Weird Versions of Santa

hi everybody I'm here in my thinking room and man I sure do tolerate Christmas it's the time when we do cozy stuff and we usually all get free stuff which I'm not one to complain about but Cheez Louise if my middle name isn't B humbug it used to be Morrison let me tell you all a story every year since 2012 I was a sucker for Christmas every time it rolled around the year before my family and I watched the hit film Arthur Christmas as a rental I like Arthur Christmas it's a personal favorite of mine and I hope that's still the case because last time I watched it was a decade ago but anyway on that day the entire CH family was sat down on the couch and we were about to watch a Christmas movie so little CH remembering how fun Arthur Christmas was in 2011 went mother father sibling may we henceforth watch Arthur Christmas annually as a Christmas tradition and after about 3 minutes of them all yelling at me for asking that question I knew I was not the favorite child after that they put on Point Break starring Keanu Reeves and then that's a fine film and all but like that's not a Christmas movie that's stupid that's quite literally the opposite of a winter movie it takes place on sandy beaches and a hot desert you quite literally could not be further from home alone and jingle all the way I mean what do I say I want to enjoy Christmas but I got nobody who wants to enjoy it with me year after year after year I go to different people and they all say stuff like oh they stupid and lame why do you want to get a group of at minimum four people to watch an early 2010s movie or get on with the goddamn video chupo so everybody knows what a Santa is that needs no explanation one night a year this typically moderately obese freak gets into everybody's homes and commits a reverse robbery by giving people stuff they want simple enough the complexity of today's discussion comes from what people do with that Christmas as a whole has become an entire sub genre of modern culture most of the world celebrates it and everyone is aware of its existence including people who make movies and TV shows so that is where I'm coming from today today I want to look at some Santos I can recall look and see how they function see what makes them so special I handpicked a few Santas I want to look at and who knows maybe if there's enough demand I can make this a series and do another discussion like this one next year assuming I'm going to be alive next year but honestly who knows unless you're from next year I guess in my mind there's like a Santa spectrum of Santa quality stuff like how effective they are as a Santa and how much they derive from the simple Santa formula I gave it a rank system one out of 10 means they suck ass as a Santa and 10 means that they're pretty good and a top of the line one to get an idea of how I rank this let's take a real quick look at the Saint Nick monk this is where Santa as a concept Grew From he helped out the less fortunate traveled throughout the land to assist those in need used his wealth for good and overall created the idea of Christmas I would give that like a seven it's the blueprint Santa that would eventually lead to the big red guy it's by far the most important Santa but to an extent this one is kind of Lamer as a result but then that one Santa in the M&M's commercial he's like a three we don't see him much but but the fact he faints and spends so much time at one house is a massive no no he should know about the M&M's being alive cuz he checks the godamn list twice speaking of which speed is a huge variable in being a good Santa people smarter than me calculated that Santa would have to spend the entire Christmas night going over, 1300 mph in order to get to every house that celebrates Christmas I remember this one shitty Nickolodeon cart movie actually doing this with their Santa and making him like the Santa flash but otherwise it will be a massive plot hole to whatever Santa you create or there's got to be workarounds best example sharing this God tier movie once again Arthur Christmas going from my memory because again my loved ones are suffering from a holiday cheer famine this is a semi-realistic approach that I think is pretty good in this iteration Santa is a title that has been passed down throughout the centuries we're currently on the 20th century but we meet the 19th one and find out who becomes the 21st one at the end so this is a triple whammy of Santa so what happens in this Christmas hustle is that the North Pole almost actually as a country in secret there's at minimum a several 100,000 elves in this population who work in a unified military every year in order to deliver the presence they have what I would assume is numerous delivery ships that go from town to town to deliver everything at high efficiency they have the entire things set up to a system with rappers and Mission Control and the field Alves who experience casualties because there is death on Christmas night the 20th Claus Malcolm Claus technically leads the operation but I'm going to be real he's being hard carried by everything else around him it sucks but it's the truth if he was by himself he would be a four maybe even down to a two but with the entire country behind him it would be a nine because the elf military is still flawed and the rest of the movie happens because they missed a single present so then there's Santa 19 Grand Santa this dude was World War II Santa when he was the Santa he still had reindeer being used and flew across the World War II battlefields half drunk evading both the Allied and axe's powers that both registered him as an Uniden Iden ified object and needed to shoot him down 9 out of 10 he makes his son look like a loser and of course Arthur he gets declared as the next Santa at the end of the movie but even throughout it he's already great I'm going to give him our first 10 out of 10 just overall a nice little optimistic Guy full of Jolly joyous times traveled all across the world to deliver a single present easy sweep but moving along let's look at a Santa I'd consider a victim Tim Allen before he becomes Santa his life is just fall fall in apart no other way to put it divorce Christmas Eve at Denny's damn that bites when the curent Santa shows up on his rooftop he yells and somehow that kills this Santa instantly