Does "It" Need to End? :: Relationship Goals (Part 8)

and men so let's get our notes out and let's get started in this today um this is week 8 of the relationshipgoals series and just by what I've heard like what I've heard from people this series has blessed people's life this people that this series has helped people walk differently when it concerns relationships I think I saw something on online that over 10,000 people have watched the first video that we put up on this series now y'all know I'm not about numbers or anything but this is something that God wants to say to people and so as I as I begin to say God how do you want me to end this series how do we need to close this thing out he said well I want you to ask everybody a question and first I want you to ask yourself this question and this is the question that came to me in prayer how do I know a relationship needs to end like if we're gonna end why don't we go ahead and end because a lot of people have relationships with people things places and we're not sure if this relationship is supposed to continue to go forward or if it's supposed to end and I may dare say that a lot of a lot of us spend a lot of unnecessarily necessary time in relationships that will not benefit us in the end okay can we be honest just for one second how many people have wasted time in relationships before hands up if your hand is not up you're lying and this is all I'm saying to you all of us have wasted time a relationship if there was like a card that that came when you started a relationship that told you how it was gonna end we would stop a lot of relationships like you're gonna waste 4 years with this person you're gonna have lower self-esteem and you're gonna hate everybody around you when you end this do you still want this relationship we'd be like heck no that's that's not what I want but many times it's hard to see the whole picture when I'm in it if we can be honest it's hard to see that I may have been in business with the wrong business partner when we're already in it it may be hard to figure out that this friend is not my the best for me after we've already been BFFs then we're going everywhere together and we're celebrating life monuments together and so I just want to help us through the Word of God see if we can be able to better identify how we know a relationship is supposed to in and I started thinking about this when God wants to bless you how does he do it he sends people into your life and when the devil wants to distract you or destroy you how does he do it he sends people into your life so if people come into our life are either a blessing or a curse it's up to us to be able to decipher is this relationship going to benefit me and push me towards what God has for me or is this relationship going to subtract from me and take away from what God has for me and I thought about it like this um there may be relationships that you have that are liabilities and not assets and some of us don't understand those terms but but let me just explain it like this liabilities take from you assets give to you what are the relationships in your life that are taking from you right now taking peace taking joy taking time the one thing will never get back they're taking people that are always negative people always in drama people that are always telling us the truth but it always has a been towards what's wrong in life and they're they're sucking and they're taking and and they're moving things from and I just think that it's God's plan that the relationships in our life are supposed to be helping us and moving us towards purpose the whole reason we started this series is so that we could help every person win in relationship everybody say I want to win in relationship so now I need us to take an inventory today is one of those messages that I call let's just take an inventory not this ain't for your neighbor this ain't for anybody else this for you and I want you to take an inventory if you were to write down a list right now of all your acquaintances friends best friends yo day one a ones your bros your girls your business colleagues your mentors students relatives business partners associates team mates clients followers fans supporters boyfriends girlfriends baby mamas baby daddies friends with benefits just friends fiancees spouse spiritual leader pastor and even your church my question is are they adding value to you are they taking value from you because all of us have relationships that we would say this benefits me and this probably doesn't benefit me and this is the crazy thing we like if they benefit us any we like to keep the relationship even if most of what they do is negative well how could I get out of that relationship but I read this one thing that they said if you had the if you were thirsty and there was a glass of tall water but they told you that there was one drop of strychnine or poison in it would you drink it and I said no they said in the same way that many of us have relationships with people that there's poison in their relationship but we still keep them and invite them into the areas of our life that affect us and so I begin to ask God okay well how do I need to know that a relationship needs to end and God wasn't just giving me a straight answer it was like he was schooling me and I love this because when I spend time with God when I spend time in prayer when I spend time seeking God for what I'm supposed to say here he never lets me preach anything that he doesn't take me through first so you should you should have quality assurance that any time I stand up here and I'm saying something to you God's already taken me through the ringer on this and this is what he said he said Michael some of the problems that you face are a result of the people you embrace it he said some of the problems that you are facing right now are because of the people that you keep embracing the same type of people the same type of greedy people the same type of people who don't care about what God cares about the same type of people if you think about it in your life all the people that you have relationship