Winning in Relationships | Michael Todd & Craig Groeschel

[Applause] all right now they gave me an assignment today and only 29 minutes to do it in so i told them they got to give me two weeks so i'm gonna be with you for the this week and next week because oh yeah because i want to help you win in relationships and i really do believe it is god's intention and idea for every one of us to win in relationships now for us to do that we're going to have to step back and we're going to have to not make social media our bar for relationship goals we're going to have to step back i'm going to step on some toes right here and the bachelor cannot be the bar for relationship goals some of us have come from broken relationships from broken families from situations of hurt and i want us to leave all of that right here and i want us just for the next couple of weeks as we've been doing through this whole series to make the word of god the standard for all of our relationships okay and so as we walk through this i'm going to be very direct i'm going to be very funny and i'm going to be very very intentional and letting you know that god designed relationships and no matter if your relationships are broken right now god can fix relationships and if you're in a season of preparing to be in a relationship god can make sure you walk into right relationships so this series is for every everybody on father's day this series is for people who single this is for people who are married this is for people who are divorced these are for stalkers some of y'all are stalkers it's for stalkers it's for the people who it's complicated it's for everybody today because god wants you everybody say i will win in relationships it's crazy that over 1300 days ago i spoke a series at my little church in a converted grocery store in north tulsa called relationship goals and for some reason it went viral and i preached eight messages and the truth in those messages it was like people's drinking water for the first time they had never heard this and i was like y'all this is in the bible like i didn't know that this was but i found that there was a void because many of you may be have were raised like me who only got very minimal instructions about relationship the one relationship raised in church parents love god all of these different things the only instruction i had don't have sex before you marry is that it like like if nothing else like do not have sex before you get married what happens when you miss that one oh y'all won't be fake today what happens when you missed it several times what happens when you were introduced to things at an early age at a hotel room with the basketball team where it went from the flintstones to something else what happens when you were exposed and illegitimately untouched or what what happens and it's like pray about it ask the lord he ain't saying then what am i supposed to do and what i decided is if i ever got an opportunity because of the hell i went through trying to find out how to do relationships that i would honestly openly and transparently hot i would honestly tell people the truth about relationships and the truth about relationships after 20 million people have watched this and tons of people have have have bought the book i found that it comes down to a couple of truths and i only got two weeks to do this in so i'ma dive right into this whole thing but there is power in the word of god i want everybody to say that there is power in the word of god and that's why you need to go there first before you go to anywhere else to find out about how you're supposed to do relationship i see you clapping but you didn't read it oh let's be honest you'll read a facebook post in an instagram post before you go to the word of god about relationships okay i'm gonna be your friend okay you ready but when god wants to do something he writes it down for longevity's sake can i help you understand the power of the written word see there's power in the spoken word but there's longevity in the written word when the founders of this country wanted to come up with the things that would hold our country together they didn't just say it to each other they wrote it down so it could have longevity and hold us together in the constitution when martin luther king was inspired or troubled by injustices he didn't just say it he wrote it down and they became eloquent speeches so they could have longevity when god wanted humanity to understand his heart and his love towards them he didn't just say it he inspired men to write it down so it could have longevity and the grass will wither and the flowers will fade but the word of god will remain forever can somebody give god a shout of praise right there now pastor mike why are you going this hard because if we don't establish the word of god being the principle thing you'll think it's just a suggestion and many people today when it comes to relationships they think the bible is a suggestion in the lineup of other things that probably could work out for my relationship it is the blueprint so i want us to look at the blueprint and learn watch this word principles see god builds everything for a believer on principles he doesn't build them build them on feelings and trends because because right now we're in a society full of trends and feelings and what god builds his kingdom on everybody say it principles and write this point down the more principles you learn from the word of god the less you have to pray about what to do yeah yeah when you learn the principle you don't have to pray about it and some of the uh that's sacrilegious i know susan he's wrong well let me help you all of us that drive cars most of us understand the principle of gas if we're on e we don't call a prayer service oh god i just need