What’s the weirdest birthday present you’ve ever received? r/AskReddit | Reddit Jar

ah / ah screw it what's the weirdest birthday present you've ever received a tampon holder for my purse from my step grandma soz parents got just like 15 sex related items for her birthday cuffs paddles whips leather straps two vibrators Lube etc we had to just sit there and open each item thank them and then move on to the next item hoping it would be like a shirt or something no [ __ ] massager okay my mom once got me miss shapen underwear it was sold at dollar stores and was like a reject pile well on leg holders very big and one was very tiny she got me like five pairs of it also once someone gave me a half-burned candle when I turned 18 about 20 of my friends threw a surprise party in my basement and as a gift one of my friends gave me one of those many boxes of Cocoa Krispies and everyone at the party signed the box before I got there his explanation was I wasn't even told we were throwing you a surprise party until like an hour and a half ago so I panicked and looked around my house for a good last-minute gift then I saw that box sitting on the kitchen counter and it was just meant to be I still have that box sitting on my dresser to this day beard oil and comb from my stepmom I can't grow a beard and it was a completely unironic present wrapping paper wrapped in wrapping paper grandmother gave me a Bible and a massive jar of pickles one year to snack on I while I became a good religious boy I suppose an anatomically correct life-sized female mannequin from a women's clothing store that had closed for a mannequin she had a beautiful face and of course a shapely figure it was given to me by a group of college friends when I turned 21 and the gift included boxes of lingerie and various articles of clothing to dress her up in a variety of creative their word ways my friend gifted me a block of butter that's it and it was not a joke but it's not like I'm complaining a dried Cod and a large hammer exactly twelve years ago on my 30th birthday I had a housewarming party it is common in my culture to give single women weird gifts when they turn 30 my father has his own boat and his boat club takes part in the annual cod fishing festival in Lofoten they make some excellent dried fish and he knows I really like it the fish is prepared by beating it with a hammer until the flesh separates from the bone it smells very fishy his friends reacted with you can't give a single thirty years old woman dry fish you are right he said I'll also give her this hammer so she can beat it I pretended to not get their joke and enjoyed the fish Edit woke up to a fool in box it was indeed my 42nd birthday yesterday thank you my friend gave me the ugliest cat statue to have ever existed because she didn't want it the last time my aunt saw me was back when I was 4 years old she sent me a small kid sized Spiderman t-shirt when I was 13 a used pumice stone rewrapped in cling film the sellotape was yellowing so must have been like that for some time grandmother gave me a random statue of a cocker spaniel for my 15th birthday I think I have never owned a cocker spaniel and neither had she looks like something she picked up at a yard sale I didn't care for it at the time but after she passed it is one of my precious treasures I got bacon soap never use it a big Barney purple bathrobe for my 23rd birthday my grandma who lives on the opposite coast of me in the u.s. wrote me a letter for my birthday when I turned 16 in it she listed several points don't shame the family now that you're driving the weather is nice in Pennsylvania I pray to God every day that you don't go to hell since you've stopped going to church at that point I knew one thing my grandma really appreciated a nice spring day and no there was no money in the card I was one of those kids that would just want to play with cardboard boxes all the time to make cities or stores or whatever I'd cut out of cardboard so for my 5th birthday my parents just got me the biggest cardboard box they could find I was ecstatic I got a toaster that toasts pas grosses face onto the bread eight months late from a great aunt I hadn't ever met or heard from before I turned 23 for the birthday that gift was for for my eighth birthday my mother's friend arrived up and gave me a pair of dark green corduroy trousers but for a woman of approximately her age and size needless to say she left with the same pair which must have been her plan all along : a bell just a bell I got a tape dispenser a stapler and a three-hole punch for my sweet 16 a duct taped up cereal box filled with erasers a photo album with a silver effect in basta with the word baby and a pram I have no kids and no intention of having them McDonald's deluxe breakfast but it was my first day ever at 19 I was raised JW and didn't know what to say when they asked me what I wanted I wanted junk food because I wasn't allowed to have it growing up at all and I just didn't care I wanted to celebrate my day an ashtray shaped like a toilet bowl from an uncle when I was a teenager who doesn't and never has smoked one time I received three blankets from my cool uncle on my eighth birthday I smiled and said thank you but deep down I said to myself what the hell is he thinking it blankets it turns out that the blankets he gave me have saved me from hypothermia during a winter Blizzard thanks uncle my