two out of 10 Santa how do you die your job is to go on the roof so Tim Allen then puts on the suit and it's straight up just a parasite wearing this suit declares him as the 21st Santa which uh no no you're you're wrong we we were just over this and after he takes his son on a Santa Adventure the kids straight up just obsessed with Santa for the rest of the year this is how Tim Allen loses custody of his son then also his hair whites out within days and his metabolism straight up stops his life has been entirely ruined by this burden then the suit basically infects his brain with Christmas Gunk and he becomes full of happy and Good Vibes so he's okay with this now but but it wasn't voluntary the second and third movies just make me feel more uncomfortable for this dude after 8 years of being Santa he's told he's got to find a Miss claw's wife and get his son off the naughty list within like a month or else he can't be Santa anymore so so okay great he's got to do that and the third movie Jack Frost is a dick biscuit and trying to replace Tim Allen and he accidentally lets Jack Frost become Santa for a while so then they do that also the Disney Plus show sucks so does these posters they look marvelous I'll give this Santa a 5 out of 10 mainly because he's a victim of the system who can't make up his mind about leaving or embracing the Santa curse like the holiday Guardians in this movie don't help them out at all they realize how bad it is but they don't do anything about it and speaking of which so the Santa in Rise of the Guardians is an interesting guy I'm going to be quick on this one but from what I've seen a lot of people think this Santa specifically is hot which will be deducting some points you should never be horny because of something like this I think the yetis are pretty effective as laborers a better alternative to the elves why do they look like that I think he's legitimately cool at points and definitely a threat but to be fair the guy he's going against looks like that he he's standing like he just pissed himself ultimately as a Santa seven out of 10 because he gets the job done great with kids but I think he's a bit lacking in that hug Factor he's a little too intense kids are going to get intimidated when meeting him the first time he looks more like a biker than a holiday icon I watched this movie one time it was pretty nifty personally I prefer rise of the Brave Tangled dragons now Marvel has a few Santas in their world and there's three I want to take a note of Ultron Santa is a robot Santa programmed to do Santa stuff if that were the case it would be a basic Santa like a five to7 the problem is that it's Ultron and for all my average people in the audience who don't care in your favorite color is blue and your favorite food is pizza because you're that basic and you don't know who Ultron is Ultron units are just evil robots that don't want much else other than human extinction specifically with the Avengers so this Ultron Santa tries to fight The Avengers and dies overall pretty flawed Robo Santa I'm going to give it a 1.999 N9 out of 10 regular Santa is a mutant actually one of the strongest mutants in the Marvel Comics Universe Santa runs his activities like a corporation I think probably lots of Marvel stuff happens Santa gets around and Santa gets put in a lot of bad spots a lot of the time easiest example his reindeer get revealed to be Scrolls Scrolls pretend to be other people so yeah they're not very good and because the reindeer machine is broken Santa then goes to the Illuminati and then they all give him the infinity stone so for about 15 minutes he becomes a less corrupt Thanos this Santa feels like he would be fine it's just that the Marvel Antics make him look bad five out of 10 and then we got jir this guy has a light elf mom and a frost giant dad he's the strongest in Marvel's nine Realms and chooses to be the Santa of all Realms even though he could easily take everything over 10 out of 10 he's dedicated to the craft and you got to appreciate that if there's ever a Marvel vs ccom 4 I expect him to be there most of the Santa I've discussed so far and just in general are pretty good in regards to morals but making an evil Santa has totally been attempted before and a couple of them I think are worth noting today now Krampus isn't technically a Santa but if you rearrange the letters in Krampus you get and that's close enough to a technicality that I need Krampus likes to eat bad children if a child is bad and they provoke Krampus oh well Oh Me Oh My they are in fact in for a bad time best example in the 2015 movie this kid Max is being kind of a dick the outcome of this is that Krampus and his little goons capture each family member one by one in this freaky little hell hole Adventure at the end Max learns that the true meaning of Christmas was family after having them all taken away and Krampus Rewards him by throwing the kid into hell and then like actually letting them enjoy Christmas but now they're they're in a snow globe so either they're being watched from the snow globe or they're stuck in it however you want to look at it something about snow globes and hell and that's probably bad terrifying premise freaky goat man eats children that's a no no I'm going to give Krampus a-7 out of 10 because his results are effective just that the journey to those results are definitely questionable he's doing the opposite of what Santa does he's pretty good at it though going back to actual Santa's I want to take a look at Santa's Slay now this Santa is a demon and he's a pretty bad dude until this nice Angel man kicks his ass in a curling 1V one and now his punishment is to be a traditional Santa for a th000 years the movie takes place right when the 1,000 years are dunzo so now he's going around and killing peeps that's bad and now he's drowning people in eggnog and blowing kids heads up all the average Santa stuff that's really the main premise of the rest of this movie Bad Santa a while in after shooting the iconic Santa Claus Fireball at the main kids the angel who was also the main character's Grandpa and banish Santa to a thousand years of being Santa challenges him to another curling game in the high school hockey ring and almost traps him in Hell forever I I I skipped a lot but just go with it dude lot lots of Santa in Hell