Key & Peele Presents: The Best of Wendell

hi y'all names Wendell and I am in fact a sexual addict hello thanks for calling Mario's pizza this is Carla speaking we would like a large pie with pepperoni pineapple and cheesy crust large pepperoni with pineapple and cheesy crust we would also like a large pie with bacon pineapple and cheesy crust large bacon pineapple with cheesy crust okay is that gonna complete your order sir you know what let me gauge the room up guys we don't want another pizza who's hungry show of hands let me see him one two three keep him up four five six yep pretty big one too come on guys keep them up Hugo summer hands food you know what let's play it safe it's good another pie oh you guys gonna need cheesy crust on the third good question I'll gauge the room hey guys do we want cheesy crust on the third okay yeesh that is a resounding yes for cheesy crust on the third Claire says you read her mind I like that name it's a good one Oh also I'm a boy Andy over here is saying you have something called chicken poppers is she dude Claire Oh her body's like a four anyway we would also huh let's just say she's kind of a big girl oh that's all superficial man I like Claire for what's inside don't even know Claire I feel like I do know Claire man put me on the phone with her you don't need to speak to Claire no I do you know what I got a level with you man aye sir oh sorry III didn't mean to get in between you guys no quite all right twas a while ago before she blimped up my current girlfriends Liv Body ten face tan but in a way Claire yeah I hit that sexually and as did my boy Hugo hell even Bubba got some of that so just wanted you to know used Goods used goods so you wouldn't care if I asked her out well let me do it for you hey Claire this guy from the pizza place wants to date you too poor all right I'll let him down easy we know tell her the no I'm not a rich man but I'm a good man tell her Claire I believe in destiny and I believe that we've always known that our soul mate was out there the moment that we had that unspoken connection about the cheesy crust I realized that you were always the one because and I know this sounds corny but that moment was just like simple Wow you really do care about [Music] I do I wake up next to the sky and as usual I don't even know his name I'm trying to get dressed quickly and get out of there before he wakes up but I can't find my underwear I look everywhere but I just can't find them and then it hits me I had left them at another guy's apartment earlier that night and that's when I knew I had a problem thanks for sharing [Applause] well I notice a lot of new faces this evening and I'm so glad you all came and I want you to know that this is a safe place to share so if you want to tell us your story there'll be no judgment sure I'll go hi y'all names Wendell and I am in fact the sex you will add it I won't let no and what brings you here window well you know my life sexually speaking is crazy and I just want to find one single solitary person to spend the rest of my life with just one this one so to feel like your addiction is too much to handle right now duh I mean it's been crazy y'all with me the nastier the better I'm a dirty dog try everything all the fixings tantrik much like sting all the bells and whistles you name it I've done stit and when would you say you hit rock bottom Wendell when it got slippery outside my shower on the floor outside my shower oh I hit rock bottom sexually do you think that you could tell us what happened what yeah let's see uh it's just like any other night I had ordered a large pie pepperoni pineapple cheesy crust she's a red on the side uh cut to 30 min later pizza parlor sent over a delicious lady delivery person Body ten face ten that's my weakness so I invited her inside opened up the box it was hot devoured the first slice lickety-split crust first second sliced didn't stand a chance hate the tip of that first washed it down with a pop then I got nasty with the cheesy bread my heart started pounding harder than usual ker-slunk ker-slunk moved on to the third slice what about the girl what girl oh the girl yes she was there too invited her into my boudoir aka the Stabbin cabin we disrobed one another I touched her on her genitalia she touched me I'm a man Italia and that's when I hit it sexually of course Upstairs Downstairs all around the town stairs as you do and by then it was just another night and I mean oil everywhere and sauce all over me sauce oh yeah that's my word for a jackal it anywho I'm so distraught because I feel vulnerable and I don't know I just feel like anyone could take advantage of me right now yeah me one let's see what the blonds have to say for us well thank you Wendell um thank you for sharing it's actually our time today lol SkyMall magazine this is Riyaz speaking hello Riaz I would like to report an item which I ordered that arrived broken Linda Sanders Mockingbird Lane that's right showing the last item that you've received is the Superman bed with the mattress of Solitude that's the one ordered it from a son for his birthday but I cannot give it to him like this and i'm pretty darn-tootin pissed about it I will start processing your reorder right now with you on the line okay I ain't mad at you Rios it's just the system I now okay thank you for understanding sir kids eh huh oh okay well yeah I just got the one myself had sex with a woman and everything to get them how long is this gonna take your son's name Oh Stimpy pretty much Stimpy I have boys too I'll tell you sometimes they can be a real couple of you know votes and ask you're preaching to the choir stupid don't you give me that look you're gonna get it when your mama comes home oh my something's like your wife is on wheels you got that straight Riaz hot little biscuit though name's Claire Body ten face ten so pretty much hit that every night sexually anyway what's one more minute and how old is her son 15 and he still votes a Superman bed enjoy it while you still can he'll grow out of the toys any day now start hooking up with the girls you forget all about that Superman and spider-man stuff pretty much seems like how it would happen maybe then he'll stop bothering me with all those stupid little facts about how those characters you just named are clearly from two distinct and separate universes do some people move on sad I got a better word for you pathetic hey I calls them likes i sees em Riyaz and I Donst tolerate nerds in fact let me nip this in the bud real quick Stimpy Stimpy get back in here I didn't mean clear with the browned body and your creepy-ass face no more sweets for you cuz you're never gonna get laid if you keeps eating sweets all these figurines and toys you got around the house we're throwing them in the trash cuz I'm not real people Stimpy they're not real people so stop being so lonely stop pans so lonely [Music] well and this is none of my business of course but I was wondering if your just jumped out the window oh my god oh I killed himself why to do it it must have been my fault no it wasn't yes it was I'm gonna call the cops don't you dare cancel that reorder it's the only thing I'll have to remember him by and it shines within the darkness of the sands of time but the batter to be one is with the man inside a banner five No [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] five to Canada the music in your heart give way to the page that you [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] strengthen the room top of the end is the power of Wang's [Music]

Channel: Comedy Central

Views: 4,098,929

Keywords: Key & Peele, Key and Peele, Jordan Peele, Keegan-Michael Key, keey & peele, Key & Peele full episodes, key and peele show, sketch comedy, wendell, wendell saunders, pizza, cheesy crust, order, food, action figures, best of, sex addict, sexual, addict, addiction, Claire, call, phone call, customer service, superman, superman bed, superheroes, stimpy, character, key & peele characters, the power of wings, money, song, music video, funny, funny video, comedy videos, funny jokes, funny clips

Id: pzRaAgsbOoc

Length: 15min 2sec (902 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 05 2020