Royal Wedding Tat Review

hello it's royal wedding time this is where some bloke I've never met is getting married to some woman I've never heard of fantastic well you know what this means oh yeah royal wedding related pretend souvenir crap the likes of which I haven't seen since the last time there was a royal wedding you know how this thing goes in the minds of manufacturers one get some tat to put royal wedding photo on its preferably one they don't have to pay for and is there for public domain three sales are idiots for profit let's hope that last bit never comes to pass for them but I'm sure it already has okay let's start off with all the nav stuff I've managed to get from 99p stores and first up its the obligatory mug not just me for buying it but yeah a device for holding beverages and reminiscing about the beauty of this photograph this photograph is apparently the best photograph because it appears on everything could also be the freest photograph some semi-official thing no idea there she is kate middling and His Royal Highness bill chap yes I don't know you may noticed I don't really care commemorating the royal engagement and marriage or two of the price of one of William and Catherine 2011 marvellous mug right we've got that picture on there very faded and difficult to see form we've got that writing on again and the pictures on there twice just in case you missed it the first time and it's not really a very nice mug I mean sort of semi ceramic times we made by somebody called home connection not suitable for microwave or dishwashing juice that means cheap and horrible printing process generally it feels sort of gritty looks a bit nasty there's a weird lump in the bottom I don't know if you can get the light to play on that where it hasn't been so glazed properly or possibly just not formed properly there's weird dark marks on it which won't come off it was quite nice of them it's saved you the job of getting it dirty yourself they've done it for you in the factory and made in China but sadly not of China let's get rid of that and wait for it produce something remarkably similar it's a plate it has pictures of the people on commemorating the royal engagement and marriage all displaced and included Oh get in there oh this one's got a barcode perhaps last indeed oh I don't know the for decorative use only yeah dump anything on it it's poisonous okay I want to see this display stand oh my goodness oh my dog Lee ant that oh it feels really horrible like it's oven printed on some hideously cheap process it also looks amazingly I mean really amazingly bitty and awful very very low resolution sir it's not been printed very well put it that way Oh also it's got a mole with little hole I can feel it fantastic mean if that spot like that appeared in your body you'd go to the doctors immediately wouldn't you decorative you certainly wash it once a little come off the food on it will come off probably so presumably we slot that into here brilliant and that will go pride of place on the mantelpiece of escaped mental patients who like weird sources you can't use that have horrible horrible spots on them next well some good news we've run out of porcelain things the bad news I will hang through my teeth wait for it it's the commemorative royal wedding ah this one doesn't cover the engagement not as worth as much decorative bail who came up with this I don't know they said a lot of cheap bells left over something presumably not the good whiskey kind oh dear this is really nice got weird growths on it can you say that probably not hasn't finished nurse of lumps Oh marvelous this goes like the clappers at least him so oh oh look at the picture on this one you never comes into focus Catherine William 2011 it looks like a sort of 16 color gift that's been rendered by an old Amiga absolutely awful oh well weddings on tomorrow shall we ring the bell marvellous now that can stay in a cupboard silent until they divorce at which point I'll ring it again right what else have we got ah something edible that's more like it it is Bristow's clotted cream fudge established 1932 to commemorate the wedding of His Royal Highness Prince William to Catherine Middleton on the 29th of April 2011 at Westminster Abbey had it specially printed up look oh wait no they have it it's literally a postcard I didn't realize that because yeah I hadn't pulled it off before as you might tell but that's absolutely amazing they've literally just taken a postcard glued it to the top and not very well is the original picture and incredibly um shrink wraps it and claimed it's to do with the Royal renessa no cynical and horrible thing I've seen since at least 12 o'clock this morning when I turned the shopping channel on when I was actually knock inside answer good grief not a lot of fudge would you like some fudge with your box full of air sir marvellous I was it like imagine paying a pound for a small amount of fudge it would actually be quite good it's not fantastic it's not bad slightly hard if I got the it has not kind of him giving me the impression that perhaps this has been sitting around for a while if you know what I mean mm-hmm chewy all right no overall that's not too bad tasted a bit old but as it goes that's my favorite thing so far we have got to stuff my face with it right what's next real good something with the same photograph on again tiny Pirlo stroke cushion thing with big Union flag and the happy couple and another Union flag the other side just in case you missed it on the front what's this all made by company called PMS the older premenstrual syndrome fantastic lovely nombre company cover is 100% polyester filling material is a hundred percent polyester basically likes polyester made in China and yeah it feels very um polyester shall we say basically it's also slightly hairy as well there's all thin polyester fibers poking through it and I've been pick that up when you're watching an HD probably there's a good one point point point so yeah a tiny hairy pillow what would you actually use that for I've got no idea you could rest one of your feet on if you've got very small feet or a guinea pig could sleep on it perhaps or you'd give it to the dog to chew I don't know actually my dog is strangely attracted to this keeps me wanting to sort of bite and chew at it I think