issues with you can rid of them and they come back with different faces just think about it oh I I'm done with that boys I ain't messing with no bad boy forget you Jerrod and then Ricky comes and he's a bad boy too and then you get rid of Ricky and now you're 28 and now it's Ramon and you get rid of Ramon and then it's Lawrence and then it doesn't matter it's just different faces and I'm talking about any relationships many people have been in bad business relationship after bad business relationship many people have been from church to church now how come you find the same people at every church something wrong with every church you been in the pastor ain't teaching the word at every church you be you are the common denominator but if we think about that from a godly perspective it's because a lot of the relationship problems that we have are because of the relationship people we are embracing and so Paul is saying to us in 1st Corinthians 15:33 he's talking to a group of believers and he's saying hey listen when you hang around people that aren't going the same way you're weakening your ability to stand you're weakened your ability to stand and you're not standing for what is right and he says this he says don't be fooled by those who say such things or by people who weak in your stance in what you know is right for bad company corrupts good character I don't care how good you think you are hang around people who gossip hang around people who still hang around people who cheat hang around people who are lukewarm that act one way on Sunday and acted completely different Monday through Friday you won't be the person who affects change they will infect you that's what the scripture says and we all know proverbs 27:17 as iron sharpens iron so a friend sharpens a friend we always say that did you bring me out my example real quick um this right here is an X this is iron okay this is iron right here but the thing about this iron is it has become dull this should be able to slice me wide open but the only reason that it's not slicing the open is because it's been hitting against wood when I read that Scripture sometimes I reverse engineer scripture when I'm studying so if iron sharpens iron what doesn't sharpen iron wood what happens is if iron and wood are constantly in relationship okay this can never be sharpened because it's not made from the same material so this is what the scripture says when it tells us not to be unequally yoked because if I'm walking with a material that doesn't are it's not able to supply me with the sharpening that I need there's two things that happen if I'm in a relationship with somebody something some venture that is not equally yoked what happens is one will become damaged and the other will become dull now you missed it you missed it see many of us are in the relationships that are unequaled in the yoke and it's hurting both of you because you started off sharp but you started having relationship with wood people that don't have the same values people that don't believe God or we can just do it this one time when you go to the club tonight it's your birthday you 22 you 28 to 35 you 69 I get out the club do you understand what I'm saying and we we just keep hitting against something and what happens is the thing that was sharp becomes dull and the thing that was wood becomes damaged so my question is when we look at our lives and we look at what God wants to do in us relationally what are you doing and what have you done to make sure that your relationships are godly relationships so when I look at this I say okay so what do we have to do to find out how we know a relationships supposed to end and remember today it's just a suggestion for you Pastor Mike is not mandating anything that you need to go in this relationship for you but if the shoe fits I mean if you were size 10 and a half and this mug is attending put it on okay look at Hebrews 12:1 and I think this is an anchor scripture for this whole message therefore since we have been surrounded with such a huge crowd of witnesses to this life of faith like there have been people who've done this and they made it to the end of it and they still had faith and they trust that God and we have those witnesses it says let us who's he talking to us let us strip off every weight now this is the thing that I love about this is it doesn't say strip off every sin because if it said sin first all of us would would be like okay we get that but this is saying you need to lay down or get rid of every weight that includes relational liabilities you need to get rid of every relationship that is not moving you towards purpose and look at it it doesn't say it says get rid of every weight that slows us down and this makes me excited too because it didn't say every weight that makes us stop because we we think it would be fine if that yeah no we really do need to get them out of our life because they're making us stop it says don't even have people around you who are slowing you down like so the criteria is changing it's not sin it's not stopping it's who's in your life that's slowing you down like and when we start to identify that that makes us look at our friends our relationship our business partner is completely different like I am always talking to you about drama and issues or I am always wasting time trying to explain myself because you think I have an ulterior motive but I really am just trying to sharpen you and make you better but you actually think I'm coming at you and I'm jealous of you boo I am not jealous of you I'm just like it pulls around us that's slowing us down now you think about it don't nudge them if they sit next to you just stay straight look at me okay it says and then it addresses sin and I think God does this for a reason to let us know it's not just sin he said oh yeah sins don't trip you up it's especially the sin that so easily trips us up but then it gives us hope and let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us so I just want you to just picture it for a second you on a track and you in a lane and that Lane is your lane like nobody else is even