Doctors, What Is the Most "How the Frick Did That Happen to You" Case You've Seen?

serious doctors of reddit who were your dumbest patients i am in a doc i once had a 20 year old and his girlfriend come in at 2 a.m freaking out baku or something had tore his throat open he seemed fine no blood breathing fine i had him open his mouth saw nothing so didn't want him to lose confidence in me clearly something had happened so i'm looking and looking there is nothing wrong with this kid's throat finally i say look it seems okay what do you feel or see i don't feel it but look it's right there where looking looking it was his uvula somehow this kid had gotten to the age of 20 without ever noticing his uvula girlfriend was also horrified i told them it was normal did not believe me so i told them i was about to blow their minds and showed him his girlfriend's uvula minds blown another life saved in the air i want you to know i laughed hardest of this one had an old coot best possible description of the man who was sweet but had clearly spent his adult years drinking away whatever brain cells he started with he presented with a chief complaint of i can't drink beer anymore every time i drink one i just throw it back up a few minutes later well turns out cooter hadn't been able to eat actual food in months was subsisting on pretty much just beer and hadn't crap in over two weeks but that didn't bother him a bit until he couldn't have the beer then it was an emergency he had a big old tumor blocking the distal part of his left colon so near the end of the road intestinally speaking and everything gradually got backed up all the way to his stomach that's why he couldn't keep a beard down there was just no more room at the end i fixed him with a colostomy and he got better and left he refused chemo and i figured he'd just go home and die of cancer but then almost exactly one year later he came back to me with just about the same complaint obstructed to the point of not being able to drink beer except this time it was that his ostomy had essentially retracted into his abdomen and the skin had nearly grown shut over it he was crapping out of a teeny tiny hole in his skin wtf even my oldest partners had never seen anything like it but once again kuta wasn't remotely phased he just wanted us to fix it so he could go home and keep drinking i did haven't seen kuta since i kind of hope he's still out there treating his cancer with butch visor and just blissfully ignoring the grim reaper had a marine ones who came to me complaining of a rash to his right forearm see two weeks this was his first visit for the issue and hadn't had anything like this before and was worried since he reported worsening symptoms since initial onset when asking about prior skin issues he told me he had ringworm just prior to this rash look at his arm it looked like a mild second degree chemical burn in a rather circular shape with blisters on the edges what got me was the exact definition and the burn edge asking the young lcpl how he got that he replied well that's the burn i got from the bleach i poured on my arm when i asking him why he poured bleach on his arm well how else was i going to kill the ringworm i uh i did that once junior high wrestling thought it would clear up overnight obviously was not cleared to wrestle learned my lesson i did dilute the bleach though even at 12 years old i wasn't stupid enough to pour undiluted bleach on my chest i was an intern in the air i have seen a lot of stupid people it was a small town and all the worst i think was when i walked in and the floor smelled like i don't even know it was by far the worst thing i had ever smelled i asked a passing nurse what the smell was and he just shrugged his shoulders and told me someone probably crap everywhere well the doctor is preparing to go into this room but i did not expect what would happen next he opened the door and i almost barfed it was extremely hard to keep my professional composure the guy had his leg wrapped up the doctor asked him to unwrap it and it was gangrene from his foot up to the middle of his thigh the smell i had been smelling was rotting flesh the cause the four-wheeler i was riding caught fire six months ago we had a patient once on a pca a kind of pain medicine pump with a button that the patient pushes to dispense more medicine she thought she had to physically lick the button in order to get the medicine it was weird someone confused click and lick i think i had a patient in her 30s complain of monthly rectal bleeding that would last for six days and stop on its own it started when she was 11. she just thought she should get checked out it did stop for a while when she was pregnant there was one who was very upset to find out that she was pregnant again because she'd used her diaphragm exactly as she'd been told she carefully inspected it for holes applied the spermicide placed it wore it at night then took it out cleaned it and put it away each morning and then her husband arrived home from his night shift there are several close calls the patient who fixed an appointment for a pedicure the day after open heart surgery he said that he'd just sneak out of the aiku and that nobody would notice the patient who had an amputation of half of his foot and decided that it would be a good idea to walk to the toilet after returning to his room covering the floor in bloody footsteps because the suture ripped open again the patient who said that he didn't have any previous operations but was basically covered in scars when asked about each of them he suddenly remembered having about 15 surgeries for various accidents the patient who forgot that he had his kidney spleen and part of the colon removed because of a tumor the patient who decided that he'd never take more than three pills a day because obviously taking more than three pills a day is going to kill you he was on four or five different meds at that time and basically just shows at random which meds he was