When Was It Satisfying To Catch A Liar? (r/AskReddit)

what was the most satisfying time where you caught someone lying I travel for work I 90% of the time park in economy at the airport I think 14 dollars per day about a 10 to 15 minutes walk a few times out of necessity to catch a flight I park in the garage I think $24 per day five minutes walk usually two to three day trips not a huge expense my boss suggests I parking off-site shuttle parking about $11 a day but a pain in the butt as you need a bunch more time to plan for the shuttle he said he does it because it is cheaper for the company which he owns one day while walking through the garage from on-site economy there in the reserved parking closest and like $40 per day is my boss's truck and reserve takes planning he wasn't just running late and needed to park in the garage to make a flight I just put my business card under his wiper I never brought it up and I haven't heard any complaints about parking on my expense reports since I love the elegance of your method foo boy so in college I had this friend who was a very good pole vaulter seriously one of the top in the state for his division this was back in 2008 he tells all of his family and friends and even his boss that he was recruited to compete in the Beijing Olympics well his close friends including myself already corbels but when the day comes he is nowhere to be found in fact we didn't see him for a couple of days and he started texting pics from Beijing so we were doubting ourselves a bit then we were driving along the freeway and guess who's broken down on the side of the road like two days after he left mr. Olympian when we pulled over the look on his face was priceless he stood by his story too and said because of the time difference he already went and came back haha he's a frickin idiot I still don't know what he had to gain from such an elaborate bulls story I work at a daycare if a child is sick they will be sent home cause we don't want a risk infecting the whole class generally happens anyway a lot parents don't agree with this policy which leads to parents arguing with us that their kid isn't sick when they obviously are my favorite time this happened was when a mother dropped her little boy off in an eyepatch yet the toddler was wearing a dang eyepatch I asked what happened and she says he hit his eye or something which I didn't really believe she says whatever I do don't take off his eyepatch I pick him up and immediately lift up his eye patch pinkeye she was syrupy at me for doing that and she was shocked I did it the look on her face was so satisfying although I got yelled at by my supervisor for it should have asked the super whether they'd rather have one pea of parent or 30 I used to work at a grocery store one of my co-workers was constantly calling in sick claiming she had one illness or another management couldn't just can her for it's as it was a union shop so she had protection unless she could be caught in a bald-faced and indefensible lie one Friday I get called in to cover her shift because she called in claiming she was very sick and needed a kidney transplant on her next [ __ ] on Monday she's wandering around with girls wrapped around her stomach and back claiming that she had that kidney transplant on the weekend that she had been so sick that they rushed her into surgery and put her at the top of the transplant list when she does it to me I stopped her and say isn't the recovery time on a transplant at least a month or two the hospital shouldn't have let you out realizing I've caught her in a lie she rushes to the front desk claims she shouldn't be here in that she needs to go home or shall popper surgery stitches a few days later she was fired when she couldn't provide proof of the surgery she tried to sue but no lawyer would take her case it was hilarious I'm a librarian and I'm actually very proud of this one back then I was in charge of the cinema and music section of my library this guy came with his son and asked me where to find our Puff Daddy CDs we have one and I showed him on the shelves where to find it then I was called in another place of the library and go on my colleagues on my way back to the music section I see him coming out of the library and I don't know why maybe he seemed dodgy but I have a feeling something is wrong I go check the CD is gone it's not appearing on his library card so he didn't borrow it I have a look if he didn't misplace it but it's not there the guy just stole the freaking Puff Daddy CD with his 8 years old son from a public library where you can borrow IT for free at this point I do nothing because we have no proof and no security camera a few weeks later the son and his sister 8 and 10 years old come to the library again and borrow some CD I'm watching them and to my knowledge they didn't steal anything and I don't want to confront them because it would break my heart to have them stopping to come to the library because of their father Bulls but this whole story still bother me so a few months later I decide to try something I still had the stolen CD barcode and I just decided to add it to their library card as if they borrowed it worst case scenario they say they don't have it and I apologize and say that it's a mistake from the library a few days later they arrive take some documents return some and just before leaving I proceeded to explain them that they still have a document a Puff Daddy CD that they need to return the look of panic in their eyes and in comprehension was just delightful they didn't say anything and a few days later they came back with the CD I don't really care about Puff Daddy and we could easily have replaced it but just for the principal it was one of my greatest victories the