milk got my husband and I put ketchup on my ketchup chef Turner XXXL my husband hates ketchup and wears a medium my husband said that's funny because I hate ketchup is more Marg used with him on and off the rest of the day about him loving ketchup a small whittled statue of me my cousin considers herself an artist and recently took up wood carving she presented it to me at my birthday party we were holding in my backyard folks gathered around because usually she makes paintings of our beautiful Vermont countryside that the Box obviously didn't hold her painting I opened it and held up the small wooden statue of me you made the hands too big cracked my wife I keep it in my camp on the lake creeps the hell out of me a flower as in the medieval weapon my brother made it mailed it to me the mailman accidentally delivered it to the rectory where the priest lived I was living in a convent at the time it had a good-natured but profane note included the priest thought it was some kind of threat and called the cops fun birthday mace soap-on-a-rope and a rock not for my birthday but at my bachelorette party I received black soap in the shape of a very large penis and testicles a couple of months later we had apparently run out of soap I got home from work and peeked in at my showering husband to tell him I was home he's washing with the penis soap it was cheap soap and didn't lather very well so he's rubbing it up and down really hard that was in 1983 and I still burst into spontaneous laughter when I think about it I expect it to be my last memory before my brain blinks out and dies edit thank you for the gold I once got a piece of clear plastic and the shape of a man and about the size of a beer bottle it had an astronaut suit outline etched onto it and then another piece of clear plastic attached to the head with a suction cup on it my best guess was it was meant to be attached to a car window and swing but he didn't rotate swing or bobble still baffles me to this day a pack of 10 not matching socks pairs I still wear them edit thank you for so much love no I'm not Dobby ha ha the story is that my older sister was leaving for Christmas and gave me her gifts and gifts from Santa because he won't be able to give them to me during Christmas I'm sorry for you a collage I get a pack that contains a deodorant shower gel and shampoo from my aunt and uncle literally every single year at first I thought they keep giving me this because it's cheap but after the third consecutive year I started to question my hygiene the crazy aches general friend of my bro got me and my cat a dirty really dirty cat bed I thanked her politely put it somewhere my cat wouldn't be able to reach it and threw it away when she was gone three friends gave me identical rectangular presents and smiled while handing them over turned out to be three dolls with the skirt pulled down filled with condoms 13-year old opening them in front of the family lame conspiracy edit this all amounted to some shiny gold guess it's makes it alright then Cheers whoever you are for my bar mitzvah my uncle gave me a pack of condoms for my 17th birthday I was given a copy of Dragon Tales the PBS KIDS show aimed at 5-7 year olds on VHS in 2006 for my sixth birthday my aunt sent me a gold heart-shaped box lined with blue velvet my name was engraved on the lid it was beautiful inside was a dead Japanese beetle there was a note on top that said I saw this and it reminded me of you we don't talk to aunt donger anymore I got a dirt devil box one of those little handheld vacuum cleaners I was like okay that's a weird gift for nine-year-old then I opened the box and it was a hatchet I liked camping wasn't really a birthday present but for my sweet 16 I was in a psychiatric inpatient unit and I got birthday presents from the staff at work and lug you still are the best birthday present I've ever received I got a galaxy backpack skull candy headphones colored pencils and a sketchbook I was also away from my mom who is very toxic and draining to be around a block of government cheese from my sister and her husband I was 11 it went bad before I could finish it and I never shot again happy cake day I got an open bag of gumballs from my uncle and Aunty once strangest part was that someone had shooed a few of the gumballs rolled the chewed gum into a ball and placed him back in the bag same uncle and Aunty that gave me a wrapped box of used toothbrushes a couple years back edit thanks for the gold and Silver's random internet people when I was 10 I said I wanted a brick as a present to my granddad and told him I wanted it because I could throw it through the TV at our home and get a new one fast-forward to my birthday and there is this very very nicely packed present with the brick inside and when I look up at my granddad he is almost dying at laughter man I miss him a few years ago my parents bought me a little toy robot it didn't do anything it was more of a model than a toy I didn't say anything since I didn't know how to react I just politely thanked them for it and promptly forgot about it the next year I got another robot this time I was even more confused later on I took it apart thinking maybe they kid a real present inside the robot but nope I just now had a broken robot toy the third year in a row I got another [ __ ] robot I had to stop being polite and asked what's the deal with the robots please stop getting