going to take which day good thing i don't take pills for my condition i do however randomly choose how many units of insulin to take gp here the most outrageous thing i've heard was from a boy who was something like 20 22 years old a very poor illiterate family the boy had a bad case of tonsillitis and refused to take any meds because all he needed to do was bite the sun basically at noon he had to look up to the sun open his mouth as wide as possible and bite the sun several times so it would burn his tonsils and cure him over the course of a couple weeks when that wouldn't work plan b was to do the same at night but only under a full moon tl dr bite the sun and cure you tonsillitis i worked at here during my internship and met a girl who had increasingly painful and red eyes since a couple of days back the last 24 h had been horrible i asked about all the normal stuff and she claimed to have no idea why she had this eye problem she had never had anything wrong with her eyes i proceed to drop some dye in her eyes to check them in a microscope and when i do i realize she's wearing contacts she didn't like her natural eye color so she had bought a set of blue colored lenses eight months earlier never removed them not even during night time didn't even think to mention this to me claimed to have no foreign materials in her eyes needless to say i gave her quite the harsh lecture and a referral to an ophthalmologist we had a patient come and for theater when asked if she followed the fasting instructions she said yes but luckily the nurse didn't believe her with some prodding the patient eventually confessed to having six chocolate bars and an orange juice for breakfast obviously the surgery was delayed girl came to the afor nausea vomiting tried to give her some zofran no thanks i'm not really a medicine type person my body rejects chemicals had a patient who was convinced that drinking grape juice with baking soda was helping him fight prostate cancer but your cancer is actually getting worse him i'm gonna stick with my plan i really feel like it's helping yes it is kind of like steve jobs you can all stop replying that now because we all get it they put a dong ring on for a week solid turned up with a dong like a aubergine color and swelling no way it could be salvaged given a full panic to me as bad as it sounds now has a hole between his legs at least that's the one that sticks in my mind this is how they castrate sheep and such a band around the base of the scrotum they just fall off surgical resident here one that comes to mind while i was on the cardiothoracic service was a gentleman that came in through the trauma bay with a stab wound to the chest he reported after we fixed the rather large hole in his right ventricle that he was just visiting a friend and while on the stoop of the building a random stanger stabbed him with a sword from a first floor window he proceeds to laugh get back in his car with his buddies and drive home despite the rather profuse bleeding from his chest he drives home for some period of time and then eventually decides he should go to the hospital drives by himself to the hospital last thing he remembers was being on the way to the hospital lucky bastard was found in the parking lot had passed out in his car eventually made it to the ore and walked away just fine tldr jackass gets stabbed in the heart decides to go home and hang out for a while eventually somehow drives himself to hospital before dying and without killing someone else on the road i'm guessing he panics and thought there is no way that just happened well okay but it's not that bad nope it can't be not a stab wound from a sword that's a death for past people when i was doing rounds in the ear for my medic i encountered this woman she was in her early 40s and was apparently a frequent flyer for pain meds since she had become known in the community this was a small city in west michigan she was no longer able to trick doctors into giving her meds so what does she do she pulls out her own teeth she had tried to do a couple but they wouldn't come all the way out she did eventually get one out bit this was after a few attempts this isn't the stupid part however she felt that this may not do the trick so she waited for a few days knowing she would get an infection and we would have no choice but to give her what she wanted well it didn't work they gave her nsa ids and antibiotics it's sad that somebody can get that hooked on pain pills there was the guy whose elderly mother suffered a massive brain hemorrhage and i had to tell him there was nothing surgically we could do for her he tearfully told me that he would do anything for his mama and she could have his brain to save her life dude wanted us to do a brain transplant i had to tell him that no unfortunately that would not be possible that's terrifyingly stupid but also touching and sweet in a forest gump kind of way i have the grandma the mum and the teen in the room the teen is pregnant but this apparently is a good thing there are no father's grandfather's boyfriend's jobs in the picture but everyone decided it was about time a new generation was added to the family lineage apparently the teen did not appreciate the fatigue full bladder back pain etc that go along with being pregnant and is also experiencing some cramping pains she demands that we do a c-section because she's tired of being pregnant even though she's still not far enough along because then we can just hook up the premium in an incubator to finish growing and the government can just pay for the incredibly expensive iq stay my jaw just dropped then there was the lady wearing short shorts and no underwear who raised her leg and showed me the push-filled wound on her labia while in the middle of the waiting room i don't miss rural ob gyn experiences the number of women who think that preemies are just smaller cuter term infants is just depressing lots and lots of women out there wanting to induce labor at 35 or 36 