you right now lord don't know if i'm gonna make it home god but i thank you that your warrant and ministering angels will get us to our destiny you don't do that you don't fast why because you understand the principle of gas if you understood the principles of relationship you wouldn't have to pray is jacquez the one lord is sally the one jesus because you would see by how they lived their life you would see by the principles they've decided to display that maybe i don't even need to pray about this maybe i don't even need to do this i need to know everybody say principles principles simplify your life and when it comes to this thing about modern dating and modern relationships what people are trying to do is live without the principle of god's word and today i want to bring principles to help simplify your relationship journey no matter if you're married and you got 15 kids god bless you if you have that many kids and some of you saying well what qualifies you to even talk about relationships could you go to exhibit a i'm gonna show you my family real quick this is my family this is the todd squat it's my beautiful wife we've been high school sweethearts um i met her when i was 15 years old and um she was 14 and now that i have three um daughters um that is incredibly too young to be dating anybody and um um i have a son in the middle his name is nj and i said three daughters because we um in just a few days are about to have our third daughter and our fourth child gia simone i know a little bit about relationships i almost messed this one completely up i almost lost the greatest thing that god gave me because i was going off of principles that culture taught me i was watching my big cousin and mtv in bet and i was i was watching the people the jocks at my school and i was watching the people around me and i just i started to destroy my life based on principles that could not hold it up and today i just came to challenge you in this first message that i'm speaking to you what principles have you built your relationships on i can't i don't know but some of you have principles that are actually eroding the love you want in your relationships today i want us to go back to the greatest principle giving tool that we have is the word of god because i don't want you to be ignorant i did not say ignorant i said igni that that's when you have a lack of understanding of something and you know what the truth is as much as we praise and sing worship songs so many people that are sitting in our churches today are ignorant when they are void of truth when it comes to our relationships you've been married 42 years y'all don't like each other y'all are business partners that happen to have kids and now the kids is gone and y'all live totally separate lives that's not what god wanted can i challenge you that the instagram picture of your relationship does not mean there's substance in it if you're going to find the truth of the word of god you have to build it on what principles that are found in the word of god and i need to say this to you that that this is free i didn't mean that i didn't mean pastor craig i don't know if this is okay but i'm a challenge some of you your greatest enemy is not sin or satan it's ignorance because wherever you're ignorant that's where he can have control wherever the enemy the word in hebrew literally darkness in hebrew means ignorance he's the prince of darkness or the prince of ig so wherever you don't have vision and light and the word of god that's where the enemy is kicking your blessed assurance and it's time for the church in the area of relationship when divorce rates are the same as for people who are outside of the church as people who are inside a church singing worship songs going to bible study in a life group and we're still getting divorced at the same rate we still don't have light in that area and that means we have to go back to the word of god the less ignorance you have the less destruction you experience so what are you saying pastor mike we need the light of the world to come in this area of our relationships john 8 12 jesus spoke to the people once more and said i am the light of the world and if you follow me if you do it my way if you follow my principles you won't have to walk in ignorance you don't have to walk in darkness in relationships you don't have to fail fail fail fail and then get it right god says if you would do it my way if you could re-do or unlearn some of the things you learned growing up you don't have to walk in darkness because you will have the light watch this this is a good scripture professor craig that leads to life i'm at life church honor [Applause] we should have life in our relationships people should look at your relationships your friendships your business partnerships not just romantic relationships all the ships they should look at every ship of yours and that should attract people because it's full of life but you cannot have life where there's not light oh that's nasty you cannot i like that that just came from the spirit you cannot have life where you don't have light and today i want to give you light in your relationships so so um i got to tell a transparent story can i be honest with life church today no tim y'all gonna make me can i be honest with y'all today okay so i told y'all my wife beautiful girl up there known her all my life um we were doing these interviews around relationship goals because for some reason it that book um we released it in the middle of the pandemic and it went number one new york time bestseller that's crazy because i failed english class twice and so um um uh um we were praising god and somebody was doing an interview with me and they asked they said so natalie and i was like i thought this interview was about me