AND AS USUAL
I DON’T EVEN KNOW HIS NAME. I’M TRYING TO GET DRESSED
QUICKLY AND GET OUT OF THERE BEFORE HE WAKES UP, BUT I CAN’T FIND MY UNDERWEAR. I LOOK EVERYWHERE,
BUT I JUST CAN’T FIND THEM, AND THEN IT HITS ME. I HAD LEFT THEM AT ANOTHER GUY’S
APARTMENT EARLIER THAT NIGHT, AND THAT’S WHEN I KNEW
I HAD A PROBLEM. - THANKS FOR SHARING, SCOTTY. WELL, I NOTICE A LOT
OF NEW FACES THIS EVENING, AND I’M SO GLAD YOU ALL CAME, AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT
THIS IS A SAFE PLACE TO SHARE. SO IF YOU WANT TO TELL US
YOUR STORY, THERE’LL BE NO JUDGMENT. - SURE, I’LL GO. HI, Y’ALL. NAME’S WENDELL, AND I AM IN FACT
A SEXUAL ADDICT. all: HI, WENDELL. - AND WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE,
WENDELL? - WELL, YOU KNOW, MY LIFE, SEXUALLY SPEAKING, IS CRAZY, AND I JUST WANT TO FIND ONE SINGLE SOLITARY PERSON TO SPEND THE REST
OF MY LIFE WITH. JUST ONE, JUST ONE. - SO DO YOU FEEL LIKE
YOUR ADDICTION IS TOO MUCH TO HANDLE RIGHT NOW? - DUH. I MEAN, IT’S BEEN CRAZY, Y’ALL. WITH ME, THE NASTIER
THE BETTER. I’M A DIRTY DOG. TRY EVERYTHING, ALL THE FIXINGS. TANTRIC, MUCH LIKE STING. ALL THE BELLS AND WHISTLES. YOU NAME IT, I’VE DONST IT. - AND WHEN WOULD YOU SAY
YOU HIT ROCK BOTTOM, WENDELL? - WHEN IT GOT SLIPPERY
OUTSIDE MY SHOWER, ON THE FLOOR
OUTSIDE MY SHOWER. OH. I HIT ROCK BOTTOM SEXUALLY-- OH, IT WAS PROBABLY LAST NIGHT,
LAST NIGHT. - DO YOU THINK THAT YOU COULD
TELL US WHAT HAPPENED, WENDELL? - YEAH, LET’S SEE. IT WAS JUST LIKE
ANY OTHER NIGHT. I HAD ORDERED A LARGE PIE, PEPPERONI,
PINEAPPLE, CHEESY CRUST, SOME CHEESY BREAD ON THE SIDE. CUT TO 30 "MIN" LATER, PIZZA PARLOR SENT OVER A
DELICIOUS LADY DELIVERY PERSON. BODY TEN, FACE TEN. THAT’S MY WEAKNESS. SO I INVITED HER INSIDE,
OPENED UP THE BOX. IT WAS HOT. DEVOURED THE FIRST SLICE
LICKETY-SPLIT, CRUST FIRST. SECOND SLICE
DIDN’T STAND A CHANCE. ATE THE TIP OF THAT BITCH FIRST, WASHED IT DOWN WITH A POP. THEN I GOT NASTY
WITH THE CHEESY BREAD. MY HEART STARTED POUNDING HARDER
THAN USUAL, KER-SLUNK, KER-SLUNK. MOVED ON TO THE THIRD SLICE--
- WHAT-- WHAT--WHAT ABOUT THE GIRL? - WHAT GIRL?
OH, THE GIRL. YEAH, SHE WAS THERE TOO. I INVITED HER INTO MY BOUDOIR,
AKA "THE STABBIN’ CABIN." WE DISROBED ONE ANOTHER. I TOUCHED HER ON HER GENITALIA. SHE TOUCHED ME ON MY MAN-ITALIA,
AND THAT’S WHEN I HIT IT. SEXUALLY, OF COURSE, UPSTAIRS, DOWNSTAIRS,
ALL AROUND THE TOWN STAIRS, AS YOU DO, AND BY THEN
IT WAS JUST ANOTHER NIGHT, AND I MEAN OIL EVERYWHERE,
AND... SAUCE ALL OVER ME. - S-SAUCE? - OH, YEAH,
THAT’S MY WORD FOR... EJACULATE. ANYHOO, I’M SO DISTRAUGHT
BECAUSE I FEEL VULNERABLE, AND I DON’T KNOW. I JUST FEEL LIKE ANYONE COULD TAKE ADVANTAGE
OF ME RIGHT NOW, A-NY-ONE. ’KAY, LET’S SEE WHAT THE BLONDES
HAVE TO SAY FIRST. - WELL, THANK YOU, WENDELL. THANK YOU FOR SHARING.
IT’S ACTUALLY OUR TIME TODAY.
