- WELCOME, JOHNSON FAMILY. NOW, WE ALL KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE. COUSIN DELROY'S
GETTING MARRIED... all: MM-HMM. - TO A MAN. WHICH IS CRAZY.
- MM-HMM. - AND WE'RE IN SUPPORT, AND, UH,
WE JUST NEED A LITTLE HELP WITH THE PARTICULARS
OF A GAY WEDDING. WHAT I'VE DONE
IS I TOOK THE INITIATIVE TO GET MY FRIEND GARY IN HERE, WHO'S--I MEAN,
HE'S NOT REALLY MY FRIEND. HE'S A COWORKER OF MINE
WHO HAPPENS TO BE A ACTIVE MEMBER
OF THE HOMOSEXUAL COMMUNITY, AND HE'S GONNA GIVE US
SOME ADVICE ON, YOU KNOW, WHA--WHAT TO DO. SO, GARY, WHA--WHAT CAN--
WHAT CAN WE EXPECT? - ALL RIGHT. WELL, FIRST OF ALL, GUYS, THANKS SO MUCH
FOR HAVING ME HERE, AND I THINK IT'S REALLY AMAZING WHAT YOU GUYS ARE DOING
FOR YOUR COUSIN DELROY. REALLY, I JUST WANTED TO SAY,
BASICALLY, THAT A GAY WEDDING IS JUST LIKE A STRAIGHT WEDDING. YES? YES, SIR. - SO THEN DO THE MEN
WEAR DRESSES AND THEN THE WOMEN WOULD WEAR SUITS? - NO.
NO, NO, NO. YOU WOULD JUST WHERE
EXACTLY WHAT YOU WOULD WEAR AT A--AT A STRAIGHT WEDDING. - NOW, NONE OF US ARE GAY,
SO I ASSUME THAT WE WOULD ALL SIT
THEN IN THE STRAIGHT SECTION. - THE STRAIGHT SECTION?
- YEAH. - OH, THE STRAIGHT SECTION. HE MEANS AS OPPOSED
TO THE GAY SECTION. - NO, NO, THERE'S--THERE'S--
THERE'S NO SECTIONS, GUYS. - BUT THE GAY PEOPLE...
- NO, NO, NO. WHAT--YOU WOULD JUST SIT--
- AND THEN THE STRAIGHT? - NO, LARRY, LARRY, LISTEN TO ME
JUST FOR A SECOND. - BUT THEN THE AISLE.
- YOU WOULD JUST-- YOU WOULD JUST SIT
ON THE SIDE OF THE PERSON THAT WERE FRIENDS WITH
OR THAT YOUR FAMILY'S MEMBERS, JUST LIKE IN A STRAIGHT WEDDING. - SO WE JUST GUESS WHO'S GAY. - OR NOT.
YOU COULD JUST--YEAH. - WE'LL GUESS WHO'S GAY. - OKAY.
GUESS WHO-- - WHEN IN THE CEREMONY
DO WE SING<i>OVER THE RAINBOW?</i> - WELL, YOU DON'T.
YOU DON'T. THIS IS A RELIGIOUS CEREMONY,
SO YOU-- YOU WOULDN'T BE SINGING THAT
DURING THE SERVICE. - OH, ALL RIGHT.
- YOU DONE WITH THE QUESTIONS? - NO, I'M JUST ASKING. - I'M NERVOUS 'CAUSE
I CAN ONLY DO JAZZ HANDS FOR ABOUT THREE MINUTES 'FORE
MY HANDS START TO CRAMP. - OH, SIR, I DON'T THINK
ANYONE'S GONNA EXPECT YOU-- I DON'T THINK ANY--
I DON'T THINK ANYONE'S GONNA EXPECT YOU TO HAVE
TO DO JAZZ HANDS. - NOW CAN WE SEE THE PONY SHOW
FROM THE STRAIGHT SECTION? OR ARE WE WAY
IN THE BACK SOMEWHERE? - MA'AM, AGAIN,
THERE'S NO STRAIGHT SECTION. WHAT IS A PONY SHOW? - YOU KNOW,
WHEN Y'ALL GO LIKE THIS. - NO, THERE WON'T BE-- THERE WON'T BE ANY OF THIS
DURING THE CEREMONY. - OH. OH. - WHEN DO WE SING<i>YMCA?</i> - OH.
- SIR, NOT DURING THE CEREMONY. - OKAY. - WHAT ABOUT<i>MACHO, MACHO</i>MAN?
