit to what you can get here brother you know what i'm saying you could buy another pickup truck i ain't never seen a city a city [ __ ] buy a pickup truck and be so happy about it too he just saw driving around his neighborhood calling people [ __ ] with a hard [Laughter] [Music] yo my pickup is low-key becoming my favorite car i love it hey do it feel different because i was thinking about getting a a pickup truck bro i'll you can you can test drive my [ __ ] if you want you knock on the pickup truck is so big on the inside you know it's it got the back seat and everything and it's just a a nice comfortable ride and it's a hemi so the [ __ ] fast i put some wheels on it the other day you gotta hear me and i think it's a hit me in that [ __ ] what's really incredible is that you guys are making that kind of money they talking about i'm trying to see how i'm gonna keep the cable on they'll be talking about yeah i'm thinking about getting the car you know come on come on just drive my car i wanna go get a new one though i was going i'm gonna get a used one me and kev we we in the same neighborhood you cannot get through the gate with a [ __ ] pilot bro unless you all clean in the pool oh do your [ __ ] job though he got a little better at first he was like he jumped in front of people cars and she hopefully y'all uh you know when y'all see comedians in the neighborhood or whatever you welcome i'm not gonna mention any names but i remember a while ago i was out um and you know you know how they have the the the startup i mean not starting them but the model homes yeah really they trust and i was out looking at one of the model homes and a famous comedian saw me hey man what you doing what you doing over here oh my god like he was gonna come in here he's supposed to be how did you get past hey man oh oh okay okay all right [ __ ] did you like david allen boomerang [Laughter] why is ty eating like a like a 10 year old oh my god won't nobody say nothing bro [ __ ] over there let me tell y'all let me tell you why and after that show she didn't go straight home all right she went to a hotel because she told her make sure she quarantined and that she was safe to come back home now it's her mom and her daughter at the career right i stayed at that hotel for a week and a half she could have went home at 80. she got her results the next day she stayed at that hotel a week and a half you know when she checked out the hotel y'all know what she checked out when her flight out to l.a was this morning that's when the [ __ ] she checked out wow she was out there she had company she wasn't just out there chilling watching my mother pulled in where you at yeah i was protecting my family right being responsible i was socially distanced nobody came over so these yams have not been touched um look at my face the pandemic got us like bro i just want to be alone like by myself alone but not and i only want to be in a room in my house i want to be in a room hey hold on hold on i just came from atlanta in two weeks they don't give they wide open i had five people literally come to me and take that stupid ass mask off this [ __ ] ain't real hey i'm not saying i said how you [ __ ] i'm going in the cvs the [ __ ] arguing in front of me they say hey care they say man [ __ ] let me see your mask my [ __ ] like [ __ ] see my man i'm talking about [ __ ] in atlanta i ain't got time for atlanta don't get me on the plane i do want to send a shout out to uh kev on stage though man hey listen you you can tell you're married because my wife was about to pull the plug on this but you came up with the covet i mean you you did some industry standard stuff to make oh listen bro we we've been shooting so much people been i ain't we just been getting exposed like somebody on a set had it later after we finished and i was like bro the only way we can continue to perform this show is if everybody getting cover tests but you know if y'all did any production work in the last three months you got to get tested now they're not letting you come over but hey my point being there's some things going on there's some bootleg production going out there where they saying hey you know what they feel like hurt immunity you know bro that made you legit because my wife was like you don't go out you know because my wife has pretty conditions like how are you gonna go out and do what [ __ ] but when she saw everything that you were doing she gave him her blessing so anyway you rolled it out for the married men you know oh yeah i think what i've been on some sets when they was like all right we're gonna take covert precautions because you get on saying they're like go ahead and wash your hands real quick and then head to makeup oh yeah maybe bro some people be lying bro i was on a production a couple weeks ago the colvin officer had his mask under his beard i'm like bruh you supposed to be honest how are you about to be the one getting to take a break oh hilarious you know [ __ ] [Laughter] all right next up come here put your hands out real quick all right now rubbing together all right now make sure you rubble for 15 seconds though the worst part is though so the way it works you got to take the test tomorrow if you you can't even come inside you come inside and go take it and then wait in your car if you got it you just go back home like all right hey after i get my my negative result tomorrow i'm gonna go lick a door handle come back later they doing atlanta they're doing anal swabs in atlanta what do you mean what do you even mean that's at a certain club sean and you should know about that i'm going over there everybody you're not gonna expose us right i mean you you go big i took my test yesterday i mean today i think it says i'm good no i'm talking about anybody fails you're not going to come on the show be like hey he would have been here but he failed it's going to be evident i would say that at this point if you if you're here now and you don't perform tomorrow it's gonna be like oh [ __ ] he got it i mean i don't know it ain't herpes [ __ ] it's getting out you know like go chase me i ain't got no i'm not a doctor so we can't break hipaa like i'm not a doctor so i was like [ __ ] i don't have to say nothing it's just like he ain't coming to the stage hey i'm bringing a fake i'm bringing a fake nose we're going to swab a kid i'm swabbing the kid y'all crazy i'm getting this money y'all [ __ ] crazy so look i got a question let's say somebody does uh test positive you know somebody may really really need that money why don't you just let that [ __ ] do it from home [Laughter] no good point can you do that [Laughter] headphones back on back in again i can't hear you ever since you got your glasses with the reflection in the front ever since you got your glasses with the reflection in the front [ __ ] can't say nothing to you no mo bro i'm gonna tell a funny story i'm sorry to change the subject to hear i see before the pandemic you know i was swimming you don't say i hurt my back i was swimming [ __ ] kevin tate came in the gym i was swimming at i don't know why i felt mad vulnerable in the pool i seen tato i was like what's up man i was still doing this i was like let me get out and go lift weights it's just weird to steal when i was like i don't really want to be doing the best hey i was in the hot tub no i mean i felt weird about it i was like i should do some push-ups on the side of the pool or something and it wasn't nobody else in the whole sign the wet area but us it was like i guess hey kev was looking like a belly up stingray hey is it me or did kevin tate look like the [ __ ] that being in there with the cut-off shorts on in the pool first of all sean you ain't got your hair wet you ain't got your hair [Laughter] ty i know you're not eating mcdonald's chicken mcnuggets at your big age big hey did you say dick you are not dipping mcnuggets in there she don't know that [ __ ] made out of moose elbows i don't care i don't care it tastes good yolos [ __ ] yeah you only yodo too you only die once too [Laughter] so ty you flew you flew in for this yes okay so it's gonna be real [ __ ] up if you fail yeah that's gonna be real that you gotta stay here for another two weeks it's gonna be bad she's gonna be like i just live here