When Have You Caught Someone Lying To You Red Handed?

what is the most satisfying time you've caught someone in a lie i once had a graphic designer apply for a post using my artwork in his portfolio asked him all about the work and the thinking behind the designs before i showed him the originals in the door when i was in college i had just gotten two new front tires for my car a week later my back tire was punctured by a nail so i went to the local tire shop to have it replaced later that day they gave me a call tire shop the estimate to fix the puncture is x would you like us to repair it me yes please it was a reasonable price asterisk tire shop also i noticed that the treads on your front tires look dangerously low me buy two front tires tire shop yes they are at 230 seconds of an inch low this is legally worn down and they should be replaced i can do it today for x dollars me so you are telling me that my two front tires are dangerously worn down tire shop yes hey my brand new tires that i bought last week tire shop oh me forget fixing the puncture i'll be buying a minute to pick up my car lube tech at a jiffy lube tried to convince me that i needed a radiator service on a car that didn't have a radiator he even showed me a ph strip to prove that the fluid had gone acidic i told him if he could show me the radiator i'd cheerfully pay for the service his face when he opened my car's trunk where most cars keep their hoods was pretty priceless i finished replacing my timing belt really late one night and was too tired to change my oil before the car show the next day i just stopped at a quick lube place to have them do it i already had the oil and filter i'm crouching at the front of my car watching them to make sure they use my filter and my oil and then they start poking around at my engine one of the guys tells me my belts look pretty bad oh yay which belt your timing belt is pretty worn if that breaks it could cause serious engine damage oh wow it's really that bad it's only got like 12 miles on it since i replaced it last night dart my boyfriend used to work third shift at a popular gas station on the east coast he worked with one of those notoriously terrible co-workers that calls in all the time with tons of excuses well one night she called out saying that she was sick that she was vomiting and feverish couldn't come in sorry the only person available to work her shift was the district manager who happened to be in the area for a meeting dm comes in and works cashier with my boyfriend around 3 am who should walk in but the called out co-worker wasted beyond belief she bought two rolls of tums and ate one while waiting in line waiting in line for the dm to ring her up and fire her on the spot tl doctor co-worker fakes being sick only to return to place of employment waste didn't find her boss boss waiting on her damn i went to a chicago bears game back in the early 90s with my childhood best friend and his grandfather who had had season tickets to the bears for a long long time back to like 1972 we get to the seats which are in an awesome location to see four guys sitting in grandpa's seats my friend's grandpa tells them guys you are in our seats can you please move one of the dudes is a huge dick and says the seats are his groups grandpa says they are wrong and they need to move to which one guy replies oh yeah well i don't see your name on them so fck off grandpa points to the seat back on the seat nearest to him which in fact has an engraved nameplate with grandpa's name on it same with all the other seats since he had the same seats for so long he was able to get them engraved it was amazing watching these four idiots stammer and walk away a girl i go to school with did everything she could for attention she walked into class one day with a huge bruise on her cheek claiming that she had been punched in the face at a party fast forward a few days and we're both at a mutual friend's house she still has the bruise and won't stop talking about it and trying to make us feel bad for her upon looking a little closer i see that the bruise is slightly sparkly it's obviously makeup so i tell her that i have something to put on bruises to make them heal faster and she agrees to try it out it was actually makeup remover i put some on a cotton pad and with one swipe the bruise was gone at first she tried to keep the lie going saying whoa that stuff really works and such but then she gave up and stormed out of the house throwing a fit tl dr girl used her bruise to get attention the bruise was actually makeup an ex-girlfriend of mine called to tell me she was pregnant and that she needed money to terminate the pregnancy i did the math quickly in my head and realized that there was no way she could be pregnant by me because we had stopped having relations long before we split so i told her that as the father i had rights too and that i wanted her to have the child and i would take full custody and pay her medical bills she was speechless and then said i'll call you back she called a day or so later saying she had a miscarriage [Music] we used to know this girl who compulsively lied about the littlest things so we always wondered if she was lying about other things mainly we wondered if she was lying about having epilepsy well she faked a fit in front of a group of us once at a party she started pretending to shake fell to the floor and so on she then stopped confirmed that people were looking and paying attention and then continued we told her to stop and that she was obviously faking she left not really a lie but i was that kid who set all the curves in math class in high school i'm chinese and there were other chinese kids who sat behind me in class i don't know why they didn't think i spoke mandarin but i did they would talk sh t on me all the time in mandarin like this stupid kid thinks he's so f king smart blah blah blah i never reacted literally the last week of class i turned around and starting talking to them influent mandarin priceless look on their faces when i was younger one of my snez