and they was like so natalie was michael everything you ever wanted and i heard a pause in her voice and i said yeah babe was i everything you ever wanted and she said actually no i thought i was gonna marry somebody that was hispanic a little puerto rican nice little wavy hair six-pack body and she just starts describing this enrique and glacius a-rod type of figure and i said i mean i'm literally stunned and i said oh really and i thought i was gonna marry j-lo and i just you know i just i just i was just saying stuff but in that moment i started thinking about did i think i was going to be in relationship with somebody like her and honestly what i had in my mind versus what god had for me was different and and and what ended up happening when i found out that that natalie wanted um uh um derek jeter or somebody and she got this big piece of hershey chocolate what i found out is something that is a principle that i want to help you get today that you need to rip up your list this is a principle that i'm going to teach you that will apply to relationships and every other thing that is a part of your life you have a list whether you wrote it down or not in relationships in family in business and timeline all of us have a list something that we want to happen we thought was gonna happen what it was gonna look like what it was gonna feel like what it was gonna sound like what it was gonna taste like all of us have a list let me give you a definition of the list it's a set of predetermined self-fabricated ideas of a specific person situation or outcome written down continually thought about or verbally communicated by which erroneous expectations become goals for achievement what's your list that god was nowhere a part of but you just felt what what is the list because some of you have it when it comes to a person or a relationship but some of you have it when it comes to business well when i get 26 i'm gonna own my own business and when i get 27 i'm gonna have two kids and at 27 okay and when i get 35 i'm gonna retire as a millionaire where'd you get that from where did that come from and some of you are sitting in the service today frustrated about your whole life because your life doesn't look like your list and i came to tell you today that this is a principle you need to adopt as far as your relationships and everything that concerns your life god is not a god of your list and the reason i have to help you with this is because when we make lists i need you to write this point down your list for you will never look like god's list for you never pc you didn't see life church being this there's no way i saw myself doing this i was a music producer i was supposed to be producing for beyonce and and justin bieber and and everybody else i was going to be in the music videos and ever i was there god said no no no no no your list for you your purpose for you your relationship for you your impact for you looks nothing like what i have planned for you see this is the key i need everybody to understand i'm trying to give you principles to build your relationship on your list factors in what you want god's list factors in what you need see when natalie was thinking about the man she wanted she didn't know she needed somebody that would pray for her in the middle of the night see she was just looking at an exterior but she didn't know she needed a man that if god said he'd fall on his face and give everything away she needed me you hear that baby you needed me do you hear that no she needed me even when she wanted something else and what i'm telling you is the list that you have created you may not say it to anybody you may not talk about it publicly but silently on the inside some of the things that would be considered a blessing if they weren't up against this fabricated list you need to do what i had to do in my life i had to take everything that i thought i wanted and i had to rip it up why are you doing that this is a prophetic sign of what i believe many of you need to do to get to the relationship you want to get to the marriage that you want to get to the person you need to be before anybody else comes into your life you're going to have to go through some of the things you've said promised and inner vows you've made and you're going to have to rip up the list you see how quiet it was like oh pastor mike let's get beyonce back [Applause] i'm trying to give you a principle that will save you frustration because what if god wants for you looks nothing like what you want for yourself oh that's a dangerous one right there see because so many of us are living in the formula of frustration can i give you the formula of frustration real quick it's fabricated expectations plus failed realities equaling feelings of frustration you're fabricated you made it up you just made it up oh no no no i'm gonna graduate and when i graduate he's gonna be six six he's gonna have six figures we're gonna have six kids and i'm gonna drive a mercedes 600. like like and then when you living in a one bed apartment at 34 no kids in the toyota camry which is exactly where god wants you right now because he's developing something in you you're so frustrated because not that god left you is your list doesn't look like your life and today i'm just i'm begging you whoever you are that's watching this you came to this service today because you need to know that your list is less than god's best for you god's lowest thought about you is higher than your greatest thought about yourself oh y'all missed that can i can i say it to you in a different way god is more committed to your destiny than he is to your desires he wants you to reach destiny more than even what you desire i'm a living witness that god will upset your plan to give you his purpose and that's why psalms 