Whatever. Let's Rank Some Dark Souls Bosses.

Rusty's boss ranking video series by the super Forge is supported in part by sleepless nights an unhealthy surplus of caffeine and a crippling self-sabotaging anxiety that tells me it's time to stop uploading for two months whenever this channel actually starts doing whoa ahh hello everyone how was your week it's time for my obligatory long-winded hyperbolic and totally 100% objective boss ranking list that you are under no condition or realistic circumstance legally allowed to disagree with or else we'll be receiving a summons in the mail from my network and a note from my mom telling you how disappointed she is in you will I be ranking some Dark Souls bosses will I be ranking all of them maybe I'll just start doing some secular bosses halfway through and just see how many people catch on I could just rank them all at the same time and stack all the footage on top of each other so you don't even know what you're looking at maybe I'll just throw the script up on the screen right now so you can pause it and see the list for yourself without needing to watch or maybe I won't do that who knows he'll do you always trust titles and you click on them [ __ ] maybe this video isn't even about Dark Souls maybe I'll just interrupt the flow of this video completely and start ranking yugioh cards or something it's not like you could stop me or anything the videos already made maybe it's another hollow Knight analysis or a [ __ ] headset review or something let's get around to what you clicked this video for and that certainly wasn't to see some random online she be faced hanzo looking casual wingnut from the town of [ __ ] buts wisconsin talking to you about Dark Souls bosses the two demon bosses in the Ring City DLC really know how to put on a show but it sure is a shame that whatever laser beams and comets they decide to ham fist into their performance ends up being upstaged by their more upscaled counterpart that doesn't even have the courtesy to appear in a different DLC I could have ranked this boss higher on this list but I don't know I didn't want to I guess this boss battle is reserved for those of you out there who are so unfathomably sick of what this game has to offer that you wouldn't even dare call yourself a fan anymore you've killed more dragons than anyone else would even care to look up or learn about and it's getting to the point where you actually feel your retinas drying out due to all the intense bored now the only way you can even access the boss is by fading a suicide attempt and taking a 1,000 foot dive into nothingness this shocking act of self violence awakens a sentience in the programming of the game and it begins to think [ __ ] this guy's bored as hell let's give him a free boss battle for his trouble one Clause you to death like a rabid Wolverine and the other stays at a distance and waxes eggie purple sulphur farts and straight lines towards your character because nothing completes an entertaining boss battle like being hunched over and farted on by toothless from How to Train Your Dragon and then he evolved Zinta Charizard and starts breathing lasers at you what a fun battle in fact I'm sort of surprised that he wasn't placed higher on this list but no no no no let's quit the piss takes let's get around to why you really clicked on this video and that certainly wasn't to hear a morbid nauseating description about smokey purple dragon diarrhea being mechanically funneled through your digestive system let's talk about this crab because why the hell not look at this pinchy prick the giant crab known to the poor lost adventurers who have seen one up close as the holy [ __ ] in a paper bag what the flaming [ __ ] is that has earned a widely known reputation as one of the ecosystems most introverted creatures in fact try to do battle with these animals at long range the next time you see one much like the average sophomore level theater major the giant crab suddenly becomes interested in being in just about any location other than where he is currently and much like that students theater professor he plans to make as eccentric and exit as possible by tunneling into the seawater below and sticking his face in the mud in hopes that he will magically be teleported somewhere else the animals name crab is actually ancient Greek terminology for the word mud slurp er no don't look it up I'm uh I'm I'm right if you continue this pattern of behavior a couple times over he eventually gets fed up for some reason with the random [ __ ] poking him with arrows because he needs footage for some lame-ass YouTube video that no one's gonna watch no idea why he would get mad at that just uh just a little capitalism as all that is and decides to just take the party to you instead the other subspecies of crab which we may be taking a look at soon in future videos have extremely long tails and the ability to breathe crystals at you what do you mean those aren't crabs of course they are looking look at their walking patterns that's a Krabbe that is a crab if I've ever seen one what the [ __ ] crystal lizards that's not even a real animal dentist you just made that up no go away but anyways let's finally touch base on what you really clicked on this video for and that definitely wasn't to see some weird-ass unfunny east sports commentator looking [ __ ] feign his knowledge on the mini species of crab that totally exist by the way no no let's finally get around to listing some of these bosses that are actually in the game I'm talking about the glorified crusader is a forest roaming armor-clad giant in yes dennis yes this is dark souls I don't know why it looks different okay maybe we installed the texture pack or something okay just let me get through this man the glorified Crusader truly is as awesome as he looks now having assumed many of you are already familiar with where to find this boss I'm just going to skip ahead a little bit and get right to showing you the full boss reveal in all of its honor and glory however perhaps the most impressive facet of this bosses design in my opinion is just how original and totally not unoriginal he it really that's the best my script writer could come up with well okay I'm I'm still uploading this it's still getting published so whatever from the polished steel black armor to the keenly sharpened axe it's quite remarkable how