games went missing and i was pretty sure it was a close friend of mine who'd taken it i loved him dearly so didn't want to upset him and confront him about it so i came up with a cunning plan i told my friend that i thought one of my games had gone missing and that i'd notified the police i also mentioned that i'd recently had my games chipped which the police could track so i was fairly confident that i'd have it back soon he was round my house within two hours to help me look for it he didn't even subtly look for five minutes he went straight under my front room sofa and magically produced the game and said look you silly idiot it's here you'd better let the police know full stop i even pretended to ring the police to report it found still love the guy this girl from my high school lied about having breast cancer to everyone she even got counseling from a teacher who actually did have breast cancer and has since died eventually everyone found out she was lying about the whole thing for attention and i doubt we'll ever see her at a high school reunion every single time i catch my son in a lie so satisfying because i get to watch his head spin while trying to come up with new lies and justifications not fully understanding that my 20 plus year head start has allowed me to anticipate every single thing he's about to say and he should just give up my mom used to brag about how she could always catch me lying because i gave it away by doing x eventually she inadvertently coached me into eliminating all my tells and now she can't tell at all hint tell him you can see when he's lying because his nose turns pink or something maybe even make it something that would be super obvious to other people too so he won't try lying to others whatever you do don't let him catch on to the truth yes i see the hypocrisy in the above i don't care my buddy was dating my roommate they broke up which made it awkward for me well she goes all crazy on him and starts telling him she's pregnant and it is his after he told me this we lived in a two bedroom one bath i started noticing that the stash of tampons my roommate kept under the sink dwindling upon hearing this news from me i've never seen a more relieved person me on phone so emma jones it's okay for my kid to spend the night at your kids house emma jones in simpson squeaky teen voice yes that's right okay great would you mind telling me your address mr jones i don't no i used to be a substitute teacher i had classroom teachers regularly calling me to return so i had gotten to know this particular class and more specifically this particular student on this day there was a milk and cookies thing for kids and their reading mentors sort of as a thank you i had a list of kids who had mentors and were excused to go greet the volunteers and enjoy the cookies let it be known that jay was not on this list at one point in the class jay has my permission to go to the bathroom nowhere near the library okay jay you can go but don't you dare go to the library you know it's just for the mentors he had already attempted to blatantly ask miss can i go get a cookie clothes bracket about 15 minutes later a bit much for a second grader to be in a bathroom by himself he returned i looked at him and asked where he had been bathroom no eye contact i saw crumbs on his shirt and went with my gut really you didn't go to the library nope just the bathroom um what kind of cookie was it chocolate kai dang long story short my ex-girlfriend tried to prove her lie was a truth by creating a fake email account and using it to fabricate a forwarded email to me to prove a person and an event was real i copied the email address a yahoo login and tried to log into it i hit reset password and it prompted me with the question yahoo gives when resetting a password complete the phone number associated with the account i put my ex's cell number in and she got a reset password text message that's when she finally admitted to the lie and in my eyes all the previous suspected lies and this was not about cheating at all it was just stupid bullsh t when i was seven or eight i was all about collecting pokemon cards i had a binder set up with the card protectors pokemon stickers my own personal pokemon drawings the whole shebang my most prized card was my holographic maltese one day i noticed there was a fcking scratch on the card and threw a [ __ ] fit like only an eight-year-old scorned knows how i immediately asked my younger brother if he had been taking out my cards which he vehemently denied i started to think that maybe i had accidentally scratched the card which brought about a mini existential crisis i sht you not i lost sleep thinking i couldn't look after my pokemon cards anyway the next day i'm at the bus stop with my brother and my neighbor when my neighbor starts talking about how cool my brother's holographic maltese is i just stared at my brother and he started crying then i chased him down the street but damn that felt good tl dr don't fck with my moultas i had a long argument once with someone who claimed loudly and angrily that pat morita from the original karate kid movies was a master of martial arts in real life he came up with loads of evidence and even talked about stories of morita single-handedly defeating hordes of attackers then i showed him an article where it talked about morita spending most of his life as a stand-up comic with no martial arts and he shut up tl dr pat morita was not a ninja do you think a true ninja would tell people he is a ninja pat morita was a ninja i met this dude who wanted to join my band and he was a huge pearl jam and rolling stones fan so i had asked him if he was a fan of the band stone sessions a band i made up on the spot he told me he had every one of their albums the look on his face was priceless when i told him i made up the band and that's how he'll go on to be the lead singer of stone sessions well technically he did have all zero of their albums i wonder how many of these are posted by pathological liars you gave me chlamydia i'm not mad but you should