them for me I was in my 30s when this happened I didn't live with them I had a job and lived with my fiance there was no way they thought I was a child who might like a present like this when I was six I flushed the dukes of hazzard toy car down the toilet and cost my parents hundreds of dollars to fix the plumbing when I was 16 I received the same car back as my first car we'll get buried but finally something I can answer I am or at least used to be very much into old Japanese culture think 1400 1600 I find their system of government from that time fascinating queue my aunt gifting me a dreamcatcher with the phrase it's Indian which is more or less the same as Japanese anyway I was 13 and my parents got me a ceiling fan I didn't need one I didn't ask for one they just had a habit of wanting ting upgrade parts of the house so they would use my birthday as an excuse to get things for the house I joke with them still about how I'm going to come back and take the fan since it's technically mine they also bought me a surround sound system for the downstairs the next year which I wasn't allowed to take that either when I moved out not me but my best friend his grandma was very much the fire and brimstone Harry Potter is for devil worshippers archetype during our senior year of high school she got him this book about surviving college as a Christian my friend was not religious at all but she just couldn't see it the book itself was pretty terrible a lot of very closed-minded stuff about how other religions are wrong and you shouldn't associate with non-christians or have non-christian friends how professors will try to convince you that other religions are okay how gay people will try to convert you and how you should only listen to religious music that won't cloud your judgment my friend said he threw it in a box and never saw it again a dolphin massager gave my sister a fart in a jar just a plain glass mason jar with do not open contains far too written and sharpie on the side actually filled it to the relatives still talk about how awesome that gift was in my friend group I'm the one who gives weird gifts one year I have my friend a bag of styrofoam dope decoys I found at Walmart that may be the weirdest but not my favorite one year I gave that same friend a DVD of the fifth element at least he thought it was the fifth element I replaced the disc with a DVD of my own I made a fake label for the disk and then I scratched up the case a little to make it look used in case he was wondering why it wasn't sealed what was on the DVD the first five minutes of the Fifth Element and then a video of Tom Jones singing what's new pussycat about two weeks went by before he watched it but when he did it was glorious to be fair he started the weird gifts when he gave me a bar mitzvah card for my 20th birthday when I turned 15 my aunt told me that she had a really special present for me being 15 is a very important age in Hispanic culture for a girl I wasn't expecting huge gifts from anyone but when she told me this I got excited I thought she bought me a video game console or something like that so she brings me into her room and proceeds to give me a speech about womanhood this goes on for about 30 minutes she then reaches behind her back pulls out the Book of Mormon and hands it to me confused I thank her and tell her that I'm familiar with it but I don't understand why I need it she then jumps into an hour-long lecture about why I should be a Mormon just to end the conversation I told her that I can see the appeal and I'll think about it it took me a while to realize that my birthday gift was intended to convert me into a Mormon TL DR my aunt gave me the Book of Mormon and tried to convert me for my birthday my mom and grandma both gave me the front copies of mw2 and one was the red edition and one was just bass game and I had a really awkward time explaining to them why the red case had more to it and I felt really bad after I had to go with my grandma to the store to return it a fake pair made of silicon or something with the van Gogh birthday card inside which he wrote on and always be here to listen to use my best friend and that's the weirdest but coolest gift I'd gotten for my 21st my grandmother got me an electric frying pan so you could plug this in instead of having to put it on the gas to issues I lived with her and we had normal frying pans in the pan with a European plug and we lived in the UK an old college friend of my father sent me a birthday card on my 18th birthday my father had not talked to this man in well over a decade and I had personally never met him the card was suitably inappropriate to give an old friends 18 years old daughter I wish I remember the uncomfortable message that was written inside thanks for the birthday card creepy guy my dad knew went on a family vacation one summer and we were gone over my birthday when we got back there was a huge full-size traffic construction cone sitting in my room with a bow taped to the top turns out my friends stole it down the street from my house didn't know what to do with it and then managed to scale our house to my second-floor window that was unlocked and stashed it in my room I named him Mr Conan kept him for nearly 15 years before finally getting rid of him for me it was a music pillow it was a pillow with a small speaker box which worked via walks in it so you could play music while