What's The Best Thing You've Ever Woken Up To? (r/AskReddit)

what is the best and/or worst way you have been woken up worst I awoke wants to feeling a somewhat large fleshy thing plopping on my chest I freaked out and hopped out of bed slapping at it only to feel it flying around and smacking at me from side and back I was thinking it was a bat or something it was moving around really fast after bolting all the way to the kitchen making weird noises that my parents still make fun of me for I soon realize my hand had fallen completely numb and I was repeatedly slapping myself with it all over my body and didn't know it was attached to me never been more scared and confused in my life hand but oh man freshman year of college it may be 5:30 in the morning on Saturday night Sunday morning and my roommate and I were asleep I only know of the events leading up to this because one of my friends who had just come back from some party watched from the hallway as the whole event unfolded the very drunk girlfriend of the guy who lived next door to us comes into our room thinking it's her boyfriend's room and looks around as our friend tries to direct her to the correct room now both my room and the room of the guy who lives next to go said basically the exact same layout and my bed was in the same spot as where her boyfriends bed would be so in her mind she is going to crawl into bed with her boyfriend or me so she jumps onto my bed and says hey John do you want to BJ for the record my name is not John he's the guy who lived next door so I suddenly awakened in my half-asleep state say I'm not John P o W my punishment for not being John is the hardest punch to the groin I have ever experienced and she yells you sucker and runs out of the room crying this was more pain than I had ever felt in my life it felt like I couldn't breathe and that I needed to throw up at the same time I rolled off my bed and lay on the floor trying to gain my composure it is entirely possible that I passed out for a few seconds as I finally stagger to the door and out into the hallway to figure out what the heck was going on I was treated to the sight of John and his run mate with looks of half concern and half holding back laugh John said that he was very sorry and that they would buy me dinner or something to make up for it I just requested that his girlfriend not go for any more nuts in the future and went back to sleep the next day I saw John's girlfriend in the hallway and she offered a very sincere apology saying that she felt horrible I jokingly assured her that it was nothing compared to how bad I felt the previous night and laughed it off but I did start locking my door at night from then on worst I was sleeping in a tent located in the middle of the frozen surface of one of the biggest lakes in Finland about ten kilometres to nearest shore woke up in the night when water started to seep in the tent went out and saw only water in every direction as far as the flashlight could reach go on woke up thought it was too bright head hurt rolled over splash I had fallen asleep on a pool mat in the middle of a pool no idea how I got to the pool or whose house it was by far the most bewildering experience of my life I do not think the word for this is fallen asleep worst I had an ex who was a somnambulist she would frequently walk do activities and talk in her sleep once we were staying in a hotel and I wake up to her suddenly yanking my arm pulling me up right she stares blankly at me for a second then without any emotion in her voice she says it is not destined what it is not destined are you asleep , yes lay back down ok turns out she was right it wasn't destined and sleep walkers are freaking scary not me but I was a witness to my brothers when I was in 4h my brothers and I would show livestock at our County Fair growing up on a farm we brought an assortment of animals each year to the fair to be judged the animals would be judged over a course of a few days so we would end up spending the nights in the stables sleeping on straw bales next to the animals the dairy cows were tethered to a three-foot tall fence that separated them from the bales we slept on I was the first to awake one morning just in time to look over and see one of the cow lift her tail slowly up directly behind my sleeping brother I knew she was getting ready to crap but usually when a cow shoots it tends to drop out in sporadic flops straight to the ground not a big deal I thought even with my brother in close proximity the cow was still far enough away that the Kratt would stay on the other side of the fence wrong this cow let out an exploding brown stream of liquid fesses that shot like a rainbow over the fence directly into my brother's face and chest he jumped like a jackrabbit and completely disoriented twisted his ankle really bad when he tried to stand up he falls back to the ground landing face-first an even more cow crap while he's screaming in pain not a good way to start your day best way first trip by myself took the Greyhound from Ottawa to New York City overnight woke up to seeing the skyline of Nick for the first time ever I cried I'll find a picture worst my dad likes to slam the brakes and scream with his hand over my chest every time I fall asleep in the car which is always trolden strikes again an m60 machine gun ripping through a belt of ammo and someone screaming there in the wire that's been good for