allowed to run in that Lane that's your lane and God's saying I don't want anybody coming into this Lane to trip you up because I have a race for you to run and I want you to run it with endurance and if you run this race I've called you to run it you're gonna win a prize and you're gonna be satisfied because what I wanted to do in your life is better than anything you ever wanted to do in your life and I need you to trust me but you got to do two things you got to get all these weights off of you and you got to get sin out of your life so when I looked at this and in the light of relationship goals and all this other things I still ask the same question how do I know a right a relationship needs to end so I want us to look at the father of faith and a situation that happened in his life Abraham and I want us to go to Genesis and and I want you to go ahead and part in Genesis 15 verse 6 but I'm gonna give you a little back story of what what has happened cuz some of you are saying how do I need to know this relationship needs to end okay let me just give a caveat if you are married if some of these things begin to to show you some issues and some problems you have it's an awesome thing for you because you get to work this out inside of coven II see some of y'all thought y'all was gonna get a license this is it this is the day Pastor Mike - no no no there's only a few reasons that you're able to come outside of the covenant of marriage and that's why I tell all my single people is so very important that you don't rush into anything that God has not ordained because there's a covenant that God wants to establish through you and Malachi says that marriage is sacred and it tells us that God hates divorce and so there are some reasons that that needs to happen but this is what I when I wrote down for all my married people you don't get to end you get intervention you get counseling you get to you get to call somebody and tell them all your issues and your problems and allow the Holy Spirit to come in and heal and so some of y'all the rest of this stuff you gonna be able to listen to and you're gonna be able to apply it to other relationships but that marriage one God want you to fight for that one he wants you to stay through the struggle in that one and there's a beautiful story that comes at the end when God is the only one that can redeem and bring it back to life amen and man so let's let's look at how do we need to know a relationship needs to end Abraham he's the father of our faith Abraham is one of those people that his name changed and when we find him first his name is Abram and he's just obeying God he's a dude out here he's not perfect but he's just out here trying to obey God I don't know some of y'all may have known the song y'all may have been raised in a Vacation Bible School like me but there was a little song about Abraham it was like father Abraham had many sons some of y'all know it and many sons have father come on sing with me and I am one of them and so are you everybody so let's just praise the Lord right on left or merely right don't let it drop no I'm sick scuse me now mister excuse me excuse me I'm renewed amen but um what ended up happening some of y'all are raised in the same rescue group I was but um but but but what happens is Abraham gets a promise in Chapter 15 what God comes to him and he says hey listen you're gonna have a son and abraham was like don't even play with me like that you know I'm old like I'm old she oh we not about to have no son I'll just keep serving you said no no no you're gonna have a son and he said matter of fact come outside he was like look up in the stars and try to count him you can't can you nope because I'm God and I made them and he said that is the number of descendants you are gonna have to have and Abraham was like God for real you don't have to play with me I'll just serve you don't make me these promises and you're not really gonna come through on them and he said no I promise you that you're gonna have a son and from your son you're gonna have descendants and look what it says in chapter 15 verse 6 Genesis 15 verse 6 it says and abraham believed the lord and i want you to underline that encircled egg because we're gonna need that in a minute and abraham believed the lord and the lord counted him as righteous because of his faith okay so i'm gonna take a different approach on this whole story and i hope we can find some some things on this because God just gave this he downloaded it to me and I'm excited about it but I need you to stay with me because we're gonna draw some context clues of how we know we're supposed to end a relationship so go to chapter 16 okay and it's crazy because at the end of 15 it says he believed the Lord but at the beginning of 16 there's problems about to start like we didn't even wait - chapters to get into problems we end with God I believe you and the next page what what what happens it says verse 16 now Sarai Abraham's wife had not been able to bear children for him but she had an Egyptian servant named Hagar so Sarai said to Abraham baby the Lord has prevented me from having children so glow and sleep with my servant I know Abraham's eyes got beat he said uh-uh uh-uh uh-uh you want me to do what you heard me baby go sleep with Hagar perhaps I can have children through her and Abraham said you know what you are smart woman you use a woman that got you the woman that I love she said he agreed see this I read the Bible I don't know about y'all but this is how it comes to me he said he agreed with Sarah's a proposal so Sarah Abraham's Abraham's wife took Hagar the Egyptian servant and gave her to Abraham to Abram as a wife this happened ten years after Abram had settled in the land of Canaan verse 4 so Abram had sexual relations with Hagar and she became pregnant but when Hagar knew she was pregnant she began to treat her mistress Sarai with contempt how do you know a relationship needs to end point 1 when you started it and God didn't we could go home right there because in verse 15 God gave Abram and Sarah a promise but at the start of 16 they started looking