- NO. - I DON'T KNOW
WHERE TO BUY NO GAY PRESENTS. - WELL, I-I DON'T KNOW
WHAT A GAY PRESENT IS. USUALLY, WHAT COUPLES
DO IS THEY JUST-- THEY JUST REGISTER AT A STORE... - HUH. - LIKE A STRAIGHT COUPLE WOULD. - THE GAY STORE, OR--
- JUST A REGULAR STORE. - WHERE DO YOU GET THE EUROS
TO BUY GAY GIFTS? - ARE YOU SAYING EUROS? YOU WOULDN'T--
YOU WOULDN'T USE EUROS. - NO, IT'S--IT'S--
IT'S A GOOD QUESTION, FINNEY. WE--WE SHOULD MAKE
SOME EYE CONTACT SO WE MAKE SURE THAT
THE COMMUNICATION'S HAPPENING. - YEAH.
- I THINK HE WANTS TO KNOW IS IT, LIKE, A--YOU KNOW,
A DIFFERENT CURRENCY? OR IS IT MORE LIKE CAMEL CASH? - NOPE, JUST GOOD, OLD-FASHIONED
U.S. DOLLARS, YEP. - DO WE HAVE TO PARTICIPATE
IN THE ANAL SEX? - OH!
- OR CAN WE JUST WATCH AND CHEER IN A FIREMEN'S HAT? - NO, THERE'S NO ANAL SEX
AND NO FIREMAN'S HAT. - OH, OKAY.
- IT'S CUNNILINGUS. - IS THAT A QUESTION, SIR? - WHEN DO WE GET TO SING<i>
IT'S RAINING MEN,</i> <i> HALLELUJAH, IT'S RAININGMEN?</i>
- YOU DON'T. - SO THERE'S NO GAY HYMNS
IN THE CEREMONY? - SIR, THERE'S NO SUCH THING
AS A GAY HYMN. - WHAT?
- WELL, DOES THE FAKE PRIEST LOOK LIKE A REAL PRIEST
OR LIKE A NUN? - IT'S GONNA BE A REAL PRIEST.
- OR... - NO, THERE'S NO "OR." - IS IT A SEXY BOAT CAPTAIN, THEN HE TAKES HIS CLOTHES OFF? all: OHH.
- WHAT? NO. NO. - DO WE THROW SOMETHING
OTHER THAN RICE? - LIKE WHAT, SIR? WHAT WOULD YOU THROW
OTHER THAN RICE? - I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW. COUSCOUS.
SKITTLES. - GUYS, A GAY WEDDING IS JUST
LIKE A STRAIGHT WEDDING, OKAY? IT'S EXACTLY THE SAME. - WELL, WHEN THEY KISS, IS IT
OKAY TO STAND UP AND SAY, "EW"? - NO, IT'S NOT BECAUSE IT WOULD
BE--THAT WOULD BE HOMOPHOBIC. - THIS FROM THE MAN
WHO WON'T ALLOW GAY HYMNS AT THE GAY WEDDING. - OKAY, BUT LIKE
A INVOLUNTARY GASP. - I WOULD JUST, I GUESS,
TRY TO CURB THAT BEHAVIOR. - OKAY.
I'LL--I'LL LOOK AWAY THEN. - OH, MY GOD.
- NOW, IS RUPAUL GONNA BE THERE? - NO, I DON'T THINK
DELROY KNOWS RUPAUL. - UH, NEIL PATRICK HARRIS?
- NO. - OOH, DOOGIE. - WHAT IF YOU DON'T WANT
YOUR PICTURE ON THE INTERNET? - THIS IS RIDICULOUS!
- EXCUSE ME, GARY. "RIDICULOUS."
IS THAT A GAY TERM? - OKAY, YEP.
I'LL SHOW MYSELF OUT. - OH, HE'S A LITTLE TESTY,
ISN'T HE? - NAH, HE CAN GO.
- GOOD LUCK. - WE JUST TRYING TO FIND OUT
HOW IT GO. - LET'S GO, STEFAN. - I THINK WE PRETTY MUCH GOT IT.
I kinda want people to throw skittles instead of rice at my wedding now.
I love the cameos, there's Cedric Daniels from the Wire, the Fresh Prince's mom from Fresh Prince, Uncle Rucks from the Boondocks, Agent Broyles from Fringe and Conrad from Weeds.
"When they kiss can we stand up and say eew ?" That made my day xD
That's gold. "Can we see the pony show from the straight section?"
That made my day that was so fucking funny. "Do we have to participate in the anal sex or can we just watch and cheer in a fireman's hat?"
By god, there will be gay hymns at my wedding.
I lost it when he asked if you're supposed to throw couscous
I was half expecting them to ask where they can buy gay rice.
I haven't laughed so hard about a "gay sketch" in ages! It's so good! And by the way, the actors are amazing!