What Is Your Best Instant Karma Story? (r/AskReddit)

read it what is your best Instant Karma story when I was a kid about 9:00 or so my dad and I were at the airport food court eating while waiting on our flight my eyes were bigger than my stomach and I didn't touch my fries rather than throw them away I asked some lady if she wanted them free of course when we get to the main lobby for our flight lo and behold who do we see yup that same lady she was in the main kiosk as a flights agent and she let us know she gave us a comp upgrade to business class that was the first time I had ever flown business class in the nineties I bought a newspaper everyday from a newspaper box you stick 35 cents into coin slot to unlock one day I took two papers as I walked away with both papers my sure tail got stuck in the door of the newspaper box had to pay 35 cents to get my shirt back out I was at a crosswalk in Brooklyn looking left then right then left again a guy in a suit pauses a yelling cell phone conversation to snicker at me saying it's a one-way bro no sooner had he set foot in the intersection that he has a mild collision with a bicyclist going the wrong way neither was hurt enough to slow down and as the cyclists rode off the two competed to see who could say watch where you're going the loudest it was a tie I witnessed a road rage incident where a man got out of his car at a red light went to the door of the driver of a minivan and yelled at the window for a minute when the lights turned green he went to get back in his car but his door was locked this is beautifully simple and I can just imagine the look on the man's face confusion then realization then rage followed by shame glorious when I was in high school there was always a bit of a bottleneck to get out of the student parking lot at the end of the day basically you had to let people pull out of the aisles as you came down the side so you could leave I let a car go from the last aisle and then this guy I knew the weirdest doughies kid in the school tried to give himself the worst prank least nicknames on multiple occasions darted out in front of me and then he and [ __ ] in his car started pointing and laughing at me while he was looking back at me he rear-ended the car in front of him got to work and immediately got asked to deal with a difficult customer who had rang the store from a parking bay in our carpark lady says she has the wrong frozen drink and once our fund and her replacement literally a $1 I take out the $1 and try to find out what drink she wants she goes off because she also wanted her a fund for the fries because the event has made her sick to her stomach because of bad customer service I say that I didn't know she wanted a full refund as it wasn't mentioned on the phone literally as I walked into the office she keeps going on about how she is now going to be late for the four minutes she spent in park and rants for five more minutes about service before I tell her that I'm going to get her a fund to try and make sure she still gets to her event she throws the bag of fries at me hitting me in the chest and I grab it and walk off to get her a fund keeps yelling until I get back with the $2 and sixty cents turns out the man behind her watched the whole thing and because she was in a company car he reported her to the company Tupperware she was fired that afternoon the lady then tried to get me fired saying I caused it and to get compensation our customer service team laughed at her and eventually my owner had to call her when he called her she started swearing at him and he told her if you're going to swear at me I'm going to tell Tupperware again and hung up only time I think the abused staff member has actually had a big win in my job in middle school I had to share a bus stop with this girl who lived down the street from me she was a little turd who would treat her friends great and nearly everybody else like crap but she never would me all that much sometimes we even talked while waiting for the bus like she had this streak of normality she only lets show occasionally well one day we were walking back home from the bus stop and talking about our day when she suddenly asked me to stop walking I hesitated for a moment but stopped anyway she was on the opposite side of the street from me and I thought she wanted to cross so we weren't yelling back and forth we lived on a dirt road and it was spring meaning you had to constantly avoid massive puddles collecting in the potholes I only had a few seconds to reel that she had just asked me to stop because there was a car coming down the street about to splash me with the rancid mud that had collected in the fairly large puddle right next to me I only had a second to throw up my arms and prepare for the worst I got one look at her smug face and big stupid grin right before the driver veered to the right and absolutely soaked her in mud and whatever god-awful mess was in the puddle next to her the sad part is I never got a glimpse at the driver I was too focused on laughing my butt off as she swore and stomped up a driveway to the back door we didn't talk much after that I think she was too embarrassed but that driver is a goddamn hero I got a virus on my pc keystroke logger I assume and some dumb butthole bought my eBay and PayPal login and password and went shopping I call him a dumb butthole as he didn't bother taking five minutes to lock me out the accounts he just went shopping for TVs cameras iPads you name it I changed my passwords and locked him out then wiped my PC on my phone I got all the purchase receipt emails as he made each purchase including his name and delivery address I was in the passing lane on the highway slowly coming up on a couple of cars in the right lane the speed limit was about to decrease ahead and the another car came up behind me going pretty fast instead of gassing it to get ahead of the traffic to my right I slowed down and pulled in behind them with the car behind me right on my butt once I got into the right