at their situation and they wanted to help God do what he said he was going to do and isn't that how we usually get in bad relationships is that God has given us a promise or he's telling us to wait or telling us to wait on him or he's telling us that he's going to do something he has a purpose and a plan for our life but then we start looking at our situation where God I'm thirty what God I'm I'm this and I'm that and I thought this was gonna happen and I thought that was gonna happen and I thought that was gonna happen so let me help you fulfill your promise to me but what God spoke to me and he's been rough just I mean ravaging my heart with he said Michael there's no such thing as godly ambition you can't help God do what he has already done what he's doing and what he's about to do you can't help him all you can do is obey Him and many of us are trying to help God fulfill his promise to us and when we do that we invite relationships in that were never meant to happen Abraham was never supposed to ever be in relationship with Hagar but his wife had a bright idea let me help God fulfill his promise to me and doesn't that sound like us so many times that we go in because we call him Jehovah Jireh in verse finch Apter 15 but christmas comes so we go pick up a second and third job to be jehovah jireh my own provider and then we leak the person who brings the boxes name john and we start having a cordial relationship that turns into an emotional affair that we were never even supposed to experience if we would not have tried to be Jehovah Jireh and fulfill the promise in our life how many business deals have we taken in people we've gotten in relationship with and people that we're going we went to the wrong school because we were trying to help God fulfill our promise so this is where all my friends were going so that's where I went and you met people you were never supposed to meet you have relationships with professors you were never supposed to be in their class I just want you to see when you start relationships that God doesn't it always ends bad for you and you see this that they were impatient and they didn't believe the promise enough to wait on it so my question is to every person in this room is how many relationships do you have in your life as a result of you not waiting on the Lord well that's my bro I'm not talking no you can't be talking about him that's my doll he holds me down literally remember that casting off every weight he's holding you and this relationship that Abram had with Hagar is one that is going to pan out over about five chapters of the Bible to have held him down and cause relational issues with his promise because he invited something in that was never supposed to be there when you don't wait on the Lord you give the enemy opportunity to introduce you to counterfeits when you don't wait up on the Lord you give the enemy entrance to introduce you to counterfeit and then we deal with the results of counterfeit relationships we deal with the results of counterfeit opportunities and then we have to get healed and delivered from something god never meant for us to experience so how do you know a relationship is supposed to end when you started it and God didn't I need you to hear that because perception is everything look at verse two when when Sarah comes here she says so Sarah said to Abram the Lord has prevented me from having children see this is my perception is so so key because the Lord wasn't preventing her from having children he was preparing her to have children but if you have the wrong perception you will get with the wrong partners and you will have a wrong pregnancy because her perception was broken she tried to partner her husband up with somebody else and they got pregnant with something illegitimate and many of us are sitting here carrying around things that were birthed out of illegitimate relationships you got insecurities that didn't even come from people who are supposed to be in your life like because you hooked up with them now yourself cuz you thought you was fine before you got real you thought you was banging now you was with him for six months and you look at yourself worse than you ever have that was an illegitimate mint baby that was formed by a wrong partnership you used to know that you were called by God and know you could be used by God and now you questioning can I even pray out loud but those were things that with the wrong perception and that's the enemy's planned to think to make us think that God's keeping something from us and that he's not preparing something for but my Bible says that that that that God had friends for you before you even got here to prosper you to give you a hope in the future and we have to turn off the lie of the enemy because if we don't we open ourselves to wrong relationships and we come pregnant with something that will bring us pain in the end an Abraham Abram and Sarah I don't even know it yet so then she says go and sleep with my servant perhaps this is so sad perhaps I can have children or let me see it a different way perhaps I can get the promise through somebody else God will never bring your promise through somebody else like he will never fulfill his word to you through somebody else and that's why I tell people don't get married because of what they do get married because y'all are called to be together because you won't fulfill purpose because they fulfilling purpose you have to know the race that God has called you to run by yourself so that's why I read I live my life according to proverbs 3:5 it's familiar but it brings new content when we talk about relationships and it says trust in the Lord with all of your heart do not depend on your own understanding you know I can understand this makes sense to Sarai and Abram I'm old and dusty he's old and dusty I know I can't have no kids but he might have a couple swimmers left in there let me go ahead and hook him up with somebody I know has some childbearing hips you can get us baby about but many times if we lean to our own understanding we get in trouble so the Bible tells us trust in the Lord don't lean