37 4. see we quote this wrong all the time this is just the precursor next week i'm about to go off on y'all i just need everybody to know i just needed you to understand the word of god has to be the principal thing and that we need to rip up our list somebody say rip up your list some of y'all gonna get paper today and you're gonna be like i'm putting johnny on the list i'm pursuing all of this up in the house and you're gonna do that and it might be the most spiritual thing you did all year round cause god's been trying to get something to you that you've been so against because it didn't look like what you said you wanted psalms 37 4 delight yourself in the lord and he will give you the desires of your heart can i passage remix that because y'all i all my life i've been quoting this wrong oh god's gonna give me the desires of my heart he gonna give me the desires of my heart that's why i made the list so he could know exactly like santa claus exactly what i want he said you missed it when you put everything you are in the lord when i put my my my relationships in the lord when i put my business in the lord when i put my feelings in the lord when i submit my plans and i put it what in the lord when i take my family and i put it in them then god will give your heart what it's supposed to desire see he's not going to give us the things that we desire what i desire by myself is nasty the bible tells us that that the heart is the most deceit like just what i want but when i put it in the he'll change the desires and before we start talking about the relationship you want maybe we need to talk about the person who would be in the relationship which is you and if god gave you everything you needed right now some of us would say no thanks because it didn't look like our list today life church i'm begging you i'm pleading with you i'm asking you take whatever you have made or watch this an idol anything that would take the place of god god i know you know what's best but uh do i need to email facetime airdrop you how do you want my list and god's saying the only thing i want you to do with your list rip it up what can i proverbs 19 21 is where i'm going to end this just the warm-up many are the plans in a person's where heart oh this nasty bible but it is the lord's purpose that will prevail do you know god has a purpose for your relationship he doesn't just want you to take good instagram pictures he wants you to take kingdom territory with that partner he doesn't want you to just just have a kid he wants you to raise arrows in the hand of the lord he doesn't want you to just have a good business partner he wants you to subdue rule and dominate on this earth and be a blessing to other people he said you got a plan you got a list but i got a purpose fight me if you want but it was at the moment i did this and i ripped up my list like i said good finally you you can you can keep running if you want to you can keep jumping from bed to bed if you want to you can keep chasing after every get rich quick scheme you can keep thinking that because you have a bunch of zeros in your bank account you're better than somebody but when i look in your heart it's hollow you can keep doing that if you want to but at some point my purpose will prevail and today when it comes to this thing about modern romance i think one of the biggest principles that we need to learn according to the word of god is that your list is not the life that god wants you to live he has plans for you plans to prosper you and not to harm you plans to give you a hope and a what future there's an expected end his purpose will prevail but i think the most spiritual thing you can do is write down everything that you made up without god [Music] write down come on i'm not even like all of the things somebody else in there like i have no idea what he's talking about i do not know but if it was just you if it was just you and you've been comparing yourself to other people's vacations oh i want to get petty with it real quick you've been looking at how their family is doing this and you've been looking at well it's wedding season and they're in a marriage and they're getting pictures and they're going on a honeymoon and why am i still single god said i'm preparing you i'm working on you i'm building something in you that will last forever that you're going to pass down to your children's children i have a plan for you why am i still working this job it's because the one i have for you you're gonna own that but that's five years away i still gotta build your character cause there'll be a test up there that's gonna test your integrity and i need to know down here where you're making minimum wage that you'll still do the work at the same level that you would do if you were in the pit house i need to keep making you so what do you need to do not be frustrated not think that god has forsaken you not think that you're alone you need to take everything that you made up erroneously outside of god and you need to rip it up i'm challenging everybody this week take 30 minutes put on some worship music and write everything that has been frustrating you in your life and try to see if you can connect it to a time in a moment that you said this is gonna happen i'm going to make this happen after i get these degrees and do you know what's happening with your list it's robbing you of your current life this will take you away from enjoying what god has given you right now and i believe that god is going to do a work in you yeah we're going to talk about relationships and all that other stuff but you wouldn't even hear it because you would hear me talking and you would be putting up against your erroneous list and i came all the way from tulsa oklahoma to tell you could you do something real spiritual