nightmares for 41 years best to a bj love waking up with a dong in my mouth Oh captain my captain the sound of my dog ripping something apart you understand the terror I felt if you have a dog I woke up to my dog eating my college degree once it was in a leather case on a top shelf of a bookcase he got it and ate it for breakfast best I live above a harpist everyday it sounds like there's a flying unicorn in my room pooping gumdrops your username makes this even better the best was when I had fallen asleep on the couch and my 18 month-old son woke me up by leaning in close and quietly saying daddy until I opened my eyes as soon as my eyes were open he handed me a stuffed toy zebra said zebra and ran off giggling the worst was when I was in the middle of an eight-hour flight I am afraid of flying but somehow managed to doze off without real it I had a nightmare that the plane was going down I startled myself awake and jumped up kicking the seat in front of me scaring the crap out of the people sitting there luckily it was pre nine stroke eleven or else I'd probably be getting waterboarded right now I read that as 18 year old son and found it extremely creepy worst the night before had hooked up with a single mom and gone back to her place woke up with a 14 year old girl with the exact same hair as her mother standing there just staring at me I had a moment of panic as I visualized spending the rest of my life in prison for spelunking teenager best boobs in my face a few years ago I was on a family-type vacation and we got a hotel room for the night my parents got one bed and my brother aged 16 and I aged 17 shared the second bed about an hour after falling asleep I was awoken by an unseen attacker what a freak I half yelled in my sleepy blow durmand I flicked on my light to find my brother completely asleep crouched over me in bed slapping me to this day he still has no idea what dream Lee was having that led him to this not sleeping last weekend my best friend and I ended up back at my house after some heavy drinking I was woken up around 8:00 a.m. to a hand being slid down my boxers and onto my butt apparently he thought I was his girlfriend all right now tell us about your least favorite wake up best to topless women shaking their boobs in my face worst to topless women shaking their boobs in my face who had no intention of going any further and freaked out when I went to initiate it I'm hoping that these are two separate occasions and you just wake up to women shaking boobs in your face on a regular basis with varying degrees of success worst a few years ago we had a Chihuahua named Charlie who liked to sleep under the covers near our feet sleeping soundly one night I wake up to a struggle and a foul smell Charlie had eaten something that didn't agree with him and in his rush to get out from under the blankets he crawled into the bottom of my loose-fitting t-shirt and gods duck with his head sticking out the top of the shirt next to my head he was vomiting and struggling to get loose my wife wakes to hear me swearing like a sailor with Charlie wearing my shirt with me while we are covered in canine lung butter Charlie and I have our heads sticking out of the shirt like something you would find in a John Carpenter movie our bodies are stuck together as we both made horrible noises as we tried to disengage from each other we eventually got him out of my shirt and outside so I could jump in the shower while my wife strip the bed and put on clean sheets blanket this is amazing I woke up from a leg cramp in my sleep and I jumped up immediately to straighten out my leg to stop the pain and walk to the bathroom to take a leak I guess from standing up so abruptly after lying down for so long I passed out and fell through a glass shower door behind me mid P Lockley the door didn't break but it came off its hinges and I woke up on top of it with pee on my pants lesson learned don't sleep with pants on throw weed through most of this thread and apparently no one has had this one or at least no one wants to talk about it and I don't frickin blame them worst something startled me I the chute open mind instantly awake by a flood of adrenaline something wasn't right but I had no idea what it was my throat it didn't work I couldn't breathe okay why can't I breathe assessors crap fast because without air I don't have long before I pass out and if I pass out since I live alone no one can save me okay can't pull air in something is stuck in my throat it's vomit no time to think about how why I need to clear my airway I try coughing air going out can't get air in jumped out of bed standing up now with my hands on my knees don't let gravity work against you I try so hard to keep my wits go to clear it coughing really hard gasping hard tiny amounts of air coming in but not enough to keep me from passing out soon a consider the self Heimlich chair thing wouldn't help not an object tears are coming down my face as I'm straining so hard to keep from passing and to clear my airway finally I do it slowly but surely the taste of vomit the acid burning my throat and mouth meant nothing because I had cool air in my lungs again and was able to breath easily yet be careful with eating right before you go to sleep also if you have acid reflux or whatever the Frick I've been too scared built am going soon to go see the doctor about do it anyway that's actually happened to me 3-4 times now over