to this because that logically makes sense but then What did he say seek God's will in all you do another translation says acknowledge God in everything you do and he will show you which path to take so that means that before we get into any relationship we need to be acknowledging God and asking him is this the path I'm supposed to take and I don't know about you but I'm guilty of getting into things and then asking God to bless it afterwards okay can we be honest can we have a hot moment how many people will get into stuff and be like god this could you please okay like this one looks good and so God gave me verbage for this he said Michael I don't want you to do anything without permission to pursue don't do it without permission to pursue that's what I pray I don't take a business deal anymore without permission to pursue I don't take an engagement out to speak somewhere else without permission to pursue I don't get in relationship without permission to pursue because if I link to my own understanding I don't see all of the other things that are gonna happen with that but God sees all things that are gonna happen so when I acknowledge him and be like God hey is this am I supposed to get into business with them do I have permission to pursue and I feel peace and I feel God saying yes and I'm not talking about an audible yes son you're supposed to pursue coz y'all get so deep sometimes I'm not talking about that but when I pray and I feel that peace and I don't get a check in my sum and I really prayed not not at the business table not at the door not at the altar he didn't want no no it's too late but do I have permission to pursue I found that even if I make the wrong decision God comes back and honor it because I acknowledged him because even if I didn't hear because the Bible tell us we hear and see through a glass darkly like we're not gonna get everything right as your pastor I miss it sometimes I'll be like God told me to do this and then it pans out like God was nowhere near that do you understand what I'm saying but my heart was right towards it and I tried to acknowledge God and so I think that we need to go back and evaluate all of our relationships in ask our do I have permission to pursue this that school opportunity that business deal that promotion I know you're gonna make more money but is that going to open you to a level of greed that's going to corrupt your soul and what does it profit a man to gain the whole world but loses so God do I have permission to pursue this because you want what's best for me you want what's good for me you want everything and that's what Sarah and Abram should have asked do I have permission to pursue but no they did like most of us we're gonna make this happen and we're gonna pray that God blesses it but it works out for a bad situation and then God turns it good can I just give you this one nugget I'm the best time to end something is before it begins like like the best time to fire somebody is before you hire them like the best time to break up with somebody as before you get with them but you can't do that if you don't have a standard without a standard everybody is able everybody is available and God wants us to set a standard and what is the standard it's the Word of God because when the word of God becomes our standard were able to measure people against that when the Bible says don't make friends with angry people because they will lead you down a wrong path a lot of people be like oh he's in my boyfriend I mean you got a temper like you know it like like you'll know it but when we don't make the Word of God our standard we accept everything into our life and then we have to live with the damage it's again that iron mixing with that wood and one becomes damaged and the other becomes dull so Hebrews 10 36 says pace endurance is what you need now so that you will continue to do God's will then you will receive all that he has so it might be the time for you to end a relationship I don't know I'm not telling you you need the end of relationship but it might be a sign that you need the inner relationship in your life when you started it and God didn't so at the end of verse 4 Hagar is just wiling she walking around with her belly out she's like haha I'm pregnant by oh man and and that that's what the Bible says she says she's treating her with contempt she's gloating and flaunting what has happened in her life and and then look at verse 5 and this is where it gets real then Sarai said to Abraham this is out yes but now she pregnant the Lord will show you who's wrong who's wrong you or me and Abraham replied hold on hold up look look this was your idea do you understand what I'm saying she's your service so you deal with her as you see fit then Sarah treated Hagar so harshly that she finally ran away what I draw from this how do you know a relationship needs to end point number 2 when no one wants to deal with the real issues like they just started arguing but not about the issue they started arguing about the outcome of the real issue they never talked about the real issue and doesn't that seem like a lot of relationships that we have with family members like you have problems with February's right now like you're dreading going home for Thanksgiving but it's been 15 years and y'all never talked about the issue you not know you know the issue I'm talking about the one that if you just get close around it you get sore like people in relationships right now and they'll never talk about the actual issue look just in these two verses I see anger I see blame-shifting I see avoidance Abraham was like girl that I ain't do nothing that was you that you did that you deal with her and like most men would we would just be like I don't know nothing about that you go ahead and handle it and I see self-righteousness I see comparison I see apathy and then even at the end I see revenge those are real issues that they never addressed can I help you that it may be time for a relationship to end when nobody's mature enough to address the real issues see because the thing that we know about relationship is our relationships