Weird Eighties Toys | Ashens

hello ah who doesn't love weird and disturbing toys answer old people but we don't care about those now haven't lived through the 80s I can confirm there were a lot of very strange toys on offer during that decade I mean arguably they pretty much are at any time you just have to look hard enough for them but that's not the point we're only talking 80s they're the only ones I've got handy to the sofa at the moment and the first thing we're going to look at are a couple of power lords power lords an interesting line of well action figures I suppose really from the company rebel who usually make plastic models I don't I've never heard of a book called Barlow's guide to extraterrestrials and if your local library should have a copy and indeed you still have a local library have a look is very interesting is basically a man called Wayne Barlowe who went through various science fiction stories and drew what he thought the aliens would look like the company revel approached him and said design us some weird aliens that we can make into action figures okay he said and it turned into a thing I think there was a comic spin-off and all sorts of stuff but we can have a look at the leader of the power lords the mighty hero atom power notice that he just looks like somebody's dad or a supply teacher or something else not particularly heroic other than the sort of strange all-in-one suit he's got going on yeah that's atom power for you but don't worry he transforms would you like to see what he transforms into ping yes he gets very ill his skin goes blue he it's mortifying case of varicose veins gets one of those soul stones from Diablo stuck in his forehead which somehow gives him a free back combed afro and he's got a sort of Lord Voldemort thing going on with the nose you'll be pleased to hear the face recognition on the chemical is still picking him up though and the most frightening thing of course is that you may have noticed that his transformation sequence just involves him spinning round so he's kind of got a really quite unpleasant thing going on here where he's got other faces growing at the back of his head my god is Voldemort is there God there we go that's professor Quinzel no quarrel from the first book with Voldemort on the back of his head and all that or were actually save oh look how I'm prominent is nose and chin are and how flat the other I think he just ran into a wall really fast and probably turned in blue anyway I don't really understand why this was thought to be a good idea for the hero of a piece it just looks like a really ill corpse but fair enough it's strange you know I can't seem to get rid of these figures I always have one in the house despite the fact I've never knowingly bought one I had one when I was young and I have a particularly negative memory associated with it so I got rid of it and whenever I buy a box of cheap figures or things now there's always one of these in I've given away two or three I've just given up in the end I just keep one in the house is a sort of evil talisman I can't think of another use for it to be honest Jhansi is missus oh god you're going to love this let me introduce you to the queen of power Shayla or Taylor depending which box you read she did come with various accessories this one like em I think she had some sort of sheer art type hat and a cloak and inexplicably removable brown panties I don't really know how that works for boys toy line but there you go now she's a bit odd looking you may notice she's got a third eye in the middle of a head quite lot of paint rubs probably not something that was designed into it and she's wearing a sort of weird unitard thing and that covers her all up at least do you think it does until you look at the feet there and you can actually see separate toenails and toes on that so that kind of implies this isn't a bodysuit it's just she's got really loose blue skin hmm can you think of a way this could get even more unpleasant well let me show you her transformation again we've got a sort of head growing out of the back but now for the whole body we present the queen of power.yes basically it's a skinned corpse with weird patches of blue mold growing on it and I don't know what's going on with the face I mean it's just looks like somebody mutilated it with a hatchet and then it went rotten the only thing that implies she's perhaps now you know an alien as opposed to a rotting corpse as he got this old tutto feet going on but other than that I'm not finding this in a box of them figures and picking it up and just look over there and then I looked around on it I can think of no other reaction to it to be honest yeah well at least we know nothing's going to get more unpleasant than that except the very next thing I'm going to show you okay this literally impose the use of rubber gloves um dearie me okay this is an infamous toy I'm still not entirely sure how I managed to get hold of one especially not still in its packet but this is something from the 80s that was banned and for a very good reason I can never get this glove on I will show you and but when those gloves for people with four fingers and eyes nope I think we're all right ah cheap rubber gloves there's nothing like okay ready have a look at dog breath from breath blasters let's see if you can work out what these things do squeeze me if you dare for a blast of bad air lovely I'll do your bad mouthing for you watch out i reek less subtlety and pun in the last one there really it's just