best part of that one is not that they were taught a lesson not to steal but rather they now probably think the library has some magical method of knowing when an item leaves even if it isn't properly checked out they got some senses or something which means they'll likely never do it again in any library due to the futility nicely done I helped an older woman who mistakenly rented a room in her house to the most evil family I've ever met she offered the two rooms and private bathroom to the family of four because the house they were renting caught fire and they were forced out into a hotel she just wanted to help took them dinners out to their hotel and all the insane things you'd imagine the nicest person in the world to do so they stabbed her in the back never paid rent abuse the heck out of her laundry machine and ate her food so I went over one day and could hear the toilet running from the hallway they didn't give a crap about wasting water so I grabbed a recorder and knocked on the door asking if I could come in and check on the running toilet the mother just banged on the door back at me so loud it sounded like she was going to break the door then shouted at me through the door about how she was going to bury the old woman in the backyard she eventually led me in I fixed the toilet and moved on to other projects around the house a figured that was over with nope about 15 minutes later I see a cop car in the driveway okay this is bulls but I guess I should go talk to them cop sees me coming and as soon as I was within earshot he starts lecturing me about how illegal it is to harass tenants I stopped him and said you're yelling at me without even asking for my side of the story would you like to hear what actually happened so I played the recording he spun around and unleashed heck fury on this woman for lying to him all while I stood there smiling at her from over his shoulder I'll never forget that feeling of actual justice in the middle of a rape month-long nightmare please tell me the tenants were removed I was around 15 years old and had a package delivered to my house my Seacat neighbor came over paced back and forth in front of the door before smoothly opening our gate coming to the door and picking up my package I opened the door as she was walking off and she turned white as a ghost when she heard the door open when I asked her WTF she was doing with my package she explained to me that she was going to protect it for me that she didn't know it was mine before I demanded she hand over my package and leave I snapped at this lady which was abnormal for sure little 15 year old me I was furious because what was in side that package was a gift for my mother who was at work at the time I'll never forget that one of my staff who is unfortunately family with the inner cell he's not getting canned anytime soon is the biggest liar I have ever met we'll call him Jim he lies about everything regardless of importance he's been caught in lies multiple times and really just doesn't care if someone is sick guaranteed he will be off the next day having caught whatever someone had it's my whole department is female five females except for him one day almost all of us were suffering from some horrible period cramps everyone was complaining about the pain but no one said it was because of their period because it's usually pretty obvious why the HR department is a wonderful supply of medicine so I had to empty their stock of my doll and heat pads some of the staff was teasing that they will bring chocolate as a peace offering before entering our department the next day he emails in that he's sick and he caught the horrible stomach bug all the ladies in the department had he's so so he can't move has a migraine blah blah word spread quickly and Jim has forever been mocked as the dude who had to take time off work for his period he won't be let go but he does get his pay docked when he flakes off like this it was worth it to be able to make fun of him forever when I moved out of her house I had been renting years ago the landlady decided that she wanted to keep my security deposit we had been on friendly terms for the five plus years I had lived there she even invited me to dinner parties at her house I had been a model tenant so I don't know why she turned on me aside from pure greed but when I persisted in asking her for the money she started making up reasons to keep it claiming that she had to do costly cleanup of some mess are allegedly left by luck before things went sour I had arranged to store some furniture at the property until I was ready for it when I went to retrieve it it was obvious that the property was exactly as I had left it and the details of what she had claimed were entirely false she had no answer when I confronted her with this fact and she finally grudgingly paid up I still see her around and she tries to act like nothing ever happened but she is dead to me how someone can let a little money trumple reason and integrity is beyond me in a large business meeting boardroom style something went wrong on a project my company did the executives were nervous as heck because we were being blamed for a failure and the client was demanding we pay for it the thing is I was the project manager for this job and had recently been promoted I warned the client about a potential problem when the project was underway but they chose to ignore it and press on now that it was failing they wanted us to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to fix it and our competitors were already about to take the next multi-million dollar sign project so the clients manager outlines his case and asks when he can expect us to fix it for him assuming we'll just cave in hopes of getting future business