the last three years okay so the best time I are the woke up I was getting a [ __ ] that alone made life worth living combine the to wake up to getting vomited on during a [ __ ] due to acid reflux my mother told me that when she gave birth to me she hadn't slept for over two days so she fell asleep in her hospital bed only to be woken up by a nurse who wanted to give her sleeping pills woke up to my girlfriend at the time at the foot of the bed telling me there were advil on the bedside table and asking how I felt after a quick assessment I realized I was extraordinarily hungover she asked what if I remembered anything from the night before I thought about it for a second and came up blank I never black out I mumbled not a thing so you don't remember stumbling in and passing out on the couch number or walking down the hallway knocking pictures off the wall no or going into the closet and peeing all over the Christmas ornaments or nuts , or when I tried to help you out of your clothes and you said no stop it I have a girlfriend worst my mom calling me and waking me up to say that she was bringing my dog over to say goodbye before we took her to be put to sleep best my boyfriend and I waking up to having sex not knowing who started it awesome that is adorable wake up sex does rule but that is a super cute version as opposed to some of the scary versions best wake-up call ever during a trip to Mexico good morning mr. Skelly six this is your wake-up call also the argentinian models in room 803 said to tell you happy birthday and that they are waiting for you in the swim up pool bar I watched the film hostel a few nights ago normally a wake-up call like that would be instant boner time not anymore my best happened recently I had fallen asleep with my earphones in and I woke up in the middle of the night just as one of my favorite songs was beginning I was conscious for the duration of the song and it was all dreamy and euphoric then as soon as it ended I drifted off again I did that sometimes in the music invades my dreams my mother used to wake me up by tossing a huge sponge soaked with ice water on my face she only did it a few times and never with any real reason behind it other than a prank my wife once woke me up by screaming but she had a reason to our three-year-old son fell out of a second-story window amazingly he suffered no serious injuries they wouldn't have believed it with the ax did a cat scan MRI and x-rays to be sure the worst way I ever saw someone being woken up was when I was babysitting some friend of Mines kids the eldest daughter was 8 and her younger sister was 4 the four-year-old fell asleep while we were watching TV when it was bedtime I couldn't get her to wake up I know how sent her sister she then grabbed her younger sister by the shoulders shaking her violently and screamed at the top of her lungs right in her face wake up all want time to go to bed wake the Frick up auu ugh here would be the kind of wakeup that would traumatize a normal person for life and had I known she was going to do that I would have stopped her I was scared and I was wide awake but to the girl's credit a younger sister woke up quietly stretched and went to bed as if nothing bad had happened whatsoever had I not seen it with my own eyes I wouldn't have believed it worst my roommates random crazy guy I got stuck with through a cat on me I was in my own bed in my bedroom it wasn't his cat all he said when I woke up yelling in reaction to the cat claws in my chest was there is a cat neither the cat nor I was pleased with the situation roommate was seemingly oblivious to our displeasure well at least what he was saying was accurate best I started hearing this beautiful intricate music in my sleep and I slowly began gaining consciousness by the time I was fully awake I realized that it was my mum downstairs decorating the Christmas tree while listening to Handel's Messiah choruses and arias worst before I married him my husband had this radio alarm clock in his bedroom at his own house the first time I ever fell asleep there it went off and the volume was cranked up as far as it could go he has a slight hearing problem when it went off I went from a dead sleep to sitting bolt upright in bed gasping almost having a heart attack after that it was always called the heart attack alarm and if I stayed over I would wait until he fell asleep and would turn it down so I could hear it and wake him up myself aaww heart attack clock sucks but it was sweet that you would wake him up yourself best alarm clock ever SWAT team pounding on my door we had to evacuate the building and spend six hours in a McDonald's all because some drugged out idiot broke into a house across the street that was full of firearms when the gentleman broken it set off the alarm and the owner was notified he then told police he owns many firearms the SWAT team eventually busted in and found the idiot on the couch passed out I don't have a best but I do have a worse I woke up just kinda groggy and stuff I opened my eyes and look down there something weird on my pillow but so I moved back and bam half a cockroach right next to where my mouth is somehow I had bitten off and swallowed half of this cockroach in my sleep best after an all-night gaming session I was dog-tired and didn't wake up early enough for my brothers so we could play more games so my brothers burst into my room singing with music in the