supposedly he loses all of his powers post Christmas so at the end he's just like this Immortal dude who's only super powerful on Christmas I'm going to give him a five out of 10 if we're looking at the 1,000-year curse but this entire movie just proves he is a he is a straight up awful dude loves killing people one out of 10 Santa it's just all the Santa stuff but evil so the entire incentive is gone that's just a lame one at least Krampus was cool about it oh my God you suck wow that was one Downer of a santa to end on so before I wrap this little Adventure up there's one more funny guy I want to talk about because when else am I going to be able to talk about this movie ever again that movie I want to talk about is clouse it is a very special holiday movie in my mind this is an animated and fictional retelling how the concepts of Santa came into fruition and became an icon of today I'm about to majorly spoil a lot of this movie so skip to here if you don't want to have it ruined for you it's genuinely a great holiday movie so for context in 19th century Norway this guy Jasper is being a lazy bones when he's supposed to learn the art of being a postman because he's already rich as Ravioli and as punishment he gets banished to this sad rack of a town in smeb and now he's got a post 6,000 letters or else he's going to get disowned by the family one problem though this town freaking sucks everybody's sad the alling bows and Crumbs are like these giant Clans who hate each other and make everything miserable but while looking for people to post letters to he finds this isolated house on the other end of this small island and this is where we run into klouse who at this point is just a Craftsman who has a soft spot for making kids happy so the two go and drop off this present for a sad kid this is where the Santa stuff begins to show up like truly santa e Santa stuff things like him showing up at night the ever iconic laugh and especially the naughti or Nic list so all the kids in town upon hearing about it start helping in fixing up the town just the entire concept of Christmas butterflies into everything being better and everyone being happier except for the elders they wreak of rancid uncool trying to ruin Christmas they aren't joyous they lack holiday cheer get them out of here but klouse is an interesting character basically everyone in this movies like a foil for Jasper becoming a better person which is mutual everyone's happier with themselves by the end and this really does include clouse he's a real tragic guy he and his wife wanted to have a big family so they started Woodworking and making toys so they would all have an even happier time together but they just couldn't have kids no no kids no luck and then his wife gets really sick so now he's just living alone and making bird hous because his wife liked bird houses and uh H is this what empathy feels like it but the movie ends with everyone continuing to live their best lives and the years keep going everyone cares about each other but one day while chopping wood clouse hears the wind and he just decides then and there it's his time to go to to go see his wife so he does and within a few seconds he's gone but somehow even Beyond this he still shows up every Christmas night with the power of good old Christmas mag and I think this movie kind of gave me the best explanation of what a 10 out of 10 Santa is because yeah obviously this is a 10 out of 10 Santa what makes a Santa so special is the authenticity with a lot of these Santas being Supernatural or exclusively happy I think they're the most effective when they're genuine and by that I mean a Santa is most effective when they connect to us at an emotional level they naturally have this energy that makes people feel good and reiterate the emotions behind the holidays when I think about Christmas I think about the good times and emotions that come from it there's a lot of special feelings that can derive from it I'm not too good at explaining what they are but you can feel it and these three specifically have clear incentives behind why they do what they do well maybe maybe not jir as much we we don't get that much time with him but even then based on the time we spend with them they are good people and by proxy good Santas because they clearly love what they do but they still have that complexity I lied earlier I like Christmas it's straight up my favorite time of year especially the week after because everyone feels like they're in limbo in fact I'm one of those people who celebrate a little before Thanksgiving but after Halloween because I have standards and preferences that's why I handpick Santa I don't just pick some I pick the best of the best and worst of the worst sometimes you I guess Tim Allen was just okay I'll I I want to do this again next year this was this was really fun to do it just seems like not everyone has standards because it seems like I'm going to be missing out on Arthur Christmas again just because nobody wants to watch it with me hey what's cracking Compadre Santa traveling at exactly 1,367 m per second also has a skateboard to better diversify our Santa to other versions what are you doing here uh somehow you got on the nice list again I heard you wanted at least a group of four people to watch Arthur Christmas with so I brought this elf with me his name is Shelby hey don't interrupt me anyways let's get the should busy busy busy and so chupo Santa and elf named Shelby in the ever ionic Bobo the baboon all sat down and watched Arthur Christmas it was the best night a week before the actual holiday chupo ever had in his life and to all watching this wonderful tale stay safe stay good and remember to recycle as much as you can n

Channel: choopo

Views: 116,811

Keywords: Arthur christmas, Choopo, Choopo christmas, Choopo papa louie, Film theory, King orange, Klaus, Krampus, Marvel santa, Rise of the guardians, Schaffrillas productions, Stop reading this darn thing, The bizarre lore of, The bizarre lore of santa, The santa clause, Weird versions of, Weird versions of santa, christmas, marvel santa claus, microsoft paint, ms paint, ms paint animation, ms paint animations, santa, santa claus, santa claus song, the santa clauses

Id: Cl9LZf6Bv90

Length: 17min 15sec (1035 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 16 2023