now kids y'all when i get back i want to make sure that i'm safe i'm trying to protect my family do you take stuff from your quarantine do you take stuff when you quarantine you quarantine and what are you doing like are you taking medicine or you just sitting there waiting for the [ __ ] to leave i mean ain't no [ __ ] around anybody here i'm good hai is watching golden girls she is not doing nothing special but you know now this testing is going to be like you know what the fights when they wait when the way the fighters in and if they wait too much they over the weight limit this testing is going to be like that tomorrow all right step up on the uh i knew i should have got a deposit for this [ __ ] i knew it i knew i still i got time to go home and pray for a couple days like nah you ain't going away you about to find out right now anyone know that man i think the worst i think the worst part about catching eggs they think that you got it is that you gotta call everybody to have sex with uh i mean like what not the fact that you may not may die that ain't the worst part the worst part you got to call and tell everybody else you i tell you what i'm like i had the kobe in them i ain't going on my record with the hills bro i ain't going out with the monster bro it was the mom it was the code what i want to know real quick is man kev how you are you getting the the results back so fast man i mean that that was another thing you know like my wife is working on on the show she went in yesterday and she got the results back today like this morning you giving the results back that family they're gonna give it back that fast oh they got the they got the rapid well there's a couple of different tests but they've been they've been updating them excuse me so they got the pcr one and they got the rapid antigen one and you know they they just updated the the one that basically says do you have it right now so it's like four hours take four hours no this one takes like 15 20 minutes oh okay doug you sound like an old man how you work this uh thing well the first the first day that we took it i got maybe it was a different test i don't know the first day we took we had to wait four hours and then uh after that we took it every four days but we would take it like right before we start shooting and uh they would let us know we would get an email like a few hours later let us know why are we already filming but it was kind of it was it was borderline sound safe at all but it was borderline ridiculous but i understood why they had to do it because it's like all right we had to take three tests before we even got in the bubble and so we know everybody here is safe and then we had to still wear our mask still had to practice social distancing all of that [ __ ] and then we had to take it every four days and you couldn't leave i heard you couldn't leave the like though you could only go from the hotel to the to the hotel there was no hotel we had uh we stayed in these old houses you know his studio is a old confederate army base right so yeah so those houses uh you go in the basement of houses you could tell it was slaves down there oh wow it was like little like four little ass rooms and [ __ ] where they speak to us about them spirits name what they say to you man i don't know about those spirits but uh it was hard it was hard unfortunately the fortunate thing for naeem is he worked for tyler perry so he shot the whole season in a week and a half yeah man yo that's not even the exaggeration it was literally how do you memorize your lines how do you keep oh how do you keep all the lines in like that so we did two episodes a day right we shot for uh two weeks straight we only this [ __ ] is worse than the nfl it's hard now bro look so we only had sunday off and um for me for real bruh we got paid got us out of there but i'll say that uh i got really good at at memorizing my [ __ ] like right before we shot a scene so we rehearsed one time and i would be able to retain it so the night before i would read ever over everything so i know what's going on and then if you don't know your lines then you have somebody that'll you know on the microphone to tell your lines real quick it wasn't to the last day that i really really needed help because the day before the last day we did three episodes we were there 15 hours we had to get up early and shoot again the next day so your brain be just on some other [ __ ] man it's it's tough it's tough but they're good what are y'all trying to improve by shooting three episodes and are you going for a guinness reddit bro he has mastered the art of spending a little bit of money and making a lot of money you know it's like it's a good thing and a bad thing if you like are real you feel like you're a thespian then it's difficult because you want to get those those reps in you know but if you are somebody that's trying to work get your money and get the [ __ ] out of there and then you free to do other [ __ ] then it's it's great it's great so but you know what's funny he said that to you like you made the schedule like you went and said right i need somebody to blame and he's the only tangible person here so this [ __ ] got to get all my fury right well being as though we were in the bubble i was i was happy that we were you know in and out like that but i wish we were shooting every other day versus every day it was it was a very it was a grueling schedule bro it was really hard but how many episodes did you get out in that week and a half two weeks we shot 22 episodes quick question what was the process on letting your side [ __ ] come through in the bubble did she have to get tested as well bro tyler perry got to worry about my mental stability at surprise look there's a no fraternization rule up in there you can't even [ __ ] with the staff if you wanted to you know i mean what you wrong so a tad background mcdonald's clothes as hell that being her ass is in the hood wow teddy ray what's up [ __ ] what's up with y'all man how y'all feeling bro kid what's your cash app so i can change it for you right now me teddy ray lol okay i see you got on that shirt again again yes [ __ ] i'm the king of this i'm the king of this nigga's gonna stop clowning me like we all got washed that shirt that shirt as soon as i seen it i was like this is that shirt i'm aware the [ __ ] out of this nigga's gonna quit front like we ain't got washers and dryers my [ __ ] right [Laughter] this [ __ ] hey i'm glad we're here today to talk about wardrobes because your wardrobe all deaf comedy live was that [ __ ] i'll wear this twenty thousand more times let me find that picture for y'all but it was i don't know i don't know white t-shirt and i had on a leather perforated jacket perforated hoodie it was leather perfect i only hear that word on college rule note paper no that means it was the title perforated that [ __ ] was detachable you could take the hood off your [ __ ] it was detached here we go here we go right here oh [ __ ] it's going to be some [ __ ] no it was it was i could see why somebody would call it some [ __ ] but you know i felt like it was pretty stylish took a risk it was the way you can't walk it past [ __ ] they made that noise that was backstage was getting ready [Laughter] newton used to sit here what did you wear what did you wear i wore a button-down flannel and some jeans and some chucks like a real [ __ ] like biggie right right right you right you right quick i need to know is this is is this um the outfit that's in question right now is this it right here no that's another bad choice that's not insane listen you got it if you look at your fashion leather on wholesale and he's just had to get if you if you're into fashion you have to take risks you have to take risks now sometimes you make bad decisions or maybe it was good at that period but now they're not good anymore that's the question why name is saying that i ain't never posted these pictures because i ain't going to embarrass the dude i had a stylist one time in atlanta and he was like we're going to take some risks so here i'm going to text you these pictures you want to talk about some choices wow let's take some risks [Laughter] let's take some risks i've been trying to figure out how to post these