have problems every single one of them wrong relationship have unaddressed issues I need you to hear me say that our relationship have problems unhealthy or wrong relationships have unaddressed problems and they fester like a cancer and this would go on in Abram and Sarah's life in the background while God's blessing them what while she's giving them descendants of nations Wow while everything looked good on the service its festering and causing pain and problems in their lives my question is how many relationships do we have in our lives where we've never dealt with the real issue and it's festering where nobody can see it where nobody's talking about it we're gonna come in and smile that's a lie there's real hurt there's real pain but nobody wants to deal with the issues see within relationship when you avoid the real issue you ensure the relationship death when you avoid it when we won't go close to it when we don't bring it to God when we don't say God revealing me what's wrong not just them because a lot of us we want issues to be all their problem but it takes two people to tango there's issues on both part if we don't want to deal with the real issues we're ensuring that that relation she's gonna die at some point so it may be advantageous for us to walk in honesty and truth look what Colossians 3 9 says it says don't lie to each other like just stop don't lie to each other for you have stripped off your old sinful nature remember we're laying down stuff again we're stripping things off you've already stripped off that sinful nature and it all of its wicked deeds what what what I'm saying right here through this scripture is that if you're gonna be in relationship with somebody it should be completely honest because at the moment it's not completely honest it's gonna create problems for you at a later time so I don't know but a sign that a relationship may need to end I don't know maybe maybe it's not maybe maybe you can keep that going keep that festering cancer just down there and keep it suppressed but maybe a sign that it needs to end is that nobody wants to deal with the real issues so we end right there in this moment Hagar runs off because Sarah punched her and beat up a pregnant woman she runs out that's how I read the Bible says she treated her so bad that she ran off I just imagined she came in swinging so she she she messed her up and she ran off she had an experience with God she came back to the house and and I know Abraham was like oh dang why she come back because that's how our situations do sometimes we think they're gone but they keep coming back and look at Genesis chapter 16 verse 15 it says so Hagar and Abraham had a son that wasn't Sarah and Abraham that was Hagar and Abraham because they tried to do something God wasn't in and they named him Ishmael Abraham was 86 years old when Ishmael was born why did you put that in there because drama doesn't have an age limit because some of y'all you here well y'all hear me speak up like that's for them young folks they dealing with love all that passion burning all this other stuff you have friends that you gossip with every Tuesday and those godly seeds are coming out of you I age does not matter sin and falling away from God will find everybody Abraham was 686 years old in drama and it's going to take the God of the universe to come deliver him so that was just for some self righteous people who were sitting out here just saying that's for y'all young folk bless you so chapter 17 Abram Abraham's name has changed to Abraham and Sarah's name has changed to Sarah verse 8 chapter 18 Sarah gets a promise from God because she was doubting and-and-and the promise came and she laughed and she's like there's no way remember I am dusty and old he is dusty and old we tried this one time with the wrong relationship it's not gonna happen and God said did you laugh she's no no I didn't laugh he said yes you did laugh I said watch me fulfill my promise and it comes in chapter 21 in chapter 21 fourteen years I want you to look at this 14 years after they tried to make a way for themselves now you've been waiting 14 days and we ready to give up God has forgotten he no longer sees his servant praying and crying out no he's gone fulfill his promise but it just might not be on your timetable and 14 years later he delivers the promise called Isaac now watch what happens because everything was beautiful I mean amazing blissful for seven verses and then the problem we created comes back and knocks on our door the wrong relationship that we started comes back and tries to delay our future look at it Genesis chapter 21 verse 8 so when Isaac grew up and was about to be weaned Abraham prepared a huge feast to celebrate the occasion but Sarah saw Ishmael the son of Abraham and her Egyptian servant Hagar making fun of her son Isaac oh no he did now there's few things on earth that get a woman riled up like somebody picking on a child like my wife gets mad at other people's kids for picking on other people's kids like there's this maternal instinct that you don't mess with my kid and Abram and Hagar 's illegitimate product is making fun of Abraham and Sarah's promise okay so I want to help you understand it so she turned to Abram Abraham and tomatoes I mean I know her hand was on her hip she said get back get rid of that slave woman and her son now remember it was her idea cuz sometimes our own ideas grow up to become the thing that torment us our own desires our own relationship once our the things that grow up to to torment us look at it she said but you get rid of it he is not going to share the inheritance with NASA I said just in case you forgot I don't know no y'all get crazy when y'all get crazy what is all those tongs and all of those whispering you know when somebody mad and they start whispering that's when it's real serious I won't fight like that's when you like okay all right I'm done so my last point is how do you know what relationship needs to end when what the relationship produces is picking on your promise how do you know a relationship needs to end when what your relationship produces the