What's It Like Having a Japanese Boyfriend or Girlfriend in Japan? [Confessions]

hey guys welcome to TCT time today we're gonna be talking about relationships in Japan with this team today we've got she ot Christopher me Shizuka at our new guest she's a hosted took a creative play so a lot of you might know her already um but yeah play channel and it's the first time that you get to join me today yeah finally it's good to be here sip some tea spill some tea so yeah we're gonna be popular relationship and since like Valentine's Day season and all that um but I wanted to know did you guys ever come across any like interesting like dating customs in Japan yeah maybe I guess when I think Japan is like goals are given to boys oh that's right someone really like someone you really like you would give them like chocolate yes they call home a couple who made the real chocolate and then we are given that another Beauty took off which is another well that's like your boss is right what if I took whether it's obligatory Chuck let it get more yeah so it's something that you are kind of obliged to give because it's like your coworker your boss that's called giddy chuckle yeah the word of the day maybe homemade taco that those feels something feeling chuckle it's very teenager thing I don't think that that he talked about many people here or people not doing so serious but we still make some sometimes homemade or something explained expensive Go diva chalk or something like that they give it to it someone I really like and say like you so please be my boyfriend boyfriend okay think you have to confess your love to Chapel that's true that's a big thing in Japan that's the event that's true but you can confess your love any time of the year right if you can you Coco how good did you Coco how do before yeah like confessing of your love but you have to a girl in your life I go straight to the person my girlfriend no but um okay let's talk about the difference between money we're gonna come back to this they're gonna hear the big event to have tons could be the time to tell I love you please be my boyfriend nah or girl girlfriend bro oh yeah but let's say it's the girl giving the chocolates so I should be two boys right yeah that's what I think that's the weird cultural part I don't think anyone in Western culture would use that did that really significant day is the first day to express maybe your love or not love but we have like a lamb like please let my Valentine like isn't that the holy night in my primary school and like yeah but I mean I mean older old older I would time on older if it's like an adult it's kind of weird like if first time like we're just friends on hey it's Valentine's Day join us you might go yeah there's a little bit too strong but and out of the blue maybe but do people in like their adult life use that day - that's your same way oh you're talking about true yeah oh sorry I thought you're talking about adults also you're talking about Valentine's Day that's when students maybe confessed their Oh maybe didn't say men I'm sorry yeah okay so yeah once once you've entered adulthood than nobody valentine's day to like show that their likes person yes yes but i think my impression of valentine's day in like north america or I mean english-speaking countries it's more of like a day for couples only people who are already couples to celebrate their love and like you know give each other gifts or chocolates yeah um it's not so much like I like you do you like me too like it's not that kind of like dramatic moment but it kind of could be in Japan mm-hmm like it could be a moment to be like yeah I like you students are waiting for that Thursday I'm going to confess him I like him I need to give him did you do it no you never made chocolate for someone before I when I was dating of course I'll do a fall boyfriend I never chose this date as the date to confess and I'm always in confessed you never confessed your love to someone first have I always I always jump what dumb dumping your personal day aw they don't you're dumped program that's a that's a good very quick 180 she said I have too many guys coming to me but I also have so many dumps people told me so really what you're saying is to make guys lie to you and then they relate then they get a relationship between they're like oh my gosh it's cray-cray but to me I don't really know why this isn't like a I don't think it's a Japan thing specifically but like um I have the same thing I often get I don't want to say dumped but like they run away quickly like I might find someone who likes me and it's like yeah I like you too and then they're like gon realize that I don't know if this is this a Tokyo thing cuz this is primarily been my experience in Tokyo did I color like just targeting me right now it's it's guys like him it's Oh baby I like chase and then they're like oh entire you buy you will have some kind of feeling and hide the feeling until you will confess I'm like you but you guys are more like kinda knowing each other you like him she likes you and then when these they when you see you guys became official got a boyfriend how are you Oh me me me discus boring like that I yeah yeah I I think it's too risky to do like a whole big confession cuz it was like you put so much effort into it I feel