background blaring get up get on up get up get on up despite being dogs hired I jumped out of bed so fast and started dancing with them James Brown sex machine best way to wake up ever don't know the best but worst just the other night I woke up but was still only half conscious and had sleep paralysis I could hear creaking around in my room the creaking started going up my bunk steps I'm on the top bunk out of nowhere two hands one with a knife pinned me down and I wake up screaming all a dream but it seemed so real more real than any dream I'd had before or my poor run mate worst taking a pee in my laundry i sleepwalk when drunk the same time didn't know where I was in underwear no phone no clothes and miles away from my car but there was a hot girl next to me in her underwear so worst and best when I have to wake up early or just when my dad feels like messing with me my dad barges into my room turns on all the lights takes all my covers off and proceeds to jump on me a couple of times until he's bored that's why I have never tried sleeping naked before that's why you should try sleeping naked best blonde giving me Ahana worst drill instructors boots pacing the passageway at 4:58 worst drill instructors boots pacing the passageway at 4:58 this so much this during the last week of training the guys doing overnight watch would slowly walk by making the click sound with their mouths just to see who would freak out also the lights flicking on you knew you had about five seconds to get out of bed fell asleep on the futon in my living room for those that don't know a futon is a usually quite light framed couch that pulls out into a full size bed I was laying on it pulled out in bed form well my friends took it upon themselves to sneak into my house where they found me asleep they thought it would be funny to flip the futon up with me on it so that I would fly through the air so that's what they did I woke up midair about four feet above the ground and heading toward the wall I can say with confidence that I had my first mild heart attack that day sorry for any grammatical errors I'm on a phone sorry for any grammatical errors I'm on a boat ftfy worst that frickin alarm clock noise from the iPhone that sounds like world war three just started that's my current alarm i'll downvote myself worst my friend threw her giant stuffed panda at me it was still dark and I couldn't figure out what this massive furry creature was that had landed on me terrifying worst the sounds of the cat throwing up and knowing that if I don't get up to clean it I'll step in it later best woke up from a dream where I was at a family reunion and I got to hang out and talk with my great-grandmother who died before I was born we were just standing in the kitchen chatting catching up and every once in a while someone would look in and say oh I see the two of you needs some time I'll leave you be and duck out again I woke up teary-eyed and blissfully happy worst I'd pulled an all-nighter and then gone to class all day so I went to bed at 9 p.m. utterly exhausted the phone woke me up my room was windowless and completely dark I had no idea what time it was I fumbled for the phone a cello hey it's name were you asleep yep what time is it 11 comma which 11 I was so disoriented that I really could not tell whether I'd slept for two hours or fourteen or turned out I'd only been asleep for two hours so I hung up on my friend and went back to bed had a funny dream woke up laughing awesome except if you witness this then it's creepy by my own fart - 14 guys beating the crap out of me I had gone to a LAN party on the 26th of December and there was an optional wrestling practice at 6:00 a.m. I thought you could actually miss it alas that wasn't the case turns out it was mandatory for all varsity wrestlers and I ended up getting back from the LAN party at 6:30 a.m. I had been asleep for maybe an hour and a half when I felt a shooting pain in my head then another in my stomach then my legs then all over turns out the coach was so P I didn't show he made everyone else all the other varsity guys do colours for two hours when I was able to open my eyes all I could see were sweaty rage filled high schoolers unleashing pure fury on my body I suppose I could have tried to defend myself but I was too tired and most of them just left after a few minutes of beating but bruises over 90% of my body it was a bad day ok another 1 2 a.m. while I'm on R&R sleeping cause he all cuddled up to my wife to get a call from a soldier who is bawling in tears something about being in the air emergency surgery and can't get a hold of her chain of command 20 minutes later in the ER with her sometimes I think I'll miss those calls up vote for honor and loyalty shared house for 19 yo males Friday night I go home from the pub early 10:30 p.m. I crash on the couch only to wake up to a donkey standing in the lounge room and staring me in the face Dave decided to walk it home from the schoolyard can we keep him can we can we classic Dave if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now [Music]

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 12,536

Rating: 4.9221411 out of 5

Keywords: worst ways to wake up, worst ways to wake someone up, best ways to wake up, best ways to wake yourself up, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, fresh

Id: zfLcMNy06GA

Length: 23min 48sec (1428 seconds)

Published: Fri May 22 2020