World Cup Tat | Ashens

hello how's about that national sports team a folks yes its World Cup time again where all the countries of the world would give a [ __ ] about football stroke soccer for some reason hint money come together and send forward their best footballing men to kick balls each other until one team doesn't lose and that team is very rarely England and indeed it's not going to be again this year by the looks of it which is a shame because football is a massively popular thing in this country but our national team does seem to be a load of embarrassing [ __ ] I'm not an expert on the subjects but the play two games against Italy and Uruguay and lost them both then they lost another match to a dog which just ran on the pitch and started chasing the ball around but there we are you can't actually expect much from the England team I suppose because they're not paid much money and they're not really treated very well ah ah ah oh oh sorry my tongue just went through my cheek seriously I don't know about the selection processes for these people I think somebody just runs around a special-needs school with a big net anyway the foreigners amongst you may be thinking my god bloody soccer I don't know is there anything more tedious than soccer the answer is yes cricket but hey we're not here to discuss sports we're here to laugh at the TAT which fills up Poundland in other shops when the World Cup is going on patriotic tat if you will the difference being often it will have a Union Jack on now it just has the England flag on which for the uninitiated is basically a white background with a red cross on it kind of like a Union Jack we'll the interesting bits removed which sounds like political satire about the upcoming Scottish independence referendum but isn't anyway let's have a look at what we've got shall we and I'll tell you what the first thing we have is very generic packaging Poundland themselves are coming forward with the big event yep it's got to the stage now where they just want to make a load of vaguely patriotic crap keep in a warehouse for years and then just spew it out whenever there's anything vaguely relevant going on like a World Cup or a racist March or something out of them anyway let's begin with noisy stuff specifically a hand clapper mmm it doesn't actually clap your hands does have not three set onions and almost nothing else on the back but Ready Steady clap there we are if your coordination is so bad you can't even cat lap your frickin hands together you can just get one of these ends that was remarkably impressive right um heard yeah right gotcha I think actually this needs to be pushed up a little bit more doesn't it yes I think that is a thing where clap once and then it dies just like something else we don't maybe there we go sorry about this headphone users bloody hell that's probably peaking on the microphone oh but man I really don't see the point of that you just want to make a load of money like an idiot all that means is drunk people will be doing it in the middle of street if England win a match in other words they won't be doing it the only thing they get bonus points for is whilst it is a horrible mutant attempt at a hand at least it's not symmetrical look it does have a little finger and a thumb there they could have saved money see by having it symmetrical using the same piece both sides yeah but they didn't what does seem quite good as you can move this down like it was before and then horribly injured people with it by waving it around there we are actually now that we've [ __ ] up the World Cup beyond all recognition for England I suppose we've got to come up with alternate uses for these um I reckon salad tongs tremendous there we are now I haven't wasted my pad next up on the big event let's party with the air horn or let's get thrown out of the party I think this is some sort of adapted vuvuzela which is something from a previous M football tournament no it's the way they've stuck this England crest on it so badly it's almost unbelievable wow that was hard and they've got this sort of pointless football receptacle on it take that off and you can have yourself a beautiful musical instrument right fingers in your ears time let's try this thing out ready that's very loud and extremely irritating and now my neighbors hate me I imagine and I tell what we can do with this I mean obviously you're supposed to honk it at football matches in order to put the players off or something maybe hmm I suppose I could use it as a Helena bonham-carter horn whenever I go to the cinema I can blow it whenever Helena Bonham Carter's on screen there we are if she is oh I'm sure the other people in the cinema will find that absolutely hilarious right next up is an old favorite slightly redesigned England inflatable hand hmm marvellous all they've done is printed on a slightly different flag it appears to be exactly the same as when I reviewed ages ago actually looks more like a life crafter than a hand but there we are and you can stick your hand and if you have mutant ly small hands and then pretend it's a giant oven glove or something hooray patriotism with mutant hands hooray I think it should actually be used as a dinghy for rabbits anyway that's enough of the mighty hand protection and noise making stuff now into the beautification process I'm going to bring in the terrifying severed head for this let us call him edmund also time for a bit of a camera shuffle here we are look at him staring off into space like some sort of crazy politician right first up on the agenda of beauty is the big of endless party you look great England wig they see what I've done there is they've written great when they meant to write look like a giant [ __ ] and yeah basically just a horrible cheap and astonishingly ugly wig let us it feels like chest hair of Satan himself um well there we are you can show how much you want your team to win by making a server look like an idiot I've never quite understood that anyway let's see what he looks back with it on yeah there yeah keep your head warm mate even vaulting years look and amazing yes or looks less patriotic and more like a mad old man really but we'll let him off on the grounds that his eyes scare me and I think he might bite me later well that's not the only thing to go on we've now got that far more masculine fluffy boppers from a slightly different range he's actually came from the supermarket chain Tesco as part of their pride passion party set up send us victorious yes send us a victorious team because ours ain't gonna [ __ ] be is it right what have we got here then DeeDee boppers in the shape of hearts with an England flag lit why is this something you give your girlfriend to try and pretend that football isn't crushingly dull to it I don't know on your head it goes wow that's one of the most beautiful images I've ever seen God hey if our gracious Queen brings a tear to your eye but not in a good way and there's only one thing left to do before we leave for the World Cup wait I mean leave the World Cup because we've lost its painter faces with the flag easy to apply easy to remove yep because you're going to have it on for long the good thing about the English flag of course only two colors so they can just give you loads of the same one you can also do Japan where that couldn't you do Japanese people paint their face with the flag I suppose if they did they just look like clans with me they think of the venom kind of finger on this or anyway what have we got then wow it's a not very um if you use a lot of it in order to whiten yourself up I think and there we are now my hand is patriotic and it looks like I've got some sort of horrifying disease ah well I suppose now we've got to paint the face up there and do something beautiful and to end this video on some sort of very positive aesthetic message perfect that's correct but wait what's this an ashens design t-shirt printed on high quality so though you know where they were a say about t-shirts look if you want t-shirts with my logo designed on them and the word hello written beneath it they are now available from the link below

Channel: ashens

Views: 497,544

Rating: 4.922915 out of 5

Keywords: world cup, england, tat, special, ashens, review, funny, hand clapper, wig, face paint, rabbit, t-shirt, FIFA World Cup (Football Competition), air horn, vuvuzela

Id: ZKvwadxEfFE

Length: 8min 57sec (537 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 21 2014

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