it's so risky oh so basically you're hard on the line too minute could be to speak nobody just had right yeah when they said confess is it's more just like you need to I literally just say the word there's gonna say that they just want to hear you say that word you know please be my boyfriend yeah you do my girl I think I've seen too many like anime or it's like a really big builder tonight please I really like you then they start crying it's more it's more no it's more normal like normal situation it's not such a big deal is it so is it similar to just in western society what we just like hey what are we doing doing about I really like you the difference is that it's it's more like the stages of love is different in Japan does like stage 1 stage 2 stage 3 right maybe like you're flirting then you're dating then you're married right but in Western culture it's more like I'm emphasize the marriage sector section where you have a ring on it right the other that stage 1 and stage 2 more like blurred together I mean cuz like for a Japanese Japan right if you're dating a girl you need is you need to tell them I'm dating you only you and you're not getting anybody else it's just it's just exclusive relationship but in a Western culture I you can date five girls at one time and technically be dating but you're not technically like you just kind of you don't have to be exclusionary excessive yeah yeah because because you're not seeing you my girlfriend like we go to dinner and maybe we make out but it's nothing exclusive yet until some until you kind of make it clear hey I really like you you know I'd rather just keep it you know me and you kind of oh that's never happened to Johnny wine oh yeah because sometimes to pen the beginning you date like multiple girls and the girl like oh my god just to playboy you're doing here they're good no like it's no but don't hate me no no it has Christa's things no one all the girls I I would feel kind of weight about it even in Western society but I'm probably a different kind of person like yeah if I if I had met someone and I was really interested in them I would be like all right let's keep let's keep hanging out and stuff mhm and I would probably focus on that one person but if yeah if I wasn't interested my probably cut things off and move on yeah I'm not really yeah I I don't relate yeah dating multiple people casually yeah I'm the same way I'm more like a like a 1 1 person kind of thing so once I feel that I like someone then it's just like it's just that person I'm not gonna be like talking to other people we're like going out with other people it's okay w Lister like maybe exchange the line or contact and just start contacting often mm-hmm and then after that going out for dinner or lunch together on the weekend and then after that or maybe go for the one day date to seal a movie together and then there's those very big thing dating hanging off you think and after that okay I'm through here you guys going to hold hands or something like that in your country no but I'll be out hold hands after the dinner oh really oh yeah endeavour I don't think it's going to be happen first in case not for dinner but I'm more of a calm dude oh it is this first pace that's it you know no home plate yet it sounds like you kind of drive it pretty fast no just just for space I think that's pretty normal it's nice to go to dinner and then maybe hold hands on the way home we'll go for a walk in Havok I have a kid but late have a kid have a kid have a child something simple like a peck on the cheek you know but yeah no I think I think it's pretty normal for I mean some guys especially in Tokyo um you could take a girl out of bar just sleep right there that night it happens all the time well yeah that's dating at all like that's just like no no serious shorted out his hookup no yeah sometimes sometimes relationships start oh sorry go ahead hey yes let's hear that all the main information it come on get comprise wear leather yes okay so then up on a day-trip right mm-hmm then finally up maybe disco is good for being girlfriend them if this person could be my partner then finally pal I like you I wanna date with you seriously I'll be Shelley then after that start making a 30 yeah I don't think normal people won't go to pasta base even they cannot hit anything I think that's very true I think in Tokyo I'm here in Tokyo that's BS I think of course my all friends doing other things when I'm already 28 so 2000 and then they are waiting for these steps and it takes ages right and then if like if you're your number your relationship or the value of things different it's quite your by situation yeah they always of course they always talk more deep stuff mmm-hmm but their physical thing a baby after you journey but I think this is more like a young young Japanese girl kind of concepts yeah that's right yeah yeah yeah all with normal they do well because I think most Japanese girls have this concept of like this Disney fairy tale thing that it just doesn't work you can see that all Japanese people are still living in the parents house yeah and then well because they don't you don't they don't yeah they live in their parents house though they don't mature fast as fast as outside Westerners yeah like it like become more independent and realize that