that's my company's MO they even said our on-site rep should have caught the problem so this whole thing was our fault our project manager clearly didn't know what he was doing otherwise he would of course this my boss was about to respond but I gently interrupted I basically said I was the on-site p.m. and did catch the problem immediately I have a few documents for your perusal I had with me the printed email exchange where I want about the problem and advised how to fix it as well as the clients very clear response that they thought it was worth the risk and wouldn't change anything the clients face turned red he looked at my bosses and said they should have told him who I was we wound up paying for the fix anyway in exchange for being awarded the next project this kind of thing happens constantly in my business they're usually on a much smaller less grand and less public scale a my entire job is higher you should have told us ahead of time so I know which lies to use I come from a smallish town brother made it the MLB was at the grocery store with my dad who was wearing the MLB teams jacket at a time checker says to us you know I helped that kid get to the majors my dad just politely pulled out his it and told him to check the last name checker just laughed embarrassingly immediately shut up and gave us extra monopoly tickets for our time at work one day a co-worker started telling me and another co-worker a story about being stopped by the police he went into great detail about how he stopped at a gas station for a drink and there were two cops standing out front and nobody else in the parking lot he gave the cops a wave being nice bought his drink and left less than a hundred feet down the street these same two cops pulled him over they told him that they smelled weed when he got out of the car he asked the cops if they could smell it now standing next to his open window they said no but it was obvious it came from him they asked if they could search his car which he angrily led them telling them he wanted the cops to climb through his hot car to find nothing while one cop did the search the other cop told him to calm down he looked nervous to which he said I'm not P I'm angry you didn't smell weed you smell the shaved head in tattoos the cops found nothing and let him go about his business the lie it was my story it happened to any months before and I told that story at work back then he even quoted me except I said long hair and tattoos a few minutes into the story my other coworker and I start giving each other the side I realizing he was literally telling me my own story I think he realized it towards the end because he quickly finished up the story and left without ever mentioning it again we never brought it up either I had such a bad case of second-hand embarrassments for the guy class everybody else already heard about it and he was forever branded Valaya when his ex-girlfriend sent me a picture of a pregnancy test but couldn't hold it up to a daily newspaper she broke and admitted it was fake queen of douche freak that crap I had a girl do the same thing found out that she lived in so many places because that's how she makes money fake abortions it made my heart hurt and my dong feel sick I caught my mom eating my Halloween candy when I was little after she told me it wasn't her getting new candy from the store because of it was pretty satisfying in my house that was cool dad tax and everyone had to pay I knew my ex-wife was cheating but didn't tell her that I knew took her out to dinner and I casually asked questions about who she had been spending time with while I was at sea she barely worked so she had to spend her time doing something but she failed to mention the guy that had been staying at my house for nearly two months the guy she had to call the cops of just to get to leave because I was coming home in two days sooo I slid her a copy of the police report that was filed for the incident and watched as she crumbled over the fact she had been caught and I didn't have to say a word divorce court was even more satisfying in case anyone was wondering please elaborate on court law sued a bloke from not paying his mortgage he filed an application claiming he'd never been served with the court proceedings and he'd just found them in his front yard he also managed in two pages to set out eleven separate claim defenses to the claim oh and he also claimed he didn't speak at a good English something didn't stack up so I ran some court file searches and discovered he'd defaulted on another mortgage a few years earlier and filed the exact same affidavit back then even included the exact same photos of the court documents supposedly lying in his yard the case did not end well for him I played college basketball and one of my team mates had a chronic condition with the truth my first summer we were roommates and I always suspected he was stealing my clothes at one point every player received a custom pair of Jordans in our schools colors but within a week mine went missing a month later I noticed my room mate teammate was wearing a pair of Jordans later in the day we were in a gym and I waited until we were all relaxing and he had the soles of his shoes facing forward as he sat I told all of my other team mates what I suspected and approached him hey have you seen my Jordans naa I already told you now leave me alone then why is my number written on the soles of the shoes you're wearing the team equipment staff had predicted some shoes might go missing so they had marked each pair I made him take the shoes off right there since I couldn't trust her get them back at the end of the after that his nickname on the team was Simba for being The Lion King one more story since people found