lane the car floored it and passed me honking the horn and the passenger's body was half out of the car window yelling at me and flipping me off as they passed turns out the car I pulled and behind was an unmarked state trooper who promptly pulled them over a justice as a teacher I get to experience Instant Karma daily one a sticks out in particular I had a student when I was teaching at a middle school who was loud obnoxious and willing to do anything for attention we had just finished an exam which required stapled papers in order to be turned in and he kept hitting the stapler against his hand with it open all I said was hey if you keep hitting that stapler against your hand with it open it probably won't end well for you he responded with I do this all the time I've never been stabbed click student lets out the loudest scream I've ever heard bleeding crying I'm laughing on the inside hopefully and sent him out to the office I was commuting into Atlanta for a work matter dude then a nice car was cutting lanes and going like 90 miles per hour two cars in front of me he cuts off a Dodge Charger and it flicks on it's undercover lights it made my day since Atlanta traffic was terrible and everyone living in GA knew that but it was doubter bags like this that would take your commute time from an hour to two hours because they were careless and crashed trying to get home to my parents for Christmas in a blizzard and a guy started tailgating me on the highway flashing his lights the works this goes on for a mile or so until I slowed to a crawl enough for him to get the hint to go around he speeds off and about a half mile down the road I see him facing the other way on the side of the road similar story was driving in a blizzard and a tandem semi-truck UPS in facts comes zooming up behind me so I get into the far right lane I'm going about 25 this dude had to be going twice that shortly after passing me the truck starts swerving both trailers going in opposite directions he ended up in the median luckily no one was injured by his foolish driving I was coming home from school with a friend early in the journey I slipped on ice but managed to keep my balance and didn't fall my friend laughed out loud like a maniac a few moments later he fell face down into the ice this reminds me of a similar one I had was skating with a couple friends at night and hit a crack in the path that stopped my board and I stumbled forward off of the board my friend laughed his butt off not long afterwards his wheel hits a crack which stops the board but his dumb boss doesn't react in time and just face-plants and scratches up his chin a guy and some of his friends were crossing the street when the light said not that this was on the day of the st. Patrick's Day Parade in Chicago so there was a lot of people downtown and everyone was drunk and crossing the street when they shouldn't be when the car they were walking in front of honked at them the guy got mad and started yelling at the driver and the driver and him get into an argument of sorts where they trade some vulgar hand signs at the end the guy flips off the driver and then spits on his window a few seconds later we hear sirens and see lights flashing the cops stop right in front of the guy and his friends and arrest him a woman was 70 cents short on her purchase so I'll let it go when counting her change I noticed a 1960 silver dime a guy stole my bike from Iraq a couple of weeks ago when people approached him he took off on foot and got hit by a car making it much easier for the police to find and arrest him the poor woman that hit him was distraught and convinced she killed him but he ended up with just some scrapes and bruises had just passed my driving test in UK and got a car new the road had speed cameras also was being very careful and this van behind me was tailing me he was obviously annoyed at me observing the speed limit overtook him got flashed by the speed camera just ahead ha I have a friend with muscular dystrophy we and some other friends had gone to mitsuo a [ __ ] in Japanese grocery store when we came out a sports car was parked on the goddang lines between the two handicapped spots meaning my friend couldn't even get in his van because that space is where his ramp needs to come out we went into the store kinda thinking maybe they could just make an announcement but customer service said to call the cops so we waited for a while and finally the young lady who done this dong move came out of the store and went to get in her car we told her we'd called the cops and she kinda laughed no we really called the cops luckily the traffic cop pulled up right that moment she made the girl move and we were able to go on our way and watch her receive I can only hope a fairly hefty ticket as we weren't where I live it's a two hundred and fifty dollar fine for parking in a handicapped space without a / I'd like to think that we got a $500 fine for impede into spaces my dad stopped paying my college tuition without telling me I would have understood if he told me which resulted in me going to school to register for classes and being told I couldn't but I had already signed the semester lease on a condo and ended having to leave campus shortly after and go back home to work full-time until I got off on my own Christmas my dad had me a five dollar lottery ticket in my stocking and I won $30,000 playing tug of war with the girlfriends dog win the Rope throw it across the room except my aim is crap and I take out a framed picture of her and said dog grabbed my glass of wine to take a drink dog saunters back over with the rope puts his snout under my arm to get attention flips his head back thus throwing my wine holding hand into the air full glass of wine showers all over me TL DR dog upsets about broken picture whines I was on safari in Kenya with my slightly psychotic family it was the morning of departure and we had to get from the safari lodge to the airstrip and then fly back to Nairobi the plan was to have one Safari Jeep