this week write it down and rip it up would you lift your hands everywhere father i thank you [Applause] for the people that have heard this message it wasn't easy and father you know the areas of our life where maybe we haven't even communicated it out loud what we were expecting and what we wanted but god the truth of this matter is there's been even a blockage between us and you because we've been mad at you we thought you didn't keep your end of the deal we thought you didn't do what you promised and today god we repent [Music] because your word says you're not being slow as some of us would suppose but you're you're taking your time so that none of us would perish god i thank you that we see your hand even in the weight god i thank you that you would give my friends courage no matter if they're single they're in a marriage they're divorced they're widowed thank you that you would give them the courage to rip up their list and wait on you today god we trust you we believe you and we thank you and father we make a commitment that we will rip up [Music] oh come on life church you can do better than that let's tell pastor thank you how's that for a little spiritual surgery on your heart so there's a list up here here's my list how many of you today at uh all of our different locations whatever it is maybe it was uh your career or your relationship or just your vision for where your life would be at this stage you're ready to rip up that list raise your hands raise your hands yep here we go so father i thank you that your holy spirit is speaking to so many hearts right now and i pray you just drive this truth deep that um your plan your will many are the plans in our hearts god but your purpose your purpose is better your purpose is rich do you want to do exceedingly and abundantly more god then all we're going to ask think or imagine so help us to trust you today jesus that we thank you god for your word seek first the kingdom of god and his righteousness for seek first the kingdom not our list not what we want but god but what you want and then your word tells us that everything that really matters will be added unto us so god help us to rip up that list today putting our full trust and faith in you and all that we do as you keep praying today at um all of our churches some of you may have come to church you're watching online and you kind of had one idea but god had another idea for you today something even better and uh when it comes to where you stand with god some of you may need to kind of rip up your list and don't be ignorant you gotta you understand some principles i wanna give you some principles about the goodness of god you may feel like you've done so many things wrong in your life you feel guilty you feel ashamed and wonder could i even approach god and let me just tell you the truth all of us have this is truth all of us have sinned scripture says and we fall short of god's standard that's truth but the good news is this is also truth that god loves you it's not just something that he does but it's who he is and there's nothing that you can do to cause god to love you less and there's no good works you can do to cause god to love you more he just loves you he loves you he loves you so much that he became like you he became flesh in the person of jesus who was without sin and gave his life for the forgiveness of our sins god raised him from the dead and this is the truth don't be ignorant don't live in the darkness because of what jesus did when you call on his name you can experience the peace of god the presence of god the forgiveness of god the grace of god salvation isn't just the forgiveness of sins but it's the presence of god who's with you today wherever you're watching those of you might say man i had a list for my life this is what i wanted but i recognize it's time for me to lay that down to step away from my old life to step away from my sinfulness even to step away from what i wanted and surrender my whole life to jesus the name that is above every name who is jesus the lamb of god the savior of the world when you call on him he'll hear your prayer he'll forgive your sins he will make you brand new wherever you're watching from those who say yes i need his forgiveness i need his grace i step away from my old life i rip up my my list today i give my life to him that's your prayer would you lift your hands high right now all of our churches just lift them up somebody give praise for those today coming to faith in jesus and all of our life churches and those of you watching online man you're a part of the family just type it in the chat right now i'm giving my life to jesus type that in the chat i'm giving my life to jesus and today would you all pray together nobody prays alone just pray aloud pray heavenly father i give you my life rip up my list and step away from my sin to follow jesus jesus save me change me fill me with your spirit so i can follow you always i seek you first your kingdom your truth your life i give you my whole life thank you for new life in jesus name i pray because somebody go crazy celebrate big welcome those born into god's family today

Channel: Life.Church

Views: 257,132

Rating: 4.9519591 out of 5

Keywords: Craig Groeschel, Sermon, Life.Church, Lifechurch, life church, life church sermons, groeschel craig, principles of relationship goals, relationship principles, winning in relationships, win in relationships, relationship wisdom, simplify your relationship, the formula of frustration, complicated relationships, intentional relationships, christian singleness, christian dating, christian marriage, michael todd, transformation church, mike todd, rip up your list

Id: QHi6WXg1C-U

Length: 35min 11sec (2111 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 20 2021