the first amusing we had an athletic trainer whose job it was to make sure we were taking care of our bodies if we got hurt it was his responsibility to make sure we were getting treatment before and after every practice or game my teammate roommate had sprained his ankle earlier that week in practice and the rule was if you weren't with the training staff getting treatment then you weren't really hurt skipping treatment but saying you were hurt was a huge no-no with our coach I wasn't there for my own injury and the trainer comes up to say where's your roommate he was supposed to be here 30 minutes ago and practice starts soon I didn't know so the trainer calls him over the phone my roommate tells our trainer that he's just getting out of class on campus and it'll take him at least another 20 minutes to get back so no time for treatment the trainer hung up the phone and stared at me with an incredulous look this nfo just told me he was on campus I called his room phone once had a person work for me who would always call out and use her past health problems as a crutch to miss work all the time one Monday she called in gave me some generic illness excuse and said she couldn't get out of bed in that morning another department had a breakfast meeting at IHOP I um and saw her there eating breakfast with her friends looking like she was in perfect health the picture evidence sent to me was oh so satisfying I was in a bar having some beers when I feel a tap on my shoulder it was a guy I went to school with I didn't really hang out with him back then but decided to catch up and share stories anyways at one point he mentioned sleeping with a girl I knew very well a girl I knew for a fact was a virgin until after she graduated I just kind of nodded and let him go then I said something along the lines of oh I actually know her very well we'll have to hit her up she comes out and drinks with me all the time he turned white the look of horror in his eyes was great my sister is a really cute blonde she's heard of plenty of wild nights she's had that have never happened some guys are just got holes who play pretend a lot I had a boss who kept on getting angry at me because I wasn't doing what he told me to do finally one day I decided to start writing down exactly what he told me dated it and kept record of it but then one day came where inevitably what the heck are you doing exactly what you told me to do I never told you to do that well I have it written here pulls out note card on the 22nd of May 2016 you told me specifically to do this task exactly like this and never do it any other way I finally won I started standing up for myself a bit more in the office and I was respected for it someone put down two sevens but I had all four of them ah the time horn or game of balls pretty inexcusable honestly I'm a single mother and I took my car in to get serviced post Thomas fire I expected that my cabin air filters were full of crap and soot and I didn't want my kids breathing that so I popped them out and replaced them myself before taking the car in I get to the dealership when it reopens and say I need the oil change and a once-over about three hours later I get a call that says man you need a new timing belt a new starter and cabin air filters I was like oh really I said I'll be right there because I want to see what they look like and the guys actually showed me some really black filters I pulled out my receipt for the filters bought the day before and said so were you going to put dealer filters in or just leave in the filters from Pep Boys that I bought and installed yesterday he was toast I asked about the timing belt because my car doesn't have one it has a chain and said so can you show me the timing belt issues he took me to the car and pop the hood and then started looking for something that wasn't there I told him he could just stop right there and get the manager the manager was sort of annoyed and insisted there must have been a mistake and my guy must have called the wrong person until I pointed out that he took me to the correct vehicle and that my name matched the paperwork the guy had been holding he offered to do the oil change for free but by that point I just said I'll take it somewhere I trust I dated this guy off and on for about a year things didn't always add up but I was young and dumb and made excuses during that year his mom passed away from pancreatic cancer he relapsed and then went to rehab and after he got out he moved a few states away for a fresh stop near where his grandparents lived we decided we were done at that point but he still emailed occasionally and a couple times he'd randomly show up on my doorstep saying he was in town and needed to see me after one such surprise visit I emailed him and said that I couldn't keep doing this and to please not come by anymore a year or so passed and I got a bug up my butt one night to Google him and found a baby registry with his name on it looked up the baby mom on Facebook and found pictures of them together living together just a few hours away and during the time that he and I were dating I was able to determine that when we first started seeing each other they weren't together but when he was supposedly in California and missed me so much and didn't want to be with anyone else he was actually just a few hours away with her like the kicker his mom was still alive too it became clear to me that he was a pathological liar and I'd basically fallen in love with someone that didn't really exist here's a satisfying part literally the next day he showed up on my doorstep the first thing I said is where's w baby mama does she know you're here his face dropped he started stammering making excuses that I didn't know what was really