on my instagram without her ain't really no way who is the picture of the pictures okay yeah let's see this [ __ ] and i was like wow i just because i was like man now do whatever you want bro cause i'll be born with my stuff so he pulled this stuff i was like oh snap so this is all we got today wow he had the areolas exposed i was only there for a day and i had already paid to do so them pictures was getting taken but they never got they didn't get posted like that you could always say no atlanta [ __ ] had you on some assless chaps you gotta be careful about that hey sean larkins [ __ ] will you get that what hotel lobby is you in [ __ ] this is called high-end uh furniture couture my [ __ ] hey that look look like what that [ __ ] sent me did to the apartment and coming to america then they got a hot tub in the living room and you said clean the place up [Laughter] hey hey hey cabernet they got this thing called frog tape so you can paint your edges without you know the paint just going all over the goddamn place hey you know how real that is [ __ ] this ain't even paint [ __ ] this is wrapping paper [ __ ] you thought this was pain look at these [ __ ] walk this is wrapping paper [ __ ] tears good my [ __ ] was paint though you thought it was paint i'm good thank you i did ain't gonna lie as long as somebody thought it was real that's all [ __ ] care about that's all i need to care about and i gotta keep moving my screen for y'all [ __ ] see teddy in the christmas spirit man i'm at my auntie house man she got the whole she got a choo-choo chain around here [Applause] oh that was you with the siren in the background that was your house that's where they sell christmas trees at you know and then it's like the [ __ ] is over here wow teddy you gonna sleep you're gonna sleep under the street tonight hell no sleep early like a thought [ __ ] marilyn monroe oh no wait wait wait i want to collect everybody together so we can look at these pictures of the group and laugh all right listen golly kevin oh my god oh wow wow i looked off on him too i was looking at him [Laughter] like it belongs to that body it doesn't look like an egg that's a green screen head right there hey low-key low-key hey low-key name like man i wear that hell is that the same jacket with the sleeve zipped up a whole different setup that was like like zipper sleeve that [ __ ] like zipper sleeves why did you believe in what he said yeah these boots are exactly what you need we gonna say man uh [Laughter] forever you know i have them i have them on my phone so you know a video is coming look at this they're gonna take they're gonna take you they're gonna outline your body [ __ ] they're gonna put you everywhere that you need to be on the side of a rocket man you you look like you work the pit crew for the west hollywood 500 [ __ ] how long ago was this what was this [Music] it's like two years ago i didn't even have the i didn't even have the beard yet this one these pictures you never use these pictures before here's one of them not not any of these i would use one from the from the shoot for a minute but no it's not let's use let's see the one that you actually used i'm gonna i'm gonna send it to here the one right here this is i need kevin wallpaper i need kevin wallpaper so i can take a picture and flick the sleeve that [ __ ] said you got anything with a lot of zippers in it i need that [ __ ] whatever kev tay had on the zone i need that so i can take a picture why you had your phone in your hand in the last one that part of the picture yeah i just think the one i used to hear and i and he had me another one in the suit too i look like a pastor i posted that one but oh my god one in the green to here that was my oh for a whole year oh yes yeah yeah what do you do he just he just do pastors photo shoots all day like that's what he's specializing in no not i'm not even lying he do pastors and gospel artists mostly i can tell and [Laughter] ain't no keyboard that's team your name out here come on man there's a lot going on in these streets brother katie if you would if you see brother keyboard could you have him threat i'm telling y'all i'm getting death threats the brother is loved he is loved oh bad brother look like the stage director that's the one i used for my head my head shot this one oh yeah i've seen that that's nice but what's all this coil on your arm extra fabric all that extra fabric teddy got a lot of when you don't know when you don't know what to do with your hands the gorty guy trail with the heavy sleeves let me get the gordy guard trail all right this is uh really this one is bad right like yeah baby the suit is textured it's like a polka dot red and black suit it's as if it wasn't enough then it added all this like this line all down the leg like what that's i was both crazy about wearing no socks i was like man i'd be wearing socks man that [ __ ] dressed like a selena back singer like [ __ ] like the photographer the photographer i'm saying lean in lean [Laughter] don't worry about that nobody noticed that brand i put in the background gonna offset all the other reds you know what type of question is that anyway anyway i'll be cool with the black shirts forever before i before i step out that far again let me ask y'all a question don't let nobody style you let me ask y'all a question is there a uh a period period that's 10 years or before that you look at an old picture of yourself and your outfit and was like that's still a nice outfit not for me i was out here back yeah i'm going to tell you guys let's look at the year 10 years a year that's 2010. um in the early 2000s every everything that marlon wins had on on the wayne's brothers that i wish would come back was throwback jerseys throwback jerseys i was like this is the best you can still wear them you just can't wear them to your [ __ ] knees anymore you gotta wait you can't wear them every day yeah and you and yeah and you got to wear them to a game or some [ __ ] but i got to be tight it got to be fit right bro it's got to be fit to you okay last tour when our last choice i was wearing in any city that we went to where i had a jersey for that city that was pretty cool yeah i had on the uh the old hank aaron joint wheels in atlanta uh i had on the driving petrovic [ __ ] when i was in jersey petrovic and petrovic i had a lot of a lot of jerseys ebay and bidding on [ __ ] that's not like yourself you got a bit off i had a hookup bagness bro i never forget no no this [ __ ] took and then i rolled with this [ __ ] shopping one day this [ __ ] this [ __ ] was buying all kinds of like [ __ ] when you gonna buy me stuff [ __ ] that's it right there that [ __ ] was buying all kinds of [ __ ] rodeo driving me and dante i remember that that [ __ ] was buying all types of scarf i'm trying to whisper the dante i'm like yo this [ __ ] got extra money [ __ ] can i just choose he like don't say nothing to him let him facts i remember that [ __ ] that [ __ ] was getting money back in the day so you wanted that [ __ ] to have a pretty woman moment with you whatever yeah yeah yeah [ __ ] gave me something [Laughter] i bought a jacket from um bally's yeah that's yeah that's what he's shopping ass real [ __ ] go to the mall and go get what they getting leave now he's like no i ain't sitting here let's go to the next store like that's me too i ain't gonna lie let me tell you something though i'll be bawling on a budget i'll be at cabazon i'd be at the outlets getting it in bro i'll be getting it in at the outlet i went to outlet uh the weekend before thanksgiving and um i think i spent maybe like i might spend like three thousand dollars but the [ __ ] that i bought probably cost like ten thousand dollars like maybe not that much but it was more than double because i bought i bought my lady a bag that was like 3 700 alone that came it was it was on sale for 1100 right and she was equally as appreciative she ain't had no 1100 type of appreciation she had 3700 type appreciation yeah you think that's still a nice fit you you look [Laughter] in the military but why is that [ __ ] on his knees in front of you i can't i can't direct a [ __ ] you can say get out of the way [Laughter] oh [Music] okay you keep snatching the picture away fast as [ __ ] cuz