his armor has managed to hold up after spending so much time in the forest I would leak a lore video or something here so you can find out more about this boss but sadly I searched high and low for any information to no avail no lore videos no wiki pages nothing about this guy really seems to exist it's it's honestly like he's not even in the game or something I don't know it's a week so if any of you would like to take the liberty of writing your own lore for this axe wielding Knight please feel free to let me know what you come up with for this completely 100% original Dark Souls boss but let's just cut through the noise here and actually get to why you even bothered to click on this video and the reason as to why is completely beyond me and at this point probably even you but you're still here so you might as well continue bill a kick-ass perhaps the most dastardly of all super villains is so notorious that you can't even think of his very existence without using like 15 other copypastas to describe him immediately afterwards standard etiquette is demands now t'rul enemy and this repulsive evildoer has a moral compass that's always pointing in one direction and the direction of that compass just so happens to be the words [ __ ] you that he has written on the glass and permanent marker you sour soul you the fact that he doesn't have a health bar shouldn't bother you that much because we both know you aren't getting out of this alive anyways so you might as well take ass word and just stab yourself at this point just just to get it over with just full-on seppuku your ass [Music] but no no no no no enough [ __ ] around with such horrible asinine quality jokes you think you're better than everyone else cuz you don't go to church that's right Run For Your Lives atheists here comes the [ __ ] Pope [Music] but no no no let's get to the real reason that you came let's talk about the abyss watchers perhaps one of the most jaw-dropping boss concepts accompanied by one of the grandest and most remarkable soundtracks I can remember the abyss watchers hold a special place in my heart Dark Souls 3 had not only some of my favorite bosses but also some of my favorite reveals and boss designs I would be beyond disappointed nay I would be absolutely and hopelessly distraught should I ever mess up giving a nod of appreciation to a boss as iconic as the abyss Watchers every time I write something about the abyss Watchers in one of my scripts I have to later on voice that entire paragraph in a single take any less would be a tragic disservice to what this game and this boss means to me personally but I know that's not gonna happen I've double triple quadruple checked in my scripts and narration and I have the utmost faith in my editor to play appropriate footage pertinent to the book Dennis this is hollow Knight what though but the number one boss of all time and space should come as no surprise to any Dark Souls veteran for a franchise that's been synonymous doll too frequently with a butt rupturing difficulty paired with an unforgiving Lea little and possibly even no learning curve this boss was intelligently packaged by from soft not only as a boss perfectly representative of the soul series but it doubles as an integral and shockingly relevant statement on the Jeopardy of the games industry that we all know and love today this is not a fight against any powerful adversary that has you performing a sequence of moves and spells and tight lockstep with the attacks of the enemy no this is an intrinsic emotional battle that all of us pro gamers fight within ourselves every waking moment it's more emotionally moving than any boss reveal any god card summon or any copy-paste style relic of a meme you can only find nowadays on reddit this is the one true optional boss of Dark Souls an object as inanimate and as passive as this splintered pine chair here offers no reward or bragging rights upon its defeat but should you find in you the audacity to continue moving forward and choose mercy over murder you might just discover something about your own personality as well ahead lies a crossroads for you a crossroad as climactic as it is emotionally metamorphosing do what you wish to this poor wizened and beaten down piece of old furniture but know this traveller just because i'm not informed of your own decision does not mean your deeds that will slip completely by the community's radar now practices as disgusting as the defilement of another's furniture have equally disgusting consequences and be it tomorrow or a year later that justice will be delivered unto you in the most critical by this point I think I've had more than enough videos talking about how tongue-in-cheek my style of content is and for the most part I think I've done a pretty good job making that evident in you know more ways than one but I don't know I just felt like cutting through the noise here as much as I could and just remind people exactly where I came from and why they'd used to watch my stuff and what better way to reflect that than to gather up all my senseless word vomit stitch them into irrelevant paragraphs with an elementary reading level and humiliatingly spotlight them right on here for all to see it seems like the less seriously I take my uploads the more enamored people actually seem to be with what I make so at the end of the day [ __ ] Contin editing has always proven to be a really cathartic release for me and I don't know I don't really see myself backpedaling on that anytime soon and if that results in a few people getting mad because of an ill prepared opinion that I had then I don't know I guess that's just gonna happen every now and then I'm rusty and thanks for thanks for watching I guess get out of here leave I'm done

Channel: Rusty.

Views: 160,455

Keywords: superforge dark souls, superforge bloodborne, dark souls 10 worst spells, dark souls 10 best weapons, dark souls 10 early game secrets, bloodborne 15 insights, dark souls pvp build, dark souls pvp weapons, dark souls soundtrack, dark souls 3 all bosses, dark souls 3 all endings, dark souls 3 most powerful weapon, dark souls best build, dark souls 3 speedrun, dark souls 3 all spells, dark souls 3 all sorceries, bloodborne all bosses, dark souls asmr, dark souls bosses ranked

Id: OJ0xwGjr-DA

Length: 12min 8sec (728 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 28 2019