outcome of you being a relationship with that person when it starts picking on what God has called you to have can I give you some practical examples like if I'm in relationship with a woman and what our relationship is producing is lust it starts bullying or picking on my purity and purity is the promise that God has for me as a believer in Jesus Christ but if my relationship is bullying my promise it's time for that relationship to him if getting in partnership with that business partner and our business together our relationship together it's producing greed in me that is bullying or punking generosity which is the promise God wants me to have see see I just want you if the relationship that you're in is abusive and it's producing fear that fear is going to begin to Punk your faith and that's why you have so many people in the body of Christ that are trying to believe for something but they're tied to wrong relationships who are bullying their promise that I'm supposed to do this I know I got a book in me I know God has a big part for my life but I'm tied to something that keeps picking on what God told me I was supposed to have some of you in this room have a relationship with somebody and what that relationship is producing this isolation for you an isolation is picking on the godly community he wants you to be in got somebody who won't let you go something that won't let you be able to be all that gods and I'm telling you that this may be more serious than anything in your life if you have a relationship in your life that is bullying or picking on your promise what God wanted Ishmael was not even supposed to be here and when Sarah saw her son the promise getting punked and bullied by the illegitimate product of the relationship she says she got to go the same way some of you need to get indignant about relationships and people who have been stealing from you and punking you of your promise and you need to say you know what I know we've had a good thing but you've got to go I know we've been friends for 15 years but you've got to go I know I've had a love relationship with this computer and this website for years when we did that detox I know of one person who threw away a brand-new Mac computer somebody else like oh could hear please giving that to me but the problem he said is that every time I open that computer he said I only was doing one thing I was in a relationship a soul tie with the pornographic website and so I had to take the whole computer and I had to get rid of it because it wasn't worth my promise and see if you think what you have right now is more than what God has promised you you'll fool yourself and you'll keep ungodly relationships things that are weighing you down attached to you and God says let it go and I know that's harder to do than it is to say because Abraham in the next verse it says verse 11 it says this upset Abraham very much because Ishmael was his son like that sucks because at the end of the day Hagar and Abraham they held each other at night like they had something it was easy for Sarah to say get her out of here but but she wasn't there when they were exchanging secrets they weren't there she wasn't there when he probably had to hold her hand while she was giving birth to the illegitimate child so forms connect even if it's illegitimate see the reason why it's so important that you don't get an ungodly relationship is because you can become attached have you ever seen a castaway with Tom Hanks and that he's on an island and his best friend becomes the ball named Wilson because attachments can form with anything especially when you're desperate and Abraham was saying Abraham was saying man I got something with her this is hard but look at it everybody is better off when you let it go look at verse 12 what God tells Abram he says but God told him do not be upset over the boy and your servant do whatever say Sara tells you what she tell him get back for Isaac is the Sun through him who your descendants will be counted or Isaac is the promise that's what I really want for you I want you to experience your promise but I will also look how good our God is I will also make a nation of the descendants of Hagar son because he is your son - what are you trying to say pastor Mike when you end the relationship that's taking from you everybody gets blessed like like what you're trying to hold on to God saying cut it off because they get more blessed when you let him go and you get more blessed with you let it go he said I'll bless him too if you just let it go somebody needs to hear me right now who's been holding on to an abusive relationship who've stayed at a job too long who's done things and trying to do that because God says if you let it go if you end it if you know this relationship everybody gets blessed so what did God tell Abraham to do he told him to end it and these are the four attributes of how he told him to end it in one verse he said end it quickly write that down end it quickly so Abraham got up early the next morning that that's what the Bible says in verse 14 now if I didn't really want to do something if I was an emotional I would have slept in that day you know what I'm saying like if God told me I was like okay now I'm going I'm going to tell her she got to go I would have slept in till noon but what did Abraham do he said when God told him that if you end this because it's taken from you I'm gonna bless you I'm gonna bless him he ended it quickly I'm telling some of you that have been hanging on to things and trying to work them out and figuring out for all the pieces took the right time to do that they'll never be a right time today is the best time for you to do you need to end it and you need to end it quickly he rose up early the next morning and then look what he said he said but he prepared food and a container of water and strapped them to hagar shoulder what's the second thing how he ended it he ended it with blessings see the character that God is developing in you is that even when they don't deserve it and he could have done that so nasty you're supposed to end things with blessing even