can we look at your picture he snatched that [ __ ] down quick like look [ __ ] it man but why is that holding wrist though like this it was it was supposed to be like a voltron it was all in all in typing he should have put his hand on top of yours not hold your wrist [Laughter] like now the poses really is where i thought don't put your [ __ ] up no the question was do you have an outfit that was from 10 years or before where you you can look at it now and say that was a nice outfit i still could wear that i wouldn't know i could wear i could wear the turtleneck with the cardigan i could do that i found one maybe like a car shirt or something i had a couple of car shirts send it to me tom uh i'm out i sent it to you uh how long ago was that yes what's up chad in 2000 hey teddy that was in 2010 asymmetrical i guarantee you asymmetrical haircut okay symmetrical haircut all right you won't die you can't say [ __ ] for 10 minutes teddy hey i gotta come over there auntie house i know that fool good than a [ __ ] over there look at all that man she making like no that's an array of leftovers right now it was like an assortment of leftovers that's true i'm gonna go next and then i'll show ties after that here we go all right uh [ __ ] let me close this [ __ ] real quick yeah 10 years and before and here we go with the first one boom take it in [ __ ] oh [ __ ] [Music] never stop downloading i want to give you a compliment on this jacket but it's hard it's hard i got to see how it fit you got to see the pants um on the back of his jeans it looked like he was on your way to a crime mob concert right here not that was you twice three times it's one in the background [ __ ] you look like a youth pastor on that one [Laughter] oh [ __ ] okay all right i'm gonna i'm gonna show y'all what toss it i'm gonna show y'all exactly she ain't even playing fair teddy we're looking in pictures y'all don't show the [ __ ] you can text it to me and i'll throw it up on my screen oh [ __ ] this last one though this one yeah let me see this last one though okay hold on let me let me send it to the computer real quick actually let me let me switch the salad boom boom boom boom all right there you know you got to go to facebook to get the [ __ ] that's where i'm at right now you got to go on facebook that's not done they're trying to pull this pictures out of a photo album man you don't pull them shits out just to the side you know what i don't have access to anything yeah okay that [ __ ] that [ __ ] doug got all his cassette tapes [ __ ] okay let me go here so todd ty ty tried to try to play funny style right she said she said real pictures right mm-hmm but here's the thing here's the thing hold on wait hold on though and you're slow like that before she learned how to pose like that there was this there was this right here oh now she's definitely holding that gun in on that one i can see it don't breathe breathe hey you went too fast bro i wanted to look at the iron cheek she had on her feet but go ahead if you want to scroll go ahead brother look like the ladies look at them these yeah them was hurt bro that's from dazzle you ain't down yeah you look you look like the [ __ ] who baby daddy said i got this is that the black panther uh tattoo on your thigh uh oh no it's it's it's it's a it's it's it's something oh okay there's some paint behind that there's some paintings but but you look good you're looking good on there buddy i would still wear that that's when she worked at the car center christmas party respect me [Music] and i'm going through my facebook i don't even got to go back 10 years and i'm like well what was you doing in 2013 like i definitely had some bad years in between but i i found some [ __ ] from 0809 what is wrong with you over there good to see everybody hope you guys and girls are incredible we're going through old pictures man crack up your phone and shoot me some pictures that will not happen to you more i don't know what to hear they gave me the business yeah you can put it in the group come on man you've been in the game forever bro go back and get them pictures bro no sir not gonna happen i wish i could help you guys all right i'ma send you another one to here wow let's put in the group chat time i'm gonna add to here right now all right first of all look how wide my legs was my pants was on this picture right here can y'all say that no no no no no no take not send that to me don't don't try to do that how do you do it just put it in the group uh this is my laptop my [ __ ] i'm on the phone and the laptop what we do email it to me you got my phone god damn it we real friends if i got your email address we real friends [Music] had six different haircuts in the past 10 years the past six months what's up clayton [ __ ] though google it google something that's not necessary guys how's everybody doing man everybody's live hey that [ __ ] taylor just just text clay where you get that hoodie from bro [Laughter] got that onesie in the middle baby yeah i got three onesies in the mail baby i'm the one that's not a onesie hey that's not a onesie that's all week long every every every video i've seen him in he's been in the onesie yo clayton ain't no [ __ ] real super super super skinny [ __ ] bruh he's not stupid so why are you using somebody [Laughter] what they call it a thumpy [ __ ] got a one a rock a romper that's what they call it what is that playhouse no that's what he said it's a romper bro here we go all right here we go oh look at her 97. that's them thoughts this finger looks longer [ __ ] are still oh [ __ ] this [ __ ] got the boot cut on [ __ ] yeah you know he's stepping on his pants bro hey the back of the pants is so [ __ ] up must be life oh look at this [Laughter] that shirt [Music] you always been buff you always been kind of like stocky like no that's when i first started working out right there in that picture i used to be i know i got i got a a crack head pitcher from about 07. something like that uh i was about 155. i find that wow is this what you had how much you weigh dough man i thought what's up with it bro i don't know if you remember me used to come kick it on my block sometimes when i was a kid sometimes i think you had another q brother that lived on my block i stayed on sick aboard pick up more oh my goodness y'all played too much man y'all played too much bro nah cuz i would walk by and i'd be like oh that's the [ __ ] from first amendment like i would be like you know what i thought you were joking around but yeah my friend chris uh chris used to live over there i used to be over there like he got a good memory yeah i did bro you used to be on my block i thought you lived there and then i asked you you was like nah don't quit talking to me yeah i used to be over there a lot yeah i used to be over there no i don't live over there you know the white man gentrified okay you see john did y'all checking did y'all check him when he was over there like were you from cuz you gotta do that nah nah because we were on sycamore on on this side it's the whites that's the positive side second you get the pico that's what you let me see this picture let me see this picture post it the no limit soldier i wasn't playing [Music] wow you look like everybody hates cribs this [ __ ] was like still in shape back then [ __ ] i was eight [ __ ] hey [ __ ] there i go this picture should know every mystical song that's out man she got molested by mystical in that outfit but she didn't say that but she didn't say nothing ain't nobody gonna say that about that cigarette burn on her shoulder [Laughter] [Laughter] kiddos i ain't heard the name carrie kiddos who was in the background though look at teddy right here in the background behind me and i could be in this picture i can't wait oh [ __ ] you look like you're on the blue collar comedy tour [ __ ] [Laughter] ain't the last chocolate chip who ain't hungry look at that hat that happened [Music] right there okay about here hold up oh supposed to pick a picture of doug this [ __ ] got on the shamar more wig from time to pace let's not it was backstage at one of our plays i thought i was killing it they look like they get a family special announcement for you before you walk in like you know you have a little special freedom