weeks dentist here i had a patient a few years ago who could not understand how she had gum disease on her upper teeth she though gravity would pull all the bacteria down on her lower teeth leaving her top teeth pluck free [Music] turns out using cement as a diy cast for your broken did not reset leg is a bad idea turns out the chemicals in the cement irritate and dissolve your skin he became septic and almost died by the time he presented for medical care emergency medicine preventing natural selection one stupid person at a time when i was a teenager i for some reason thought it would be a good idea to mix up a small amount of concrete in a bucket with my hand because you know finding a stick or something is so hard it turns out that gravel is abrasive and cement is very caustic this is not something i did the second time i had a patient who came to the emergency department vomiting so much i had to admit him for intravenous fluids i took the usual history including what he'd eaten recently nothing out of the ordinary a few hours later he calls me over doctor i did eat some chicken and rice earlier my girlfriend made it yesterday and we left it in the pan on top of the stove overnight and i ate it this afternoon this was in a july heat wave do you think that could have been it yes yes i do sighs we had a little talk about food hygiene had to comment here my husband doesn't get why i don't eat food from his grandparents they keep food cold by sticking it in the back room leaves bags open chicken soup and other foods are left out all day night to be eaten by whoever i've seen chicken out for two days in the summer nope nope nope during a fellowship in oncology i had a nurse call me downstairs to discuss a patient he was on a phase one clinical trial and we needed to check trough values to see what his dose limit would be we started out at 10 milligrams in the form of 2.5 milligrams x4 tablets so his dose could be modified without redispensing well he could not comprehend the amount of pills he needed to take just did not understand that he needed to take only four every day and he had a month supply we had to physically withhold his medication and have him come to the infusion center every day to take his medication because he would have otherwise overdosed and died how hard is it to understand you take four tablets a day patient in a delirious state attempted to pull his foley catheter the kinds that swell up at the end to stay inside the body out of his body forcefully needless to say he was pee blood for a while from all the damage to his internals forgot to point out he was in a delirious state from not taking his blood sugar medication that's what makes it dumb i went into a room once just to talk about diet and i had a guy who was losing his crap yanking yelling he is going to pull his fully out i've never booked it to a nurse faster we had a woman that went through three hospitalizations for diabetic ketoacidosis in six weeks her glucose was up to 1100 her explanation is that she didn't like her endocrinologist so she refused to go back optometrist here had a guy coming for a glasses exam for the first time in 10 years and i discovered he had full-blown glaucoma going on and i asked him if i could run a test to help confirm he got super angry with me and demanded his prescription i said i'll give that to you but i need to prescribe you medicine to help save your sight his response was well if the good lord wants me to lose my sight then who am i to stop him i made him sign a waiver and he left i've never been so frustrated at a patient i hope he doesn't kill someone on the road one day i work as a scribe in the air and we had a guy come in asking to be tested because he may have an std so we start asking him if he has had fricked unprotected and multiple partners to which he answers yes next we ask if he has any itching rash discharge etc to which he answers no well this guy thought he caught asthma from freaking with some chick who had it asthma he thought it was an std i had a girl come to the ear for ladybit spotting and abdominal cramping she had just started her first physical relationship and had taken plan b every day for five days because she was worried about getting pregnant they used condoms and she was already on the birth control had a 70 year old female coming with a broken rib and clavicle after falling tells me her only medications are insulin and tums while taking her history she seems off she's acting confused her voice is deep her face is swollen and she's had been having balance problems textbook hypothyroidism turns out she had her thyroid removed a year ago when i asked her if she was taking any medications for that she tells me yes the tums i need the calcium for my thyroid where she came up with the idea that tumps were a great substitute for your thyroid i will never know needless to say she left with a new synthroid rx she probably confused thyroid with parathyroid as a med student myself and another student took a history from a guy who drank several 10 plus cups of tea a day with six sugars in each one for my thirst and had six meals a day of four bacon sandwiches with butter for the energy that's all he had every day that's it he couldn't understand why his heart disease wasn't getting better why he'd put on weight why he was now showing high blood sugar and was borderline diabetic seriously guys anyone saying but bacon isn't bad food or whatever i never said it was read what i posted especially the bit where i said that's all he had every day that's it because if you can't process that with the rest of what i've said i think you're in danger of becoming a patient mentioned in threads like this i too cannot understand why he is borderline diabetic our leg necrotic with maggots has been this way for 30 days wrapped t-shirts around the leg and when the outer layer was soaked with pus they threw another one on top he finally called 9-1-1 for shortness of breath he died from septic shock