blatantly telling you that it effing stinks send it with safe materials non-toxic oh that's all right then dog breath his breath will hound you yes breath blasters the idea is you squeeze them and they spew out um something that really stinks lovely and also as a point out that over the years the package has gone completely rotten and unfortunately has been unsealed so may not be as potent as it used to be anyway it apparently makes sense who to collect all six each smells grosser than the rest bub each smells grosser than the rest no that's not physically possible think about it one of them's got to smell the most gross and one of them's got smell the least grow so they couldn't physically exist anyway other things in this range included George garbage mouth for apparently smells of rotten garbage mackerel Matthew smells of dodgy fish death breath who smells of rotting corpses is a child really gonna know what that smells like ms morning mouth again I would hope a child would know what that smells like dog breath his breath will hound you yes this one that's it seems like the miles not the lot to us and Victor vomit yech as we all want something that stinks of vomit belching in our faces now there were lots of stories about these when I was young they were naughty and you weren't allowed to have them and I think that relatively expensive so I never saw one at the time um was it one of those things that was just talked to her never released over here hmm no must been released earlier how else but I've got one um yeah they joke behind them was they smelt so bad it was a real problem as an it can sort of make people sick if you sneaked up and squeeze one at them and now unfortunately I've got to try to explain smells through the medium of video this is not going to be easy right that's taken with of one corner something I have pretty much avoided doing got it absolutely yeah just the corner of the packet really stinks actually quite badly and I don't know if this is sort of gone off a bit over the years but it still seems to have its potency I'm slightly worried of taking I also notice oh it's all covered in like white dust it's not something that's accumulated I don't know why is this rotted is it the way the stored or is it well more to do with the thing itself Oh God all right here we go 25 years after being locked up let's have a look at dog breath it's just a lump of rubber can't actually smell anything from here up close I can Oh God that is absolutely horrible it smells of sort of rotting rubber trying out this something that has happened over the last 25 years and yeah there is kind of a hint of unpleasant em dog odour or something I'm now going to take the opportunity to tell you why these were actually banned answer is you know where it says non-toxic on him not true they are toxic some of the chemicals involved are literally poisonous to humans not massively so I wouldn't have one around but I'm wearing rubber gloves just in case okay put it off long enough I'm gonna squeeze it and see what it smells like ready oh it doesn't really smell of anything it's gone off over the years I knew I should have paid eight thousand pounds for this mmm this is sort of just a rough hint of a really really horrible rotting rubbery dog smell on it and I presume that's what it smelt like at the time ah I'm quite disappointed by that I thought there would be something left to it well there is a modern equivalent this is not from the eighties I repeat this is not yet they're these things called stink blasters this one apparently smelling like a garbage truck I can't somehow imagine that these will be anywhere near a dad let's find out it's a little man with no nose there's a reason it's got no nose oh and there's a like a hole in the mouth for it to make smells through that actually just smells like a slightly dodgy perfume nope clearly over the years they have done away with the toxic chemicals and the properly bad smells as a result yeah that's just sort of faintly unpleasant whereas the if you get the top of that was deeply nasty and I'm time in some ways quite glad that it didn't actually unload its full stench into my gob of pink oh well time for a look at some Ghost Busters things they inexplicably and well I say expectedly I suppose they ran out of different versions of Peter Venkman to make and so decided to make some weird neighborhood figures that just look like people in the neighborhood that turned into nasty things see this looks like your typical motorcycle policeman from a film bit t1000 in fact but don't worry because you can stretch ex-cops limbs in an unpleasant sense press a button and yes he's been dead a very long time and is sort of dil shrieking in agony mmm-hmm have a look at the detail on that tongue absolutely fantastic I could imagine this being one of the toys grandma probably wouldn't have bought for you especially not she looked like this this is granny gross she's a granny wait for the gross bit just looks like a little old lady with slightly odd proportions but twiddle a hat R and she's got a third eyeball and her eyes pop out of her head but far more interestingly pull her head up and yeah there's something there's something really unpleasant the person I've never been able to put my finger on perhaps it's the giant tongue and the fact that her giant tongue and jaw seems to take up her entire body and year let's not think too much about that actually Oh Deary me take these gloves off actually and probably well you may think that toys like