no different again is that tony looking at that little east coast [Music] damn without without miss francis you look like you manager pacsun [Laughter] the shoes right here was wrong the shoes was terrible i was like this is the duality of kev i got the youth pastor and then i do stand up and i got it look like you for the astronauts [Music] i really wore glasses you weren't even these were prescription glasses oh [ __ ] hold on we'll be sending the pictures to the to the zoom private jet okay look the hat the hat had the gray and the burgundy and then the jacket had to bring the burgundy man go back to the orange sweater guy with the with the car goes the orange sweater with the carpet go back to that seat i would have pulled you to the side as a janitor like hey man you look terrible bro if i was sweeping up you you look like the you like assistant principal and you're talking to the kids like who the hell put a bomb in that toilet yo i thought i was killing this this is like 2012. all these visions from 2012. give me some extra large pants and a minute i was like you didn't like anything that fit nothing in your size this was very youth pastor-ish the outfit goes for what he was doing i gave him that what i was doing at the you see the camera i guarantee when he got home after that show because you see us at nate jackson super funny comedy show he said his prayers before he went to sleep [Laughter] that was like that was like two weeks after he got saved he was still cussing [Music] [Laughter] [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] okay so here there's one in here where ty looking like an assistant principal in industry i gotta get him intercity school oh my god yo my head won't stop hurting right now this ah y'all are oh this is terrible to hear y'all i mean man no oh this is ridiculous y'all are wow tell us where they said i don't see it i want to see it yeah i don't see it it's coming right now let me send it to the computer right now here you need a producer you're doing all this at the same time you hosting you got the audience at the same time bro oh man dog this [Laughter] yo all right so first up first up uh the guy's like oh i can't get into nothing right where y'all [ __ ] say that yeah we found the playboy don't be worried about it don't even worry about it play boy that's the shamar more wig bro just put it on we [Music] out of prison i swear the next words that came on his mouth was like you think i want this man if this happens [Laughter] how long y'all gonna blame me for my past [Laughter] what you mean right here i think you think he's super fun in every picture i go back to that cat you understand me how you trying to get back to that question the but i'm still here he cut my peak off and i was trying my best to act like it was still a good cut i remember that i remember that moment he was rocking the peak too oh yeah that's when i grew my hair out right there wait you can really do too much with your hair it's really impressive nick cannon is either on a medication or drunken [ __ ] and don't want to take that picture no you that's when he he's like man nick can i please get on wild out here but you can have his headphones no but you could have these headphones y'all he looked like the last member of lsg clearly you're clearly going bald in this [ __ ] they got a wig [Music] that [ __ ] been winning toupee for the last five years i've never seen a man crystal he said let me get the 10 piece suit extra glossy [Laughter] hey come on wow come on bro that's jack in the box jeans bro jack of the box jeez man hey let me get a sourdough jack and a [Laughter] how old is sean larkin [Applause] [Laughter] i don't know if it's a if it's a shirt or a jacket or is it shocking this is the moment that house party said hey man we had to decide to go a different way this is a this is a club shirt this was for sure 1990 or 91 definitely that was definitely a bathroom concert boy that was a skating shirt that [ __ ] would go skating and unhook the first three buttons and scoot it back so the wind will blow [ __ ] look at that oh he was gonna get a here go ty assistant principal baltimore city can you tell me how to be a comedian baltimore i came to the show said i just need a break from the kids man y'all did a great job this is this isn't even that long ago this is within the last four years jesus christ it's my face you know everybody knows i got face problems man ty crying on the inside on this picture todd this looks like a first day you just called in sick on friday like i can't go you just failed six students before you came to that company oh my god [Applause] [Music] thomas promised promise that you'll never [Laughter] the very first time [Laughter] oh it's like somebody cut up an old timberland boot and patched it on a shirt but look how high his pants is come on [Laughter] why is there so much gene on top of the [Applause] club he's killing them [Laughter] [Music] oh killed emma teal man hey i'll put it like this i'm 51 and doug was still my middle school teacher from 1983 73 it was then was 1989 or 90 though foreign you though at that time that [ __ ] shine was killing the dog wardrobe oh my god oh man thank you so much for asking that question i've never i've not done a part of that long oh my god those were our hardest clothes to part with at a garage sale ever i can imagine no no no don't don't don't put that in there don't put that in the pile don't put out that way pick it i don't even know what up doing out here them some exhaust genes give me seven dollars selling my exhaust for two dollars i don't even know what that's doing out put these out here no wife and girlfriend try three garage sales in a row to get rid of your [ __ ] wide leg they go by [Laughter] hey me and doug definitely had a merry-go-round credit card i know that oh yeah what's that because you're my age what is it hey if i'm going down you're going down with me so you know doug chilling he said you know what i'm grown give me the big v-neck give me the capital v why y'all [ __ ] around that outfit on your wall back there is a bad outfit too doug the one you did tv and that that right there is a you got a chain on them on your jeans when people give you you have to wear it so you know that that you know i i win by default on that don't got a lot of say-so man baby baby making it feel like you ain't got no choice right what you see all that stuff like that oh man that i had to wear for the show that man that was just great that was that was that was fun so that was so funny right now i think teddy said his phone died damn ain't they using all electricity on them has christmas lights in this house don't waste all that [ __ ] all you gotta do is rub his phone on that shirt that [ __ ] with the child put it in that front pocket on that [ __ ] [Laughter] [Music] that's dope man domain out of pocket oh [ __ ] ain't nothing better than talking about [ __ ] that ain't here ain't it right hey what you doing with your hair [ __ ] hey what you doing do you got dre what's going on with your [ __ ] you fri what you doing man look at this [ __ ] here would you look at this [ __ ] that's a crispy lineup man that [ __ ] back there though look to the side [ __ ] my mom still got a handful of hair and go off of your mom your mom got hair you'll be good trust me no go off your mother's side not your mom ain't no mother [ __ ] mom's walking around with a bald spot in the middle mom's side depending on what church you go to a couple of them and [ __ ] like paint what you gotta paint and i'm gonna chill yeah this [ __ ] kev is shooting everybody hey clayton you wanna hear they killed me this ain't paint this is wrapping paper [ __ ] for christmas my girl's tripping right now [ __ ] like you losing it for that whole ass zoom and [ __ ] you know what it was like it was it was his headphones he got the weak weak-ass headphones out of a [ __ ] vending machine and then giving us all the feedback you're not supporting them headphones with bluetooth and got a cord on [Laughter] motivate everybody be yourself out loud that's what it is i think at some point on the shirt you should say that you can't make an acronym out of me [ __ ] i think you made an accurate amount of me why not though right motivation