going on he even insisted that his mom was dead I felt like I was in a girl-power movie moment as I told him to get the Frick off my porch and never come see me again [ __ ] but employee I used to manage called off and I knew he was bullshitting said he was sick as heck until I showed him and the GM his Facebook had checked him into about six different bars during a block party at the time he was supposed to be working rookie error skiving 101 is to make sure nothing is on social media the best times are when you've got other people standing off to the side so you can give them a little glance to see if they've caught on to the bull's guest lied to me that he paid for two nights and wouldn't leave the room made me go through this giant ordeal of calling all the front desk employees and double-check all their work he threw a huge fit calling me a big stupid CTC he jets out of the parking lot and the police I called pull him over and take him in coworkers and I still play it on the camera and laugh about it while props to him he managed to get the second night for free in the end in jail best friend and I decided to be roommates in college and our closet was shared to four girls that usually means we will inevitably borrow each other's clothes since it's all out for display so we agreed we to share as long as we asked the other person before wearing a piece I quickly realized that she was taking a lot of my clothes without asking me and leaving them in her hamper which wasn't a big deal because I just take them back I started going home some weekends and when I came back items of clothing would go missing so from then on I'd take pictures of my drawers so I could tell if they've been moved around when I came back one day she was packing to go on a road trip and at the last minute went into the closet and pulled out some of my clothes and quickly stuffed them in her suitcase hoping I wouldn't see during her trip I texted her asking if she knew where those clothes were and she said she had no idea I kept quiet through all of this until one day I had enough because she had taken one of my favorite shirts worried while I was gone one weekend and shoved it back covered in stains I also found more of my things moved around like makeup toiletries and even my GoPro handle had been taken off the camera and put back poorly I have terrible anxiety so it took a lot to confront her but I pulled out the shirt and told her it had been moved from its position and stained she denied it and said she'd never touch my things without asking me because she'd never do that to her friends I proceeded to show her pictures of my closet moved around how I have been tracking my things how I had seen her specifically grabbed my clothes at the last minute before a her trip she was dumbfounded and flustered and continued to say how it was an accident or she's too shy to ask I told her I had been watching this since November it was April and the look on her face was so satisfying eventually she said sorry I won't borrow your things anymore which was fine but made me realize how cautious I have to be from now on ex-girlfriend told me she was going to a girls-only pool party with some of her fellow waitresses from the restaurant she worked at I had felt something weird going on for a bit and had put a lot of effort into making that night a surprise date night I worked that morning while she worked in the evening while she was at work I cleaned the whole apartment that we shared cooked a fancy surf-and-turf dinner with filet mignon lobster tails butter pasta expensive wine etc also rented a few movies I knew she would like so when after dinner she suddenly told me she was going to this pool party at around 10:00 p.m. and I couldn't come I was pretty exasperated and knew something was not right noticed she was putting her phone facedown every time she received a text about this party while she is putting on her hottest bikini to wear under her clothes on her way over to this party I decide to look at the phone and it's some dude from her work under the name Angela in her phone telling her he can't wait to see her can't stop thinking about the other night etc scroll down a bit and they even said they loved each other there's not really a worse feeling in the world when you are in love with someone and they do that to you she comes back into the room and queue one of the worst nights I've ever had if she blames all of this on me not proposing to her quickly enough we were 22 relatively poor and in college and I did want very much to marry her she trashes the apartment breaks the screen off of my laptop cuts up a few of my favorite shirts and breaks my phone after going through it looking for some sort of justification for her actions and finding none by throwing it at the wall and stomping on it but hey it was satisfying knowing that I wasn't going crazy and I learned some valuable life lessons I did want very much to marry her sounds like you dodged a bullet mate I had a really low serial number two dollars bill something like zero zero zero zero zero one zero zero crisp new I showed my cousin while he was visiting one day it went missing afterwards a few weeks later was at my cousin's house and noticed it hidden while he was tooling around his his closet looking for something lost my crap he denied it insisted it was his and that my uncle had given it to him uncle came in wondering what the ruckus was about and I was able to tell him the serial number without looking at it I got it back but the bastard had scrunched it up in places Frick you random 40 years later I'm still not forgiving that crap I was 16 and was seeing a girl who I had some doubt about she would make up the most insignificant lies about stupid crap but it wasn't