sleeping I guess I never understood why anyone would want to play music while they were trying to fall asleep and especially not when the speaker is so close to your ears the sound was really scuffed and the speaker inside the pillow was super hard so not the most comfortable pillow as well for my ninth birthday my older brother who was 10 got me pads I was so confused at what they were because of how young I was plus I'm a guy Lal I guess he was confused this was a Christmas gift but my fresh-off-the-boat cousins gave me a tea from Hollister that reduced Prefer Blondes I am a very gay Asian woman I pen that kinda looks like a sex toy I've never been a huge fan of other people buying me clothes they are guessing not only my size badly but also my style also badly I received a blow zip up holiday sweater with polar bears and light-up snowflakes as a serious gift not a joke a serious gift was out for my 21st birthday and my friend brought his friend who weren't associated with our group and he gave me a picture of him and his dog shark teeth on my 13th birthday my friend presented me a string he said now you can play with your cat I didn't have a cat a co-worker got me a whole miniature pineapple didn't say anything about why he chose it just sort of dropped at my desk and left I don't even like pineapple I got a cat he also doubled as the best birthday present I've ever received a check for $13.30 I love the movie Finding Nemo when I was like 7-8 and my uncle as a joke got me some fish bait as a present shark bait hahaha happy cake day it was a puppy cute as a button a shih tzu puppy like 2 months old but I was 18 I could barely take care of myself what was I supposed to do with the puppy we kept it in the family my brother my mother took care of it mostly it changed a lot of apartments and families though loving ones all of them I was eight or nine years old I had an art sister to my grandmother who didn't have children she once gave me a set of 4 silver spoons intricately detailed ornate things that probably came from her military husband's time in Europe during World War 2 she sent them with a note saying I could use them to eat ice cream in my tree house I mean that was very nice of her but edit maybe they were valuable I don't know I didn't care about them and their long lost to time don't think my mom made special effort to hang onto them partly because she thought the aunt was nuts anyway deflated football hate football and can't play because of I have titanium plate in my head a container of potty potty I was 17 Christmas decorations from my aunt I was 7 an anthology of classic fairy tales and children's stories when I was 11 and a novelty tie with piano notes down it and you can press down on the tie to play notes some kid who was the son of my mom's friend came to my 12th birthday party without an invite he gave me his geography report on Greece from school as a present thanks Barret not birthday but a Christmas present Mike gave me a package of four crayons when I was 14 she gave my other cousins who were much younger clothes and makeup but 14 year old me got crayons my grandma was pretty terrible at giving gifts one year she got my cousins and me a box of printer paper age another year she got just return address stickers thousands of them my address and phone number was wrong but at least she got my name right from my birthday as a teenager I invited a couple of girls to my birthday party I'm a guy so this was a big deal and one of them forgets to buy me a present so as a gift I guess she takes my hands and places them on her boobs I had no idea that she was actually into me because the rest of the night she tried to sit on my lap etc my grandma liked to find the most maimed disturbing dolls and stuffed animals at thrift stores and then write a tragic story about their life and give it to me I think the worst was a doll missing one leg she had been run over by a car and had to have it amputated and now I needed to be her nurse it was freaky I think I was eight my mom was furious we're distant coolest gift I ever got was her an engraved chest with filled 10950 pennies my dad and stepmom have given it to me on my 30th birthday and it had one penny for every day I had been on this earth that number is approximate because they even took leap years into consideration being that my dad is not the sentimental type it is my most treasured gift and heavy as [ __ ] a friend in middle school once gifted me a birthday card with a facebook login written inside he had made me an account with all my info and pictures because my mom wouldn't let me make my own account a whiteboard never in my life have I expressed a desire for a stick-on whiteboard a year-long subscription to creation as a magazine from my Christian aunt who was concerned because I was going to university to study paleontology she never gets me birthday presents every year for Christmas and my birthday my aunt gives me the same levy Church but in a different color because about five years ago I mentioned that I liked the style a board game with half the pieces missing then the guy asked me for it back after a couple of days if you want to get nothing in return you can like and join my discord there is a link in the description

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Id: P6qhHjZOsX8

Length: 24min 44sec (1484 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 18 2019