hey but now you got a silhouette of yourself on a damn [ __ ] right you're right you're right you goddamn right you ain't told no if you if you do an acronym it got to be at least three letters [ __ ] that's like someone having a shirt they say it and they say it should say too intelligent [ __ ] i thought it i thought it was medieval i didn't know what the me stood for that's hilarious man that's what it is hey matter of fact though hey listen i want to say thank you though man this [ __ ] man this [ __ ] crazy y'all play too much man like [ __ ] i love how you trying to get the heat off yourself real quick i clicked on the website and you know i move that [ __ ] tomorrow i just want to get my [ __ ] uh [Laughter] they won't take no damage you just got to show them your flight when they was when they do that stuff you just you go back and tell your boy well they don't even they don't take the debit [Laughter] you i put myself on the grill i ain't gonna hold you i gave you guys some gold right now so i'm gonna let y'all go through it but i'm gonna go fast as [ __ ] to hear that one you had looked like you had just got cut from arrested [Laughter] development [Laughter] oh oh i can take this corner and make it disappears all day in the barber shop he don't never really get his haircut he just he's like chiming in the conversations yeah what are you playing chess in the barbershop for it ain't sanitary one of y'all [ __ ] jeans is that my [ __ ] say cuff this so it can match my collar my [ __ ] cuff the jeans [ __ ] this look at your first day in the foi he's definitely the [ __ ] to sit at the barbershop just to jump in people conversation yeah that's the problem with y'all y'all don't keep y'all appointments so i got a question i got a question butterfly knife like ah did you get those shoes from the store that you stand in front of it [ __ ] just a little bit more nelly and the saint lunatics was on top of the billboard when you put this outfit you don't get your young m.a looking ass [Laughter] man kept me pumping in my air force one [Laughter] look at it look at no beer that's immersed with no beer my [ __ ] wow how long is this that had to be 2013 somewhere around that bro bro that [ __ ] look at that baby both of them [ __ ] is under five five two team murphy's short both of them make it short damn um what is that and this is why i should be released from prison right exactly this [ __ ] to the judge served my time and what i would like to do is show love to my community by volunteering at hospitals and reading children i've been writing children's books [Laughter] i was a full-fledged lesbian at that time oh my god i would never stalk my boyfriend again for that oh come on to here that's a dope jacket though that they say give me all the [ __ ] brown leather you can get damn it a whole family of cows die for you i feel like you and the other guy with the brown leather jacket had beef and that's why i stood apart from each other because i had to say and then they got a lazy boy i'll do them oh to here i feel like the pancakes you make are the best in town i don't forget i don't spaghetti straps i need the widest v you can give me give me the widest feet here most likely to get caught touching himself in class look at it mr moore get your hands off your pocket with y'all to learn algebra today boy you gotta work in that morning that morning it had to wear that [ __ ] put a hand right here put a headband on going in there that's a headband bro boy you shared cereal milk that morning here's the craziest thing they not even brave there was twist there was twist going straight to the back that's why i had the head back oh my [Laughter] [Music] and haku [Music] fellaini what it is you got to buy the knives first and then you can sell yours [Laughter] and not like a big [ __ ] wearing [ __ ] horizontal stripes the crazy [ __ ] is this is not even a holiday this is a regular day crazy [ __ ] looking like you're getting on stage spiderman don't have a cape i wanted a superman outfit they didn't have the so i just got the spider-man and i got the cape to just blend the two boy you dressed like you dressed like kev on stage [ __ ] with no baby [Music] necklace [ __ ] showing the age with these [ __ ] with the puka shell one arm off why your lapel that big your grandfather said put this on first of all i want to i'm not even reasons i would say a mad respect for your mother for pushing that head out of europe oh my god this [ __ ] clayton knows a [ __ ] that head out of your mother she deserves a present every month sean look the punchline only been open for three years this [ __ ] this is reason to the [ __ ] it's high i thought i was cute in that i thought okay you you look like you left your kids with your mom just take them down there what you give them they'll go to sleep her kids are actually in the car right now okay now cause you freya canine and my jeans this one is cool you a little knock kneed but this [ __ ] um you gotta teal what that i like the outfit ty your knees look like they dabbing each other up like what's up she's like okay she got she legs [Laughter] that's definitely a brunch outfit y'all [ __ ] gonna find something wrong with everything but that belt don't come off though they take the wedges okay with the outfit though [ __ ] that's straight charlotte russe [ __ ] h m thank you that was when i was on the tour when i was working for truth the smoking awareness campaign so i was just telling them about the tour [ __ ] that [ __ ] doug went to bed no he said he had a chip oh okay he said he went to bed that [ __ ] over there listening to walking with a panther [Laughter] girl got over here and turned on some hurry harry [ __ ] was like this is enough like these guys are immature ain't got time for this i came to do a comedy show i ain't coming over here you talking all this jibber jabber all this bump in your gums oh put it [Laughter] my [ __ ] bay area comedy competition little pamphlet your ass was giving a [ __ ] uh you and old 13 you was giving like a seminar my [ __ ] wait a minute dude oh [Laughter] away 2012 [ __ ] i had a big that was killing in tacoma i used to pour water on myself and do an r b joke when i tell you people in oakland did not think that was funny at all hey i was first of all the water was freezing they went from kind of laughing to not laughing at all now i'm just standing there wet like oh for sure i definitely didn't make it to the next round i literally walked it i didn't [Laughter] so what i'm going to do is focus on youtube i think everybody got some time and i think i think the only person that got more timing to me is probably sean how many years you got in shawn 25 65 i got what you said first time i got on stage was 98 i go by the real you know [ __ ] be like nah i started when i started making money the first time i got on i used to come i used to come to philly do the laugh house and that's when kevin hart had that room on sweet cheeks on the boardwalk oh my god one at one in the morning on saturday night i hosted that [ __ ] a few times that was that was that was one of the worst spot comedy spots i've ever done in my life [ __ ] it's kind of ironic every thug in new jersey was in that [ __ ] atlantic city is stuck the [ __ ] out by the way people think this is called sweet man it really is though atlantic city is the ghetto uh boardwalk empire is about atlantic city oh come on sam i didn't send you this this [ __ ] they wanted to make their final season ethnicity i didn't send you this this is disrespectful he kept looking in the camera oh come on [Laughter] remember what is going on here clayton is the sexiest [ __ ] that ever lived according to him ask that [ __ ] you know a [ __ ] sexier than you no sir i wish i did love it that was one of my onesies how about that onesie like baby is [Music] hey i got to get the [ __ ] on man i love y'all clayton thomas all right man respect to y'all if you pass the test [ __ ] hey this [Laughter] take your [Applause] audition tape to losing isaiah [Laughter] but that was before i did comedy that was before comedy she sent this selfie to the dude like i can't meet your mama now you should go back to the show here i like this show here on you or do you still have it under that wig