there are all these other responsibilities and duties that come with our relationship when you move out hmm right so they're kind of you have no risk essentially I think all favorite people yeah they don't want to do anything unless you confirm we like each other yeah but they're a bit yeah Part B we go party party party party to try something plus then see how it goes right and people like that and also the people who it's very conservative yeah that's a good point I think yeah it does it is divided between types people some people are really traditional and then they would definitely want that Co Kohaku which is the confession of love or to officially the girlfriend boyfriend before anything happens that was those that was the weirdest thing like like flex beer bath delay its friend there cannot I I was so day with pouring that right I cannot tell when I became official you know and also to Japanese people love community and universe out they anniversary oh wait is that well first official date but people in Western countries do that too like they have a date with that you want to have like a date me and my boyfriend we we never discussed dating and eventually we're like I guess what going out but we're like when is that so we just made it the day that we met each other oh good but um yeah there's a couple of situations where it's like oh wait wait there's a lot of questions like that because there's there's no official like confession yes yeah I agree it's if I feel like it's more confusing in a way when you're dating like non-japanese people like it's it's always like just oh go with the flow confusing though really baby Jesus I'm like alright are we dating are we not are we like oh yeah usually it's good with it just a conversation of being like what's going on nobody even tells right you can tell no I know dramas and movies whenever I say I like you you're like yeah I like you too but then for the leaves they say I love you there's a lot you said no with that ah you're right it's such a big deal right there's a life I've had friends you've gone and like hooked up with Japanese guys and then the next day they'll get a confession and that's like a big like I didn't I don't know why it happened so fast but some I guess some guys just want to confess straight away so they've good enough it had like these text like I love you I love you so much and it's like whoa because what she just said right because the sexual attraction comes and they said I think you kissed the girl or did some more every skip step one two three four any love section here right yeah that's why I see that's me I've said saying I like you I feel like I'm it's like you feel like you're playing around with the differences in Western culture you can have sex with someone yes I said the one girl and not love the girl like that's that's a different culture to turn to though no no what I'm saying is in this stepladder right well my love is here means sex in Japan in this ladder right you can have sex with a girl here you're far from love and that's why when you said oh my god you said love it's because you're still here yo I don't love you yet just because we're happy you're still we're still on step one so maybe a think dramas your talk because a lot of girls are boys did be like they don't they don't like skipping tear so fast so nice when someone says I love you obviously we're not going the same pace in our relationship so it's like you I'm still I'm still just chillin with you and you're like hope here but this gap is where you have the difference I never like that yeah that's true friend also maybe the guy was like very interested in so they he doesn't want hard to be like money I'm playing you like this is happening now like I want to be together but if yeah it's way too quick with the the love way so sudden yeah and that's because I think we'll to answer your question the word love in being like in Western culture I think it holds a lot of meetings oh so like you would love your family this is like forever bond kind of thing so if you say that you love someone it feels like a strong commitment yeah it's not like the more common feeling would probably be lust which is like just ski like it like you feeling but love is deeper I feel like daisuki is being mistranslated to love a lot of the time so in there like I love you they just mean like daisuki you're gonna like I like you a huge amount mm-hmm but it translates to love which is kind of like oh my god maybe I stayed gonna yeah yeah it was nice you think love is deeper meaning in a Western culture than Japanese I think opposite right because love is not thrown around in Japan Japanese at all yeah language why that's true yeah I usually do what did you say it's really really something that's ER you can't really see I student to people very much I don't think that the same if I said that well people in my life I say like once a day well I see to my mom okay I I don't think I have chance to say though yeah it's very rare in Japan to say it's serious like what's the feeling behind it I think I'll die soon I'll die what because I still it's like in your professional life yeah my love yeah how you receive their feelings yeah mm-hmm I I think that I've never seen people my friends couple are talking to each other like I studio I studio