that wouldn't sell very well you would probably be wrong because the Beetlejuice line of toys based on the Michaels Keaton film also had their own versions I only have one and part of it is missing but you'll still get the idea Beetlejuice as neighborhood is apparently full of old men with really weird looks on their faces whose neck breaks because the springs to nerf [ __ ] hang on let's get that back there and walk around with their hands in their pockets yeah this is pretty much creepy enough already but don't worry they calzone with a bit of fiddling it turns out he's got a buzzard growing out of his ass other batteries that head is growing out of his ass I don't really know again can't really see where they were coming from with this one and it's just sort of a bit weird but the vulture thing I can live with it's more of a sort of really creepy old man with his hands bunched in his pockets which is worrying me for it hopefully on it anyway is Beetlejuice himself hello Beetlejuice look you've got a life jacket thing on you've been out at sea haven't you what's happened to you oh you've got monstrous parasites in your skull that's nice for you also this is pleased to be the only thing the figure actually does oh hang on you and spurs move the arms up you push the legs together yes you push the legs together and tentacles come out of his head mmm I probably would have stuck with he-man over this personally um can't actually this is freaking me out let's have a look at something slightly different shall we how about a small Beetlejuice with his head on a crab or does that stag beetle I don't know it's not the color of anything real man I've been so nauseous now I'm wondering if they're dog breath air assess you having some sort of small effect anyway let's have a look at another jolly beet juice oh this one's a bit nicer this is something actually from the film where he shouts it's show time and lots of weird stuff happens faces a bit mmm you know fair enough it's all exciting for the kids and also his neck ratchets up like a weird snakes neck that's all very interesting but is odd as if you take it head off you've got this absolutely great we know how to describe it is it supposed to be a lizard Taylor snake well snake's head presumably to go with the neck and it's got kind of huge bug eyes and is like vomiting blood or is that supposed to be the tongue and it looks like it's in a lot of pain I'm perfectly honest with you and also the snake head thing doesn't work because of that big rubber collar ruined everything uh yeah you didn't get stuff like this with he-man except of course mantener which was some sort of bug-eyed thing whose eyes came out of his head I actually had one of these one of my arms being most displeased with it also something that worries me know that I didn't realize at the time is that his face appears to contain a blackened anus which isn't something that I really want to associate with any Masters of the Universe I've just spotted something out the core of my I didn't realize I had hang on get out the box here it's fake or not actually particularly weird a disturbing but well from a business sense they basically got a he-man figure molded it in blue and claimed it was an evil robots that impersonate a man the problem being of course you would probably notice if he man was bright blue or not can't imagine that fooling anyone I remember in the little comic books that came with it it turned the normal color of he-man and something happened and then it went blue and everyone went oh you're an evil robot and he was like yeah fair enough and they all had tea but you know the figure doesn't do that it's just a blue he-man can you imagine if that I can't imagine that having sold many how would you convince your dad you wanted another he-man but in bright blue it's just not gonna work as it oh well I'll leave you anyway with one of my favorite little things and the a-team is very popular they made figures of the a-team and they decided to invent some villains for the a-team to fight and for some reason they were all really badly molded and just looked like weird tramps and this one's got a hat that's obviously too small for its head what is going on and the little of - this is probably the worst bit get them to sit down in the vehicles or whatever they only sit like that spare some change mister never really saw what they were coming from they're also cutting up the names of them I think they were all named after snakes as enemies of the a-team should be anyway that's quite enough of the I don't have anything more disturbing to show you especially not this weird Batman figure from 1989 where always look to me like the joke his head was a desiccated corpse you gave that feeling or is it just me who has the shrieking nightmares well probably all of us now and just like to report that the breath Blaster seems to have had some kind of reaction with the atmosphere or something and whilst it now still doesn't sort of built any smell it's making the whole room [ __ ] stink really badly and I have to wrap it in like a load of plastic bags or something and do it yeah I think I just touched it now I'm going to die

Channel: ashens

Views: 1,554,287

Rating: 4.8901224 out of 5

Keywords: power lords, adam power, Shayla, Chayla, Breath Blasters, Stink Blasters, Beetlejuice, Ghostbusters, A-Team, Joker, These tags ruin the surprise, ashens, review, funny

Id: GZyuuzdSfBw

Length: 16min 13sec (973 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 15 2012