malicious so I let it slide until things escalated her dad had a friend John who had cancer we went to visit him 200 miles away and he looks really bad she acted like she didn't give a crap about two weeks later we were at a party and she started crying about how John had died and she was absolutely devastated so I comforted her about a week after that I went to dinner at her parents and her dad said I just got off of the phone with John and they're saying he's reacting well with the chemo her face dropped and she couldn't look me in the eye but I knew I had her so I finished my dinner and went home I phoned her later and told her not to call me ever again or I'll tell her dad about her lie she didn't call again I still don't know what happened to poor John a bonus lie I remember her telling me about a month before the John incident she told me she was in the school play in the lead role of Romeo and Juliet and she needed to kiss the guy in the finale and was I okay with it we didn't go to the same school so I did and questioned it and said it was okay she made a noticeable job of telling me how consider what she was being in asking my permission I just thought it was another lie after I broke up with her her friend told me my ex had kissed a guy in her English class they were studying Romeo and Juliet at the time apparently I'm glad I got out of there when I did TLDR tech support tells kid he is going to be arrested I was working in tech support at an ice pond the afternoon evening shift it is a smaller ice so tech support all sits in one office about a stone's throw from each other in the evenings there are only about 12 people working until about 7:00 p.m. when it drops to about 7 people we got a call one night from a kid sounded about 12 who was using a deep voice trying to get info on an IP address from us this isn't uncommon for kids who are gaming to call tech support to try and get information so they can DDoS someone they are mad at the first person he got followed protocol and asked if he had a warrant then hung up we can't give out that type of info to anyone without a warrant same thing happened to three other people over the course of about 15 minutes before he changed up his act I got him at that point and he said that he was agent something-or-other from the FBI and he needed info on the IP address have you ever heard a 12 year old try to sound like an adult I played along and asked him if he had the account info he was looking for he panicked at that point and said I should have it in John in customer service should have sent it to me I informed him there isn't a John in customer service they worked in the same office as us so I knew them all he was quiet for a few seconds before he tentatively tried another name and I told him I know that person he got super excited and it was kind of funny listening to him think he was getting through I asked him for the account info because that person had not sent it to me and the kid hung up the next few attempts were the kids pretending to be one of my co-workers and telling people to give him the info granted this was at about 830 p.m. and that specific co-worker had gone home at 7 at that point we were getting annoyed and just hung up on him whenever we heard his voice as 9:00 p.m. rolled around one of my co-workers was very upset that she hadn't gotten him yet she had this whole plan on what she was going to say to him and was super excited a few minutes after 9:00 when we all heard her yell across the office I got the IP guy we all went on break or put calls on hold to come listen to what her plan was the kid was pretending to be our co-worker again which was very funny for us because a person he was talking to sits right next to the person he was imitating she acted like she was going to give him everything he gave her the IP address he wanted info on and she got in to sing like a bird on what he was looking for after about a minute she said thank you sir we just finished tracing your call and I am required to inform you that a member of the FBI will be swinging by shortly to pick you up to answer some questions we could hear the kid flip out for a few seconds over her headset and then he hung up we all lost it that was the funniest thing we had all seen in a while and we didn't hear from him again love the story I wonder what and where that kid's persistence has gotten him in life now this one is comical and other than being a crappy job my old job cleaning retail centers was almost always good for a laugh when it came the crap but work as the company would hire guy who didn't have a license a car and was certainly too lazy to walk the four miles to work I rode my bike nine miles every dang night and yes it was uphill to the store where I was working though I got to coast for the most part on my way home he was driven to work every day by his grandmother who was probably late 60s or early 70s second day of work Lee says he needs a week off because his grandmother the one who drove him to work was sick and in the hospital okay then his grandmother shows up at the work place to buy herself some new slippers that the location had on sale with him in tow he saw me and the look of realization on his face was glorious company was sake and would fire people for lying about why they missed work but for some reason would take weeks to fire someone who was a repeat no call no show I must have be 9 or 10 my friends and I were all going through the same doll phase so we will bring our favorites to each other's house and play as my friend was leaving I noticed a few of my dolls missing she was holding them hostage in her doll limo I just knew it as she was walking outside I casually said oh I think you might have grabbed my doll on accident