not a wig i wonder who made the decision like hey i'ma squat in this one y'all just stand up these don't even look like regular colors that are on earth right here [Laughter] how many of these [ __ ] dead in this picture they all they all [ __ ] we was nerds man oh this [ __ ] with the pink shirt on that [ __ ] not alive no more [Laughter] no way [Music] he's not alive anymore bro he went on for the role of mr clark and he signed up i was thinking the exact same tree that's definitely joe cox levios [Laughter] 48 in that picture okay my [ __ ] [Music] next time we doing a crossword puzzle i promise i promise um everybody on here been doing uh stand up for what like upward of 15 like 15 years plus i don't know you kind of the first time you did stand up or when you like took it seriously or i say the first time yeah i count from the first time i did it i count from when i was doing it consistently like i had got on stage once before high school graduation and then the following year i never stopped doing stand-ups i only been doing it almost 16. yeah for the first time in high school at a church talent show then i didn't do it i just did it for like like a dare and then i did it again like once or twice in college but i didn't really start for real until like 20 20 12. i wasn't even thinking about it i just did it like you know what i'm saying i don't know if that counts i just did it once and then stopped for like three years the first year i performed i performed four times that year and i was i was in college and then uh you know just started picking up more and more because i like when i started i just never stopped like this year is the longest that i've ever been off stage i hit six years last month oh yeah congratulations man this year is an aberration i'd be like this is never going this long i don't think i i the worst part is i don't even think i took stanley for granted i just didn't appreciate oh i could go to tahrir's room or i'm a papa i like i was just but i was doing that i wasn't like not doing that i just didn't appreciate how much fun that was you can't even do it maybe you know how bad i would be just for five minutes at the union with 115 people in there right now i think i'll kick a baby over for that [ __ ] we didn't appreciate nothing we didn't appreciate being able to go to a restaurant and have a [ __ ] lunch bruh without a mask y'all see that the uh the some people that took the test they got uh bell's palsy did you see that [ __ ] i saw that but i couldn't bear it i didn't see that from any reputable sites i saw it on a couple like weird sites but i didn't see it on the like i checked because i seen it it was the vaccine right pfizer they gave him the vaccine and people people got bell's palsy they they face is slumped on one side what but the fda won't admit that it's from the vaccine but of course the people that took the vaccine yeah just like they just like they they say that people that died with covet died from covet oh yeah they were uh they inflated them numbers yeah there's some irregularities uh with that why can't why can't ever be no good side effects you know they get taller or some [ __ ] yeah they grow i need all that i need all the positives here what if they had apply tooth and they would just immediately know which that would be as crazy as like you taking it and your hair growing back on your head and for your own people oh man be your own people this is getting better that was personal that's what i missed most of barbara going to the barber sitting down in that seat putting it up to my line and then we talking y'all [ __ ] in your house that's what ten minutes i mean no no you missing it he's basically just still shooting on him not having hair this isn't even about house causing a bar he's just talking i know i was like but yeah that [ __ ] can't afford house cars we used to work at all depth digital and kev had his barber coming up to all depth digital cut his head that's what you like why are you still going to hear i was on we was i was on tour remember i was i was still working you had gotten laid off so i had my so i was working so i didn't have time to go to the barber shop i know you had plenty of time on your hands anytime we say [ __ ] ct leaves he got to protect his bread why you fire him what happened i can't be a partner i did not fire him bro he got laid off they made me i had laid off like 12 people that week you don't see a lot of them on doing the homies complaining every time people got loud listen this what happened kev told me on monday that he was going to have to let me and meg go or he was gonna have to end the drop the drop was the show that we did he's like so i'm ending the drive so we can keep y'all jobs we like cool thank you we'll figure it out right friday comes we finished the drop it's the last episode of the drop as soon as we say cut all right pope care pops his head in the room can i talk to you for a second the two two fingers it never resulted in good good news right i go to room kevin's like [ __ ] i gotta let you go okay hey nobody ever got fired by saying i gotta let you go cut though that's the that was the powers that be who told me on monday if we if we cancel the drop to here and then we'll have a job and then on friday morning when they was going to shoot they did me like that hey let me call at you it was like you gotta let him go and like eight other people i fired an intern that stayed the whole day telling each individual person he got fired we was like bro now after he fired people you like your turn [ __ ] you done too man you believe they fired me man you got to go home you can't stay here bro i told you this like at 9 30 they wanted me to go but as i was packing up my gun fell out they was like you could stay in lux [Laughter] run in my bag one time and he made the biggest scene in front of everybody i'm like bro don't do don't don't do don't do that why would you do that i told him not to look in the bag i was going to get my car i had got got some work done on one of my vehicles at the time this is why it was like 10 years ago right i had my bag in his apartment because we were shooting at his apartment hey don't touch this bag just leave it over here cool he goes in the bag he's like what do you need that from you from detroit you know what i need that from you know everybody outside it was unnecessary clayton is what i'm saying uh todd naim clayton kevin what are we what are we doing how are we closing this up uh we just we say the thank yous if anybody hit your cash app you can tell them that you telling them about the show tomorrow and you can also tell them about what you got going on where they can find you all right so yeah uh appreciate my i had like four three or four four out of five people hit my cash app i sure appreciate that man yeah that guy give me a go get my breakfast in the morning uh you can hit me on instagram it's sean underscore larkins s-e-a-n underscore larkins um right now well you know the comedy slow i'm still working at cbs but you know i'm ricky smiley getting back on the road so i'm on doing some dates with him what are you doing tomorrow with kev on stage let me let me get let's get to this goddammit i do have this little show tomorrow um i got this little internet show but y'all want to check that out pacific okay west coast gotcha pst est all right cool uh what uh uh what you got time um well first as always thank you to here um and it was so good to see you guys i can't wait to see you tomorrow and kevin says i think you're super dope and um i want to thank victoria nikia kim allen taking the stage josh dante salty owl okay h2o bread um and le baron for the cash out donations if anything else came out um what i don't know you ain't even say [ __ ] how the [ __ ] you get on hello [Music] donations i appreciate you the reason that they said to this because i'm super cute or whatever and um they like me yam fam my yamly always pulling up checking in with me if you're on uh instagram follow me at comedian ty davis if you're on clubhouse clubhouse oprah will be uh starting in about 15 to 20 minutes so hit me on clubhouse and um yeah i'm looking forward to tomorrow so uh yeah yeah yeah i'll see you tomorrow okay bye all right uh what you got