oh my I don't think they do I feel like it's got to be the main problem it's got to be a translation issue with daisuki mm yeah I yeah I think that's just gonna be the main problem with love coming out too fast or if maybe a foreigner looks up I love you because they want to say it more casually and I stated comes up and then they say it back it's gonna freak out the Japanese person yeah I think that's one of the big things that's tough with Japanese relationships but I think that you know Japanese people are just people West is just people and that people can work together if you just find the right person I know a lot of people who have Japanese husbands and Japanese partners and they're super happy and they just work through any kind of kinks and any kind of like things that they don't understand you just talk about it it's all good so yeah very true those was expression yeah in Japan I think usually like verbal expressions of love are not very common they don't hold hands really I mean it's two hours all right PDA oh hell no nowadays I see more guys no but compared to Western cool yes yeah it's not very calm people are a lot more private here with their relations I try to make moves in PDA like sometimes it goes like no no I inhabit any of this really I'm totally okay with the PDA actually oh there are definitely some pretty big like dating differences in Japan um but again there's still a lot more we could talk about the unkindest covered confessions we've been a confession video be sure though we should we should I make another video more about the actual dating side yes I'm not that guy damn it yeah sure yes bounce up the guys and the girls are you talking about it I'm just getting killed right yes um but I hope you guys learned a little something about what it's like dating in Japan a little bit like it's it's a very different flow of the relationship that you're in Western countries and NMA is not a good representation it's not it's based on how it is like you will tell the greatest lie a lot I know Jonas you need that thickness I they they will say that to you directly yes we might actually I've said that so yeah we came back to it you Coco heck dude no weirdest things I was like I was about to kiss and I just got into your coke I know right I choose like should I say I like literally just want me to say it just like yeah I hope you guys like you guys like - like seriously and I was like someone shoot me right to commit to their relation well how long did you guys been seeing each other at that point I don't know a week two weeks three weeks I don't know okay okay well they she's been longing eyes oh no but you Co kouhaku I've never actually had a real cook to be honest nobody considered a real Coco I was like laughing inside my brain it was a half-ass weird I feel like I'm doing your high school student I'm disappointed I won you need to do a real Coco someday no no give her something no really no really I got the same Japanese to could show me spoke Japanese that was a weirdest part so I couldn't say in English so I was like I was like how do I say it like ordinal kind of a journey not they could I say you could teach it to you well I think I don't know I don't know what the quick phrase was it phrases right so wait so Emma did you ever have any kind of experience where you got a CO Kohaku or I'm still not sure if it was fully a cuckoo cuckoo but it had the same kind of feeling to it so I went to high school here for about two weeks for like a school trip and those is this guy Akita that I became friends with and I gave him a calendar with Australian animals on it and he loved it so much he got up in front of the whole class and saying head sholden the entire for me Wow and then it was a weird relationship and then I had to leave so I was about to get on the bus and I had someone running up behind me and then I turned around he was day and he was like put it down and he was holding this this Hulk mask like the face of the Hulk he has just like a it was like a proper thing it looked like it was maybe worth like Neeson and it was a proper Hulk Maus and I was like thank you he was like no thank you and then you run away and I never saw him again it's amazing oh my god I don't know I don't know it in throw it away for so many years but eventually it was like why do I happen whatever happened to Akita okay I have to see this how are you doing there hope you're doing well anyway that's all the time we have for this video but I hope you enjoyed our stories about you know dating in Japan oh yeah okay learned a lot about confessions let us know what you guys thought about today's video and let us know what you want to hear in one of our future videos and we might talk about it next time anyway thank you so much for joining us guys don't worry yay see you in the next TC - time [Music]

Channel: Tokyo Creative Talk

Views: 49,536

Rating: 4.9021406 out of 5

Keywords: tokyo, tokyo creative talk, tokyo creative, relationships in japan, confessing in japan, love japan, valentines day japan, tc tea time, tokyo creative tea time, japan, japanese, dating a japanese boy, dating a japanese girl, japanese girlfriend, japanese boyfriend, dating in japan

Id: tHAcuLP3-V8

Length: 26min 45sec (1605 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 14 2019