flustered she checked her limo and pulled out my dolls got you she also stole some of my dolls clothing I searched her room when she went to bath and stole it back stopped playing dolls with her not complet le relevant but I doubt such a specific thread would come up anytime soon I caught someone who was trying to convince me I was lying when I was little my mom was driving me to school we went the more rural of the two possible roads and on our way we saw evolve so we stopped the car and watched it from a distance for a little while I told this to my aunt recently and she didn't believe me because this isn't and never was a vole Ferrier my mom even though she was with me didn't get involved in the argument the argument was at a standstill at that point I claimed it was a voles she claimed it was a jackal which are not in this area either but it's maybe a bit more likely with all the wonders of modern technology she opened her phone googled something and gave the phone to me does that look like what you saw it was a scrawny thing with a pointy nose and red brown fur definite le not well of course you didn't see that because that's a picture of evolve before she could take her phone back I read out loud the title below the picture from a news article it belonged to pack of jackals found in southern Serbia she furiously took her phone from me and was too embarrassed to keep arguing so I won by default I will claim that was a volte I saw on my deathbed what a stupid reason to erode your niece or nephews trust and respect in you although you'd probably had that ruined long before I had strep throat so I called out sick to work I was sick two days my new manager called me Adam said I had a pattern of abusing my sick time and that I would not be paid for my sick time she explicitly mentioned that I always called three days in a row and that I had exceeded the acceptable amount occurrences for the year this was in October I had a sick kid in February for one day she started in June so where was she getting this pattern from I had three days over two occurrences for the entire year both with doctors notes well under the five occurrences each with up to three days sick the HR puts a soft limit at unluckily for her I knew our schedule tracking system and how to get at my punch missed hours and I knew our policy regarding sick time and how abuse was handled so I printed the policy my last four years of attendance along with my coworkers . i sat down with her and she reiterated the accusation of abuse I pulled out my last year with two calls on it she said the patent was from before she started so I pulled out the previous four years in the policy ten occurrences over four years remember that HR calls violation over five occurrences within one year she said that I had more sick calls than anyone else so I pulled theirs out too and I was actually on the lower half of occurrences my sick bank was near capped out how would that be possible if I was a flagrant abuse or other system the back peddling started she said that she never said I wouldn't get paid I pulled out my phone and played the recording for her she thought my number was a landline and said I wasn't allowed to furnish cell phone messages while at work I told her I get paid or I quit oh the hostile work environment which would mean a very easy unemployment case which would actually have to be paid out by my employer in this case which would mean my manager would be cooked I got paid for my sick time and she made the next three years absolutely miserable for me too so unhappy story overall but I still remember that one time but for desktop publishing I was in my 20s an ad designer for a local department store the boss was out and a co-worker who had been there many years and was jaded and grumpy all the time was put in charge for the day I brought an ad to her for approval and she found some nitpicky thing that she wanted adjusted I knew that it was just bulls on her part so she could feel powerful I took the ad back to my desk worked on something else for a while then brought it back absolutely unchanged she looked at it and said oh that looks much better and approved it I never let on that it was the exactly same version she'd rejected earlier here's a good one and in the military British Army my dad bought me a nice shock watch to say good luck when I was in training about halfway through we go on exercise coming back on the coach everyone is always tired and sleeps the whole way back I take my watch off at the beginning of the ride put it in the top of my day sack that I forgot to zip it up obviously it falls out and I forget about it the Corporal does a sweep of the coach and asks if anyone lost one lost and lost one lost and lost and lost and lost and lost and lost and lost and lost and lost and lost and lost we spent the weekend sorting kit out and I realize I can't find my watch I feel crap that I've lost it Sunday night I head to the showers and the showers are literally a big box with about 10 showerheads plenty of lads and there I see the guy who claimed to lose his watch and say crap let my freaking watch he's I watch these watch he said watch these watch these watch these watch these watch these watch these watch these watch these watch these watch these watch he said watch these watch these watch these watch these watch he said watch these watch these watch he said watch these watch these watch these watch these watch these watch these watch these watch he said watch these watch these watch he said watch these watch these watch these watch he said watch he said watch these watch these watch he said watch these watch these watch he said watch these watch he said watch these watch these watch he said watch him I snatched it out of