my breath smells like treachominus pt gets told she required urgent surgery after a shorty home birth give her instructions including nothing to eat walk in to bring her to the orangey scarfing down burger king tries to hide it after she sees me pt is informed to begin taking eliquis immediately anticoagulant they just got a cardiac stent placed and told the risks of delaying taking that medication the pharmacy was out of it for the weekend she comes in three days later with the same chest pain as before i thought you fix me is my doctor stupid am i had a girl in the ear who got beer poured over her while at a party she went to the bathroom to clean herself but didn't find anything to wash herself with like a sponge or something so she used the next best thing she found and meticulously scrubbed her boobs with steel wool comma steel wool and our skincare addiction gets worried about facial scrubs anesthesia here self-inflicted gun shot to head brain dead organ procurement candidate family insist on giving him a brain transplant they didn't comprehend that they could donate his organ they truly thought that we could give him a new brain with science and crap while in nursing school i had a patient who had wounds on his leg and refused wound care because hospitals are clean and you can't get an infection in a hospital he refused even after having me and then my instructor explained to him about hospital acquired infections and the need for wound care not a doctor but as an army medic i have had some dumb patients one of the first guys i treated got really bad road rash from a motorcycle crash and decided to treat it himself by pouring whiskey on it by the time he came to the medics it was pretty bad and i had to do debritement with a scrub brush basically scrubbing the bad parts off with plastic bristles he was in a lot of pain and i was trying not to laugh at him a lot of people don't respect medics at all even when we are very good at our jobs one guy came in with fluid filled bumps on a red base around his mouth textbook herbs i asked him if it was his first herpes outbreak and he started yelling at me for saying he had herpes he refused to listen to anything else i said and asked for the pa who took one look at him and asked if it was his first herpes outbreak we once had a guy who had the tip of his finger amputated his first question was will this grow back one guy had a sore back and while i was doing the physical exam he said doc my spine is curved it wasn't that's why my nose is crooked medics all have lots of fun stories took care of a patient who we i diagnosed with non-hodgkin's lymphoma this sweet woman was in her late 20s for those that don't know nhl responds pretty well to chemo her father-in-law had a business selling camel's milk she opted for a camel's milk treatment plan over chemotherapy she was convinced that camel's milk can't treat anything she said she came to the hospital just to find out what it was that she was going to treat with the camel's milk smh she had a two and a four year old fortunately i could convince her to only try camel's milk for a finite amount of time and then follow up with our oncologist to see if camel's milk did the trick one more i'm telling on behalf of a colleague who doesn't read it in the wee hours of the morning he got called to see a trauma consult it was a guy who reportedly wandered into the ear stating he'd just come from a bus stop across the street from the hospital he had just woken up there and realized that he was missing his wallet as well as all of his clothing from the waist down what you ask would prompt an indecently clothed man to march barefoot across a busy downtown road in a big city by the dawn's early light to seek assistance in the air shane be damned his butthole really really hurt my friend did an appropriate workup and discovered a large chunk of broken off concrete lodge in this gentleman's rectum it required an operation to retrieve it however before they whisked him off to the ore the patient confessed the rest of the story he'd hooked up with two strange men off of craigslist and they'd gone out in one guy's awesome sports car used copious amounts of illicits and ito and done well at that point he wasn't too sure just what they'd done all he remembered was waking up at the bus station with no pants and a rock up his butt and then while my friend was still in the air with the guy getting consent for the operation the patient's very worried wife walked in for anyone else who wasn't familiar ito equals the medical term for ethyl alcohol drinking alcohol maybe not the dumbest patient i've ever treated but certainly a memorable one while working a night shift in the ed i grabbed a chart for a pnb our shorthand for pregnant and bleeding i walked into the room and came across a young woman who was laying on the stretcher with her legs open in a pool of blood and tissue she was about 20 weeks pregnant and had been bleeding for almost three days before she decided that it was time to go to the hospital when i asked why she didn't come in sooner she replied that she thought it was just her period since she had heard that you can still be pregnant even if you get your period for medical clarity yes having a menstrual cycle shortly after unprotected freaking does not mean you are in the clear and definitely not pregnant horizontal ellipsis once you have a confirmed bun in the oven it don't work that way after having to explain to the poor darf girl that she was indeed pregnant i then had to spend the next 10 minutes pulling from her t canal the remaining products of conception from her miscarriage if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

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Keywords: doctors, doctor stories, medical, weird doctor stories, weird doctor, nurses, emergency, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: zhxAxXw-kak

Length: 25min 19sec (1519 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 22 2020