he might get his dream later oh well last thing that picture on I promise it's a drink serving tray that's better it's a drink serving tray well presumably you put drinks on it and carry them to people and then when you're taking the drinks off you say look there's a picture of a royal bloke and his wife look brew henchman when they were married yeah yeah that's right yeah I am due back in the clinic on Tuesday there's a stick on it drinks serving tray ideal for seven drinks at parties barbecues etc cause PMS international as well thank you for pointing out to the a drink serving trays ideal for serving drinks because you know that would never have occurred to me uh a drink serving tray just what I need to get the Large Hadron Collider better publicity oh wait maybe I'll just put some drinks on it right last thing and well you may have noticed a slight similarity all the wedding photos they've been shown so far that's right they're all the bloody same one however some people then put together a 21-month calendar for when we change - space years or something and as a result they've obviously had to find new photos which may give us the answer as to why we've been seeing the same one all the time here it is William and Kate calendar that's not their name I mean the name will be Windsor presumably actually all the names running celebrating the royal marriage His Royal Highness Prince William Arthur Philip Louis or Louis no Louie Abruzzo and Catherine Elizabeth Middleton how come he doesn't put surname on its Windsor I don't know oh it's a hundred percent unofficial this oh really do you know I thought that Kate Middleton would have made it herself by sticking bits of paper together right well look at all the photos twenty-one months one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve if it's twenty one month calendar why are there only 12 pictures mm-hmm this involves opening it up to look oh dear I don't have the fingernails for this hang on war sprung Technic as somebody once said in an advert and then they drop their keys there we go Wow could you imagine just stare at this for 21 minutes right get the keys out of the way and oh when you've just pulled a bit of cardboard out that seems to comprise 93% of the thickness of the calendar it does make you wonder at the rest of it now it's not too bad fairly shiny and it's all right January October oh that's a bit of a cheat it says 21 month calendar but actually it's got half on one just on one sheet that cheeky monkies right let's see what pictures we've got then December a fairly nice promotional looking photo of the lady and the man looking at something presumably a person maybe a fox that delivered waiting in the air and shooting laser beams out of his asshole I just don't know it's not in frame what we got November the AC that's just kind of the woman walking down the road and somebody taking a candid shot of her isn't it that's less impressive than the other ones I'm beginning to see why they all had the same picture on there's something a bit creepy about that as if somebody's got a very long telephoto lens and his snapping pictures over when she's on the way um October there was a Pauling color resolution thing going on there was the lighting bad don't know looks like he's cut himself shaving really badly the hair look who's been attacked by an antlion didn't have his crowbar with him to fend it off no I did January oh he's happy there look haha I'm at a royal engagement and I'm having to feign polite laughter at somebody's bad joke I think that's how those things work oh here we are ah no that's familiar that appears to be I would have said let's get the tray yep I think so from the same photo set as the famous picture obviously not as good because they're sort of looking in different directions and Prince William is in fact sort of cut his face the other way so yeah inferior version February I mean it's my evil there doesn't he just called and caught him sort of mid smile I would imagine or possibly he's about to tear somebody's throat out with his teeth always an impressive trick from the royal family August and that's a horrible photograph because it does look like the poor woman is basically trying to get back to her house and it's having to put on a brave smile for all the paparazzi who are snapping photographs of her as she holds her phone yeah that's creeping me out a bit that I'm not great March again looking like she's at some sort of function or something and telling somebody and smiling and it's got a slightly low resolution look which does imply somebody's not a telephoto lens right on a hooter Oh July oh my goodness man at CAA that's yeah almost fashion model E that one isn't it relaxing on a rock as the people take photos yeah that's a good one April all serious face very seriously please trying to switch to swallow his own teeth actually does immensely serious in his army uniform just occurred to me actually I'm both him and Harrier in the army and they're usually the royal family tend to go the Navy don't they what do i they picked the army perhaps they don't like water being good reason that's that same event again isn't it but a really bad photograph where he's half sang word and she's sort of out-of-focus may Kate Middleton wearing a hat and looking slightly worried to the side yeah you've really run out of photographs now haven't you lads well the next one's gonna be like a child's drawing or frozen oh that's it no well the worst one was last seems in some way fitting oh well there we go then I don't know how you will be celebrating the royal wedding personally I will literally be in a field getting away from it all I would suggest you do the same our what so the second type of use that is broken already

Channel: ashens

Views: 621,807

Rating: 4.9311523 out of 5

Keywords: royal, wedding, tat, mug, tray, plate, bell, calendar, review, funny, ashens, prince, william, kate, middleton, floating, fox, lasers

Id: U4rqVauL2eI

Length: 14min 18sec (858 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 28 2011

Reddit Comments

[u/_agent_perk]

He text posted on his channel that another one was coming up, he just had to go to another pound shop to get more stuff

[u/Rich661]

Wait until after it's all died down, that way it'll be even cheaper. That's what I'd do anyway.