get tested i got tested three and a half months into seeing you and came back negative who do you cheat on me with was dating a woman i was fairly certain was cheating on me one night she broke plans with me in a rather unexpected way citing that she was simply too worn out to hang the next day on our way to the mall me so i stopped by your place last night to talk rang the doorbell and knocked for like 10 minutes but you never answered the trap is laid comma huh yeah i know i heard you but i just didn't feel like getting out of bed the mouse examines the cheese comma me you heard me the spring tenses comma huh like you said you were knocking and ringing the bell for like 10 minutes how could i not mouse bites cheese comma me because i was never there clearly neither were you snap my 13 years old daughter ran away from her mother's home and appeared at my doorstep with a bruise on her face she informed me her mother had backhanded her and bounced her face off the refrigerator door handle a year later while in court to gain sole custody of my daughter and representing myself the court justice asked what is this abuse about i told him of how my daughter showed up with bruises on her face my ex stood up and shouted that she would never do such a thing to her child i couldn't as a mother ever strike my child knowing my ex could never pass up an opportunity to correct me i told the justice when my daughter showed up she informed me that her mom had backhanded her and bounced her face off the liqueur cabinet without missing a beat my ex said it wasn't the liqueur cabinet it was the refrigerator sweet justice my girlfriend's friend is a pathological liar she does it because she is socially awkward she claimed to other people that my girlfriend and i were engaged my girlfriend's phone blew up after that you're engaged why didn't you tell amy when we confronted her her excuse was that everyone in her dinner group had some good stories to tell about being engaged she didn't have any so she lied about the engagement we felt bad so we forgave her but we catch her in lies all the time i have never met someone who had so many doctors appointments or had so many car accidents when i was young i had these tiny magnetic figures not sure what they are called so anyways i was at a friend's house and i had just bought a new pair of them when i was about to go home i noticed one was missing i got kinda sad and asked him if he had seen it he said no but i knew he was this liar type of guy so i searched his pockets i found it in his back pocket and he started saying stuff like i didn't know it was there must have been my brother i felt like a detective afterwards tl doctor my friend stole one of my toys i went detective on his ass pun intended not me but a good friend who is autistic and pretty awkward she went to church group with a friend and the leader of the group was picking on her the whole night she's an easy target as she sweet and blundering she leaned over to grab something and her shirt rode up a little bit the leader shouted you i can see your underwear apostrophe my friend shouted back no you can't and you're a liar i'm not wearing underwear patients especially those lying to get to drugs etc and then presenting their lies to them seems their go-to is usually to tell me to fck off and storm out of my department so satisfying edit whoa didn't expect so much response from this i think i should clarify i am an er doctor i usually air on the side of trusting patients and treating pain rarely do i ever not provide pain meds etc but there are always a few people who tend to float around are known to abuse i only get annoyed if i can catch them in a lie i.e they say they haven't seen another doctor or didn't get pain meds and i have so documents from our online system suggesting otherwise ex-husband no i'm not having an affair hey well then why do i have 200 pages worth of items texts and emails with s or content sent between you and her him i uh i was hacked for four and a half years him why yes me how did the hackers get these 37 photos of you nude him and i sht you not colon that's not me spoiler it was definitely him birthmark pasteur fatness and all whoa sorry you had to go through that i know that's something you never really want to believe i had a phone call from a company claiming that my pc had called them and notified them of an error in its essential system files i simply replied how exactly did my pc call you there was an awkward silence for a second or so before they thanked me for my time and hung up the phone i went to high school with a pathological liar named victoria our senior year she thought it would be best to tell our class how she used to have down syndrome as a child but grew out of it the teacher and classes expression silence was all that we needed the next week she apparently had to go to paris for a photo shoot [ __ ] looked like she hit a few too many branches while falling out of the ugly tree all throughout high school i dated this guy that my little sister had a crush on he and i split up during senior year and she couldn't have been happier the breakup hit me really hard and rather than stick around podunk i thought it would do me good to move to the city for the summer before i started university the thing about my move was that i just sort of left i didn't tell anyone just pack my tea and left this was in may when i came home in december for break i ran into my ex the conversation was super awkward more than it should have been and when he asked me why i wasn't showing i understood turns out he had been getting updates from my little sister she had told him that i left town and chosen out of state university so that i could keep my pregnancy from him i was not not had i ever been pregnant after years of putting up with her bullsht lies i called her out at a very public dinner that ex attended she never saw it coming you

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Id: PaX_ICBgCJ0

Length: 22min 13sec (1333 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 27 2020