name i would like to thank the two people that sent me a cash oh they coming they're coming in again see because because i they know i felt bad it's three things now he was like yo i just bought 16 pickup trucks all of them no that's the problem you put you put my life out there in the beginning of the show so there's like money you got to earn a hat plastic cup boy you're wearing the hat oh my god you performed in a football theater don't nobody cares don't know about sports at all that's where they show the game after they played it i want to give a shout out to earnest thing for five dollars miss hype sent me five dollars and some [ __ ] named lebaron sent me twenty five dollars brother i appreciate that uh i'm gonna let the owner of a popcorn world it's a black hole they got jerk they got crab leg they got a spicy dill pickle barbecue ranch you better midwest you like a michigan area ohio but listen if you buy something there and you don't like it i will reimburse your money uh i believe in it i wouldn't i wouldn't do that if i didn't like it then i just i just would just not no no no no because i'm vouching for and i'm putting my i put my name my good word and my money on the line if you didn't like it i would reimburse you for it that's how much i believe it it's good i i believe it and when when i find out where he is then i'm gonna make sure when i'm in that area i get some and the cash apps are coming in and they come in heavy too thank you abney thank you uh sonitane and i appreciate y'all for that extra bread right there um i will be in uh at the st louis helium comedy club next weekend to here tell your people and uh okay all right and um uh if you haven't seen my show yet it comes on every wednesday at 8 30. it's called assisted living comes on bt yeah and um and the show's getting getting better and better i i must say and uh you can follow me on instagram and twitter uh at nayeen the star n-a-i-m-t-h-e-s-t-a-r i appreciate y'all man and can't wait to see you guys tomorrow kev thank you for uh doing this dope show and uh you are innovative brother keep doing your thing thank you man hey there in uh gary indiana yeah popcorn where's gary in it but the website is doing the world of flavor this that [ __ ] right here what's up bro that's why i don't like putting my cash app on [ __ ] with the request requested two hundred dollars that you would just get it because you like cinema virus this blogger just block but screenshot it first so i can block a tool so he won't hit me up yup i blocks it's uh keith j99 they should say potential scam of course it's a damn scam yeah glad you read glad you agreed brother yes cti all about voluntary mandatory vacations uh what you what you got uh ct uh first and foremost to hear more thank you for allowing me to come on zoom with the homies it's always something that brings me great anxiety i'm always nervous to do it um kev on stage i would genuinely from the bottom of my heart like to tell you thank you for including me on your show man i am a major fan of everything that you do you are one cat that inspires the [ __ ] out of me as far as i know you have the answers for the things that i am about to do and always anyway uh tomorrow will be the last show that i do for quite some time it is the keep your distance show um you could go on keepyourdistance.com use the promo code ct if you would like um it's definitely gonna be an incredible time i'm excited to do it and be a part of history from the studio head himself kev on stage to hear more always a pleasure uh go to the patreon guys just hit the patreon check out one of the seven shows i just created for you all right thank you kevin what do you have on mate uh appreciate y'all for for tapping in please support uh the keep your distance show tomorrow uh all the money from this show is reinvested into the the app that we launched kevin stage studios uh literally all the money from this show is going to we just got a new office or soundstage with offices so we got to outfit that with sound equipment and um you know lighting tracks and pay the rent for for a year we signed a five-year lease so if it don't work when i think we closing those businesses uh don't do that don't even go there you're good yeah uh so uh buy a ticket that's where your money's going the app is out now all the content starts rolling officially on christmas day but i'm literally getting ready to upload the first episode of keep your distance comedy just got finished editing uh color corrected and i'm gonna watch it one more time and put that up so please check that out support black creators um while we continue to navigate hollywood and make our own way in the world so appreciate y'all uh get a ticket to the show tomorrow please the last one for a year i don't know when we'll bring it back in january it's quite more expensive because of covid to have to pay for everybody to get tested it's way more expensive than it was a couple weeks ago so please get a ticket because i don't know also everybody use the uh code passcode sean so use that code if you want everybody's name here's the thing there's no place for you to put a passcode because it's not a video game but if you want to use the promo code you know what the hell i'm talking about yeah just use mobster because sean spells his name the ridiculous way the s-e-a-n i was named after sean connery thank you uh he stands anyway listen um i want to give a shout out to uh the more mob scary squad uh my patreon i appreciate all you guys man thank you so much good shout out to my homie young deuces man check out young duces he got uh uh geeked out over there his podcast and um he got a lot of stuff going on over there so make sure y'all check in tap it with the homie uh i appreciate it to lawrence lebaron one fire rabbit lamar hampton ebony h2o salty ow ebony again taking the stage uh victoria josh ebony omar uh thank you so much for the donations definitely appreciate you uh big shout out to all my guests i pulled up tonight uh make sure if you haven't already get your tickets for the keep your distance comedy show uh you use the promo code mobster m-o-b-s-t-e-r you get three dollars off it's more more more often than any other promo codes so definitely use mine um shut up uh today was a new episode of uh dammit that you scared yesterday we dropped a new episode of working it's hard and the day before that with a new episode of more to the story so make sure you check all of those out uh squad cast came out on monday we appreciate you guys so much thank you for uh tapping in big shout out to the rewatch game man they tune in every uh night and they catch it after the show has ended they watch it from the beginning so i appreciate you guys uh rest in peace tiny zeus lester and uh next week next week is the last week uh zooming with the homies for the year so make sure you guys alright well damn yeah man thank you man looking forward to it what you guys see i just wanted to ask i don't know if you addressed this i i was uh later um the microphone it seems to give great you know pick up great audio but what's that about what do you mean what is it about what a microphone is about a little microphone that you got yeah it's just really uh small it's not a microphone ct show him to hear no stop lying here show him yeah he got me with that [ __ ] too i thought we were friends to here play they're lying okay i know where you live at brother don't listen to that i was in your wedding don't listen who are you what did i what what's this why did they sound like threats i was just asking a question you don't believe me or this bald head guy okay jesus christ this is a real microphone don't worry about what kev says don't rub your head you're still bald ladies and gentlemen thank god what is happening it will be like it was gonna be some hair there thank y'all for tuning in for another episode of zooming with the homies i love you all so much man thank y'all for tapping in and watching we'll see you next week on the new episode and we see you tomorrow on keep your distance comedy show

Channel: Tahir Moore

Views: 64,717

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Id: qCpZrWrBnS4

Length: 130min 45sec (7845 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 11 2020