when they do you even when they talk about you even when you know they're going out to probably badmouth you and tell everybody who you are you end it with blessing this man packed he packed food he didn't say he had another servant pack the food he went and did it himself he packed food he packed water and he even said here let me put it on your back and let me help you go to your next destination as believers we're not supposed to leave note since they get out and it's over unless the situation calls for because there are some situations that are dangerous and abusive and different things like that and that's why I love the Word of God because it just covers itself look at what the word says in Romans 12:18 it starts with if possible so I'm telling you in relationship if possible Romans 12:18 so far as it pertains or depends on you live peaceably with everybody so I'm telling you if you can end stuff peaceably if possible cuz you know some people crazy let's just be honest some people crazy it is better to send them a text like don't ever call me again like and block them but if you can be a blessing on the way out like let me show you one way to be a blessing give them all their stuff back take all this stuff even the ring in the shoes you have on right now go give it back to him I don't want any the material things can can be replaced but this is not worth my promise okay and then look what it says it says then he sent her away with their son I bet that was hard but the way he ended it he ended it intentionally and many people are ending relationships very vague they're saying stuff like this you know just for this season I just know we're supposed to take a break that leaves an open door for people and things to come back he sent her away you got to go this is intentional like this is not a oh ah do you remember do you it's not that it's like you got to go and I'm telling some of you there are things that have been robbing you of your promise that you you're not gonna be passive about this you're gonna say you've got to go you've got to get out of here I can no longer have association with you because you will rob me of my promise and the last thing how he ended it he ended it trusting God he held on to the promise that God said because look God did it before see the last time there even reason he got into this is cuz he didn't trust and believe God's promise so when God promised Isaac and Isaac actually came now he can believe the Word of God and so when God told him don't worry about the boy or the woman I'm gonna take care of them he believed the promise he said I trust you God I trust you with their future I trust you with my future they were yours before me they were yours with me and they'll be yours after me I trust you God and look what happens when we trust God and we do what's best for us in verse 20 of that that same chapter says and God was with the boy as he grew up in the wilderness and he became a skilful archer and he even got married listen to me what I'm saying is what you think you're doing - somebody God is using to get them dependent on him see you've been their Savior and God said I'm already being that if you get out the way I could truly be if their Savior see if I had more time I'd tell you about how Hagar went out into the desert and she had nothing but she had an encounter with God and after she had an encounter with God God came down and he saved that woman and she saved that boy and she named the place the place where God hears the tears in the pressure she got a real relationship with God because she got from around Abram he was the Savior but then she met the Savior in a place of wilderness and so when you cut people off you got to trust God with it so I asked you again today as a church how do you know that a relationship is supposed to end when you started it and God did when no one wants to deal with the real issues and when what the relationship produces is picking on your promise today God wants to remind you of hubris 12:1 therefore since we are surrounded with such a huge crowd of witnesses to this life of faith let us strip off every weight including relational liabilities that slows us down as we in this relationship goal series I want you to go evaluate every relationship that you have and you need to determine is it a liability or is it an asset because if it's a liability if it's slowing you down it's time to lay aside that way I don't want you to ever forget the example will you be the ax that will be sharpened against something that is made of the same material or will you be damaged and Oh father I pray for every person under the sound of my voice father you've spoken and you've spoken clearly today I thank you Father God that you are searching our hearts and you're illuminating our relationships God if there's anything in our lives or anyone in our lives that is slowing us down and keeping us from our promise or just picking on our promise father god I thank you that you're revealed to us you'll show us God you allow us to move in healthy relationships in right community father with people who are for us and not against us holy spirit were asking for you to be the one who revealed god we need your help because our heart is involved God we've made relationships and done things and been around people for so long that we might not even know how to even begin but father your word says that you're a good father and if we need help for anything we can ask so today we ask for your help to reveal every relationship in our life that's not like you and cleanly give us the courage to end it quickly to end it with blessing to end it intentionally and to into trusting you that your plan for our life is better than anything we could ever draw up God you want us to win in relationship and today we submit our lives to you and we will listen and obey in Jesus name we agree amen can we give God some praise right now hallelujah [Applause]

Channel: Transformation Church

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Id: _SPRIigN8WM

Length: 58min 4sec (3484 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 25 2017