his hand call him a frickin thief and threw his towel in the shower and walked off while everyone got P that they share a room with a guy who steals crab TL DR friend found out GF was cheating on him to start a six plus hour car ride she couldn't escape from not me but a friend of mine was just starting a long road trip to drop his girlfriend off after a trip six plus hours and they stopped at a gas station at the start where she ran in to get some snacks and use the restroom but left her phone there a Pop's a text message from a guy saying something like you back from your trip yet babe she comes back and he had enough time to compose himself to calmly ask her question after question slowly circling closer to the point where she realizes the jig is up and then he gets to go off on her a she tearfully admits to everything over the next several hours I never want to be cheated on but if I ever have been I wouldn't be opposed to them being a captive audience for several hours it doesn't make you feel any better trust me a co-worker was a military retiree who claimed to have beena everywhere someone might say I spent a week in Cambodia he say yeah I was there once stopped over on my way to Thailand we figured he was bullshitting most if not all the time so we started inventing places my cousin is travelling in Argentina and he's at this mountain village called Baretta salsa him oh yeah we did a joint military exercise with Argentina back in the 80s and stopped off there us did you visit the temple on Blueberry Hill him heck yeah everyone in my outfit visited total [ __ ] ah I was sitting with a couple friends and a guy I didn't know too well all playing cards we start swapping stories and the guy I didn't know starts telling the story over time he went to a strip club however he had lifted the story word-for-word from a YouTube video only changing the names rooster teeth animated adventures I started playing the video on my phone halfway through his story and connected it to the TV but that was awkward when I lived with my dad I had a cash bank that I kept hidden I was positive about the sum of money I had saved up I was saving up for the Xbox one Xbox 360 which was coming out and when I counted it it was short like $20 short I also had a webcam on my computer and since my family was not computer literate I sent it up on a time lapse one picture every 10 seconds whenever I left the house sure enough suspected family member went into my room went right for the stash and stole from me I confronted them at dinner in front of everyone they denied it others believed them and then I put the photo I printed out on the table best macaroni and cheese I ever ate an employee in my restaurant clocked out to five hours later than expected one night when I asked him via messenger if there was a good reason that says happened he replied hey man it was very busy last night I believe I made 80% of the day's turnover six hours shift that would be about eight hundred and fifty dollars I immediately look up on my computer to verify if that's true and I find out that he has come a bit late at work and actually made only $200 then the guy who works at the 7-eleven next door told me that my guy was there having coffee for like two hours last night I had to send him a long message with many screenshots about that a girl led me on only to tell me she couldn't date me because of my race well she tried to lead me on again but I made it a point to show as little interest as possible crap like walking past her without acknowledging I'd senior and stonewalling any flirting attempts she then gets the idea to make a friend of mine like her to make me jealous but she picked one of my absolute best friends so immediately he told me what was happening she was always sending him and I the same snaps and nudes and saying she missed us and crap like that I think she assumed that we wouldn't talk to each other about this well one night he and I were hanging out playing Halo and we get a snap from her it's her in the shower with a lot of steam so I send her a picture of him looking disappointed and he sent her a picture of me looking disappointed she didn't talk to us for a few months after that I worked with a guy who was extremely lazy every day in one 8-hour shift there were at least two hour long smoke breaks and a combined hour of being on the [ __ ] additionally he was constantly on his phone when he was at work so one day we were both sanding a long steel rail him on one side and I on the other side while he was in the bathroom I made a small mark above his portion of the rail to be able to tell where he started at lunch time roughly four hours later I had done about 20-30 featuring of rail he done done about five I questioned him about it to which his reply was never bruh I've done at least twenty featuring he was fired a short time later for being unproductive it was bittersweet he was a decent guy just sucked at our job yes sometimes I feel bad if halfway decent people get fired but at the same time it's their own fault for always calling him or being lazy I think I'd opposed to the same job you do but maybe not long steel rails I work with large metal plates endeavor the edges countersink tap the holes if they need to be tapped you have been visited by the romantic dog ow comment love is magic so you never fall in the friendzone like and subscribe you magnificent person [Music]

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 37,547

Rating: 4.5995693 out of 5

Keywords: satisfying, satisfying things, catching a lier, satisfaction, liar liar, liar, liars, bad liar, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: 7TwGFkfyxwU

Length: 45min 48sec (2748 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 04 2020