full of our luggage which would go straight to the airstrip the other Safari Jeep would take my family on one last excursion to see some animals before heading to the airstrip I enter the Safari Jeep last and I take the only available seat at the very back not a very good seat to spot animals from suddenly my sister starts freaking the Frick out and screaming at me for taking that seat WTF I had already had enough of her drama from all the previous days so I just got out of the Jeep and went to sit in the other Jeep which was going straight to the airstrip we started driving and I was prepared to have to wait for my family at the airstrip in the blistering heat while they were out looking for animals but then about 10 minutes into the drive I suddenly spot a herd of no less than 15 elephants I asked the guide if we can get any closer he literally drove right into the middle of the herd I was surrounded by elephants of all ages we were so close it was truly an amazing sight the guide used his walkie-talkie to inform the other guide that he should bring the rest of my family here we stayed there for a good 10 minutes as we watched the herd slowly walk from the field into the bushes by the time my family arrived at the scene it was too late all the elephants had migrated into the bushes and were nowhere to be seen and guess whose favorite animal is the elephant my sisters this happened just two days ago and I deserve it sir my dad was working on a cabinet so he was wearing reading glasses and a headlamp to be able to see the small parts as precisely as he could I laughed and gave him a hard time about the combination before he went down to the basement it was at this moment that the storm outside knocked the power out for about 4 hours and I was struggling to get my bearings because of how dark it had become it was around 9 p.m. my dad on the other hand was down in the basement with his head lamp on and laughed at me when he got upstairs especially when I had to ask for his help finding the flashlight in my room I was sitting as a guest to dinner at a wedding reception people were tapping their glasses to get the bride and groom to kiss one guy at my table got really obnoxious with it and started banging on the glass bar centerpiece loud and hard he kept doing it over and over every couple of minutes bong bong bong bong bong until finally it went bong bong bong ploop the vars didn't shatter instead he put a hole in it a spoon sized piece of glass broke away in de vars which was a good 20 inches tall and filled with water began to empty as water poured out the hole like a spigot directly into his wife's lap I felt bad for her but oh man that was gratifying back in college I was crossing the street when this butthole on a motorcycle decided pedestrians shouldn't be allowed to cross in the crosswalk blew the red light and nearly ran me down I stood there a second annoyed but thought nothing I can do about it when another motorcycle came past me this time it was a police officer he looked at me grinned broadly and gave me a thumbs up and then pulled over the other guy and gave him a ticket imagine the joy that cop felt when he just should watch this in sixth grade we had a substitute who might have been insane she would show up and start yelling about the most random things most people were too afraid to talk when she was in class one day she was subbing another class and stopped me on my way to the office she told me how terrible my class was and how bad of a person and student I am I was the quiet straight-a kid I kept walking and she followed she stared at me while talking and walked into a large metal pole I just kept walking when she fell to the ground my so sent me that video of the girl who was trying to make a curling iron tutorial for YouTube and accidentally burned her hair off so made fun of her pretty relentlessly she was in the UK at the time visiting her grandmother had a cheap plug adapter which apparently didn't account for the voltage difference and burned her own hair off with her curling I'm the next day I was driving home with some friends in this Jack out in the lane next to us kept making shady maneuvers I would stop at a red light the light would turn green he would floor it and start weaving in and out of traffic cutting people off squeezing into openings he had no business squeezing into and almost causing accidents then the next light would turn red he'd slam on the brakes and we'd end up waiting at the light next to him again it must have happened at like five lights in a row finally he finds an opening punches it and just speeds off into the distance probably going double the speed limit about a mile down the road we see a cop on the side of the road with his lights on and somebody pulled over but we are all like oh please let it be this frickin butt hole sure enough we drive by see that it's him and everybody just starts laughing it was so satisfying I've always been confused as to why people feel the need to get to the red light before everyone else if anything you're just wasting gas Plus now I get to pull up in the lane next to you really slowly I was on the beach with my family my young brother fell on the water and got a face full of sand I was laughing my butt off when a huge wave came behind me hit me hard and I got a mouthful of salt water my dad laughed his butt off coulomb butthole at work was spending all day freaking around on his new phone this was when iPhones when you and showing it off before dropping it onto the grill grilled apples aren't too bad you could make a pie you have been visited by the wisdom Papa type study well popper all you will fail your next test at school if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 189,284

Rating: 4.8795609 out of 5

Keywords: #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, instant karka, karma stories, reddit karma explained, reddit karma stories, reddit karma

Id: tkNV2jDowoA

Length: 18min 8sec (1088 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 15 2019